Confidence
By Night Thinker
The bar air was stiff and tangy, carrying all the typical aromas of an establishment dealing in the selling of alcohol. While not unbearably stuffy, the heat from all the gathered ponies and mood lighting created a haze that bathed the whole place in a surreal sheen. There was something oddly relaxing about it, particularly if it were viewed through the golden brown filter of cider in a glass. Everything seemed to have an odd glow, almost as if they were casting auras.
From her corner in the bar, Fluttershy looked nervously around the large room, feeling a touch of anxiety at all the other ponies gathered there. Though she was getting better, she still found these weekly meet-ups extremely intimidating – what if somepony were to walk over to her and start talking or, worse yet, flirt with her? At the thought, she dropped a few inches behind the table, her eyes darting around the room.
“What are you doing?”
Fluttershy’s large eyes peeked up, spying Rainbow Dash moving towards her with another glass of cider in her hoof.
Drawing up next to the table, the cerulean pony rolled her eyes at her timid friend. “You still haven’t touched the one I brought you.” She gestured to the cider with a pink twisty straw. “Drink up, the next round is on you!” Slipping into her chair, she took her own glass and sipped it, eyes closing as she enjoyed its taste.
Slowly raising herself up from her hiding place, Fluttershy looked uncertainly at the eight empty glasses in front of her friend. “You really should go easy on that stuff–” her advice was swiftly silenced by Rainbow’s scowl. “If that’s okay with you I mean...”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Be more forceful,” she admonished, before lifting the pint of cider to her mouth and chugging it down. As she swallowed the last mouthful of the tangy drink, she slammed the pint mug down to the table with a satisfied 'ahhhh' and grinned at her companion. “Nothing like a good cider after a hard day of work, eh Fluttershy?”
“Oh yes,” she gave a quick nod, “very satisfying.” Daintily leaning forward, she sipped her own cider through the straw. It was refreshing, helping to alleviate the heat of the pub which was making her feel a little dizzy. Now that Dash had returned, Fluttershy was feeling a lot calmer, though she felt a little guilty at the admission.
For about two months now, the two friends had met up every Friday in the evening, to go bar-hopping. Or rather, Rainbow Dash went bar-hopping, and Fluttershy made sure she didn’t hurt herself or do something really silly.
As per usual the night was ending in the same place it always did, in a cosy little pub by the name of the Timber Dragon. She looked around. Though she was generally not very sociable, except with her closest friends, Fluttershy did find this particular pub inviting. There was a calmness to it that helped to ease her, partly because it was never too busy to feel uncomfortable; even now, all the ponies that were there were simply chatting quietly with their friends, or drinking by themselves in a reserved fashion. It was quite dignified. It also helped that the owner was very pleasant to chat to, always polite, and always mindful of her withdrawn nature. Still, as much as she did like it, maybe even enjoyed it, she would never come here by herself. If it wasn’t for Dash, and her insistence, she’d probably spend the night wandering around her garden.
At that that thought, she looked again at Rainbow Dash, noticing the slightly dazed look in her eyes. The cider must finally be taking effect. It never ceased to amaze her just how much Dash could drink.
As she sipped her own drink, a smooth jazz tune began to spill into the pub. The lights dimmed slightly, casting a tanned, golden shade over the ponies as they drank and moved gently to the soothing rhythm. A chorus of warm brass swept in, accompanying the guitar’s melody at choice moments, filling the tune out and creating interesting musical paths for the ears to follow.
Fluttershy just listened, enjoying the music as it mingled with the lighting and the moody haze. Dash seemed to be doing the same, her eyes were closed, head gently nodding in time with the plodding bass line, her hoof gently counting the relaxed beat of the drums.
“It’s a nice tune,” she said, opening her eyes and smiling.
Returning the smile, Fluttershy leant forward to sip her drink. As she did, however, she spied a large, broadly-built stallion, dressed in a suit of robin-egg blue, approaching them.
Groaning, Rainbow Dash turned her head toward the newcomer.“Whaddya want Mike? I haven’t started any trouble!” she said, steadying herself on the edge of the table.
