Sweet Dreams, My Princess
Two unicorn Royal Guards clad in bright golden armor stood up straighter as soon as Twilight rounded the corner and stepped into view. When she turned and her gaze fell on them, they looked at her with the same sort of reverential respect, if not awe, that they had given Princess Celestia, except it was so very much worse. Their respect and awe were more akin to something she would have expected to see from young foals seeing Princess Celestia for the first time, rather than Royal Guards who had served and known Princess Celestia for years.
It was a familiar look of awe she saw in their expressions, a look that she was certain she shared with them the very first time she had gazed upon Princess Celestia in all of her glory as she raised the sun during the Summer Sun Celebration.
It was enough to make her stop in her tracks. For the briefest instant, her lips twitched up in a wince and her cheeks tightened. Neither of the Royal Guards noticed, and both of them quickly snapped to attention in her presence. Royal Guards standing at attention when she walked past was something she was used to: it came with having been Princess Celestia's student and walking alongside her mentor. Their attention being directed at her when they stood so proudly was something she had become ever so slightly familiar with since her ascension and coronation. But it wasn't the same. There was more to it now.
The awe in their eyes was different and new. It was nearly the same look of awe that the ponies of Equestria- her ponies- looked at her when Princess Celestia and Princess Luna- Celestia and Luna- passed on the throne to her. The memory was fresh in her mind from earlier that day: the ocean of ponies from all across Equestria, from the largest city to the smallest village, all gathered in Canterlot to bear witness to the transfer of power. She could still hear their cheers in her mind, the utter jubilant joy and ecstasy they had; Celestia and Luna were missed, but they made certain that their retirement didn't overshadow her taking the throne. They didn't want the mood to be somber, as it was a celebration for her and her friends, and a celebration it was.
Her chest tightened and ached as she stood there. Her legs grew tense and rigid, making her body straighten to her full height. Her unfamiliar ethereal mane rippled more anxiously with each passing second, the pink and purple band coiling and flicking rather than flowing with the sort of calm grace Celestia's mane had. It was a great responsibility; it was a heavy burden. The golden regalia on her chest nearly bit into the back of her neck, and the tiara atop her head felt like a mountain that at any moment or at the slightest wrong move, would come crashing down. Equestria was her responsibility. Equestria was the responsibility of her friends and herself. Every mare, stallion, filly, and colt were now her little ponies, as Celestia had said. For the first time, ponies would go to sleep at night and it wouldn't be Princess Celestia or Princess Luna who would watch over them and keep them safe.
It would be her.
Her chest tightened further. She couldn't inhale.
It was just too much. It was just too soon. 'I'm never going to be ready for this,' croaked in her mind, making her jaw tighten.
'Your friends will be there for you, and I have no doubt that together, the six of you ensure Equestria's prosperity and harmony for centuries to come!' Celestia's proud voice echoed through her mind, making her chest loosen just enough for her to let out a shallow breath and then inhale.
Celestia's smile, Luna's smile, all the faith they placed in her and her friends, it made her want to cry. Her lips lifted up into a fragile smile and she swallowed a knot in the back of her throat.
In her mind, Celestia's voice whispered, 'Your friends will be there for you every step of the way.'
She exhaled, then turned to face that intimidating door the two Royal Guards protected. As she inhaled, her own words came back to mind, 'When the time comes, we'll definitely be ready.' And that time was now.
She took a step forward, then another. The click of the unfamiliar golden shoes she wore echoed through the quiet hallway. Each step made her even more aware than the last of the adornments she wore, those that told the world she was Equestria's Princess, Guardian, and Ruler. Her friends would help her carry the burden, but she was The Princess. They all had their specific skills to contribute, but they weren't her. She was meant to replace both Celestia and Luna with her friends help.
It wasn't something she felt like she could ever truly do. Celestia had always been there for her in some way, even when her friends and herself were on their own to save Equestria. She had always felt like somepony was there to tell her it would be okay, even if, as Rainbow had put it, Celestia and Luna never really helped them. But now that was gone; she was the pony who would have to tell everypony else that it would be okay. Her friends and herself had to make sure it was okay because there was nopony else they could fall back on except the Pillars and Discord, and there was no guarantee Discord would help or that the Pillars could help.
The two guards paid no mind to her hesitant approach, and every click served to hammer home one simple fact: 'Celestia and Luna are gone... and I'm here alone.'
The silence filling Canterlot Castle was a familiar silence, the same silence that normally filled the halls, but it didn't feel familiar. The silence felt almost haunted as if the entire castle were holding its breath as she walked towards that door. It was so different from the carefree laughter of her friends and the joyful cries of ponies celebrating her ascent to the throne. Her legs trembled like a scared filly each time she picked one up from the floor. And there was nopony there to tell her it would be okay.
'This is silly,' she knew.
Click. Click. Click.
'They'll be there for me,' she knew.
Click. Click. Click.
'They're not here right now,' she knew. Her ears twitched back. 'That's another big change...'
The two guards fell into deep, reverential bows, touching their chins to the floor as she neared the door. Her whole body stopped and her mind went silent as they bowed so respectfully. The Royal Guards didn't bow the same way to her as they did to Celestia and Luna. Somehow, they respected her more than Equestria's ruler for the past thousand years and her sister, as if the respect both Celestia and Luna had commanded fell solely on her.
'How am I supposed to fill Celestia's shoes?' Had she spoken the thought aloud, she knew she would have whimpered.
Neither of them rose from that bow. They placed their trust squarely on her withers, and not just because Celestia and Luna trusted her, either. The way they bowed was more than enough to tell her that. They believed in her. Everypony did. It was the same sort of belief that drove ponies- herself included- to make promises on Celestia and Luna's name.
The seconds drew on and she lingered there in silence. Neither of them broke the bow, neither of them wavered nor fidgeted, and neither of them lost any of that faith in her. Faith in her to guide and protect, as Celestia had done on her own for a thousand years.
But she had five friends to back her up, something that Celestia did not have. 'I'm worrying too much...'
She swallowed back the fear and apprehension, then managed to voice a weak, "Rise," and both Royal Guards rose from the bow at her command in one graceful, well-rehearsed motion.
"Good evening, Princess," the one on the left- Star Watch- greeted with a warm smile.
"The ceremony was beautiful, Princess!" the one on the right- Late Night- eagerly followed up.
A slight smile returned to her lips as she gave them a nod. "Thank you..." was all she could find to say. Her eyes landed on the door, and out of instinct, she lit her horn.
"Let me get that for you, Princess!" Star Watch interjected, quickly lighting his own horn and pushing the door open for her.
Another thing she would have to get used to. The memory of the Cakes fussing over Princess Celestia's visit to Ponyville came to mind, and she barely stopped herself from cringing at the thought, 'Ponies are going to look at me and treat me the same way now...'
"Princess?" Late Night's voice broke her thoughts and her eyes jumped onto him. He shifted his weight, making his body sway ever so slightly. "May I, um, speak freely?"
Her smile returned in full force and she nodded quickly. "Of course!" she declared.
"Thank you," he said with a quick bow of his head. When he lifted his head back up, the smile was gone. It made her own smile waver. "Are you... alright?"
'Am I alright?' whispered in her mind. Years ago, or even weeks ago, the answer would have been an emphatic, 'No!' Now, though, the answer came in the form of a clenched jaw, tensed legs, and tight chest. It was still a no. 'I'm still... afraid,' she knew. No matter how much she said it, no matter how much one of her friends said it, and no matter how much anypony else said it, she was still terrified: 'Are we enough? Can we do this?'
They had faced down every threat to Equestria together before and won. But that didn't mean it would always be the case. There was always next time. Grogar may have been defeated, Discord may have been on their side, the Tree of Harmony was still alive, and the Pillars were there to help if it came down to it, but what would happen the next time?
