Winx Club Lite

by Maxx Phoenix

Rating: everyone
Tags: Anon, Original Character, Equestria Girls, Second Person, Rainbow Dash (EqG), Comedy, Crossover, Human, Sunset Shimmer
Length: 2862

The Rainbooms must prove to the Winx Club that they measure up!

“I actually don’t have a wrestler for these girls. While they have a cute gimmick, I can’t really say anything other than…well…they’re a cheap-ass wannabe version of us. Basically, Winx Club Lite."

After the Winx Club runs down the Rainbooms on a podcasts, the Rainbooms set out to prove that they measure up!

PART OF THE MAXZUNIVERISE

Published 2019-04-15 17:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-07-26 21:32:12 UTC

Pipebomb

You are Anon, and you’ve had an insane week. A couple days ago, you and your girlfriend, Celtic Savage, have came up with ‘Project NXT’, a program to create a new generation of heroes after the Rainbooms graduate from CHS. Today is going to be special. The two of you rush to Sweet Apple Acres, where the band is performing a cover of Daichi Miura’s ‘Blizzard ’. “Holy shit, dudes! That was awesome!” Said Rainbow Dash. “Yep, I think we’re about to achieve maximum-waifu-faggotry,” said Pinkie Pie. “Well, that’s putting it rather bluntly,” said Sunset. That’s when you and Celtic burst into, falling and hitting your heads in the process. “Ahh,ooh. It feels like I’ve just been skull fucked by the tin-man. Sunny Buns helped you up. “What’s on, Anon?” Sunset said. “Booms, did you not hear? The motherfucking Winx Club went on the Joe Rogan podcast, and they were totally talking shit about you girls. “Really? I’ll be the judge of that!” Dash pulled out her phone, and pulled up the Joe Rogan Podcast. Sure enough, Bloom Sparx, Stella Flare, Flora Lymphea, Tecna Zenith, Musa Melody, and Aisha Tydez were jacking around and laughing with Joe Rogan.

“Damn, Bloom… I can’t believe you were to get THAT high!”

“Well, Mr.Rogan. Domino has the best weed in the magic dimension,” said Bloom

“It is also my understanding that you got the other Winx into Pro-Wrestling?”

“That’s right!”

“Cool, let’s play a game. I’ll name some magical girls and factions, you associate them with certain wrestlers. Got It?”

“OK, shoot!

“You girls?”

“John Cena,”

“Hehe, the Totally Spies?”

“Well, considering that they apparently sexually awoken an entire generation, I’d say either Joey Ryan, or D-Generation X,” said Stella with a smirk.

“OG She-Ra?”

“Don’t make it too easy, uh…Hulk Hogan, minus the cunty bullshit!

“New She-Ra?”

“Pre-Leukemia Roman Reigns,”

“Jesus fuck… Sailor Moon and the Sailor Scouts,”

“Easy, THE ROCK!”

“Fucking classic, and finally, The Rainbooms?

Bloom scratched the back of her head thoughtfully. “I actually don’t have a wrestler for these girls. While they have a cute gimmick, I can’t really say anything other than…well…they’re a cheap-ass wannabe version of us. Basically, Winx Club Lite. Sure, they captured some major Ws, but I feel like the Winx have become something of a measuring stick. There have been many times where we’ve heard the buzz behind something or someone, but, from the Crystal Gems to the Mysticons, and everyone in between, when it’s time to see what’s up, they don’t seem to measure up to the hype. The Rainbooms have yet to prove that they measure up,” she explained.

“Well shit, before we end this show, do you think you can hook me up with some of that weed from Domino?” Joe asked. “Sure, if you don’t mind cosmic horror,” Bloom said, half-jokingly.

With that, the video ended, The Rainbooms looked at the screen, and at each other. Rainbow Dash’s eye twitched. “Winx Club Lite? WINX CLUB LITE?!? I KNOW THOSE FREAKIN’ HAS-BEENS DID NOT JUST CALL US OUT!” She raged. Sci-Twi Sparkle placed a hand on her shoulder. “Simmer down, Dash. We’ll figure something out,” she said. You give Celtic you phone, as her’s it dead. She turned on the camera. “So, Winx Club decided to talk some shit about the Rainbooms, huh? Well…WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE GUYS? These guys think they’re it. Think they’re that good shit. These fuckers talk more shit than I fucking do! Tell you what, you phony little twats, why don’t you get your punk asses in the ring and mix it up with the Booms,”

Celtic’s tirade was disrupted when Rainbow Dash snatched the phone from her.

