Chic, Unique, et Magnifique

by Split Scimitar

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Mario, Human, Sweetie Belle, Alternate Universe, Rarity (EqG), Original Character, Equestria Girls
Length: 5041

When Rarity needs to return to San Francisco after a collaboration in Los Angeles, a mutual connection starts something new.

Rarity is an accomplished dress designer based in White Plains, NY. Her designs have caught the eye of the owner of an upper echelon by-appointment-only shop with locations in Beverly Hills, CA and Fifth Avenue, NYC. They have just finished debuting a collaboration, with Rarity’s dresses designed as perfect complements to the men’s collections of the Beverly Hills store. Now, Rarity needs to return to San Francisco so she can work on her next collection.

Enter me. My name is Split Scimitar, but I just go by Max. I‘m a pilot with a pretty sweet gig: my own on-demand charter service with a fleet of airliners. I own 2 airports, one in Southern California and one in Chicago, which serve as my “hubs.” I spend most of my time in California, as my wife Rosalina runs a helicopter tour business in Hawaii. I have a controlling interest in the clothing shop, but I still let them do their own thing. In addition to my wonderful fleet of airplanes, my true party piece is my garage so large, I’ve lost count.

In short, my life is pretty much perfect. And it’s about to get better.

Mario tag only because I’m married to Rosalina. No other characters appear.

Rated T for one reference to sex.

(P.S. April 19, 2018 is the day I officially joined the herd. No better time to upload than the 1 year anniversary.)

Published 2019-04-20 15:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2019-04-20 15:30:02 UTC

The Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship

Time for an irregularly scheduled trip to Rodeo Drive. Rosalina’s idea based largely on getting out of the desert, I by random choice grab my Escalade, license plate ‘MLPFIM10.’

Once out of my airport, I ping the sat nav to traffic check and get time stamps. Minimal traffic along our route allows for an ungodly cruising speed of 90 and plenty of time for lunch.

When I put our name down, Rosalina decides to go shopping, so I give her some money, which she refuses. In due time, we claim our table and order our usual, passing time chatting about life and other things, enjoying our company all the same.

In Los Angeles, we hit heavy stop and go traffic from Nickel and Dime to Union Station. Nothing unusual, I take Hollywood Blvd despite the sat nav giving us I-10 through South Town. In no time at all, we reach Rodeo Drive, where a gold plated Rolls Royce Phantom attracts plenty of onlookers.

The owner of the store steps out of the car and gives me a wave. I immediately drop my indicator and park right in front of him. After we exchange some pleasantries, I ask if Rosalina wants to explore the store, since it’s her first time and there are no clients scheduled. She accepts and half heartedly asks for some money. I give her one of my debit cards before the owner says,

“You won’t be disappointed!” He then turns back to me and says, “Oh, our guest designer needs your help with dresses. Lucky we ran into each other.”

“Oh? Okay. Except that I don’t exactly have the body for it.”

“No, silly! She needs to travel back to San Francisco so she can debut her next collection.” He says as Rosalina chuckles at my comment.

“Is she in right now?”

“Yeah, she’s actually been expecting you. I promised her you could be available for chartering.”

“I look forward to meeting her.”

Once he starts assisting Rosalina, I head to the back. As I find my way around, I follow the trail of dresses on mannequins both finished and in progress. I give a few quaint knocks on the door, since there is an obvious “do not disturb” aura about the studio.

A few seconds later, a lively youth peers her head out of the door.

“Rarity’s in the zone, as it were. She’ll be with you shortly.” She says softly.

“Ok. Thank you.” I respond in kind as she closes the door behind her.

While I wait, I decide to peruse the dresses in the hall. The designs are quite intricate. Even though I have no eye for fashion whatsoever, it’s clear from the assortment before me that any ensemble featuring these pieces would be nothing short of a smorgasbord for the eyes, while still leaving much to the imagination.

A few minutes later, the door opens.

“You must be the Captain.” The elder says with a noticeably frazzled gait.

“Split Scimitar, at your service.” I reply with a tip of my nonexistent hat. “I just go by Max. You are Rarity?”

