Cozy Glow, Daughter Extraordinaire

by FunnyFany

Rating: teen
Tags: Tirek, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Grogar, Queen Chrysalis, Cozy Glow, Adventure
Length: 5980

Little Cozy Glow deals with the grownups at Grogar's Round Table the only way she knows how: by by sweet-talking them into loving her. It works most of the time.

Being the smart one in a group of pony-hating creatures was a tough task for a little filly such as herself, but Cozy Glow was certain she had it handled. She just needed to sweet-talk them into seeing how much they needed her wits, and then make them like her enough to want to protect her from harm. That would be super easy.

The hard part was doing that while avoiding being singled out as a potential threat by Grogar, their clearly unhinged leader.

Published 2019-04-29 13:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2019-11-21 01:00:21 UTC

Cozy Glow, Evil Scheme Consultant

Author's Note

Hello! This is my first attempt at a multi-chapter fic, and I am Not Great at being consistent with posting stuff. I'll try to upload more than one chapter a month, but even that is a generous estimate. Apologies in advance.

Oh! Also, content warnings for later chapters (if needed, which, knowing myself, they most likely will be) will be written in the Author's Notes box, so be sure to read them if you're sensitive.

Cozy Glow, Evil Scheme Consultant

It was early Fall in Ponyville, and in the halls of a school run by the Princess of Friendship, creatures of every kind moved through the halls, getting ready for their respective classes; the Running of the Leaves wasn’t for another two months, but already some of the young ones felt the excitement radiating through their skin against the cool breeze nipping their skin. More specifically, one certain pink hippogriff.

“Oh boy, I’m so excited! Living underwater and then on Mount Aris which is, you know, waaaay south in the tropics, trees there don’t do the colorful leaf-shedding thing. Which, I think, good for them?” She shrugs. “If the perennial lifestyle works for you, go for it, I just think a little change is nice sometimes.”

Smolder snorted. “As expected of a form-swapping hippogriff.” She frowned and tugged on her plain turquoise sweater, pulling a sleeve further down her arm. “Wait, was that insensitive? I think professor Pinkie Pie said something about stereotyping once.”

“You’re learning,” Sandbar said, elbowing her gently.

“Yona don’t think it hippogriff thing. Yona also excited for big stomping race! Make ground shake so hard, leaves fall all at once!” The yak slammed her front hooves on the ground, as to emphasise. It startles a few passerbys.

“Easy there, Yona,” Ocellus began, lecture voice on. “The Running of the Leaves isn’t just a way to keep the seasonal cycle running, it’s an event of great cultural relevance for Ponyville. You see, when the town was founded by a family of earth ponies--”

“Booooriiing.” Gallus interrupted, finally closing his locker door after getting his notebook. “If I wanted to learn about History, I’d be frequenting a normal school, not a cool friendship one.” He felt everyone’s glares on him and cringed. “I mean, I’m sorry about my tone, Ocellus.”

Ocellus smiled. “I’ve just been reading ahead a little. We are going to be learning about this stuff next on… wait, where is everyone?” She looked around the now empty hall. Sandbar’s eyes widened.

“Oh no, we’re late for class!”

“Oh darn, Professor Dash is gonna kill me!” Gallus takes off with the semblance of someone who was threatened with bloodshed if they were late for class one more time. “See you guys during lunch break!” And off the rest of them went, all in equal hurry to get to their respective classrooms.

It was early Fall in Ponyville, and all seemed well.

Somewhere else, four beings watched the calm as they planned to bring the storm.

“Why are we watching these twerps babble about seasonal events?” Tirek complained. “I thought we should be looking for places where they might keep Grogar's bell!”

It was an odd scene: the four members of the League of Evil surrounded the flattened rock at the center of the main room, showing varying levels of interest in the image of School of Friendship glowing inside Grogar’s Beholding Eye. Little Cozy Glow had taken a spot on the table between the obviously bored centaur and former changeling queen Chrysalis, which placed her on the opposite side to Grogar’s usual place at his dais - and that would be the optimal place for her to keep an adequate distance from the Father of Monsters, but it also put her directly under his menacing gaze; hence, the filly had decided perching awkwardly on the side of the makeshift table (shielding herself from any potential danger Grogar might pose to her) was more comfortable than just sitting on top of it.

She wasn’t scared of him. She was just playing it safe.

