Chapters Author's Note
An existing story was originally going to be my go-to when I wanted to write and couldn't focus on anything remotely complex, but it evolved into something more, so here this one is. I was thinking of creating a protagonist that was an oddball, and considering them actually being named Oddball reminded me of Screwball, and stuff just developed from there.
I've got no ending planned, so whenever I decide to stop adding chapters will be the conclusion. This is basically a dumping ground, so it's going to be more poopy than the poop I usually produce.
Getting Stoned, Toke Two
Discord seemingly found himself standing within the great expanse of space, surrounded by stars and the dust clouds that were illuminated by them. Below his feet, and what he supposed made up the "floor" of his environment, was where a cluster of stars could be found.
After a cursory inspection of his surroundings, he flippantly remarked, "Well, this is new: a stone prison with a view?"
He snapped his talons. When nothing happened, he slumped in disappointment. "Aw... Figures I'd be denied some entertainment." He quickly perked back up when an idea occurred to him, which inspired him to jokingly say, "Hopefully this upgrade of the facility includes a schedule with chaos time, or at least shenanigan privileges for good behavior."
Inwardly, though, he scoffed at the idea: being able to have access to his power at someone's whim, or having to earn the right to be himself, likely by being unlike himself, was quite distasteful to him.
Not seeing anything else to do, he decided to follow the cluster of stars and see where they led him. For a bit they took him nowhere, but eventually he could see something take shape ahead of him, appearing to transition from a gaseous state to a solid one the closer that he got to it. Before the vision could fully resolve itself, he recognized exactly what it was he was approaching: the Tree of Harmony.
Unafraid, he didn't stop walking until he was at its base, where he crossed his arms and looked up at it with a frown. "I take it that this is your doing?"
To his left, within his peripheral vision, a rectangle-shaped screen appeared and played a scene from Tron, where the Bit turned into an orange octahedron and said, "Yes."
He blinked his eyes at the sight before narrowing them accusatorially as his gaze returned to the tree. "Did you just steal my shtick?"
How the Tree of Harmony had made a trans-dimensional reference, he didn't know, and it didn't escape his notice that it had used a Bit to do it, which was a word synonymous with shtick.
In response, the first screen faded away and another replaced it nearby, which showed Lex Luther screaming, "Wrong!"
Nonplussed as he was by what he was experiencing, he could excuse himself for jumping in surprise when he suddenly heard someone say, "They lifted those from me."
Looking to the side, he saw a male human appear as if he were stepping out of a thick fog, mature in age and naked as the day he was born. A glowing "cord" came out of his belly and disappeared into the distance, connecting him to his physical body, which explained his presence in the astral plane. Whether his current state was purposeful or not, or aided, was another story, but ultimately unimportant.
The human casually walked up to him and offered his hand in greeting before saying, "I'm Oscar. And before you ask: no, I'm not a chauffeur."
Discord glanced at the offered hand before looking Oscar in the eyes with disinterest and replying, "Well, while you're being expeditious , perhaps you could get right to telling me what's going on as well."
Despite the snub, Oscar grinned in light of his reference being acknowledged and retracted his hand. "As you wish." That earned him an eye-roll. "To put it simply: I'm here to reform you on behalf of our mutual friend," he gestured toward the Tree of Harmony, "here."
Unable to help a snort, Discord said, "I'd tell you to pull the other one, but I can't put bells on it... Thanks to our so-called mutual friend."
"Better to have had and lost, right?" Came Oscar's rhetorical response, with an accompanying shrug of the shoulders. "Anyway, despite what you might think, Harmony is intent on freeing you with your power intact."
A screen appeared beside him, for Discord to see, where M. Bison enthusiastically exclaimed, "Yes!"
"Not without a lobotomy, I bet," Discord retorted.
As the screen with M. Bison faded away, another appeared on the other side of Oscar, this one with Darth Vader wailing, "No-oooooo!"
"Are you mocking me!?" He finally snapped at the Tree of Harmony, taking an aggressive stance toward it. "It's not fair if I can't respond in kind!"
Oscar held his hands up placatingly and said, "Hey, it's not like that. That's just how they communicate: by using our own memories. And it seems they tend to use the ones that stand out the most in your mind. It took a bit for me to get used to it, myself."
Discord huffed and returned to facing Oscar, his arms akimbo. "Whatever. Let's hear how you plan to bend me to your will."
With a half-lidded stare, Oscar patiently said, "I'm only going to try and convince you. If you prefer being stoned instead, I won't judge."
"Ha, ha," came Discord's unamused reply.
Unaffected by Discord's behavior, which Oscar found understandable, he continued. "Anyway, life isn't simple, right? It's not supposed to be the same for everyone all of the time." Above his head, a screen showed a flat line on the monitor of an electrocardiograph. "It should have its ups and downs."
"So, what," Discord began, as he watched the line express the aforementioned ups and downs with a frown, "you want me to contribute to the ups?"
