Gallop from the Ghosties!

by protractror

Rating: everyone
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy
Length: 4637

For a pony who giggles at the ghosties an awful lot, Pinkie sure seems terrified of ghosts.

Rainbow Dash starts to get suspicious of Pinkie Pie's claim that she isn't afraid of ghosts. Especially when she blatantly declares she is scared of ghosts. This situation is going to have to be solved Rainbow Dash style. No one really knows what that means, but it definitely means a lot of bruises.

Published 2011-12-13 06:11:35 UTC
Last updated 2012-02-01 18:23:42 UTC

Ghosts!

Mare-Do-Well had dawned her cowl for the last time, and for that Rainbow Dash was happy. It wasn't exactly one of her favourite things to get upstaged every morning by an apparent alicorn in a fedora. However, she also knew that her friends were completely justified in their choice to trick her, and she would have a lot to write Princess Celestia about tonight. In fact the whole situation had humbled her. She never knew just how agile Pinkie Pie was, and she was certainly never going to get on Bucky Mcgillicuddy's bad side. However proud of her friends she might have been though, Rainbow Dash wasn't going to let them have the upper hoof.

"Look out! It's a real ghost!" Rainbow Dash cried in mock concern. Like that, the tables had turned and everyone was back to laughing with Rainbow Dash. Just as well, Spike was getting pretty just as high on his horse as Rainbow was. With a startled shriek, Rainbow realized that Spike wasn't the only thing making a bee line out of town. In fact, Spike had slowed down and most likely realized that there was never a ghost only to be plowed down by a panicking pink party pony. Like a frightened pink bullet Pinkie ran through the streets of Ponyville in an arrow straight line. Rainbow couldn't help but chuckle, no pony liked to get scared like Pinkie Pie.

"Pinkie Pie, you are so random." Rainbow Dash finally spoke in between laughs. But when she looked around she saw that nopony else was laughing. It seemed like everyone else was showing a mixture of worry or disappointment. "Hey, what's everyone's problem? Pinkie's just being Pinkie!"

Applejack was the first to speak. "Rainbow dear, you do know that Pinkie Pie isn't playing scared here." As if too punctuate her point, a battle cry sounded from across town as Pinkie burst through her apple stand. Oddly Pinkie didn't even slow down, the only change was that she was now letting out high pitched squeals. It was almost adorable if she wasn't running like there was a murderer behind her.

"Wait, what? Pinkie Pie isn't scared of anything! C'mon you guys remember when she sang that song to us? You know, giggle at the Ghosties? She just has fun being scared sometimes. Look, she's heading straight to sugar cube corner. She probably is running over there for a midday sugar fuel-up." Rainbow said confidently. Pinkie Pie being scared of ghosts was like Rainbow being scared of flight. However the confidence drained from her face as Pinkie Pie once again crashed through the walls. Of course this was easier then before as the walls were made of gingerbread but this act made even Rainbow Dash cringe. The Cakes were not going to be happy about this.

"What is she even thinking? Does she think the woods are free of ghosts, because it looks like that's where she's headed." Twilight said with a tired sigh. Apparently this had happened before Rainbow Dash had realized.

"I have absolutely no idea." Applejack chimed in.

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"GHOSTSGHOSTSGHOSTS! GHOSTS ARE CHASING ME! GHOSTSGHOSTSGHOSTS! DAAAAAASHIE! ANYPONY! RUNRUNRUN!

*****************************************

"No idea."

While the other girls thought of what they should do next, Rainbow Dash turned into a ball of electricity and raced after Pinkie Pie. Pinkie Pie was fast, really fast in fact. Rainbow Dash had to actually break a sweat to catch her, but just before they both reached the forest Dash slowed down and stopped in front of Pinkie Pie.

"Pinkie, wait. I was just kidding, there wasn't a ghost. You can stop joking around now." Rainbow Dash said inbetween tired breathes. However, Pinkie didn't stop like she had anticipated. Pinkie just seemed to be even more confused and scared.

