Preparing Philosopher's Pie
Author's Note
This is my thirty–first clopfic out of the many that were made using canon characters this time as anthropomorphic beings instead of their normal forms; however, this is also a Mature–rated fanfic so unless you're in eighteen plus panel, stop right now and hit the back button.
Anyways, I just want to state for the record that My Little Pony, or rather Friendship Is Magic and its setting and characters belongs to Lauren Faust and Hasbro; that is all, nothing more, nothing less.
Enjoy it as you are, my dear friends: I can assure you that what shocked me is the fact that it took about an entire year for me to finish writing, editing, and uploading it to the site; I hope you can appreciate it and that we meet again.
Sweet Savory Specialty
If there was one thing that had proved to be noticeable, then it would be the sheer cold already beginning to envelope anything and anyone around itself; however, there were many things attempting to keep things warm and toasty. For starters, the sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel with its white noise hissing amongst a never stagnant but grayscale background; in addition, the clashes of silver chariot and star platinum gleamed. Within a large dream drop distance was a civilization defined in such various materials, most of them being the ones fit for the likes of even three little pigs, all of which accented with layers of ice and snow growing in color and quantity. The calm gentle breeze surfed across the grassy knoll, the white coverings surrounding it all on a solid lower plane of existence with a dirt road guided its way from a nearby forest, a curvilinear line worth holding as much as it is crossing. In the background, there had rested a blue ridged valley of mountains, raging with growth and erosion in the process of their trying times as the snow pounded onto and even off of the variant earth very rapidly without so much as a care. The fair town was scarce with its own denizens of various demographics: age, gender, finances, and social standing being nothing short from the standardized metallurgy of life at large; in spite of everything so far, there were exceptions.
Speaking of which, the azure unicorn was found to be right out and about with both mane and tail already matching the snowflakes blowing in the wind almost to no end in sight whatsoever. On his face was a pair of golden eyes circling about the pupils, both brows furrowed into glazed lids as they were struggling to maintain visibility against the shine in the storm going underway. Adorning the azure unicorn’s athletic build was a simple hoodie and sweatpants combo: although generally green, it was accompanied by orange accents all throughout its owner’s very body. Donned over the visage was a frantic glare with dentition white as a thick wool of a sheep trained to make false teeth; through the thin gaps, hot air escaped from there before losing its warmth.
“Damn, right in the… dead of January… no less: I’m so… gonna be looking… forward to Wrap Up… later onward; just… gotta get to the Corner…!” the azure unicorn had muttered crossly as some of the sleet made its way deep into his hot and heavy mouth.
In spite of the overwhelming precipitation, there were perhaps faint signs of life bustling about in a rather spacious place such as this; as a matter of fact, there was but one building in particular proving to be the case in question. To say it was resembling a certain food was an understatement: the frosted chocolate roofing got topped off with its towering cupola bearing the shape of a pink cupcake with three small purple lampposts already lit up as candles. That being said, it was still inedible due to its residential purpose; as a matter of fact, two objects were standing on the rooftop’s ends: a purple chimney with some smoke climbing up and a nest made of straw underneath a flower. The sturdy walls where the windows remained adorned had been clothed in a uniform species of platinum accented by the wood and glass plastered in many different shades of pink imaginable, thanks to the lights shining about. What had made it very special were the two stripey pillars colored in a pattern of pink and white as they were standing nearby a purple egress with a small stairwell of purple already between a flowerbed and a matching mailbox.
As he was trudging throughout the sleet and the snow, the winds had moved so fast he couldn’t hear anything else but a singular voice directed at him, “HEY, OVER HERE…!”
“Huh, who said that; where…?” the azure unicorn grunted quietly, looking for the source of the speaker from earlier almost instantly, “hello?!”
“COME OVER HERE…!” the secondary voice shouted again, this time piercing his eardrums at once.
Despite the whitewashing weather, the azure unicorn was quick to find himself an open door emerging from the nearby structure and had sighed, “here goes nothing…!”
