Crash Landing

by Star Plasma

Rating: teen
Tags: Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Other, Comedy, Random, Slice of Life, Human, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 2549

A man who crash lands on Equestria tries to find a way to get back home.

I do not know where I am. Wherever it is, it's dark. Very dark. The only thing I remember is my name, and what I did to end up where I am now. The ship we boarded... it was so eerie. Everything about it. The distress signal. The empty corridors. The soundless hallways. And then there was the aliens; I remember them the most.

Published 2012-08-12 22:54:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-12 22:54:02 UTC

Crash Landing

"Great! Name's Toby. Now that you're all here, I can tell you about the craziest year of my life. So hold on to your horses..."

"Hey!"

"*Sigh* Sorry Twilight. Anyway, somehow I ended up in this strange place called Equestria. I have the distress call from sector 3A to blame. Some call it fate, I call it a shit-storm of life ruining events. Let me tell you how it all went down...

The inhabitants of housing vessel XTY-1463 had spotted an unknown spaceship approaching their vessel. My squad leader (can't remember his name) had responded to their message immediately. He sent my partner and I out to investigate the unidentified spaceship. After docking our spaceship at the housing vessel, we boarded the ship's pressurized chamber outside of the main doors. Using the monitor next to the door, we sent a signal informing them of our arrival.

Unfortunately, we didn't receive a response from them. "Get the Separator." Sharon, my partner, ordered.

I made my way back into our squad spaceship, reaching into the Separator's designated compartment. After retrieving the device, I went back to Sharon's location. Despite it's un-productive name, the Separator was quite useful. It's primary function was to open doors shut with compression methods. I walked up to the door with the Separator in hand.

"Turn it on." Sharon ordered. I gave her a quick, annoyed glance, but turned the machine on regardless. The Separator was the best infiltration device on the market.

"Activate." I said simply. The machine whirred to life in response. "Activate infiltration sequence?" it asked in a feminine robotic voice.

"Yes." I told it. "Are all systems functioning properly?"

The machine took a minute. "Affirmative." it responded.

"Begin." I said.

"Compression neutralization phase initiated." a small compartment in the device opened. A thick metal rod spun rapidly before drilling in between the two doors. The doors were sealed pretty tight, but they were no match for the Separator. The device pressed down into the middle of the doors with bone-chilling strength.

"Static output sequence initiated." the robot said. The electrical panels on the sides of the metal rod released maximum voltage on the interior of the door.

The flashy, glowing light on the outside of the door stopped glowing in response. "Power down." I told it, now that it's job was done.

It withdrew the metal rod back into the compartment, then shut itself off. As I approached the machine, ready to put it back into the spaceship. Sharon spoke. "No. Leave it here for now. We need to make sure everyone aboard is okay."

Leaving the machine there, Sharon and I opened the doors. With the pressure neutralized, the doors offered no resistance as we opened them. As we went inside, we noticed that we did not hear anything. There should have been lots of noise, considering this was a resident ship.

"Dude, this is creepy." Sharon said, drawing her plasma gun from it's holster. I took mine out as well. Indeed, this was very creepy. There was definitely something off about this place.

We moved down the corridors with extreme caution. Sharon and I opened every single room in the hallway. There was a variety of different rooms we came across, but all of them had one thing in common: they were all empty. Literally, there was no sight or sound of any living thing. Well, besides Sharon and I of course.

The whole scene was just so unsettling. A distress call from a housing vessel about some unknown spacecraft, then there was the fact that the whole place seemed to be empty. Yeah... just a little creepy. As we got to the end of the corridor, we finally heard voices.

I froze with horror and shock. Unfortunately, those weren't human voices. I caught sight of movement on my right. I tried to raise my plasma gun, but the creature was too fast. Just as I had it ready to fire, the alien leapt across the room, and slapped my gun right out of my hands. Simple as that.

A distressed cry from Sharon confirmed that she was being attacked too. I noticed the monster that attacked me didn't seem to have a weapon of any sort. How the hell did they take out a whole housing vessel with no weapons? My attacker was now ready to begin a swift assault. Poor thing. It had no idea how well I had been trained, or what I was capable of.

These creatures seemed to have similar body structures to humans, so I hoped they had the same weak points as well. The alien swung an arm at me. I ducked, rolled, and sprang up behind the alien. Unfortunately, this alien had probably received combat training as well. Quick as lightning, it kicked out with it's foot. It came into contact with my abdomen, and launched me up against the wall.

