No Chance In Tartarus

by Wow_Gay

Rating: mature
Tags: Dark, Romance, Original Character, Spike, Discord, Sex, Anthro, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1575

Discord has a friendly chat with one of his lover's 'secret admirers'.

The spirit of Chaos and Disharmony has found himself a lovely little boyfriend, in one Spike the dragon. And he definitely couldn't be happier about it. A lover, a mate. Not something he thought he had needed beforehand, but now that he had it, he couldn't imagine a life without his most precious gem.

Now, however, his little dragon has started receiving floral arrangements and love letters from some anonymous somepony.

And that simply will not do.

Discord may be a reformed creature...but certainly not tamed.

One-shot. M/M slash. Rare pairing. Yandere!Discord, psychological screwing, possessive relationship, mostly dialogue. Not tied in to any of the other Dispike stories I have written.

Published 2019-04-28 07:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-04-28 07:00:01 UTC

The Admirer

"Ah...you're awake, splendid. I was worried you'd never awaken. You passed out so suddenly, is that a hereditary, inate thing? I certainly hope not, imagine if it was a violent criminal who had zapped into your house instead of your friendly neighh-borhood draconequus? You'd be beaten black and blue and all your fancy items would have been pillaged by now-"

"Oh honestly, again with the desperate screaming? Say goodbye to that troublesome little mouth..." *Snap!*

"Oh, what, don't give me that look. That helpless, terrified kicked puppy look. You don't get to use that, not after what you have done. You're quite lucky that I just removed it magically. You'll get it back as long as you're a nice, calm little pony, hm? Nod if you understand~..."

"...Good, good. See, you're not completely devoid of reason in that little equine skull of yours, I knew it! Now...down to business, hm?"

*Snap!* "For this, I believe I need a demonstration...oh do stop flinching, they're photos, not torture implements. Ugh, you're utterly spineless aren't you? Friendly little reminder: if I wanted to tear you limb from limb or seriously harm you I could have done it a few dozen bajillion different ways with a snap of my talon. Now look at this."

"Ah, yes, I see those inquisitive little eyes of yours...that recognition. There he is, the little dragon you've been smitten with, lately. Spike. I snapped this one while he was reading a book, isn't he cute...no, don't nod, gods, that's why you're in this predicament in the first place, stop that."

"Mhm, the gears in that mind of yours are squeaking desperately on, aren't they? 'Discord, you dashing, clever rouge, how in Tartarus could you have discerned my identity?'...well it was rather simple...for me. I just tracked the last little...care bundle that you sent Spike. All the way here, to the Crystal Empire...postal service had everything I needed. Easy to learn what you want when you're me, isn't it? But now...let's look at these darling photos. Quite a number of them."

"And now, Exhibit B, as it were. Yes, all those sweet letters, those confectionaries, those floral arrangements you've sent to the Crystal Castle in Ponyville. And it is all of them, I think..."

"Exhibit C, here we are! And yes! I can hear your silent question, and it in fact is a giant bonfire that I am roasting marshmallows over, and indeed, your little...gifts, are the fuel. By the way, those s'mores were delicious."

"Ah, and now, Exhibits D through Zed...and they are all of Spike. Look here, he's sunbathing! Ooh, and this one is a favorite, he's fallen asleep doing inventory, so adorable. Ah, yes, and the classic, eating gems. Emeralds are his favorites, by the way..."

"...Oh come now, don't be prudish, I've read your letters you know, no point in pretending you aren't a lech. Yes, he does wear lingerie...and I do believe he looks positively scrumptious, doesn't he? ...Don't nod, are you kidding!? I'm pissed enough as it is, don't make this harder on yourself...now for the next-"

*Snap!* "Hm, I didn't think I'd need to actually force you to look at them this early, but oh well...now take a nice, good, loooong look...not that you have a choice anymore. Mmhm, yes, that's indeed my cock. I know, it's quite impressive. He takes me beautifully, no matter which way, though...oh, look how hard he's trying. He deepthroated the whole thing, by the way, was very proud of himself. Next..."

"Jeez, it's a photo, not the damn sun. You won't be blinded, stop that meddlesome squirming, how dramatic. I thought this was what you wanted. Being privy to Spike in such an...erotic fashion. Maybe not in this exact way but, semantics. Look at him...covered in his own essence, that fucked-out expression, his flushed cheeks, that gorgeous tailhole filled with my cum...mm, he's delectable, isn't he?"

"Oh there's plenty more, to be honest. So many cute pictures of my sweetling...here's another. Workout clothes. He wants to build muscle, upper body strength...which I don't mind as long as it doesn't take away that plump little rear of his...it's so fun to grope and smack and play with, losing it would be an egregious crime..."