Within only seconds, he’d stormed towards the ingress until the environment from before was no longer underneath his very cold hooves, exposed to dry land with the solidity of an old snake. The very ligneous but gilded ceiling in its entirety had but a simple chandelier complete with its own lights shining brightly as they were illuminating much of the entire area from top to bottom. Firmly within the azure unicorn’s line of sight, a variety of pastries and candies were on display: much of them covered up in glass cases either in close range or in shelf behind the countertops. Two flights of chocolatey stairs directed upwardly to the adjacent floor, possessing railings on both sides to provide safe passage for any lifeform traversing to and from there interchangeably. Resting near the ingress was a set of greenish carpeting that had their fair share of differences: one was a large circular rug with its vague swirl; the other, small quadrangles with two colors. All that remained to support the very room were a series of pillars far too reminiscent of the ones outside save for the darker color scheme and styling as they held up ceiling even at the corners.
Standing in the middle of it all was a singular pink pony, already within walking distance of the azure unicorn so to speak currently. From what he could tell, the tenant’s mane and tail had been inflated with its darker shade being restrained by a yellow sweatband. Donned upon the pink pony’s voluptuous figure, a baby blue blouse and a yellow skirt with its suspenders were being held in place. Her bright eyes, although matching the upper garments, lacked stillness and chill within the very irises thanks to the sudden visitation.
“Hello there, Pokey: I was expecting that there would be someponies caught out in the snowstorm but not you though; you’d seemed to be lost…” the pink pony greeted her aforementioned visitor rather quickly, “what happened to you: what were you doing outside in this weather…?”
“Oh, I’ve been exercising, Pinkie: training for the Games coming up real soon and one of the agents said that I have some real potential in making the cut as an archer; what are you doing all by your lonesome…?” the azure unicorn replied.
Smiling about, she’d giggled, “oh me? I’m just making sure that the foods the Cakes have made don’t go to waste ‘til they come back from their vacation, which won’t even be for a few more days…”
“Ah, I see…” he’d said while nodding about, “so they usually leave you alone like this whenever they go out…?”
“Only since I’d turned into a teenager several years ago, but don’t worry, we’re all grown folks here; besides, how long have you been firing your arrowheads lately…?” Pinkie had sniggered about while strutting over towards Pokey slowly.
Although the azure unicorn was at ease, he couldn’t help himself but take notice of the pink pony’s muzzle darkening in color; still, an answer had escaped from the former immediately, “since I was a little colt; what’s it to you…?”
“Hey now, we’re supposed to be friends; besides, I hate to see a strapping young pony get caught in a blizzard, especially at this time of year no less…” she’d sighed, suddenly stopping in place yet still smirking about albeit slightly so to speak of, “if anything, it has been a long time since I’d left the rock farm and thought about romance. All those years of mediocrity, drabness, and stoicism at home was wearing down on myself as well as the ponies taking about me being someponies else’s child rather than of my own daddy. I think back to the time when one of my sisters defended me back when we were just little fillies; one of the meanies had the audacity to liken me to one of the Shears ponies by saying I was descended from them. I remember the day they traveled to Rockville: a bunch of nice ponyfolk before they’d gotten up left as soon as they came here; now, the only place where I can find them so far is at the outskirts of Trottingham. Of course, they were able to leave me behind a recipe for a certain dish that they think should be shared by everypony besides themselves; as a matter of fact, I want to share this with you since your body is getting cold.”
“Oh really, what is it…?” he asked, brows risen.
Grabbing Pokey by the palms with little warning and/or hesitation, Pinkie had answered only merrily, “philosopher’s pie, silly; it’s a very simple recipe: take in some potatoes, butter, cream, salt, pepper, garlic, onions, apple, carrots, eggs, flour, sugar, spices, cheese, starch, sauces, tomato, leek, corn, peas and mushrooms, it will be ready to eat soon.”
“I haven’t tried it before but it sounds like a hot mess waiting to happen… no offense…” the azure unicorn sputtered out currently nearly face–to–face with the pink pony still beaming, “still, I am quite famished now that you mentioned it…”
“All the more reason to stay here: now, let’s go make ourselves some lunch; I couldn’t wait to eat, so I started up as soon as the snow fell earlier…!” she’d chirped, hopping straightaway from himself immediately into a nearby door while he followed after, staying closer to the ground itself.