What would happen when one of them finally did something more than just incapacitating one of her friends? What if somepony got hurt and they couldn't make things right? She would have failed.
She felt cold. The hallway felt empty. The silence felt enveloping as it whispered into her ears.
The two guards- her guards, her little ponies- looked at her somehow knowing she would make it okay.
But she didn't have the same assurance. She couldn't look at a mirror and know she would make everything okay.
She was still a pony.
'Is this what you felt?' she wondered, and at that thought, she sucked her lip in between her teeth and gently bit down. 'Is this what you felt after you banished Luna? Knowing that you had to face the next one thousand years on your own without your sister... did you feel the same anxiety and fear?'
But she couldn't simply show those doubts and fears. Equestria rested on her back and in her hooves, under her watch and care. She forced as much of a smile as she could. 'Maybe I'm overthinking this and worrying too much,' she thought. 'My friends would tell me that I am,' she knew. But not a one of them was there to tell her she was. They had all returned to Ponyville, leaving her in Canterlot on her own, aside from Spike, who was still running around somewhere.
She swallowed another knot, then looked at him and answered, "It's-" she broke eye contact and looked over the wall to her right, "-a lot to take in, and-" her eyes jumped back to Late Night and met his gaze, "-I don't think anypony really can be ready for this sort of thing."
"I think you'll do just fine, Princess," was his warm reassurance. He meant it.
She couldn't convince herself he was right.
She inhaled, licked her lips, and gave him a timid nod. "Thank you," she mumbled, then turned her gaze to the room beyond the open doors. Formerly Princess Celestia's chambers. Now, her own chambers. Her eyes jumped to the door's seal: a pink starburst with white rays coming out between the pink rays.
Not Celestia's cutie mark.
It made the door feel so alien to her, and the room beyond felt even more wrong. The dim dusk light was more than enough for her to see the room beyond: it had changed from what she was used to, but at the same time, so much remained the same. The wall on the right was lined with bookshelves broken only by a single door that led to her new bedroom, while the wall on the left was lined with pictures, broken by a familiar fireplace. In front of a fireplace were two plush red pillows sitting on a familiar blue rug. Straight across from the entrance was a door that led to the chamber's balcony.
The books on the shelves were familiar. Celestia had left them as a gift for her rather than keep them and take them with her. She had tried and tried to stop Celestia from doing that, but her mentor had none of it. Those books had been Celestia's, and Celestia having passed them onto her made her want to cry: she felt like she was stealing them, taking them away from her mentor. If the circumstances had been different, she would have been elated for Celestia to have given her so many books from her own collection. Now, it only served to reinforce that Celestia and Luna were gone.
Even if she could still stay in touch with them. 'I'm acting as if I'll never see them again,' came to mind, tugging her lips up into an empty smile that faded just as quickly as it came.
When the smile faded, she turned her gaze to the wall on the left. The pictures lining the otherwise barren wall made her inhale as her eyes glanced over them: pictures of her time as Princess Celestia's student when she was young, pictures that showed her growing up under Princess Celestia's mentorship, pictures of her friends and herself, all smiling as they gathered around in that familiar, traditional pose, pictures of her family, and a few pictures of Celestia and Luna, alone and together. 'So many wonderful memories...' whispered in her mind.
The room was supposed to be hers, now, but it didn't feel like it. It still felt like it belonged to Celestia instead. It felt like walking inside without Celestia being there was an insult to her; it just felt wrong, almost unthinkable.
'I'm being silly,' came to mind again, accompanied by the thought, 'My friends would tease me if they knew I was so intimidated by this room, especially after... everything...' A slight grimace tugged at her lips. She fluffed her wings at her sides, glanced at the two guards in turn, then reluctantly stepped into the room.
Once her tail was in past the door, she turned around and peered back out into the empty hallway. It really felt like Celestia and Luna were gone, now. Their presence was just gone and the castle felt empty for it, even with the Royal Guards and staff. They couldn't fill that void. She couldn't fill that void.
"Is there anything we can get for you, Princess?" Star Watch asked.
Her eyes flitted to him and her lips flicked into the barest hint of a smile. 'They care about me... it's more than just a job for them... and I barely know them.' "No, but thank you," she replied.
He bowed his head. "Enjoy the rest of your evening, Princess," he said as he lifted his head back up.
For a moment, his words repeated in her mind, 'Enjoy the rest of your evening,' and it was enough to make that small smile of hers disappear. The thought, 'My evening...' twisted her heart into a knot inside her chest. Her stomach fluttered uncomfortably, and her heart pounded in her chest. Her abdomen tightened as she forced out a breath.
Of course, with Celestia and Luna's retirement, the sun and moon fell to her. 'Poetically, they rise and fall to me...' she thought, and then came the even more uncomfortable thought, 'Like everypony else, now...' She forced back a wince, swallowed, and gave a hasty nod. "Um, thank you," she said, then turned away from them.
"Of course, Princess," Star Watch replied.
She glanced back as the door closed. Once it clicked shut, her ears flicked back, then pressed down on her ethereal mane. The feeling was so foreign and unnatural that her ears twitched away from the almost tickling sensation. Her wings fluttered at her sides and she turned around in a circle, surveying the room- her room- before facing the door, then circling again to face the door to the balcony.
For several seconds, she stood unmoving as she stared at it, then her eyes darted to the clock. 'Almost time to lower the sun and raise the moon...'
And oh, how that thought twisted in her chest, forcing her lungs to deflate!
The third time she would ever move the sun and moon on her own without Celestia or Luna there to help guide her. And nopony else would be there to tell her it would be okay, that she wouldn't completely mess up the first sunset and moonrise of her reign.
A sunset and moonrise that, undoubtedly, just about everypony in Equestria was going to watch.
"No pressure..." she grumbled.
But at least she had improved since the Lord Tirek fiasco. The last time she had moved the sun and moon hadn't been quite so splotchy and jerky.
She took a deep breath and lifted her right forehoof to touch her chest, only for her hoof to touch her regalia. Her eyes jolted down and landed on that pink starburst gem set in the center. 'At least I'm not panicking and hyperventilating...' was the only thought that made it more bearable.
She exhaled and lowered her forehoof back to the floor.
With trepidation, she walked towards the door, then lit her horn and pulled it open. She was greeted with the evening sky, just before it was time to start the sunset and raise the moon. Dim, but not painted with the rich reds, pinks, and oranges of the sunset. Dark, but not jeweled by Luna's- her- stars. Beyond the balcony, she saw the Equestrian heartland. Mountains and forests, rivers and towns. She could even see the fluffy clouds of Cloudsdale resting in the distance. She walked toward the railing, then stopped. Her ears twitched around, and she could still hear the distant, jubilant shouts of ponies still celebrating such a momentous occasion.
She squirmed where she stood as her eyes flicked from the Everfree forest and Ponyville to Canterlot. She could just barely make out specks and blurs of ponies out in the streets so far away, yet so close by. 'And ponies will be celebrating everywhere...'
Celebrating with that same faith the Royal Guards had in her.
Her eyes jumped back to Ponyville. "I wish you were all here..." she whispered into the evening air. As if in response to her soft voice, a gentle breeze blew by. She closed her eyes as the wind caressed her cheek and flowed through her ethereal mane, gently coaxing it to the other side of her neck.
The wind almost felt like a hug of some sorts; she could almost convince herself it was her friends, Celestia and Luna, or even the Tree of Harmony trying to comfort her, even if the thought was silly.
The breeze came to a stop, and her mane slowly wafted back into its prior position. She swallowed, opened her eyes, and licked her lips. She turned her head to the right, and her eyes fell on the sun as it hung there motionlessly. She looked at it, but it didn't burn her eyes nor blind her. It looked so peaceful and carefree, though at the same time, she felt like the sun was sad that Celestia was no longer its companion. There was a certain somberness with how the sun lit the world, or maybe it was her imagination.
