Chapters Present.
My lungs were on fire as smoke billowed out from the upper levels of my home, the dark night sky glowing a devious dark orange hue. The hellish warmth of the blaze wafting across all of Ponyville, ponies were rushing over to my side from all directions, walking out of the abyss in fear, worry and curiosity.
Everything was becoming a blur of colors and sensations, my once cream colored coat matted with dry crimson blood. My mane tangled as debris of the mud soaked ground intertwined with it, my whole body aching from horrible cramps and bruises.
Button Mash my poor nerdy boyfriend, he came rushing through the growing crowd bravely. His beautiful warm eyes locking onto mine swiftly, tears rolling down each cheek as his gentle touch scooped me into his hooves.
My body growing limp and weaker, my world spinning out of control. I had survived the nightmare, yet perhaps not the night. Button whispering sweet nothings into my ripped open ear, I couldn't make out the words, but still broke down sobbing.
My world was growing black, the crowd becoming silent and still.
My life flashing across my eyes in a technicolor rainbow of emotions, my world resetting from the beginning.
When I first entered hell.
Two Months Earlier.
“You do know darling, plump is not polite.” Rarity spoke in a delicate if slightly condescending tone.
My lime green eyes watching myself in her workshop mirror carefully, vision studying my pudgy ugly body with growing shame. I bit my lower lip in uncertainty at her venomous words, I knew I was out of shape, yet had no real idea how to fix it.
“Have you been cheating on that dietary plan, I created for you?” Rarity walked up from behind me with disgust in her eyes, she hated seeing me this way, though was far too polite to admit it.
“Maybe?” I pinned my ears back sheepishly, tiny hooves running over the small bulge on my waistline in dissatisfaction.
“You do this to yourself, do you want to be unsightly like that Apple Bloom!?” Rarity flipped her long violet mane over her shoulder daintily, her eyes burning bright like embers.
“Bloom is very beautiful…” I whispered under my breath sarcastically, I hated when Rarity dug into my friends, I was fine, over the years growing numb to the criticism.
But my friends were the last rays of light, in my increasingly darkening world.
“Then by all means, go feast from a trough like her!” Rarity rolled her eyes sternly, trotting across the room towards her work table.
“But, I thought you needed me to model?” I fought back the large lump growing deep in my throat, the warm sting of tears burning my eyes.
“Not till you eat.” Rarity spun around, sneering to me with those perfect ocean blue eyes.
“Sorry.” I whispered in shame, head lowering towards the floor as I exited the tension filled room.
Thoughts of troughs, running through my mind.
Rarity might have grown a tad bitter over the years, the sheer amount of work she put into her fashion business was outstanding. So I was ok with taking a few lumps from my older sister, if it helped her vent and relax after a long day of nonsense.
But the problem soon reared its ugly head from this one good deed, Rarity soon got a twisted sense of pleasure from the verbal abuse she dished out. With nopony to call her out on it, I found myself enduring day after day of torture.
She'd never allow anypony to witness it, when we're around other ponies, she's my old lovely sister. Yet when the moon rises and the doors close, she flips a switch and becomes this horrible creature.
I'm not sure how to handle this problem, I can't discuss it with my friends, I'd feel far too much shame. Mom was an option, but how would spilling my guts end?
Rarity kicked out!?
Rarity hating me!?
I let my gaze fall to a large mud puddle just outside Rarity's Boutique, the rippling water causing my features to bloat disgustingly. All I could see in the murky reflection were my flaws, I had not grown with grace or elegance.
I was ugly.
Wincing softly I sped off down the large open path towards home, ponies casting odd glances my way, curiosity bleeding into their veins. I ignored them all in my haste, I just wanted to get home and hide in my room.
My white hooves sinking into the moist mud of the dirt path, my mood just the same as the weather. Rainy and full of dense grey mist, yet the promise of sunshine hidden deep inside.
I skid to a sudden stop in front of my home, the gentle sprinkling of cold rain hitting my muzzle from high above. This day had started off horrible and just got worse, I was growing weary of my sister.
If I were to share my story with anypony, it would have to be my mother. Dad had a bias towards his princess Rarity, if I even spoke one sour word against her, I'd be scolded like no tomorrow.
I needed to get mom alone, gently walking off into the wet green grass of our lawn. I cautiously tilted my head to peek into the kitchen window, mom was busy cooking in front of the stove with a wiggle in her step.
