The Pain Goes HERE!

by dudenotactive

How I Met Your Flesh Mother

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Krieg's eyes snapped open, the sound of the train's engine had become silent as it reaches it's destination, Axton, the commando, woke up from his sleep also. After he stood up, he noticed that Krieg was also awake, so he gave the psycho a wink before leaving to wake up the others. Thankfully Zero never actually slept today, he was busy training his skills all night to do so.

Salvador nearly hit Axton's face for rudely kicking him awake, the commando then went over to the siren of the group. Krieg turns towards his right to see Gaige leaning on his shoulder, still asleep even though Salvador was cursing loudly at Axton, the psycho gently shakes the mechromancer awake, her eyes flutters open before releasing a long yawn.

"Morning Krieg..." She sat up straight and stretched her limbs. "And morning to you too head Krieg."

*Good morning kid.*

The psycho stood on his feet before helping the teen up on hers. "Little man welcomes you to the flame pit of despair!"

Gaige laughed cutely at how he had delivered the message, everyone doesn't really believe the voice exists, it was just amusing to many to the idea of a very sane krieg trying to pilot the fleshy robot. After Krieg gave a little show as if he and the voice were a comedy duo for the younger Vault Hunter, the two exited the train and found they were at an entrance of a large tunnel that was far deep into the earth, the rest of the hunters were gearing up next to it.

They all entered the tunnel right after Gaige took out her assault rifle and Krieg with his Barbed Orphan Maker, funny story with the shotgun. Maya was the original owner of the weapon back at Oasis because she had found it first, but later after defeating captain Scarlett's pet, the male members had fought over for the gun Scarlett had dropped when she teleported away, after sitting down on Zero, holding back Salvador with his feet, and keeping Axton's head submerged in the Leviathan's stomach acid, Krieg had became the victor and held his prize in the air as Gaige only watched them amusingly. But Maya actually was interested on the Jakobs pistol, so she offered to trade the cursed shotgun to the psycho for it, you already know the results.

They were all currently doing a mission that was given to them by Lilith, she and the Crimson Raiders have lost connection with one of their spies after they were sent here to investigate a rumor of Hyperion activities, so now the Vault Hunters were here to find out what had happened. They soon came to a fork in the road, three different tunnels leading to who knows where, Maya turns to face her fellow hunters.

"Alright, guess we'll have to split up!" She turns towards the commando and the gunzerker. "Axton and Salv', both of you take the left."

"Guess it's team Guns and Guns for today!" Axton said as he held his fist towards the shorter man.

"We really should think of another name for the both of us, mi amigo." Said the short man as he pounds his fist on Axton's, they both then hurried down the tunnel to find things to kill.

"Zero?" The assassin looks up to the siren, waiting for her choice. "I'm sorry for this, but your with Krieg today, take the right one."

"Ninja man, ready the knives, we're cutting the life off the meat sacks today!" Krieg joyfully waved his buzz axe around, nearly hitting said ninja.

Zero sighed heavily as he was chosen to partner up with the psycho. "Team Blades it is..."

"Aww!" Cried Gaige. "I wanted to partner up with Krieg today, plus ours don't sound cool!"

Maya shook her head as she began walking towards the middle path. "You were partnered up with him last week. And what's wrong with our team?"

"Team Mystic? I wanted ours to be Steel Grip." She muttered to herself as she follows the siren.

Krieg quickly heads down the tunnel they were told to explore, eager to find faces to skin, Zero was just right behind him. After a few minutes of walking, the assassin decided to use this opportunity to complete one of his challenges, to teach Krieg haiku.

*No, that's too many syllables, and that's not a word. You're going to disappoint him more with this. Krieg... What the heck is that?*

"I'm finished!" Krieg happily handed the piece of paper he was writing on to Zero.

Three dots appeared on his face as he read the haiku Krieg had made, if Zero had to rate it, it would have been a zero.

"Another failure/ This challenge will be the last/ That I take from Gaige." Zero crumples the piece of paper and threw it away. "Hopefully you will soon learn even the simplest haiku, even though teaching you is troubling, I have yet taught you hard enough, so this challenge is still a Zer0."

*See, I told you, but don't let that bother you big guy, its actually easy. Maybe you'll get the hang of it tomorrow.*

The two soon came across a small hole in the wall, inside they could see light in the distance, they would have gone through but Zero was the only one that could fit through from the two. But that didn't stop the psycho as he had thought up a plan, Krieg took out the bundle of dynamite he had and placed them at the mouth of the hole, after the cave shook from the explosion, Krieg and Zero casually entered and walked towards the light.

They soon find them selves at an underground pond that glowed bright enough to light up the cavern, it was only waist deep though, they look up to find a suspended town above the pond.