She turned to face the sun. 'One of these days, all five of you will have to be here when I do this,' she affirmed. They had been there several times when she had been practicing for this moment, but it wasn't the same. It wouldn't be the same. This was her first time lowering the sun and raising the moon as Equestria's ruler. There would never be another first time, and her friends weren't there with her.
It bothered her enough to make her suck her lip in between her teeth and bite down just hard enough to hold her lip in place.
It was a silly expectation. They had spent most of the day with her, but now they were back in Ponyville. It was silly that they had left to return to Ponyville, but while they wanted to stay with her, they also wanted to return home- at least for the night. 'I wish I had asked you all to stay...'
'You'll all be back tomorrow.' The thought should have made her happy, but instead, it only brought a grimace to her lips. 'The back and forth between Ponyville and Canterlot isn't going to work...' Her friends would have to decide whether to stay in Ponyville or Canterlot. As much as she wanted them to stay with her, as much as they wanted to stay with her, she was sure not all of them wanted to just move to Canterlot. It felt like too much to ask them. As it was, everything they were being asked to do felt like too much. She felt like she was putting too much on them.
Her eyes dropped to the floor, her ears folded back, and she let out a soft sigh. She closed her eyes, sucked in a deep breath, then lifted her gaze back to the sky and held her head high. She was nearly afraid to watch, afraid to see how badly it would go, but she forced herself to watch on as her magic wrapped around the sun and moon. Just like every time before, the feeling was nearly overwhelming, almost enough to rip the air from her lungs, yet at the same time it brought a gentle peace to soothe her mind, body, and soul. Wielding that bit of Celestia and Luna's magic felt reassuring, yet at the same time, it mixed in with her magic in a way so different from the first time she had moved the sun and moon.
It was just a small part of their magic, now, rather than relying almost entirely on their magic. Now, that tiny bit of their magic mixed in with her own, and it was her own magic that coaxed the sun lower, painting that beautiful display of reds and pinks across the sky as the sun drifted lower and lower towards the horizon.
And Canterlot went silent as the sun started descending. She could nearly feel everypony staring and watching her magic work, she could nearly feel the awe in their eyes as they held their breath and kept still, refusing to do anything that would take away from her sunset.
She brought the sun lower, then added more magic to the spell to keep the sun on its course, and with that done, she let her magic go. As soon as her horn dimmed, she let out a breath then inhaled. She watched as the sun slowly sank lower and lower, mesmerized by the display. 'Nearly perfect...' came to mind. She hadn't messed up, she hadn't accidentally sent the sun flying below the horizon or flying further into the sky. It was almost like clockwork.
'I'm so proud of you, Twilight,' she could almost hear Celestia saying. She inhaled sharply, then sat down on her haunches.
The world was quiet as it watched her sunset. All was calm and peaceful. That breeze blew by again, almost as if it was trying to hug her and share the moment with her. She watched as seconds and then minutes passed while the sun sank lower below the horizon, making the sky grow dimmer and dimmer. 'It's... almost fitting,' whispered in her mind, 'that I start my reign lowering the sun, rather than raising it...'
It marked the end of Celestia and Luna's rule. 'I just hope there's not more symbolism to this than I think there is,' was a thought that made her wings flutter at her sides.
For a brief moment, that memory of the vision of Celestia and Luna turning into Daybreaker and Nightmare Moon because of her failure flashed through her eyes. 'No.' She stamped the memory out, lifting her hoof up and pressing it back to the floor.
Click.
The sun sank lower. She stood back up, then turned her head to the east. Once again lighting her horn, she grasped the moon, then gently coaxed it up along its course. Seconds passed on, and then in perfect unison and harmony, the sun disappeared and the moon rose just above the horizon. A transfer from the day to the night, just like Celestia and Luna had done together, and just like they had done with her.
She added more magic to the spell to ensure the moon would remain on its course, then let her horn dim.
No fanfare. No celebration. There was no ceremony nor was it a big deal. It was simple; it went off without a hitch. Not a public display, nor even a private display. Just something that fell on her to take care of.
Yet to everypony else, it was something incredible. The jubilant cries returned. Fireworks shot into the air and exploded. A trio of fireworks burst in quick succession, drawing her eyes to flittering sparkles that formed into Celestia and Luna's cutie mark slowly trickling back towards the ground, while her own starburst cutie mark lit up the sky and put the former rulers' cutie marks to shame.
Five more fireworks burst to life surrounding her own. The cutie marks of her friends, replacing the white starbursts surrounding her own cutie mark. It brought a smile to her lips that lasted until the last sparkles of the fireworks faded into the darkness.
She turned her gaze away from the sky and looked out across Equestria. Fireworks exploded in the air in the distance almost everywhere she looked, outshining the twinkling stars above. All of Equestria celebrated. Her chest tightened.
'One day, I'll have to do this in public,' drifted through her mind. But she'd have plenty of time to prepare for those moments. There were still months before the Winter Solstice, and then nearly a year before the Summer Sun Celebration.
It was plenty of time to perfect moving the sun and moon. Plenty of time to prepare herself for the traditional public displays.
Maybe.
More fireworks exploded in the air. She ignored them as she turned around, then shuffled back inside. When she shut the door and the light of her horn died, the room fell to pitch darkness. After a moment, she lit her horn again and turned on the magical lights, which then bathed the room in a subdued light like the evening she had ended: neither too bright for night, nor too dark to see. The fireworks went almost completely silent as she stood in the dimly lit room. She could still hear the faint pops and cracks, but it was nearly unnoticeable.
Ponies might expect her to stay out, or, at the very least, stay up much later to celebrate, but that wasn't to be. It had been a very arduous, long day for her: waking up well before sunrise, last-minute preparations for the ceremony, anxiety, and worries over the ceremony, even with her friends there by her side to help keep her calm. And then the partying and celebration, but mostly just the sheer weight of everything weighed her down.
Just like the tiara on her head, just like the regalia on her chest.
And tomorrow was going to be another big day. The start of the first full day of her reign. As she shuffled towards the door to her bedchambers, the thought, 'What problems am I going to have to deal with tomorrow?' plagued her mind. And those problems and decisions would fall squarely on her withers, as they had when Celestia and Luna had been ponynapped by the plundervines.
Sure, Celestia and Luna had been captured, the world was falling apart, and there was that fear that she would have to take their place, but tomorrow was going to be worse. She dreaded tomorrow, and that dread made her shoes drag against the marble as she nudged herself towards the bed. The bed Celestia had woke up in, but now, the bed she would go to sleep in.
Her stomach twirled around and her chest felt like a balloon was being blown up inside her as she lifted her forehoof and brought it closer to the bed. Each inch that passed made the swirling and churning in her stomach worse than the last, and her abdomen tightened until her lungs deflated.
Her forehoof lingered just an inch above the blankets. She couldn't bring herself to touch the covers. It was like the bed was Princess Celestia herself, and to touch the bed would wake her. Her forehoof drifted away from the bed, then landed on the floor. She turned her head to the side and slowly traced her tongue over her lips, even though her eyes lingered on the bed.
It was, arguably, a different bed from the one Celestia had used: everything had been replaced, from the mattress to the sheets, even the pillows. It was meant to be inviting and welcoming to her: blue bedsheets speckled with stars almost like Luna's mane, or more likely, her own mane, and the pillows were simply white. In a way, it reminded her of both Celestia and Luna, like they had meant for the bed to be some kind of reminder or comfort while she slept.
