Cave Inanilogistam

Chapters

Liber Primus: Ambagem Ingentem Advenit
Liber Secundus: Conloquii
Liber Tertius: Quid Est Veritas
Liber Quartus: Somnia Et Paces
Liber Quintus: Deverticulum
Nuntium Pro Liberi: Umbra Et Clavis

Liber Primus: Ambagem Ingentem Advenit

"Spectratricem noctis conlocutioni nostri eam noscere non adproba...si quis eius tenes..."

"Mane! Nondum decede..."

I open my eyes as the first rays of the morning sun stream in through the window. Stretching, I throw off the sheets, but carefully remake the bed before I walk over and peer out the window. What a lovely day it is in Ponyville today! I've always loved the view from this window in the castle. That's probably the Tree's doing.

After admiring the beautiful sunrise over Ponyville for a minute, I sigh contentedly and make my way over to my writing desk. Every morning, I make sure to check my calendar and write out a schedule for the day. That way, I know exactly what I'm supposed to be doing, and the day just goes that much smoother.

Since I've been scheduling every morning since before I can remember, I've gotten rather good at this, and I'm soon done writing. I have to inventory the library in the School of Friendship again, and speaking of the school, I have a few flyers to design for next year's admission season. Rarity and Pinkie already agreed to help me with that particular hurdle, so I bet that will be relatively painless. Next, I've got a second spring cleaning for the castle, and to top it all off, I have to make sure to catch the evening train to Canterlot to make it in time for Luna's Hayley's Comet astronomy party.

That last one catches my eye again...oh, I've been looking forward to that one! Hayley's Comet only appears every hundred years, or every thousand three hundred fifty two point two three moons! Rounded to the nearest hundredth, of course. I'm really jealous that Celestia got to see it more than ten times in her lifetime...but this is the first time Luna's going to see it since her banishment! I can only imagine how excited she'll be--she's the only pony I know who likes astronomy more than me!

But for now, I've got a shower to take, breakfast to eat, and some chores to do. After I make sure to keep a mental picture of the list, I put it down on my desk to check off periodically. Smiling in anticipation, I make my way to the bathroom to take my morning shower. Nothing like a good routine, I always say!

Although I can't help but feel I'm forgetting something...

Five minutes later, newly refreshed, I finish drying my mane and head down to the kitchen. Spike's already there.

"Good morning, Spike!" I call, and he turns around from his sizzling stove. "Hey Twilight!" he responds, before returning his attention to the large pan he has a claw on. "I found this new recipe in Pinkie's cookbook, she let me borrow it for a day." he states, swirling the pan around. "If I had any idea of what it was supposed to make, I'd be the first to tell you, but no dice."

I giggle a little at that. "Well, it seems to smell good, at least. Not like the last thing Pinkie suggested you make."

He shudders. "Don't make me think about that any more than absolutely necessary," he groans, leaving the pan and checking something in the oven. "And by absolutely necessary, I mean never, ever again." Screwing up his face, he continues. "I still can't figure out how it managed to turn my eyes pink."

"Pinkie will forever be an enigma," I say, and Spike nods sagely. "The minute someone says a truer word, I'll eat Applejack's hat," he says, a gravity in his voice, and I giggle again.

We sit in companionable silence until Spike finishes cooking Pinkie's mystery breakfast, which turns out to look something like a cross between a souffle and a cheesecake, but strangely smells more like a blackberry scone. "The recipe was called 'Breakfast Blackberry Buttermilk Antebellum Biscuit,'" Spike says as he cuts two large slices. "The description said it was great for anypony 'with an appreciation for organization.' So," he shrugs, "I figured you'd probably like it."

He watches in trepidation as I take the first bite. Suddenly, my mouth is full of flavor, but in little steps, like a staircase. I taste the earthy sweet flavor of blackberries, and the creamy smooth flavor of the pastry itself. Simple, but beautiful. The honey glaze that Spike was cooking in the pan adds a layer to the taste, a layer that combines with the other ingredients to create a taste that is to the tongue what a Tuscan column is to the eyes...

I open my eyes to see Spike staring at me in disappointment. "You don't like it?" he says.

Not like it? Not...like it? It's like a whole new library opened right next door. It's like a loved one that's been missing for years just came back, and they brought back the lost Inanis Prospariolo. It's like a whole new part of me has just awakened, a part of me that sees food as more than just sustenance...as a work of art in its own right.

I slowly take another bite, savor it, and swallow. "Spike?" I say, and he raises an eyebrow, confused. I, on the other hand, can only wonder why Pinkie hasn't made this already, several times. "Remind me," I calmly say, "remind me to make a copy of this recipe as soon as possible."

He meets my eyes, and a grin spreads across his face. "That good, eh?"

Then he looks down at my plate, and his eyes widen. "Wow. Alright, guess that's my answer. Would you like another slice?" he offers, smirking.

I nod.

Fifteen minutes later, when I've consumed half of the full biscuit and recalled myself from the philosophical debate I had with myself over it, I leave Spike off for the day and head over to the School of Friendship to inventory the library. I've already inventoried the library last week, but it never hurts to double-check. Better be safe than sorry, I always say.

I look at the list in my magic and make my way down through the aisles, checking off each book alphabetically. There's something very relaxing about simple, repetitive tasks like this, where the only thing I'm thinking about is the task at hoof. Call me crazy, but with my frantic thought pace, it's rather nice to take a break from thinking for a while.

Before I know it, I'm already finished, and it looks like all the books are in their proper places, surprisingly enough. I suppose all my reminders got to the students in the end. Either that, I reason, or my neurotic tendencies if things aren't properly organized.

Summoning the day's list out in front of me, I check off the first of my tasks. Then, pausing, I put another box in the list: Remember to thank Pinkie for the recipe.

Speaking of Pinkie, that's my next appointment, and I'm even ahead of schedule a little! I decide to take a relaxing stroll over to Rarity's Boutique, where we'll be designing the flyers. As I leave the school and walk across the stone bridge, I look up and admire how beautiful the day is. There's a few altocirrus clouds in the sky, but I always thought that they added something to the straight blue of the sky beyond. A pleasantly cool breeze wafts by, shaking the leaves of the trees at the edge of the forest.

What a day! There's a joyful feel to the air itself, and I think I might go for a fly.

Landing in front of Rarity's Boutique, I knock lightly on the door. "Oh, Twilight, is that you?" Rarity says through the door, and shortly opens it. "Sorry to keep you waiting, darling, it's just Pinkie's been, er..."

She opens the door further and gestures to the pink pony sitting stock still in the middle of the floor with her eyes closed and her back hooves crossed like a dalai llama. "Well," Rarity says, rolling a hoof, "she's been quiet, for one."

After we stare collectively for a few seconds at the uncharacteristically motionless pony, Rarity adds, "And still. And frankly, darling, I'm not entirely sure whether I should be scared or thankful." She frowns.

I'm about to reply when suddenly Pinkie's eyes fly open, and she fixes her gaze on me, a warm but small smile breaking across her face. "Oh, there you are, Twilight," she says, in a strangely muted tone. "I've been waiting for you to get here, silly!"

I smile, and then remembering the list, I say, "Thanks for waiting, you two. And Pinkie?" she raises an eyebrow. "Thanks for letting Spike have that blackberry biscuit recipe. Why have you never made that before? It was great!"

Pinkie gets a twinkle and a far-off look in her eye. "I never made it before," she starts slowly, "because had I tried to force you to see the light, you would never have seen. It takes one's own eyes to see, and a pony can only open them oneself."

She smiles again at me and Rarity, both of us completely shocked as to Pinkie's demeanor, before suddenly Pinkie appears right between us and hooks a hoof around each of our necks. "Welcome to the club, Twilight!" she says mysteriously, and breaks into a ear-splitting grin.

Just like that, Pinkie is back to...well, her normal, and we spend the next three hours discussing the flyers for the School of Friendship. Rarity, with her knowledge of color theory and art psychology, makes sure that the final flyer is eye-catching, but not bombastic. Pinkie, with her endless enthusiasm and knowledge of what makes other creatures happy, adds the elements of fun to the poster, but yet keeps it professional. And I, with my encyclopedic knowledge of everything school and friendship related, make sure the poster fits the facts but advertises well. Soon enough, we've got a finished prototype flyer, ready for replication and mail delivery to all the cities in Equestria--and beyond.

"Thanks so much, Rarity, Pinkie," I say, looking over the finished product. "I just know this will get everyone interested in the School!"

Rarity flicks her mane. "Darling, it's really the least we can do! After all, it is our school as well."

Pinkie does a happy dance. "A new flyer means new creatures coming to the school! How can I not want to help?"

"Well, I'm happy you two are so enthusiastic!" I say, giving the flyer back to Rarity. "Now, do either of you have plans for lunch?"

They both look sheepish. "Oh, terribly sorry," says Rarity, "but I promised I would help dear Sweetie learn to cook, and even though we're starting off with scrambled eggs, I fear if I leave her unattended..."

Pinkie's smile falls. "And I have a biiiiig order to make up for for the Cakes today!" she explains.

"That's alright," I smile. "I know how it gets."