*This place is amazing! Krieg, take a picture so we-Gah!*

When the voice just suddenly expresses pain, Krieg let out a confused grunt before tapping his head a bit, he received only pained noises from the voice. His action attracted the assassin's attention.

"What is wrong Krieg?" He asked, only slightly concerned for the psycho.

Krieg began panicking, he hits his head harder, trying to make the voice tell him what was wrong. "Little man!? Talk! Why won't you talk little man!?" He pulls back his fist for a stronger punch, but Zero holds his hand still.

"Krieg, what is wrong?" He calmly asked him, not letting go of the fist.

"The little man, he's screaming!" That wasn't the only problem that was happening, Zero's cloak had just suddenly activated on it's own, Zero tried to fix it, but the cloaking device just kept turning on and off.

"This is very strange/ My gear is malfunctioning/ What is happening?" Before they could think up an answer or a theory, they heard a loud clang from right above them, the noises they have made had attracted the attention of a Hyperion Loader, a whole bunch of them.

Zero rolls back as a badass loader crashes on the spot he was on, though the ninja was still flickering with his invisibility, he took out his sword to prepare for battle.

"Greetings, badass." He said as he activate his sword, but nothing happened, he rolls away from the machine's attack. He tried again to digistuct his blade, but it had stayed the same, he looks over to Krieg to find him running around with his hands on his head, he screams bloody murder as he did so, which leaves Zero to fight them alone.

More loaders joins the badass on the ground to face the assassin, seeing that both his Decepti0n and sword was out of order, Zero equips his Vladof sniper rifle, one with a long blade. He made a quick work with a charging EXP loader by slashing it in half before leaving it to explode, he dodges the attacks from the badass as he took a few shots at the other loaders, he landed every hit, but the number of enemies barely decreased as more robots came from above. He ducks in time as a loader tried hitting him with it's mechanical fist, Zero spun on his heel and fired a bullet point blank at the loader's face, he grabs the edge of the loader and flung himself in the air as he leaves an active grenade behind.

Zero used his left hand to hold his Tediore submachine gun and sprayed a number of bullets at the metal horde as he landed, the badass still kept trying to bring Zero down, but he had proven to be a challenge for the machine. Having enough of the bigger machine, Zero took a few shots with his rifle to take down the badass, it died after, sadly he was being pushed back by the rest and he was running out of ammo. Good thing the dices were in his favor, he stops flickering as his Decepti0n fixed itself, though no one could see, the ninja was smirking under his helmet. Or he doesn't have lips at all, I don't know.

The loaders fired all of their weapons at him, but he was unaffected by it. "Your eyes deceive you/ An illusion fools you all/ I move for the kill."

The first loader that fell was the one at the far back, split right at the middle, the next one to be destroyed were three bots who were too close to each other. Having the element of surprise back, he threw his Tediore at the enemy before bringing out another one and fired dozens of bullets. The gun he had thrown explodes and the machines staggers, this became their worst day ever as Zero took the chance to cut them apart with his blade.

"Leaves falling from trees/ Snow drifting onto the ground/ Life leaving your corpse." He said as he puts away his katana, the last loader he defeated fell apart into three pieces, after he was done with the battle, he looks around for the psycho.

But the only thing he found was the remains of the loaders, and the fact that the pond no longer was glowing.

"Krieg?"


*Krieg!*

Krieg's eyes snaps open, what greeted him was a cloudy sky and the stench of ash, he looks around to find that the surrounding buildings were currently burning. He looks at himself to find out he had completely change, he still had his other accessories, but he did not have any pants. He grabs the fountain right next to him and pulled himself on to his feet, Krieg then lightly taps his head.

"Little man?"

*D-n't w--- Krieg, I'm h-here.*

The beast let out a joyful laugh, he was too far attached to the voice, and if something were to happen, he had no idea what he would do. Before he could dance around, a shadow was casted over Krieg, he looks up to see four large dragons hovering right above him. The nameless leader lands on the ground next to him, they were bigger when closer to Krieg.

*You seeing what I'm seeing buddy?*

"Who the heck are you, runt?" He asked, but Krieg was still confused to answer since he was stranded on an uncharted area.

"What's wrong runt, too much of a wimp to talk?" One of the grunts spoke from behind the leader.

"Look at this guy, he doesn't even have wings!"

"Wow, this guy must really make his parents proud!"

"And what's up with the mask, too ugly for the world!?"

The rest laughed and mocks him, but their insults barely had any affect since Krieg was busy trying to think, which started to hurt his head. The leader smacks the top of Krieg's head when he noticed that he was being ignored by the 'runt'.

"Hey, are you even listening!?"

Krieg still ignored him, the human or monster was only thinking one thing over and over. "What would ninja man do? WHAT WOULD PRETTY LADY DO!? What would little red do?" His train of thought was broken when he heard the cries of a child, he looked over to his right to find another dragon holding a small horse by it's hind leg, the crying was coming from the horse.

