.
“So, you’re playin’ Joker, huh?” Applejack drawled. “That figgers.”
“Who’s Joker?” Pinkie grinned, finalizing her choice. “My name’s Ren Amamiya. I’m just a normal, everyday high school student.”
“Uh-huh.”
“I don’t have any magical powers or secret superhero friends or anything.”
“Right.”
“And I absolutely don’t have access to a secret world, and association with it hasn’t allowed me to unlock special powers from within myself, or go on adventures to reform people, or save my community from a magical evil threat, or anything.”
Applejack looked at her suspiciously.
Pinkie Pie blinked innocently. “What?”
“Yeah, all a’that,” Applejack nodded, still peering at her. “Now, about that cat you found last week, sugar cube…”
“Aw, relax, Applejack,” said Spike, scratching himself contentedly. Settling down on the couch by Twilight, he yawned, adding, “Everybody knows cats can’t talk.”
The living room of the house Sunset and Twilight shared was a pleasant tangle of voices and laughter as the Rainbooms settled back in. The CMC had been picked up perhaps five minutes prior, leaving the older teens with the house to themselves.
Applejack and Pinkie Pie continued the character choice process – while demolishing a bag of Cheezi Poofs – as Rainbow Dash made herself comfortable on the recliner, popping open a soda. Rarity re-entered from the kitchen with her sketchbook and a plate of veggies, only to give Rainbow Dash a look of pure indignation.
“Oh, honestly! I was gone less than five minutes--!”
“You snooze, you lose,” Dash replied happily.
Rarity narrowed her eyes, considering her options. The most obvious, of course, was to simply sit on the floor somewhere. There were ample cushions and pillows scattered about. She needn’t be uncomfortable. But then, that was hardly the point.
On the other hand, she could just sit on Rainbow Dash. There was no question that she would be able to maintain her poise while she did. However, Rainbow was also a belligerent sort, and would likely wiggle. Which would help the sketches Rarity hoped to produce of her recent inspiration exactly none at all.
Observing all of this, Twilight Sparkle and Sunset Shimmer happily cuddled together on the love seat. The engagement party had started that afternoon, in a way, with copious food and drink runs with the six friends plus the Canterlot Movie Club – along with planning out films the three girls had wanted to show their older friends throughout the day, of course. It had been a raucous, giggling, absolutely silly adventure that had led them all over town and taken easily twice as long as it should have.
Then, throughout the day, other friends had come and gone. They’d given their well-wishes and hung out for however long. The “public” party had the door open from three til nine. Wallflower Blush, Trixie, Flash Sentry, Octavia and Vinyl, and some others had been expected, of course. And naturally, Shining Armor and Cadence had stopped by, along with Twilight’s parents, and so had Celestia and Luna. But by six or so, supplies were running low. Dash and Rarity had volunteered to go on another snack run. By the end of the day, both of the blushing brides-to-be had been frankly amazed at how many well-wishers they’d accumulated during their senior year.
That, however, was all done with at last. Now, it was ten o’clock. The CMC had run themselves ragged, and had been crashing even before Big Mac had come by to scoop them up. The door was locked, the ‘welcome’ sign taken down from the front window. There might be a few stragglers, or there might not… but regardless, this was the quiet part of the party. The part Twilight and Sunset had looked forward to above all else. Just hanging out with the friends they loved most, until whenever people decided it was time to wander home. Just talking, laughing, hanging out…
“Oh, god dammit all ta hell! Are you fuckin’ serious?!?”
…and playing video games.
“OoooOOOoooo, that was a close one,” Pinkie Pie said. “You were off by, what, maybe three pixels?”
“Don’t get me started, girl.”
Rainbow Dash shook her head. “I still can’t believe Waluigi isn’t on this one.”
“He was gonna be,” Applejack nodded as the screen changed. “But Joker here stole his invite.” She gave Pinkie a mock glare. “Fucker.”
“I categorically have no idea what you’re talking about,” said Pinkie happily.
“Terrible,” said Rainbow Dash.
