You Gave Them WHAT?

by Akouma

Rating: everyone
Tags: Thorax, Pharynx, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2159

Thorax tells his brother that he gave away the remains of Chrysalis's throne. Pharynx is less than pleased.

Thorax tells his brother that he gave away the remains of Chrysalis's throne. Pharynx is less than pleased.

Published 2019-04-25 15:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-04-25 15:30:01 UTC

You Gave Them WHAT?

“You gave them what!?” Pharynx bellowed, so loud that even those outside the soundproofed council room could hear it. The other counselors, for their part, discreetly left the room before either side in this brewing argument asked for opinions. One might think that as counselors it was their job to offer opinions, but every changeling in that room knew that being on hand to offer commentary when the king and his brother argued was just wasting time and fanning the flames.

Thorax audibly gulped before speaking again. “The… the shard of Queen Chrysalis's throne. You know, as a gesture of friendship. They asked so nicely, and they're…” He recoiled as the look of anger on Pharynx's face deepened. “They’re putting it to good use!”

“Good use?” Pharynx leaned in and over his little brother, his hooves on the table between them for support. “Good. USE? These are our national treasures, and you give them to Equestria like candy on that insipid fall holiday they tried to export to us!”

Thorax put a hoof on the older changeling's chest and gently pushed him away. “Pharynx, we weren't doing anything with them, and sharing strategic resources is a good way to build relations with other world powers. World powers that have very low opinions of us these days. You uh… You know, with all those times we invaded Equestria. Back when Chrysalis was in charge. I'm doing everything I can to make every creature see us in a new light now that mom's gone.”

“I might not be a diplomat,” Pharynx grumbled, “but at least I know when a more powerful nation is bullying us. They know you're desperate to make amends for mother's crimes, so they ask for things that they don’t deserve because you're too afraid to say no! This is the Talisman all over again!”

It was Thorax’s turn to rear up and place his hooves on the table in anger. “I entrusted the Talisman of Mirage to Celestia so the ponies could educate their young about a small piece of changeling culture! Ocellus wrote back to us saying that every creature in her class was taught about it in their curriculum.”

Pharynx groaned. “You don’t get it, do you? When I was still doing drone work, I did a stint as a museum guard. Was going to steal some magic items made ages ago. One thing I learned the hard way is those exhibits don’t stay on display permanently. Not usually. They get sent as a temporary loan to the facility, they make a big attraction out of it for a few weeks, then it’s back to wherever it was being kept before. I didn’t have time to devise a scheme to steal it before it got sent back.”

“Is there a point to this?” Thorax asked.

“The point is that artifacts like that aren’t normally given over without an exact amount of time they’re staying. Tell me, where is Ocellus right now?”

Thorax rubbed the back of his head with a hoof, looking puzzled. “Um… she’s in the Hive. School is out for the summer.”

“So the school using our precious cultural artifact as part of its curriculum isn’t currently in session?” Pharynx said with a feral grin.

“Riiiiiight.”

“Great! So that means they gave the Talisman back to us, right? At least until their term starts back up again, and they need it for that lesson again?”

“Um, heh, no,” Thorax mumbled as he realized too late where his brother was going with this. “Celestia is holding it in the Canterlot vault until then. We agreed it would be a bigger security hazard to transport it that often. I thought you'd approve of that.” Thorax sighed and hung his head, his massive antlers clacking against the table.

“So now it's specifically in the place that Equestria keeps their most valuable artifacts. It's effectively their possession now. Sure, it would be a diplomatic incident if we asked for it back and they refused, but we both know we can't afford to take it back by force.

“I mean, we could always mount a stealth operation to reclaim it. After all, the security in their palace is notably lacking. Oh wait, my idiot brother gave them an even MORE powerful artifact with which to increase their security and scuttle my plans for future defensive works in the Hive!” Pharynx paused in his tirade until a new thought hit him. “Oh, and the greatest mind in their nation studied it and might be able to make more of it even if they give it back! One of our biggest defensive assets is now mass-producable by a rival nation. Do I have an accurate understanding of what happened here? Is there anything else about this I'm missing? Is there some tangible benefit to this? Anything at all?”

Thorax looked sheepish as he spoke. “Well, maybe not tangible, exactly, but-”

“Thorax, if you are about to say any phrase including the word ‘friendship’ I'm launching a coup.”

“Okay,” Thorax said with a gulp. “I won’t say it then. But I also finally got Equestria to sign a defensive pact with us. We agree to offer support if they're ever invaded, and they do the same for us. That's something you've been telling me to get for ages, isn't it?”

Pharynx sighed. “I guess I can't fault you for negotiating something I've been asking you to get. But you realize that we were effectively uninvadable with the throne shards in our possession, right? And that Equestria is one of the most consistently threatened nations on the planet. Good drones are likely to get hurt at some point in our lifetime over Equestrian conflicts, and our homefront is weaker. They robbed you. Robbed us. I know you try, Thorax, but maybe you should invite me to these negotiations next time.”

“Pharynx, you're lucky they'll even let you into the palace as part of my entourage. If you weren't a blood relation to me, they wouldn't.”

Pharynx waved a hoof dismissively. “And why is that? I'm a perfect guest. I leave my room clean. I'm polite to the staff and other representatives. I don't kidnap and impersonate anypony! I'm the model modern changeling!”