"Are you ignoring me? Maybe I should teach you some manners!" The leader threatens Krieg, but he is still not listening to him, too focus on the horse.

The dragon slowly lift the pony closer to him. "Yeah boss, teach him!"

A red mist started to cloud Krieg's eyes. "Show this runt who's the alpha!"

Krieg's fists tightens, an urge to kill was rising. "Hear that? Everyone thinks your a weak runt, gonna do something about it?"

Then it happened, the leader was now staring at the sky with a sharp pain on his face, he looks towards the psycho as he marches towards one of his friends, the other dragons moved over to help but he rudely decline it as he stood up. When he turned to glare at Krieg, he found the dragon that was going to eat a pony being repeatedly smashed against the wall until they were a bloody pulp, the dragons froze right on their spot.

Krieg threw away the corpse and looked at the pony, she cowered away with tears running down her face, Krieg motions her to be quiet before pointing her at the direction opposite of the dragons, the filly gave a little nod before scurrying away from the scene. Krieg turns around to face the rest, both him and the voice were in deep rage for the dragons action, and both were thinking the same thing.

"*WHO WANTS THE FIRST SLICE!?*" With his axe in hand, he charges forward, blinded by rage.

"He killed Sparks, get him!"

The leader sent his grunts at the psycho, they snarled and bared their teeth as they flew towards Krieg, the first one to get close was a scrawny one, Scrawny aims headbutts the psycho at full speed, but Krieg sidestepped and left him to crash into the bloody wall. The other two were quickly on him, Krieg ducked under one of them as he punched the other dragon right at his throat, while they were choking from the pain, Krieg turned around in time to block the punch from the dragon he had ducked under, he threw another punch only to collide with Krieg's, it seems that in terms of strength, the psycho was superior as the dragon recoiled away with a sharp pain in his fist.

Krieg was about to bury his axe into his abdomen, but the psycho was tripped by the leader, Krieg rolled away as the leader attempted to stomp on him while he was still on the ground, the psycho pounced on him and brought him down to the ground. Before Krieg could pound his fist on the leader's ugly face, the two had recovered from his attack and pulled him away, this made Krieg change his target, he punched one of them back to the ground before lifting the other one and slamming them back down.

Leader then made the biggest mistake he had ever committed, he uselessly breaths fire at the psycho, Krieg backhands the leader before throwing a haymaker, the dragon stumbles back but Krieg quickly pulls his wing and brought him closer, the leader attempted to bite down on Krieg's shoulder but that just activated Raving Retribution, he was thrown away from the point blank blast of the fireball.

Seeing that the leader was too injured to fight, Krieg went on to the next, the dragon who crashed into the wall had came back, Scrawny flew straight towards him with his claws ready. When the dragon got close enough, Krieg swings his axe, the top of Scrawny's head seperates from the rest as the beast took his life. The other dragon roars in rage after witnessing his friend's death, he charges towards the burning Krieg, the psycho throws his axe right in his chest, he falls to the ground where the psycho then stomps his face in with a loud crunch.

Now there was only one left to kill, when Krieg's head snaps towards the remaining dragon, the dragon opens his wings and tried to fly away from the beast. But Krieg didn't let him leave, he took off the shotgun from his back and fired the pellets directly at the dragon, the scales were tough but the wings were shredded like paper, the dragon falls back down on the cobblestone road. Krieg slowly walked over to the flightless drake, playfully swinging his shotgun around, the dragon tried to crawl away, but it was too late as the psycho was already next to him.

"W-wait! Don't k-kill me dude, I promise I won't do anything to you!" The dragon pleaded, but Krieg did not listen, he raised his shotgun over his head before bringing the blade down and hacked away on the dragon's skull.

After he was done mutilating the dragon, Krieg had just remembered that the leader was still breathing, so he decided to wrap things up since he needed to find out where in Pandora he is. The leader groaned loudly, a burning pain right on his chest as he tried to sit up, he heard the sound of footstet next to him, his head turned to find the psycho looming over him. Before he could say anything, Krieg flipped him over on his front, the psycho grabbed one of his wings and twisted it causing him to let out an agonize scream. Krieg laughed much louder than the injured dragon, the screams of pain was just music to his ears, he decided to just finish this by grabbing the dragon's horns.

"What are you doing!? Please, just let me go!"

"I want the blood melon!" Krieg said as he pressed his foot on the dragon's back and pulled roughly, the leader couldn't even scream as his head was pulled out of his body, the bloody spine dangles over Krieg's head as he held it like a trophy, the blood drips on his mask before he discarded it.

Before Krieg could talk to himself about their predicament, the sound of stomping hooves alerts him of the arrival of some pony army, led by a very tall one.