“So, Winx Club Lite, huh? Listen, you banjo-built bitches. We can kick your butts! Anytime! Anywhere!” The belligerent blue bitch ranted.

Sunset blinked. “You know what? Screw it. Rainbow, point the phone towards me,” she said. Rainbow obliged. “Winx Club, we do respect you, but you stepped where you should not have stepped. You see, YOU are the ones who need prove that you ‘measure up’. How about we see who truly measures up. The Rainbooms versus the Winx Club. We can call it, ‘G1 HYPERCARD’ for all of the bragging rights. “Let’s see if you still measure up, you know where to find us, bitches. Oh, and by the way, at least we don’t dress up like very expensive hookers!” Sunset took a deep breath. I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me. In any case, Anon, you can upload that or delete it, I don’t care which,” she said passively.

You immediately upload it. “Youtube Gold, here I come,” you say as you run off.

The Next Day…

Pinkie runs into the Shimmer Shack with reckless abandon. “SUNSET SHIMMER!!!” Ponkers shrieked. “Hey, you don’t have to yell, I’m right here,” said Sunset. “Sorry, but look!” Pinkie pulled up the video. “Oh my Faust! It went viral over night!” Said Sunset. “And guess who retweeted? The Winx!!” Said Pinkie. Sunset pulled up her Twitter. The tweet came from none other Bloom. The fairy of the Dragon Flame.

The tweet read:

LMAO. How cute. Listen, your passion is lovely, but this is not a hill you want to die on.
Just stay in your lane, kids! XOX
-Bloom Sparx

“So, they’re still underestimating us,” The two looked up to see Rainbow Dash. “I’m calling the others, we’re taking a little field trip to Gardenia!” Rainbow group texted the others.

To: AppleJack, Rarity, Twilight, Fluttershy….
Meet me at the tour bus in about an hour! We’re going to pay the Winx a little visit!

One hour later…
“Ah can’t believe we are actually going to Gardenia!” Said AppleJack. “I’ve been thinking about it, and Rainbow Dash is right. We must show the Winx that we measure up to the hype! Besides, these are the only lives we got, so we got to live big time,” Sunset mused. “Oh my…” said Fluttershy. “Damn, I should have packed some clothes,” said Rarity. “Don’t worry, Rares. This won’t take long. Dash assured. The Rainbooms got on the bus, and, after some last minutes checks, the bus began to take off. Rainbow dash closed her fist. “Just you wait, Winx. We are coming to fix your wagon!”

What will the Rainbooms do in Gardenia?

Will Rainbow Dash get her ass folded in the most cosmic sense?

Why does Sunset’s hair look like bacon?

Stay Tuned to find out!

Diss Jockies

Rainbow and Sunset typed away at the computer, composing a message to the various student factions. That's when Sci-Twi entered the room. "Hey, Sunset. What you are doing?" She asked. Sunset and Rainbow smirked. "We're going to write a diss track on the Winx Club," said Dash. "This is be entertaining, let me see that." Sci looked at the messages, they read:

Attention, all art ,music, and theatre students! I'm Sunset Shimmer of the Rainbooms! We are about to make a diss track on the Winx Club. We need cameras, props, music, and theatrics.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Asked Sci-Twi. "Of course, the Winx disrespected us, we can't take that lying down!" Said Sunset. "I guess I can't really stop you, huh?" Said Sci-Twi. "You wan't in" Asked Rainbow. Sci-Twi sighed. "Fuck it, let's do it!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------A Few Hours Later----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y'all wont pass the touch, so we'll take the throne.
We above you like an attack drone!

"WELCOME TO EQUUS COUNTY, MOTHERFUCKERS!!"

The offending music video begins with the 'Winx' talking, until "Flora" trips and fall face first into some mud. "Bloom", with the other Winx start laughing rapidly at him for falling, playfully calling her 'brownose', before helping her up. Then out of nowhere, Sunset Shimmer and the Rainbooms appear in the sky, looking at them.