“I know it is,” Applejack agreed.
“Guess there’s nothing to do for it but…”
Both of them raised their voices at once.
“Waaaagh!”
Rarity frowned slightly from where she sat on the recliner’s arm. “Still, isn’t there some unlockable skin you could use, or something?”
“Not yet,” Sunset said. “Twilight’s been talking about making one.”
Twilight washed down a mouthful of chips with soda. “Well, not exactly,” she said. “I wanted to play the Joker Pack version first, and study how they balanced in the new character. After all, if I’m going to add a skin, I may as well just mod in a whole character, right? And I wanted to give the company a chance to come through, just in case.”
“Get real,” Rainbow Dash protested. “If Leave Luck 2 Heaven was gonna do it, they’d have done it by now. I mean, they put a plant into the cast.” She shook her head in sheer disbelief. “A fucking plant!”
“All righty! Let’s see who our new opponent is!” Pinkie Pie chirped.
“Cheatin’, stripper-pole dancin’, horn-swallowin’, back-bitin’, low-down, no-account…” grumbled Applejack. “Three goddamn pixels, swear ta God…”
“Hey, that’s no way to talk about my mom,” Pinkie Pie said with mock indignation.
“What’re you on about—oh, now, what the hell…?”
“Potted plant,” Sunset nodded. “Dangerous.”
“An’ a Pikachu?” Applejack gaped. “What the hell?”
“The enemy’s strong!” Twilight laughed. “Be careful, Joker!”
Pinkie Pie cocked her head. “Uh, Morgana, are we watching the same fight?”
“So, does th’ Joker Pack add any assist trophies?” Applejack asked, hands furiously working the controls.
“I don’t know,” said Twilight. “But it has some Mii fighters. Like, a Yu Narukami Mii fighter, I think. And a Makoto.”
“Okay, that does sound pretty sweet—oh, Jesus!” Applejack exclaimed. “What, is this Ash’s Pikachu?”
“Aaah! Stop him!” Pinkie Pie cried. “Don’t let him do it!”
“Nice! Hit ‘im with it! Did y’all see that? Flawless recreation of an attack from the game! An’ a hundred percent damage or more is an autokill!”
“Yee!”
“Which is also faithful to the game,” Twilight observed, “since you usually do an all-out attack when your enemy is low on health. And if you do that, chances are the all-out attack will be enough to finish the fight.”
“Look out now,” Applejack said suddenly, “get off that level, he’s comin’ for—aaaagh!”
“The plant just ate me,” Pinkie observed.
“Huh, guess when he’s in his pot I can’t do damage to him.”
“It is going to spit me out, or…?”
“Yeah, I’m done.” Dash stood up and drained her soda. “Fucking plant. Hey, wait a minute--!”
But Rarity had already slid down into the recliner seat, still contentedly sketching.
Rainbow Dash sighed and shook her head, crushing the can as she went into the kitchen. “No friends,” she said. “I have no friends…”
On-screen, the battle raged on for a while. Eventually, the balance of power tipped yet again.
“Get the trophy, get the trophy! No, wait—aaaaack!” Pinkie Pie stared in shock as her character exploded off screen.
Applejack nodded as she continued her battle. “Yep. Save the world, take down God… get’cher ass kicked by an electric mouse an’ a potted plant. I’m tellin’ ya, there just ain’t no justice.”
Pinkie looked to her friend with huge, soulful eyes. “Avenge me, mighty warrior. You are the chosen one!”
Applejack shrugged. “Well, you ain’t no Zelda, but I guess I’ll do what I can…”
Pinkie blinked in surprise, then put her hand to her heart with a disbelieving sound. “That… hurt.”
“Aaand, done,” said Rarity happily. Putting her sketches to the side, she looked at the duo sitting by the TV. “Now then, mind if I join you two?”
“Be my guest,” Applejack said, still playing. “More the merrier, I’m gettin’ creamed here anyway—oh, a perfect guard! Didja see that?”
“I really like this new pack, though,” Pinkie added, tossing Rarity another controller.