*Oh no, alright Krieg, play it cool. We don't want to cause trouble, so be less intimidating.*

"NIPPLE SALADS!!!"

*Smooth.*

The soldiers held their weapons tightly, aim right towards the beast, fearful of what he was capable.

"Princess Celestia, wait!" All attention focuses on a filly running towards them, she almost slipped a few times before she stood right next to the alicorn. "Please don't hurt him, he saved my life!"

"Is this true?" Celestia spoke to the gathering townsfolk, few vouches for the beast, though they were hesitant, she looks back to the dragon who was watching them with interest. Celestia motions for the soldiers to stand down, they followed the order. "Though your methods are inpony, I must commend your action of saving my subjects. Pray tell hero, what is your name?"


Krieg's eyes snaps open, it was still dark in the night, he could faintly see the roof of the barn. He unconsciously placed his claws on his face, feeling the rough surface of his mask, this causes the voice to speak with concern.

*Hey big guy, what's up?*

The psycho was quiet for a second before answering. "Little man, what do you remember?"

*Well, I remember being with Zero in front of a glowing pond, and maybe a tall white pony, but that's pretty much it. I think I remember a smiling pony with a starry mane. You know who that is?*

"No I don't little man... Little man, could you promise not to leave me?"

*How can I bud, I'm stuck in your head.*

The voice laughs a little, Krieg joins in with a quiet chuckle as he sat up, he began moving towards the doors to get ready for today. He ignores the recurring memories in his head, the ones that fuels his hatred for the deities of the moon and sun, Krieg does not want to see their faces after what they did and he hopes that they both rot for their betrayal.


Flash Magnus was not having a great night, after their encounter with the psychos they were suddenly jumped by yellow golems, both enemies soon pushed them back deeper into the cave. Even with three alicorns and the best the guards could offer, they were easily overwhelmed by the superior weapons the enemy had, so Flash Magnus decided to swipe a gun named Plump KerBlaster, the others followed his example making the tides turn.

As for Twilight, after being pushed through an underground city, she felt terrible, the sound of gunfire with screams was already haunting her, she was still trying to understand Celestia's choice to execute people of the underground, but it was hard when a psycho jumps from the shadows all the time. Cave Dweller soon found a large lift that seemed to go back to the surface, but sadly that was the last thing the guard had done before a griffon psycho with explosives attached to his chest pounced on the pony, Twilight froze on her spot as she silently stared at the spot the pony was on before, the ringing in her ears muffled the sound around her. Flash Magnus quickly grabs the alicorn and led her to the lift where the rest were.

During the ride up, the rest of the party were dead silent, Celestia held a stoic face as she and her sister were arguing, the guards just stood armed and ready with morale slowly slipping away so easily, Twilight looked up to see they were nearing the surface, the guards brighten up a bit at the sign of the night sky.

Luna let out a thankful sigh for escaping the altered prison in the underground, before they could step off, Flash Magnus quickly pulled back a very eager guard away from a wood cutting axe that embedded into the ground.

"Strip the flesh!" An orange psycho mare shouted as she came out of the bushes with another wood cutting axe in her hooves, but she skids to a halt when her eyes discovers who used the elevator. "P-princess Celestia!?"

"Carrot Top!?" Said the princess of friendship.

"Princess Twilight!?" Carrot Top quickly hid the axe behind her. "W-what are you doing here, I thought you were bandits!"

Celestia looks around them to find that they were surrounded by blood stains showing evidence of death. "What's the meaning of this, Carrot Top?"

The mare's forelegs fell to her side limply, her head faced towards the ground. "Revenge... I have been trapped down there for three f*cking months!" She digs her free hoof into the bushes behind her and pulls out a severed head of an unicorn. "The things I did down there, I can't even relax just for a second! But when I almost just gave up, there he was, lord Krieg!"

"You were part of and hated this cult?" The guards around her lift aimed their weapons towards the earth pony, slightly paranoid of the mare. "Yet you still address the beast the same?"

"Yes, on the day I have lost my will to live, he came to us and gave me a second chance! He brought down the cult leader and brought me back into the light, but he did not finish the rest of them, so I decided to take it up on my own two hooves to eradicate these monsters!"

"I see, but where did he go?"

"North." Was all she said before picking up her thrown axe and head off home.

When Flash was about to demand her to stop Celestia held a hoof up to silence the pegasus, instead she orders him to watch the elevator for anymore psychos, as for the rest of them, they were told prepare to move north as soon as possible. Though they have just faced off a new type of enemy and having only a single casualty, the guards followed her orders with great loyalty for their princess.


Author's Note

Fudge, when I said this was going to update slower than the first story I have, I became much more motivated to work on this. Guess my love for Krieg is stronger.

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