Rarity thanks me and leaves to stop Sweetie from turning the Carousel Boutique into the Carousel Brulee, but Pinkie leans over and whispers, "Sorry about lunch, but when you see me next, tell me what it tasted like!"

She winks and before I can respond, she's already gone.

Blinking, I shrug. I've seen weirder. Where should I go for lunch?

A few minutes later I'm seated outside at my favorite restaurant, a plate of daffodil sandwich and hayfries just being placed before me. I wonder if the creatures outside of Equestria will like the flyer?

Absently, I pick up a hayfry and chew it slowly, mind still occupied with questions and theories, when an image makes its way into my head. A dark wood crossbeam, stained with smoke, crossing above an old Bitain pub.

I start, and look around me. Nothing unusual seems to be going on, where did that picture come from?

It takes me a minute to put two and two together, and I take another bite of a hayfry. That's it! That's where the image came from! The hayfry's taste!

Somehow.

Intrigued, I pick up the daffodil sandwich and eye it warily, before taking an experimental bite. Immediately, another image comes into my head. A whitewashed wall in a summer garden. Interesting.

I sit back in my chair and try to puzzle out just exactly what's going on. Apparently, I now taste in...pictures? How? Some neural connection manifested itself? Do I have a degenerative brain disease that turns me into a savant but drastically reduces my lifespan? But, I'm an alicorn...how would that work? Actually, back on the topic of my new sensory confusion, what's more important than how is why? Why now? Has someone cast a spell on me in my sleep or something? That's a little concerning.... Wait, Pinkie's stranger than usual behavior today might have something to do with it, she did ask me to tell her what lunch tasted like. And another thing...she did say welcome to the club...does she taste in images too? What implications does that have? Is that why she always makes such great-tasting desserts? Also, how did she know? ...aside from Pinkie Sense. Was she the one who...gave me the ability?? That seems far-fetched. There's only one way to be sure...

In my scheduled free hour for lunch, I make my way over to Sugarcube Corner, and manage to find Pinkie successfully stuffing an enormous chocolate trifle into a hoofbag. She looks over and notices me, and apparently my expression, too, because a mischievous glint comes into her eyes. "So," she leads. "How'd lunch taste?"

"Pinkie," I say, "first of all, if I didn't know you better I'd have thought you drugged my food, at least by your phrasing and tone. But second, what in Equestria is going on? Do you know something I don't?"

"Is that so strange?" Pinkie blinks. "You might be the smartest pony in Ponyville, Twilight, but nopony knows everything, silly."

"That's not it!" I say, stomping a hoof. "How did you know I was going to start tasting in pictures today?" I notice her grin, and frown in reply. "...And don't say Pinkie Sense!"

Pinkie snaps her mouth shut, but raises an eyebrow. "What kind of pictures?"

"What?"

"What kind of pictures do you taste in?" Pinkie says, genuinely curious.

"Uh," I scrunch up my nose, "well, a...crossbeam, and a whitewashed wall."

"What about the Breakfast Blackberry Buttermilk Antebellum Biscuit?" she asks. "Did you see anything when you ate that?"

I think about it for a minute. "Actually, now that you mention it, yes I did," I say slowly. "I think it was a...Tuscan column."

"Whoa!" Pinkie's eyes are open as far as they can go. "That's so cool!"

"But you're still not telling me anything!" I scowl. "Why do you want to know?"

She zips the hoofbag closed. "Twilight, you know all about the theory of ambient magic, right?"

I nod, confused. "Yes, but that theory was disproven five hundred years ago by Clear Head when she discovered that the only sources of magic were living biological organisms. What does that have to do with anything?"

"Well...that's true," Pinkie says, "but what about chaos magic?"

I mull her words over for a minute, and suddenly I realize. The only source of chaos magic anypony has ever discovered was Discord...who, at the time of the disproving of that theory, had already been encased in stone for half a millenium. Not to mention that no reliable method of identifying chaos magic has been developed yet in the few years since he returned.... There's no telling where chaos magic might be hiding, nopony's ever looked for it. Like dark matter or something.

"Sweet Celestia, Pinkie," I say. "...that's a good point."

"My guess," says Pinkie, "is that there's a bit of chaos magic in everypony, and just about anything. But it's all sleeping, of course! And," she continues, "it's really tricky to get it to wake up! Although, I wonder why Discord hasn't said anything about it."

Dormant chaos magic? ...That would explain a lot about Pinkie... "But how does that relate to tasting images?"

"It means you're starting to use your innate chaos magic!" Pinkie explains. "See, I taste in colors! You, on the other hoof, taste in architecture."

What? "How can you tell?"

"It's what all three of your examples have in common," she reasons.

Fair enough, I guess. I think about that for a while, before my eyes widen in realization. "Wait. Pinkie, about the chaos magic...is that what you meant about making me see the light, and how I can only open my eyes myself?"

Pinkie nods vigorously. "Yep! And that biscuit was specifically designed to help, but only when pure random chance decided to bring it to you!" She pushes the hoofbag into my hooves. "Try the trifle next!"

Setting the bag down, I put a hoof to my temple. "Thanks, Pinkie, but right now I think I need to lie down."

Once I get back to the Castle, I sink into a chair and put my head in my hooves. What in Equestria is going on? I don't have any literature on chaos magic, I always thought it was a waste of time trying to understand, and besides, nopony ever researched it in the first place. But how could Pinkie be right? Sure, I get a picture in my head when I eat something, but, but that was only three times! Correlation is not causation!

Groaning, I slump backwards. There's only one way I'm going to be able to get any answers, but I'm not too enthusiastic about it.... I sigh. Might as well get it over with.

"Discord?" I call. "Discord! Get over here!"

A familiar scratchy voice comes from behind me. "Oh! Twilight, I was just investigating a volcano in the Dragonlands, but I came as quickly as I could--you see, my ears were burning!!"

He grabs a fire extinguisher to put them out, but I sigh again and reluctantly say, "Discord, I need your help."

He pauses, and stares at me incredulously. "Really." Snapping his fingers, he pulls up a large chesterfield and dons a suit and tie, and uses a cloth to absently polish his glasses. "Now, if I know you, Twilight Sparkle, this is a rather unexpected turn of events. Tell me, is it opposite day today?"

"No, it's not, Discord," I say. "I need you to tell me whether Pinkie's theory of ambient chaos magic is true or not."

"What's that?" Discord says, filing his nails. "And you are right, it's never opposite day, especially on opposite day itself."

I ignore his last comment, and continue the train of the conversation. "That there's a little bit of dormant chaos magic inside every living creature, but it's really hard to activate, but once you activate it, you can bend the laws of reality?"

Discord's eyes pop out of his head, and he scrambles on the floor to get them back. "What? Pinkie thinks that?"

I nod, and Discord chuckles. "No, no, heavens no. Although that would be an interesting theory to see play out...I can imagine it now," he says, waving his hands and manifesting a moving picture into the room. "A society broken and battered, led by the tyrannical Chaos Lords, who use the magic to enforce their rule in the most wacky and hilarious way possible." The picture switches to different scenes. "But one Chaos Lord rebels and sees the power of friendship as greater than its opposite, and after finding the love of his life, he, her, and a group of six skilled warriors take down the despotic government and become benevolent leaders of the new society!" He puts an arm on my shoulder and pulls me up beside him. "It would be called, Chaos Crusade: Discord and Rhyme. What do you think?"

"Sounds...interesting, Discord," I admit, "but does that mean that there's no such thing as ambient chaos magic?"

"Of course not!" says Discord, waving a claw. "Nopony's ever had chaos magic! It's very xenophobic, you see. Doesn't like organisms based on Harmony." He then pauses. "Actually, that's not entirely true. Not everypony lacks chaos magic. But, then again, they're special cases..."

Interesting. "Well, what in Equestria could make these things possible, if her theory isn't really correct?"

"What things?" Discord returns to filing his nails, albeit with more curiosity this time.

I explain the situation, including Pinkie's strange behavior, Discord looking more and more puzzled the farther I get in the narrative. "Well now, that's just odd," he mumbles, before starting and speaking up, "and for me that's high praise!" He pulls out a massive magnifying glass and peers at me through it. "I don't sense any chaos magic in your...signature..." Trailing off, his eyes grow wide. "Bear with me, Twilight."

He pulls a microscope out of his ear and, with a snap of his fingers, I'm shrunk down onto the stage underneath the lenses. "Discord, what's going on?" I ask, somewhat irritated, but he simply shushes me and puts his eye to the objective.

It's a tense few moments before he snaps his fingers again and everything is back to normal, aside from his newly acquired lab coat and stethoscope. "Well, Twilight," he begins, flipping through a clipboard, "I've got some good news and some bad news. Would you care to choose which you'd rather hear first?"

"Bad news, please," I say, "get to the point."

"Well, unfortunately, the good news explains the bad news, so I'll have to tell you that first," he says, chewing on the end of his pen. "The good news is, your unmistakably confusing taste symptoms have a very definite and explainable origin that is not, as Pinkie thought, chaos magic. My personal theory," he continues, polishing his glasses, "actually, is Pinkie was able to sense something magically strange about to happen--through her previously encountered Pinkie Sense--and misinterpreted 'strange' as 'chaotic.' The truth," he put down the clipboard and glasses on the medical gurney beside him, "is where the bad news comes in."