Rarity moved over by the couch, taking a few pillows with her. With sketches out of the way, this would provide a better view. While Applejack entered the pause screen, Rarity got comfy with her back against the sofa next to Sunset and Twilight, and started scrolling through characters.
“Yeah, Sakurai is a huge Persona fanboy,” Sunset said. “Of the whole series, it turns out.”
“And we’ve got enough controllers for everybody,” Applejack added. “Between the six of us, evil don’t stand a chance.”
“You mean seven, don’t you?” Rarity asked as she made her selection.
Applejack cocked an eyebrow at her. “Princess Peach? Really?”
“Let a lady show you how it’s done, dear,” Rarity smiled.
“Well, okay,” Applejack said. “But I think you’re gonna be disappointed.”
“Joker again!” Pinkie bounced happily where she sat.
“And anyway, it’s six,” Sunset pointed out. “Dash doesn’t game.”
“Hey, what can I say?” Dash grinned as she returned with several cans. Seeing the recliner vacant, she happily reclaimed it. “Once you’ve kicked bad guy butt in real life, virtual combat gets pretty boring.”
“Oh, that’s why,” Applejack said, nodding sagely. “A’course. An’ here I thought you jus’ got tired a’gettin’ your ass handed to you.”
Rainbow peered at her. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Applejack gave her a look of amusement. “Nuthin’. Not a damn thing.”
“Anyway, it’s not six, it’s five.” Twilight broke in quietly. “Fluttershy’s not coming.”
Everyone else stared at her.
“What?” Rarity exclaimed.
“I… I thought she just had to work really late,” Sunset managed.
“Sure,” Rainbow Dash nodded. “Injured animals and stuff. It’s happened before.”
“Did she say why?” Sunset asked.
Twilight shook her head, then looked at her fiancé. “I’m sorry, I thought I told you. She said she couldn’t make it. She, um, kind of acted like she wasn’t… comfortable with the whole idea.”
Rarity seemed even more incredulous. “Fluttershy?”
Sadly, Twilight nodded. “I’m sorry, Sunny. I don’t know why. She said she thought she’d have to work late, but…” her voice trailed off and she sighed.
For several moments, no one spoke.
Then, Applejack glanced towards the couch, her expression thoughtful. “Um, Twi, just outta curiosity… how exactly did y’all invite Fluttershy?”
Twilight blinked. “In person.”
“Yeah, I mean, what did y’say about th’ party? How’d y‘all describe it?”
“The same way as when I invited you. Why?”
Instead of answering, Applejack just leaned her face onto her hand. In her other hand, her controller dangled, forgotten.
“Oh, my god,” she grinned.
The other girls looked from Applejack’s suppressed mirth to Twilight’s confusion and back, their own confusion growing by the moment.
“Um, darling, perhaps you could clue in the rest of us?” Rarity asked.
“I think Twilight should be the one to tell it,” Applejack said, unmoving. “If’n you wouldn’t mind?”
Twilight blinked. “I… guess not. There’s not much to tell, though. I went to see her at the animal shelter last week…”
.
The Canterlot Animal Shelter was a mystery in many respects, not the least of which was how it managed to stay as well organized and as clean as it did with so many animals wandering around without cages. Cats, squirrels, birds, rabbits, raccoons, dogs, ferrets… any number of creatures that should have been at one another’s throats, or at least running roughshod over the place. Instead they were co-existing in, if not harmony exactly, at least a cheerful armistice.
The answer, of course, was Fluttershy. At first, Twilight had theorized that her friend’s power with animals included a degree of control over them, one which Fluttershy used on a subliminal level to keep the animals in line. Later, she’d theorized that perhaps animals in general were actually closer to conventional sapience than had previously been postulated.
But in the end, she had been left with no choice but to conclude that, once they’d met her, animals simply didn’t want to hurt Fluttershy’s feelings.
There were some powers which transcended magic.
The yellow-skinned girl brightened immediately upon seeing her friend, gently shooing various animals out of the way to greet Twilight with a hug and a smile.
