Fluttershy's Fillyhood

by Pokey the Unicorn

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Sad, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Fluttershy
Length: 2549

Life wasn't always so easy for Fluttershy...

As a young filly, Fluttershy had trouble fitting in. She's far too timid to make friends in school, and at home she slowly finds her solace and optimism crushed by her cruel drunkard of a father. Her parents argue every night, and her father has threatened to walk out many times in the past. Fluttershy wants nothing more than for her parents to stay together and be happy, but where does a filly turn to when bitterness and conflict are all around her?

Published 2012-08-14 01:04:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-14 01:04:02 UTC

Chapter 1

Fluttershy was worried. Her teacher had given her a stern warning about her latest homework assignment, and had even threatened to fail her if she couldn't turn it it by the due date. She had already given the filly an extension, and saw laziness as the only explanation for one of her best students' sudden slacking off.

She trudged home with her head down, making her best effort to ignore the jeering of the trio of bullies that were harassing her. She did her best to keep a straight face, focusing on the swirling patterns of the clouds underhoof. The bullies, unable to elicit a reaction, lost interest and left her to go do something else. That's what always happened, but it didn't stop them from trying; they had managed to drive her to tears during the lunch break earlier. She had become a prime target for any and all bullying ever since the day her father had come to the school to pick her up. Fluttershy would never admit to anypony that she had been embarrassed that day, and she had not been allowed to forget it either.

Fluttershy lived in a fairly good neighborhood. Her house was close to the school, but not too close. Some of the cloud homes were really beautiful, adorned with columns and flowing rainbow ornaments, such as fountains and pools. The main street she took to walk home was always breezy, and it became positively chilling in the winter. As Fluttershy passed her local corner shop she contemplated going in and purchasing herself a snack. She decided against it though, feeling too clammed up to face other ponies right then.

She was close to her house now. Just one more block. She felt a little better already, being closer to her sanctuary. All she wanted at that moment was to return home, to hide herself away so she could calm down and put the day out of her mind. She walked up the path to the front door of her house, pausing momentarily as she nosed around in her saddlebags for the key. The heavy oak door creaked softly as it opened, and her mother called out to her. Fluttershy silently hoped that she wouldn't come to greet her daughter, not wanting to be seen at that moment.

"Hello sweetie. How was school?" Twice Shy said, walking over to her daughter and nuzzling her affectionately. Fluttershy actively fought to stifle her sad whimper as she nuzzled back, telling herself that she wouldn't bury her face in her mother's shoulder and cry today.

"Um, good..." She replied. Her mother stepped back and looked at her, smiling.

"I can't wait to hear about what you've learned today. Listen, why don't you go up and take off those heavy saddlebags, unpack your homework, then come down for some afternoon tea? That'd be nice, wouldn't it? I can make some daisy sandwiches, how about that?"

"Okay mommy." Fluttershy nodded her head and pulled her mouth into a smile. Her mother trotted back into the kitchen, and Fluttershy ascended the stairs slowly. She was almost home now, her sanctuary was just a few steps away.

Fluttershy sighed as soon as she entered her bedroom. The tension in her back and wings eased slightly, and she let her saddlebags fall to the floor. After locking her door with her nose she climbed onto her bed and lay down, burying her face in her pillow. Her tears flowed freely, and she wrapped her forelegs around her pillow, hugging it tightly. Fluttershy stayed like that until her mother called up the stairs for her. She dried her face hurriedly, turned her pillow over to the dry side, unpacked her homework, then flew down the stairs.

"Where were you?" Her mother asked.

"Oh, I'm sorry... I just had a nap. I'm tired." She rubbed her eyes.

"Well I'm sure you had a very busy day at school then. Here, sit down sweetie. I've got us some nice sandwiches, and I'd love to hear all about it!" Twice Shy smiled broadly at her daughter, awaiting her news.

"Mmm, thank you for the sandwiches." Fluttershy said. "The subject today was applicable physics of wing anatomy. It was very interesting."

"Oh, they're teaching you some flying theory? That's wonderful!"

"Well, not really... The class was split between two subjects, and we were allowed to choose the one we wanted. Lots of ponies took the other subject..."

"What was it?" Her mother asked.

"Um, I don't remember. Something about clouds and weather."