After a pause, I prompt, "So...?"

He jumps, apparently snapping out of a reverie. "Ah. Well, dear Twilight Sparkle, I know exactly what the cause of your strange and frankly nonsensical ability is. Unfortunately, I have no idea why. See," he pauses and frowns. "I really don't know how to explain this--but everything points to it being caused by a form of magic I have only seen occasionally, even in my long and admittedly eclectic years."

There is a long, awkward silence, before I finally ask, "Are you pulling my leg, Discord?"

"No," he replies, utterly and uncharacteristically seriously. "If I was doing so, I would have pulled it already to set up a boisterous and most likely disrespectful visual gag. You know me." He hums in thought and taps a claw on his clipboard. "Anyway, enough suspense, it appears that somehow you've acquired a small amount of dream magic."

When I just stare at him blankly, he nods, still frowning. "Exactly. I almost couldn't believe it myself. Nopony other than Luna herself has ever been known to use dream magic, according to Celestia." He shrugs. "Of course, I wouldn't know, I was banished even longer than Miss Moon Mare was."

"Wait, wait." I put a hoof to my head again--I seem to be doing that a lot recently--and continue. "You're telling me that I not only have a new type of magic, but that it's not chaos magic, that it actually is a more rare and unusual type of magic that only one pony in all of Equestrian history has ever been known to use, and somehow this same magic is amounting to little more than making me taste in architecture?"

"That is correct!" Discord says, throwing his hands in the air, streamers and confetti raining down from everywhere. "Congratulations, Twilight, you've just won the award for the most absurd real-life scenario that I personally have never instigated before!" With a flourish of trumpets, he bestows the corresponding ribbon upon my chest. "Consider me impressed! All jokes aside," he cleans up the confetti with a snap, "I legitimately have no possible clue as to how this happened. Dream magic is a very mysterious thing." He cocks his head to the side and raises an eyebrow. "Actually, come to think of it...have you been sleeping with Luna recently?"

As my mind tries to analyze that statement, it fails spectacularly, and after running through some data recovery scenarios it settles for the less-than-graceful failure of "W-wha? B--No! No, no!" If my face was any redder, I'd bet it'd be classified as an exotic bird. "Discord, what? I, I'm...No!"

He looks confused, and then his eyes widen and he waves his arms wildly. "No, no, of course I didn't mean to imply...er, that, of course not! I meant to say you could have absorbed some residual dream magic if you've been in..." He frowns, and gives a mirthless chuckle. "well, I was going to say 'close contact' but now that seems like a bad idea."

"No!" I clear my throat, trying to simultaneously clear some images out of my head. "No, actually, Luna very rarely visits Ponyville. Most of the time, she's too busy guarding the Dream Realm to go anywhere." I take Discord pouring a bottle of bleach into his open head as an invitation to remove the excessively wordy award ribbon from my chest, setting it on the floor.

"Well, have you been dreaming of her lately?" Discord says, and then seeing my renewed expression, slaps a paw over his face. "Forgive me Twilight. I swear, I am not trying to make this any more embarrassing than it already is."

I cough several times. "No, no, I understand. And no, I haven't been having nightmares recently, so Luna has no reason to stop by." Something from the back of my mind nags me, though... "At least, I think I haven't been having nightmares."

"Regardless," says Discord, waving away his own embarrassment, "You need to talk with Luna at the soonest possible time. This new magic of yours is too strange to not bring to her attention."

"I agree," I agree, and then I remember my checklist for the day. "Oh! Tonight, Luna's having a Hayley's Comet astronomy party! It's on my schedule!" Summoning the list, I frown when I reach the unchecked mark for 'clean castle.' "Can't be helped," I mutter to myself, before speaking to Discord. "The train leaves in...fifteen minutes. Oh no!" I gasp. "I still need to pack! I don't remember where Spike took my telescope, and I need all my books I want Luna to sign, and the constellation charts--"

"Twilight Sparkle," Discord says, laying a paw on my shoulder. "I do hate to say it, but please calm yourself. I'll take care of everything." With a snap of his fingers, we're at the train station, everything I had planned to bring piled neatly by our side. "There." He lets out a long breath. "My. I haven't done anything orderly in...well, I don't really care to remember."

I stare at the baggage in shock, then pick it up in my magic. "Thanks," I say genuinely, if a little bewilderedly, to which Discord graciously bows his head. Blinking, I give Discord a curious look. "Well, uh, what makes you so eager to be orderly now?"

He looks up from apparently being lost in thought. "Hm? Oh! That's easy. This is quite easily one of the most nonsensical events I've ever had the pleasure to be a part of, and I fully intend to see it through to the end. The chaos is delicious!" He rubs his hands together.

Typical. "Why aren't you just teleporting us straight to Canterlot? You hate trains." I say, puzzled.

"Au contraire, my dear Twilight," he says, reclining in a chair that wasn't there before. "I adore trains. I simply don't like how they go from one place to another."

"They say," he summons a piece of paper and a marker, drawing a line, "that the shortest distance from one point to another is a straight line. Others say," he folds the paper and punches a hole in it with a claw, "the shortest distance is travelling directly from one point to the other with nothing in between. Unfortunately," he eats the paper and picks at his teeth with a claw, "They're missing the point. Why bother folding spacetime at all?"

"As for why I'm not teleporting us straight to Canterlot, well..." he scratches the back of his neck. "Let's just say the Sisters and I had a little...disagreement the last time I used my powers there, and I'd rather be safe than sorry, as it were. Oh, you wouldn't have heard of it yet," he says in response to my questioning glance. "In light of our continued friendship and my continued animation, I swore not to use my powers inside the city walls. They made me sign a waiver, and they anticipated all my loopholes, too, which is a crying shame." he growls. "But they had to give me something in return for the contract to be made, so I made sure I'd be getting a fair deal..." he trailed off, staring into the distance.

"What did you ask for?" I finally ask, intrigued.

There's a long pause. Discord seems to think my words over in his head for a while.

"A glimpse," he says, finally, absently. "A chance to see the future."

Both of us fall silent at that. He's still staring at nothing in particular, lost in thought. That's pretty unusual for Discord. But a glimpse of the future? I've heard that Celestia and Luna get the occasional vision in times of stress, but do they have the power to look into the future? They combined must have more than enough magic to do some world-bending spells...it's got to be a possibility. But in that eventuality, what did Discord see? Did he see anything? He must have, he's too quiet to assume anything else. He's got to have seen something, something important--or dangerous. I'm bursting with curiosity, but I'm...I'm worried about what I might hear if I ask.... So I just keep my peace and don't bother his thoughts.

The train pulls up behind the station, and Discord looks up. "Come to think of it, hold a second," he says, looking at a watch he didn't have before. "This has been going on for far too long."

What? "What's going on, Discord?"

"Nothing that should concern you," he mutters, "but this has been a long day. Perhaps once on the train, we should break until evening."

"Sounds good to me," I say, shrugging and picking up the pile of astronomy-related paraphernalia. Discord will be Discord.

Discord brings his talon up, grinning. "Aaaaaaaaaaannnnd break!"

Author's Note

"Spectratricem noctis conlocutioni nostri eam noscere non adproba...si quis eius tenes..."

"Mane! Nondum decede..."

"The apparition of the night must not be allowed to learn of our parley...if anyone could comprehend, she could..."

"Wait! Don't go..."

Liber Secundus: Conloquii

"Non audet! Sui videre non adprobat! Phantasum obsecro, aliquis paenitebis non audet..."

"Non scio, quod est? Quare me scit? Meum respondere!"

"Tempum polum habo.... Si non aliquis tenes, me tenere. Nomen mei...Morpheme est."

I jerk awake when I hear an enormous crashing noise and the sound of metal grinding and buckling. Immediately running through a number of emergency contingency plans, I light up my horn and prepare to teleport outside the train with the rest of the car's occupants...only to groan and let my magic fade down when I see Discord's mismatched arms holding a set of cymbals inches away from my muzzle.

"Discord, you almost gave me a heart attack!" I growl, "I thought the train was crashing!"

"I know, don't you like them?" Discord says, waving his cymbals around. "They're enchanted to make any sound the user wants! See here," he claps them together and a soft rushing of water like a wave on the beach emanates from them. "Isn't that incredible? And about the heart attack," he continues, smiling good-naturedly. "Your long years of panic-induced hyperventilation and adrenaline rushes have left you with the strongest heart I've seen in years! Your circulatory system is in no danger whatsoever." He winks. "Good job keeping it so healthy. What's your secret? ...Getting hot and bothered by anything outside your rigid organization systems?"

I scowl. "No, actually, I take Tai Chi. And, you, Discord, I am sorely tempted to not allow you to come with me."

"Good choice, although I do like Zui Quan better. Did you even allow me in the first place?" he counters, playing his cymbals to a woodpecker's rattling. "And what makes you think you could stop me coming with you?"

Shoot, that's a good point, uh... "By boring you to death with technical details!" I say, in a flash of inspiration. "Did you know the wheel chassis underneath the train is called a bogie? Bogies are usually placed on a swivel to facilitate turning the train car, but on cargo trucks they are most often fixed. While most bogies have two axles to simplify design, bogies with up to five axles--"

"Are made for cars designed for heavier loads," Discord finishes, a small slab of what looks like onyx in his claw. It's giving off a faint blue light, which shines into his face. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were just reading off of the Wikipedia page."