*****************************************
"MORE GHOSTS? OR IS THAT DASHIE? NOT TAKING THAT CHANCE!"

*****************************************
With a scream somewhere between a shout and a squeak, Pinkie jumped into Dashie with the force of a freight train. Needless to say they both went tumbling for a few good yards as they both screamed in confusion. Rainbow Dash was still trying too shake the stars out of her eyes when she realized that Pinkie wasn't just lying on top of her, but actually hugging her with all of her might.

"Pinkie, is there something you want to tell me?" Rainbow said quietly, but still with an air of confusion.

"Rainbow Dash... I'm scared of ghosts."

"Really?"

"Deathly. And before you go all Twilight on me and start probing me for the real reason I'm scared of ghosts, this isn't symbolism or some clever literary device! I just am really scared of ghosts!" Pinkie confessed to her bestest friend. She wasn't scared anymore, but her blood was still 50% adrenaline and 50% sugar so she wasn't exactly at ease. Anticipating her friend's next question she continued "I mean, they're spooktacular, but in a spooky way! I just know there going to eat me! Ghosts do stuff like that, karma! I eat a lot, they'll eat me! I don't want to be a pastry! GASP! I'd be a Pinkie 'Pie'! Oh Dashie don't let them eat me!"

"Pinkie, get it together! You're not going to be eaten by ghosts, its like 3:00 in the afternoon in an open field. Anyway, that's assuming ghosts exist in the first place." Dash said as reassuringly as she could muster. She obviously saw just how silly this whole phobia was, but at the same time she saw just how real it was too Pinkie Pie. "Pinkie, whatever happened to giggling at the ghosties?"

"That's just a metaphor Dashie! Do you go and attract flies with honey? Do too many chefs spoil a broth? No, that song was something my grandma sang to me too combat my crippling fear of ghosts. It didn't work obviously, but I figured it was a pretty decent metaphor. Anyway, those were trees. At least I'm scared of moving objects."

"I'm not scared of Trees Pinkie!"

"Don't lie, I saw your face when the trees started to glow. Trees are a fear you can laugh away. If you laugh at a ghost, I'm pretty sure it will haunt you. Forever."

Rainbow Dash couldn't believe what she was hearing. The only pony who had ever taught Rainbow Dash to be more brave was scared of ghosts. A lot. And now she was saying Dash was the scared one for that one time she though the trees were moving! "No! You're the one with the irrational fear, not me!" Rainbow Dash finally stood up, helping Pinkie to her legs."But not for long. I'm going to help you fight this fear!"

"Really?" Pinkie Pie looked at Rainbow Dash skeptically. "I mean Dashie, thank you, but it's really not necessary. I can handle this by myself. I've been dealing with it for years."

"Pinkie, you just ran through your house on the way here. Do you even remember that?"

"Are you being liter-" Pinkie was interrupted as a stray gingerbread brick finally fell out of her mane. "Oh."

" Yeah. Tomorrow morning, bright and early we are dealing with this problem. Rainbow Dash style." And with that, Rainbow and Pinkie sauntered back off to town. One nervous, one eager and both ready for some relaxation.

However one thought crossed Rainbow's mind.

"Wait, so all of those times we played ghost, you were actually-"

"Deathly terrified."

"Gotcha. Sorry about that..."

No seriously guys, ghosts!

"So, how did it go?" Twilight Sparkle asked absent mindedly from behind her reference desk. Twilight prided herself on the ability to tell who was in the library without looking up from her book but really it wasn't all that tough. Everyone had their own manner of walking, be it bouncing or nervously pattering. Rainbow Dash was the easiest of all however, because the only time Rainbow ever came to the library was with a deafening crash as she plummeted unintentionally out of the sky. At first Twilight was shocked when Rainbow would repeatedly drop like a rock into her living room, but she learned that pegasi were made of tougher stuff than Unicorns. When Twilight eventually decided to look up however, Rainbow Dash looked like she had just gone ten rounds with a runaway bus.