“Yesindeedidoodle! I take it you’ve met my little sister Sweetie Belle?”

“Hello!” She waves gleefully, which I mirror in response.

“As I’m sure you know,” Rarity continues, “I need to get back to San Francisco so I can finish my next line.”

“I can get you there! Where’s your boutique?”

“Union Square.”

“Ooh. Prime real estate.”

“I know, and it doesn’t come cheap. But it is one of my most profitable locations.”

“So what brought you to Los Angeles?”

“Well, that’s obvious, darling!”

“Fair enough. How did you meet your contact?”

“We met at my home base in White Plains. I eventually made an appointment to shop at the 5th Avenue location after our first meeting, and from there I began designing dresses inspired by his collections.”

“I must say, they’re stunning.”

“Why, thank you.” She blushes, mostly out of exhaustion. “Since your wife is… occupied, let’s get my dresses loaded.”

“Yay!” I exclaim as I accidentally bump a bare mannequin, which elicits a chuckle.

Already on top of things, Sweetie Belle carries out a couple of dresses in garment bags. I show her to the car and pop the boot. Being careful not to damage the priceless automotive masterpiece behind us, I hop in and lower the garment hooks. Since I’m already inside the car, Sweetie Belle plays the handoff game while I hang them all up.

A second trip yields only two more completed dresses as Rarity runs out of garment bags. All the others are still works in progress. While we wait for Rarity and Rosalina, I make some small chat with Sweetie Belle.

“So, what’s it like with a sister like Rarity?”

“It’s definitely an adventure.” She says withholding some details. “But I love her to death!”

“Lucky you.”

“Huh?”

“Some would wish they had someone like that.” I say raising my hand.

“That got real, really quick.”

“I gotta admit, I do kind of envy you. Long story short, I’m not a doctor or something with a prolifically high salary. I am therefore a disappointment to my family. Got dishonored for it.”

“Oh.” She sighs. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. My life, my choice.”

“Well, I’m sure that was a big mistake on their part. We may have just met today, but I’d be proud to call you a friend.”

“Thank you, I appreciate it. I like you, Sweetie Belle. Thanks for calling me a friend.”

“Aw.” She says with a bit of a blush. “I think we’ll get along just fine.”

“That’s the idea.” I quip back with a wink, to which she giggles.

As we share some more laughs, Rosalina comes out of the store with a dress of her own. I ask if she has a receipt, and she presents it to me. Looks like she spent towards the better end of $7,000. Shortly after, Rarity emerges from the studio and says goodbye to the owner. Once loaded and secure, the four of us climb into my car as the shop closes for the day.

Once out of 90210, Rosalina takes to take care of the flight plan, to Oakland. No argument for either San Francisco or San Jose, I only respond with a “thank you.”

“When do you think we’ll land?” Rarity asks as she surfs on her phone.

“Probably in about… three hours, with traffic like this.”

“Oh no.” She mutters as she frantically starts to text.

“Worse comes to worse, we can just drive up. You don’t mind, do you Rosalina?”

“Not at all.”

“Make your decision within the next 2 minutes. The 405 is right there. It’ll mean the difference between going North and South.”

“How long by road?”

“Six hours, roughly. By comparison, it takes two hours to get to my airport, another hour or so to load and get going, an hour of flight time, and then another half hour or so after we land.”

“No, no. You’re the Captain. We should fly.”

“Don’t let my title bias you any one way. I don’t mind driving, and the difference is only an hour. Would you rather save the time and fly or add an hour and just drive? It’s up to you. An airliner to yourselves or as we are now for the next 6 hours.”

“I stand with my previous decision. Let’s fly.”

“Very well.” I respond. “What part of town are you from?” I ask jumping onto the 405 South.

“My home base and studio is in White Plains. My dream is to make it to Manhattan. However, my flagship boutique is in San Francisco. Los Angeles was an incredible opportunity. I have a feeling I’ll have to add them as a third base.”

“As the majority owner of the company, and from your designs today, I will endorse you.”

“Why, thank you.” She blushes again.