"Nope," Oscar replied, with a shake of his head. "To both, but not as if it were a job. The issue is that you force everything to bend to your whims, making everything chaos, and that's what Harmony wants to address."
"Hmmmm," Discord hummed thoughtfully as he stroked his beard, intrigued. "Care to elaborate?"
Oscar nodded his head. "Harmony is about co-existing despite being different. The idea is not only for you to be fair in how you affect others with your chaos, but to continue reflecting the side of life that isn't fair or within our control. There's a place for chaos, and we hope that others will come to accept that if you're one among many features of a playground, by using discretion, rather than wantonly overtaking the whole space with a sandbox."
"'Variety is the spice of life', is what you're saying," Discord concluded, looking more animated than before. "I suppose I could get behind that."
"Harmony also hopes that there will be those willing to come to you to enjoy your chaos, as well," Oscar added.
The thought of such a thing happening was so foreign a concept to Discord that it made the gears in his head grind to a halt, and his body stiffen.
Oscar shook his head with some amusement at his reaction. "Another part of your reformation will teach you how to make your chaos fun for others, or for them and you."
Discord seriously considered the offer being made to him for a time, but ultimately didn't think he had much of a choice. Either he continued to be entombed in stone for an indefinite period of time, or he learned how to integrate himself into Equestrian society — making it his home, more or less. Honestly, he found the idea interesting. It would certainly be new, and he supposed that making others upset enough to seal him in stone was starting to get old.
"I guess it couldn't hurt to try something different," Discord casually decided, as he turned away from Oscar and the Tree of Harmony. "The whole being-a-statue thing was cramping my style, anyway."
The Tree of Harmony displayed an image of "success kid" for Oscar's eyes, who found it amusing.
Discord released a weary sigh after the montage of his education and training came to an end, which he had asked for in light of being unable to do it himself. "Did you really have to show every time I looked funny — and not in a good way, I might add — when I was learning how to sincerely say 'sorry', 'please', and 'thank you' naturally?" He crossed his arms with a huff. "Can it even be called a proper montage if a small fraction of my experience is half of the whole?"
In response, the Tree of Harmony displayed an image of Shrek's Puss in Boots putting on an act of innocence.
Discord looked unamused.
"You did ask for it," Oscar pointed out, who was quite accustomed to their friendly prank and joke war by now.
Jabbing a talon at the Tree of Harmony, Discord declared, "Just you wait until I have access to my power again! We'll see how you fare when I'm no longer at a disadvantage!"
Puss in Boots was replaced by a scene that featured Dr. Evil, who said, "Oh, look at me, I'm shaking in my little space boots."
A silence fell over the trio when Discord saw no point in making a retort to that, partly because — with his reformation complete — there was no longer any business driving their activity: now it was just a matter of waiting for a certain princess of Equestria to arrive and hear about his status. Usually, when Oscar fell asleep and could thus be invited to their nook of the astral plane, that was when he would be invited himself and get to work, since he wanted to be free of his prison as soon as possible.
It wasn't until then, after everything that he'd learned through that work, that it occurred to him that he knew next to nothing about Oscar. For the most part he'd seen the human as a means to an end, and a translator for the Tree of Harmony when more complex ideas needed to be conveyed, but much of what he knew about him had been gleaned from what the Tree of Harmony plucked from his brain for its own use. If he only had that to go by, he would have thought that they were fairly similar in character, but he was somewhat aloof and reserved otherwise — very deliberate.
That, and Oscar had never seemed to have an issue with spending most of his time working for his sake when he was in the astral plane. It was all rather curious, so he decided to try and learn more about him, since he had no idea how much contact they would have after his release, if any.
"So," he casually began while turning his head to regard Oscar, as if he weren't breaking an awkward silence, "what are you doing after this?"
Oscar shrugged his shoulders. "Go back to being bored all the time, I guess."
Discord raised an eyebrow. "This was your idea of having fun? It looked like all work and no fun, to me."
"It's nice being productive," Oscar replied, who stared out into space, both literally and figuratively. "And it was a lot more interesting than what awaits me in my waking life."
"Oh?" Discord prompted.
Oscar's gaze deliberately drifted to Discord until they made eye contact, at which point he calmly listed, "No magic or fantastical creatures; a world overrun by corruption and greed; living in poverty; having no friends, or family worth mentioning; being a shut-in; escapism through the Internet; not being able to express myself." He paused for a second. "Just to name a few things."
"...I see," Discord lamely replied.
As silence descended upon them again, Discord glanced over at the Tree of Harmony, wondering what their thoughts about the alien were, what with knowing Oscar longer and — he assumed — better. What he didn't expect was to see a screen appear outside of Oscar's view, near to where he had been looking, and on it appeared Uncle Sam, sans the recruitment message. Furrowing his brow, he tried to divine exactly what the Tree of Harmony was trying to convey to him.
Before he could figure it out, Princess Celestia faded into view at a leisurely gait. He noted her smile, and how it vanished when she saw him and Oscar, as if she had been expecting something — or someone — else.