I raise my eyebrows. "What kind of reference is that?"

He ignores me. "Twilight," he says, putting the slab into his pocket, "I think as a friend I can speak honestly. I absolutely hate when you call yourself boring. It is a lie, clean and simple." Placing his paw over his heart, he nods sagely. "You are one of the least boring ponies I have ever had the pleasure to meet."

I blink. "Wow, uh...thanks, Discord, that's really--"

"For you, at least in the academic side of things, a more appropriate adjective would be...say, obsessed, or perhaps...overenthusiastic..." He waves his claw. "Single-minded?"

"...that's really kind of almost nice of you," I mutter, but I'm saved from having to deal with his list lengthening any more by the conductor shouting for Canterlot station.

Before we get to the station however, Discord suddenly jumps. "Ah, drat," he mutters, and starts snapping his fingers rapidly, summoning all sorts of random objects and stuffing them in a backpack. "Can't use my powers inside the city walls."

Oh yeah, he said something about that earlier...I don't know how else to ask, but...

I scratch a hoof on the floor. "Discord?"

"Hmm?" He pauses in the middle of stuffing an entire double bass into his backpack. "You say something, Twilight? What is on your mind now? I'm sure even I couldn't predict that half the time!" He chuckles, leaning on a claw. "Do you have something to ask?"

"I was just, um, wondering, by..." I grimace, "by what you meant by a 'glimpse of the future.'"

Discord's eyebrows go up slightly. "Exactly that, young Twilight. I was granted a glimpse of the future. But of course," he abandons the half-subsumed bass for a minute to snap his fingers, "one can't just look at the future and be certain of the path it will take. It's more of a Heisenberg principle. You can measure the future's magnitude, but not its direction," he says, spinning a ball on his talon and poking it with a paw, causing it to roll onto the floor, "or its direction, but not its magnitude. And of course, observing it causes it to change. I could have seen one of quintillions of different probable futures, all equally likely, and all just as predictable as the others."

I frown, thinking to myself. "Well, what good does that do? Sounds like you got a bad deal."

"Ah, well lucky for me that wasn't the case," Discord says, putting a paw on the neck of the bass and shoving it gently into the bag. "I said I could have, not that I did." He gestures broadly. "Instead of one of the seemingly infinite possible futures, I saw one that not only was improbable, but impossible. How delightful for me, how delightful indeed..." He trails off, his eyes glazed.

I'm about to say something when he shakes his head. "Anyway, the mere existence of an impossible future is enough to make my wager worth it. I will abide by Celestia and Luna's demands, regardless of how much I loathe restrictions, because although I may be Chaos, I will at least be fair when I make a deal. I'm not Tirek, for crying out loud."

He shrugs, winks at me, and sits down to finish his backpack preparations, leaving me to ponder that for a few minutes.

Once he's finished packing up everything--including the kitchen sink--that he could possibly need, he slips the backpack on.

"Well, Twilight?" he asks as the train pulls up to the platform. "You ready to solve a dream magic mystery?"

"I guess," I reply, picking up my gear. "As ready as I'll ever be."

It takes us a quarter of an hour to get up to the Canterlot Gardens, fortunately, that's not particularly late for the 6:00 schedule. Discord, of course, sings his heart out the entire way, something about a tree and a valley or something. Everypony gives us a wide berth and some dirty looks, and I finally get annoyed enough to ask, "Discord? Can you quiet down a little?"

"...and the tree in the bog and the bog down--hm? Oh, of course, Twilight! All you had to do was ask!" he chuckles. "Sorry if I was bothering you. Although," he scratches his goatee, "given another hour, I could probably make it up the the legendary ten elephants. I've only ever gotten to three."

"Three is quite enough, thank you," I grimace.

Discord ignores my comment. "I always find that when I am forced to walk, singing helps pass the time a little faster. And what do you know--it did! Hello Luna! You're looking well today!" The last part Discord addresses towards the addressed alicorn at the gate to the gardens, who gives a strained smile. "Ah...Discord! A pleasure to see you again...so soon."

Discord grimaces, but raises all three of his hands, his wings, his ears, his horn, and his snaggletooth, saying, "As you and your sister desired, I shall not use my chaos magic within the boundaries of Canterlot for the affectation of anything or anycreature in any manner save on myself to facilitate my continued existence on this plane. And don't worry," he adds patiently when he sees Luna's expression is still suspicious. "I've memorized the fine print, as well. If I may, you've done a wonderful job eliminating any theoretical loopholes in the wording of the contract." He nods his head in honest admiration. "Celestia has a lot of experience drawing up contracts, I presume."

Luna blinks, clearly taken aback at Discord's...well, for lack of a better word, maturity at the moment. "I suppose so."

Discord smiles, then grins, winking. "And though you may have about a thousand years less practice, you're no slouch in the way of lexical language either."

Both Luna and I really don't know how to react to this. It's so...weird seeing Discord act with something akin to respect...

Finally, Luna clears her throat, saying, "Oh, well, I.... Thank you...? I suppose?" She gives Discord a confused but somewhat genuine smile, to which he thanks her.

She then turns to me, and smiles more warmly. "Ah, Twilight! I'm delighted to see you joining the Astronomy Party! We've been planning yonder event for a long--" she coughs. "Excuse me, it resurfaces every once in a while. It's nice to see you again, Twilight, regardless."

I bow. "Thank you, Luna! I'm looking forward to seeing Hayley's Comet with the first pony to research it!"

Luna blushes softly. "Er, thank you. I'm glad you share my enthusiasm for the night sky. Actually, come to speak of it, more ponies have already arrived than I had originally expected." She gestures around the gardens to the sea of blankets and picnic tables set up on the flagstones and grass between the statues. Ponies mill around, walking between telescopes, holding binoculars to their eyes, or pore over charts and point upwards. There must be at least two hundred fifty ponies in total around the garden.

I was hoping a lot of ponies came by, but this is even better! Canterlot, although big, only has so many astronomers. It's nice to see so many ordinary ponies taking an interest in something they've never done before. Well, I suppose it so happens they get to spend the night stargazing with a Princess, but even so...Luna never had the same support that Celestia does, it's just a common logistic of change that most ponies want to stick with the established routine. With the amount of ponies here, though, I think that gap in support is definitely getting smaller.

Turning to her, I smile. "Wow! That's great, Princess!" I say, before remembering I have wings now. "Er, Luna!"

"Did you just forget you're royalty as well?" Discord asks, eyebrow raised. "Really, Twilight, it's been years, and I am still amazed by the juxtaposition of your immense intelligence and your often crippling absent-mindedness. But that's besides the point," he says, ignoring my dirty look. "We have another reason why we're here, remember?"

"Oh, yeah." I look around. "Pr--Luna. You aren't, ah...terribly busy at the moment, are you?"

She shakes her head. "Not to my knowledge, no. Ponies have already been thanking me for organizing the event, and although I'm sure some of them may have questions or boons to ask of me, I should be able to temporarily abscond without much issue. Is something terribly the matter?"

"Well..." I roll my hoof a little. "I don't know? I don't think so, but, uh...is there someplace more secluded we could go to talk about this?"

Luna nods, looking serious. "Of course. The garden maze will suffice perfectly."

A short teleportation later, and the three of us are in the center of the hedge maze. Luna wastes no time in looking at me expectantly. "Now," she begins, "since you desire this to be a private matter and what is more, you have none other than Discord of all abominations against nature with you," to which Discord smiles and thanks her, "this must be a matter of grave and/or strange consequences." A serious expression spreads across her muzzle. "But I am ready. Hit me. Not literally, of course," she clarifies, "it is a figure of speech. I think. Modern slang is something I still have not wrapped my head around."

I glance at Discord, who shrugs. How do I begin? "Well...have you noticed anything...unusual happening in the Dream Realm recently?"

Luna nods, an eyebrow raised. "As a matter of fact, yes, I have. I have been occupied these last few nights tracking a particularly elusive magic signature...one that has led me to believe only one thing can possibly explain its existence."

"What's that?" Discord prompts, pulling a notepad and a cliche reporter's fedora out of his pack.

Luna pauses for effect. She always had a flair. "Something has happened that has not happened in all my years, so unprecedented it may pose a deep risk to the Dream Realm." She fixes us with a gaze of steel. "There is another pony who has developed the ability to harness and use dream magic."

Discord and I stare at her blankly. "Really?" Discord says, drawing out the word in disbelief, then slowly shifting his gaze to me. "Isn't that just the strangest thing you've ever heard?

Luna narrows her eyes at him, but turns back to me. "It is a terrible portent of what may begin to occur. But how did you know of this newfound fluctuation in the natural order of dreams? Do you, perchance, have any information about this pony? Any tips, say, or any clues? Any...tea to spill?" She frowns. "Personally I find that quite wasteful. Especially if it is that delicious Pu-erh tea my sister imports and serves in those small teapots. Or jasmine scented. Or dragon pearls. Speaking of which," she turns to us, "could I interest you in a cup of tea? I'm sure Celestia would be delighted if I took the opportunity to share some of her favorites with her...her dear friends," she says, shooting Discord a short glance before looking a little bit guilty.