She couldn't decide if Rarity would throw a fit over the colors or not, although all of her friends would certainly throw a fit over her hesitance to climb into bed, given that her hesitance was from feeling like doing so would violate something, or that it was just wrong. They would see it as some kind of rejection.
They knew her. They would know it was because of doubt, fear, and anxiety.
But they weren't there.
'Maybe I should just... go to my old room,' whispered in her mind. The offer was almost seductive: to abandon the room that had been Celestia's in exchange for the room she had been given in the castle after her ascension. That room was more familiar and more welcoming, even if she had been in it less often than in Celestia's chambers. It didn't have the same feeling of wrongness associated with being inside it while she was alone that Celestia's chambers did.
'I could teleport there and nopony would ever have to know,' tempted her further. None of the guards nor castle staff would know she had teleported there. They wouldn't know that she was too scared to even take Celestia's chambers as her mentor had given her. They wouldn't know how she shied away from everything the room represented.
And they wouldn't know where to find her if something went wrong.
It was that last part that made her wince and kept her horn dim. Teleporting to her old room was tempting, but yet again, fear kept her from acting on it.
But she didn't have to stay in her chambers, either. If she wanted, she could leave, either accompanied by a Royal Guard escort or not. She was free to roam the castle if she wanted. She was free to go for a nighttime flight if she wanted, assuming she could avoid the fireworks. She could have left to return to the festivities, or even just stroll through the castle's gardens. None of it was appealing.
She backed away from the bed so slowly that she didn't realize she was until she felt the wall against her haunches. Her head whipped around and when her eyes landed on the wall, she winced. Realizing it wasn't something about to get her, she rolled her head back to stare at the bed.
Her bed, but not her bed.
Wince still in place, she turned her gaze back through the door to the study. A few seconds passed before she managed to turn and shuffle her way back into the study. She came to a stop in the center of the room and slowly turned about in another circle. Her eyes drifted over the pictures again, then glossed over as they flowed over the spines of the books: some had titles and others did not, but she couldn't read the titles in the dim light.
Any other time, she would have jumped on the opportunity to look through the books and read them. Not now.
Now, she completed the circle and faced the fireplace. A few more shuffling steps brought her to the rug, and she nearly tripped over it. She sat down on the cushion on the right. Her head turned left and her gaze fell on the second cushion. She could almost see Princess Celestia sitting there, looking down at her with a warm smile.
Or rather, she could see Princess Celestia looking at her, eye to eye. She didn't have to look up to meet her gaze now.
Having to look down to see everypony was going to take her a while to get used to. Being so tall that everypony would see her in a crowd was also unfamiliar. She didn't fully welcome it, either. She was still a pony, just like those ponies who now looked at her like she was something more than them.
She looked back at the empty fireplace and found herself fidgeting and squirming on the pillow. Whenever she thought she was comfortable, something would come to mind and break the comfort, making her move in an attempt to distract herself. As soon as she was distracted and comfortable again, another rogue thought flashed through her mind, bringing with it renewed worries.
Seconds faded to minutes. The popping and cracking of fireworks gradually fizzled out. She stood from her pillow, turned to the left and dropped her gaze onto the floor, then started pacing. At first, she paced back and forth with slow, almost graceful steps. If other ponies had been there to see, they would have said she looked calm, even with the storm raging in her mind.
The graceful steps broke into more rigid jerks as more minutes passed. Rather than pacing back and forth, she gradually meandered into a circle. Her wings bristled at her sides while she nibbled on her lip and paced. The clicking of her shoes on the floor was silenced only as she strode across the rug in her circling, and with each passing circle, her thoughts came quicker and quicker. Her abdomen tightened with each thought and each loop, and likewise, her stomach churned with worries.
And ponies expected her to rest peacefully. Ponies expected so much of her. So very much that she knew she couldn't do. She could move the sun and moon, but she couldn't replace Celestia and Luna. She could protect Equestria from dangers, but she couldn't necessarily stop those dangers from happening. She could reassure them, but she couldn't reassure herself.
Minutes passed into hours, and with each step, her body trembled with a jittery, anxious energy. She felt like she was going to explode or collapse, if not both. Her wings shook at her sides, even with her pressing them tight to her body. A whimper accompanied every completed circle, and accompanying the whimper was her ears pressing down on her ethereal mane. Her breaths were forced and rigid. If she didn't control her breathing, she would hyperventilate. If she hyperventilated, she would break down.
Tomorrow was going to be a big day for her, for all of her friends, and for all of Equestria.
She wasn't ready. She wasn't prepared to face it. She wasn't going to be ready no matter how much time she had. And she most certainly wasn't going to get any sleep, which meant she was going to be even less ready for tomorrow. She was going to fail, make all sorts of mistakes, and disappoint everypony. And it would only be her first full day of her reign.
She missed her friends. If they had been there, they could have just told her she was overreacting. It would have helped to hear them say that. She needed to hear it, but there was nopony there for her. The Royal Guards, if she asked them, would tell her she was worrying too much, but it wasn't the same as hearing it from her friends. Spike might have been out celebrating still, or, as she hoped, asleep, and she didn't want to wake him.
'Ooohhh, why couldn't you have spent the night in Canterlot?' her mind pleaded, and in response, she bit down on her lip harder. Glancing at the clock, she let go of her lip and stopped pacing. 'It's already the middle of the night!' her mind hissed, bringing with it a renewed wave of anxiety crashing over her body. She jogged in place and looked at the bookshelves, then at the pictures, but nothing calmed her, nothing told her it would be okay, and nothing eased any of those worries.
'It doesn't technically have to be the middle of the night,' came another temptation. 'Since I move the sun and moon now, I can make the night last... a few days longer than normal,' she reasoned. 'Nopony would even notice, right!?'
The thought made her smile, but all she could voice was, "Please help me..."
There was nopony there to answer.
The smile cracked. She stopped jogging in place and fluffed her wings at her sides. She needed to be well-rested for tomorrow! And she most certainly wasn't! And it was just a cycle that kept feeding on itself, making it worse and worse. She let out a pained whimper.
It sounded like there was a knock on the balcony door, and that sound broke the cycle. She went quiet as her ears perked up to listen again. For a few seconds, she held her breath, then the sound came again: a trio of impatient knocks.
She bit her lip. Nopony was supposed to be out there. Most pegasi would have never landed on that balcony. It was nearly unthinkable. Timidly, she shuffled across the rug, then hastily darted across the marble floor. Stopping before the door, she opened it with her magic.
"Hey, Twilight," Rainbow Dash greeted.
Bewildered by the sight of Rainbow casually hovering just above the balcony with her forelegs folded over her chest, all Twilight could respond with was a, "Buh? What?" Rainbow frowned. Twilight shook her head. "I mean, what are you doing here? I thought you were back in Ponyville."
Landing, Rainbow answered, "I was! But then I noticed that I couldn't find you sleeping and dreaming, so... I flew back here to check on you."
"Oh, right," she muttered, wincing. Reluctantly, she turned her head to the right and stared at the door to her bedchambers. "Ah... come in?" she mumbled, stepping to the right.
Rainbow casually flew inside and rolled her head about, taking in the room. The pegasus hadn't been in this room but maybe twice before. Her gaze traced over the bookshelves, pretty much entirely ignoring it all and spacing out, then her head turned to the right, and a smile grew on her lips as she looked over the pictures on the wall.
She waited a moment, peeked back outside, then closed the door. "How does that work, anyway?" she asked.
Rainbow's head snapped back to her. "Huh? Oh! Right, the dream thing?" She nodded. Rainbow grinned, then the grin faded into a wince. "I uh, don't know. It just sort of does. Luna wasn't very good at explaining it." The wince faded as Rainbow landed. "And I've noticed that I can control my own dreams since. It's pretty awesome, but, a bit disorientating at times." Then, jumping back into the air, she pointed her hooves at Twilight and declared, "But enough about me! You're the one who's not sleeping!"