“Twilight, how wonderful to see you! Are you here to pick out another animal friend?” Then, her look becoming concerned, she added, “Is Spike lonely?”
Twilight smiled. “Actually, I’m here to see you. Do you have a minute?”
“Oh, I suppose so. Here, let’s step over here…”
A few minutes later, the two of them were sitting down in relatively comfortable chairs in a small break room. Lines of various birds were perched around the lockers and shelves, including a large owl snoozing on top of the refrigerator.
“So, what’s going on?” Fluttershy asked softly. “Is everything alright?”
Twilight grinned. “Everything’s wonderful. Actually, I’m here to invite you to a party next Sunday.”
“Oh. You mean, like, a post-graduation party?”
Twilight shook her head. “No,” she said. “Pinkie isn’t throwing this one. Sunny and I are.”
“Oh. Well. Is it, um, a big party?”
“No…” Twilight thought again. “Well, as I think of it, we’re keeping the door open until about nine, with general invitations to anyone from school. And it’s in our house, so it might get a little crowded from time to time. But starting between nine and ten we’re figuring it will just be the seven of us.”
“Oh, Well, I might just show up then, if that would be alright.”
Twilight nodded. “Sure.”
“What kind of party is it?”
“It’s a smash party.”
Fluttershy froze. She blinked several times, then swallowed. Finally, she said, “I… beg your pardon?”
“A smash party,” Twilight repeated. “Well, just the last part will be, when it’s just us. Sunset and I are engaged, and to celebrate, we’re getting everybody together and we’re all going to smash.”
“Oh,” Fluttershy said faintly. “Are you.”
“Absolutely. I admit I wasn’t that much into it myself, at first. I mean, I’d never smashed at all until I moved in with Sunset. She introduced me to the whole thing, actually.”
Fluttershy swallowed, then nodded. “That… that makes sense, I guess,” she whispered.
“But when she finally got me into it, I was hooked.” Twilight giggled. “We must have smashed for something like ten hours straight.”
“Um,” Fluttershy managed. “Really.”
“Uh-huh. I was getting really good at it, too.” Twilight shrugged. “Of course, that was months ago. I’ve only gotten better since then.”
“Oh. Um. Congratulations?”
“Thanks,” Twilight grinned.
Then, studying her friend, Twilight became serious. “Anyway, um...” she sighed. “look, I can see that you’re concerned.”
She took a deep breath, then went on in her most serious tone, “And I appreciate your concern. I really do. I know we’re both really young, and we’ve only known each other for about a year. Believe me, I’ve already had that talk with my brother. And with Principal Cadence. And with my parents.”
She shrugged. “And then with Shining again. And then with Vice Principal Luna.”
Then Twilight paused, considering. “And also with Sunset, come to think of it.” Then, she refocused on Fluttershy, saying, “But we are in love. And our commitment to one another is absolute.
“Also, we have an advantage most couples don’t,” she went on. “One of us can read memories and emotions on contact. So, yes, we’re certain. As certain as it gets. But in the meantime, we’re also having a very long engagement. Years long.
“So, I guess what I’m saying is, don’t worry about us. We’ll be fine.”
Fluttershy smiled warmly, extending her hands to Twilight. “I am so happy for both of you.”
Twilight blushed happily as she took Fluttershy’s hands in her own, squeezing them.
“So, can we look for you around nine or ten?” she asked. “We’ve just got a whole new set of attachments, so we can all smash at once.”
Fluttershy squeaked, suddenly standing.
Twilight also rose, releasing her hands. “Are you okay?”
“Oh,” Fluttershy said a little breathlessly, “I’m fine.”
“Are you sure? You look a little flushed. Do you need some water?”
“No… I’m… I’m fine,” Fluttershy whispered, sitting back down a little unsteadily. “Are… is everyone going to be… um…?”
Twilight shook her head, also sitting again. “Well, no, Rainbow Dash won’t be. It’s really not her thing.”
“Oh. Well, no, of course not.”