"Anyways, I believe I have reached 'The Point'. As in the entire point of this little excercise. Now...do you see this gorgeous dragon? With his emerald eyes, his sweet voice, his chubby cheeks, his curvaceous figure, and his big, loving heart? Do you see Spike? Precious, sweet little Spikey Wikey? Yes? Good, good..."

"He's mine. So do yourself, and me a favor, and stay away from him. You don't have a chance in Tartarus of even holding his gaze for more than five seconds. Don't be foolish."

"Oh don't you dare give me that outraged, holier-than-thou look. This isn't some soap opera. No, I suppose I don't own him, and if he were to say, leave me, I'd have to respect that...after throwing a few well expected temper tantrums and perhaps a soft kidnapping in order to convince him to take me back...but until that point? He may as well belong to me."

"And I'm not some jealous, overly possessive, abusive boyfriend, how utterly clichéd, blech. If Spike wanted to perhaps say, pursue a poly relationship with a mutual acquaintance, I would be down to try it out...this isn't that though. No, you're just some presumptuous throwaway who believes you have a snowball's chance in Tartarus of luring my sweetling away from me. When you know he has a significant other, no less. I know he's sent you one return letter telling you so. And that? That simply will not do."

"Let me be clear: you will never be with Spike. You will never hold him, or kiss him, or touch him...honestly if I have my way enough, you will never be able to get close enough to even see him, ever again. Content yourself with stuffed plushies, or perhaps that statue. Otherwise? Give up."

"Starting from this day...if you send one more floral arrangement, one more box of chocolates, even just one more amorous letter filled with flowery poems to my dearest jewel..."

A dark, menacing chuckle echoed out, chilling in its cadence.

"I won't kill you, certainly not, I'm reformed, and death is so boring...but I'll make you wish I did, won't I? Oh yes, you will beg for the sweet release of the beyond, but it won't answer will it? I could collapse your entire pathetic existence, make your world fall down atop you, drive you completely fucking mental, all before I've had my morning tea. And as your sanity and pitiful life crumbles around you, and you're left a shuddering wreck?"

Another laugh. Slightly deranged, unhinged.

"I'm going to be laughing, and bringing my beautiful little sweetling to a climax so toe-curling it will make his sweet little voice scream my name loud enough for good old Celly to hear, and he will have forgotten of even a hint of your existence in a few days. You're nothing to him. Just silly little background element that never had a chance. Learn your place and shoot for someone in your league, hm? Someone equally as uninteresting. Hell, go after Sunburst, if you must. I don't particularly care who else you shoot for..."

"But my darling Spike is off limits to anypony who thinks he'd leave me to be with them. Are we clear? Nod twice if you comprehend, pony."

*Snap!* "Wünderbar! I knew I just needed to have a friendly talk! Glad we could reach an understanding...and your mouth is back as promised, aren't I nice? Anyways, I should be taking my leave...a gorgeous little dragon awaits me for a romantic evening, and I wouldn't miss it for all of Equestria. Toodles!"

With a flash and a pop, the spirit of chaos was gone.

Spike smiled as he enthusiastically hugged his lover. "You made it! I was
uh...worried you were too busy."

Discord raised a scraggly brow and chuckled. "Too busy? For you? Oh, never. Not in a million, billion years, sweetling."

The dragon giggled. "Yeah? Is that so?"

He was swept up into the draconequus' arms, his small and comparatively light frame easy to carry for the spirit. "It's definitely so, love...what do you say we get this evening underway, hm? I have so much planned for you~..."

The boy bit his lower lip. "O-Oh, really? Like what?"

"Oh come now dear, that'd be spoiling, and I spoil you enough don't I?" He teased, scratching beneath his lover's chin.

Spike looked pouty. "What were you doing before you got here anyways, hm?

Discord chuckled and pet the boy's spines. "Oh, nothing much...just tying up a troublesome matter. You know how it is~"

"Oh, okay...did it go well for you?"

The draconequus floated his way to Spike's bedroom, his little boyfriend in hand. A knowing smirk crossed his lips. "Oh yes. I do believe it went perfectly, love..."

Author's Note

Womp whomp.

Wanted to try my hand at a newish writing style. Definitely not my default, of course, but dialouge only stuff like this is really neat.

Also wanted to write some yandere!Discord, had a hankering for it. And yeah, the admirer is a crystal pony, but their gender is left ambiguous, because it doesn't matter what gender, if you try to snatch away his dearest gem, you're doomed. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