"Oh my gosh Rainbow, what happened! Is Pinkie Pie alright!" Twilight squeaked out as she jumped over to console her friend. Rainbow was in the process of clearing her head when she turned to Twilight and spit out a laugh.

"Pinkie Pie is absolutely fine," Rainbow sneered. "But if she isn't careful, she's going to have one more ghost to be afraid of. And this one is going to haunt the crap out of her!"

"Oh Rainbow, I tried to warn you! Pinkie Pie isn't an easy nut too crack, and this certainly isn't the first time she's bucked someone in the face trying to help her. I remember when Applejack tried too talk her out of it and Big Mac took a big old mackintosh to the face. You know though that she doesn't mean any of it right?"

"Well obviously. She can't even think straight when a ghost even crosses her mind. Oh, and I hope you're not doing anything this week, because she has currently promised me seven forgiveness parties and counting."

"Seven? Sorry if I sound like a broken record, but what happened?" Twilight said in surprise. Ponyville's expert on friendship had seen a lot of people try and fix Pinkie Pie's fear of ghosts, but most of them had stopped after at most two tries. Even the most stubborn of ponies gave up after her fourth attempt and the subsequent burning down of her northern orchard.

"Well, I figured that this wasn't going to be easy so I had a few plans set up. I met Pinkie in the field at noon like we planned, and that was the last thing that went according to plan. You wouldn't believe what Pinkie was wearing! It was half tinfoil and half voodoo I didn't even understand. I thought she was having twitches, but she was actually just shaking with fear."

"Already? You didn't even do anything yet!"

"It turns out the field we met at is known in the spook community to be a disturbed burial ground. I guess Pinkie thought that I chose that intentionally."

"So when did she snap?"

"The same time as the twig I stepped on." Dash pointed to one of many bruises on her left flank. "Her ensuing stampede was what caused this bruise. For the next half hour she basically tried to hold it together before inevitably losing her nerve." Rainbow Dash sighed in acceptance. " You know what the funny part is? She doesn't even have the time to figure out where she's running. She just runs straight, half the time into the 'ghost'."

"Rainbow Dash, you've got to stop this! We already covered this a few months back, here let me get out my copy of that friendship report." Twilight scurried off to the back of the library. "Here, look! Ahem, 'Sometimes somethings can't be changed, and that's ok!' Rainbow Dash, just because you can't help Pinkie doesn't mean you didn't try and it doesn't mean you aren't a good friend."

"Twilight, do you want to learn a few lessons? You have to share, you have to care. How about even your crazy friends can help you out? How about giggle at the ghosties! Twilight, I haven't gone a day with Pinkie where she hasn't said something that's made me a better pony and do you know what I do in return? I fly really fast. Now of course I fly really fast, to the point where everypony that sees me should be awestruck. But I've never had a chance to help Pinkie out like this!"

"Yeah, but I'm pretty sure you've never kicked Pinkie in the face Rainbow!"

"Twilight, you know what? You're helping me out too." Anticipating her rebuttal from the look of shock on her face, Rainbow continued. "Oh, don't think you're getting out of this. First of all, I think I've just shown that I'm going to need a new perspective on this because sitting in a haunted field until I get tackled isn't going to work. Who better to think up a new strategy than the smartest pony in Ponyville? But also, Pinkie may have forgiven you for all of that crazy crap you subjected her too in your basement about her Pinkie sense but you know you owe her."

"That was purely science!"

"That doesn't prove anything. Anyway, you wrote a letter about it and how you were wrong, so check and mate."