"Oh, yes please," I say, always willing to have a cup of tea, and Discord shrugs, nodding. "If you'd be so kind?"

Luna smiles and with a flash, a teaset has materialized between the three of us. "I don't suppose you're familiar with Pu-erh?"

"Actually, I am, at least," I rub my muzzle sheepishly, "at least in the academic sense. I've never actually tried it."

Discord lifts up his slightly steaming cup, which looks minuscule in his talons. "Brings a whole new meaning to teacakes, doesn't it?"

Luna raises an eyebrow, but then gets the reference, and giggles a little. Giggles. A little. I absently take a sip of my tea.

Immediately I find myself standing in a well-raked Zen garden, a grove of orange trees around me, leaves floating down in the slight breeze in almost slow motion. In front of me, at the edge of the sand, is a small, ornately carved wooden shrine, a few lit candles scattered across its flat altar surface. Incense wafts through the air, swirling around the simplistic but exquisite beauty of the garden, each rock and ridge of sand perfectly in tune with its surroundings.

I blink rapidly to find both Discord and Luna staring at me. Discord with an expression of interest, and Luna with one of concern. "Huh? Oh." I shake my head, putting my cup down for now. "Luna, you were saying something about somepony and dream magic, right?"

"I was, wasn't I? Oh yes, before I was so neatly distracted by the tea," she nods to herself. "Yes. I was asking if you two have any information, as you seemed to know about it already. Is that why you needed to talk to me?" Luna takes a sip of her tea. "Do you know anything useful?"

"Uh, no, er, maybe...actually." I say, struggling to get my thoughts back in order. "Well, huh. How do I explain this?" Taking a deep breath, I steel my nerves. "That pony with the ability to harness dream magic? That's, um, that's me."

This time it's Luna's turn to stare blankly. "You...you are joking, correct? This is a joke of Discord's, is it not?" She looks between our two deadpan expressions. "Sweet heavens above, you are serious..." Shocked, she continues. "This cannot possibly be...hmmm." Her eyes light up, she's obviously remembered something. "How do you know?"

"Discord can sense the magic of other creatures," I say, "and he's pretty convinced. Besides, some weird things have been happening to me lately."

Discord pulls a magnifying glass out of his backpack. "Here. This one's been enchanted so you can see magical signatures." He hands it to her, and she picks it up in her magic. "It would work better if you didn't surround it with magic of your own," he says in exasperation, and in response Luna shifts it to her hoof and peers at me through it.

Giving it back, she asks, "What sort of, as you put it, weird things?"

"Well, for one, I've been having images pop into my head whenever I eat, each particular flavor, or combination of, I think, affecting how the image looks, and, um, it usually represents an architectural element?"

To my utmost surprise and astonishment, Luna nods slowly, and mutters, "Yes, yes, how queer indeed. That might be..." She stops suddenly, obviously realizing something, and glances at my cup of tea. "You...did this happen to you with the tea?"

I nod, and she hums softly to herself. "If I could be so forward, what was the...the image you received?" I awkwardly explain the Zen garden to her. She smiles. "It is good tea, is it not?"

Discord looks back from where he's been covertly pouring himself another cup to find us both staring at him, and he nearly drops both the cup and the teapot in surprise. Fumbling to catch them before they fall, he quickly sets the teapot back down and tries much too hard to take a normal sip of his tea. "I...quite agree."

Luna and I can't help but crack a smile at his antics.

Finally, Luna lights up her horn and closes her eyes. After a minute or two, she stops, and speaks up. "I don't want to believe it," she says ponderously, "but the facts all add up. Twilight, it appears you really do have a small amount of dream magic."

Discord looks over at me and smirks. "There, I'm not pulling your leg. Happy now?"

"Hey, I never said I doubted you!" I protest. I was just thinking it.

"No, but you were thinking it," he counters smugly. Drat!

"This is exceedingly strange," Luna continues, oblivious to our bickering. "In all my years, and Celestia's as well, we have never encountered another pony who could use dream magic. This is--this is unprecedented. And that you, of all ponies? I guess, in one sense, I'm not truly surprised...you are the Element of Magic, after all." She waves a hoof. "And I suppose it is better to have this happen to a pony I know rather than a stranger."

"Actually, Luna," I add, "I hate to interrupt, but I was going to ask. How does tasting in architecture point to having dream magic?"

"Well, dream magic is directly associated with emotions and experiences," Luna explains, smiling slightly, "especially those of the more primal senses such as taste and smell. Since these are more closely tied with the subconscious, uncontrolled dream magic more easily finds a way to manifest through these senses." She gazes into thin air. "I remember just after I got my cutie mark, I was always smelling in poetry. I believe you can still find the Violet Sonnets collection in the Canterlot Archives."

"Oh. Well, that would explain it," I say, still flabbergasted even at this logical and reasonable--at least I think--explanation.

Luna turns to me again. "May I ask another question of you?" When I nod, she continues. "When, and how, do you recall obtaining these connections with dream magic?"

I rub the back of my neck. Discord takes the opportunity to speak up from his second refill. "Actually, to my knowledge, she didn't know at all until I had to figure it out for her. I don't blame her, of course," he says, a paw on his chest, "it's a rather obscure and specific branch of magic."

I glare at him, but concede his point. "He's right, Luna, I didn't realize I had it until this afternoon, and I only started having the, well I guess the early symptoms this morning."

"Hmm. No encounters with dream demons?" I shake my head. "No dreams or nightmares of an overly prophetic nature?" I shake my head slowly, and say, "I don't think so. I haven't really been remembering my dreams all that well recently."

Luna looks puzzled. "A circumstance worth considering, I suppose...As for me, I can tell you that I first noticed the magical signature three nights ago as of tonight."

"Regardless of the circumstances of your obtaining dream magic," she narrows her eyes, more in puzzlement than in suspicion, "which I will be investigating, I think," she says with a pause, "I think this could be considered a blessing." Her eyes suddenly go wide and she smiles wider than I've ever seen her smile before. "Yes! A blessing. Think about it, Twilight. You have dream magic."

I'm puzzled. "Yeah, what about...it..."

OH.

I have dream magic. Doesn't that mean I can do dream stuff? Visit ponies in dreams? Fight nightmares?

Wait! I don't know how to do any of that, though. How would I--wait...

I look over at Luna, who's still smiling like a madmare. Confronted with what Luna seems to be implying, my brain has to simplify the information as much as possible to avoid overload.

Twilight + dream magic + not knowing how + Luna knowing = Luna teaching Twilight how.

"W--WHAT? What! W-w-wait, what?" I say, still unable to process. "Are you saying...?"

Luna practically prances in place. "Yes! I can teach you how to use dream magic! Oh, this will be so much fun!"

"Oh...my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh oh my goshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!" This is so amazing! Not only do I get to learn a type of magic literally NONPONY except for Luna knows, but I get to learn it DIRECTLY from her, and, and...and I just can't believe it! This is so great! ...I think I might be hyperventilating. How do I stop?

After breathing heavily into the paper bag Discord provided, I think I've calmed down enough to speak intelligently. "Buh, wha? Y--You, really, wha?" Apparently, I was wrong.

Luna grins. "I think this will be an excellent choice for growth for both of us. You, for doing what you do best, and me, for following in my sister's hoofsteps and becoming a teacher and mentor."

Reclining in a folding beach chair he'd unpacked, Discord speaks up. "And me, as well. I can already see the delicious chaos that will inevitably arise from putting Twilight in charge of others' dreams. Just try not to alphabetize their subconsciousnesses while you're at it!" he chuckles, before taking another sip out of his cup. "Good lord, this is good tea."

Rolling her eyes at him, Luna continues the train of the conversation. "What do you say, Twilight, would you like me to teach you how to use your newly acquired dream magic for the betterment of and protection of our subjects?"

I sputter for a few seconds, before I finally work up the fine motor control to say "Would I? Of course, Luna!"

"Then it is settled!" Luna says with another grin. "Although tonight will be too busy, perhaps we could..." but she trails off with a frown. "Hmm. You are needed in Ponyville, are you not?" I nod sadly, and she sighs. "Well, that does put a damper in our plans..."

Discord makes strong eye contact with her, and starts gesticulating, trying to convey a point.

She seems to debate with herself in her head for a while, before her eyes finally fall on Discord. Tilting her head slightly, she stares at him in bewilderment.

Sleep? Distance? I don't know? I don't care! Uh...

Luna gets it at the same time I do. She groans and slowly puts a hoof to her face. "Ah yes. Thank you Discord. Twilight, I had forgotten. Dream magic happens in dreams." Her hoof slowly slides off her face in her exasperation. "Therefore, it does not matter if I am in Canterlot and you are in Ponyville, as long as we are both asleep."

Chuckling, Discord says, "Keep this up, Luna, and you'll be more absent-minded than little Miss Purple Smart here."

I take offense to that."Hey! Discord..."

He shrugs. "What? Everyone calls you that!"

I mean, I was offended by the claim of absent-mindedness, but I guess I can complain about that too. Scowling, I counter: "I have literally never heard anypony call me that before."