After the 405, we queue along I-10 and eventually make for 605. When we reach 210, despite heavy traffic from Upland to Ontario, we quickly charge for Cajon Pass and reach Victorville about 10 minutes ahead of schedule.

When we roll up to N304JB, I park the car and show the sisters to the terminal so they can use the bathroom before we leave. A quick check of fuel and other things places us at plenty for both the outbound and inbound legs, with plenty to spare. After Rosalina and I preflight and load the cargo, I head inside and page them via the terminal intercom.

“Attention in the terminal, this announcement serves as the final boarding call for passengers Rarity and Sweetie Belle. Please report to your gate for an on-time departure to Oakland. We cannot leave without you.”

No sooner do I hang up the mic do the two grab their things and head down the jetway. I follow them down and oblige them with a, “welcome aboard. Open seating. Sorry, all economy. We’re all equal here.”

“Thanks.” Rarity chuckles nervously as she settles into her seat.

“Thank you so much for doing this for us.” Sweetie Belle says graciously as she too gets seated.

“Of course. I really love your designs! I give you all the respect in the world for that.”

“As I shall expect the same from you in the air. My good friend Rainbow Dash is a pilot too, though in a much different... capacity.”

“Military?”

“Blue Angel.” She nods.

“Maybe we’ll catch her at a fleet week sometime?”

“Not likely. She’s still a reserve.”

“Oh. Well, one day, right?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Alright, now that we’re all settled, please do pay attention to me for this announcement: to fasten your seatbelt, insert the metal tip into the buckle, tighten with the strap. Should fit low and snug across your hips. To unfasten, lift the flap and separate the two ends. There are 6 exits on this aircraft, an Embraer E190: two in the front, two overwing exits, and two in the rear. Instructions on their operation are on the safety information card. Since we’re all, um, concentrated here in the front, please take a moment to observe the nearest exit, and be advised it *may* be behind you.”

I pause for a breath as the sisters laugh at what they see as nothing more than a charade. “Even if the seatbelt sign is off, we do request that you remain in your seats with your seatbelt securely fastened in case of any unexpected rough air, turbulence, evasive maneuvers…” I pause again and watch their faces drop.

Picking up quickly where I left off, “in the unlikely event of a water evacuation, your seat cushion does function as a flotation device. To operate the life jackets, place the vest over your shoulders, fasten the buckle around your waist, and tighten with the strap. To inflate the vest, pull the tab at your waist or blow into the tube at shoulder level to inflate the vest manually. Your vest is equipped with an LED that will automatically activate upon contact with water. In the event of an unexpected drop or loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the compartments above your head. Pull down on the mask to initiate the flow of oxygen, place the mask over your nose and mouth, tighten with the straps on the side, and breathe normally, even though the plastic bag may not inflate. Please secure your own mask before assisting others, and also at this time please consider reviewing the safety information card. It is forbidden to smoke onboard an aircraft, and it is against federal law to tamper with, disable, or destroy a lavatory smoke detector. Speaking of lavatories, there are 2 onboard. One here off my right and another one in the rear. Federal law also requires compliance with lighted signs, posted placards, and crew member instructions. Additional comments, questions, or concerns can be directed to a crew member. Approximate flight time to Oakland this evening is 55 minutes, so please sit back, relax, and enjoy this evening’s flight. Thank you.”

I hang up the PA and ask, “what time is your model arriving?”

“I think 22:00 or so.”

“Airport?”

“Not sure, probably San Francisco.”

“Will she need to be picked up?”

“Don’t think so.”

“Sounds good.” I respond. With that, Rosalina shuts and arms the cabin door, and I then retract the jetway and start the remote control tug, both via Bluetooth. After pushing back a safe distance, we start the engines.

1 engine alight and stable!

2 alight, stable.

Taxi to runway 35, Rosalina with the clearance.

“Joshua Departure, Rarity 6, IFR to Oakland.”

“Rarity 6, cleared to Oakland Airport via ETHER V12 PMD V137 AVE.PXN6. Maintain 8,000, expect FL240. Departure this frequency, 124.55, squawk 2010, clearance void 30 minutes from now.”

