'Twas Lonely in the Moon

When I awoke, I groaned as I found myself in an embrace with the guardsmare, her head still nestled against my rear, with my tail wrapped around it. A cursory glance found her awake as well, seeming anxious. As our eyes meet, I can hardly think over the pounding in my head, the dryness of my throat, and the fullness of my bladder. At the very least, I realize that prudent bathroom use avoided us sleeping in a puddle. My morning wind breaking upon her face acts as a wakeup call that spurs us both to move out of the embrace.

"U-uh, thou may...get up and do as thou will, I will not be needing thy services today", I say with a struggle to find the words.

The guardsmare makes a rapid, wordless exit, without even taking her armor. Hopefully after she relieves herself, she comes back for it or stays in my chambers where ponies won't ask questions.

Now alone, I think about what I had done during the night. My sister no doubt had been hit hard with my blunt words, and I will need to face her. In the meantime, I have the aftereffects of a bottle of wine to deal with. Thankfully my prudent second trip to the bathroom had avoided any accidents, but I will need to relieve my bladder yet again soon, and that still will leave my head sore and my throat dry.

Lethargically, I work my way out of bed, practically dragging myself. I am so slow that the guardsmare passes me on her way back, and once in the bathroom, I practically fall into the toilet while relieving myself. I don't even bother to wipe before heading towards the dining hall.

Along the way, I nearly fall over, but a guard, of the white stallion variety, catches me. I briefly give him a confused, slightly lusty look.

"Are you okay, princess?" he asks.

"I think... I need water. Lots of water. Make haste", I say as I get to my hooves with only a slight wobble.

He runs off making quite some haste, causing his armor to clank. I am nearly halfway there as he returns, with an ornate pitcher the size of my head and a matching cup. Ignoring the cup, I take the whole pitcher in my magic and consume it in a manner that makes the guard both stare slack-jawed and blush; I had learned it from a young village filly who seemed to know every young stallion in the land and said she was training for a drinking contest; I wonder if she ever won.

With the water making my throat and belly feel quite content, I drop the pitcher. The guard fumbles for it as it falls and shatters on the floor, making me chuckle with a slight burp as I continue my trek. Strangely, I hear him scream and hyperventilate. 'Tis only a pitcher of a common variety, with the seal of a stallion who lived near to the forest on it; hardly worth the 30 bits Celestia paid for it.

Most of the way there, the same guard rushes by me as if something is quite urgent. It really shows me that I am quite slow in my stupor.

Finally, I reach the dining hall. 'Tis much as it was last night, but without anypony around save a guard ensuring some pancakes are warm and edible; strange, I would expect my sister here for breakfast. I sit down wordlessly and begin to dig in. The syrup and butter are excellent, and the glasses of milk and grape juice help ensure hydration as well as nutrition. Surely, I shall be quite healthy today.

With the meal finished, I turn to the guard.

"Where is my sister?" I ask, and he somehow becomes a bit paler despite being white.

"U-uh, she is in a private meeting, and has asked not to be disturbed, not even by you, your highness", he says with clear anxiety.

"Oh really now? Thou shall lead me there right away", I say sternly, my patience waning.

"B-but your majesty, Celestia would punish me!" he says in excuse, sweating.

"Celestia hesitates to so much as paddle thee and thy lazy, cowardly brethren! A proper punishment leaves permanent marks upon the backside for all to see, if not AFFIXING THY DYING HEAD UPON A POLE JUTTING OUT OF THINE ARSEHOLE! WOULDST THOU LIKE TO EXPERIENCE PROPER PUNISHMENT?" I say, breaking into the Royal Canterlot Voice in anger.

He stammers, shakes, and slightly loses control of his bladder upon the floor before replying.

"N-no your majesty, I'll lead you there, don't hurt me! I'll clean that up, too!" he says, getting out his words fast as I sip the last of the grape juice.

"Excellent. Lead the way", I say with a smile, acting as if calm.

The guard struggles to calm his breathing as we come to a nearby room, with 2 very serious-looking spear-equipped guards at the door. Suddenly, the guard that brought me water comes out, the guard that wet the floor darts in, and when I try to follow, the guards cross spears.

"What is the meaning of this?" I ask in a swift tone.

"Apologies, your highness, but Celestia specifically asked that you not come in until the meeting is over. It'll only be another few minutes", the one on the left says.

I sigh and cross my front hooves as I wait. Thankfully, I have the patience not to blast open the doors. My sister deserves at least a little bit of leeway and a chance to explain herself before I start breaking things.

Finally, the door opens and out comes the guard. Inside, I can see Celestia, Fancy Pants, and his rather pink wife. The two are exchanging pleasantries as I trot in and clear my throat. On the other side is...the guardsmare, sans armor. I eye her up, but she cowers under the table slightly. I cut the pleasantries shorty by grabbing the slender pink mare and dragging her away from Celestia, then in a fluid motion send a hoof hard into her buttocks to get her moving. She and her husband both make surprised sounds in response before heading for the door.

"Sister, we must talk at once", I say with a barely-restrained tone.

"Yes, we most definitely must. Everypony but Luna out, now", is her reply, giving an intimidating look even to the guards.

