Silhouettes

by Artfulcord

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Fluttershy, Original Character, Suicide / Self Harm, Slice of Life
Length: 1593

When JetLag takes his own life for unknown reasons, Paintdrop experiences a very different form of grief.

When someone close to you dies it is never easy to handle. It’s even worse when you think you know that person so well that there was no way they would do it. So when a rational pony tries to understand an irrational act, nothing comes out as expected.

———————

Don’t forget to leave a rating and comment what you thought below!

Published 2019-04-15 13:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-04-15 13:40:01 UTC

Silhouettes

Author's Note

I wrote this beacaue one of my friends recently died to suicide. I don’t really know how to process it so I’m here now.

Heh.

Leave comments to tell me what you all thought, constructive criticism is always helpful.

Silhouettes

Every day was the same. It had been that way since they had met each other. The silver lining in Jet’s hair has always streaked the sky every morning before school where they had walked side-by-side straight to their classes. For their whole lives it had been that way and every time they would talk about something different. They talked about everything together.

They shared every experience together. Every. Single. One.

So why? Why did it happen? Why was the walk so quiet? The light grey unicorn was blank. His face still had his splash of color where he had received his name, but his cool hazel eyes were cloudy and tainted.

You’re supposed to feel pain when someone who you’ve known since you met at a foster home for abandoned infants dies. You’re supposed to hurt when you find out how. You’re supposed to feel something.

So why was he numb?

The school had been closed for a week since the announcement had been made. Since they had found the body hanging there. A Pegasus doesn’t die to hanging unless they are tied up, unless they were forced to not fly. Unless they let it happen on purpose.

Paintdrop was on his way home to his adoptive mother, Fluttershy. While Jet hadn't been adopted by her too they had still stayed in touch and remained close. Over the course of their lives, they had grown together and they had stuck together like glue. He thought he knew everything about Jet.

He thought he could read him like a book whenever they met. He thought that Jet was perfectly fine. He was a great flyer, one of the best actually. He had been taken in as one of the Wonderbolt’s prodigies and received much praise from all of the members of the flight team. He was on his way to the top and nopony had any chance of stopping him.

Nopony but himself.

Paintdrop stumbled a little when he reached Fluttershy’s welcome doormat and gently knocked his head on the door. A soft voice called out from the other side. “Coming!” Fluttershy announced as she came to the door. Her eyes fell upon her adopted son and she smiled. “Oh! Welcome home.”

Paintdrop walked inside, careful not to wake the birds who had settled down for the evening. He trotted up the stairs to his room. He entered and hopped onto his bed. Laying down on his back he stared at the colorful ceiling that he had created. The swirling gold and brown blended perfectly with the orange and blue. Small puffs of white dotted the landscape in the representation of clouds.

And three very visible figures were sitting on a hill. Two Pegasi and one Unicorn looked directly at the setting sun poking barely over the horizon as the world faded to black. Paintdrop slowly closed his eyes.

———————

Paintdrop opened his eyes to see the blue sky perfectly clear. Lifting his head, he noticed that he was laying in a field of tall grass, a comfortable one at that. He mumbled inaudible words as he got to his hooves. Dipping his back he stretched his hind legs and his body. Sliding back into a downward dog and up again he straightened out and looked around. He was noticeably closer to the ground and his horn was shorter.

In an attempt to tap the tip of it he realized his legs were shorter and he couldn’t reach. For a moment he marveled at the sight, but was interrupted by the sound of a white Pegasus flying overhead. Paintdrop looked up and saw them glide down for a landing. He flipped his silver mane out of his eyes held out a hoof in greeting.

“Hey, you’re the new kid, right? Nice to meet you! My name is-“

“Jetlag. Your name is Jetlag.”

The young Pegasus cocked his head a little. “You know my name?” His hoof was still extended waiting for Paintdrop.

“Yes. I know a lot of the names of ponies that are in the foster home with me.” Paintdrop extended his own hoof and met Jetlag in the middle. They shook each other’s hooves and then put them back to their original position.