The barrel chested pony raised a thick eyebrow. “You never do – I’m just coming over to collect your glasses,” he turned and gave a reassuring smile to Fluttershy. “Enjoying yourself?”
She nodded, but didn’t say much else. Seeming to understand, Mike turned back to Rainbow Dash. “Take it easy, it’s not a race you know.”
At the word “race”, Rainbow slammed a hoof on the table. “Great idea! Get everypony together and let’s have a race! Put on some rock music, have a line of ciders ready - I’ll leave them in the dust.”
“I really don’t think that’s a good idea,” Mike said firmly. “Besides, tonight is Jazz night. Rock night is on Sunday.” He winked at Fluttershy, who smiled politely, before continuing. “I do appreciate you and your friend’s business Rainbow, but I do get worried about you. You tend to drink a lot.”
“No I don’t, and no I haven’t!” Rainbow protested, though the hoof she was pointing with was swaying incriminatingly.
Shaking his head, the large stallion turned to Fluttershy. “Sorry to do this to you again, Fluttershy, but do you reckon you can get her back home?”
Fluttershy gave a little nod. “Of course, it’s never a problem.”
“Thank you. The next time you’re here, your drink will be on the house.” He looked at Rainbow Dash. “Just take it easy okay?”
Rainbow Dash didn’t reply. Instead, she crossed her hooves and looked sulkily at the wall. Rolling his eyes, but smiling nonetheless, Mike took the empty glasses and turned from the table.
Cupping her hooves over her mouth, Rainbow Dash responded with a loud “BOOOO!” before sticking her tongue out at the departing bartender. Turning back to Fluttershy she gave a sour expression. “Why does he have to ruin our evening?”
Fluttershy didn’t reply, though a small smile was tugging at her lips. This is was a definite give away that Rainbow had drank more than she was admitting. It was like this every Friday night: Dash would have one, or rather six, too many, complain about Mike when he advised her to take it easy. Then the following morning, after she’d sobered up, she’d fly over and apologise to the old bartender and promise to be better next time. “He’s just looking out for you... I think you remind him of his daughter.”
“Daughter-smaughter,” Rainbow said with a dismissive wave of her hoof. Her eyes fell on Fluttershy's unfinished cider. “You gonna drink that?”
****
An hour later, Fluttershy found herself walking through the dark, quiet streets of Ponyville, trying to keep the now intoxicated Dash steady. Rainbow, meanwhile, kept singing old rock tunes, or perhaps saying titles and parts of the verses was a more accurate description. Raising her head she belted out “HOT LEGS! YOU’RE BURNING ME OUT –hic–” then she would giggle and mumble and hum the rest of the melody, before coming out with “I LOVE YA HONEY! DA, NAH NAH NAH-NAH!”
“I think you've have a bit too much... maybe?”
Stopping her butchering of “Hot Legs”, Rainbow Dash cast a sideward look at her friend. “Nah,” she insisted, “I didn’t have too much... I mean... look... –hic– I mean..." She pushed away from her friend, stumbling slightly as she did. "Okay, okay, okay... ready? Okay... watch this, I’m going to be –hic– awesome. See? See I... I can walk... see?”
Fluttershy pursed her lips. She did see, see that Rainbow was swaying and constantly having to adjust and correct herself, only to lean too heavily to one side and quickly catch herself. She cringed as Rainbow finally lost, collapsing into a heap.
“I’m not drunk!” the prideful pegasus exclaimed, raising a defiant hoof into the air. “I’m just intoxicated... with love... and... and happiness!”
“Um...”
“What!?”
“Well, it’s just I’m over here. That’s a bush you’re talking to,” Fluttershy explained, trying to keep the amused smile from her lips. She didn't want to be rude.
Rainbow Dash leant forward, eyes narrowing as she inspected the bush. “Well, er... it’s a good... bush,” she patted the bush with her hoof. “Very –hic– life like.”
“Oh yes, very life like.” Fluttershy moved next to her lifelong friend and helped her to her hooves.
“You realise I was –hic– just testing you... right?”
“Oh yes.” She nodded. “And I’m very glad that you do.”