"Oh," she voiced her surprise, as reined-in as it was, her curiosity evident as her attention fell upon the Tree of Harmony. "What is going on?"
"We reformed Discord," Oscar answered for the Tree of Harmony, gesturing toward the aforementioned draconequus.
Celestia blinked her eyes at the unexpected statement before she regarded Discord and said, "Is that so?" Upon receiving a nod of affirmation, she continued. "What a coincidence: I was thinking of giving that a try, myself." Turning her attention to Oscar, she asked, "To what extent was he reformed?"
Oscar replied, "Harmony can show you a training montage if—"
Interrupting with a forced cough, Discord said, "That won't be necessary," then proceeded to give Celestia a rundown of what he had gone through and why.
When he was finished, Celestia considered what she had learned for a moment before saying, "While that wasn't what I had in mind, I can see the wisdom in it." She offered him a smile. "Please be sure to make things interesting at the castle every now and again."
While Discord was stunned by that invitation, and the Tree of Harmony displayed an image of prince Blueblood covered in remnants of cake, Celestia focused on Oscar and offered him a warm smile. "Now, who might you be? I'm Princess Celestia, but you may drop the title in present company."
"Oscar," he responded, who briefly raised his hand in greeting. "A drifter of the astral plane."
Her interest piqued, Celestia tilted her head and inquired, "A drifter, you say?"
Oscar shrugged his shoulders. "Apparently I'm too detached from reality for my spirit to remain in my body while I sleep."
"Do you suffer from a malady of the mind?" Celestia asked, concerned out of sympathy.
"Nah," Oscar answered, casually waving the notion away. "Life just sucks."
Celestia, who had more years of experience as a public speaker than most ponies got to live, barely missed a beat before she spoke, her expression sad. "I'm sorry to hear that. If there's anything I can do to improve your situation, feel free to ask. It's the least I can do for your help."
Oscar nodded his head, but said nothing.
"Well," Celestia continued, deciding to move on when it became apparent that Oscar had no immediate requests, "I'll go and gather the girls so they can release you, Discord." She raised a hoof to her mouth and allowed herself a modest giggle. "They're going to be so surprised."
Because her brief exchange with Oscar had helped Discord figure out what Uncle Sam might have been used for, he didn't notice her final words, which he might have found interesting. Instead, while Celestia left to put actions to words, he went over to the Tree of Harmony and whispered his idea to it while Oscar simply stayed put and stared at the space where Celestia had vanished, unconcerned.
The Tree of Harmony responded with an image of Jay Gatsby, raising his wine glass.
When Celestia arrived at the outskirts of Ponyville on her chariot, along with the petrified Discord in tow, she saw that only four of the six element bearers were present, plus Spike. While they were busy staring at Discord in shock, while he was being unloaded from his chariot, she stepped down from her own and waited for them to recover.
Eventually, Twilight Sparkle was able to speak while she approached her. "With all due respect, Princess Celestia," she began, before hollering, "how could you bring Discord here !?" She covered her mouth and cleared her throat, then lowered her head and weakly tacked on, "Your Majesty."
"I'm fully aware that the last time Discord was here, he created serious havoc," Celestia genially acknowledged.
"If by 'serious havoc'," Rainbow Dash interjected, "you mean 'turning Ponyville into the chaos capital of the world...'"
"...And tricking us into being the opposite of our true selves..." Rarity added.
Pinkie Pie jumped in next, becoming louder and more upset toward the end. "And making yummy, delicious chocolate milk rain all over the place without a single dollop of whipped cream to go with it anywhere in sight! Not a single dollop !"
While her friends gave her questioning looks due to what she prioritized, Celestia took it all with aplomb and said, "Yes, I understand. But don't worry: he's been reformed."
That elicited a variety of shocked actions and exclamations, followed by Rainbow Dash zipping over to Discord and looking his frozen form over skeptically. "How can you tell?"
"I have my ways," came Celestia's enigmatic response, who wasn't bothered by any of their doubt or how her secrecy obviously didn't sit well with most of them. "Now, as you may have guessed, I've brought him here so that you may release him with the Elements of Harmony. Mind you, he's still going to cause trouble, albeit with more discretion, but he'll also use his powers for good and fun."
"And good fun !?" Pinkie Pie excitedly asked.
Celestia chuckled. "And good fun, I'm sure."
Pinkie Pie hopped into the air and cheered, "Woo-hoo !"
The others looked between each other with uncertainty plain on their faces, before Twilight Sparkle finally turned to Celestia and said, "Alright, Princess Celestia." She paused. "If you're sure?"
Celestia nodded her head. "Your worry is understandable, but — please — give him another chance." Being the keeper of time, essentially, she knew it was time to make her exit because of her tight schedule, so she turned her body toward her chariot to make her intention known as she continued to speak. "If you desire more details about his release, you may send me a letter if you can't trust an answer from him, but — for now — I must return to Canterlot for Equestria's royal summit."
After she gave them the Elements of Harmony, which would allow their bearers to release Discord, and reassuring them that she had cast a spell that would prevent Discord from taking and hiding them, just in case, she boarded her chariot and bid them farewell before leaving.