Only when Pokey moved closer to Pinkie’s current location did he come to terms with the purpose of its overall structure immediately. After coming through the chocolate batwing doors, the azure unicorn noticed a nearby stovetop oven lined up underneath a grayish red shelf. The sink had crystal clear yet somehow sullied water inside, an otherwise safe haven for bacteria and protozoans adjacently to the windowsill. Meandering about were another shelf full of dishes on one side and a flowery cupboard right on the other, both sharing the space and in green. Even a rectangular dining table rested right in the very middle, topped off in white but otherwise chocolaty overall with a couple candy pieces. Another bunch of shelves were residing abaft himself, all of them filled to the brim with more confectioneries than he’d even dare to count. Lounging about nearby another, albeit pink door was a lighter cabinet, closed up with its golden heart and its strands of grain climbing after. Sprawled right across the congruently conjoined cornering counters were a series of foodstuffs, condiments, and cookware off of the floor.
As the pink pony focused her attention completely onto the stovetop under the lantern, Pokey remained at a loss of words himself even as his brain commented on his behalf, “so this must be who the Cakes have entrusted with their bakery? At this rate, it’s a miracle it hasn’t been burned to the ground or worse; on the other hand, the smell alone is giving me assurance in taking a chance: it smells good, just like my father’s cooking–––”
“What are you doing standing around like some character in a hypertext gamebook?!” she’d asked instantaneously, snapping her easily perturbed guest out of the observatory trance, “I would like your help in making this dish already; besides, it’s getting lonely cooking all by myself…”
“Oh, um… ‘kay then…!” the azure unicorn stammered about, mustering up the strength inside of himself to shuffle onward behind the tabletop.
The two equines were now inside the incomplete rectangle, surrounded by the food currently within reach and the aroma they were giving off: Pinkie was already reacquainted with the very task at hand so to speak considering the words she’d used while he’d became introduced to it all.
At that moment, Pokey was treated to the sight of some mushrooms as well as an assortment of vegetables searing about within a skillet with a brownish gold concoction alongside specks of green glittering; before any of his nostrils gave in to the majestic aroma up in front of himself, his pinker partner prattled about a request, “please pass the pepper, Pokey…!”
“O… kay then…” the titular traveler had said, noticing a little glass vial with some black powdery substance nearby the left side of the heated ingredients, “hold on, I just realized something: I need to wash my mitts…!”
“Yeah, now I see: I shouldn’t have forgotten that so easily… thanks for reminding about it; use the sink while you’re at it…” she said, focusing her attention on a large steely pot nearby himself as he moved towards the windowpane adjacently.
Pokey pushed onto the cold metallic handle abaft the faucet, watching the achromatic liquid escape from its confinement with sounds of rushing downpour as he ran his hands underneath it. It wasn’t even long when the azure unicorn felt both of his palms becoming soaked by the running water; soon, he drew one of them away and towards a nearby plastic bottle of ruby red. Now a scant few droplets of a thick and viscous colored liquid had landed right over the few fingertips before suddenly subsiding instantaneously, much to the lone observer’s relief at once. Kindled by the same stream of fluid, Pokey then had ran it against the now moistened hand and rubbed them both vigorously against one another within moments, lathered in frothing whiteness. In an instant, bubbles of all shapes and sizes now adorned them amongst the azure unicorn’s coat as the constant friction of such activity gave such significant qualities at once at this moment. Effortlessly, they were all quickly washed away by the downpour which he’d created earlier, restoring the coat back to its dampened yet otherwise original condition they were both once in.
As soon as Pokey turned off the sink and averted his gaze from the waters as well as the windowpane adjacent to them, he was treated to the sight that made his heart skip some beats: Pinkie crouched next to an oven was in the middle of putting something in before closing it back to take a stand yet in between the small timeframe, he’d caught a glance at a part of her flanks. Although that the azure unicorn was standing far away from his pertinent hostess in question, it was clear from her attire that, aside from being more suitable for a warmer climate, she was lacking in even so much as a piece of thick textiles to act as support whatsoever, or at least a safeguard from the cold air that may still be climbing into the establishment itself so to speak of. Another crucial detail that reinforced his eyewitness account was a small bead of liquid falling onto the green floorboard, splattering softly as she turned her fingertips towards the few buttons adjoining the stovetop and pressed them with undivided attention to the numbers in front of her opalescent pupils until she was satisfied by the projected information already inputted therein.