As they resumed their walk, neither really spoke. A calm pleasantness had overcome the two of them; that rare quietness that accompanied truly great friends who were simply content to be in each other’s company, without the need for constant talk. A gentle breeze blew as they crossed the bridge that led away from Ponyville to Fluttershy’s cottage, ruffling the ponies manes. Smiling, Fluttershy closed her eyes, enjoying the sounds of the summer night, the soft croaks of frogs, the rustle of trees, and the hum and light drone of nighttime insects. To her ears, this was natural jazz, and so very peaceful.
“It’s really nice...” Rainbow Dash's voice came in gently. “I could get used to this...”
Opening her eyes, Fluttershy turned her head slightly and smiled at her friend. “It is, isn’t it? It’s so soothing... I really owe you for showing me this wonderful place.”
Rainbow Dash returned her smile. “You give me too much credit, Fluttershy ol’pal. I was just defending a –hic–urgh...” her head drooped.
“Just lean on me,” Fluttershy said gently, shifting herself slightly to allow more of her friend onto her back. “We’re nearly home.”
“Hey, Flutter... do you –hic– do you...” Rainbow Dash closed her eyes and exhaled slowly.
Fluttershy waited, faintly curious as to her friend’s drunk – “intoxicated”–, she corrected, thoughts.
Opening her eyes, Rainbow Dash tried again. “What do you think is going on with Twilight and Rarity?”
Fluttershy blinked, surprised by the suddenness of the question. “I don’t know,” she admitted, though in truth it was a topic that was never too far from her mind. In fact it was a regular subject between the rest of their group of friends.
For some time now the four of them (that was to say herself, Rainbow, Applejack and Pinkie) had been debating on whether or not the relationship between the two unicorns had developed into something more intimate. At first they had all laughed at the idea – not so much because of Twilight, but because of Rarity.
“Ah doubt it,” Applejack had said. “Ah’ll tell ya now; Rarity only has eyes for a handsome stallion, probably with one of them fancy names.”
“Yeah, with a lot of money! Oodles and oodles of bits! ” Pinkie had chimed in, before bursting into a fit of giggles, most likely at the word 'oodles'.
In truth, that was how they all saw it. After all, there was no real reason to suspect anything. Rainbow met up with Twilight once a week to read with her, while Fluttershy met up with Rarity for their weekly spa session. It was just something friends did. But then they started seeing hints that the friendship might be more than they had suspected.
It was the little things, such as Rarity often being at Twilight’s library, or seeing the two together around town, sharing meals or a friendly drink. Also, for a pony not too concerned with fashion, Twilight did seem to be spending more time at Rarity’s boutique. And for a pony not too concerned with stars and constellations, Rarity was spending a large amount of time with Twilight stargazing. But all that could be explained as mere friendliness, or growing interests in a new subject.
However, there did seem to be an intimacy between the two of them, such as the two sitting very close to each other at picnics, or the way their eyes passed each other. Those had been the hints that had the rest of the group wondering if they were together.
Privately, Fluttershy hoped so. Rarity’s personality, while thoughtful, usually well meaning and kind, could be a bit much for some ponies; she could be quite the drama queen. It was Fluttershy's opinion that Twilight Sparkle complemented the white unicorn’s mood and manner – often being a voice of reason, and helping Rarity whenever her generosity and desire to please got the better of her.
Likewise, Rarity could offer support whenever Twilight felt overwhelmed. Also a relationship with the fashionista would guarantee Twilight wouldn’t get too absorbed in her research and study, helping her to learn to pace herself and appreciate the now; to not always be worried about every little detail, or to be so rigid and bound to lists and schedules. Fluttershy also wondered how much Rarity’s business would boom with somepony as organised as Twilight keeping track of orders and making sure the white unicorn kept to her schedules, helping her prioritize.
They were also both very similar, creative and infused with magic, but also, at least in Fluttershy's mind, on an intellectual level. Rarity, obsessed with the constant betterment of herself, could talk to Twilight in a way that the others simply couldn’t, usually able to follow the purple unicorn whenever she got too technical in her terminology and explanations.
“Fluttershy pal... You going to open the door, or are we sleeping out here?” Rainbow Dash looked up at the sky. “Nice night though.”
