Do You Like Red?

Hello my name is Alex Tobias, and I care little for anything in life, I mostly just sit around and play video games while bumming at friends houses due to my consistent lack of a job. I figured I should start my story somewhere and where better then when everything fell apart for me?

I always did hate mornings from the weird taste in your mouth, the eye gunk that builds up, to the indescribable headache of my hangover I hated every morning I woke up on this shitty planet. So when I got invited by my 2 and only friends to go to Comicon I decided why not? I didn’t dress up or any shit like that unless you count the constant hoodies and jeans I wear as some getup.

The day of the con was boring and uneventful for the most part, at least that’s what I thought up until this weird dude dressed up like that guy from RE4 who sells you guns that I killed by accident the first time I met him. He was really creepy and sounded almost exactly like I remember that trader sounded he had some good stuff on the table though, spent all my money (ten bucks) on a necklace of a red dragon from 5E, the damn thing looked lifelike and I just needed it. I thought it was a steal until I got really dizzy and collapsed.

Waking up in woods? Check. Not my body? Check. Dick? Nope. Well that sucks I thought as I walked clumsily as four legs are not that easy to adapt to into the everfree forest, or I assumed it was the everfree might of been whitetail woods or something since I couldn’t see any spooky trees with faces or wooden wolves chasing some innocent filly or anything like that. As I walked along the small path in these woods I crossed my eyes looking down my red snout then looked back across my body, Yup definitely a red dragon and probably barely out of my wyrmling faze considering I was probably around 6 feet tall and a rough 8 feet long, gotta find a lake or something to try and see all this amazing dragonyness. The lack of male genitalia was slightly disconcerting but in all honesty, I really didn’t care that much, I got fire breath, great amounts of strength, and flying in exchange for my dick so I’d call it fair.

The walk wasn’t really that long probably an hour or two before I stumbled into a field full of trees with red spots in the leaves, figuring this was sweet apple acres I slowly walked through the trees until I came across a red barn and small farmhouse in the distance. Yup gonna meet the apple I guess. Walking towards the house as a dragon that looks much more intimidating than the normal ones you’d see wandering around the badlands and being 3 feet taller than big mac probably wasn’t the brightest idea I thought as a searing pain erupted from my left side, looking up there it was the apple that orange (kinda funny right? Like she's all about apples and stuff but she's orange? That's just ironic.)

“Fuck!” Probably not the most eloquent thing to say at such a diplomatic moment (damn my voice is higher definitely female.)

I quickly stood up and barred my teeth at the orange menace.

“The fuck was that ya bitch!” Not a wise choice of words to express my feelings verbally to the angry mare but fuck her feelings she hit me!

“Wut in tarnation are ya doin’ in my orchard!” Of course, the apples I totally forgot.

“Trying to find anything that isn’t trying to eat me to tell me where the hell I am!” lies I really just wanted to meet a pony, they aren’t as cute as I figured they’d be, but maybe that's because my first meetings was me being physically assaulted.

A short while of staring daggers at each other Applejack finally decided to speak up.

“Well A’h apologize fer hittin’ ya stranger but a critter as uh… large as you are wonderin’ up to where mah family is kinda got me riled up.” She paused for a moment before looking down then back up at me craning her neck to look me in my eyes

“ How about ye head up to those mountains and see if ya can find somewhere ta stay? Ponies ‘round here might not be to acceptin’ of a dragon just wonderin’ inta’ town.” I nodded lightly looking over to the small mountain peaks in the distance.

“Alright I appreciate that but please try not to kick me next time ya see me cuz next time I might not be so friendly bout the whole thing.” I said before giving a crooked smile and started walking towards those oh so distant mountains.

As I walked my thoughts began to wonder to just how absurd this whole thing was, sure I didn’t like my life or care about much before this fuckery but now that I’m a whole new species and gender in a magical land of ponies and stuff the reality of just how fucked I am began settling on me, and I did not like it one bit. First of all, I knew nothing of the lands I now inhabited besides what I’d seen in a children's show, second I knew nothing of wherein said show I was timeline wise, perhaps I was here before the nightmare moon incident in which case I had no fucking clue what to do. Maybe I should just hang out in these mountains and hunt nearby wildlife for a while, sure it’d be boring as hell but it’d give me time to learn how to fly and do the whole breathing fire thing while I waited. As I walked I started thinking back on my life, have I really done nothing but sit around and play video games my entire life? I guess I really was a failure in life maybe this won't be so bad. After roughly 6 hours of walking and the sun setting (darkvision rules man) I found a small cave near the peak of the mountain, walking in I started yawning and lazily looking around for anything of note, guess this is my new home I thought as I curled into a ball in a corner near the entrance and quickly drifting off to sleep.