The two said nothing and simply stared at. In a quick motion, Jetlag’s foreleg suddenly shot out and gave a good shove to Paintdrop. “Tag!” And with that, he jumped up and landed on a nearby clearing that was set at the bottom of the hill which the foster home was set atop. Several other young ponies scattered at the sight of him fleeing.

Paintdrop burst into the clearing and took off after a green earth pony. “You can’t catch me!” She shouted as she jumped over a branch. She looked behind her to see if Paintdrop was still chasing her and he was nowhere in sight. Then, before she could react, with a puff of magic he appeared and tagged her. “You’re it!” And with another puff, he was gone.

“Hey, no fair!” She cried as she turned her head towards a Pegasus colt. Noticing her gaze he bolted up the hill toward the metaphorical safe zone they had created. Too bad he was so clumsy and he tumbled back down the hill right into the filly. Their snowball formation kept them going at a steady pace down the hill, collecting more and more members as well as more screams as the young ponies were overtaken and added to the behemoth.

Paintdrop had found his way next to Jetlag and the looked in horror at the sight of the approaching ball. Jet tried to take off but his tail was caught and he was sucked in by the ball. Paintdrop, however, had already taken off at full speed and was in too big a rush to remember that he could use magic. Unfortunately for him, he wasn’t the fastest colt in the world and was sucked in too.

As the ball picked up speed it neared the old tree in the middle of the clearing. Just before they made contact one of the volunteers at the shelter stopped the ball with her magic and the young orphans were sent sprawling on the grass in a fit of giggles. The rose-colored Unicorn watched with delight as the ponies rolled in laughter.

Paintdrop opened his eyes as he regained control and realized that he was under the old tree. And looking up at one of the branches. He took notice of a rope on the branch next to it and turned his head to see if a swing was on the other side.

He saw what was at the end of it and screamed.

———————

Paintdrop jolted upwards in bed and let out a yell of horror and shock. Fluttershy burst into the room. “Is everything alright!?” She looked at him with soft eyes and calmed down a little. “Another nightmare?” Paintdrop nodded his head slowly. Fluttershy walked over to his bed and sat next to him.

Wrapping her left foreleg around him she held him close. He nuzzled his head under hers and they sat still, Fluttershy enjoyed the moment, not for its reason but for its value. Paintdrop had distanced himself ever since the incident, even from her. So for him to finally accept her hugs made Fluttershy happy, but she knew it wouldn’t last long.

“Are you okay?”

“No.” Paintdrop replied blankly. “I don’t get it. He was so nice and he was doing so well.” Paintdrop was starting to lose his composure.

“You can’t read other’s minds.”

“But I should’ve been there for him!”

“You were.”

“No I wasn’t!”

“You two were like peas in a pod. You always stuck together.”

“Well now we aren’t!” He sniffled and struggled to hold back tears. “Now he’s not here! He won’t be here! I’ll never see him again!” He gave way to the tears Fluttershy hugged him tighter. “I don’t understand! I don’t! He was looked up to by everyone in school! He always did well and he always hung out with the most popular ponies! He... he was...”

Fluttershy didn’t let go like he had expected her to. She was never one for emotional moments ever since he had met her. But now it felt right. It felt like he wasn’t alone again. He had somepony there for him again.

“He was my friend.” Paintdrop finally muttered out. He returned Fluttershy’s hug and they sat in silence.

Several minutes passed, neither of them moving even slightly. Fluttershy opened her eyes. “Paintdrop, are you alright now?”

“Yeah Fluttershy, I think I am.” He opened his eyes. “I’ve got a question...”

“Yes?”

“What happens now?”

“We move on, but we don’t forget. How you decide to learn from this is up to you.” Paintdrop nodded yet made no effort to move. He came to a realization.

He may never understand why. He may never know why. He won’t ever be the same and he will always remember his friend. But although this experience may impact him he would make sure it doesn’t affect him badly. He will make new friends, meet new ponies, and whenever somepony has a similar event happen. He will help.

“Hey, Fluttershy?”

“Yes Paintdrop?”

“Can I call you mom?”