The Winx, in fear, run away, then enter an old house, in which they tried to hide from the Rainbooms.

The Booms then follow them and enter the house, after AJ kicked down the door.

Calling all Units
Shots fired in front of the Supreme store
There's about to be a 261 in progress
Send all available units
Send in the back-up
Send in the big guns
Send in the canine unit
Send in the... fuck

I wanna be gay 'cause you're fucked and I wanna savour it
But it's cool, after smashing you I'll PayPal you 2K
Oh, no! You getting mad?
Gonna knock the phone right out of my hand?
That shit was fucking absurd
Y'all are "rockstars" who can't resolve shit with words?
Talk like you eating some paste, ayy
Is that your IQ or your age? Ayy
Say to your audience face, ayy
How Jacob Sartorious tastes
Ayy, you look afraid, must have seen a ghostwriter
Well, ditto, little bitch, but I'm not scared to show mine

Woo! You've been pretending
Ever since your magic balls descended
Let kids think you did it all
When you weren't capable of making up playground insults
That's bad, but then I heard you try to rap
I was more disappointed than when I found out
Casey Neistat didn't have nice tats
Boy, gotta flex
Gotta flex, flex, flex
Because when you've got no personality
Replace it with a Rolex
You really don't see your friends rolling their eyes?
Hoping to die, they're so tired
Of you throwing the price of what you buy in their face
No, no, no, no, you think they're gonna say

"Oh my God, you're such a legend
You make me so wet with your reckless spending
You gained my respect and you're oh so funny
Please, take me to your mansion and fuck me!"
You're fucking delusional
So try your best to remember
You girls aint pimps
Y'all borderline sex offenders
Diss boy a flavor of the month
But which is it, huh?
A whiny Vietnamese wanna-be gangsta
It's salt and vingar
You're like Kanye without the talent
Like Jackie Chan but a little faggot
Like Soulja Boy but...
Actually, yeah, you're exactly like
Soulja Boy

The first to go was "Flora", who was pushed to the ground by Fluttershy, and then, "Tecna" got brutally slapped by Sci-Twi.
"Aisha" ran down the hall, only for AJ to launch a lasso around her neck, snapping it. "Musa" hid in the kitchen, but Pinkie pulled her into a magical stove, transforming her into a cupcake. "Stella" tried to hide in the closet, but Rarity was waiting to whack her in the head was a sewing machine.

Say you don't wanna look like a little bitch
But, dude, you're gonna be crucified
How can you claim that shit
When you're to scared to go in on PewDiePie?

Little hoes, little bitch
Suck my metaphorical dick
Admit that you just got pounded

I'd say "take the L" if you could pronounce it
I'd say "take the L" if you could pronounce it
(Get it, Musa, because you're Asian-ish?)
(That's what you wanted, right?)
(Hey, let's make fun of the Asian-ish girl with his Asian girlish eyes)

Jesus Christ, you're as predictable as a house tour
To call you surface level would be an insult to the ground floor

Whatever you've promised to follow, you've quit
You can't persist for shit, you narcissistic prick
Your audience is fickle, here's what I predict
Your channel's bound to crash down to rubble (oh, no!)
How the fuck can someone spit cum
And not realise they're in a bubble?
But let me guess, I'm irrelevant, right?
Isn't that your excuse?
When you're too stupid to explain your views
'Cause you're as basic as a one-block Rubik's Cube
You're an insecure, unoriginal little bitch and that's that
So, come to think of it
You're actually the dog filter on Snapchat

Got cash, cash, money and the views and the clicks
And yet you're always gonna be a little bitch

Last, but not least, "Bloom" had a bat in her hands, as walked through the backyard. There, waiting for her, was Sunset Shimmer, in her Super Saiyan Alicorn mode. In an instant, the bacon-haired warrior went up to 'Bloom", and slapped her into a wall. Then, Sunset summoned the infinity gauntlet, and snapped her fingers. In an instant, the "Winx" could only
watch as each other turned into dust. A job well done, Sunset lit a blunt, and smoked it. THE END.

Now I'm finished as planned
It was just three minutes so it wasn't that bad
But I got one question to ask you, bro
Did it feel good, though?

