“You don’t like me…”
It flinched back upon the unicorn’s gaze turned to it. The expression on Shining Armor’s face is at first surprised, and then grows stern. For a pony who can beam with such warmth and love towards those he cares for, he can grow such a cold wall between himself and the creature before him.
He can smile. Smile and wave as he does to the public. Even smile to the creature, but the smile never reaches his eyes the way it does towards anypony else around him.
The unicorn keeps his glare, waiting. His stance challenging. Not threatening, but at the ready in a moment’s notice. That tension it sees building up anytime they end up in each other’s presence.
The silence grows long and awkward. It both sees and can taste the annoyance oozing from the stallion, this time waste of waiting to see if the creature has a further point. With a flick of his tail, the pony holds back a sigh. Has to keep up the masquerade, upon the wishes of his family.
“Whatever do you mean?”
The sharpness his tone would have hold has been filed off, all to keep the pretense. Still, the dark creature shies back further. It had approached him alone on purpose, to give him a chance to speak his mind instead of playing pretend, but it still doesn’t make it easier. It was never that good at confrontations. Of course not meaning to confront, but feels like softer options just isn’t possible with this pony’s stance.
“I-I…”
“If that’s all, I got duties to see to,” he cuts it off. Clearly not intending to stick around to talk about whatever this creature wanted.
“You don’t like me,” it repeats itself.
Shining Armor flares his nostrils, fighting to not blow out air hard enough to be audible as a sign of his annoyance. This creature, this… thing. A guest. He reminds himself this is a… guest. In the Crystal Empire. He fails to hold back the snort. A changeling being a guest in the Crystal Empire, the capital of love. The very thing its kind feed on.
It visibly gulps, forcing itself to step forward. Shining Armor holds his ground. He’s not intimidated by this dark carapaced monstrosity of a pony sized insect. He is not.
“Yo-You don’t have to pretend. I hoped we would have a moment alone t-to talk about it and-and… and…”
It stumbles over its words. Clearly hadn’t planned much ahead what to say. Unless that is all pretense of course. It is a changeling after all.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he snorts. They are already alone, but in a hallway in which they can be approached by somepony any moment. He is not walking off to somewhere excluded with this… guest.
The odd stalks on its head that might, might not, be the changeling form of ears drops further downwards.
“Pl-Please, I…”
Despite the lack of proper pupils, it could look like its compound eyes were darting around its surroundings as if to look for inspiration for its words. Or to ensure they were truly alone.
“I know you-you’re lying!” it finally bursts.
The sudden outburst of the usually very soft spoken creature nearly has Shining Armor fly back. He’s better than that, he’s a trained soldier, must stand his ground. Sadly lost half a step of ground to the creature. The head stalks raised a bit but not fully upwards. Its stance is a mockery of somepony… something trying to look determined while failing. It still acts so timid.
Shining Armor searches for words to counter with, how dare... no, don’t let it get the better of you.
“What makes you say that?” His words come out a bit sharper than intended. He is reaching his limit already for how long he can stand being near this creature, especially alone. He can handle himself, but who knows what deceit it is planning.
It actually sighs heavily, might even done whatever counts as rolling its eyes, for a creature with disturbing eyes like that.
“I’m a changeling. I… I can feel it… taste it. You don’t like me…”
His nostrils flare again. Taste? Would have been a ridiculous claim if it weren’t for the fact this thing before him was a changeling. And its words related to how they fed.
“Please, just… I… you don’t have to like me, bu-but, but I…” it stumbled over its words again. Its head lowers, eyes closing. “You shouldn’t have to wear a mask…”
For the moment Shining Armor is confused. He’s not wearing any masks. He’s not a deceiver like the changeling before him. He’s a unicorn, a proper and honest pony.
“I don’t have time for this, Thoax,” he finally declares. But doesn’t turn to walk away. He rather the changeling to walk first - not going to turn his back on it.
“You are… you are wearing a mask. Even now.” The changeling’s eyes still closed, facing downwards at the floor. “I know you are a honest and good pony… but you are not being honest about this. I can tell…”
Shining Armor narrows his eyes at the bug. Accusing him of being a liar? That’s rich.