After a moment of silence, as they watched Celestia fade into the distance, Spike spoke up and asked, "Does anyone else have a bad feeling about this?"
"Uh, yeah ," Rainbow Dash opined, as if the answer were a given. "The princess herself said he's still going to cause trouble."
Rarity expressed her confusion about the matter, saying, "Yet he's supposed to be reformed?"
"I don't get it, either," Twilight Sparkle admitted, with a shake of her head, "but I trust the princess' judgement. And if he actually hasn't changed his ways, we can always use the Elements of Harmony to seal him away again."
With their fears thus mollified, they retrieved Fluttershy and Applejack, got them up to speed, and addressed their own misgivings. After all that was out of the way, they proceeded to don their respective elements, surround Discord, then blast him with a rainbow that released him from his stone prison.
Discord came out screaming, but it transitioned into a pained groan when he grasped his zig-zag-shaped neck on both sides and pressed it back into shape with a disturbing chorus of snaps.
"Oi!" He exclaimed, as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Getting turned into stone so soon after the first time will give such a crick in the neck!"
Seeing his audience, who had gathered together in front of him and wore serious expressions on their faces, he perked up and said, "Oh, is this a welcoming committee? For me ?" He placed a paw across his heart. "You shouldn't have!"
"As if !" Rainbow Dash scoffed.
Discord disappeared in a flash of light and reappeared in the same manner next to Rainbow Dash, who would have "jumped" with an involuntary flap of her wings if he hadn't looped an arm around her and pulled her uncomfortably close. "So mean!"
He teleported over to Twilight Sparkle next and draped over her, back facing back, but close enough for his head to hang by hers as he slyly said, "Is this how you give someone another chance?"
Twilight Sparkle gave him a no-nonsense look and replied, "Can you blame us for being cautious?"
"Hmmmm," Discord hummed in thought, making it look like he was seriously considering it. Then, the facade fell and he evenly stated, "I suppose not."
With another flash, he was back where he had started. After clearing his throat behind a fist, he said, "Anyway, I've already taken the opportunity to do a good deed, as a sign of good faith, but there's a problem."
"Why aren't I surprised to hear that ?" Drawled Applejack.
Discord pulled the letter "I" from his mouth, which had a visible display of stench wafting off of it, and tossed it at the interrupting mare, who wisely put her reflexes to good use and dodged it. His arms akimbo, he said, "Yes, well... I was taught how to live in a society as a spirit of chaos, not how to be a parent."
The silence that ensued was so complete that Fluttershy's soft voice was akin to a yell when she got around to expressing the same disbelief as her friends. "A... parent?"
In response, Discord swung his tail around so its end was in front of him, which now bore a sleeping passenger. Said passenger being introduced was a green-coated filly who had hair that was reminiscent of clouds, except lime in color and black swirls mixed in. Where one would normally expect black eyelashes, though, there were white ones. "Meet Oddball."
There was more silence, and this time it was broken by Spike, who was among those that had yet to catch onto the fact that something beyond their knowledge must have happened while he was encased in stone, which Celestia had been privy to. "But... How?"
Discord looked left, then right, before leaning forward and speaking quietly while he held his open paw beside his mouth. "Well, you see, when a draconequus and a friendly tree love each other very, very much..."
Twilight Sparkle cleared her throat to interrupt him, in case he was willing to go into more detail. While she was curious as to whether there was any truth to what he was saying, she felt it more pertinent to address the fact that he had a filly in his possession, since she couldn't yet trust that he hadn't abducted her. "What are you doing with her?"
"Isn't it obvious?" He replied, with a cocked eyebrow, before setting the filly onto the ground, in front of Twilight Sparkle. "I'm foisting the responsibility for taking care of this filly onto all of you. Ciao!"
Before anyone could get a sound out in protest, he was gone. Or so they thought, until his disembodied voice added, "Oh, and if you need me, I'll be settled in Ponyville soon enough. Don't trip over yourselves to deliver gift baskets, my soon-to-be neighbors!"
Everyone looked between each other, wondering how to react to what had just happened, when a groan drew their attention to the filly that Discord had left with them. She soon opened her eyes, revealing black sclera and light green eyes that had black, swirly lines for pupils, indicating that she might actually be Discord's child instead of a normal pony.
She stared at them for a bit before her gaze wandered, exploring the environment. Then she looked down at herself, where she appeared to pause before she inspected the rest of her body. Eventually, her attention returned to them and she calmly asked, "Where am I, and why am I a pony?"
Six Mares and a Little Filly
Not expecting that second question from "Oddball", it took a moment for anyone to reply, which Twilight Sparkle elected to do as she stepped forward and concernedly asked, "You're not supposed to be a pony?"
"Nope," Oscar replied, not expressing any of the behavior that everyone else present would have expected to see from someone whose body had been changed against their will. "I don't appear to be on the same world, either."
"You're an alien!?" Most gasped or exclaimed, with varying degrees and combinations of shock, interest and fear.