“Locating my bell is certain to require in loco investigation.” Grogar dispelled the vision in the crystal ball. “Seeing that such ancient knowledge is lost to all but a few living Equestrians, including the princesses, and waiting for them to casually bring up the subject is not a viable option, approaching them might be necessary.”

“Understood, but I still don't see the connection between that and spying on… an assorted group of children.” Cozy rolled her eyes. She supposed it made sense an old guy like Tirek would have trouble following the thought process (observe, assimilate, replace), though even she thought the student six weren’t the most ideal targets for Chrysalis to swap places with.

Before she could say anything, Chrysalis raised her hoof theatrically. “Obviously, my shape-shifting ability means I can disguise myself as someone close to Twilight Sparkle and squeeze the truth right out of her.” The child prodigy silently took note of everything wrong with that concept. “And I might even get the chance to pay my dearest Starlight Glimmer a little visit…”

“No.” Grogar asserted, and good, someone else noticed how bad a plan that was. “All our energy must be focused on the task at hand. You will have your petty revenge once we've successfully retrieved my bell.” Oh.

It was at that moment that Cozy Glow realised why she was there: everyone else was incredibly stupid. She was going to have to step in.

“Hold the thought, Mr. Grogar,” she finally said, fluttering to the top of the table. Grogar raised an eyebrow. “The thing is, Chrysalis needs to be extra sneaky once she’s out there.” She turned to the changeling. “You need to be able to talk your way in and out of the places they hold this sort of information in, and do it all without getting caught. Can you do that?”

Chrysalis scoffed. “Are you questioning my stealth skills?!”

“Not at all! We all know you're really good at that.” She gave Chrysalis an apologetic smile. “It's just that… You have somewhat of a short temper, and even though you have all the right to be angry that they were able to defeat you twice--” Chrysalis was glaring at her-- “taking a detour to torture your nemesis will only draw attention to you, tempting as it might be.” Cozy saw her anger turn to realisation at that, and if she’d have to carry the team on her back, she was at least glad they were as easily swayed by her words as ponies used to be. “Can you guarantee you won’t lash out at anypony?”

“I… well, I mean.” Chrysalis shrank in her place, turning to scowl at the ground. “If none of them start provoking me, then maybe--”

Grogar raised himself to an imposing silhouette, startling everyone. “Then find a way to give me a definitive answer.” He stepped down from the dais and walked toward the staircase to the upper level of the lair. “Chrysalis: your task is to infiltrate the princesses’ inner circle, confirm the location of my bell and bring that information to me. Do not distract yourself with your own personal goals. Do not attract unnecessary attention.” He turned to them as he reached the base of the stairs. “You have until tomorrow at sunset to formulate a plan.”

After he disappeared upstairs, Cozy let out a breath she didn’t notice she’d been holding. Tirek, who’d been silent the whole time, stood up, visibly annoyed. “Well, this was a decent waste of my time. I’m clearly not needed here, so I'll be on my way.”

“Wait,” Cozy called out. Despite the whole aloof attitude, Tirek was good to bounce ideas off of; besides, she’d grown to like his company. “Won't you help Chrysalis and I plan this infiltration mission?”

“The two of you can handle this. Don't bother me.” He left through the stone path leading to the underground tunnels that surround the lair, leaving them by themselves. This always left the filly a little on edge, as she wasn’t as close to anyone else in the lair as she was to Tirek.

Whatever, it was just Chrysalis. She could handle Chrysalis.

“So much for teamwork.” Cozy shrugged and turned to the changeling queen, suddenly cheerful as a foal in a candy store. “Seems it's just the two of us then.”

“I don’t want your help!” Chrysalis hissed. “As I’ve established, I already have a plan: the fool Ocellus seems to be especially interested in learning. I'll disguise myself as her, ask ‘headmare Twilight’--” she said with a mocking tone-- “about Grogar's bell, get the information and come back in ten minutes. Quick and effective. No one will even have the time to suspect anything.”

Her wings buzzed triumphantly, as if that wasn’t the single most contrived, circumstance-dependent strategy Cozy had ever heard. Then again, this was the same creature who warned Canterlot of her own attack by sending a written threat to Princess Celestia herself.

Cozy breathed in. “Alright. Um. Let’s take it from the beginning.” She scratched her chin, attempting to look as non-threatening as possible in order to cushion her verbal strike. “Chrysalis, your plan is… how do I put this? Really bad.”