Twilight knew she could win this fight with Rainbow. She had logic and rationale on her side and would have fired her two cannons of conflict resolution if she hadn't seen a pathetic sight cross outside her library. Rainbow Dash couldn't see it as it was directly behind her, but Pinkie was sulking back into town. Twilight could handle Pinkie being scared, that was random and fun like she should be. However, right now she was depressed and disappointed in herself. Twilight could almost see Pinkie Pie hitting herself for being such a scared little filly, and for letting her friend down ash she dragged herself down main street. It didn't last long, for when Pinkie saw someone else walk down the street she had her trademarked smile back up in a second flat.

"You know what Rainbow? Lets do this. Oh by the way Rainbow, why did you crash in through the roof?"

Rainbow just shrugged. Honestly it was just common place now.

Two hours later of brainstorming and Twilight realized that she needed to get more creative, because she was not able to use her literal library of knowledge in anyway effectively. Alas, Rainbow had already left and the plan had been locked in. Twilight looked at the sheet too her left, with its two tiny eye holes.

She was going to dress up as a ghost. And go sneak up too Pinkie Pie in it. It was funny, looking at the snow white spectre in front of her, Twilight suddenly understood Pinkie Pie's fears.

Okay, that might not have been a ghost.

It was just passing noon when Rainbow Dash woke up on one of her favourite clouds, just according to her schedule. Nothing exciting, let alone radical ever really happened early in the morning, so Rainbow optimized her time awake to be as much fun as possible. Rainbow Dash often wondered why she was the only pony to sleep that way, but she was perfectly fine with everyone else waking up early. If everyone worked like her then the whole scheme just plain wouldn't work.

Right now Rainbow Dash was contemplating what she was going to have for lunch, her most important meal of the day. No cereal for her, Rainbow Dash only ate the imporant meals. She was soon interrupted from her day dreams when she heard a very familiar greeting.

"Dashie!" Pinkie Pie called to her sleeping best friend. However it was then that 'Dashie' suffered the one downfall in her sleeping arrangement, the world shattering, all encompassing, scorching light that was the sun. Rainbow Dash opened her eyes into a direct view of the sun and let out a brief yelp as the adrenaline started pumping through her veins. Covering her eyes with her hoofs her brain barely registered a quiet sorry from beneath.

"Heya Pinkie, long time no see" Rainbow mumbled, trying too calm her heart rate. It had been a long time of sorts, six days in fact. Ever since Rainbow Dash had tried to help Pinkie, the little baker had decided to wait a bit before seeing Rainbow again. It was actually a pretty hilarious sight, Pinkie Pie hiding all over town in a cheap wig and trenchcoat. She jumped into alleyways, piles of hay, fountains, etc with over acting only Rarity could hope to match. But what Pinkie lacked in seriousness, she easily made up for in results to the point that Rainbow Dash hadn't the slightest of clues where Pinkie had been all week. She had assumed that Pinkie was probably in her room all week.

"Sorry about that Dashie! I've just been so busy with the bakery you know? I mean there's cakes, and Cakes making me make cakes and then the cakes that I eat, and the cakes that the Cakes want me to bake. Oops, I mean cake."

"No, you don't Pinkie. Anyway, what brings you here now?" Rainbow managed to get out inbetween deep breaths.

"I haven't seen you here all week Rainbow! If you weren't all bruisey from last week..." Pinkie Pie trailed off for a moment from her previous pep. If Rainbow Dash wasn't blind she would have seen a rare look of nervousness pass her pink friend's face. However, the bubbliness came back in an instant. " I would just jump up there and give you a gigantic Pinkie Pie hug!"

"Yeah, my bruises and twenty or so feet. Actually, my bruises are all healed up now so I guess its only physics thats stop- " Rainbow Dash never got a chance to finish that thought as she was tackled out of her cloud by her best friend. Pinkie pie had brought a trampoline for just the occasion, as well as a nice, fluffy cushion to land on. However when Rainbow finally opened her eyes as she lay on the ground, all she knew was that somehow Pinkie had scaled twenty feet in a single bound to give her a hug.

"That's Pinkie pie" she thought to herself.