Seeing their reactions, Oscar cautiously said, "Uh... Is that still true if I'm a pony like you now?"
"Looks can be deceiving," Rainbow Dash asserted from where she hovered, her forelegs crossed as she regarded Oscar with suspicion.
"Now, hold on," Applejack inserted herself as she spared the pegasus a glance, knowing things could get out of hand if they went off on a tangent. Turning to Oscar, she pointed out, "Discord claimed that you were his child. Is that true?"
"He did?" Oscar responded, who blinked her eyes in mild confusion. "Well, if it's true, then not in the traditional sense: I was a thirty-three-year-old human the last time I was aware."
"What's a human?" Spike inquired, from his safe position at Rarity's side.
Oscar assembled a description in her mind that she felt was a comprehensive enough image before replying, since she'd never had to describe her former race before. "A human is a mammal that walks upright on two legs, has hands, sparse body hair except for the top of their head, and have no tail but are really keen about getting some."
The native ponies and young dragon were too innocent to catch the innuendo, and thus found that final detail a bit strange. It also made Twilight Sparkle more curious about an observation that she had made instead of sating her interest in the human race in general, which led her to inquire, "Is that why you're taking your transformation so well? Because you have a tail?"
"...Nah," came Oscar's belated reply, due to her joke being taken literally. "I actually find all of this interesting. I'm only worried about what I'll do for food, shelter and all that."
"What about your friends and family?" Rarity asked what was on most of their minds.
Shaking her head, Oscar casually replied, "I don't have any of the former, and I'm not close to any of the latter."
That answer inspired mixed reactions of disbelief and sympathy, and a few were even aghast, so she decided to change the subject before anyone decided to try and travel any further down that unpleasant road. "Anyway," she began, while she slowly and shakily raised herself onto all four hooves, "can I eat grass? That'd make it easier to explore the world."
"Absolutely not!" Rarity declared, with a stomp of her hoof, who had finally come to a decision on how to handle the situation that Discord had left them with.
Oscar's ears drooped of their own accord. "What can I eat, then?"
"Not that!" Rarity replied, before she calmed herself down and lowered her voice to a normal level. "I mean, regardless of what you were before, you're a lost filly without a guardian right now, and you don't even know what you can eat. It would be unconscionable to allow you to wander off on your own."
Rainbow Dash spoke up in objection and said, "You're not suggesting—"
"Okay," Oscar deferred, who noted that her cooperation was widely unexpected. "I'll place myself in your care if it's not too much trouble."
"We'll need to inform Princess Celestia about this, anyway," Twilight Sparkle reasoned, to stave off a potential argument. "Let's see what she thinks about this before we commit to anything."
"Princess Celestia?" Oscar said, his ears perked up in interest. "Is she a big, white horse with a tattoo of a sun on her flank and multi-colored hair that kind of looks like an aurora borealis?"
"You know the princess?" Applejack voiced the question that was at the forefront of their minds, and deemed more important than correcting her usage of "horse" and "tattoo", which could easily be explained by her alien origin.
"I met her briefly," Oscar affirmed, with a nod of her head. "She's one of the last things I remember before waking up here."
The element bearers exchanged looks before coming to a silent agreement, which Twilight Sparkle voiced by saying, "Then it's decided: I'll contact Princess Celestia and see what she has to say. You can stay with me in the meantime."
Oscar opened her mouth to speak, but her new stomach chose that time to loudly announce that it was tired of being empty. In response, Pinkie Pie yelled, "Hold on," and zoomed over to a seemingly-ordinary bush nearby, which she jabbed a foreleg into before rummaging around in it for something. "Don't worry, Oddball! I have snacks stashed all over Ponyville, in case of snack emergency!"
While her friends silently wondered how that worked out with something perishable, she soon found what she was after and quickly presented it to Oscar, who reflexively leaned her head back when a chocolate cupcake topped with cream cheese frosting was thrust into her face. Since she couldn't help getting a good look and whiff of it, she observed that it seemed to be in an edible condition, so she plopped onto her haunches in order to accept the cupcake. Once she was sure that it was securely clamped between her hooves, she leaned in and took a bite.
Face lighting up at the flavor, she swallowed before proclaiming, "This is good!"
As Pinkie Pie happily bounced in place for a bit at the praise, the other element bearers and baby dragon relaxed more as they watched the strange filly doing something completely benign and normal. They couldn't completely dispel her odd appearance and alien origin, and the wariness it engendered, but it was a big help that she wasn't being hostile or combative.
When Oscar was finished eating, and was sure that she had licked up all the frosting about her muzzle, she regarded Pinkie Pie and asked, "Why did you call me 'Oddball?'"
Pinkie Pie cocked her head and guilelessly replied, "That's what Discord called you."
"That's not your name?" Applejack prompted, who honestly wouldn't put it past Discord to lie unnecessarily about what someone's name was.
Oscar shook her head. "It's Oscar, but I like the sound of Oddball: seems more appropriate, all things considered."