“Excuse me?!”

“I'm not even sure if it counts as a real plan,” she continued, intentionally ignoring her teammate’s outrage. “I mean, you have the right idea, and there’s a semblance of a structure to it, but it's just full of holes. For starters, what will you do with the original Ocellus?”

“I'll encase her in a cocoon, obviously.”

“Mhmm. And then what? You leave her stuck forever, so her friends notice she's gone missing and notify authorities for any clues or suspicious activities?” She starts pacing around the crystal ball. “Or do you release her, so she warns everyone about you, Princess Twilight connects the dots and figures that you were the one asking weird questions about an ancient evil bell?”

“Uh--”

“And that's just one problem.” Cozy cut her off. “Since Grogar has been reduced to an obscure myth only creatures who were alive over a thousand years ago remember, there's a good chance Princess Twilight won't even know what you're talking about; you probably won't be able to get anything from her. Although…” She stopped pacing, now deep in thought. A few gears started turning in her mind. “Hmmm.”

Chrysalis tilted her head, equally invested and confused. “Although?”

“There are very few things Princess Twilight loves more than learning. That, and she’s really close to Princess Celestia herself.” An actual plan started taking form, and Cozy smirked. “I bet with the right motivation, she might eagerly hand you all the information we need, no questions asked!”

Chrysalis blanked. “I don’t follow.”

Cozy spun to look straight at her, eyes shining with inspiration on an otherwise straight face. “Chrysalis, tell me: how did your first attempt at taking over Equestria fail?”

The fallen queen was obviously irritated at the mention of her humiliating defeat in Canterlot. Cozy needed her to follow that train of thought in order to convince her, so she waited patiently until Chrysalis realised she wouldn’t drop the subject and muttered: “Twilight Sparkle blew my cover.”

Cozy nodded. “And why do you think that happened?”

“Because she’s absurdly paranoid about every little thing around her.”

Huh. Correct, but… “Well, I mean, that’s true, but I also know she’s familiar with Princess Cadence, who as far as I know was the pony you chose to replace.”

Chrysalis started rubbing her temples. “May I remind you, my knowledge on that specific group of ponies was very limited. I did the best I could with the little I had, and--”

“And it fell short,” Cozy interrupted, “because you didn’t account for personal bonds your target had - that is, aside from prince Shining Armor’s love for her. If you knew someone would suspect your behavior, you could’ve avoided a lot of problems.”

“Can’t you just get to the point already?” Chrysalis groaned. “Stop talking in circles and say what your stupid idea is, so I can shoot it down and proceed with mine.”

That stung a little, if Cozy was being honest, but she was confident. “What you need is to eliminate the chances of anyone suspecting you for that.” She started pacing around Grogar’s Beholding Eye again. “You need to be someone no one would recognize. Someone with no bonds to maintain or break. Someone who could ask around about ancient pony tales with a believable motive.”

With a smirk, she stopped right in front of the shapeshifter.

“Chrysalis… we’re making you an Original Character.”

Cozy Glow, Control Freak

Author's Note

Oh heck, new chapter! I wrote this instead of sleeping. ~~Now where's the angst tag~~
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A few things: first, the overwhelmingly positive response I got from the first chapter was both incredibly validating and very intimidating. I started writing this for myself and decided to post it because why not? But now I have an audience, and that's awesome and scary! Thank you so much, I hope I can manage to meet your expectations.
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Secondly, as I saw it coming, this chapter is a fair amount darker than the last one. Maybe not enough to warrant a 'dark' tag (yet?), but there's some abusive tactics/stranger danger stuff near the end and I mostly just want readers to be safe. I bumped the rating up to Teen just in case, though it's just the very last scene.
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Lastly, a word from the real world: college sucks. I will try to get another chapter by mid-June, but it's not set in stone.

Cozy Glow, Control Freak

Chrysalis was far too prideful to admit it even to herself, but... she thought Cozy Glow to be a curious little thing.

“Where did you study?”

“Hayfield University, Las Pegasus.”

As in, she was this absurdly ingenious strategist using her intellect and smugness to mask a whirlwind of emotions complex enough to leave a weaker changeling dizzy if they hung around her too long; it was hard to reconcile that aura with the sight of the tiny, feathery form that couldn't be older than 10, who was currently alternating between stifling the occasional yawn and quizzing her in random facts about the persona they’d developed overnight specifically for the research mission.