“You don’t have to like me… Shouldn’t have to pretend you do. I know you don’t…”
Shining Armor grits his teeth. Would roll his eyes if he wasn’t focused on not looking away and risk giving the changeling an opening.
“Enough, I really don’t have time for this, Thoax, so if it could wait – or better, maybe find somepony else to talk to.”
“Please, you are so tense you can barely move, you could walk away yourself yet you don’t. You are so wound up; you won’t be able to move your muscles in time if I decided to pounce you.”
The words hit the unicorn with surprise. That was the last kind of statement he would expect from this supposed timid creature.
Eyes open once again; the pale blue seems to shimmer faintly with a soft glow as they capture his. Head still held low, its body held in a pose that seems submissive… yet tense as well. Shining Armor would try to unwind by rolling his shoulders and free himself from the growing tension to allow faster movement, but it might be taken as a weakness. An opening for the monster to make truth of its threat.
“It’s what you are expecting, isn’t it? I can taste it… I know you hate when I say it like that,” the changeling continues. “You rather I say ‘feel it’. But it’s how I sense it. I taste your emotions. I’m not feeding of you, that’s not what that word means. But it oozes from you. You don’t like me. You’re angry that I’m here. You are afraid of me-“
“Enough!” Shining Armor bellows. Shocked by his own volume. “I’m NOT somepony who is… afraid,” he sneers the word with disgust, “of monsters under the bed! You walk up to me to accuse me of... of…”
“Of the truth? Accusing a honest pony of lying? Making you angry even before I spoke a word…?” It hasn’t changed its pose. Its anatomy still so strange to Shining Armor, the outer skin a tough exoskeleton not showing tension the same way pony muscles seen through soft skin does. Head and tail down, wings hidden under its backshield. Yet its stance seems ready to move upon a notice. Whether to attack or escape is open to debate. Shining Armor is not here to debate. Eyes narrowing.
“What’s your game?”
“I’m not playing anything,” the monster replies with that pitiful tone of confusion it uses so often. As if creatures meant to imitate ponies truly didn't understand sayings and social cues.
“I know… I know you’re a kind pony… I have seen it. I can tast- I can feel it. Whenever you are around others… anyone else but me. But you lie as soon I enter the room. Whether I’m myself or disguised, I can… feel the shift. Your smile becomes fake, your eyes hard. Excusing yourself to not be around me. I… I know… I…”
“You don’t know anything.” Shining Armor’s voice comes out harsh; he almost spits it off his lips. The pretend of trying to hold back the disgust is getting exhausting and clearly playing this pretend alone with the bug was a waste of effort.
The bug flinches, shying back one step with stiff legs. The unicorn stepped forward, gaining the lost ground.
“I do what I must for those I care about. For those I love. For those who know what that even means!” He glare making the changeling lower its stance, ear stalks pointing as far down as they can. It stepped back once again. Shining Armor steps forward, gaining the ground.
“I am showing a great deal of kindness to allow you to stay here, as a guest.” Of course, it was not his decision alone. He was one of few protestors left at the end of the discussion. The crystal ponies blindly trust the words of their idolized heroes such a ‘Spike the Mighty’ and Princess Cadence. Shining Armor is not without power and influence himself, but stands lower than the new Crystal Princess. She made it clear what was the final decision after agreeing with the majority, once he tried to take up the discussion again when they were alone.
“I don’t care whatever this confrontation is supposed to be about, so quit wasting my time,” he snarls. The changeling had stepped back more, he had followed, keeping the dominance of the battlefield between them.
“Yes… I’m… I’m just a guest…” Thorax mumbles in reply. “Which implies temporary.” His voice still soft as he raises the volume from the mumbling, while raising his head again. Tail and ear stalks till pointing downwards, but the movement alone of raising his head up and steady his voice had Shining Armor step back before realizing it. Losing the ground.
“You cling to technicalities. You act tough. You wear a mask pretending you are fine with me around, if anypony else is looking. You don’t admit it. You don’t like me. You are afraid of me.”
“Be quiet!”