He was beside her, chuckling heartily about something or an other.
My heart sinking deep within my chest.
How had it come to this in my life?
I was afraid of two ponies, who I should feel safest around.
Hunching over under the kitchen window, I lowered my head in a sense of broken innocence. My ears slowly pinning back as the world grew quiet, the rain had begun to pour down upon me once more.
I shivered in a numbing sensation from the growing cold, doing the first thing to come to mind.
I cried.
I carried myself to the front door with numb shivering hooves, taking a deep breath to calm my mind and body, pastel green magic grasping the knob before twisting. The house was extra warm today, Dad loved having it toasty on a rainy day, though mom did always seem to look a bit uncomfortable.
I gave my damp coat a delicate shake, trying my best to feel anything besides numb. Looking towards the shadow covered stairway with a sinking feeling inside my stomach, I trotted towards the living room mirror quietly.
My reflection of a pony I didn't know, not anymore at least.
“How ya doin’ kiddo, still playing dress up!?” My dad suddenly appearing behind me with a huge goofy grin, his extra large hoof ruffling my already messy mane.
“No sir.” I spoke in barely an audible whisper.
“Eh!?” He snorted back in return loudly.
“There you are dear, want to help me in the kitchen!?” Mom poked her head out of the kitchen with a warm welcoming smile, her voice a playful melody of cheer.
“Yes!” I could feel my eyes light up, breaking the uncomfortable tension between my father and I.
“Well ok then, Cookie I'm headin’ out for a bit hun!” I turned to watch dad waddling towards the front door whistling nonchalantly.
“Okies Hondo!” Mom replied off in her own distant world, enjoying the simple act of cooking while Dad vanished out the front door.
“Mom, am I pretty?” I gently trudged across the clean kitchen floor in near silence.
“Howdy doody, both you fillies are complete Heartbreakers!” Mom turned to flash a beaming smile, her hooves expertly pressing out dough on the counter.
“I'm not fat?” I felt the words fall from my lips slowly, mom raising a thin brow towards me curiously.
“Well you're pudgy, but so is little Rare Bear!- I think you girls, get it from me.” Mom giggled flaunting her hoof over her body.
I was trying to be serious, but no matter what I said. It would always just be a joke to her, usually she was more on my wavelength but now she was acting odd. I didn't know what to think, had somepony already chatted with her?
“You know, Rare had spoken to me last night.” Mom's voice suddenly snapped me back into reality, she stood near the sink slowly washing her hooves.
“She did?” My stomach twisted into a sharp knot, my body weakly leaning against the nearby wall in growing fear.
“Yeppers! I must say I agree with her too, you need to stick to that there dietary plan!” Mom used her magic to twist off the kitchen sink slowly, turning to face me with a almost careless gaze.
“You don't want ponies, talking about you hmm?” Mom let her eyes trace over my body slowly as if studying me, my hooves lifting to hide my belly embarrassed.
“No ma'am.” I let out a hopeless sigh from my muzzle, I wasn't completely sure but I had a fear Rarity had Mom in her hoof.
“That's my girl!” Mom cantered over with a skip in her step, roughly patting the top of my mane as I winced slightly.
I took too long, now I couldn't trust anyone.
Helping Mom out around the kitchen was hard work, or it felt that way at least. I was feeling so much weaker lately, my hooves dragging my trembling body into my room with a soft groan. Photos of my friends littering the walls around me, old toys or books scattered about my floor messily.
I passed by my open dresser, spotting a small oats and honey candy bar sticking out mockingly. My eyes flashing over my bloated swollen belly in pure disgust, I quickly used my magic to lift the bar high, crumbling it to pieces with my fiery green magic.
This room was my sanctuary, four walls to shield myself from my personal hell. These ponies were no longer my family, we had all grown apart without anypony noticing. Now I was paying the price, everyday was the same thing, just steadily growing worse.
Dietary Plans!
Mocking tones!
Restrictions in dating!
I wasn't allowed to live, I was simply dying.
I took a step away from my dresser in growing anxiety, my hooves weakly giving out from under my own massive weight. My body smashing onto the floor with a loud thud, my whole frame aching with a dull sense of pain.
“Sweetie, I heard a fall?” Mom spoke through the wooden door in a mockingly sweet tone.