Fluttershy started. She’d been so lost in her thoughts that she’d utterly failed to notice that they’d arrived at her home. Blushing slightly, she propped Rainbow Dash against the door and fetched her keys from the plant pot under the windowsill. Unlocking the door, she stepped aside as Rainbow slumped through with the opening door and trotted unevenly inside.
Following her, flicking the light switch as she did, Fluttershy’s watched as her friend collapsed onto the sofa.
“Would you like some water?” Fluttershy offered, concerned for the rainbow pegasus. She really had overdone it.
Groaning, Rainbow Dash lifted her head and blinked, perhaps adjusting her eyes to the cottage light, before resting her head against a large cushion. “Nah... just gimme me a sec... ahhh...” she exhaled slowly, her tail swaying gently. “You know, it must be nice...” she murmured, closing her eyes. “I hope they’re –hic– happy...”
Fluttershy remained silent, surprised by the pegasus’s tone. It had been oddly tender, almost wistful.
“You’re talking about Rarity and Twilight... right?”
Rainbow gave a light nod.
“Well,” Fluttershy began, “if it is true, then I’m very happy for them. They make a wonderful couple.”
Opening her eyes, Rainbow Dash looked at her friend. “Kinda weird... doncha think?” she asked. “I always figured Rarity only ever liked stallions. Didn’t think she’d be into mares.”
Responding with a shrug, Fluttershy turned and headed towards the kitchen. “Rarity’s thoughts and tastes are her own.” she said over her shoulder. “Besides we could be wrong.” Opening her cupboard she took out a jug and two glasses. Filling the jug up with water, and placing it and the glasses on a tray, she plodded back to the living room. To her surprise, Rainbow smirking at her. “Um... is something wrong?” Fluttershy asked, setting the tray down.
Rainbow's smirk widened. “You think we’re wrong about Rarity and Twilight, doncha?”
Pouring a glass for herself, Fluttershy replied with another light shrug. “I don’t know,” she said. “We can’t really know... not unless they tell us...”
“Or we see it – hic – I saw...” Rainbow Dash paused, collecting her lost sentence. “I saw... I... I saw her... –hic– her and Twilight...”
The timid pony's eyes widened. “Oh my," she gasped. "Oh! I mean... what did you see?”
“Well,” Rainbow began, somewhat shakily. “I was –hic– sorry... gah...” leaning against the sofa’s armrest, the she rubbed a hoof over her face, before giving her head another brisk shake.
“Feel better?” Fluttershy asked, pouring another glass of water and setting it next to her friend.
“A little bit.” Rainbow looked imploringly at her. “Where was I?”
“Um... well... you didn’t say much; except for you’d seen Twilight and Rarity.” Fluttershy sipped her water.
“Oh yeah,” Rainbow Dash grinned and settled back onto her cushion. “Okay, perhaps I am drunk...sorry... I always feel like I’m a real problem for you sometimes...”
“Oh I don’t think so,” Fluttershy said, cheeks pinking slightly. It was funny how a few drops, or rather glasses, of cider could make the brash and boastful pegasus modest.
“How do you put up with me?” Rainbow questioned as she took the glass and sipped it slowly.
Fluttershy didn’t reply immediately, instead choosing to look into her glass and the light bouncing off the ripples. “I guess...” she began. “I guess it’s because I really admire you... I always have... ever since we were fillies.”
“Yeah...” Rainbow said slowly. “I am rather awesome, aren’t I?”
Fluttershy repressed a smile. Almost modest.
“But you’re awesome too, you know...” Rainbow blurted, as though she feared she might have offended her friend. “I mean you’re so compassionate and put up with everything I do... I feel like there's nopony I can talk to like I can talk to you... I mean..." Her hoof began to trace an awkward circle in the sofa. "Look, I really trust you... okay?”
A small smile touched Fluttershy. It was so rare for Dash to be this honest about her feelings on their friendship, that it was actually very nice to hear it. Of course, Fluttershy felt the same way. Though she wouldn't say it out loud, for fearing of hurting the other ponies' feelings, she did feel there was connection between her and Dash that was deeper than with the others,even if it were simply a case of shared history.
