Hot chocolate and marshmallows
The counsellor’s room wasn’t especially large, but it certainly felt cosy. Colourful décor and sticky labels enhanced the appearance of the otherwise bland and forgettable walls, while many objects enriched the otherwise empty space. A globe was sitting near the door, two large bookshelves were filled with tomes related to counselling and guidance, and on a small table on the side, there were some nice ornaments coming from all around Equestria. Although they didn’t match very well, they were all gifts from dear friends of her. One was a crystal lamp from the crystal empire, one was the small model of a fairly boring house with ‘Our town’ written on it, and finally many knickknacks coming from wildly different places sharing only their kitsch taste.
“You can come in, don’t worry!”
Welcomed by the soothing voice, the little filly moved a few tentative steps in the room, closing the door behind her with her magic. “H-hi…”. With her head lowered she couldn’t appreciate any of furniture or the details, and she didn’t have the courage to look at the Starlight glimmer herself. That is, until an inviting cup of hot chocolate appeared in front of her, levitated by the older mare’s magic. “T-thank you…” And now it had to look at her, and so she could see both the messy table with documents all over it which she was now quickly clearing out and at the large cabinet behind her in which she put the documents and from which she levitated out a cushion and a blanket.
“Do you need a comfort blanket? Oh, why’ I’m even asking, you clearly need it!”
The little filly quickly found a cushion on the stool in front of her and a blanket over her shoulders and head. A bit overwhelmed, the filly managed to get seated in front of the Counsellor, and then moved the blanket in a slightly more comfortable way. Finally, she took a sip of the hot chocolate, which was delicious, and briefly appreciated the tiny marshmallow in it. For a moment, she almost managed to forget why she was there, but it didn’t last long. Soon, her eyes were again pointed straight at the floor, her voice shaking “I-I’m…”
“Ruby Pinch, right? I remember our talk from last time. Just relax and tell me what happened!”
The filly took another sip, comforted by the kindness the mare was showing and by her gentle smile. She took a deep breath and then started “We were having a class with professor Fluttershy, and she was explaining to us how to care for small animals. And there were these squirrels, and they were very cute, and we had to take turns holding and cuddling them, and it was very nice…” Ruby was shaking a bit, and despite all of Starlight’s effort, she was on the verge of crying. The guilt in her words was palpable “And Chip Mint said I had cuddled the squirrel long enough, and I said that I didn’t, And he said I did, and I didn’t want to give him the squirrel yet, and he tried to take him, and I got angry… And… And…”
“You should breathe. Then tell me what you did… And remember that I am not going to judge you or punish you: I only want to understand.”
”O-ok” The filly took a few moments to get her composure back, and after drinking some more chocolate she went on “I said… Uhm… Bad words to him, and he started crying.” Some tears started to form in the filly eyes “Then professor Fluttershy told me I shouldn’t have done that and sent me to talk to you!” She stopped talking, and simply looked at the mare as if in fear.
“I see. How do you feel about what happened? Are you still angry?”
Ruby thought a bit about the question “I-I am not… I am only very sad.” She looked down to the floor one again “…” The colour on her already reddish cheeks was slowly becoming more intense.
“Don’t be afraid, just look at me, please. Tell me, why are you sad?”
Raising her head just a bit, the filly could see a warm welcoming smile and a reassuring gaze. An almost motherly aura surrounded the mare, which made it easier to open to her “Because I have hurt my friend. I didn’t want to make him cry, I just wanted to hold the squirrel a little bit more. I know I should have given it to him earlier, but it was just so soft and cute… I don’t know why I said those words… I’m sorry.”
“You are a good filly, Ruby Pinch, and I know good fillies like you doesn’t want to hurt her friends. But… You did. And what happened today is very similar to what happened last time. What if it happens again?”
The counsellor didn’t show any anger, her expression stayed very calm. But what crushed the filly’s heart was a veil of sadness and disappointment over Starlight’s expression. “No! I don’t want it to happen again!” Big tears were now streaming on her little red cheeks, and her voice was now cracking. “I want to be a good filly!” Now her head was in her hooves, her sobs muffled, and for a few seconds, there was no answer. The idea even the counsellor could have given up on her was devastating and brought her at her most vulnerable. Then she heard the chair moving, and a few moments later she felt a pair of forelegs wrapping her in a warm hug.