"You'll change your name... just like that?" Rainbow Dash asked, giving voice to the incredulity of the group.
Oddball simply replied, "Yup."
Pinkie Pie giggled and good-naturedly remarked, "You are an oddball!"
"Are you sure?" Twilight Sparkle inquired of Oddball. Upon receiving confirmation, she decided that it was time to move on, because she wanted to get a response from Celestia sooner rather than later. So, she spoke up and addressed everyone, saying, "Then let's head back into town. I have a letter to write, and we should keep an eye out for Discord and make sure he's actually trying to integrate into our society."
As some of her friends voiced their agreement, with Rainbow Dash particularly eager for a fight if Discord proved to be a threat, she returned her full attention to Oddball and asked, "Are you able to walk?"
Oddball got all four hooves underneath herself once again and gave it a try, but it quickly became apparent that she wouldn't be going anywhere fast. To a native onlooker she looked like a foal that was taking its very first, unsteady steps, and that image broke through Fluttershy's reservations, who hurried over to her and softly offered, "Would you like me to carry you?"
Looking up at the yellow pegasus who had lingered in the back of the group and hadn't said a word to her until right then, Oddball got a good feeling from her and offered a little smile. "Yes, please."
Fluttershy carefully placed her on her back, with all four legs splayed out. Having a warm body with a fur coat resting against another was a completely new experience, and it was far from unpleasant. In fact, when her ride began to walk, and the motion shifted her around enough for a gentle belly rub, she couldn't help resting her head and releasing a sigh of contentment.
"This is nice," she thought to herself.
While Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy headed to the former's house with Oddball, and the others went their own way, Rainbow Dash took to the sky and began to scope out the town for any sign of Discord.
When she saw a literal sign a few minutes in, absolutely enormous in size and as flashy as a rainboom, pointing to a slab of stone with Discord's talon and paw prints within a star, she couldn't help groaning at what that meant. Still, despite his awareness of her activity and whatever he planned to do about it, she set her jaw and continued her search.
She was in the middle of her fourth sweep of the town when she noticed it, perhaps after overlooking it one or more times. It was a modest, two-story, beige-colored house, of a style she'd never seen before, yet it gave the strong impression of being super ordinary even though it was the only one of its kind in Ponyville. The yard was perfectly flat and green, enclosed by a white picket fence, which was only broken by a stone pathway that connected the fence's gate to the front door. The completely straight and sharp-edged dimensions of the place was probably a mathematician's dream, but the sight unsettled her greatly.
Narrowing her eyes, she dove toward the front door, since the drawn curtains wouldn't afford her a look through any of the windows. However, long before she got there, she slammed into an invisible barrier that sounded like a thick pane of glass, which would have shattered had that been the case. Oddly enough, despite how hard she had flown into a barrier that had no give to it, the expected pain hadn't accompanied it at all.
Her brow furrowed in equal parts pique and confusion, she backed away and reached out to see if the barrier would be persistent, which turned out to be the case. At her touch, a two-dimensional image of Discord appeared on its surface, only shown above the elbow, his expression and pose one of disapproval. Below his image was a blue text box surrounded by a white border, and on it a message began to appear one white character at a time, accompanied by some electronic sound effect that sounded like something she'd once heard in an arcade, which read, "What are you, some kind of Neighanderthal? Use the gate!"
She glared at the message before complying, muttering under her breath along the way. When she landed in front of the gate, another white-bordered text box appeared on the barrier, this one asking what her reason for visiting was. However, much to her annoyance, every option provided on the list of responses was the same one: "browbeat Discord." She wasn't familiar enough with the word to know what it meant, but she was already contemplating introducing a hoof to some part of Discord's face, if that's what it was implying.
"Come on!" Came her indignant response. "Just let me through!"
The text box disappeared, replaced by yet another one. This time there was a title above it, reading, "Guest Agreement," and below were buttons that gave the option to accept or decline. As for the content within the text box itself, it began with "Terms and Conditions" and seemed to continue beyond what the text box's size could show.
"...What the heck is this?" She said, becoming more irritated.
While she was pretty sure that it wouldn't be a good idea to press the "accept" button, she did it anyway because: one, if Discord was truly reformed, there shouldn't be any real reason to be concerned; two, if he wasn't reformed, they could get straight to the business of kicking his flank and sealing him away again. The fact that she had next to no patience for his games was just a coincidence.
Instead of being allowed to approach the front door, however, another text box popped up, this one reading, "Please read the Terms and Conditions if you wish to proceed."
Her brow developed a tick and she deadpanned, "How about: no."
With that decided, she hopped into the air, swiftly did a one-eighty spin while rearing her back legs, then bucked as her front hooves hit the ground. Her back hooves felt a fleeting bit of resistance as they cleared the barrier, and she heard the satisfying sound of breaking glass at the same time. Without wasting any time, she about-faced and dashed toward the gate.