“Cleared to Oakland via ETHER, Victor 12, Palmdale, Victor 137, Avenal, Panoche 6 arrival. Climb and maintain 8,000, expect 240, departure 124.55, 2010, void in a half hour, Rarity 6.”

“Rarity 6, readback correct. Talk to you on the go.”

By the time Joshua Approach breaks, we’re all lined up and ready to go.

Hands together, spool up, power set.

Airspeed alive. Gauges in the green.

80 knots.

V1

Rotate.

V2

Positive rate, gear up.

Flaps up.

“Joshua departure, Rarity 6, off Victorville, 4,500 climbing 8,000.”

“Rarity 6, Joshua departure, radar contact. Proceed direct PMD, climb and maintain Flight Level 180.”

“Direct Palmdale, climb to FL180, Rarity 6.”

“Rarity 6, contact Los Angeles center, 126.35.”

“126.35, Rarity 6.” Rosalina responds. “Los Angeles Center, Rarity 6, 8.7 for 180.”

“Rarity 6, Los Angeles Center, Roger.”

In no time at all, we reach our cruise of 32,000’ and keep the power in to minimize our travel time like Southwest fresh off a departure delay. If they can race from Ontario to Oakland in 35 minutes A14, we can do Victorville to Oakland in about 55 minutes D0.

“Ladies and gentlemen, as we begin our descent into Oakland, please return your chair backs and tray tables to the full upright and locked position, please lower your armrests, open your windows, and stow all loose articles and other cabin baggage for landing. Thank you.”

“Rarity 6, descend via the Panoche Six, expect runway 10R.”

“Panoche Six, expect 10R, Rarity 6.”

Eventually, we poke out of a thin overcast layer to a view of the bay. Fortunately for us, our vector course allows for such a view off the right, which I announce on the PA. Our vectors take us to the final approach course for runway 12, then “circle” to 10R. Due to the shorter-than-normal runway, I as the pilot get to have a little extra fun.

50.

40.

30.

20.

10.

Touchdown! Spoilers up, brakes on. 2 in reverse.

40 knots, disengage reverse thrust; had to use all the runway.

“Rarity 6, left at B, taxi Kaiser via B, cross runway 28R, then via C, monitor ground .9.”

“Left at B, Kaiser via B C, cleared across 28R, monitor ground, Rarity 6.”

“On behalf of your cabin crew this evening, we’d like to welcome you to Oakland. Local time and weather 21:04, 64º, clear skies, gentle wind from the northwest. For your continued comfort and safety, please remain seated with your seatbelts securely fastened until the aircraft has come to a complete stop and the seatbelt sign has been turned off. Please remember to gather all personal belongings with you, as this is the termination of our flight. Certainly has been a pleasure serving you this evening, and we hope to see you again soon on a future flight. Thanks again, welcome to Oakland.”

Parked at Kaiser’s ramp, I decline aircraft services and take care of all fees now while Rosalina requests a luxury rental car. Making up for some lost time in L.A. traffic, we’re quickly passing Oakland’s sports arenas en route to the Bay Bridge.

Once we clear Treasure/Yerba Buena, I smile proudly as San Francisco backdrops the view ahead. I ask for an address, and Rarity clarifies that she maintains a living quarters at the boutique. Sweetie Belle on the other ~~hoof~~ hand responds with, “just a short distance away.”

“Oh? Whereabouts?”

“Minneapolis.” She blushes holding back a chuckle.

“Interesting.” I respond chuckling at her futile attempt to stifle a giggle.

With some turn by turn, we reach the boutique. Though rather small, it’s still famous within the city. A wonderful assortment of dresses scattered all across the shop floor meet my eyes. Rarity then opens the door to her office and says, “Okay. Bring all the dresses in here, and then that’ll be it.”

After we move the mannequins into the boutique under canvas, Rarity thanks me as Rosalina and I prepare to “close the tab.” Just before I put the car in gear, Sweetie Belle emerges from the boutique. She gives me a small box, and in exchange I give her two copies of my business card.