I always admire her ability to strike fear with tone alone, and this is no exception as ponies all but run away, as if fearing for their very lives. The doors slam once all are out.

"Sister, what is so important you must hide it from me? I have just returned and I feel quite ignored!" I say with a slight slam on the table.

Celestia sips tea and sighs.

"Luna, this meeting was about you. I'm...concerned. I've heard from everypony who has so much as poured water for you, and the stories are all similar; you barely regard others, you act negligent and most unprincesslike, even downright foalish!" she gets out before taking a breath and another sip of tea.

I glare at her and forcefully levitate the cup of tea away from her mouth and to mine. I sip and swallow it all as she stares.

"Oh, was thou drinking that? I thought thou had concern for me. Or maybe thy concern is that I don't coddle the guards!" I say with a slightly-raised voice.

"The guards? It wasn't the guards who broke my favorite pitcher, the last I had from a dear friend who passed 970 years ago! Nor did they burst into my dreams uninvited and emotionally tormented me! It certainly wasn't they who turned the VERY FIRST female guard into a...a sex toy! You will EXPLAIN yourself, sister, or I will have you ejected from this castle", she said with her mane very slightly aflame.

Anger welled within me at being threatened like that; 'tis my castle as much as hers! She hath no right to even think about such a thing! I throw the teacup at a wall, making it shatter, and step to come nose to nose to challenge my 'dear sister'.

"Dost thou even know where Slashing Strike is buried? Dost thou care?" I ask as my horn charges.

"I do! I promise I'll take you there if you'll just calm down! You barely even knew him, he was a fool who kept asking me for danger! He thought your butt was cute, so he kept slapping and rubbing it at court; I could see it, and you were nothing special to him! He would've died anyways! He was a pile of shit when he was alive!" she said with righteous indignation.

At this I am incensed. I unleash my fury in magical form, but my sister, with tears in her eyes, blasts back. A blinding light engulfs the room and I'm thrown into the wall next to where the teacup hit. 'Twould surely break the spine of a normal mare, but my magically-resilient alicorn body is merely hit by extreme pain and 'tis the wall that cracks as the impact knocks the wind out of both my lungs and rear. I black out a moment later.

When I come to, my ears are ringing and I can faintly see Celestia standing over me, cradling me. I can hardly hear what she's saying.

"Luna, get up! Luna!" she begs.

"Ungh...sister", I say weakly while only managing to rock myself away from the wall a bit in response to the command.

She hugs me as tears fall from her face. I see the pieces of teacup. They're the same pattern as the pitcher I broke. I tear up as well.

"I...I'm sorry. I'm s-", I begin to say, but am interrupted as my sister forcefully kisses me on the lips.

My eyes go wide at first, but I soon close them. For half a minute, our lips gently push against each other as we swap spit and cry. My sister's tongue goes in first, teasing out my own; I uncertainly reciprocate for a bit before she pulls away.

"I didn't mean to raise my voice or hurt you, little sister", she says with a motherly tone while wiping a tear off her face.

"It's alright...thanks for that. I seem to have lost my dignity judging by the wetness on my legs. I deserved it for what I did to thy pitcher and teacup set", I say as I wipe away a tear of my own.

"Oh Luna, it's just some porcelain. You're what really matters. I couldn't bear it if I had shattered you", she says while stroking my hair.

"Thou nearly did! Next time, make the walls a little softer before thou slams me into them!" I joke, laughing a bit, which turns to coughing.

Celestia smiles and laughs with me.

"Glad to see I didn't break your sense of humor. Now, if you are to execute any of our guards, it requires my approval first, and while you are welcome to use them for pleasure, I would rather you make it an optional duty", she says with a resolute look.

"Understood, society now does seem more...lax. Is she alright?" I ask, realizing I have been quite the donkey.

"Her name is Light Step, and she's quite fine aside of a minor complaint about being mindful with releases from your backside", Celestia says with a chuckle.

"That's what she gets for using it as a pillow", I say in a smarmy tone.

"Perhaps. If you can learn to tone down the threats and the, erm, drunkenness, I think I'd like the new crude you, sister", Celestia says with a smirk.

"Hmph, 'tis merely the effects of the drain from Nightmare Moon being removed from me, my mind hath fared no better than my body", I say as I finally get up.

"I see. So you always would cry out my name when you orgasm?" asks Celestia with a smug smile.

I was speechless as I stared into her eyes.

"It's okay, Luna. We can't control who we fancy. These last few days must have really stressed you out and I suppose I'm the only source of stability in your life. It only makes sense you would fall in love with me. Say, what secured it? Was it something I said?" she asks.

"The bathroom, when I was drunk. Perhaps if thou had let Fancy Pants wipe me I would have stolen him from his wife!" I say with a giggle.

Celestia quite likes the joke, and pats me with a wing as she laughs.

"Now, I may not share exactly the same feelings, but over the centuries I've had all sorts of lovers, and they've taught me that a relationship need not start with both sides infatuated; lasting love is formed by deliberately and sincerely building the relationship, and I can't think of anything better than to help you in your time of need by sharing some of what I've learned in the bedroom. Got any kinks?" she asks with a tone normally reserved for asking the flavor of pastry.