Needless to say, Pokey nervously directed his viewpoint onto the candy abaft themselves yet Pinkie was quick to regain his attention with her sultry sighing, “so, lunch will be ready in about thirty minutes at least; of course, the storm would still be raging by then. Either way, it’s going to be a long time for the both of us; do you have any idea on what would you like to do…?”
“What do you mean by that, Pinkie…?” the azure unicorn had replied, almost caught off–guard by the eponymous baker slowly strutting about towards his very direction, “there’s almost nothing we can do here of all places; at this rate, the snow will be finished piling up within several inches…”
“Actually, there is one… close your eyes…” she’d ordered, prompting him to take heed almost immediately.
It didn’t take long when their faces neared each other, let alone their owners’ lips also growing closer to one another before making first contact almost immediately. The pair of equines grew more eager as they had opened up to one another at once, their similar tongues finally slipping out to explore each other’s mouths in a daze. Such overwhelming ecstasy had caused themselves to quiver about as their hearts raced onward, still containing the strength to continue for at least a minute or two.
After Pinkie broke away from the osculation gently, she’d giggled at Pokey, “you know, even if you don’t bring home a win, you’ll still be one in my book…”
“You really mean it…?” the azure unicorn said to the plain pink pony who was stroking his snow white mane within the cloth, “but I thought you didn’t care about archery or the Equestria Games…”
“Quite the contrary, they’re the only thing that’s worth talking and the like: Mister and Missus Cake say it’s how they’ve been able to stay afloat for many years, decades even; but, I like to think they’re both much younger than they actually are, just like us…” she’d explained happily, slowly removing the hood off of his very head.
Pinkie was quick to notice how short and neat Pokey’s mane was and smiled big before himself as he said to her in return, “then how about we engage in some bit of young love…?”
“So soon; I wouldn’t have minded if you were even a decade older than me…” the pink pony had sniggered after kissing the azure unicorn on the lips again, “now, let’s get you outta that hoodie; at least you can see more clearly than you have before…”
“Okay…!” he’d exclaimed to her, shrinking into the sweater before casting it aside near the sink at once.
In its place was a black muscle shirt hugging Pokey’s mildly ripped abs yet they did little to cover his navel anyway: this was pleasing to Pinkie whom dropped down and blew her tongue into it with little warning and hesitation whatsoever; surprisingly, he couldn’t help himself but to laugh with the risk of tumbling over so to speak.
Breaking away, she’d hopped up, up, and away towards the nearby cupboard to retrieve two cylindrical cans almost in an instant, bearing the same size and material while cooing, “hey, Pokey, before we get right down to business, how about we do a little foreplay with one of these…?”
“I would, but aren’t you worried about using your employers’ ingredients so carelessly…?” the aforementioned guest stuttered about as he was handed a can, “what if they get mad and fire you?”
“Oh, just try it, Doubting McDoubterson, they can handle it: the Cakes trust me more than enough anyway; besides, they won’t be back for another few days…!” Pinkie had squealed about delightfully, aiming the thin nozzle at the azure unicorn’s face before taking a shot onto himself immediately.
Opening the tip of the similar container, he’d fired back at his pinker hostess and the foamy substance landed onto her kneecaps within seconds before laughing, “looks like I’d missed already…”
“And you’re supposed to be the top toxophilite; thankfully, I already have a solution for that: come a little closer to me…” she’d beckoned to Pokey playfully, prompting him to progress towards the former punctually; afterwards, she revealed her utter lack of underclothing with an abundance of extreme euphoria, squirting in between her bare legs, “eat up already… hero boy!”
At first, the azure unicorn was reluctant, his knees already on the floor with his muzzle now in the direction of his target: Pinkie’s sheath instantaneously covered in sugary sweet whiteness. Nevertheless, he’d slowly slid his tongue into the pink pony’s opaque primrose, earning a giggle from the latter as the former started licking the contents away without any resistance whatsoever. A few seconds later, Pokey now felt a hand resting on his white mane after sliding inwardly, no doubt a spontaneous response from the likes of her guiding him on the ins and outs altogether. All other options left for Pinkie was to moan slowly yet loudly for her whispering eye was so tight; even so, she soon even felt a tongue running around her legs while spreading them widely. Apparently, the azure unicorn could barely help himself but drooled every time he’d went sliding in and out of the pink pony repetitiously, his hands holding firmly onto her abdomen for support. At long last did she gave out more small moans which then turned into loud yelps of happiness the moment he’d licked further deeper within her sheath fervently, cleaning away the substance. Sheer cold from Pokey’s icy tongue had caused a clear fluid from Pinkie to squirt onto his taste buds warmly in return, adding further tartness to the sweets she’d recently painted over earlier.