Twice Shy eyed her daughter, thinking. "The students that can fly take that subject, don't they?" Fluttershy dropped her gaze to the floor.

"Don't worry sweetie, you'll learn when you're ready." Her mother soothed. "Our weekend practice sessions are going well! You can hover just fine, right?" Fluttershy smiled at this. She could hover, yeah. It was better than not being able to fly at all.

"You just need some more confidence." She smiled, finishing off a sandwich.

"I guess so..."

"Do you have any homework?" Her mother asked.

"... yes."

"Well then you'd better go do it. Finish your sandwiches and I'll call you down for dinner, okay?"

"When will daddy be home?" Fluttershy asked hopefully

"Not until later." Her mother answered flatly. Fluttershy pouted at this, returning to her room. She locked her door, sat up at her desk, and stared at her homework, willing herself to concentrate. A bird flew in her open window, landing on the sill, chirping and peering around curiously.

"Oh, hello there little birdie. That's a very nice song you're singing." Fluttershy looked over at the bird, and considered walking up to it to see if she could coax it into perching on her hoof. To her surprise, it did! She hovered over to her desk and sat down, delighted at the company she now had.

"Maybe you could keep me company while I do my homework." She suggested. When the little bird chirped in agreement, Fluttershy smiled. A genuine smile felt foreign, contorting her face in ways she wasn't used to. She decided not to dwell on this though, and made a start on her homework. The little bird seemed unusually interested in her wing physics paper, and even helped her. It opened its wings for observation, demonstrated how it hovered in place by perching and flapping them slowly enough for Fluttershy to see, and showed her how it flew by doing a few laps around her room. The young filly found herself giggling and laughing at the bird's silly antics, such as demonstrating how not to fly, and simulating a crash landing on her bed.

Fluttershy was pleased with herself; she had managed to finish up all of her homework before dinnertime, and her mother called her down ten minutes later. The two ate in silence, and Fluttershy was too busy eating to talk anyway. Her mother's cooking was always amazing, and a good hot meal at the end of a schoolday was always comforting. She washed the dishes afterwards, thankful that there weren't that many to do.

"All done? Would you like a few cookies to take up, sweetie?" Her mother asked.

"Oh, yes please!" She nodded vigorously. Twice Shy opened the cupboard and pulled out the packet of cookies, and was surprised to see that it was empty.

"Oh my, there aren't any left. Oh well, maybe you can have them tomorrow night instead." Twice Shy would buy her daughter some cookies tomorrow.

"Um, what about daddy's cookies?" Fluttershy asked hopefully. Her mother raised an eyebrow at this, then pulled down the pack and looked inside.

"I'm sure he won't notice, eh Fluttershy?" She said, winking. Fluttershy giggled, taking a cookie with her mouth. She mumbled a quick "thank you" around it, then ran up to her room.

Later that night, Fluttershy heard the front door open. She raced down the stairs to greet her father, giving him an affectionate nuzzle.

"We'll talk later Fluttershy." He grumbled, lumbering past her into the living room. Fluttershy closed the front door after him. "He's probably just tired" she thought.

"Oh um, okay daddy... I-I guess I'll just go wait in my room?" she said to herself, feeling more than a little dejected. She didn't notice her father's slurring, nor could she recognize the smell of booze on him.

Fluttershy sat on her bed for the next half hour, tracing lines in her sheets absentmindedly. She decided to wait until the yelling stopped before she went back downstairs, but when it did she could hear her father coming up to her room. She thought that he would be coming up to talk with her. The last thing she expected was for her door to slam open, and for him to storm in and scream at her.

"Fluttershy! Fluttershy!! You better have a damn good explanation for this!" He growled, holding up the pack of cookies.

"... Oh umm, I'm sorry daddy, I uh-"

"How many bucking times have I told you to stay out of my things!? Do you know how bloody expensive these are??

Fluttershy's reply was cut off when the pack hit her in the side, breaking and covering her bed in crumbs.

"They're damn expensive. I buy these for myself, and I've told you to stay away from them! They're not some kiddy treat that you can dip into whenever you please!! He roared.

"b-but I only had one, daddy..."

*WHACK*

...

Fluttershy sobbed quietly, holding her sore face in her hooves.

"Why can't you ever listen to me, Fluttershy?"

"I'm sorry daddy! I didn't mean to take them... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done it..." She pleaded.