“Tell me an anecdote about your life there.”

“Ugh, do I have to?”

Another yawn. “Yes.”

But while Chrysalis felt the need to appease her for the sake of getting things done, she couldn’t shake the mix of annoyance and awkwardness eating at her mind as she allowed herself to be tutored by this very smart, sleep-deprived toddler while in the shape of the plainest-looking pegasus she could conceive. Between the humiliation of that and Grogar being generally a creep, she was starting to think a few days away from this mud hole wouldn’t be so bad, even if it meant hanging out with Princess Twilight Sparkle and her Merry Band of Idiots. “Fine. There was this one time where my roommate and I decided to skip class and spend the afternoon cooking meals for the week…”

Of course, being able to stretch her improv skills was one of the better parts of this whole ordeal. Adapting was Chrysalis’ entire thing, but there was very little freedom in identity theft, and that one time she pretended to be a photographer was a waste of both time and potential. Creating a character from the ground up and rolling with it was above the average drone’s abilities (for starters, it involved tons of research) and thus it was much more fitting for the Queen of Deception. Also, she would be lying if she said it wasn’t at least a little fun.

“… and she said ‘surely it was just cooking oil’, and I snorted so hard, the mares next door must have thought we had a pig in the dorm!”

Cozy Glow dissolved in giggles (probably because she was half-asleep. The story wasn’t even that funny), lying on her back on one of the lounge’s stone seats. “Okay, that was hilarious. Wait, did it really happen?”

“Of course not, I’ve never cooked a meal in my life.” She dispersed her disguise. “What do you take me for, a peasant?”

“So you’re saying you just made that up?” Cozy squeaked out between yawning and rubbing her eyes. “That’s impressive.”

Chrysalis knew what exhaustion looked like, but a set of heavy hoofsteps echoed into the room before she could say anything. The changeling shivered, still finding it difficult to adjust to the instant change in the mood whenever Grogar showed up.

“I take it by the giggle fits that you are ready to go on your mission for the location of my bell.”

“She sure is, mister Grogar! I made sure of that.” Cozy answered, suddenly sounding far more sober. Grogar merely squinted at her.

“Before I send you off, Chrysalis, describe to me your planned course of action.” That felt like a dare, but she had no idea why and, frankly, she wasn’t about to ask. There was a lot Chrysalis felt the need to overlook if she wanted to get out of this messed up hostage situation, revenge against the ponies notwithstanding.

She breathed in, out, and started to talk. “I’ll be disguised as a pony historian in order to not raise suspicions when I go around asking about your bell.” She then took up the form of the same plain-looking pegasus mare from minutes ago. “I will present myself to Princess Twilight as someone with the intent to uncover, research and study the ancient tale of Gusty the Great, a legend I’ve encountered in old archived papers but never found more than the occasional reference to; I’ll ask her if she knows anything about it, which, given her highness’s curious nature, is likely to encourage her to personally help me find more about it, or at the very least point me to where I can find the information we need - namely, the places where your bell may be hidden.” She raised her chin in a display of smug confidence. “Given her gullibility and fondness for learning, I am confident I can earn her trust and have her allow me access to whatever source of knowledge I want.”

“A bold assumption for someone who has failed three times.”

That hit a nerve. “Why, I--”

“Which is why--” Cozy interrupted her-- “she’s going with my plan. It was though out in a way to give her freedom for more creative choices; it might take longer, but it has a fraction of the risk of her typical process.”

It took a stern glare from the filly for Chrysalis to realise what had just happened: Grogar was baiting her into losing her composure - her own self-admitted Achilles Heel. She is quickly angered, and the entire mission was going to be a big endurance test; she could not afford losing trust from the Princess of Friendship by lashing out.

Maybe she was being just a little overconfident.

“Very well,” Grogar said after carefully considering the filly. “I will observe your progress from my Beholding Eye; if it seems like you’re straying too far from the plan, it will be up to me to decide what to do next, and consequences will be had.”

The strangest part about his poorly-disguised paranoia, Chrysalis thought as she was whisked away by his magic, is how it seemed to be mostly directed at Cozy Glow. What does an ancient evil entity have to fear about a slightly smarter than average pony?

Well, she had to put a pin in that thought for the time being. She was at the very edge of Ponyville, about to spend at least a couple of days exchanging pleasantries with the enemy.