“Oh, Celestia… you taste so good…!” the azure unicorn said to the pink pony before breaking away.
It didn’t take long for both equines to fall onto the floor slowly: of them, she was quick on the draw with a giggle no less while sitting on top of his waistline, “your breath was minty fresh yourself; anyways, wanna a taste of some milk…?”
“Would I?!” Pokey exclaimed as Pinkie undid the straps holding her blouse together before removing them, bearing her ample cleavage, “fuck yeah…!”
Aroused by the sight of the pink pony’s unbound form, the azure unicorn poked her yet remained on standby despite the chance already presented to him. Sure enough, he bent forward face first onto her bust and started to fondle them slowly with his fingertips, making the latter snort and moan in a legato. In preparation of what was to come, Pinkie only hardened a bit and Pokey had started suckling on them instantaneously, latching onto the nubs at once. Additionally, the azure unicorn even licked in between the bosoms while leaving behind ribbons of saliva around them without a care in the whole world. Generally, her moaning started intensifying when she’d felt some teeth now chewing over her cleavage, the solid liquid spurting about soon enough. Of course, it’d continued on for a mere few minutes until Pokey ceased siphoning away from Pinkie as the two ponies gotten tongue–tied once again.
“Now I know you’re eager to fuck me hard, but we’re still not done yet with the whipped cream yet; of course, I’m feeling in the mood for some jewelry; won’t you help me, pretty please…?” the pink pony had pressed the azure unicorn on.
In response, he’d slid his sweatpants off of the waistline, giving her a peak at the protuberance that prodded her earlier in its unclothed form with a quiet giggle: it was long as a ballpoint pen. At first, Pinkie had relied on her bare hands to knead the shaft around playfully like a joystick; before long, she’d gotten around to slipping her tongue out the mouth and slowly sliding around. Somewhat helplessly, all that Pokey could do was rest one of his hands onto the pink mane, stroking and patting about based on the movement its owner had made from licking the prepuce. It didn’t take long for the azure unicorn to grit his teeth when the pink pony now forwarded her very mouth in as he’d blushed about, enjoying the fact that she stimulated and siphoned about. Pokey then spread his legs a bit more further to give Pinkie some more room to lick away, drooling and blushing every time he’d felt her hot and heavy lips going around his firm yard. Suddenly, it was now being nestled in between the pink pony’s massive bust without warning, sliding throughout until the point became seen underneath the adjacent chin by the azure unicorn. She’d now started squeezing both her bosoms mutually on each side of it all with such mania, swaying them up and down concomitantly while her tongue had reached the tip of his shaft. Aroused at Pinkie’s efforts, Pokey moaned at the site of her being splattered across the very neckline before becoming caked further with their own fluids as they had both let out a big sigh.
The pink pony rose upward again with the spray can in tow as the azure unicorn watched on mewling about, “what are you still doing with the whipped cream, Pinkie; shouldn’t you go and finish cleaning me up…?”
“I will, silly: I just need to make things more even between the both of us; besides, I still miss your hot tongue drinking from my pussy anyway, especially with that whipped cream over it…” she'd answered him with a smile while hitching up her skirt to apply some more froth to her soiling primrose.
Afterwards, Pinkie turned around and planted her waistline over Pokey’s muzzle, both of their bodies now radians away from becoming mutually inverted towards one another as she’d started spraying some more white foam over his sodden prepuce. Contentedly, the pink pony had begun to mollycoddle the azure unicorn’s yard playfully, using a few of her own fingers to tickle its tip; in response, he was aroused and stuck out his tongue in her sheath almost immediately with full awareness of it all. She swayed her waist reactively, jouncing around lightly for at least several times and moaning quietly in delight while caressing her cleavage before she decided to do the same to his shaft, proceeding to forward hot and heavy lips around the area. Each time Pokey felt Pinkie slurping and licking what had been exorcise from his unyielding prepuce, it’d started to get harder and he’d started licking sharply inside the adjacent whispering eye; quickly, his hands now grasped on her rippling flanks. Since the azure unicorn’s tongue was intertwined with the pink pony’s sheath and vice versa with the yard, the instantaneous aria of libidinousness was stifled by their muzzles delivering pleasure to one another as well as the fruits of their labors. Soon, both equines had started transferring so much stimulating elation between themselves quickly, it would seem they would’ve been able to get their wishes; of course, only he’d got more out of the very ordeal she’d gone and put him through.