“Don’t cry, Ruby. I can help you. If you trust me, we can make sure it never happens again. Will you trust me?”
The hug loosened just enough for a handkerchief to levitate between the two, delicately trying to wipe out her tears, and the filly could get a glimpse of Starlight Glimmer. Her mind was racing, filled with guilt and hope in equal parts. She returned the hug vigorously, “Yes, I-I trust you! I don’t it to happen ever again!” The counsellor was stroking her mane delicately, to give her comfort, and brought her mouth very close to her left ear. Her voice was as soothing as ever
“Repeat after me. I don’t want to harm my friends”
“I… I don’t want to harm my friends” She didn’t even think; she just followed the order. Then Starlight’s hoof became even tender, her voice even gentler.
“Good. I will not harm my friends. I will not say bad words to my friends. I am a good filly.”
Every word was repeated precisely by the little filly, down to the very intonation. And slowly the hug became looser until it completely ended. Jut for a moment the filly had a passing thought. The eyes of the mare in front of her looked much colder, much more distant, and a bluish aura was enveloping her horn. But then the thought went away, as she couldn’t really think about anything anymore.
“I will be kind to my friends. I will be loyal to my friends. I will be honest with my friends. I will be generous with my friends. I will always try to make my friends smile. I am a good filly”
Maybe Ruby did see the devious smile on Starlight face, maybe she didn’t. Maybe she managed for a moment to think something was strange, or wrong. That the magic aura enveloping her head was doing something to her. But even if she did, afterwards she wouldn’t have remembered anything. She was too focused on repeating the mare’s words, making them part of her very being.
The day could not get any worse, and it wasn’t even ten in the morning. Rarity was running in the corridor, something that many times she had told students not to do. She would have appreciated the irony, if only she hadn’t been in such a rush. Her usually perfect purple mane was surprisingly messy, barely under control, and black circles were visible under her eyes. She was the living image of stress and sleep deprivation, as sometimes happened while her designer workload was especially heavy, and was quite glad all students were in the class, as she really wouldn’t have wanted any of them to see her at the moment. There was only one mare she wanted to see, only one mare towards whose office she was headed.
“Starlight, Darling!” Slamming a door open wasn’t appropriate for a lady like her, but as Rarity rushed in the room she was certain her friend would have understood. “I thought I would be able to finish my work in time to get my beauty sleep, but I simply had too many orders to deal with!” It was simply tragic. “I am in no condition to teach, I really need you to fill for-” She stopped, suddenly, only now capable of realizing what was happening in the room.
“I will always try to be a good friend. I will never-”
The first thing rarity found out of place were Starlight’s eyes. She could hardly describe them, she could hardly explain why they made her shiver. They were cold, but not unfeeling. Sharp, but not austere. And slowly they moved from the filly to her. And a moment later, the filly’s head turned towards her too. Her mouth was still moving, robotically repeating the Counsellor’s words and
“Oh buck!”
Everything happened in a single instant, even before the filly could repeat the two words. Rarity eyes filled with horror at the realization, and she wanted to scream. She couldn’t, though, as a muzzle of bluish magic enveloped her, not letting a single sound out of her mouth. Then she tried to turn towards the door and run away but was soon lifted off the ground as the door closed in front of her.
“Oh buck!”
“You didn’t have to say that, Ruby. Oh well, the adults have to talk… be a good filly and go to sleep!”
The bluish magic flashed for a moment in Ruby’s eyes, and her eyelids closed right afterwards. Her head, too heavy for her now limp body to sustain, started to fall towards the desk in front of her. Luckily, Starlight quickly teleported a cushion to prevent the impact, leaving the filly asleep and unharmed.
“Rarity, you weren’t supposed to see that. Oopsie?”