Just as I get the car rolling, Rosalina files the flight plan for the journey home. When we stop at the light for the I-80 – Bay Bridge on-ramp, I open the box revealing a pair of pins. One bears a lone eighth note, the other a trio of diamonds. I’m not sure what they mean exactly, but I reckon I’ll get to know them well enough that I’ll understand.

Nevertheless, just as the light turns green and I set the box down in a cup holder, I give a good rev to join Bay Bridge traffic. Just as we settle in on the lower level, Rarity calls.

“Hello?”

“Fluttershy’s ride just cancelled! Can you pick her up??”

“Which airport?”

“San Francisco.”

“I can.” I say as I ask my wife with my eyes. She smiles and approves as I say, “is she waiting at baggage claim or did she just land?”

“She just texted me, so probably anywhere in between.”

“Well,” I say as I slide into the left lane, “Can I pick you up? I don’t want to scare her since it’s not exactly a scheduled pickup. You know, strangers in Black SUV’s and all.”

“Yes, please do. At least you’re not in a white van.”

“Ha! Right, I’ll be over quick as I can. You caught us at a good time. Be back in about 10 minutes.”

“Thank you.”

“No problem, we’ll see you in a few.”

“Bye.”

With that, I give the brakes a run for their money as we skid into Yerba Buena. Once back on I-80 W, narrowly avoiding the toll plaza, I check the radar detector, pick up speed, and head back to Union Square.

When we get back, Rarity is waiting for us at the curb and jumps in just as Rosalina sets the sat nav for SFO.

“Airline?” I ask as soon as she shuts the door.

“Alaska.”

“Cool.” I respond as I fight my way back to 101. In no time, with its usual places crawling, I head for terminal loop and slowly find my way to the Alaska Airlines arrivals. Since this is SFO, there is still some *subtle* Virgin America signage, which makes me laugh. Rarity opens the window and keeps her eyes peeled for our passenger.

“There she is!” She exclaims dropping the window and calling, “Fluttershy!!”

She waves to us and then picks up her bags. I drop the indicator, sneak in front of a parked Cayenne, and put her in park. Rarity meets her as I summon the auto-boot. I then get out and meet Fluttershy myself.

“Max, this is Fluttershy, my best friend and model for my dresses.”

“Hi Max.” She says shying away, “My name is Fluttershy.” She finishes so timidly I almost ask her to repeat herself.

“Hello, Fluttershy. Nice to meet you. Are you staying with Rarity?” I ask as I offer to load her bags.

“Oh, um, yes. Yes I am.”

“Alright. Let’s get going.” I say closing the boot as both passengers climb in.

When I get back in, Rosalina is finishing a sentence. “It’s nice to see friends helping each other out.”

“Oh yes it is indeed.” They both agree.

“Captain Max here was kind enough to shuttle Sweetie Belle and I up from Los Angeles.” Rarity says just as I put my belt on.

“That’s nice.”

“If you’d like, I can extend my services to you. You get a whole airliner to yourself, anywhere you want to go.”

“Oh, I mean, if you don’t mind. I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you.”

“No, no, no. Of course not. I wouldn’t offer if it was. It’s entirely up to you. I operate on demand with minimum 4 hours notice. You get a whole airplane to yourself, anywhere you’d like, and you can bring your friends.”

“Oh, okay...” Fluttershy responds.

“Would you try? Just give it a chance?”

“Um, sure, okay, if you don’t mind.”

“Perfect! Um, I mean, yay.” I finish, afraid of being too loud.

Before long, we return to Union Square, where I officially close the tab. I unload their bags, and Rarity then tells me,

“I’ll be here for a little while. Don’t worry about taking me back home.”

“Why not?”

“I wouldn’t expect you to be able to take us across the country, never mind on a private jet you fly. I feel like I’m asking too much of you.”

“Well, it’s not really a private jet. Most of my airplanes are configured exactly as the last airline to operate them, inside and out. And besides, I actually enjoy these kinds of flights.”

“Even so, I’m very glad I can charter you now.”

“I’m glad. And since you’re in White Plains, so long as I can avoid the New York Class Busy airspace, then Westchester would work perfectly.”

“Even better!!”