“I really trust you too, Dash.” She shared a smile with the mare on the sofa as she settled her head against the cushion.
A gentle silence fell over the two friends as they sat, listening to the tick of the clock as it counted each second. Neither spoke, the presence of the other being enough.
“Thanks for getting lost in the moment with me...” Dash broke in softly, looking up from her cushion.
“Oh!” Fluttershy blushed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to... I mean... I’m sorry.” The silence that followed this time was a bit more awkward, at least for her it was. Rainbow didn’t seem to notice. Instead, the intoxicated mare just closed her eyes and enjoyed the silence.
"Um..."
Rainbow opened an eye lazily. "Yeah?"
"Well, it's just... I mean, I don't want to pry or anything, it's just... you were telling me about Rarity and Twilight?"
“Huh? Oh! Right, right, sorry, I totally forgot.” Shifting herself on the sofa into a sitting position, and allowing a few seconds for her body to get used to the change in gravity, Rainbow looked at her quiet friend.
“Anyway, I was going to meet Twilight for our weekly reading session. But on the way, I saw... sorry... I saw Spike. He told me that Rarity and Twilight were working on something and had sent him to collect some items... I was suspicious. I knew Rarity had some of the items on the list, and it seemed like unnecessary work for Spike.” Rainbow Dash paused. “Can I get some water?”
Nodding, Fluttershy poured another glass and passed it across.
Rainbow took a large gulp and continued recounting her story. “I thought it was odd, and since we’d all been talking about Rarity and Twilight, I figured I’d go and take a look – see if I could catch them in the act. So I go all stealth and sneak over to Twilight’s library. The top window was open so I slipped in, and guess who I see in the main room?”
“Um... Rarity and Twilight?”
Rainbow smirked. “Figured that out all on your own? Just teasing,” she added quickly. “Anyway, they were just sitting next to each other, Rarity was napping I think, and Twilight was reading, big surprise right? Anyway... I think Rarity must have said something, because Twilight stopped reading and turned to her... and...”
“And?”
“Kissed...” Rainbow Dash said, though her tone suggested she didn’t quite believe it. She paused. “Huh... You know, that story sounded so much cooler in my head.”
Fluttershy giggled. “Are you sure you saw them kiss?”
“Yes, it’s all true” Rainbow said. “I just slipped out of the window and then knocked on the front door. Sure enough Rarity trotted out, thanking Twilight for some book on fashion, and left. I spent the afternoon with Twilight... though she seemed distracted the whole time.”
“Perhaps she was thinking about Rarity? Oh!” Fluttershy gasped. “Spike! Poor Spike. I mean that’s wonderful and everything, and I’m really very happy for Rarity and Twilight, I really am... but... poor Spike. I wonder how he’ll take it...” Realising she was rambling, she trailed off, feeling slightly embarrassed. “It’s probably why they haven’t told anypony yet...” she said slowly. “They probably don’t want to hurt his feelings...”
“Nah... I don’t think that’s it... or at least not entirely.” Rainbow settled back down on the sofa, letting her eyes drift to the ceiling. “How about you?”
“Huh?” Fluttershy blinked.
Rainbow Dash turned her head slightly. “Is there anypony you like? You know, as in, like like?”
“Oh... eh... well no,” Fluttershy admitted, surprised by the shift in the conversation, “but there are those I really admire; like Rarity and Applejack, Twilight... Oh! And Derpy.”
“Derpy?” Rainbow Dash chuckled. “Come on...”
“Oh no, I truly do,” Fluttershy insisted meekly. “I mean she works so hard and is always happy to help. I’ve never seen her be mean or nasty.”
“I guess I see where you’re coming from,” Rainbow said. She scratched her chin thoughtfully. “Do you ever tell them that?”
“Oh no, no, no,” Fluttershy said, shaking her head. “I don’t feel comfortable doing so...”
Rainbow Dash’s mouth twisted into a small scowl. “Know what your problem is?”
“Oh, uh, no...” Fluttershy admitted, one hoof nervously rubbing the floor.