"I didn't say everypony..." he mutters.

"Enough!" Luna says. "Thank you for accepting my tutelage, Twilight. But I think for tonight?" she smiles. "We should enjoy the party, and worry about what comes tomorrow tomorrow."

"Great idea, Luna." I glance upwards, where Hayley's Comet can be seen bright against the night sky. "I wouldn't want to miss the comet tonight."

"And you've barely touched your tea," Luna says, looking down into my cup, before her eyes widen. Turning to Discord, she finds him sipping at his tea...which come to think of it, he seems to have had a lot of... "Discord."

Discord coughs mid-sip, and guiltily pours me another cup out of the second teapot Luna brought.

"I hope you don't take offense to me not drinking this too much," I say, ears drooping. "I'd rather see the night sky when I'm trying to stargaze than a Zen garden."

"That would be strange, wouldn't it," Luna agrees. "Besides, it will be all the more for Discord."

Discord rolls his eyes, but raises the cup to his lips again. "I've really got to tell Fluttershy about this stuff."

After the party finishes at approximately 2 AM, me and Discord head back to the train to Ponyville. Luna walks over to the two of us and smiles. "I'll be seeing you tomorrow night, Twilight," she says, "I'm looking forward to discussing the fundamentals of dream magic with you this coming evening."

"I'm just excited I get to spend the night with you!" I say, prancin--no, not prancing. Not at all. "Although, I'm not sure I'll be getting any sleep..." I'll be too excited about dream magic that I won't be able to sleep, and then I won't dream, and...

"...Why are you looking at me like that?" I ask Discord, who's looking incredulously at me over a pair of sunglasses. He just points at Luna. What's wrong? Oh, she looks a little warm. Must be the...no, it's cool out. Does she have a fever?

"Twilight, ah, that phrasing," she coughs, "I know what you...well, you, you do know..."

I'm confused. What's going on? Why is Luna suddenly having a hard time speaking? Is she having a stroke? She looks feverish, her words are coming out stutteringly. One side of her face is twitching! But it's twitching up, not drooping...

I raise my eyebrows. "Luna, are you alright? Can you feel your left forehoof?"

She coughs again, and after looking at me and my confused expression, she smiles, and a glint comes into her eye. "Don't worry on my behalf, Twilight. I'm quite well." She gives Discord a side glance, and he grimaces, waving a paw. "I for one am happy you enjoy my presence so much. I do hope our session will leave you...satisfied." Luna smiles again.

Discord just puts his hand to his forehead and stares blankly ahead.

Regardless of Discord's strange reaction, I nod excitedly. "There's so much to learn! Thank you again for agreeing to teach me!"

Discord doesn't change his expression at all, he just turns to face Luna, whose face is still red, but this time, it looks like she's holding her breath. Finally, she lets out a breath, and chuckles softly, shaking her head. "You're very welcome, Twilight. See you then."

"You too!" I say, waving, and Discord and I hop on the train to take our seats.

I look apprehensively at Discord, who's taken a long coat out of his backpack and shoved his hands in the pockets, walking stiffly towards the nearest unoccupied bench.

I sit down across from him, quizzing him with a glance.

Discord merely takes his sunglasses off and places his face in his palm. "Every single time. Every Single Time. It's like it's a running gag or something."

He seems to know something about what just happened that I seemed to miss... "Hey Discord?"

"Yeessss?" he says, not bothering to raise his head.

"Does Luna have a fever or something? Because she was acting pretty strange at the end there."

He deigns to separate face and hand, and stares at me, completely deadpan. "No. She was desperately and not entirely successfully holding back laughter."

"What? Why would she be laughing at me?" I wonder. "Was it something I said?" As Discord sighs, I go over the conversation in...my...

OH.

"You get it now, don't you?" Discord asks, leaning back in the seat.

I just nod once and bury my now equally red face in my hooves.

"What was that I said earlier about the absent-mindedness?"

I don't even dignify that with a response.

He chuckles. "When I said I'd follow along with you on your mystery magic adventure, I never thought I'd get this much of a chaos payload. It's like watching a very purple firecracker be thrown into the middle of crowd of parasprite tamers."

"Discord, do me a favor and never mention this again."

"We'll see," he says, taking a sip from his teacup. "Have I mentioned that I really like this tea?"

I blanch. "Discord, is that Celestia's Pre-Equestrian Unification china that you have there? You know how Celestia is with her teasets."

Discord goes white as well. "Oh. Oh dear me. I...I can't believe I didn't think of that."

We look at each other, eyes wide, before each of us gives a small chuckle. "Well," I say. "I think both of us made mistakes tonight."

"I don't disagree, Twilight, but I think I can break my contract just this once...after all," he winks, "it is for my continued animation." He snaps, and the cup disappears. "I even left a nice little note for her explaining my honest mistake. Oh," he says, crossing his arms. "Drat."

I raise an eyebrow. "What's wrong?"

"I forgot to finish the tea."

Author's Note

"Non audet! Sui videre non adprobat! Phantasum obsecro, aliquis paenitebis non audet..."

"Non scio, quod est? Quare me scit? Meum respondere!"

"Tempum polum habo.... Si non aliquis tenes, me tenere. Nomen mei...Morpheme est."

"Don't you dare! It cannot be allowed for her to see! Dear spirits, you can't risk displeasing anyone..."

"I don't know, who are you? How do you know me? Answer me!"

"We have so little time...If you don't understand, at least understand me. My name...is Morpheme."

Liber Tertius: Quid Est Veritas

"Edepol.... Id necessarium erat censeo. Rei uno jubebam non face fecisti, ergo umquam te non adeo."

"Adhoc, non scio..."

"Hinc meum videbis. Attendere! Cave inanilogistam."

"You know, I constantly am astonished by the continually reinforced fact that ponies, and for that matter, most Equestrian sapient species, react in such a strong measure of embarrassment towards any sort of unintentional innuendo."

Discord and I are sitting in the map room at the castle, me in my chair and him draped across and through the memory chandelier. In response to his previous statement, I scowl at him. "You know, it's not like you're any different, Discord."

"I suppose I classify as an Equestrian sapient species, then," he says, unaffected. "Although I must be one of the most evolved."

After we'd gotten back to the castle somewhere around five in the morning, I'd immediately crashed into bed and slept like a rock. I wasn't paying too much attention to what Discord was doing, as I was dead tired, but I presume he must have popped himself off to his own dimension or something. Currently, it was about one-o-clock PM, and I'd just woken up to find Spike out of the house, save a note ('I'm going to the CMC's camp promotion, they asked me to be a speaker! See you this evening, Twilight!' --how precious!), and Discord staring pensively down a hallway in the castle, scratching his head and decidedly not doing anything chaotic. I asked him what was going on, and he said something about windows and y-axis fabric distortion. He said he had a kind of "fridge moment," whatever that means, and was counting the stairs in my castle.

"There aren't any, except for in the foyer," I said.

"So I gather. And I thought I was the strange one," he said, stroking his goatee. "Though it seems so normal to you and the rest of the ponies in town, I can't for the life of me understand why such a flagrant dismissal of the laws of thaumatic entanglement density could ever be considered normal, let alone one with so little, perhaps even negligible, temporal shift."

"...I try not to think about it, actually."

I, of course, had a few chores do do, so after getting a hold of myself in the map room, I immediately headed off for my room to get my checklist, and Discord, of course, hung around.

"You know, you don't have to keep me company," I say, rummaging around in my desk for a piece of paper and a quill, but he's having none of it. "Nonsense!" Wrapping himself around the chair, he chuckles. "You're about to have breakfast, is that so?" I nod, glancing up from my scratching quill and tapping the first box on the list: 1.__Eat Breakfast. He steps back, swiftly changing into a lab coat and goggles. "Then, at the risk of sounding too much like the addressed party, 'I have some observations to make!'"

Finishing his statement along with a huge grin, he polishes his bowtie. When did he change into that waiter's outfit? "Life is your restaurant, and I'm your maitre d'... let me take your order, mademoiselle," he bows, speaking in a terrible attempt at a fine Prench accent.

"Are you trying to annoy me, Discord?" I growl, setting the newly penned checklist on my desk, but he remains stoic, pad and notebook in hand. "Of course not, Twilight, I'm merely being a friend."

Frowning, I sarcastically say, "Well, I've never had a friend like you," but that only makes Discord grin again, raising an eyebrow in what I take as amusement on my account. "How observant of you, Twilight, I didn't think you'd pick up on that reference. Usually, that's Pinkie's job. But in all due seriousness," he lowers his sneering eyebrow, "this is the perfect opportunity to test out your new sensory confusion. Here I am, ready to provide any kind of food, domestic or abroad, and here you are, with the taste and architectural knowledge combined to truly appreciate how visually striking each food is--at least, in the civil engineering sense."

He looks at me expectantly. I'm about to brush him off, but then I reconsider. He's right. Any food I'd like to try is now in front of my hooftips, almost like having a genie, or a magical bean. And...suddenly I'm very hungry. I guess I haven't really eaten since lunch yesterday, come to think of it.

I think, despite my own misgivings, Discord is being nice. "...Actually, that sounds like a great idea, Discord."