The small, embarrassed smile on her face did not at all reassure Rarity, whose face was filled with terror. The fact that the aura around starlight’s horn intensified for a moment, briefly enveloping the walls of the room, terrorized her further. “Mmmff!” The mare’s body was delicately laid on another stool, in a more comfortable position, although the magic was still enveloping her body preventing any movement. Only her mouth was released. “Y-YOU MONSTER! WHAT WERE YOU DOING TO RUBY?! HELP! HELP!” But the mare was unfazed even in front of the screams and looked at her disconcertingly calm.
“Shh. She is okay. Also, nopony can hear you. I just soundproofed the room.”
Powerless. Rarity felt just powerless. She was trapped in one of the places she deemed safest, captured by somepony she considered a friend. And she was alone. There was no calling for help, no running away. She couldn’t outsmart her as she did with the diamond dogs, while trying to use magic would’ve been nothing but a useless endeavour. For a moment she was paralyzed, her mouth agape, incapable of producing coherent speech. But that was her only way out: talking with her, showing her how her ways were wrong. Wasn’t that how twilight herself had once dealt with her? Hoping for the best, she whispered a single word: “Why?”
“Ruby Pinch here got angry at one of her friends and said hurtful things to him, so Fluttershy sent her to me. It was the second time something similar happened, so I was just making sure it wouldn’t happen again.”
The white mare needed a few moments to collect her thoughts. Her friend was using her magic on a filly to force her to behave. That was something Chrysalis or Sombra would have done, certainly not the deed of a good pony. “That’s… that’s just wrong”, Rarity protested, looking straight at the mare in front of her. She was terrified, but that was not anymore enough to prevent her to voice her opinion “You know it’s wrong...” She was almost pleading. If she was wrong, if their morals really were that mismatched, even talking would have become a useless endeavour.
“Is it really? Have you ever noticed how basically all students are well behaved, and incidents like almost never happen? And that while for most misdemeanours serious punishment only starts at the third infraction, not a single pony has ever been sent to me more than twice?”
Rarity was shocked. She wasn’t even trying to resist the magic holding her still anymore. A sense of defeat surrounded her “You can’t possibly mean…” She thought about it. The beautiful atmosphere of peace, love and acceptance that surrounded the whole institution. How harmony regulated all the students’ interactions, how much fun everycreature was having, and how little conflict was there. Rarity thought it was thanks to their teachings, maybe thanks to their example. But what starlight was implying was very different “This whole school… Is based on a lie?” Two small tears rolled on her cheeks; she couldn’t believe it: “how many ponies have you been manipulating? And what do you want to accomplish?”
“Oh, no no… It’s not based on a lie. It is based on Twilight’s vision. I am just trying to smooth things out, really. And technically, I manipulated no one. I have just imprinted in them some norms of good behaviour. Isn’t it the same you do with your classes, just a bit…? More efficient?”
“NO!” Starlight’s voice was soothing and calm, much more than hers. But not for a single moment Rarity wanted to believe she could be right. There was no way that equivalency could bear any resemblance to reality “We try to teach them how to be good friends. You are forcing them to be!” She wasn’t Twilight, philosophy was in no way one of her fields of expertise, but she was able to think for herself, and that was something that not only helped her craft an argument… But allowed her to be herself. And that was something she would never renounce. “We want our students to be able to consider all the options and make their decision because we think they will make the right one. And if for once they make a mistake, they are going to learn from it!” She stopped for a few moments “Isn’t that what our friendship lessons are all about?”
“I see your point, but that way things are prone to go very wrong. I know very well how a minor conflict can blow up out of proportion and have catastrophic consequences. With just a little magic I can prevent any of that from happening. If they learn all the same, there is no reason I should let them make mistakes, right?”
“It… it isn’t right.” Her words were now getting weaker, she felt she couldn’t match Starlight’s resolution. But she couldn’t just let her have her way without trying with all her strength to change her mind. To show her the way. “What value is there in doing the right thing if it is the only thing you can do?” She lowered her gaze a bit “What value is there in doing the right thing if you aren’t yourself anymore?” Suddenly she found her right foreleg freed, but she didn’t immediately use it for anything. At least, not until a machine on the desk hadn’t finished preparing a cup of hot chocolate, and a small marshmallow was put in it by starlight herself. Then it was levitated to her, and she grabbed it. A nice gesture accompanied by a gentle smile.
