Rarity Is Way To Preachy

by Evictus

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Rarity, Profanity, Pinkie Pie, Human, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 1023

Rarity sees Pinkie Practicing Yoga and goes haywire

When Rarity witnesses Pinkie Pie practicing such vile practices she goes on the offense making her case for God....but shes not really taken seriously and gets triggered in the process.

Published 2019-04-15 13:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-04-15 13:10:01 UTC

Triggering Her Friend

Rarity was walking under a shaded area in Ponyville as she had just got back from Manehattan as she had been shopping there.

As she walked back home she decided to stop by Sugarcube Corner to buy some sweets so she did just that.

When she got their age saw that it was closed so she went up to Pinkie's room. When she got their she saw Pinkie in the Salamba Shirshasana on a mat while she was barefoot, wearing leggings and a short sleeved shirt.

"H-hey Rarity....just...give me...a minute..." Pinkie Pie grunted as she balanced herself, Rarity watched her with a shocked expression as she didnt know what to say.

Pinkie Pie finished by going back into child pose and sat up.

"What's going on Rarity?" Pinkie Pie said cheerfully as she wiped sweat off her forehead.

"Pinkie Pie? Why are doing something that's evil?!" Rarity exclaimed.

"What? Evil? Yoga isnt evil it's an excersise method. How can excersise be evil?" Pinkie Pie asked with a confused expression as she couldnt believe what she was hearing.

"It worships the occult and it goes against God!" Rarity said. Pinkie Pie decided to shut down this conversation.

"No Rarity I dont want to be preached to. Christians and the so called holy churches that you go to steal money from people's wallets while discriminating against women and people of different religions. Dont tell me that what I'm doing is evil when you look the other way when some christians themselves do evil, its hypocritical plus its hypocritical for you to judge me over yoga but you use the elements of harmony to defend Equestria as magic is a sin considered a sin by Christians. Frankly I dont care what any sky God who probably doesnt exist has to say about what I'm doing. Now what was it that you came here for?" Pinkie Pie asked.

Rarity stood there speechless as she was not expecting that type of response, she knew that Pinkie Pie was right in a lot of ways, Rarity shook her head.

"I came to buy some stuff but nobody was inside the shop." Rarity explained.

"Yeah were closed for the day sorry, we lost some electrical power so we wont be able to sell stuff until we fix the outage." Pinkie Pie said.

Rarity sighed.

"Alright fine I guess I'll go then." Rarity said as she began to leave. Before Rarity left however she turned around.

"I was just warning you about yoga because I care for your soul I hope you understand. I was not trying to put you down over it or prevent you from practicing it I'm just saying to be careful. All of our souls have to be pure as we protect Equestria. We are all sinless." Rarity said.

"Funny for you to say that when your father wasnt so pure last night." Pinkie Pie said with a snicker.

Rarity became speechless as she was shocked by what she heard. She was no expecting that response and she was not expecting Pinkie to be so vile.

"That's absolutely vile Pinkie how dare you!? Did you really have sex with my parent?!" Rary screamed angrily.

"Yep it was the best dicking of my life. What do you think? Of coarse I didnt." Pinkie said as she tried to hold back laughter.

"That's disgusting and immature of you! I was only trying to warn you!" Rarity yelled.

"Yeah well you dont have to considering that I'm not a Christian and that God doesnt exist anyway. See you later." Pinkie Pie giggled.

Rarity fumed with anger as she couldnt come back with a proper response as she was so flustered and shock. Rarity exited Pinkie's and walked back to Carousel Boutique while muttering under her breath.

While she went back to Carousel Boutique she saw Twilight exiting her castle, Twilight gave Rarity a look of concern.

"Rarity why are you so mad? Did something happen, Rarity then went on a long rant of what happened and when she finished Twilight burst put with laughter.

"Seruously you read a thousand year old book written by a Jewish sky God!? That's priceless!" Twilight laughed, Rarity dug her nails into her palms so hard she drew blood as she was about to explode.

"Stop it! Your bullying me!" Rarity yelled.

"Well you were bullying Pinkie Pie over yoga so..." Twilight said.

"I was warning her!" Rarity screamed.

"Rarity God does not exist. Magic exists and lives throughout all of Equestria, it flows through the elements of harmony, it flows through the princess's and other people here, if God truly existed and hated magic then why does magic exist? Without magic Equestria would be doomed. The elements have saved Equestria so many times. Plus theres nothing evil about yoga. It's a damn excersise. I even do yoga! So ask me this why does God allow magic and yoga and everything else he declares evil to exist?" Twilight asked.

"Because Adam had the fruit of knowledge." Rarity declared angrily.

"That thinking is so flawed that its pathetic, no such tree existed and besides if God didnt want them to eat from the tree then he shouldnt have made it in the first place!" Twilight ranted.

"Your going to be sorry when I'm in heaven and your not!" Rarity ranted.

"Yeah well tell that to your spirit daddy when you get there Tell Jesus to say hello to his bottom bitch Mary Magdaline. I'm sure he gave her a good pounding once or twice." Twilight said with a grib.

"Go burn in hell Twilight." Rarity yelled.

"Dont worry I'll bring some sunscreen with me when I go. It's the SPF one million right?" Twilight remarked sarcastically. Rarity screamed loudly and stormed off causing Twilight to fall over with laughter.

When Rarity got back to Carousel Boutique she put her stuff she had bought from Manehattan on her floor and sat down and screamed into her pillow. She couldnt believe how bullied she had been. Next time she was going to keep her mouth shut since she wasnt going to be taken seriously.