"Ha!" She crowed, as she jumped over it. "As if you can—"
The sight that greeted her on the other side of the fence was enough of a surprise to make her stumble when she landed, but she was able to recover from it. With wide eyes, she gazed at her surroundings, which were completely different from what she had seen before. The flat ground was anything but, with many mounds and pits, and the green grass showed up in patches and were rarely green — even the dirt looked odd in most cases. Then there was the stone path, which had become one of those spring snakes that you prank someone with, except it was flat and wound aimlessly into the air from the ground.
Lastly, there was the house, although she doubted that was an appropriate term for it now. Instead of the "normal" abode from before, it was more of a tower that branched out in several directions, often in defiance of the laws of physics as well as practicality. There were several floating land masses around it also, some of which were loosely connected by some odd thing or another. The top section didn't even appear to be habitable, since it looked a lot like a lava lamp, what with there being several large blobs of... something leisurely drifting up and down within a seemingly-defined space.
Looking over her shoulder and toward the fence, at where she had come from, she saw the edge of the floating island that she now found herself on instead of Ponyville, and beyond that was the same "sky" that she saw everywhere else. She didn't know what it was, but it was primarily black, a couple shades of purple, and pale, light blue, and she swore that she could make out recognizable shapes among the chaos of colors if she stared long enough.
Swallowing her fear, she focused her attention on the zigzag-shaped front door and approached it. She raised a hoof to knock upon it with excessive force, but it suddenly swung open before she could. Standing in the doorway was her query, only he was dressed up as a frumpy old woman, which included makeup and a short, curly wig. Before she could fully react to the sight, he leaned down and planted a wet kiss on her forehead with an accompanying, "Mwuh," sound.
"Ugh!" She immediately voiced her disgust, before stepping back and furiously rubbing her forehead with a foreleg while she kept her eyes trained on the one who had offended her. "So gross! No way you're reformed!"
"How so?" Came Discord's seemingly-innocent reply, as he gripped the top of his wig and somehow managed to pull his entire outfit off, which he casually tossed over his shoulder. "I thought it was normal for neighbors to borrow sugar."
"That wasn't normal and you know it!" Rainbow Dash angrily retorted.
Discord cocked an eyebrow. "And it's normal to barge onto someone's property with ill intent?"
Rainbow Dash regarded him as if he'd said something ridiculous. "You can't expect us to just trust you, after what you did." She jabbed a hoof at him accusingly. "And here you are, hiding away in some freaky, nightmarish place!"
Gasping and pressing his paw against his chest, like he'd been scandalized, Discord replied, "I'll grant you your first point, but to think you'd sink so low as to insult my tastes in location, landscaping and architecture — which are quite refined, I'll have you know."
"Uh-huh," Rainbow Dash flatly replied, not buying it.
Discord crossed his arms and became serious. "At any rate, there's nothing I can say that will convince you that I'm reformed, or what my intentions really are, so you're wasting your time." Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to respond, but he preempted her and said, "Yes, yes: you're going to keep your eyes on me, and if I pick my friend's nose wrong I'll become a stiff before I can say any last words."
Put out by his assertion, however accurate it was, Rainbow Dash glared at him for a moment before saying, "Whatever," and turning around to leave, feigning nonchalance as she headed toward the exit that he could probably close off to her if he so desired. Much to her relief, however, she was able to jump over the gate and re-enter the normal world, where she took to the air and flew toward Twilight Sparkle's place, so she could report what she had learned.
Back in his pocket dimension, Discord had been unnaturally still and silent since she had disappeared from his sight, but he finally let loose his laughter, which began as long, loud guffaws. He eventually had to lean against the doorjamb while he hugged himself, as the gales of laughter continued, inspired by his memory of Rainbow Dash's tough behavior and sharp looks, and what he imagined would happen when one of her friends saw her...
...With bright, red lipstick smeared across the top half of her face.
Pre-teen Markless Questing Fillies
By the time Oddball and company had entered the town proper, Rainbow Dash had rocketed off to find Discord, while Applejack and Rarity had opted to take more direct routes toward their respective homes.
Oddball had decided to remain quiet and take in her new surroundings, unless she saw something worth questioning or someone initiated a conversation with her. There was a lot to take in, between being in a cartoon universe, among sapient equines, and a town whose architecture appeared to be inspired by several cultures or something that came straight out of someone's fanciful imagination.
Since Fluttershy was the caboose in their group, she couldn't help noticing Pinkie Pie and her merry pronking ahead of them. She'd often wondered if perpetually positive people actually existed, especially since she had almost always seen them through a camera's lens. Life hadn't given her much reason to believe that it was great to be alive, so, while she could accept happiness that was fleeting, beyond that she had to wonder if it was just a show, a lie, or — perhaps — a way of coping with reality. She decided that it might be worth asking Pinkie Pie about her behavior at some point, if it proved to be normal for her, since she had never had the opportunity to find out if such behavior was ever genuine or not.
Eventually, as they ventured into an area with more traffic, she noticed that she was drawing attention, and not necessarily the good kind. At least, with how expressive the ponies' cartoon faces were, she was fairly confident that she recognized nervousness and fear. And if that weren't apparent enough, many avoided eye contact when she glanced at them, and some even hurried indoors or around a corner to avoid being seen entirely.