The outburst didn’t have the desired effect. Thorax didn’t shy back, didn’t lower his head again. This bug always pretending to be oh so shy and submissive now standing his ground.
“You get the most angry with bursts of your fear,” Thorax states calmly. “It’s how you try to hide it. You think the anger can mask it, that it fuels your resolve. But you are still scared.”
He stepsforward, and Shining Armor’s body seizes up, muscles twitching. “What are you doing?!”
“Nothing. Approaching you. Standing before you. Not a threat in any way, but you… ooze with fear.”
The unicorn snarls, straightening his back and neck to stand tall. He was already bigger than the changeling it is not hard to loom over him. It. Loom over it. Yet it doesn't move, it doesn't give back the conquered ground.
“You are afraid of me. You are stronger, you have everypony on your side, I’m alone, you have no reason t-“
“No reason??” The volume of the unicorn’s voice is not what has the changeling step back and give ground. It was not that flaring anger it had gotten used to… it was the bitter taste of hate now oozing from the pony. It was only a short burst, but so intense.
Shining Armor reclaimed the ground between them, looming over the monster before him as he breaths hard to keep in control.
“No? Reason? Thanks to your kind, many ponies were hurt and scared! Innocents attacked by monsters they had never seen before, creatures they had done nothing to deserve meeting their fangs! Your kind made several good soldiers fail their duties to serve and protect because your tactics of deceit before rendering them useless and helpless!”
Head lowering once again, Thoax steps back, stopped once his rump meets the wall behind him. Unable to escape the verbal attack as the pony before him gained ground and continues.
“Families attacked and separated, ponies hurt, taken into captivity! We were the ones done nothing to you, attacked unprovoked! And you dare to say I have no reason!?”
The changeling is visibly shaking, eyes wide at the heavy mist of rage escaping and surrounding the pony. One lapse in judgement and this pony much stronger and bigger than himself could easily hurt the lonely changeling.
“Don’t claim innocence yourself, you admitted you were there that day! It was the day you deserted your own kind, even changelings can’t trust changelings!”
“Be-Because… because I… because I didn’t w-“
“Didn’t want to hurt anypony, right. Yeah, heard that, that’s what you claim! Not like we have reports on any changelings who DID hold back during that attack! All anypony saw was monsters attacking the innocent! Innocent it is MY job to protect and shield from the likes of you!”
“Because you failed…” The words were careful, yet still spoken out loud as the changeling covers against the wall.
The pony’s pupils shrink to pinpricks for a moment. His face a snarling grimace as he rears up on his hind legs, hooves in the air clad in armor and ready to strike down on the monster.
A monster not fighting back but covering before him as it trembles. Not crying for help. Its horn not even lighting up despite the threat before it.
Hesitation.
The unicorn’s hooves came down hard, the cracking sound echoing loudly through the empty corridor.
Thorax hasn't even closed his eyes, still locked onto the unicorn before him. The pony isn’t looking at the bug below, his own eyes locked on his own metal clad hooves and the web of cracks erupting from them in the crystal floor.
Still covering under the windowsill against the wall, Thorax wasn't shaking anymore. Merely not moving to avoid setting off the unicorn again. Waiting.
“Thanks to the likes of you…” the unicorn’s voice is hollow, tired. “… I couldn’t find trust in my own wife’s face. Questioning if it was truly her this time and not just another… because of you she couldn’t sleep, always waking up with a shriek and clinging to me. Afraid to be alone. I turned my back on my sister, breaking our trust… watch her get abandoned by everypony because of your deceit…”
He took in a shaky breath, head still down.
“We were getting through it. The love was back, the trust. Everything was forgiven between us. I have more ponies depending on me than ever and then you show up…”
Finally his head raises to lock his eyes upon the changeling.
“I made you remember…”
Thorax looks at the unicorn. The anger was gone, even the fear, no taste of hatred. He is just… tired. Hollow.
“You didn’t fail. I know from the stories you saved everypon-“
“I failed everypony! I failed them… I was to hold up the shield. It was my duty to protect my bride to be but didn’t even notice… I turned my back to any warnings my own sister gave me. I questioned nothing, until it was too late! Because I was weak and blind and… and…”
“Paranoid doesn’t make you stronger…”
Thorax stands up, stepping around the unicorn that stood frozen to the floor, as if where he had planted his hooves now held him stuck on the spot.