Rolling her eyes, Rainbow shifted her body the sofa till she was sitting up again. “Con –hic– ah nuts!”
“Excuse me?” Fluttershy began.
Rainbow Dash shook her head briskly, once again trying to get her thoughts in order. “Confidence! Your problem is confidence,” she said, pointing a hoof at her. “You lack confidence!”
“Oh...” Again Fluttershy scraped her hoof against the wooden floor. “I thought that was very obvious...”
“It is,” Dash admitted. “But it isn’t the only thing that defines you... you know? You’re a cool pony... and I’m proud to know you. What you need to be is...” she stepped off the sofa and moved, somewhat shakily, forward, placing two hoofs lightly on pink-maned pony's shoulders. “You need to... need to... be... errr...”
“More assertive?” Fluttershy offered.
“Yeah! Be assertive!”
Fluttershy’s ears drooped. “But I find that hard... and when I go too far I can hurt feelings... and that isn’t nice...” she felt a ripple of guilt as she remembered Rarity and Pinkie’s crying faces as they ran from her.
“Yeah... but that doesn’t mean you should give up.” Rainbow gave a wide smile. “Do you know what you should totally do?” she asked.
“Um, no... what should I do?”
“Well first,” Rainbow began, leaning closely towards her friend. “You need to find that somepony you’re just crazy about, you know? Imagine you’ve met this great stallion, who's totally awesome and cool. You should walk up to him and say "I think you’re awesome" and then do this -”
Fluttershy’s eyes widened as she felt their lips meet. Rainbow’s movement had been quick and surprisingly graceful, catching her completely off guard. She was frozen in the spot, heart hammering in her chest, her face erupting in several shades of pink and red. Dash, on the other hoof, was perfectly calm. She wasn’t forceful, but oddly tender. Slowly, Fluttershy felt her eyes close as she allowed herself to fall into the kiss. As they parted, she opened her eyes and saw Dash smiling at her, her cerise eyes half-lidded.
“That’s what you do...” Rainbow said gently, before turning and moving back to the sofa. “Well goodnight, Fluttershy ol’pal, I need to sleep... my head’s hurting...”
“Oh, um...” Fluttershy blinked, as if she’d just remembered who she was and where she was. “Good night, Rainbow... sleep well...” she trailed off. Her sentiment had fallen on deaf ears; Dash was already curled up on the sofa.
Getting to her hooves, Fluttershy grabbed a folded blanket and draped it over her sleeping friend. For a while she just sat, watching the brave pegasus sleep, her eyes slipping back to the slightly parted mouth and the lips that had, mere moments ago, been on hers. Slowly she brought her hoof to her own lips, still not quite believing what had happened. It probably didn’t mean anything, considering Rainbow Dash was drunk.
Still... it had been nice. But with that admission, there was a pang of sadness. Dash was heavily drunk and probably wouldn’t remember anything... Fluttershy's ears drooped as she felt a dull throb in her chest. Didn't that mean that nothing would be awkward between them? Surely that could only be a good thing...
This was confusing her. She waited for a few more seconds, then, sighing, she turned for her bedroom. As she climbed the stairs, she replayed the kiss in her mind. It had been nice, maybe even wonderful, and she was surprised by how tender and gentle Dash had been with her. But... Dash wouldn’t remember...
Closing her eyes, Fluttershy pushed open the door to her bedroom and slipped under the covers.
Maybe this was for the best. After all, she and Dash did have a special friendship, and she would hate to ruin it over a single drunken kiss.
Author's Notes Well, well, well, looks whose given in and written a pony fanfiction? So, yes it my first and probably not my last, any thoughts and feedback would be greatly appreciated. I've re-edited it, hopefully getting rid of all the typos and spelling errors. The two songs mentioned the fic can be found below, hope you enjoy.
H.M. Blues - Larry Carlton
Hot Legs - Rod Stewart
I would also like to thank "Specklegriffon" for his time in helping me correct and edit this - twas nice to finally find an editor. And I’d like to extend a thank you to “Nonameknight” for his excellent edits as well. Also, due to proper demand and a few death threat there is now a sequel which can be found here.
Till next time dear reader.
Night Thinker