“They literally caught you disguised as a fly on the wall in a top secret meeting,” Thorax shot back with a deadpan glare and hooves crossed over his chest. “That gets you banned from any kind of secure negotiation, and I can't say I blame them. This kind of thing is why I have to bend backwards to build trust.”

Pharynx gasped. “I'm the chief of changeling security! Part of my duty is to keep you safe. As your brother and your subject, I take that very seriously. But if you don't appreciate the lengths I go to for your safety…”

“I know I may not be as tough as you, but I can handle myself. It's not like either of us could deal with an angry alicorn. Why do you go to extremes to keep me safe? You tend to go way beyond the job, like spying on top secret discussions.”

Pharynx slammed his hooves on the table once more. “Because you're the family I have left!”

Thorax got up from his seat, fluttered over the table, and gently placed a comforting hoof on his brother's back. Pharynx, for his part, lay down on the table beneath him looking defeated. “Something you want to talk about?”

“‘Want to’ is definitely not the right term.”

“Would you prefer ‘really obviously need to?”

“Fine,” Pharynx grumbled. “Like I said, you're what's left of my family, little grub. Mother? Deposed and exiled. Probably dead. Aunt Pupa? Lost in mother's coup, definitely dead. And Grandfather Mandible. We haven't seen father in years; I'm not counting on him returning. I… I miss the old days, Thorax.”

Thorax gave his brother a troubled look while gently rubbing his back. “I thought you had come around to my way of doing things.”

“No no no, the days before mother was queen. Before ponies found out about us. Before we were the scourge of Equestria. Before we were some bogeymare to their children.”

“And what does that have to do with mom's throne? Or the Talisman?”

“It’s kind of the same thing. That's what's left of who the changelings used to be. That's our culture, brother. And you give it away to the ponies like cheap souvenirs. Then you import the ponies’ culture. We are less our own people today and more a parody of theirs. Don't these things mean anything to you?”

Thorax stiffened, his hoof stopping its gentle motion. “The things they mean to me are why I'm okay with letting them go.”

“Why?”

“I don't think it would shock you if i said we're different, Pharynx. You were strong. You were mom's pride. Her bravest, strongest drone. You have things worth holding onto from the old days. I don't.” He paused.

“Well, I have one thing worth holding onto. But I still have him. I could take or leave the doodads and knick-knacks we have here. If we can get some international goodwill from giving them to the ponies, I'd um… rather have that than the stuff.”

Pharynx narrowed his eyes at his brother. “Is there something you want to talk about?”

“Nope! Heh, not at all!” Thorax said, his eyes shifting anywhere but Pharynx.

“Okay, how about ‘really obviously need to’ talk about?”

Thorax sat on his haunches, breathing deeply. “I'm alright. Nothing to be concerned about.”

“You're a terrible liar, brother. You work in politics, how are you this bad at lying?”

Thorax huffed. “Honest discourse is important to building a strong relationship between nations. I don’t have cause to lie often lately.”

“You’re deflecting. We taught this technique to newborn grubs in the infiltrator program. Answer the actual question,” Pharynx said bluntly.

Pharynx was confused when he felt a drop of water hit his back. Looking behind him, he found his brother crying.

“I just… I can’t stand the old days, Pharynx. I know that there are little things here and there that were good, but not enough. I’m running from it. I don’t want anything of what we used to be. I know you must think-”

Pharynx swept the hoof still on his back away and turned to face his brother. “That what? That you’re a dismal coward? A traitor to our people? That there’s no acceptable reason to actively try and destroy our history?”

Thorax recoiled and sniffled. “Pharynx, please. I’m so-”

He was cut off by a hug so tight the wind left his lungs. “I don’t think those things, little grub. I get why you would want to move away from that. I just think you’re going too far.”

“Air,” Thorax wheezed limply. Pharynx loosened his grip just enough for his brother to breathe. “What do you mean?”

“Wanting to move forward is good. Wanting to erase the past isn’t. Mother used everything, including her throne, in twisted ways. But the throne wasn’t evil. She was.” Pharynx moved out of his hug to put his hooves on Thorax’s shoulders. “We could’ve used it. Repurposed it. Made it something to be proud of in a new age. But we won’t get that chance anymore.

“The Talisman is a little better; we can still get it back and renegotiate the terms of its loan. I’d like the chance for grubs within the Hive to learn about the great Mirage, instead of just Ocellus or any other grub we send off to the pony school.”

Thorax smiled for the first time in several minutes. “I think we can arrange that. What do you think, everybody? Should we request the Talisman back from the ponies to add to our curriculum as well?”

Thorax and Pharynx looked around the room and finally noticed that all the counselors had left.

“I hate when they do that,” they said in unison as they got up to go find the rest of the changeling legislature.

Author's Note

So, first I'd like to say that I'm aware that there are certain real-world debates that are still ongoing that sound vaguely similar to some of the things Pharynx and Thorax talk about here. (At least in the United States. And who knows, maybe I'm behind the times and these debates have been replaced by new, even bigger outrage over something.) I tried to keep the similarities to a minimum, and I hope I succeeded. I'm not going to ask people not to bring it up in the comments because I know how the internet works, but I will ask that if you do please be civil.

And then of course, thanks to those wonderful folks who donated their eyeballs to looking at this before posting! https://www.fimfiction.net/user/18058/Bugsydor and https://www.fimfiction.net/user/77473/hawthornbunny are cool people who you absolutely should've given a click before me!