Twilight fluffed her wings and shifted her weight on her hooves. "Um, yes. But... why did you fly all the way from Ponyville-"
Rolling her eyes and leaning her head back, Rainbow scoffed, "My friend's not sleeping, duh!" Then rolling her head back into place to give Twilight a flat look, she drawled, "It's kiiiiiinda my thing, now."
Twilight gave a sheepish half-smile. "Gee, how could I forget?"
Rainbow smiled and snickered as she landed. Then, she stepped closer as the smile faded again. "Seriously though, what's wrong? I figured you'd be asleep by now, and I know,-" she jabbed her hoof out, poking Twilight in the chest just below her regalia, "-that you've not been out partying this whole time." Putting her hoof back on the floor, she continued, "So, what's up?"
"You flew all the way from Ponyville for me?" Twilight asked.
"Yeah," Rainbow answered. "You act surprised! How many times now is it I've said I'm not gonna leave my friends hanging?"
Sheepishly, Twilight turned her head to the left and dropped her gaze to the floor. "Sorry, I just..."
More quietly, Rainbow replied, "It's fine. Come on! Stop stalling. What's wrong?"
Inhaling deeply, Twilight closed her eyes and then swallowed. The thought of telling Rainbow exactly what was wrong made her wince. Her friend- no, all of them- would be disappointed in her if she told them. They'd tell her she was being silly and worrying too much.
Rainbow brushed up against her side and wrapped her wing around her body. The tips of Rainbow's feathers just barely managed to brush up against her left wing, and the unexpected warmth caught her off-guard, making her squeak as her ears pressed back and her head whipped around to face Rainbow's, only to find Rainbow already looking up at her with a brash, eager smile. It gave her pause for a few seconds as she stared into Rainbow's warm, magenta eyes while they looked back into her.
Then, breaking the moment, Rainbow declared, "Come on, you can tell me anything!" Then, she added, "It's kinda my job now, you know," with a light chuckle.
She scoffed and rolled her head back to the left. "Sure, just because Princess Luna gave you the whole dreamwalking thing doesn't mean you have to help everypony with their waking problems!"
"Eh, it kinda does," Rainbow countered, pulling Twilight closer to give her a hug. After a second passed, she slid her wing back across Twilight's back and folded it to her side. For the slightest moment as Rainbow's wing brushed over her back, Twilight closed her eyes and smiled, then when the wing was gone, she opened her eyes and her lips twitched down. Without noticing it, Rainbow added, "Especially when it's my friend, and whatever it is, is keeping her awake."
Twilight kept silent. She could almost feel Rainbow's smile fading as the silence lingered and her heart twisted in unease and anxiety.
"Should I have brought the rest of the girls? I thought about it, but I figured it'd just take longer to get here," Rainbow said.
Twilight turned back to face Rainbow and shook her head. "No, it's fine. I'm..." she trailed off and bit her lip while her head drifted back away from Rainbow. Releasing her lip, she managed to mumble, "I'm glad you came." She faced Rainbow again, then voiced, "Albeit surprised. I thought you were going to stay in Ponyville tonight."
Rainbow winced, leaned away from her, and reached her right forehoof up to rub her mane. Giving an awkward chuckle, she said, "Uh, yeah. Well, I kinda realize that might have been a mistake now, since, you know, we sort of left you here alone. Well, other than Spike."
"It's fine," Twilight lied.
For a few seconds, they just watched each other, both of them waiting for the other to say something. Eventually, Rainbow inhaled, looked away, took a few steps forward, then stopped and turned back to face her. "So, uh... what's on your mind?"
Biting her lip, Twilight turned back around, then timidly walked back to the balcony door. She heard Rainbow beat her wings, then fly over towards her. She opened the door with her magic, then walked out onto the balcony. Rainbow landed beside her. In the silence, she could still hear ponies celebrating. Watching the night sky, she could still see the rare, distant firework explode. Her ears folded back.
"You did a good job with the sunset," Rainbow complimented.
Her head twitched to the left and her lips lifted up into a faint smile. "Thanks."
Looking back at her, Rainbow commented, "It's true." Then Rainbow's gaze went back to the night sky. "It was awesome watching you practice moving the sun and moon, Twi." Turning to face her, that brash smile returned. "Knowing it was you moving both of them? That was really awesome!"
Twilight's smile grew more genuine. "It's nothing, really."
Rainbow snickered as her smile grew warmer. "Exactly! It was nothing to you! It took Celestia and Luna both to handle the sun and moon-"
"Technically," Twilight put in, "Celestia raised the sun and moon both in Luna's absence."
Rainbow snorted and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, sure, but you know what I mean. You're taking over for both of them!"
Twilight's smile disappeared. She inhaled and turned her gaze back out onto the night sky. "Yeah..." she mumbled.
For a few seconds, silence reigned supreme. A gentle breeze blew over her coat, bringing with it the slight chill of the night.
"So..." Rainbow ventured, her voice cracking slightly, "is that what's bothering you?"
Twilight winced and reluctantly faced Rainbow, then gave a timid nod.
Rainbow inhaled deeply, then let out a sigh. "I thought you were over that."
Fluffing her wings, Twilight looked away. "Well, it's- it's easy when you're all around-"
"But hard when we're not?" was Rainbow's question.
Twilight gave another timid nod. "Yeah..." she whispered.
"You know you're not doing this on your own, right? You don't need to act like everything is being put on you," Rainbow offered in a soft voice that barely carried over to Twilight above the breeze.
"It..." Twilight trailed off, bobbing her head side to side as her lips pulled into a flat line. She looked back at Rainbow before admitting, "Feels like it is." Before Rainbow could say anything, she turned to face her and added, "I know you're all going to be there to help me, but-"
"You're you, and you're an alicorn, right?" Rainbow voiced.
Twilight cringed. "I wouldn't-"
Rainbow beat her wings, then hovered in the air so they were eye to eye. "Come on, I know that's been bothering you for a little while, at least. You feel like you're Equestria's alicorn right? Now that Celestia and Luna are gone?"
Twilight lowered her head, stared at the floor and mumbled, "A little..." Her head snapped back up. "What if- what if I mess up, Rainbow?"
Without any hesitation, as if she had expected it, Rainbow countered, "We'll be there for you. We'll be there to pick you up if you fall down, Twi. I promise!"
It helped, but still. "I could fail."
"We're here for you," Rainbow countered again.
"What if you're not?" Twilight asked. Rainbow's smile cracked. "You can't all be here every hour of every day."
Rainbow's wingbeats slowed until her hooves touched the floor. "Yeah... I guess," was her reluctant admission. "But we'll still be there!"
"But not all the time, and that's.... that's what gets to me," was Twilight's response. "That and... I don't feel like I can replace Celestia and Luna, and oh, there's so much that can go wrong, even with all of you by my side, and you won't always be there by my side and-" Rainbow's hoof touched her lips, silencing her.
For a few seconds, Rainbow kept her hoof there, then lowered it. "Stop worrying so much, Twi. You know we're awesome!"
A wry smile crossed Twilight's lips. "Yes, but-"
Rainbow snorted and hovered back into the air. "Yeah, sure. We're not awesome enough to rule Equestria," was her dismissal. Rainbow met her gaze. "Twilight, you need to stop worrying. Celestia and Luna have faith in you. All of us have faith in you. And so does everypony else!" Landing, Rainbow softly added, "You'll do fine. Tomorrow will be fine."
Twilight bit her lip and turned away from Rainbow. There was no way for Rainbow to be sure about that! But then, Rainbow was still willing to tell her it would be okay, even if she didn't know for sure. Maybe it had been the same way with Princess Celestia. Her chest twisted in unease.