“I’m not Qu-” Thorax hesitates, taking a deep breath. “I’m not Chrysalis.”
The name makes Shining Armor flinch.
“I’m not my brothers or my sisters. I’m alone.” He gave Shining Armor space, stepping away a distance before sitting with his side to the unicorn.
“I’m an outcast, a traitor. Because I’m weak. I cannot protect anyone. I had no one to protect me, without my Hive. I was not strong enough to protect them, to fight for them, so I betrayed them. I have nothing to go back to. And nowhere to go, because of the crimes done by others sharing my appearance… Until I… made friends.”
A moment of silence passes between them, before Thorax continues.
“I can’t make up for what my kind has done… I did nothing to stop their actions. I fled for my own sake. Yet I was given a chance. A chance here. Where I don’t have to lie and hide. Where I can be friendly with honesty. Where I don’t fight for scraps to survive…” His voice dropping sadly. “And nothing to give back in return for it.”
He watches as Shining Armor slowly manages to unwind enough to stand back up, removing his hooves from the cracked part of the floor. Not looking at the changeling, seemed more like he is studying the damage he had done to the floor.
“I want to give back… as much as I have been given. And more. Shining Armor…”
He waits in silence until the unicorn finally turns his head to face him.
“Don’t fear me. You don’t have to like me. But please don’t fear me. Fear is what they will use against you when they run out of lies.”
Shining Armor blinks. Letting the words sink in.
“You… trying to help? Me? By… by doing… this?”
“I’m not a monster. They are not monsters. We are living things. With our own fears and hopes, with the wish to survive. You’ll be stronger if you don’t fear us…”
Thorax sighs. “I have nothing else to offer, if we cannot be friends. I still have to offer something, anything, that can be useful to you.”
“Betraying your own kind-“
“More than I already have? I have nothing more to lose when it comes to those I saw as my family. But everything to gain making friends. I’m scared, I’m alone… but I can be honest. I can be honest about everything now. I can share how I feel about others, and encourage them to be honest as well.”
Shining Armor still felt it hard to read the expression of the changeling’s face, the features the mixture of the familiar and the different, slightly disturbing. But it… he, he looks… hopeful.
“Changelings lie about their feelings just as much. We all have to confirm to being one way. Emotions are for ponies, and their emotions are food… it’s not right. Not when those emotions can be fed freely, willingly, without anypony getting hurt. And it’s not right either if ponies’ own feelings hurt themselves.”
“It’s... it’s not…”
“Not that easy…? I would guess so. But I want to help. You are hurt. But also so very strong. It seems to confuse you how to feel… Let me help. Please?”
They stood in silence, looking each other in the eyes. The distance between them the same as when Thorax first approached Shining Armor. When it was turned into a battleground of wills. Now… it was just a certain amount of air and floor a distance between them.
Shining Armor sighs.
“I can’t… I can’t promise anything.”
“But… we can see?”
Hesitantly, the unicorn gave a short nod.
Thorax gave a smile. He didn’t feel disappointed when not receiving a smile in return. Didn’t expect one. He had just spoken of honesty to one’s feelings, after all. He got up on his hooves, glad to see Shining Armor didn’t immediately tense up again at the movement, at least.
“I’ll go now. I know you are a busy pony. I’m not nearly as busy if… you need to talk. Won’t be a bother at all.”
Shining Armor gave a nod. Watching the changeling, Thorax, turning his back to him and softly trotting on his way. He had to get back to his duties. Among things reporting the damage to the floor to see to it being repaired.
Author's Note
A scene I imagined for shortly after Times They Are A Changeling, just a little imaginary scenario with nothing to support it as canon. But popped up in my head recently upon revisiting a review on youtube of the episode, pointing out how quickly Shining Armor seemed to shift attitude about the changeling. Considering his harsh "There is no such thing as a nice changeling."
I can imagine things still piling up under the surface to be attempted resolved off screen. Is what fanfics are for after all.
Anyways, enjoy!