Still bent over, Pokey had gently stretched Pinkie’s fundament wide and moaned, “I’m still not done yet…”
“Hah… I know…!” the pink pony yowled before looking right back at the azure unicorn expectantly, “go on ahead… I can still take it…!”
Without a care in the world, he’d grabbed onto her croup once again, this time jutting his tongue into it as she’d given off a flamboyant moan. Even as Pinkie’s true blue eyes were currently facing where the candy stored upon, she was in contentment as Pokey held on firmly in tow. With the azure unicorn’s muzzle buried in the pink pony, he’d also stopped to lap at the adjacent primrose neath without any kind of warning. Each time his tongue switched back to her flanks and vice versa, saliva had curled down from the corner of the lips with both hunger and thirst. Needless to say, Pinkie had desired more than just this and that even as Pokey stretched her very fundament wide before forwarding back in. This caused the pink pony to moan even more loudly than before, closing her eyes again tightly for a brief trice before gurgling about loudly. Only the dribble from the azure unicorn’s tongue had surpassed the point of wishful thinking, in spite of the lacking restraints so to speak of. Nevertheless, she’d reveled in her helplessness from the warmth already permeating throughout her very croup in such an illustrious manner.
Pokey heaved as he’d slowly broken right away from Pinkie to stand upward with both knees bent while his shaft now aligned with her flanks, thanks to such sticky fingers. After stretching the pink pony’s fundament wide once more with feeling, the azure unicorn had plunged his shaft into it thoroughly; this made her blushing grin more excited. Needless to say, she was currently feeling more inclination each time he’d slowly rubbed against her croup while sliding his prepuce in and out rapidly, wavering on and off. Some vastly small high–pitched moans had escaped from Pinkie’s wet lips again along with the added panting, turning into intensely thunderous yelps of happiness once more. Even Pokey could barely help himself but grunted, panted, and moaned as well every time that his own thrusting yard punctured throughout forward and back repetitively. Sure enough, they’d started to gain some momentum, loving every second of such togetherness with but a little more tenderness as they both were moving around and about. Because of the hot and heavy atmosphere gaining ground, perspiration already poured through one another and salivation slowly escaped from their mouths with loud moans. With their continuous efforts now getting to a highpoint closely since such excitement was just around the corner, the two ponies were already comfortably numbed at once.
“FUCK…!” the azure unicorn cried out, just as a long beep was heard piercing his ears at the same time; this did absolutely nothing whatsoever to stop him from emptying the extract into the pink pony’s flanks.
She broke away from him slowly with a wet pop, panting and sighing with overwhelming exhaustion as she’d rolled over to look at the oven nearby them; despite this, the former found the strength to speak to the latter, “it’s ready…”
“Yeah, I know… look at all that batter…” Pokey groaned, looking upon Pinkie’s dishabille with gratification as she’d struggled to take a stand once more, this time with feelings of focus, “lunch is starting to smell good…”
“I know; I made enough for the both of us to last us until tomorrow…” the pink pony spoke back at once, putting on some yellow mitts.
The azure unicorn finally stood up on both of his hooves as well and asked, “what do you mean by that…? I’m sure that you told me that the storm would subside in a few hours not too long ago…”
“I never said anything about the snow, silly…!” she’d snickered, opening the oven to pull out some freshly cooked nourishment from the dark depths of the warm area, “besides, you’re gonna be needing your strength for tonight…”
“But I don’t have a condom…” he’d said.
After setting the food down on the countertop near the sink, Pinkie had reached deeply into her darkly colored mane and pulled out some pouches, replying happily, “at least, I always cum prepared; now then, let’s eat…!”