As I was dazed for a bit, the alien saw an opportunity. Quickly leaping over, it grabbed me by the neck, probably intending to either strangle me, or break my neck. Yeah, it was a win-lose situation. Unfortunately, I was on the losing side. The alien stuck it's face right in front of mine, and let out a harsh trill of what sounded like laughter.

That was the last noise it ever made.

As I prepared to die, I felt the alien's grip falter. A large hole began to appear in the middle of it's chest. Next thing I knew, the alien was on the floor, dead. When the alien fell, I saw Sharon standing with her plasma gun in her hand. She was panting, and had sustained several injuries. I didn't see any more dead aliens, besides the one that attacked me.

"Saved your life!" she said, starting to laugh. I started to laugh too. Something about avoiding death did that to people.

As we continued to explore the rest of the ship, we were very wary of any more aliens. Eventually, we made it to the pilot's chambers. No surprise, that was empty too. I approached the control panel. There was a strange pull-lever thingy, and a really high-tech looking monitor with images of stuff on it. Oh cool! I found the steering wheel. I knew what this was. There was also an autopilot button.

Suddenly, flashing red lights filled the room. "Warning. Massive object identified. Inbound at 300 kilometers per minute. Object distance is approximately 1400 kilometers. Adjust ship course now."

"Son of a b-"

I was cut off by a gurgling sound from behind me. I turned around. There stood an alien. It was grabbing Sharon's hair with one hand, and the damned thing was holding a knife in the other. The knife was bloody. Sharon's throat was cut, and blood was pouring out. The alien let go, and Sharon fell to the ground.

My reaction was instantaneous. Forgetting all about my plasma gun, I charged at the alien. It appeared to be ready for my attack. Swinging wide with it's knife, it tried to slit my throat too. I dropped down on my left arm. The knife went whizzing by where my head was a second ago. I swung my right leg, sweeping the alien's feet from beneath it. The alien fell over, the wind inside it's lungs getting knocked out.

I punched the hideous creature on it's forearm, making it drop the knife that was red with Sharon's blood. Seeing this made me all the more angry. I grabbed the alien's head with my hands and head-butted it in the face. Let's just say it was stunned for a while. Grabbing the knife, I looked down on the alien. I saw fear in it's eyes.

There will be no mercy for you! I thought, bringing the knife down between the creature's eyes. Greenish-black blood spurted out of the wound, spraying me in the face. I didn't care. I wanted revenge. I pulled the knife out, and stabbed it again. And again. And again. You get the point. I stabbed it's face so many times, that it's face just looked like really rotten hamburger meat.

It's dark blood pooled on the floor, mingling with Sharon's brighter, red blood. I crawled over to my fallen partner. She was still alive. Tears quickly formed in my eyes, and they began to fall on Sharon's chest. Sharon tried to speak, but only an incomprehensible gurgle came out. "Shh." I said, putting my finger to her lips.

She reached up to my face, stroking my cheek with her palm. Her hand slowly slid back down to her side, and her eyes closed. No. NO! Sharon was dead. Or so I thought. I felt her neck, which was still giving off a slight pulse.

Who was I supposed to blame for this? The person who sent the distress signal? My squad leader? Or the damned aliens? Yeah. I was gonna go with the aliens. My thoughts were interrupted by a horn blaring. "Object identified. Large asteroid inbound. Engage hyperspeed, and turn back at once." said the robotic speaker voice.

I made my way back to the control panel. It was very different from the controls back in the squad ship. I was once again faced with a terrible realization; I only knew how to use the steering wheel. Pathetic, right? I glanced at the monitor displayed in the middle. The asteroid was only 30 kilometers away.

"10 seconds until impact." the voice said again.

I quickly grabbed the steering wheel, and turned sharp left. Unfortunately, I wasn't fast enough. I fell to the ground as the asteroid came into contact with the ship's right wing. The whole ship shook with the force of the impact. "Major damage sustained on right wing. Total system failure in three minutes."

Great. The bastard's gonna blow up. Then I remembered one of the rooms Sharon and I passed earlier. Several escape pods lined the wall, ready for take off. I quickly made my way back to the room with Sharon over my shoulder. As soon as I got into a pod, the speakers came on again. "Two minutes until system failure."