"Hey, at least you're not doing that paper bag thing again, so I'd say you're doing just fine!" Rainbow voiced.
Twilight's eyes snapped back onto Rainbow with a scowl. "I don't do that very often!" she defended.
"Yeah," Rainbow agreed, rolling her eyes, "but when you do, you're really freaking out over something. Actually, I don't think you've done that over anything except... well, yeah."
Twilight huffed. "It's a big deal."
"And you'll do fine!" Rainbow declared.
"That doesn't make me feel any less anxious," Twilight stated flatly.
Rainbow sighed. "I should have brought the rest of the girls," she said to herself. "But they'll be here tomorrow." Rainbow jabbed Twilight in the chest before adding, "And I'm telling them about this."
Twilight flinched back at that. "Please don't."
"No, I think you need to be reminded that we're not just gonna abandon you or anything," Rainbow stated.
Wearing a wince, Twilight asked, "I don't suppose I can talk you out of that?"
Emphatically, Rainbow stated, "Nope."
Twilight sighed. Her wings twitched down.
"Don't put it all on yourself, okay?" Rainbow commented. "I may not have any idea on how to run a kingdom, but, uh, I can help?"
Twilight squinted at Rainbow. The mere thought of Rainbow trying to run any kingdom at all was unthinkable! She could picture the end result, and it was horrifying! Still nowhere near as bad as the thought of Pinkie Pie running a country. That thought was terrifying. Nothing would ever get done. Or maybe she wasn't giving either of them enough credit.
"Celestia and Luna did say we'd be able to help you," Rainbow pointed out.
Sighing in defeat, Twilight nodded. "You're right, but I just feel like..." she trailed off and turned back to face the balcony railing. She propped her chest up on the railing and let her forehooves dangle over the edge. After a moment, Rainbow joined her. She looked out across Canterlot, then out across Equestria. Her gaze flickered to the starry sky, then gradually fell back down to look across Equestria. To look across the kingdom thrust onto her back. Her kingdom. The unease grew worse. She gently pressed her teeth down on her lip.
"It's kind of a nice night for this," Rainbow commented softly.
Twilight turned to look at Rainbow. The pegasus stared out across Equestria like she had, but without any of the worries or doubts plaguing her mind. After a few seconds to mull it over, she answered, "I guess so."
"It was nice flying here," Rainbow added. "Although it was a bit of a flight."
Twilight smiled. "Yeah, but you can do that sort of thing. The rest of the girls can't."
"Yeah..." Rainbow mused. "I guess we probably should have stayed after the ceremony and everything."
Twilight turned her head back to face Ponyville and said, "I don't blame you all for wanting to go back to Ponyville."
"Yeah but it's kinda silly, isn't it?" Rainbow asked.
Glancing aside at the pegasus, she found her friend wincing. "A bit..." she mumbled.
Rainbow's wince turned into a smirk. "Just like you worrying over this."
Twilight rolled her eyes. "I'm ruling all of Equestria now, so you'll have to forgive me for freaking out."
"You kiiiiinda did before," Rainbow drawled.
Twilight huffed. "Not really. When Princess Celestia and Princess Luna were captured by plundervines doesn't count. I literally did nothing ruling wise!"
"You did say you had the guards keep looking for them-"
"That was literally all I did!" Twilight retorted.
"Okay, okay, sheesh, I get it. You're really tense right now, aren't you?" Rainbow grumbled.
Twilight sighed. "Sorry."
"You have a lot on your mind," Rainbow offered.
"I do," Twilight agreed.
"Maybe you should stop thinking about it all? That's probably why you can't sleep," Rainbow stated.
Twilight rolled her head to the right. Her ears pinned back against her flowing mane and her head fell a few inches. She let out a frustrated huff, then muttered, "That and I can't get myself to climb into bed..."
"What? Why not?" Rainbow asked.
Reluctantly, she looked at Rainbow. "It doesn't feel like my bed," she answered. "It still feels like Celestia's and... and I'm just uncomfortable with... with all of this. It's not... me." She pushed herself away from the railing, then shuffled back inside. "I'm not comfortable with all of this. I'm not ready for all of this. I'm scared. I can't possibly replace both Celestia and Luna! And it's just... not me. Not who I am!" With that said, she stopped, once more standing on the rug. Rainbow came to a stop beside her, so she turned to face her. She glanced down at her regalia, then at her flowing ethereal mane, then met Rainbow's gaze again. "And everypony looks at me differently. It's worse than... when I ascended and was coronated."
"Well, yeah..." Rainbow agreed.
Sighing, Twilight's wings dropped from her sides and her feathers brushed against the floor. She hung her head low in shame and stared down at the golden shoes she wore. "I-"
"You look beautiful," Rainbow interjected. "Did I mention that? I don't think I did. But you look really awesome and beautiful now!" Her eyes snapped onto Rainbow, who smiled at her a bit awkwardly. "You look a bit more like Luna than Celestia, but- it's awesome. You're awesome. The ethereal mane thing, and... uh, you're... taller."
"Thank you?" Twilight squeaked, not sure how else to respond or even how to take that compliment. From Rarity, she had expected it when it happened. Pinkie Pie had been exuberant. Fluttershy calmly complimented her. Applejack didn't have much to say. Rainbow hadn't said anything before, though she had smiled brashly. In a way, Rainbow's response had reminded her of when she ascended and Rainbow had been so excited over having a new flying buddy.
Rainbow winced, fidgeted on her hooves, then rubbed the back of her mane. "Too much?" she grumbled.
"It's... fine, I'm just... surprised," Twilight admitted. Her mind still lingered on what else Rainbow had said besides awesome. "Beautiful?" she asked.
Almost nervously and without meeting her gaze, Rainbow said, "Well, yeah!"
Twilight continued to watch Rainbow squirm and refuse to meet her gaze. She swallowed, then said, "Thank you."
For a brief instant, Rainbow looked up and met her gaze, then her eyes went back to jumping around the room, refusing to linger anywhere for more than a second. Then, as if to move on as quickly as possible, Rainbow met her gaze and hastily ran out, "Hey, uh, do you think going for a flight might help you unwind?"
Twilight smiled a bit. "I don't know. It might. Well, it probably would, but... You already flew all the way from Ponyville and-"
"I don't mind going flying again if you want! Uh, if you don't mind my company, that is," Rainbow cut in.
Twilight's smile grew more. "I'd like that," she answered. "When you're not trying to kill me from racing it's nice to just fly with you," she said, drawing a scoff from the pegasus. She bobbed her head, then added, "Or Fluttershy."
"Fluttershy doesn't really fly a whole lot..." Rainbow mumbled.
"Yeah," Twilight agreed with a chuckle. "I guess that's why I've flown with you more, then?"
Shrugging as she turned towards the balcony, Rainbow replied, "Probably." Rainbow walked to the door, then back out onto the balcony, followed by Twilight. Once on the balcony, Rainbow looked back and asked, "Uh, you're not going to get in trouble for going for a flight, right?"
Twilight gave a wry smile. "It'll probably be fine... We won't be going far, right?"
"Yeah," Rainbow answered.
Twilight gave a nod. Rainbow flapped her wings and hovered into the air, and then Twilight unfurled her wings and joined her. For a moment, the two of them hovered just above the balcony, then Rainbow flew higher into the air. Twilight flapped her wings and followed.
For a while, they flew higher up into the sky in silence. They flew far above the fireworks and the few clouds dotting the sky. When they leveled out, Twilight found herself hovering in place, looking down at Equestria so far below, then gazing up at the stars and moon, forever out of physical reach, yet within her magical grasp.
Rainbow slowed, then turned around when she noticed Twilight had stopped. "Hey?" she called back.