It wasn't until Rainbow Dash tried to breath that she remembered that not only was she on the ground, but Pinkie Pie was hugging her, possibly to death as Dash tried and failed to inhale. As much as Dash would never admit it, she did love how emotional Pinkie Pie was. Rainbow Dash was never the type of pony to say how much she cared about others, that wasn't cool and it was pretty obvious if it mattered. But every once in a while it felt nice to know for sure how strong a friendship was. This one seemed to be able to bench 200 pounds if the hug was any indication, so Rainbow coughed out a warning.

"Whoops!" Pinkie exclaimed as she loosened her vice grip on Rainbow Dash. "So, about last week, I just really wanted to say thanks. I know that you probably think what you did was useless, but it wasn't. I might still be afraid of ghosts, but there's just somethings in life you can't change. Like ghosts. But do you know what makes my day Dashie?"

"Zombies?" Rainbow joked with a dead pan expression. If ghosts were fair game...

"Zombie ponies? Where!?" Pinkie Pie leaped up about to pounce onto the cringing Rainbow Dash before stopping and giving Rainbow the same look she had been given moments before. "Har, har, very funny. No, what really makes my day is when someone goes out of there way to help me Rainbow! You really are loyal."

"Yeah, I've heard as much."

"But seriously Dashie, nobody is as good a friend as you! Sure everybody wants to hang out with me at a party, and you can't spell laughter without Pinkie, but nobody really treats me just like you do. Now of course all of the other girls are great and I love them all to itsy little pieces, but Dashie, you most of all... you don't see me as a thing. I'm not just a random force of nature, I'm a random force of nature being piloted by a pony! And when you take a few new shades black and blue to the rainbow so that I can have a better time, well it means a lot to me. I just wanted to tell you that."

"Hey, thanks Pinkie but don't sell yourself short. You're a lot more than just a random force of nature," Rainbow said as she put her fore leg around Pinkie in a reassuring manner. "You can also bake a mean danish."

"Hehehe *snort*. Why can't you ever be serious like me Dashie!"

"I don't think I could ever be that serious Pinkie, even I only have so much energy."

"So lets just have a normal day today Rainbow. If you really want you can try and scare me tomorrow but I just want to prank today. Its prank Tuesday is it not?" Pinkie Pie said to her bestest friend. However, her friend had the face of a pony who just saw their priceless vase fall off its table, as it slowly fell to its inevitable fate. "It is Tuesday right?" Pinkie asked, slightly worried.

It was Tuesday, and there wasn't anything Rainbow wanted more right now then to go pranking with Pinkie. This was one of life's beautiful moments, the type Rainbow Dash would put in a scrapbook if she was about 20% lamer. If Rainbow Dash's special talent wasn't speed it would have been coolness, and she knew that the coolest thing she could do was to hang out with Pinkie Pie. However, over the hill she saw possibly the lamest thing in Equestria marching towards them. Dash had no choice but to look, and see her perfect moment crumble.

Crossing the hill in her ridiculous ghost costume Twilight saw Pinkie and Dash together and figured that she must have been right when Rainbow said twelve, she meant twelve noon and not midnight. With a gulp and a cry of "ooga booga" Twilight went down the hill.

For friendship.

But this is most definitely a ghost!

Time seemed to freeze for Pinkie when she turned her head. It was a sensation that had become a lot more common ever since Rainbow had found out that she was afraid of ghosts. As time crawled by Pinkie was able to take in the scene. Before her, Rainbow Dash was staring, jaw gaped open with a look of what seemed to be disappointment. Poor Rainbow Dash, Brave to the point of foolishness. On the hill however was what seemed to be a textbook ghost. Ivory white, blowing in the wind and with a spooky purple form sticking out of it's bottom. Pinkie wasn't sure about much, but she knew two things; That was a ghost, and Oh My Goodness that is a ghost!

Nothing was going through her brain except ghosts. Her brain was reaching relativistic speeds, possibly explaining the slowing down of time. Then it all cracked, her brain broke the light barrier and her life flashed before her eyes.