He puts a claw to his eye, wiping away a cartoonishly large tear. "That's the first time anypony's ever said that to me, thank you, Twilight Sparkle," he says, clearly hamming it up.

I sigh. "Well, don't make me reconsider. You said any kind of food, right?" After he nods, I think about it. First, what have I always wanted to try but never have?

"Can I have...a plate of real Bitalian pasta carbonara, please?" I ask, and he immediately snaps his fingers.

The map room instantly becomes darker, with mood lighting and booths set up around the perimeter. Light jazz music begins playing from somewhere, and on the now carefully spread table in front of me lies a plate of...

Wow.

Is that what real carbonara looks like?

Gone were the peas so ubiquitous in Equestrian diners. What was before me was simple, a lightly spiced pile of some variant of rigatoni in egg sauce, interladen with...wait.

"Discord?" I prompt. "Is this...bacon?"

Discord's eyebrow goes up. "But of course. Well, guanciale, but the method of preparation is identical. You asked for real Bitalian carbonara, didn't you?"

"I...I'm not so sure I'd want to eat this..." I say, apprehensive.

"Why not? I can assure you this meat is 100% certified chaos-bred unsentient." He waved his hand dismissively. "I know how you ponies are with the animals, and I assure you this came from no pig but rather is simply a manifestation of my own magic. No animals were harmed."

When I still quaver, he continues. "Oh, and it's perfectly compatible with your digestive system. Ponies are omnivorous, you know." He coughs. "At least, to some extent. Vegetarianism, in a slightly fascinating--but nevertheless, utterly boring fragment of history, is merely a byproduct of your nation's accepting and benevolent moral structure."

I'm still not sure what to think of it, but Discord sighs and runs his paw down his face. "Twilight. Please, it's not that bad. Also, for the pony who willingly, even eagerly, spends a weekend reorganizing your library, you're being surprisingly ignorant right now."

"Ignorant? How so?" I ask, genuinely confused.

"Well, why do you think Applejack keeps pigs?" Discord says, shuffling a deck of cards between his fingers. "Surely it isn't just because they're good for finding truffles. You could get results with only one or two. Nor is it because they make good pets." Discord puts a claw on my shoulder. "No, Twilight, I thought you knew this already."

What? There's no way...this can't be true, but, but it makes too much sense...and why hadn't I questioned this before?

"I always wondered about the strangeness of sapience," said Discord, dealing cards into midair, "for example, if ponies, cows, and goats can talk, then why not sheep? Aren't they similar enough? Why do some animals exhibit clear signs of intelligence while others are more bestial, for lack of a better term? If I didn't know better, I'd think someone just up and made everything up as they went along!

"And another thing, why," said Discord, "are, even some sapient animals kept in pens and others allowed to roam free? You see," he sighed, "it truly is a quandary."

I stare at the plate in contemplation. This is a lot to think about at once...but I guess what Discord's saying makes...sense, as strange as that seems. I suppose there's a lot about the world that I just took for granted. I will have a talk with Applejack later, but I suppose if she's alright with it, then I am, too...there's no way she could raise pigs for, for slaughter if she were dishonest with herself.

"But I do understand your trepidation in sampling this dish, dear Twilight," Discord breaks me out of my reverie, and plucks a royal flush out of the sea of cards floating around him, and with a gurgling noise all the cards spiral down out of sight. "So if you desire, I'll replace it with a vegetarian version."

"No, no...uh, keep it, please," I say. This is a very strange situation, but I think I know what I need to say. "If you really took into account all the variables and made this without harming anycreature, then I suppose it would be rude to refuse..." I pause. "And the fact that you're being so accepting means a lot, I think. You've changed in the time since you've reformed."

He scoffs. "I would hope so! I am the Spirit of Chaos, after all."

"No, I mean you've learned how to be a friend," I say, to which Discord re-raises his eyebrow. "Admittedly, you're a strange friend, and you have a knack for getting on ponies' nerves, and you seem to take a certain delight in others' suffering that can strike one as kind of psychotic," --Discord's eyebrow raises an eyebrow-- "but...I suppose those are just your bad qualities, and I've only been looking at those for far too long."

Discord's eyebrows continue to rise, now joined by the other pair, but I'm not finished. "You also have a surprising ability to notice the little details, and given a direction towards helping others I think you might be just as good as Pinkie at making other ponies smile. You also do care about your friends, even if..." here I pause, thinking carefully. "Even if we don't necessarily let you have your moment in the spotlight as well. So...I guess if you can restrain your chaos for our sake, I can step out of my comfort zone for yours."

By now Discord's jaw is on the floor, and he scrambles to scoop it up. "I...I don't know what to say, Twilight," he says, tears brimming in his eyes. "I don't think anypony besides Fluttershy has ever been so accepting of me. I know I hate admitting it," he wipes his eyes with a handkerchief and blows his nose, "but thank you for that, Twilight."

I smile warmly. "What kind of Princess of Friendship would I be if I couldn't let a friend be themselves?"

Discord whoops and a great explosion of confetti rains down from the ceiling. "And there she has it! The million-dollar question! Add another thousand to Sparkle's total! I'd be careful, Fluttershy," he says, leaning over his announcer's podium towards the stand where she is suddenly sitting, looking around in surprise. A sign with her name and the number "$12100" hang from her stand. "If Twilight keeps this up, she might beat you out in the 'Acceptance' category."

Fluttershy blinks. "Oh, um, alright? Congratulations, Twilight."

I notice I'm also sitting at a stand. I look around to see my own name on the front and the number "$3200" underneath. I return my gaze up to see Discord pointing a remote at a screen, on which a grid of numbers appear. "I assume, Fluttershy, that you're taking 'Social Connections' for five hundred?" She blinks in good-natured dumbfoundedness, which Discord takes as a yes. "Alright!" Along with text appearing on the screen, Discord reads, "This societal function is founded on virtue and selflessness between quantitative equals, where the acceptance of and mutual assistance between each other lies solely for the other's sake and not one's own."

Fluttershy, nervously, looks at her buzzer and slowly pushes it. "What is...friendship?" The screen flashes green and a bell rings, but Discord isn't entirely happy. "You're half right, Fluttershy. Yes, this is a kind of friendship. Would you like a hint?"

I look down at my stand to notice I have a buzzer as well. I push mine. "Yes, Twilight?" says Discord, whirling around. I pause, not sure how to phrase it... "What is τὸ φιλεῖν?"

The grandstand lights up brilliant green and an enormous amount of canned applause emanates from all sides at once. "CORRECT! I'm sorry Fluttershy," Discord says, although he's grinning madly. "That question might have been a little rigged against you. I won't add the five hundred to Twilight's score."

"Hey!" I say, my competitive nature rising to the surface. Fluttershy quails. "Oh no, Discord, really, it's alright with me. Twilight can have her points, she answered correctly, after all."

"OOOOH!!" Discord says, wincing and chuckling. "Fluttershy comes back with a vicious counter-nicety! I think I'll just have to add five hundred to both of yours. Good game, both of you!"

Suddenly, there's no game hall and me and Discord are sitting back at the table in the Map Room. "Sorry for the diversion, Twilight, but I suppose I did want to prove a point. For a creature like me, it can be very hard for other ponies to see past my mischief to truly form such a philosophically sound friendship as the Aristrotlean ideal. And, I suppose in my own case, it can be very hard for me to see past other ponies' relativistic boringness as well. So what do you say we call it even?"

I smile. "I think that's a very good idea."

A glass of champagne appears in my hoof. Discord holds his own up. "To friendship?"

"To friendship."

We down our glasses. As before, an image gently rises into my mind. It's the balustrade of a sleek sailing vessel, lovingly carved by an expert carpenter...how appropriate.

Discord chokes on his glass, and for a minute I'm concerned, but he pounds his chest and hacks up...a hand mirror. "I was just looking for that!" he says, fake astonishment on his face.

"Hilarious, Discord," I say sarcastically. He just smiles.

But his smile fades into seriousness. "Now, enough shenanigans. How about that carbonara."

"Oh, yeah..."

"...Um, Discord, not to be a bother or anything," Fluttershy says from over in the corner, and Discord jumps in his seat, "but, um, I would appreciate if you could send me home, if that's alright..."

"No, no, of course, Fluttershy!" Discord says, quickly getting up. "I'm sorry, I know you have work still to do. I'll get you home in a snap."

"Oh, thanks a lot, Discord. ...I'm glad you and Twilight are getting along lately too, that's nice to see." She giggles into her hoof. "See you later, Twilight."

I wave back, "Bye Flutters! Nice to see you!" and with a snap of his fingers Discord sends Fluttershy back to her house.

After a beat, Discord sighs, sits down, and leans his chin on a talon. "Funny," he says, drawing out the word. "It's funny how the most unchanging, least chaotic ponies can still manage to be the most surprising."

"You mean Fluttershy?" I scratch my chin, myself. "I...Well, I don't know. What do you mean, surprising?"

"Well," Discord looks at me for a small moment, his face unreadable. "Surprising, but not in a chaotic way. I suppose, one day, you may find some...another for whom you can say the same thing. In fact, I think I hope so."

"What on earth is that supposed to mean?"

