The Cutie Mark Crusaders's guide to Dealing with bullies

by MLPFan9000

Rating: teen
Tags: Diamond Tiara, Alternate Universe, Human, Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Scootaloo, Profanity, Random
Length: 1734

I told them they were in a show and then this happened...

So, I told the Cutie Mark Crusaders one day that they are in a show and then this happened... …they decided to make the world learn 10 ways to deal with bullies. This takes place before they got their cutie marks.

READ THIS: The first chapter is my perspective, everything else has nopony or my perspective whatsoever.

Published 2019-04-30 11:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-04-30 11:30:01 UTC

PonyTube Ideas

"So what should we do?" Apple Bloom says.

"I don't know, maybe get our own camera and film some videos? Sweetie Belle responds, and asks.

"But what kind of videos?" Apple Bloom asks.

"Toy Unboxing!" Sweetie Belle says.

"Who would watch that?" Apple Bloom asks.

"Good point, what do you think we should make?" Sweetie Belle says.

"Maybe we should react to videos on camera, miss every single joke and then at the end say it sucks!" Apple Bloom says, in a higher toned-voice. The room falls silent. "Or not..." Apple Bloom says.

"I HAVE AN IDEA!" Scootaloo yells.

"What?" Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle asks.

"One of us should record the other two deal with bullies!" Scootaloo says.

"Ok, but who's gonna record?" Apple Bloom asks.

"I'll record." Sweetie Belle says.

"Perfect! Now tomorrow at school, We start the video!" Scootaloo says, at this point being the Unofficial leader at this point. "Make some ideas, we'll vote on which ones to use and the next day, we start the video!" She continues.

"So, who's gonna be the bully?" Applebloom asks.

"I'll give you a hint, they are one of the main characters of this story!" Scootaloo says, breaking the 4th wall.

The Guide

"Alright, you two ready to see the guide?" Scootaloo asks.

"Yes I am!" Sweetie Belle says.

"Uh-huh! Apple Bloom says as well.

"Then let's see this video!" Scootaloo says.

"Hey everypony it's Apple Bloom!" Apple Bloom says.

"And Scootaloo!" Scootaloo says right after.

"And today we have Ten ways to deal with bullies!" Apple Bloom says, in excitement.

"Number 1: Ignore them!" Scootaloo says.

"Hey fuckfaces, where's your cutie marks blank flanks?" Diamond Tiara says.

"Hey, did you hear about the new student?" Apple Bloom says.

"Yeah, and if I remember correctly, the teacher said his name would be-" Scootaloo says before being kicked by Diamond Tiara.

"STOP IGNORING ME YOU ASSHOLES!" Diamond Tiara says.

"Argh! Stupid floor!" Scootaloo says, before jumping up and down.

"I give up!" Diamond Tiara says, before leaving.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo burst into laughter, before it cuts to where the video started.

"Number 2: Roast Them (the obvious choice)" Scootaloo says. And then the video cuts to another scene.

"Hey idiot, where's your Cutie Mark?" Diamond Tiara says.

"Who you talking to?" Apple Bloom asks.

"You, duh! Nobody else in this room is an idiot!" Diamond Tiara says, clearly confused.

"I thought you were talking to your imaginary friend." Apple Bloom says. "Oh, and i'm more famous then you are."

"Fuck you!" Diamond Tiara says.

"That's disgusting! I'm a filly!" Apple Bloom says, before kicking Diamond Tiara away.

"Number 3: Repeat what they say." Scootaloo says.

"Hey idiot!" Diamond Tiara says.

"Hey idiot!" Scootaloo says.

"Stop that!" Diamond Tiara says.

"Stop that!" Scootaloo says.

"I Suck!" Diamond Tiara says, catching on

"Yeah, you do." Scootaloo says, before walking away.

"Number 4: Agreeing with them." Scootaloo says.

"Hey idiot! You're ugly!" Diamond Tiara says.