“I'm ok, I'm just looking under my bed!” I swallowed the tight lump in my throat, rolling over on my backside to take deep calming breaths.
“You're not hiding things again?” She spoke in a cautious tone as I lifted the crumbled snack above me, sighing as I tossed it out my open window into the icy abyss.
“No!” I scoffed through pursed lips, a loud sigh echoing before the sounds of hoofsteps could be heard walking away.
I struggled to lift up to my hooves, tossing myself weakly onto my nice cozy bed. Curling under my freshly washed blanket into a small ball, my eyes lifting to watch the ceiling in a somber filled silence.
This house was stealing my drive to live, tearing it away from my soul piece by piece. Soon I'd have nothing left to give, my eyes filling with a thin line of tears as my stomach gurgled.
I focused all of my attention on a old photo of Bloom and Scoots, pinned to my wall, I needed to sneak away tomorrow and find my girls. They'd be the only ponies I have left to keep me strong, I needed a boost of any kind at this low point.
Perhaps I might even spot Button as well, I always had a bit of a crush on his dorky personality. We could talk for hours at a time, I'd watch him play his new games and just devour tons of junk food.
He never judged me.
We just understood each other, I was his Player Two.
With some luck, maybe tomorrow would be a new level.
I could hear my door creak open in the dead of the night, a pale yellow light of a lit candle creeping eerily across my bedroom wall. My eyes slowly creeping open in the dark abyss I was turned on my side, facing away from the intruders entering my sanctuary.
I held my breath as to not make any sudden movements they had no idea I was wide awake. Two sets of sturdy hoofsteps walking inside my heart beating wildly in my chest much like a stampede of buffalo.
“I don't see anything?” Mom's voice gave a deep sigh her hooves carefully walking around the edges of my room.
“Trust me mom, she's hiding away disgusting food in here.” Rarity hissed in her snooty upper class voice I could hear her walking ever closer towards my bed.
Soon towering over my tiny frame with ease, her icy blue eyes burning into the back of my head painfully. My body frozen in fear as I did my best to not move my breathing becoming heavier and far less calm.
“If she is, I don't see it.” Mom walked to Rarity the sound of her nudging her side clearly heard.
“I just don't understand, she used to be so innocent and adorable.” Rarity whispered in a distant tone of regret.
“Are you certain, she's hiding food?” Mom spoke in a far more uncertain voice she had fallen under Rarity's sick obsession as well.
“Grrr, how did she become this…” Rarity groaned in disgust her hooves quickly rushing outside my room.
Mom was quick to follow dashing after her daughter of flawless perfection in worry. My room plummeting into darkness as the door clicked shut fresh tears cascading down my cheeks.
Tears of a broken heart.
The Morning.
“Could it just be a bad day?” Scootaloo raised a thin brow quizzically towards my direction. I sat underneath the shade of our old clubhouse in shock.
“You don't believe me?” The sun of this cozy warm day blotted out above by the lush treetops Scootaloo flat on her plot in a pile of dirt, scooter flipped over as violet eyes locked upon it in mild inspection.
“Didn't say that.” Scootaloo popped her lips sarcastically eyes purposely averting from mine.
“You think Rarity is right?” My voice cracked in a somber whisper hooves crossing over my chest delicately.
“Didn't say that either!” Scootaloo gave an eye roll hoof flicking a loose wheel on her axel casually.
“Then what is it!?” I slid up to my hooves trotting over to my friend confused I came to hang out in hope of relaxing, yet now felt uncertain.
“You have a tendency, to hear what you want.” Scootaloo sighed placing her chin upon her axel lacklusterly.
“Can't believe you're fighting me!” My voice felt weak as the sun above began to be hidden by growing grey clouds the day darkening once more.
“Not fighting Sweetie, just saying Rarity is the politest pony ever!” My friend gazed up from below to lock eyes on mine her long violet tail swishing in place calmly.
I bit my lower lip taking in her words with care. Watching as she leaned on her side grabbing an old rusted wrench boredly beginning to tighten the wheel on her scooter, each turn of the tool clicking loudly.
“Is it possible, you've just mistaken something out of context?” My friend smacked her hoof firmly against the wheel making sure it was locked in place.