“But she’ll be with us in spirit. She’ll be watching the rest of us.” Twilight grinned a little. “Of course, this is Rainbow Dash, so whether she’s smashing or not I’m sure there will be plenty of commentary.”
Fluttershy gulped, turning a deeper shade of crimson.
Puzzled, Twilight offered, “So, um, if you’re not sure you’d like it, you could just watch while the rest of us smash, and then if you wanted you could join in whenever you—”
“I’m… I’m sorry, Twilight,” Fluttershy said breathlessly. “I don’t think I can… I mean, I think I’ll have to work late… yes, there are a lot of sick animals, and they’ll definitely need lots of watching, very, very late into the night…”
“But—”
“I’m sorry, Twilight, I have to… I have to go now!” And with that, Fluttershy bolted from the room, leaving Twilight staring after her in confusion.
.
As Twilight finished recounting her tale, she realized that everyone except for Applejack and Rainbow Dash was staring at her.
Applejack, for her part, was still resting her forehead on her hand, biting her lower lip, obviously trying not to laugh.
Rainbow Dash’s shoulders were starting to shake as she squeezed her eyes shut. But she, too, was trying to contain her mirth.
Everyone else simply stared with varying mixes of amusement and horror.
Finally, the moment broke, and Dash burst out laughing.
Applejack, still struggling, pointed an accusatory finger at her, saying, “You are no goddamn help!”
While Rainbow Dash slid helplessly to the floor, gasping for air, Twilight turned to Sunset, completely lost.
“But… I don’t understand. What did I do wrong?”
With great effort, Sunset managed to keep her face mostly straight. “You didn’t do anything wrong, honey,” she said carefully. “It’s just, um…” She took a breath and finished, “that’s not what that means.”
Rarity nodded. “It’s a completely understandable mistake, darling. But as a colloquialism, the word has a set meaning. It has for years.”
“Which word?” Twilight asked. “What meaning? What did I do?”
Sunset gave her betrothed a smile of pure love. “C’mere,” she said. Putting an arm around Twilight, she pulled her in close and whispered into her ear.
Twilight Sparkle’s eyes grew wide.
“Oh…”
Spike raised his head slightly, still half asleep.
“My…”
Rainbow stopped laughing.
“GOD!!”
Outside, birds fluttered in the summer trees, their rest disturbed by Twilight’s shout. Meanwhile, Twilight was staring ahead in sheer anguish, her cheeks a deep crimson.
“Oh my god…” she whimpered. “Oh, my god…”
Spike blinked dazedly and looked at the girls around him. There was a distinct lack of anxiety from anyone but Twilight. Obviously, this was therefore human stuff that they could sort out on their own. Satisfied, he nodded back to sleep.
Rainbow looked at her, her own mirth fading. “Um, Twilight? It’s not that big a deal.”
“Not a big deal?” Twilight exclaimed. “Not a big deal? Rainbow Dash, this is Fluttershy! I accidentally propositioned her! She must have thought I was trying to pressure her into… and she’s straight… and oh my god! Plus, she’s Fluttershy! How must that have made her feel?”
Rainbow rubbed the back of her own neck, looking uncomfortable. “Um, Twilight…”
Twilight meanwhile slumped, holding her head in her hands. “There is no God,” she said miserably. “My life is a lie.”
“Hey, look at it this way,” Sunset offered, putting an arm around her fiancé. “You didn’t just proposition her, you propositioned her for all of us.”
Sunset grinned as Twilight slumped over into her lap, groaning.
Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash said, “Look, it’s not like you hurt her feelings or anything. You didn’t. I promise you, you didn’t.”
Rainbow Dash thought for a moment, then added, “For one thing, I dunno if I’d call her straight, exactly. I’m not sure if gender is really a factor for her, but I do know she’s demisexual. The only way she gets attracted to anybody is if she already loves ‘em. Like, a lot. So… kinda why she doesn’t date.”
At Rarity’s raised eyebrows, Dash added, “Hey, it’s not a secret!”