-------------------------------------------------------------The Next Day----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You race into the band room in shock and awe! "Guys! Guys! O to the M to the G!" You exclaim. "What is it, Anon?" Asked Sunset. "That music video went viral!" You say. "And, Bloom Sparx responded."

Sure enough, the video had over a million views, and Bloom tweeted it and said:

LOL, I needed a good laugh. You little cuties stay in your lane. XOX <3
-Bloom

Sunset clenched her fists. "Really?"

Author's Note

Yeah, I know. These are the lyrics of Asian Jake Paul, but i'm terrible with lyrics :P

The Winx clap back! [Under Consruction][Imcomplete][Please Help]

GARDENIA MMA GYM...

Bloom furiously threw a series of punches and kicks, clad in a blue sports bra, and matching shorts. Her phone immediately, rang, and Bloom checked the caller ID. It was Stella, Aisha, Flora, Tecna, and Musa .

"What's up," she said.
"Bloom, holy shit! The Rainbooms made a diss track on us," said Stella.
Bloom laughed.

"So what, why are you taking them seriously?"
"You don't understand, they threatened to taxidermy Kiko!"

"Motherfucker"

WINX CLUB PRODUCTIONS PRESENT: GOODBYE, RAINBOOMS

“It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt”

The Winx Club stepped out of their van, dressed in long trenchcoats, and armed with machine guns.
Bloom cracked her fists with a smirk

Wahoo!
You girls know y'all gonna lose
I got one question for you Where have your tits gone? Wahoo!
Dashie, this ain't FIFA, You can't run
But I think I'm 'bout done being nice to you
Bitch you know you gonna lose
I got one question for you Where have your tits gone?

Wahoo!
We cannot wait for round one
You're done, I'm think I'm done being nice to ya!

Welcome to Eqqus County Motherfucker
We're here, The Rainbooms about to fucking disappear
Bitch I warned ya
But each others dicks up in ya ears
You're chilling with dudes
Even though y'all a man's worst nightmare

OurFistshit harderthan a pistol
When we're done with you, you won't have that much to live for
You'll be on the streets, here's some change take a nickel
People rollin' up to you askin'
How much would you suck dick for?

They went up to a school building, and kicked down the front door.

Your style, and your flow has proven equally as shitty.
We'll kick your cute little asses, from here to Canterlot City!

Girls, y'all 'bout to get it.
One to ten the only numbers then the medic.
Girls, you 'bout to get it.
Beat the womanhood out the bitch, then jump on Reddit.
Girls you 'bout to get it.
Cross you out and turn the people empathetic.
Girls, you 'bout to get it

Bloom opened a door, and came across a girl with bacony hair.
Stella took a blowtorch to a marshmallow.
Musa entered the cafeteria, and threw a girl with poofy hair into an oven.

Make them missing like we're Thanos clicking.
Teammates switching, now you're twitching.
Storming in to break the plates from in your kitchen
'Cause you're getting married to the letter L
Know I'm coming when you hear that bell
I'm on point everyday, every way, no delay
Ending on the day, andale
I've got no time for the people saying better in
A line, sooner looking for a better night fix
I deal with hate on a regular, so you better get in line
When they meet me and they wanna take pics

Tecna launched an EMP, knocking out the lights to a room with a girl wearing glasses.
Aisha straight up drowned the girl who is a walking pride parade.
Flora came across a shy looking girl, and introduced her to the concept of tentacle-vine hentai.

Y'all some pussies.
You girls know you gonna lose
I got one question for you Where have your tits gone? Pussy
Bitch this ain't FIFA, You can't run
But I think I'm 'bout done being nice to you
Bitch you know you gonna lose
I got one question for you Where have your tits gone?
Pussy
I cannot wait for round one
You're done, I'm think I'm done being nice to you

The music video ended the with the Winx Club flying into the air, and NUKING THE FUCKING SCHOOL!

All that was left is to upload it, and get that ad revenue!

A few days later, The Winx took to Twitter to make a definitve tweet.

@Rainbooms, you're challenge for a 'G1 Hypercard is accepted. XOXO
-Bloom Sparx

Author's Note

I know, I know. It's a rip