“I need to introduce you to the herd… I mean, my other friends.”

“Just let me know when you need me, and I’ll be there.”

“You are such a star! Can I hug you?”

“Of course!”

We share a hug before I call out “pleasure meeting you Fluttershy. I hope we’ll meet again.”

“Likewise. I’m sure we will.”

“Bye.”

“See you later!” They both call as I climb in and program the sat nav.

“So sorry.” I say as I program Oakland International.

“It’s fine.” She says stopping my hand. “It’s already late. I wouldn’t mind staying here overnight.”

“Let’s go to Lombard. Most of the traffic has died down. What about clothes though?”

“I’ll be fine.”

“But you don’t have an overnight bag. I keep a small stash of clothes at every place, so I can just swap out an extra set. Do you mind wearing some of my clothes for the trip home?”

“Oh, I don’t think I will.” She says as she reaches her hand out for holding.

I briefly eye the rings on her finger. I look at her then the rings again. Oh, how lucky I am to be married to her.

Soon, we reach Lombard Street. The house is located right on the hairpins, so entering and leaving can be a bit of a dance. Good thing it’s already dark, so the hairpins are pretty much empty.

Next morning, we set out early for Oakland to try and get out before the rush. Once we cross the Bay Bridge and file the flight plan, we take our time preflighting and get airborne quickly to clear the airspace before the morning airline rush.

When we land, I take FRU-FRU, a Porsche 911 GT3RS, for a few laps around the airport. In the middle of a speed run down the 15,000’ runway 35, Rosalina calls me to talk about returning to Hawaii, since it’s been a few months since the last time she was out there. Keen on making a flight out, at this time of the year, she works out of the Kauai location. To Lihue!

KVCV HESPE V210 LAX V25 EXERT WEEZL DINTY R576 WAPPO FISHE V8 MKK V15 SHIGI V12 KEOLA V16 NAPUA PHLI. Departs 10:45. Aircraft/Equipment: N926VA.

“Joshua Departure, Galaxy 7, IFR to Lihue.” Rosalina grabs as I taxi direct line up and wait onto runway 21.

“Galaxy 7, cleared to Lihue via KVCV ETHER V12 PMD V201 LAX, then as filed. Cross ETHER at or above 10,000. Departure this frequency, squawk 3452, clearance void 30 minutes from now.”

“Cleared to Lihue via ETHER, Victor 12, Palmdale, Victor 201, Los Angeles, then as filed. ETHER at or above 10,000, Joshua 24.55, 3452, void in 30 minutes, Galaxy 7.”

“Galaxy 7, readback correct.”

“Ready?”

“Let’s go!”

Hands together, push to takeoff power.

Power set, airspeed alive, gauges in the green.

80 knots.

V1

Rotate.

V2

Positive rate, gear up.

Flaps up. Course direct ETHER, cross at or above 10,000.

“Joshua departure, Galaxy 7 off Victorville, 3,400 for 10,000 direct ETHER.”

“Galaxy 7, Joshua Departure, roger. Radar contact 4 miles WNW of the Victorville Airport. Proceed direct ETHER, climb and maintain Flight Level 240.”

“Direct ETHER, FL240, Galaxy 7.”

“Galaxy 7, contact Los Angeles Center on 126.35.”

“26.35, Galaxy 7.” “L.A. Center, Galaxy 7 at 16,000 for FL240.”

“Galaxy 7, Los Angeles Center. Edwards… correction, Palmdale altimeter 30.01.”

“30.01, Galaxy 7.”

“Ok, we’re entering the flight levels, 29.92.”

“Got it.”

“Galaxy 7, proceed direct Los Angeles.”

“Direct Angeles, Galaxy 7.”

With a few pushes of button, we make an immediate course correction direct to the Los Angeles VOR. Once we’re out of the radar environment, I turn up SELCAL just in case of any eventualities over the ocean.

Flaps 1. Lower landing gear.

Flaps 2. Speed 140 knots.

Flaps 3. Speed 135 knots.

“Galaxy 7, runway 35, cleared to land.”

“Cleared to land 35, Galaxy 7.” Flaps Full. Speed 130 knots.