“There is no need to be so dramatic, Rarity. They are still themselves. What they like, what they dislike, what they know… I just help them make the right choices. And I’m not the one saying they are the right choices; I have studied all the school’s textbooks very carefully. If you assume your students want to make the right choice, I am simply helping them. Thanks to me, they are better friends and face no conflict. I’m making them happier. Bonus point, it works one hundred per cent of the times. Can you say the same of your methods?”
That all sounded so rational, that all sounded so good. For a small moment, Rarity was almost taken in by her words. But then she just shook her head “So you think anything you do is fine, as long as the results are good?” She remembered very well the same mentality. Stolen cutie marks, an enslaved village and many unhappy ponies blossomed from it. “Haven’t you changed? Are you still the same as you were then?”
“I have changed, I have changed a lot. I was a wreck, still traumatized by some petty things that happened when I was a filly, and I cared only about myself. Twilight helped me get over it and showed me how my ideology was wrong. She helped me reconnect with Sunburst, she helped me make friends, and she gave me a chance when I didn’t deserve it. Now everything I do is for her, to further her ideals. But besides that, I am the same mare I was. I am Starlight Glimmer.”
“For Twilight…” She whispered, ruminating on the concept “How can you say you are doing this for her? What would Twilight say if she knew what you are doing? This is against everything she stands for!” And yet starlight was still unfazed, and even smirked at this comment.
“She doesn’t have to know. In time, I’m willing to face any punishment I’ll have to face. It will be fine, as long as her school succeeds. But you know… I am not sure she doesn’t know, either. Why appointing a mare who enslaved a village in the past as school counsellor, if not to ‘get the job done’, so to speak?”
the expression on rarity face changed abruptly. It went from one of fear and defeat to one of disbelief, just to slowly shift into one of rage: "H-how dare you!" Those assertions were simply scandalous "Talking like this of the mare who saved you, who took you as a student and as a friend!" Under the accusations starlight, for a moment, seemed to be relenting "Isn't the fact she helped you instead of arresting or exiling you proof enough?" This time there was no answer for a good five seconds. But then it came.
“Twilight…She might be a bit naïve, sometimes, but she isn’t dumb. Everycreature playing nice, barely quarrelling with each other, and absolutely no bullying. Have you ever seen a school like that?”
Rarity was speechless, the implications of what she was saying were clear.
“If someone could have noticed something is strange in this school, it is her. And while she is a mare of rules, when she really cares about something she is willing to cut some corners. She gave me an amnesty way too easily. And isn’t that what she did with the whole EEA affair? Do you blame her for that?”
“I… I guess I don’t?” it wasn’t the conventional way to do things, sure, but it worked. The school itself was excellent, and it was getting great results. Was that really all that mattered? Rarity could almost see the other mare’s point and felt a deep sense of defeat. “But… But…” She couldn’t think of any argument which had a chance of working with the mare in front of her. And maybe not even with herself “It still isn’t right” Now it was Starlight’s turn to sigh.
“I’m not saying my methods are perfect, or that I feel good doing what I do. But not everything can be… Uhm… Chocolate and marshmallows, you know?”
And so Rarity meditated a moment on the metaphor, before looking back at Starlight. Her expression was serious and somehow tender. She looked as empathic and understanding as a counsellor ought to be. “What do you mean?”
“Let’s say something bad happens at the school. Let’s say somecreature ends up being bullied or getting hurt. Or let’s say people discover I have been using my magic on the students to have them behave. What do you think would happen?”
She didn’t have to guess. She remembered very well how the young six just vanishing for a few hours almost caused a diplomatic incident. This would have been magnitudes worse.
“War. Or at the very least the end of the school and the failure of Twilight project. Nopony had ever managed to bring all the creatures neighbouring Equestria this close. And just a slip would be enough to make this all crumble, and possibly to mark Twilight’s name in infamy. Do you really want that to happen?”