"No, you shouldn't! Now look what you made me do!" He yelled, stabbing a hoof at her crumb-riddled bed. "Don't you dare waste those now! You better eat every last crumb off that damn bed Fluttershy! And the next pack is coming out of your allowance!"

Fluttershy looked down at her bed, her vision blurred by tears. She reached down and lapped up a few crumbs, chewing mournfully. Her mouth was far too dry to chew them properly, and she couldn't taste them at all.

"And by the way, what's this your mother tells me about you being behind on your homework? Get over here and finish it right now."

"But I've already done it..." she said, her voice barely a whisper.

"Then go to bed!" He snapped, slamming the door after himself as he left.

Sometime later, Twice Shy went up to her daughter's room. She sat down next to the miserable filly and stroked her mane gently, and told her about the cup of warm milk she'd brought up. No reply. She got up, pulled the sheets over her daughter, and left.

The next morning Fluttershy awoke to her parents arguing downstairs. She cringed when she heard glass shatter, and wrapped her pillow around her head to block out the noises. She glanced over at the time. It was about 11:00 AM. Fluttershy was glad that today wasn't a schoolday. Deciding to get up anyway, she got out of bed.

Ten minutes later, Fluttershy walked downstairs. Her parents were in the living room, yelling at each other about... something. It was always something. She went into the kitchen to make some coffee, then emerged a few minutes later with a tray balanced on her back and wings. She walked over to her father and nudged his flank tentatively. He stopped, surprised, then smiled when he saw the three cups on the tray.

"Well Twice, it looks like you're actually teaching our daughter something useful!" He said to her. "Now, why don't you stop screeching about your little mane appointment and have some tea?"

Glaring at him, she took a cup and had a sip. "Mmm, this is very good Fluttershy! Thank you."

"You're welcome" the filly said. This was nice. Her family sitting down together, sharing a warm drink. Calmly, for once. Fluttershy smiled. Her father spoke up.

"Fluttershy, why don't you tell me how school's been going? I'd like to hear about it."

A week or so later, Fluttershy was jolted awake in the early hours of the morning by a slam. Her father was yelling, and the words he uttered made her blood run cold. She was down the stairs in a flash, pushing past her mother and running outside. Her father swore when he saw her coming, and climbed into his chariot hurriedly.

"Goodbye Fluttershy."

She screamed. Begged. Pleaded. Chased. Repeated those same four words until she was hoarse.

"Where are you going?!"

Her mother had to come out and drag her back inside. Twice Shy tried to calm her distraught daughter, but she was inconsolable. The filly felt herself being carried up to her bed, then tucked in gently. Her mother must have left her at some point, because she returned later.

"Fluttershy." The filly looked up. Her face bore an expression of utter despair, and it broke her mother's heart.

"He asked me to give this to you." Twice Shy passed her a letter. Fluttershy opened it and began to read.

To my dear Fluttershy

I've decided to write this letter to you in one of my rare moments of calmness and lucidity. There are so many things I want to say to you, but I couldn't do it face-to-face. The first thing I need to say is that I love you. I know I don't show it much, and you might not think it's true, but it is.

If you're reading this, I've left. You might not understand yet, but it's because I love you and your mother that I had to do it. You don't need me anymore. You've proven that.

It's a tough world out there Fluttershy. Nopony is going to knock on your door and give you a good life for nothing. There are no free rides. You have to jump in and claim it yourself, because nopony else will. I know that the other kids at school bully you, but that's just something you have to overcome yourself. It'll be a valuable lesson for you when you grow up. Things don't get better once you're an adult. They get worse, actually. Some ponies can be downright evil, and if you can't stand your ground you'll get trampled, walked all over your entire life. My only consolation to you is that you don't need to be scared. You're a smart, kind filly, and if you can learn to stand up for yourself, there's no doubt in my mind that you'll go far.

I've seen your grades. You're smart enough to do anything in life you want. You're a good pony, and being successful means nothing if you're not kind. The world needs more kindness. Never lose it.

I can't control how you choose to remember me. If you resent me for what I've done I wouldn't blame you. All I can hope for is that you hold onto this letter as a reminder of my better side. All I want is for you to have a good life. Just know that whatever you do, I'll always be proud of you.

All my love

Your Father.