"Yeah, I think I put my bow on wrong." Apple Bloom says.

"Hey, you are fat you fucking fatass!" Diamond Tiara says, in a confused tone.

"I guess Applejack was right about not wanting me to go to McDonalds yesterday..." Apple Bloom responds.

"Why the hay are you agreeing with me? I QUIT!" Diamond Tiara says, before leaving.

"Number 5: Drown them with facts." Scootaloo says.

"Hey You! You're a chicken!" Diamond Tiara says

Scootaloo pulls up a picture of a chicken on her iPony 4S.

"This is a chicken and i do not look like a chicken." Scootaloo says.

"Hey idiot! You're a bitch!" Diamond Tiara says.

"A bitch is a female dog." Scootaloo responds. "And sure I am female, but I am a pony, not a dog."

"UGH!!!!" Diamond Tiara says, before running away.

"Hey you! Look at my cheerleader outfit! It's purple!" Diamond Tiara says.

"Did you know royals wore purple because it was hard to get?" Scootaloo asks

"Why thank you! I didn't kn-" Diamond Tiara says, before being cut off by Scootaloo.

"Turns out it was made of snail snot" Scootaloo says, cutting off Diamond Tiara.

"EWW, EWW, EWW, EWW, EWWWWW!!!!!!!!!" Diamond Tiara screams, running off into the distance.

Number 6: Catch on their false reports about you.

"Hey, you! Apple Bloom!" The teacher says.

"What?" Apple Bloom responds.

"Why did you stab Diamond Tiara in the face?" The teacher asks

"Show me." Apple Bloom says.

"See? Look! You stabbed me!" Diamond Tiara says, using her hoof to point at her cheek

"That's marker I got on her by accident, see? Look!" Apple Bloom says, before washing it off with a wet cloth.

"Hey!" Diamond Tiara says, in anger.

"Also she bullies pretty much every day just because my lack of a cutie mark." Apple Bloom adds.

"DETENTION FOR 3 HOURS, DIAMOND TIARA!" The teacher says.

"Number 7: The shoe." Scootaloo says, before grinning.

"Hey retard! You suck!" Diamond Tiara says.

"Don't you bully me..." Scootaloo says.

"Or what? You couldn't do shit with your weak ass hooves!" Diamond Tiara says.

"Well, you asked for it." Scootaloo says, before proceeding to pull out a shoe.

"NO, NOT THE SHOE!!! ANYTHING BUT THE SHOE!!!" Diamond Tiara yells, in horror.

"Omea wa mou shindeiru." Scootaloo says, in an unlikely turn of events.

"Nani?" Diamond Tiara says, before being annihilated by being beat with the shoe.

"Number 8: Outsmart them." Scootaloo says

"Hey LOSER! Get out of my fucking spot! THIS IS MY SPOT!" Diamond Tiara says.

"It's a public place." Apple Bloom says.

"EXACTLY! SO GIVE ME MY SPOT!" Diamond Tiara says.

"Okay, first of all, Public means everyone can be here. Second, i don't see your name on this spot. And finally, you don't make the law." Apple Bloom says, before watching Diamond Tiara leave.

"Number 9: Kill them with kindness." Scootaloo says.

"Hey you! You're so ugly!" Diamond Tiara says.

"And you're so pretty!" Scootaloo says.

"Your main is so ugly!" Diamond Tiara says.

"And yours is so cute!" Scootaloo adds.

"UGHHH!!!!" Diamond Tiara says, before leaving.

"Wow." Scootaloo says.

"Number 10: All out warfare. (I recommend only using in the winter)" Scootaloo says.

"Hey loser! You are an idiot!" Diamond Tiara says, before throwing a rock at Apple Bloom.

"THIS. MEANS. WAR!!!!" Apple Bloom says, before Scootaloo comes along with her.

"A war you want? A war it is then." Diamond Tiara says, before calling in Silver Spoon. "OH SILVER SPOON!!!!"