She allowed herself a moment to mourn what little peace of mind she might have still had, before heading Northwest to the castle.

“Ugh, finally.” Cozy had been working on that plan with Chrysalis for over twelve hours, three of which were spent getting Her Majesty to take her seriously. She was tired, hungry and begging for some alone time. “The world will be a much better place once I take over. Then creatures will have no choice but to listen to me.”

“Ah. So that is your end goal, is it not?”

Cozy jumped, startled. “Oh, you’re still here. I hadn’t realized.” She really needed a nap if she didn’t see the big blue goat two meters away, staring at the distance.

“I’ve been pondering nearly constantly about you.”

See, that was not a sentence Cozy needed to hear after pulling an all-nighter. Or at all, really. “Uh…”

“While I have seen both the range of your intellectual prowess and your nearly successful attempt at erasing Magic from our world, I lacked the context to understand your reasoning; at the end, the ingenuity of what you did had blinded me to the fact that it was, at its core, just a child’s attempt at being noticed.”

“Wait, what?!” She would have been angry at his assumption if she wasn’t too busy being creeped out.

Grogar slowly turned to her, head slightly tilted and an unreadable expression that reminded her this was a being older than The Sun Herself, which in turn made her very aware of her own mortality. “You wish to be heard. I will grant you that. Let it be known, however--” he stepped closer, and she stepped away-- “that I know what you’re capable of as well as what you aren’t. And I want you to know that I know.”

“I-I don’t-- what are you talking about? What the heck is your problem?!” She shrunk into the very edge of the stone bench, finding herself cornered by the armrest, and resented how small she was.

“You’re cunning and quick-witted, dare I say more so than the others, and for that you think of yourself as superior. But you’re still merely a child.” He placed a cold, gritty hoof on her cheek and she suddenly really wished she’d stayed in Tartarus. “Your manipulation tactics don’t work on me, and the ones they do work on aren’t as strong as I am. Therefore, Cozy Glow, know that I know what you’re capable of, and know that it won’t be enough to save you if I find out that you’re so much as thinking of raising a hoof against me.” He stepped back and turned to leave. “Otherwise, you’re welcome to take a place beside me as an advisor and strategist. Have a good day.”

It took a healthier mind than hers to have a panic attack or cry oneself unconscious after something like that happened. No, tears did nothing to relieve Cozy Glow’s already messed up psyche: instead, she was absolutely furious. At Chrysalis for being too dumb to make a feasible plan herself and instead making her do all the hard work; at Tirek for waltzing off to do whatever it was he’d been doing since the night before and leaving her alone; at Grogar for being so absolutely deranged he invited a bunch of terrorists on the off chance they’d agree to work together, only to immediately doubt their loyalty to the point of resorting to threats of physical violence; at Princess Twilight for her stupid friendship magic that defeated her; at herself for messing up so badly she got caught up in this joke of a horror movie.

Tears did nothing for Cozy Glow, but they came anyway, and that was the worst part.

Cozy Glow, Scared Little Child

Author's Note

So, long time no see, huh? Sorry for vanishing.

Those of you who are on Ao3 as well got this chapter a while ago, for reasons explained there. There's an interesting discussion about the finale in the comments too, but suffice to say I thought it was a glorious mess that at least explained some odd choices, like for instance Grogar's canon characterization (which was part of what drove me to writing this in the first place). Since then I kinda turned CG:DE into a "fix-it fic" of sorts, discarding the twist altogether as well as changing up the plot beats as the story needs it.

Still, I'd like to ask in advance to bear with me for this one; it was a struggle to write, and most notably the first few paragraphs are admittedly not up to my standards (but at least it's done?). Next chapter will be an interlude featuring Queen Lovebug Shenanigans for a break from all this angst though. See y'all in the future, hopefully soon.

Cozy Glow, Scared Little Child

Tirek walked into the common room, which seemed to have been slightly thrashed. He quickly assessed the damage (scattered books, broken vases, a few things tipped over, though the stone furniture remained unmoved) before focusing on the pathetic-looking lump of pink slumped on the ground.

“Did I miss something?”

Cozy’s ears flattened onto the back of her head, but she didn’t look up. “Where have you been?”

“Scavenging for scrap metal,” he said, dropping the stuffed burlap sack he was carrying with a loud ‘clang’. “I was thinking of making myself some lifting weights to pass the time while I’m stuck in this damp place with nothing to do.”

