Quantum Shift

“Just outside of the milky-way, a stallion is sitting in his space-ship. His fur is a grayish color, and upon his flank is a compass rose. His mane is rigid and white, like a zebra-mane. Over his ears are headphones, and he’s bobbing his head to some techno music. His hind-legs roll across the console of his ship as he looks out on a supernova. At first it seems like your typical supernova. Some dramatic lighting, a flare of plasmatic bursts, some charged particles, and a very anticlimactic lack of a “boom”. Boring stuff, really, it just so happened to be in the way, and he decided to wait it out rather than take a detour. He was on his way to the best snow-cone stand in the galaxy. It was run by a little filly and her mother, and it was commonly believed that what made them so great was the love… but truthfully it was the cocaine. That aside, this turned out to not be a typical supernova after all. No, because from that supernova came a very strange neutrino. Not in the sense that it was a strange neutrino, which it might have been, but that it was a neutrino that was indeed, strange. If that’s lost on you, then shame on you Jeremy for ignoring your 10th grade physics teacher.

Physics lessons aside, it was a very strange neutrino. Not in the se- wait, no. It was a weird neutrino. Yes, very weird. That is a better, less confusing, word for it. It was weird, like in the same manner that the pony at the back of Cheerilee's class is weird for eating the glue, thinking we wouldn’t notice. Well, I noticed! Or, my daughter did, and told me about it. The only difference between this neutrino, and the weird pony at the back, is this neutrino had the potential to destroy the entire universe, and everything we love. You see, in this neutrino was a small eensy bit of electro-matter, or E.M., or, colloquially as “Ehms”. Like: “Ehm, are you going to get to the point, mister?”

See, Ehm is not ordinary matter. No, nor is it electricity. It is nothing like either. It is only called that because it looks like funky blue electricity, that is, the moment before it destroys something… or powers up a force-field that could put Incredigirl to shame, or powers an advanced society for a trillion years, or expands our understanding of the universe to the very extent of what is fathomable, and then some. Indeed, just a gram of Ehm could decide the fate of every time-line… just one could challenge causality, duality, reality, and various other -ality’s. For me though, it would power my heated blanket for the rest of eternity, because finding an outlet to charge it with was becoming a real hassle. The short of it is, I saw the little neutrino of electro-matter, and so I extended out a little grabber from the ship, designed for this kind of thing, and with all sorts of techno-babble, I was about to contain it when: “poof”. It was gone.

No explanation, no fuss, just… gone. Off every radar, off every map, and resurfaced just a year later on Earth, intercepted by a special pony, with a special talent, that would, in the end, be the spark of a long journey into the very meaning of life… and likely a lot of sex. After all this, you might be wondering who the the narrator is. I am Zheng He, how you pronounce that is up to you, but me and my daughter Nora are here to tell you a story, just a little one, well, quite large for you, but little in the grand scheme of fiction as a whole. Here, we will tell you the story of one Quantum Shift, and their adventures with our little neutrino, who I will name, with love, Dave. Let’s begin, shall we?

Oh, before I do, I should mention. Some ass-hat thought it would be a good idea to switch narrators every chapter. Whether that was some ingenious revelation, a ploy to extend the chapter length by forcibly including an introduction, a shoe-horn to include every OC they had, or simply a very confusing decision is irrelevant now, because my fourth-wall awareness is not enough to change their mind, only to be… aware of it. I will spare you the contemplation of recognition of your thoughts about your thoughts being the thoughts of another greater being thinking of their thoughts being the thoughts of a lesser one thinking of your own thoughts as such, as it would surely drive you insane. For now, just enjoy the story. "