“Then come over for dinner, if you don't believe me.” My lower lip pouted outward softly Scootaloo glancing upward to me in growing silence.
“Rumble wanted to…” She batted long lashes in my direction our gazes meeting before she groaned aloud in total defeat.
“Sure why not!?” Scootaloo flashed a mild smirk in my direction standing up to her hooves as she gave her coat a large shake.
I felt a warmth growing deep inside my soul from her response she was still a loyal friend after all these years. My eyes burning with the slight mist of tears, I couldn't find the words to say so instead used my actions.
Pulling in close I wrapped my trembling hooves around her neck. Scootaloo gasping in a bit of a shock I met my friend in a tight loving embrace of friendship. My pegasi friend returning the hug with care times might have changed but our friendship would last through the ages.
The edge of the table was completely empty, an overflowing plate of food untouched by pony hooves. I couldn't believe that Scootaloo didn't come over, my own plate untouched as well, once warm food cold and disgusting.
Mom had exited to the kitchen to wash dishes from another icy family dinner, each had chatted about the day at hoof. Yet I was never allowed into the conversation, only given hateful glances every few minutes.
Everypony disgusted by my mere presence.
Dad followed into the kitchen after only a few moments, leaving my tormentor to keep me unwanted company. A small white plate placed in front of her, a delicious slice of Black Forest Cake taunting me from across the table.
The fresh strawberries decorating the slice calling to me in a siren Song of desire, I could feel my tongue trace over my lower lip, my belly cramping from a sharp pain of hunger. Rarity used pale magic to lift a fork high into the air, easily plucking a piece from the slice in a swift motion.
"I know you're hiding food." Rarity sighed with regret.
"Scootaloo would've loved to hear that." I rolled my eyes sarcastically.
"This isn't a joke!" Rarity puffed out her cheeks, those horrid blue eyes burning into my very soul.
"So what if I am!?" I had enough, I slammed my hooves on the table with a loud echo.
"Do you know what doing that will do!?" Rarity shivered in a look of disgust.
"It will make me happy, it'll make me feel whole!" I fought back a flood of tears, my eyes burning with a sharp sting.
"Hiding food will only hurt you, you need to trust us." Rarity pursed her lips in a saddened manner.
"How can I?" I felt warm tears rolling down my cheeks.
"When I see nothing but hate in your eyes?" I began to sob defeated and alone.
"We don't hate you, Sweetie, we just need to help you." Mom poked her head into the room in a somber tone, her eyes locked onto me with an icy gaze.
"You too?" I could hear my voice crack, Mom walking into the room as she nodded with agreement.
"In time, you'll thank us." She began to close in on me.
"What you're doing is disgusting, it needs to stop." Rarity looked away coldly.
"I won't let you do this!" My heart began to face wildly, Mom reached out to grab my shoulder as I quickly pounced away.
"You can't run from this!" Rarity slammed a hoof down on the table in growing anger, I screamed in fear darting quickly towards the door.
"Grab her!" Mom hissed as I ran muzzle first into Dad, he towered over me with an intimidating glare of disappointment.
I shrieked in horror as his hooves wrapped around me roughly, I prayed that Scootaloo would appear at this moment to help me. Lifted off the floor I struggled widely to break free, Mom rushing over to hold my hooves in place.
"Settle down, it's for your own good!" Mom spoke in that sickening tone of voice, I could see Rarity sneer towards me from her pedestal of perfection.
"Go buck yourself!!" I lifted my hind hooves to kick my mother in the chest, she gasped with pain before lifting a hoof in anger.
With a loud pop, her hoof smacked across my cheek. The world around me spinning out of control, my ears ringing with a loud humming noise. I could only helplessly scream as my parents began to drag me deeper into this living nightmare, I just wanted to fade away from the pain which would surely come soon.
Before I knew what was happening, they tossed me into our spare guest room. I squealed in fear, this room claustrophobic and nearly empty except for a single twin bed. I tried to scramble to the door, my parents slamming the door closed before locking it shut.
"Please, I'm sorry!" My hooves weakly pressed atop the cold wooden surface, my heart-shattering in my chest.
My parents hated me.
"I don't want to be alone." I sobbed loudly as my body slid down the door.
My sister was disgusted.
"Please don't leave me." My body curled into a tiny shivering ball of fear.
My friend betrayed me.
This was just the start of my journey through hell.