“Well, if you’re quite sure, darling,” Rarity demurred.
“Sure I’m sure! Heck, we went to grade school together.” Rainbow paused, remembering. “For a while in middle school, everybody thought we were an item. Which was fine at first. Guys left us alone, so we went along with it, kept up the act.” She sighed, adding, “But then we started getting hit up for three-ways by the older boys.”
Pinkie looked at the ceiling, blew her bangs out of her eyes. Then, Rarity knocked her character into a chasm, and she re-focused on the game. Applejack and Sunset, meanwhile, did identical eye rolls.
Rainbow Dash nodded. “Yeah, exactly. So then we both came out, and after a while guys figured out they were wasting their time. Well, except for Zephyr.” She took a drink. “Idiot.”
Applejack shrugged, her eyes still on the screen. “Huh. I allus thought she was asexual.”
“Nope. I’m the only ace in the room.” Dash took another sip as she sat back in the chair, crossing her ankles on the coffee table in the most deliberately nonchalant manner possible. She flashed Applejack a peace sign and grinned, “Literally givin’ no fucks.”
Then, she turned her attention back to Twilight, her tone becoming more serious. “So, no harm done, is what I’m trying to say. No hurt feelings, no pressure. Okay? Heck, in a few years, we’ll probably all be laughing about this, Fluttershy included.”
Twilight, meanwhile, was hiding her face in Sunset’s lap. “But I still embarrassed her!”
“Okay, hon. Okay,” Sunset said, stoking her hair. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Tell you what, we can call her right now—”
Twilight groaned something vaguely negative.
“I can call her right now,” Sunset amended, digging out her phone, “and tell her it was just a misunderstanding, that we’re playing video games, and we’d all love it if she can still make it.”
Twilight looked up at her, frowning. “Would that work? I mean, shouldn’t we just text? She’s not that comfortable with calls…”
Sunset started dialling. “I know. But under the circumstances, I think this should be an actual call. She might ignore a text.”
Twilight started to relax. “Yeah, okay. If you think that’ll work.”
Sunset grinned. “Trust me.”
As Twilight gave a soft sigh of relief, there was a gentle knock at the door.
“I’ll get it,” she said, rolling to the floor. “That’ll be the pizza.”
“Weird,” Sunset muttered. “She isn’t answering.” Frowning, she hit redial.
“Yay! I’m starving!” Pinkie Pie cheered.
“Yes, well, I imagine knocking my socks off every match must work up an—oh, honestly!” Rarity exclaimed. “Again?”
While Rarity’s character exploded somewhere off-screen and Pinkie grinned, Twilight padded barefoot across the carpet to the door, stepping over the assortment of pillows scattered about. “You already paid, right?”
“Uh-huh,” Sunset nodded. “Plus tip.”
Twilight snagged her purse by the door just the same. It was late, and it was a huge order. No sense in not giving the driver a little extra.
But the figure on Twilight’s porch was not carrying pizza. Instead, she had a backpack, a delicate blush, and an uncertain expression.
Twilight blinked. “Fluttershy?”
“Oh, um, hi,” Fluttershy managed to whisper. “I’m sorry. I know it’s late, but, um… I mean… if it’s not too late, and I’ll understand if it is, but, I, um, I…” she lowered her head, her blush deepening furiously. Then, she looked up at her six friends from beneath her pink bangs.
“I’ve… changed my mind?”
Twilight immediately melted. “Aww…”
Twilight gathered Fluttershy in an immediate embrace. Somehow, it became a group hug even as they crossed the threshold.
Somehow, the engagement party turned into a sleep-over, with the seven of them laughing, snacking, and playing Super Smash Siblings until well after dawn.
Somehow, they never got around to discussing the miscommunication between Twilight and Fluttershy, or Fluttershy’s unexpected appearance.
Somehow, they never needed to.
Author's Note
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I swear to you all, as I live and breathe, that until very recently I truly believed that asking someone over to “smash” was an invitation to play Smash Brothers.
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(This continuity continues in Dream Date.)