Twilight blinked, then looked back at Rainbow. "Oh, sorry," she apologized. She slowly flew over towards Rainbow and mumbled, "Just... thinking."
"About what?" Rainbow asked. "This is supposed to help you stop worrying!"
Twilight bobbed her head side to side as she flew past Rainbow. Rainbow turned and followed her, flying up beside her and watching the alicorn. "Just... moving the sun and moon..." she answered. She turned her head to the left and watched Rainbow for a moment before glancing up at the stars and adding, "And flying after doing that." She met Rainbow's gaze again and said, "It's... it just feels different. Surreal, I guess."
Rainbow rolled her eyes and grinned. "I think the word you're looking for is awesome, Twi," was her retort.
Twilight snorted, rolled her eyes, then shook her head and looked away. "I wouldn't say it feels awesome, it's just..." she trailed off as she looked down at Canterlot, then the rolling plains between Canterlot and Ponyville. "It's different. It's... hard to believe I'm not dreaming."
That drew a laugh from Rainbow. "Yeah, well, I promise you're not. If you were, I'd know and I'd tell you," Rainbow answered.
Twilight looked aside at Rainbow with a half-smile. "Thanks."
"No problem!" Rainbow replied.
Twilight felt her worries and anxieties gradually subsiding as they flew on. The brisk night air flowing past her was pleasant, chilling her fur just enough to help her relax. She let out a soft sigh, then looked back at Rainbow. "I never imagined anything like this would happen," she voiced. "At all."
"Well, it kinda makes sense, doesn't it? Given that, you know, you were Celestia's student and we all wield the Elements of Harmony?" Rainbow asked.
"Not just that," Twilight answered as she faced Rainbow again. She inhaled deeply, then let her lungs deflate. Glancing back at her left wing, she said, "I never expected to fly like this. I never expected to have wings." She faced Rainbow and continued, "I never expected my ascension. I never expected to make friends like all of you. I never expected to move to Ponyville. I never expected... well, anything that we faced together." She paused for a moment, winced, then looked away from Rainbow before saying, "And I never expected this. Celestia and Luna retiring and... them putting ruling Equestria on... us."
"You still feel like they put most of it on you?" Rainbow asked quietly. Twilight hesitated, then nodded. "You really should stop worrying so much about it, Twi," Rainbow continued. "Between how awesome we are and Discord? Psh, yeah, we got this."
A bit of a smile crossed back onto Twilight's lips. "I guess-"
"No guessing!" Rainbow shouted. "We've definitely got this," was her reassurance.
Twilight looked at Rainbow and found her smiling that bold, eager smile. It made the smile on her own lips grow. "Yeah... I- you're right," she said with a nod. The smile wavered, then slipped away. "But now I have to worry about everypony else. All of Equestria... they all count on me..."
"Us," Rainbow clarified.
"They don't look at the rest of you the same way they look at me," Twilight whispered.
For a few seconds, Rainbow was silent, then she voiced a soft, "Well, yeah. You're... you."
Sighing, Twilight looked around until she spotted a cloud off to her right. She banked towards it, then glided down and landed on it. Years ago, she would have crashed into or through the cloud, but now, she landed on it like it was second nature. And years before that, she would have fallen right through it. She sat down and stared off at Ponyville in the distance.
It was peaceful. Fireworks no longer broke the stillness of the night. The stars were silent as they shined down. The moon slowly rose in its arc through the sky. The worries and doubts were still there, but sitting there in the silence as she watched over Equestria, she felt like it would be a little better.
Rainbow landed beside her, then sat down at Twilight's side. Reluctantly, she scooted herself closer to Twilight until their bodies touched. Twilight glanced back at her, then went back to watching the sky. For a few seconds, they sat there together. Rainbow leaned away from Twilight, then unfolded her right wing and leaned back against the alicorn as she wrapped her wing around Twilight's back, giving her a hug. "Stop putting it all on yourself." Wincing, Twilight turned to look down at Rainbow, who met her gaze. "I don't think anypony expects you to be perfect. We've all made mistakes. None of us are perfect! But we're going to be doing this together, and we're trying, and as Discord would say-"
"That's what matters," Twilight mumbled as she turned her head back around. She inhaled deeply and caught the faint scent of a spring rain shower, then exhaled and let out a sigh as her body slumped forward.
"And we'll learn," Rainbow added. "Not that I think we need to learn much more, since, you know... the past few years and everything."
Twilight looked back at Rainbow with a wry smile. "I'm still not ready for this." Looking away from Rainbow, she added. "And I'm not ready for tomorrow." Sitting back up, she shook her head. "Sorry, Rainbow, but I don't think this is helping much." She faced Rainbow, then continued, "Maybe I'm not worrying so much, but I'm not asleep, so now I'm starting to panic about not sleeping tonight meaning that I'm going to be tired tomorrow and since tomorrow is-"
Rainbow lifted her hoof and once again touched it to Twilight's lips to silence her. "Stop thinking like that. It won't help any. Tomorrow will be fine, alright?" After a few seconds, she lowered her forehoof. "Maybe you won't get any sleep, but it'll still be fine, okay? We'll be there to help you," she said softly.
Twilight gave a reluctant nod. "You're right... but, oh, I'm still-"
Rainbow huffed and tapped her forehoof against Twilight's side. "I said stop that! It's not helping any!"
Twilight winced and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry."
Rainbow stood up, folded her wing, and turned to face her. She fidgeted in place on the cloud and hastily voiced, "Well, maybe I should stay here in Canterlot with you tonight? Then you wouldn't be alone and- and maybe you'd sleep better because of me?"
"Of course!" Twilight agreed, standing up as well. "I'm not going to just send you back to Ponyville since you already flew here- uh, if you want to stay, of course."
Rainbow snorted and rolled her eyes. "Well, yeah. I'd rather stay."
Twilight nodded, then turned back around and spread her wings. "I'm sure there's a room that-"
Rainbow fidgeted and fluffed her wings before cutting in with, "Uh, I meant with you..."
Twilight's wings twitched back down. She faced Rainbow and watched the pegasus squirm. "With me?"
Avoiding Twilight's gaze, Rainbow quickly said, "Well, yeah! That way, uh, I'll be there and-"
"Um, as in, together?" Twilight hastily asked.
Rainbow gave a quick nod and quietly said, "Yeah." She tried to fight back a blush, but her cheeks still felt an uncomfortable warmth in her cheeks. She looked at Twilight, fluffed her wings, and said, "Maybe that'll help you relax and sleep?"
Twilight found herself staring into Rainbow's eyes. After a few seconds, she realized she was timidly nodding. She swallowed, then licked her lips. "Maybe..." she ventured.
Rainbow rubbed the back of her mane, forced a laugh, then said, "Well, I mean... might as well try, right?"
Twilight nodded in agreement. "I guess you're right..."
For a few seconds, both of them stood on the cloud, watching each other without moving.
"So, um, should we head back or- or do you want to keep flying for a while?" Rainbow asked.
Twilight winced and broke eye contact. "Right, we should head back I guess." She lifted her wings back up, then flapped down and lifted herself into the air. After a moment of hesitation, Rainbow flew up beside her.
"Uh, do you mind if I visit your dreams when we're sleeping?" Rainbow asked.
Smiling, Twilight answered, "Of course not!"
Rainbow grinned, then gradually flew ahead of her. "I'd race you, buuuut since it's as late as it is, it's probably not a good idea."
Twilight gave a soft laugh. "Yeah... I don't feel like racing either." She looked back at the castle below- her castle- and hummed to herself as they glided towards it. The cool night air felt wonderful against her body, contrasting with the happy warmth filling her body. By the time they landed, she was smiling. 'Maybe it will be okay...'