I put Sharon in one of the seats on the side of the pod. Then I headed directly for the control panel. This one was just as complicated as the main ship's. I stood there for a while, staring at the buttons. Apparently I was there for a whole minute, because that's when the voice I was starting to hate came over the speakers again. "One minute until system failure. Evacuate immediately."

That's when I panicked. I started to button mash the control panel, except for the big red button. Everybody knows you DON'T push the red button. Nothing really happened when I pressed the other ones though. Well, one of them dropped some food and a bottle of water. I would have to remember that one. "Ten seconds until system failure! Leave at once!"

I totally lost it. Pounding on the wall, I yelled. "DAMN YOU! JUST GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!" I screamed. I was about to cry. And I would've too, if it hadn't been for the pod reacting.

"Voice command confirmed. Nearest planet's coordinates set as current destination." I was launched against the wall when the pod took off at high speed. Soon, the pod slowed down a little bit. I was able to walk on the floor. Sharon's body lay on the far side of the pod, against the wall. "Oops." I said. Gimme a break! I was panicking OK?!

I was on a ship going who knows where, with what appeared to be a dead body on board. Great. I hoped the inhabitants of the planet I landed on didn't think I was some sort of psychotic murderer or something.

"Planet sighted. Atmospheric conditions appear stable. Primary inhabitants appear to be of the equine species."

What? Equine life? What the hell? How was I supposed to communicate with horses?

"Arrival at destination in approximately ten minutes." Well, I guessed there was nothing to do but enjoy the ride! I walked over to Sharon, picked her up off the ground, and checked her pulse again. It was getting weaker.

"Hang in there partner. Hopefully you'll get help real soon." I didn't know how horses were supposed to help, but it's better to go through life believing in miracles, than to go through life not believing in them.

After a while, we entered the atmosphere of Equestria. The exterior of the pod began to catch fire. "Emergency cooling system engaged. Extinguish all flames after exiting."

When we were a thousand feet up, the pod chute opened, and slowed our descent. Of course, that's when Twilight saw us from her library." Toby chuckled to himself. "She thought we we were a meteorite or something. Anyway, we landed in the Everfree forest, and that's where Twilight and her friends met me. Twilight used her magic to fix Sharon's wound, and, as you can see, she's all better now. So.. yeah! That's pretty much it. Thanks for listening!"

Toby looked up from his journal, looking at the class of adolescent fillies and colts. Ms. Cheerilee's entire class applauded loudly, bringing a smile to Toby's face. Twilight and Lyra were clapping too. "Gosh Twilight! You're so lucky to have a human living with you!" Lyra said, more than a little bit jealous.

"Yeah. He's great. He really helps out a lot, and he's really nice!" Twilight replied.

The two mares' conversation was interrupted as Toby started saying something else. "Anypony have a question, comment?" Toby asked the classroom. Everypony's hooves shot up.

Toby laughed. "Hmm... how about you there?" he said, pointing to Sweetie Bell.

"What did Celestia do when she found out about you?" asked Sweetie Bell.

"Well, she wasn't really that upset or surprised about it. She just looked like she had a ton of questions to ask, kind of like Twilight did." Toby told Sweetie Bell, along with the rest of the class.

Twilight blushed a little, as the class laughed. She did ask a lot of questions. There was no denying it. "Yes! You there!" Toby called at a colt with a grey mane, and black flank.

"Was it fun to kill those aliens?!" the colt asked.

"Well... I wouldn't call it fun. I felt like I was fighting to protect Sharon's life, not mine." Toby answered the colt's question.
The class let out a bunch of "Aww's" and "Oooh's", making Toby blush deeply.

"Okay everypony! Time's up! School's over!" Cheerilee called from her desk, where she had been listening to Toby's story.

"Awww!" the whole class said. All of the adults chuckled. Was this really the only way to make teenagers want to stay at school?

"C'mon Toby. Sharon's waiting for us to meet her for dinner." Twilight said, brushing Toby's leg with her tail.

"Okay. You win!" Toby said, turning to follow Twilight. When he got to the door, he turned and waved at the students.

"Bye Toby! I love you Toby! Wicked awesome story man! You've gotta come back soon!" came the reactions of the class as they packed up their stuff to leave. Toby smiled, and closed the classroom door as he followed Twilight.