She was in her bed, all alone in the middle of the night. The howls from the outside were keeping her up, and she was starting to think it wasn't the rocks that were howling. Just then, lightening struck outside of her window, illuminating her room in a horrid light. Shadows danced in the light in ways that her nightmares would for years. An ominous "Oooohhhh" creaked through the halls of her house and Pinkie was under her covers. She was in hysterics before her father could rush in and calm her down. He told her that it was him who said Oooh, because the lightening was mighty impressive that night. Pinkie didn't believe him.

She was so excited for her first day of school in Ponyville! She had even made her first new friend, a little foal by the name of Applejack! Everything about that day was destined to be great! Well, except for the first day assembly, it was traditionally bad. The very tradition was the assembly was so bad that the students would hate it, and bond over how lame it was. It also set off the year with a light-hearted feel. Poor little Pinkie though just entered the school a bit late, halfway through the assembly. All she heard was a chorus of boos and she was gone. Ghosts were in Ponyville too!

She was in her mare-do-well costume, everything had gone according to plan. But out of nowhere, Rainbow Dash saw a ghost! And Rainbow doesn't lie because she was the element of honesty! Or loyalty, but basically they're sort of interchangeable. But on a more important note, none of that mattered because there was a ghost within a mile radius and she was out of there!

Pinkie relived every moment she had ever had with ghosts. Every time they had ruined her day, every window she broke, every disappointed friend's smile just like she did every time she saw a ghost. Only this time, it was everything plus ruining a day with Rainbow Dash. It seemed this ghost would be the straw that broke the pony's back.

All at once time sped back up to normal. Twilight was galloping down the hill in one of history's worst charges, as Dash raised her hoof directly to her forehead. Pinkie as usually burst like a bullet, with G's that should have probably crushed her. What was different this time was that she was headed directly at the ghost.

Twilight's brain never was able to slow down time like Pinkie, and it was struggling just to rationalize why she was running down the hill in her sheets. She only half realized that Pinkie was running towards her, and she was perplexed when she leapt into the air. It all sunk in for her soon though. Specifically when she sunk into the ground from Pinkie's death leap.

"NO! You ooga booga! You run away! I tried being nice, I tried laughing at you! I even tried being terrified! But you know what? I'm done with running! Your the one that's going to run! Right now!" Pinkie yelled at the 'ghost'. If Twilight didn't know what was going on before she certainly didn't know now but there was a voice in her head saying run. And of course there was a louder voice yelling run.

And thus the ghost got up, and slowly stumbled back to the library. Pinkie just stared it down, not blinking for even a second. Eventually the ghost cleared the hill, and Pinkie let out a ginormous sigh. Rainbow then put a leg around her shoulder.

"Well, uhm, that works..." She said uncertainly. Whatever just happened, Pinkie wasn't afraid of ghost anymore. And Twilight was able to walk away, so there's that.

"Do you want to go pranking now Dashie? I have got the most funneriffic prank you've ever heard of and I know just who to pull it on! Twilight wont even know what hit her!"

"I think we might want to lay off on Twilight for a while. How about Rarity?"

"That works! And after that we can go and see the Wonderbolt expo in town today!"

"Wha-wha-Wonderbolts?! In town! Today? But, I haven't practiced all week, I'm completely out of my game! I've gotta get outta here!" Rainbow squeaked as she turned around to escape. However, she only got about half an inch before she realized Pinkie had clamped onto her tail. She couldn't hold her for long though, her laughter breaking her grip. "The Wonderbolts aren't really in town are they?"

"Nopsies. But don't worry Dashie, we can work on that fear later. Right now we need to find some snakes and a dress."

*--*--*--*--*--*
Twilight eventually made it all the way to the library before she collapsed onto the door. She was in need of a good night's rest. With a groan she called out for spike to come and open the door for her.

Sadly as she was about to discover, Pinkie wasn't the only thing in Ponyville scared of ghosts.