Twilight watched Rainbow walk inside, stop, then turn back to watch her. She hesitated for a moment, then walked inside and closed the door behind her with her magic. "Um, do you really think this will help me sleep?" she asked. "It's worth a try but-"
"Well, yeah!" Rainbow replied, turning to face her. "I may not be an alicorn princess like you, but Luna did give me a lot of her magic. I sleep like a filly anymore! And I bet that it'll help you too just from my being there."
Twilight gave a slow nod and fluffed her wings at her side. "Alright..." she mumbled. She inhaled, then walked on through the doorway to her bedchambers. She slowed to a stop a healthy distance away from the bed and stared at it. She heard Rainbow's hooves click against the floor as she walked inside, then walked past her towards the bed. Flicking her gaze to the pegasus, she saw that unlike herself, there was none of that anxiety or dread haunting her. Rainbow wasn't intimidated by the bed, and as if to prove that, Rainbow set her hoof on the covers, propped herself up on the bed, then climbed up on top of it, turned around to face her, and then sat down.
Rainbow looked over the bed, nodding to herself. "This is nice." Looking back at Twilight, she asked, "So, you coming or what?"
Twilight blinked, then leaned left and gradually shuffled closer to the bed. She held her breath as she came to a stop and lifted a forehoof. But like before, she couldn't bring herself to touch the bed. Her lips twisted in a wince and her ears fell back. Eventually, she turned to the right and faced the wall to avoid Rainbow's gave while she lowered her forehoof back to the floor. "I can't..." she muttered.
"What? Why not!?" Rainbow demanded.
She turned to face Rainbow and said, "It feels wrong."
Rainbow tossed her head to the side and rolled her eyes. "Come on, Twi. It'll be fine!" Rainbow rolled her head back to face Twilight, then met her gaze before saying, "I'll be right here with you all night! I promise."
Twilight nibbled on her lip. "You promise?"
Rainbow fell forward and laid on the bed on her stomach. "Of course!" she agreed. "Like I said. I'll never leave my friends hanging," she added softly.
Twilight closed her eyes, nodded timidly, then inhaled. "Okay..." she mumbled softly. She opened her eyes and flicked her gaze down onto the bed. 'Just... climb on!' she told herself. Reluctantly, she lifted her forehoof and brought it closer to the bed.
"The bed's really nice, too," Rainbow commented.
Twilight's gaze flicked to Rainbow before dropping to the sheets below her forehoof. "I bet it is, but-"
Rainbow pushed herself up into a sitting position, then folded her forehooves over her chest. "No buts!" she declared. "Now get in bed, Twi! Don't make me have to pick you up and throw you onto the bed!"
Twilight looked at Rainbow and raised an eyebrow.
"...because I probably couldn't do that now," Rainbow muttered, cracking a forced half-smile while she rubbed the back of her mane with a forehoof.
"What exactly does that mean?" Twilight asked.
Rainbow groaned, flailed her forehooves into the air and fell backward. Her body bounced lightly as it landed on the bed. "Your height and everything." She rolled onto her side and scooted up so her head was on a pillow. "Seriously. Just get in bed, Twilight. The quicker you do, the sooner we can get to sleep, okay?"
Twilight bit her lip again. The thought, 'I'm keeping her awake,' berated her. "Sorry..." she apologized. She closed her eyes, then forced her forehoof down. Anxiety spiked in her chest, then as her hoof touched the bed, gradually disappeared. Tentatively, she opened her eyes and looked around.
Nothing bad had happened. Rainbow still laid on the bed facing her, watching her, waiting on her.
'I'm being silly...' came to mind again. She pushed the thought aside, then pushed herself up and gradually climbed onto the bed.
Rainbow rolled onto her back and grinned up at her. "See! It's fine."
Twilight gave Rainbow a wry smile. "Yeah, I guess-"
"No guessing," Rainbow retorted.
Twilight sighed, then yawned. She shook the yawn away, then crept over beside Rainbow and sat down. Using her magic, she pulled the covers out from under Rainbow, and Rainbow slipped under them, wiggling her body side to side to get comfortable. She smiled a bit and stood as she pulled the blankets under her hooves so she didn't fall, then she laid down and rolled onto her back and pulled the blankets back over the two of them.
She stared up at the ceiling, feeling the cold bed and blankets hugging her warm body. It was a bit uncomfortable, but not entirely uncomfortable. The contrast was slightly pleasant, and the bed itself was nice. Soft but firm, nearly perfect to the point that she wondered if it was enchanted. Her thoughts were interrupted, however, when Rainbow shifted, then scooted closer to her until the pegasus's body was right there against her own, pressed up against her. Her stomach churned nervously and her body felt warmer, to say nothing of Rainbow's blissful warmth and wonderfully soft coat against her own. She felt a wave of peace, calm, and tiredness flow over her body. She let out a sigh and turned her head to face the smaller pony.
"Uh, this okay?" Rainbow hesitantly asked. "You're not, uh, uncomfortable that I'm-"
Twilight nodded. "It's nice," she admitted.
Rainbow grinned. "Great! If you need anything else just let me know okay?"
Twilight nodded again, this time nuzzling Rainbow in the process. The feeling of her fur brushing up against Rainbow's fur left her feeling a giddy bubbliness in her chest that made her want to prance around the room or squirm beneath the covers.
Rainbow returned the nuzzle, chuckling a bit. After a bit, they stopped and looked at each other. "Sweet dreams, Twi... I promise they'll be good ones!"
Smiling, Twilight said, "Thank you... I look forward to it! We'll be able to... hang out in them, right?"
"Of course!" Rainbow answered. "And I'll, uh, try to tell you about the whole dreamwalking things. Luna said you should be able to learn how to do this too."
Twilight's eyes lit up in excitement and she let out a happy squee. "Oh, thank you thankyou thankyou!" She rolled over so her belly was to Rainbow, then wrapped her forelegs around Rainbow's body and hugged her. Rainbow squirmed in her grip and rolled over to face her and wrapped her forelegs, hind legs, and wings around Twilight's body. It brought the two of them belly to belly, face to face, with their muzzles just barely not touching.
They found themselves looking into each other's eyes as they laid there. Rainbow eventually broke eye contact and shifted her weight. "Um, I uh, could you maybe... hold me with your wings? And hind legs? Like I am?" she blabbered out.
Twilight giggled softly. "Sure..." she whispered. She slid her left hind leg under Rainbow's body and brought her right hind leg over Rainbow's back. She folded them together and pulled Rainbow close to her so that their abdomens were gently pressed together, and the feeling sent shivers down her spine. "You're softer than I realized," she commented.
"Uh, thanks? I think?" Rainbow asked. "Uh, you're... nice too. But I'm not really surprised since you're a princess and an alicorn and- and all of that stuff..."
Twilight giggled again, then slid her wings around Rainbow's body. She felt Rainbow shiver at the touch of her feathers sliding through her fur, and she, in turn, shivered as she felt Rainbow's soft fur part around the tips of her feathers.
Rainbow leaned in and nosed at Twilight's neck, making the alicorn giggle, then she followed it up with a nuzzle. Twilight let out a sigh and bent her head down, pushing her muzzle into Rainbow's mane. Inhaling, Twilight smelled the pleasant, calming scent following a spring shower. Rainbow brushed her muzzle up the side of Twilight's neck and stopped there where she could feel Twilight's heartbeat against her cheek. She gave Twilight a reassuring squeeze. "Night, Twilight..."
"Goodnight, Rainbow," Twilight replied with a sigh. Closing her eyes, she snuggled up with Rainbow. The anxiety that plagued her before fluttered away as she laid there, and before she knew it, she drifted off to a restful sleep held in Rainbow's embrace before venturing on to their shared dreams.
In their dreams, they talked and joked, smiled and laughed, soared through the night sky and pranced through sunlit meadows.
And Twilight knew it would be okay.