She found these reactions puzzling, because she had seen enough of herself to be fairly certain that she looked like they did. Before she could ask Fluttershy or Twilight Sparkle about it, her attention was caught by a fast-moving object out of the corner of her eye, which was traveling down the street that they had just begun to cross. The object in question turned out to be a wagon hitched to a scooter, with the latter being driven by a young pegasus. Said pegasus seemed to be propelling the scooter with its wings, while two more ponies of a similar age were riding in the wagon.
Before the trio of young ponies drove by in front of them, she caught the eyes of the pegasus, which she recaptured on the other side of Fluttershy's head. She watched as they skid to a halt, much to the surprised yelps of their companions, then pointed in her direction while her ride continued to cross the street. She couldn't make out much of what was said, beyond a "Fluttershy" and "safe", likely due to emphasis, but it appeared that the pegasus had needed to make a bit of an effort to convince the ponies in the wagon to disembark and make a beeline toward her.
As they approached, the pegasus called out, "Hey, Fluttershy!"
Her ride stopped to receive them, and Twilight Sparkle followed suit since she wasn't going to abandon the subject of her letter, who was a big unknown to everyone. She got a better look of the three ponies as they drew near and surmised that all three were fillies, with one of the pegasus' companions having a horn and the other having neither that or wings.
It was quite obvious who they were really there for as they lined up beside Fluttershy, since they had a lot of trouble keeping their eyes on the mare, even as the unadorned filly asked, "Who's the filly?"
"And is she an alien ?" The pegasus pressed, much to the consternation of the filly who had spoken first and the chagrin of the one with the horn.
"Um..." Fluttershy hesitated, both from the forward nature of the confrontation and not knowing what she could or couldn't divulge.
Before Twilight Sparkle could decide on how to answer in her stead, Oddball elected to raise a hoof in greeting and say, "I'm Oddball, and I am an alien."
Twilight Sparkle applied a hoof to her forehead while the fillies regarded Oddball with wide eyes, and it wasn't long before the pegasus blurted out, "So little, green maretians are real!?"
"Even her eyes are black!" The ordinary filly observed.
"Hold on, girls," Twilight Sparkle interjected, as she stepped up to them. "She's not that kind of alien."
"That's right," Oddball concurred, filing away the color of her eyes for later. With a straight face, she added, "Your bum holes are safe."
The fillies looked confused, and the unicorn turned to her friends and asked, "Bums make holes?"
"What would they use them for?" Returned the ordinary filly.
"Who cares!" The pegasus directed at the other two, before turning her attention back to the apparently non-maretian alien. "What kind of alien are you?"
Oddball hummed in consideration before deciding on, "The from-another-universe-and-transformed-into-a-pony kind."
"Whoa!" The pegasus gasped. "You're from another universe!? That's even cooler!"
Twilight Sparkle cleared her throat and tried to get a handle of the situation. "Be that as it may, we really must be going. Princess Celestia needs to be informed about Oddball's presence, you understand." And decide if she's safe enough to live among us, she added to herself.
All three fillies were clearly disappointed, with the unicorn being the first to say, "Aw... Okay."
The pegasus wasn't going to leave it at that, though, who regarded Oddball and asked, "Where will you be staying? We can come and visit tomorrow or something."
Oddball pointed at Twilight Sparkle. "I'm with the purple one."
"Great!" The pegasus replied, before seeming to realize something. "Oh! My name's Scootaloo!"
"I'm Apple Bloom!" The ordinary filly introduced herself.
"And I'm Sweetie Belle!" Followed the unicorn.
They said goodbye and began to leave, but Apple Bloom's gaze reflexively went to Oddball's flank before she fully turned around, now that she wasn't so focused on the new filly being an alien, and couldn't help doing a double-take. "Hold on!" She guided her friends to look where she was looking. "Oddball doesn't have a cutie mark!"
"Hey, you're right!" Came Sweetie Belle's excited response, before her brow furrowed. "Wait. Can an alien get a cutie mark?"
"She could join our club and find out!" Scootaloo eagerly suggested.
While they were still delighting in that idea, Oddball quizzically asked, "What's a cutie mark?"
"A cutie mark represents a special talent that makes a pony unique," Twilight Sparkle succinctly answered, before turning to the three fillies and offering them a smile that didn't quite hide her impatience. "Now, we really must be going..."
Catching the hint, the three fillies began to make their way back to their scooter and wagon, conversing among themselves as they did so. Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy began to move shortly thereafter, and it was only then that Oddball noticed Pinkie Pie's absence. The last time that she remembered seeing her was right before Scootaloo had passed by on her scooter.
In the middle of wondering where she had disappeared to, she was interrupted by a familiar trio of voices from the street that they had put behind them, as they yelled, "Cutie Mark Crusader alien teachers! Yay !"
Spike shuddered and thought, "Why do I have a bad feeling about that?"