50.

40.

30.

20.

10.

Touchdown. Spoilers up, brakes on, 2 in reverse.

50 knots, disengage reverse thrust.

“Galaxy 7, left at D, right B, hold short runway 21, then contact ground.”

“Left at D, B, short of 21, contact ground, Galaxy 7.”

“Southwest 2509, runway 21, line up and wait.”

“21, line up and wait, 2509.”

“Lihue ground, Galaxy 7 short of 21 on B for Sunshine.”

“Galaxy 7, Lihue Ground. Hold short runway 21, departing traffic.”

“Short 21, Galaxy 7.”

“Galaxy 7, roger, mahalo. Southwest 2509, runway 21, cleared for takeoff. Fly the Lihue Five.”

“Cleared for takeoff 21, Lihue Five, Southwest 2509.”

“Galaxy 7, behind departing traffic, cross runway 21, taxi Sunshine Ramp via B.”

“Cleared across 21, B to Sunshine, Galaxy 7.”

“Thank you so much again. I’ll come around to repaying you, I promise.” Rarity texts a few minutes after we reach the house.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“No, seriously. What’s the catch?”

“Sex.”

“WHAT??!!!” “WHAT IN THE HAY IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!”

“No catch, just the 4 hours minimum notice. Please don’t take “sex” to mean anything because it doesn’t. I would never ask for that.”

“I would think so!”

“Sorry. The more we work together, I’ll just have to tell you, ‘get used to it.’”

“You ruffian!”

“What can I say? I’m uncouth.”

“You disgust me! Nevertheless, thank you for the flight back to San Francisco. I’m glad I met you.”

“Me too.”

After I send the last text, I give my wife a goodnight kiss and pass the heck out.

Next morning, I join the wife to work. Since she has office staff to take care of most of the non-flying work, all I’m really needed for is to be a good husband… and chauffeur.

Two pilots about to begin charters greet the two of us as Rosalina heads into the office. One of the assistants is already there doing an excel spreadsheet on employee performance to determine bonuses.

“You better not be lining your pockets.” I joke.

“Of course not sir.”

“How’s it going here?”

“Pretty good. We’ve had pretty good business since the floods. The area is flourishing nicely, and we’ve had to borrow fleet from Kahului to accommodate for it.”

“Nice.”

“I can take care of other work once you’re finished with that.” Rosalina says.

“Can you file and balance accounts then?” He asks back.

“I can file.” I volunteer.

“Even better.”

“The cabinet is over there.” He says pointing to a partially overflowing basket.

Statements, invoices and the like are sorted by date, cross-referenced by aircraft, and digitally indexed and linked via Excel with the help of our computer within an hour. We also prepare individualized spreadsheets for the extra fleet relief, which need to be sent with those helicopters when they return to Maui.

When the last charter returns, the two of us head to dinner, where she says that after some grocery shopping, will no longer need me. In fact, she tells me explicitly to just go back so that I’m not just sitting around at home. As much as I’d like to stay with her, I also know that that’s exactly what I would do, and so to respect her wishes, I file a flight plan with an early departure from Lihue, so that I can get back to Victorville before dinner Pacific Time.

Author's Note

A14 and D0 are statistics used to determine an airline’s on time performance.

A14 is the percentage reported to the public along the lines of “does the flight arrive at their destination within 15 minutes beyond schedule?”

D0 is a percentage that asks, “does the flight depart their origin at their scheduled time?”

“Nickel and Dime” is a nickname Los Angeles traffic reporters use for the interchange of I-5 and I-10. It is one of the busiest interchanges in the United States, connecting the major east-west and north-south thoroughfares in Southern California.

SELCAL is a method of contacting aircraft usually over the ocean where Air Traffic Control will ping a specific code on the air which is assigned to an individual aircraft if they need to communicate. This reduces pilot fatigue so they’re not constantly listening for ATC, since over the ocean, the radio waves are pretty much dead.

Sunshine is the name of the heli-tour business that Rosalina runs. For obvious reasons, I have permission to park on the ramp that is otherwise limited to company traffic.