This battle goes crazy really fast. Apple Bloom throws snowballs everywhere on the enemies and Scootaloo is building the shelter. Same goes with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. And then Diamond Tiara throws a rock, turning this battle into a true war. Apple Bloom is smacking Silver Spoon with sticks while Scootaloo tackles Diamond Tiara. Silver Spoon eventually surrenders, leaving Diamond Tiara outmatched.

"It's all over, Diamond. We've got you outnumbered! Give up!" Apple Bloom says

"NEVER!!!" Diamond Tiara yells, before pelting rocks at them some more. And then, this gets crazier. Apple Bloom is throwing sticks while Scootaloo destroys the enemy base. After 2 hours of what seemed like forever (which was edited to about 5 minutes), Diamond Tiara is finally out of breath. "*huff* *puff* You.... *puff* win..." She says, before falling on the ground.

THE END

"So what did you think of the footage i got?" Sweetie Belle asks the others.

"It... is... PERFECT!" Scootaloo says.

"Yeah! You got all the good parts!" Applebloom adds.

"Really? AWESOME!" Sweetie Belle says.

"Now let's go upload the video!" Scootaloo says, still super happy.

Author's Note

Yes number 10 on the list does take place in the winter. Also, if you want stats of the video and how it went, here is the stats:

TITLE: How To Deal With Bullies
Day of upload: April 2nd 2012
Stats:
April 2nd 2012: 803,598 views. 33,001 likes, 2,593 dislikes, 30,000 comments
April 3rd 2012: 2,076,363 views. 70,000 likes. 6,087 dislikes, 65,701 comments.
April 4th 2012: 3,200,003 views. 109,574 likes, 8,999 dislikes, 100,000 comments.
April 5th 2012: 4,213,039 views. 140,000 likes, 12,794 dislikes, 129,987 comments.
April 6th 2012: 5,086,120 views. 167,921 likes, 15,000 dislikes, 148,029 comments.
April 7th 2012: 5,981,129 views. 180,003 likes, 17,111 dislikes, 160,000 comments.
April 8th 2012: 6,761,192 views. 195,120 likes, 18,039 dislikes, 173,102 comments.
Fast forward to today...
April 30th 2019: 67,611,920 views. 1,951,200 likes, 180,390 dislikes, 1,731,020 comments.

Bye!

Telling them the truth

Author's Note

:moustache: Hey Twilight, look at my mustache!
:facehoof: *facehoof* Spike, why? You look terrible with a mustache!

Telling them the truth

Alright, we just got done with the last shot of Ponyville Confidential, Season 2 episode 23. Now I got to go to the real world to go give the creators a episode to put on TV. But the problem is, I keep being stopped. And by the Cutie Mark Crusaders. I think they want something.

"What do you little fillies want?" I asked

"W-well, y-you know how you f-film us?" Sweetie Belle asks, and judging by the way she asked, this is gonna take a little bit for her to say.

"Yeah?" I respond. But deep down, I know where this is going.

"W-well w-we just wanted t-to know w-" Sweetie Belle says, before being cut off by Apple Bloom.

"Why do you film us?" Apple Bloom says, cutting off Sweetie Belle

"Yeah! And also is Rainbow Dash in that recording?" Scootaloo asks as well.

"W-well... uh....." Oh no, how do I get out of this? I promised Pinkie Pie I would only tell her about the show! I sigh and then respond. "You promise not to tell anyone else besides Pinkie Pie about this?" I say.

"Sure, but why only Pinkie Pie?' Apple Bloom says.

"Because I already told her." I respond

"Oh that makes sense. So why do you record us?"

"Well, the thing is... I am recording you all for a show called 'My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic'." I say. There was a moment of silence before they all ask me the same exact thing.

"How much does the show make?" The three fillies asked.

"I don't know exactly, but I think a lot." I respond.

The three fillies look at each other, with a look I recognize. I proceed to leave Ponyville to go give the footage to the creators of this show.