Cozy finally stood up and turned to him, manic expression betrayed by the bloodshot eyes and streaks of dried tears across her cheeks. “Wow, isn’t this nice? You found a hobby!” Her grin turned into a scowl. “Well, have fun enjoying yourself while some of us work ourselves to the bone!” She then fluttered to sit on the bench, seemingly unaware it was built with the same stone as the ground she’d just been on.

“What in Tartarus is your problem?”

Tirek saw her consider for a second, then lower her head. “Nothing. I’m just tired.” She curled up against the backrest like a cat trying to warm itself after having a bucket of ice water thrown at it. Which was bizarrely off-putting, since this was the same filly who only months ago seemed unstoppable in her attempts to subjugate all of Equestria. He looked around the room again: all this pointless destruction sparked an uncomfortable sense of familiarity and poked at his ability to not be bothered.

He picked up his burlap sack and walked off to one of the lair’s empty halls, but not before looking back one last time.

Cozy Glow woke up sore, cold and just as irritated as she’d been before. Her sleep was restless against the marble bench and unsettling dreams (the latter she had more experience dealing with, seeing as her entire life was a nightmare of its own), but she shrugged it off with a stretch and a few wing flaps; she was generally used to discomfort.

She wasn’t used to waking up to a meal.

The cucumber sandwich sat beside her on the bench, atop an old metal plate; it was haphazardly assembled and somewhat stale. Cozy blinked at it, half expecting it to vanish like some sort of illusion, and frowned when it didn’t. Something’s up, she thought, trying not to mind her rumbling stomach.

She looked around for suspicious activity, but the room was just as much of a mess as it had been when she fell asleep. She thought of calling out but stopped herself, no longer wanting to draw unwanted attention.

The filly then proceeded to take the next three minutes to inspect the suspicious sandwich, before concluding it was just old cucumber in stale bread as available in the communal kitchen. (Gosh, a cupcake sure would be nice one of these days…) "Weird." Still, her suspicion didn't settle: this had to be a trap, somehow; she would eat it and immediately be yelled at, or attacked, or worse. No one would just… make her food for no reason. No one ever did.

Cozy sighed. There had come a time when she decided to not let anyone control her anymore, hadn't it? And yet, there she was, at the mercy of some insane and insanely powerful old goat. Reduced from a menace to all of Equestria to being scared of a sandwich. Her stomach rumbled again.

This was unacceptable.

"You know what? This is my sandwich now." Cozy said, finally giving in to the hunger and frustration. "Finders keepers. You don't just leave food lying around like this--" she took a bite-- "kmowin’ phomeom’ elfhe wiw take it. Conthider thifh a weshon."

She finished her meal with a somewhat renewed sense of confidence. Grogar may think he can just use whomever he wants to get that stupid magic bell back, but if he himself said he wasn't as strong without it, then he was stuck with her until they retrieved it. She wasn't about to let herself be walked on; he needed her, she was invaluable to him. She was irreplaceable.

“I assume you’ll clean up this mess now that you’re done napping.”

“Yes, sir, Mr. Grogar sir.” she squeaked and immediately started picking up the things scattered across the ground. Maybe being assertive might be a little harder than she thought.

At least by herself.

When Cozy found him, Tirek was in the process of molding a half-melted piece of metal into one of those lifting things she never bothered learning the name of. He was kneeling on one of his front legs, the other being used to bend the metal into shape. It would've been impressive if he didn't look so… underwhelmed? Defeated? Sad? She didn't know. He acknowledged her presence with a quick glance, but didn't say anything; maybe he was just focused. Maybe she was just projecting.

“Just so you know, I ate your sandwich.”

“Okay.” He magically heated an iron rod and bent it around the construct, soldering it in with a controlled magic beam. The whole thing looked like some sort of hefty metal disk with holes in it.

"You know, you shouldn't leave food around like that. It's a waste."

Tirek turned to her with a confused frown.

"Just saying."

"... Right."

He went on to inspect his makeshift metalsmithing job. It looked... functional, as far as Cozy could tell. Was it weird that a Lord of a faraway land knew how to make lifting weights? Having lived for so long, it shouldn't be a surprise that he'd learned a few things beyond what the average creature would. She chuckled at the mental image of Tirek learning how to knit.

"What's so funny?"

Her ears went flat against her skull. "Why, a filly can't laugh now?"