At once, Starlight’s magic let her go completely. She could now move again, but the instinct of running away wasn’t there anymore. “I… I don’t.” She was devastated. Would she just have to give up? To let Starlight have her way?
“I thought so.”
“Earlier you didn’t answer” rarity was looking at the floor, all her certainties had more or less crumbled, and she now had to rebuild at least some. Maybe try to make the whole thing seem less horrible? ”How many people did you manipulate like this? I want a number.” To Rarity, it seemed Starlight had let out a small sigh. And did her eyes now betray just a little bit of guilt?
“About twenty. For most of them, it was just small things. You all did a good job, as teachers, and the students were selected well. I didn’t have to do much.”
Did that help? She didn’t know. A part of her was suggesting that if she tried to do an even better job she might have made that unnecessary, but it was a bad line of thought to follow “And do you really think twilight would approve?”
"I don't know. Maybe she doesn't, maybe she suspects something, maybe she knows. in any case I can't let you talk about this with her. I don't her to shoulder this, It is my burden to bear."
Rarity simply nodded.
"...So we have two choices. We can just pretend this never happened, or I can make you forget this. Just a bit of magic, and this bad memory will go away.”
Starlight was smiling. a warm, pleasant, calculated smile. Behind her eyes something cold, even though rarity was sure there was also guilt in there, together with many other contrasting emotions. Among those, there was certainly the reason why she hadn't just manipulated her memory already, which would have been quite easy for her and also much safer. Was it their friendship? Self-reproach? maybe just trust?
“So, what is your choice?”
In the short pause between the first and the second class in the morning, Ruby Pinch timidly approached Chip Mint. It was heart-warming, really. Starlight could only look from afar, walking side by side with rarity along the large hall, and couldn’t hear a single word. Yet, the expressions in their faces told her everything she needed to know.
“Thank you so much for covering for me! And for this…”
With her hoof rarity was pointing in the general direction of her mane and face. The former was now in order. Not perfect, not as it would be after the lengthy process to which the mare subjected herself daily, but more than acceptable anyways. From the latter, the bags under her eyes had apparently vanished. “Don’t mention it!” A small smile was now on Starlight’s face. They were simple spells, sure, but she was quite proud of them. Aesthetic spells were one of the few fields in which she was much more proficient than twilight herself – albeit for the complete lack of interest in them on the part of her teacher. “The one for the eyes will hold a few hours, but it’s ultimately an illusion. You still need to sleep!”
“You think I’ll be able to do anything else, as soon as I get home?”
Starlight giggled at rarity’s almost pouty expression “Sorry, sorry” A teasing smile on her face, well matched by her words “But after how you arrived in my office earlier, I have legitimate doubts about your sleeping schedule” She half expected some teasing answer, but the mare’s expression revealed nothing but uneasiness. Starlight sighed, uncertain on what to say. “I-” But she stopped. Walking to the hall, they were now passing close to Ruby and Chip, which were now exchanging a warm hug. A moment before letting go, Ruby opened her eyes, her eyes moved towards the two mares. An earnest smile, full of gratitude, reached the two mares. It was the smile Starlight needed: “Isn’t our school great, after all?”
“Lovely, darling. Simply lovely.”
Author's Note
What if Starlight's reformation is not as complete as we think? There are a few details in the show that would seem to suggest this. The way she sold Trixie wagon shows how self-absorbed she can still be, and the episode in which she basically hypnotizes the mane 6 minus twilight is self-explanatory.
This was more or less the line of thought that made me write this story, but I didn't want to portray her as evil, or even as egotistical or uncaring... She just really believes in Twilight, she really believes in what she is doing and she is ready to go to any length to have her project succeed.
Also, I've experimented a bit with the stile. I tried to have a very strong point of view, to make the actual feelings of Starlight harder to pinpoint for most of the story, and then leaving Rarity's ambiguous at the end. I hope it works?
With love,
The marshmallow
P.S. I've already reread this twice, and It's 1 am here. I hope I didn't leave any significant typo... But I don't have the strength to go through this once more tonight.