Woah, where did that come from?!

"Alright, that's it." Tirek huffed and put aside the metal piece. He looked mad. Cozy stepped back, anticipating… something. "Your bubbly, chipper façade is enough of a pain, but somehow this grumpy version of you is an even more effective way to get on my nerves." He stepped closer and kneeled in front of her. "Tell me where this attitude is coming from."

… Huh? "Huh?"

"Now don't take this as me 'caring', or anything like that." He raised his hands defensively. "But if this behaviour is going to become a thing, I'd rather it doesn't; so let's get this over with. What's the problem?"

Cozy's survival instinct screamed 'trap' at her, but survival instinct was a thing she'd long found to be unreliable: 'that broccoli smells safe', 'the new foster family sounds better than the last one', 'Mr. Firpin wouldn't-- he wouldn't'. She couldn't trust her gut, so she had to rely on her conscious perception of the world to make reliable decisions.

But this was a unique situation. Cozy knew Tirek was dangerous and proud of it. She knew of his literal hunger for power, of his overt distaste for emotional drama, of his full capability to turn on anyone, take their magical essence and leave them to wither. And yet he'd never threatened her. He entertained and even helped her flesh out her plan to rule Equestria. Still, he was old and smart, so the question was: how would he benefit from knowing she'd been threatened by Grogar?

The answer is he wouldn't, if she could help it. "Well, what isn't the problem?! Why aren't you angry too?" She turned the question on him, a classic derailing tactic. "We're stuck inside a castle in the middle of a swamp, forced by a crazy old goat to find a stupid magic bell that hasn't been seen or heard of in thousands of years!!"

"That isn't the issue."

"Wha-- w-why do you say that?"

"Because the common room wasn't destroyed last night." Oh. Old and smart, indeed.

Was trying to hide the truth even worth the effort? Wouldn't Tirek eventually figure it out? Her game face wasn't nearly as strong as it used to be (she managed to hold her 'happy camper' act pretty well back in Tartarus); truth is, she was just… tired. Performing here was pointless, no one cared if she wasn't happy.

She sighed. "I--"

"Meet me in the main hall." She nearly jumped out of her own skin. Where did he come from?! "The two of you. We must discuss the next step of our plan."

Grogar vanished down the hallway as quickly as he showed up, and then Cozy noticed she was clutching Tirek's leg. She pushed herself away, sheepishly, but saw the look of realization in his face before; she looked away, defeated. She knew he could feel her shaking. She knew how weak she looked. For some reason, it was so much harder to fake confidence.

Tirek stood up. "Well. Let's go." He walked toward the exit, stopping by the doorway when he realized she hadn't followed.

She tried to think of anything else to say, anything that wouldn't show how, but when the tears started rolling down her cheeks she knew it was too late. The jig was up. "I-I'm so scared." A shaky laugh escaped her lungs between sniffles as she slumped onto the ground. Absolutely pathetic.

"Ah. I…" Tirek shifted his weight, clearly uncomfortable with the waterworks. "Uh, it's best if you… don't do that right now, if possible." He rubbed the back of his neck and walked over to her. "Hey. Little one. How do I…"

It turns out Tirek didn't know how to comfort someone, because his idea of getting Cozy to stop crying was to pick her up from the ground, wait for her to look at him, and say:

"Stop."

Which was so outlandish, awkward and unexpected that Cozy simply couldn't not refrain an ugly guffaw, which only baffled him further.

"What?! What is the meaning of this? Are you trying to confuse me!?"

She started wiping her face. "No, no. You-- you're really bad at this."

Tirek sighed. "I spent much of my life either trying to destroy ponies or planning how to destroy them." He absentmindedly placed Cozy on his shoulder. "Comforting one is not on my skill set."

She giggled again, still recovering from the emotional whiplash. "Yeah, well, it sorta worked. Wow. I needed that laugh." She took a deep breath and released it, feeling much better. Maybe Pinkie Pie had a point after all.

"So, are you ready to go now?"

Right. The planning thing. "Well… will you let me hide behind you if the old goat gets too creepy?"

He blinked. "You've been doing it since we got here. Have you not noticed?"

Huh. She thought back to the time Grogar introduced himself; she'd immediately latched on to Tirek for safety, and he'd allowed it. She wondered what that meant. "So, uh… is that a yes?"

Tirek huffed and headed to the main hall.