Discord gives off another long sigh and his head slips off his hand and onto the table. "Beats me. I'm having just enough trouble figuring that out myself, after all."

There is a long moment of silence, where I ponder those words, still not entirely sure what he meant.

Finally, I giggle. "What's so funny, eh?" Discord says, and I chuckle again. "Boy, when you're around, the conversation gets derailed very quickly, huh?"

Discord blinks. "Oh, right. I suppose that's par for the course." He picks up a knife and fork, the carbonara now back on the table. "What say you we dig in?"

"I'm game. Thanks, Discord."

"Don't mention it."

Blinking, I look down at the paper in my magic.

Bitalian carbonara: orange clay brick tower.
Creme brulee: lofty dome of thin supports.
Sog paneer: obvious.
Caesar salad: marble, undefined.
Barolo 987: painting of still life roses.
Chardonnay 992: landscape painting of oak forest and Rosaceaean fruits.
Smoked salmon: sandstone paving stones, herringbone pattern (ha!)
Schnitzel: large granite slabs, as in germaneic burial mounds
Turdu
Red velvet cake: Chilean mountain refuge, surprising
Liverwurst: do not eat again
Yakyakistan common ale: square obelisk
Yakyakistan master's ale: very polished square obelisk inscribed delicately with epic poems describing their history

hangover cure: ?????

The hornwriting gets more and more wobbly the further down the list I look. Some of it is from my hold on the page wavering, some not.

As the list I so unsteadily grip in my magic can readily attest, Discord and I had a lot of fun tasting different foods. I suggested we try some wine, seeing as the champagne we had before gave some really detailed results, and it kind of spiraled out of control after that, with me trying various other meat-related dishes, of which I found smoked salmon to be strange but undoubtedly delicious. Liverwurst, though, speaks for itself. By the time Discord and I parted ways somewhere about six-o-clock, I was comfortably full, and very comfortably intoxicated. For once in my life.

Thankfully, even though my magic skills seem to be somewhat affected, I've managed to keep a hold of my common sense and judgement...for the most part. I suppose I have Discord to thank for keeping me from drinking too much. I guess I'm just not used to it yet, seeing as I don't drink terribly often. Still, to think that Discord was the voice of moderation...I'm both happy that his character has changed enough for that to happen--and somewhat mortified that the situation had to come to that. I sure hope I don't turn into a lush.

Shaking my head, I teleport the paper back into my room and summon my first checklist. I look over to find the candle from my desk tumbling erratically in my magic. Squinting at the candle, I realize I must have botched the location settings for the teleportation spell. Oh no...if that's the case, then I must be more drunk than I thought...

Groaning, I pick it up with a hoof and walk all the way back to my room. On opening the door, I grit my teeth at the sight: I've teleported and spliced the foodlist paper vertically through a stack of other checklists. "Great. Just what I needed." Walking over to the desk, I set the candle back down and deliberately do not pick up my first checklist, looking down at the only thing left uncrossed.

__ 3. Clean castle.

Clean castle, eh?

I stare at the stack of papers fused together by the vertical list, and sigh.

Oh yes indeed. The mother of all sighs.

"I feel the urge to utter a swear word very, very strongly."

"Thank you so much, Spike. I couldn't have done it without you."

"Oh, really?" Spike says, an eyebrow raised as he shuts the broom closet (#13) door. "Don't be silly, Twilight, I'm sure your decently intoxicated self could have managed all this spring cleaning. It only requires, I dunno, fine motor control, let alone a steady magic grip. Piece of cake." He rolls his eyes.

I wince. "Uh, yeah. I'm sorry you had to do most of the work. I guess I got a little carried away today."

"No kiddin'," Spike scoffs, but then turns to me with a grin. "But really, the only thing I'm mad about is I wasn't there to see it. Discord's a blast, at least if he's in a good mood."

"I suppose so," I say, chuckling. "I'm happy that for once in my life, Discord's and my interests overlapped. I see why you like playing Ogres and Oubliettes with him so much."

Spike laughs, long and loud. "Oh yeah, that reminds me! Did I ever tell you he's making his own tabletop roleplaying game? It's called Tomes of Tabulation."

"Really?" I blink. "I don't think it'd be enjoyable playing a game without any rules."

"No, that's the thing," says Spike, shaking his head. "It has way too many rules. The fun of the game is in sorting through the rulebooks and figuring out what insane loopholes you can get away with. Discord calls it 'an exercise in chaos under limitations.'"

"That sounds fascinating, actually."

"Yeah, that's what I said. If you're really interested," Spike shrugs, "I can ask Discord if he can set up the game for more players and not just the Guys' Night guys, although," he frowns, "perhaps on a different day. I'd like to keep Guys' Night to ourselves, for now."

"Well, I could just ask him myself, you know," I say, smiling. "Now that Discord and I see more close to eye to eye than I ever thought we would, I have a feeling I'll be seeing him around."

"I guess so!" Spike says, chuckling.

The mantle clock chimes nine.

"Howabout some late dinner, then?" I say.

"Sure, sounds great!" Spike walks ahead, then spins around to face me. "But only if you tell me what it looks like!"

I smile. "I think I can do that, Spike."

Yawning, I follow Spike, before I suddenly remember.

"Oh."

"What's up?"

"I completely forgot about my meeting with Luna!" I can't believe it! I slept in, and then I had so much fun trying out foods with Discord, then I was cleaning with Spike...I forgot I'm supposed to have a meeting with her in...in an hour and a half!

"Wait, you had a meeting with Luna? When was it?" Spike seems concerned, but he's not freaking out, and that calms me down a bit. "No, no, I haven't missed it. It's at ten-thirty," I say, and Spike sighs. "Geez, don't scare me like that, Twilight."

I rub the back of my head. "Sorry. I was just surprised I had managed to forget about it entirely, given all that's been happening recently."

"Huh? Wait, actually, why are you having a meeting with Luna out of the blue? Is she coming over for tea?"

"No, actually. I'm having a tutoring session where she'll be teaching me dream magic."

"Oh, alright," Spike says, putting his arms behind his head and resuming his course towards the dining room. "That makes sense."

I wonder how I'm going to fall asleep now that I'm all wound up. Come to think of it, can Luna fall asleep whenever she wants to? That seems like a useful skill to have. But...when she's dealing with dreams in the Dream Realm, would you call that state "sleeping" or what? I know she also sleeps in the daytime, so she must be working in the night. If so, using dream magic must be pretty exhausting. Hmm. I should ask her tonight.

"Wait."

Spike turns around, eyes wide. "Uh, wait, did I hear you right?"

"What? I..." Oh, drat! I forgot to tell him. "Oh, sorry, Spike! Why don't I catch you up on what's been going on."

"Uh, yeah," he says, a hand to the side of his head. "I would darn well hope so. Geez." He shakes his head. "Really, sometimes you can be such an airhead."

"Well, excuse you for not being home for most of today, Spike! Admittedly, it was for a good cause, so I can't fault you there."

"Well, I guess we can share the blame on this one, eh, Twilight?"

"Yeah." I pat him on the head. "Sorry about that, Spike, and thanks."

I take a deep breath. "So, anyway, we met up with Luna and I told her what was going on..."

Spike nods sagely. "Alright, I get the picture. So...you're developing dream magic, eh? That's pretty cool."

"I know, right?" I practically prance around the room before I get a better hold of myself. "Only Luna herself has ever been able to use it, and that's because of her cutie mark. I can't believe such a lucky thing would just happen to me!"

"Yeah, I feel you." Spike scratches the back of his head. "But, uh...why?"

I pause. "What?"

"Well," he scrunches his eyebrows a little, "it just kinda seems a little strange, you know. What I'm trying to say is, uh, do you know why exactly you are developing dream magic to begin with?"

I blink.

Spike pats me on the shoulder. "One track mind, huh?"

"One track mind, indeed," I say, shaking my head. "Now that you mention it, I haven't even thought about the exact reason behind it. All I've been worrying about is the effects and implications. How about this," I pat Spike's shoulder in return, "I'll talk to Luna about it this evening. She most likely either intends to talk about it herself, or is turning out the same as me and it hasn't even occurred to her. Either way, it'd be a good idea to talk to her about it."

Nodding, Spike motions for me to follow him to the dining room. "Yeah, I agree. If anyone could help you figure it out, she'd be the one, and I guess," he taps a finger to his mouth pensively, "the only one." Shaking his head a little, he continues, "But if you're going to be meeting with her in, say...an hour and fifteen minutes, you should probably eat some dinner soon so you don't have to go to bed on an empty stomach."

"I think that's a great idea." Spike and I exchange smiles.

"But then again," Spike tilts his head, "I am curious as to what different foods look like as, uh, building elements. Why don't I pull out some, but not all the stops, so we can still have dinner quick but you get a nice meal to synesthesize."

I blink at Spike. "Impressive, but I don't think that's a real word."

"I never understood why," Spike scowls, "Any variation on a word can't be just as real as the real word itself. I think you should be able to add '-ize' to the end of any word and it still be considered real."

"Pancake-ize."

"Yes."

"Building-ize."

"Yes."

"Reprehensible-ize."

"That one actually sounds amazing, thanks."

We're entering the kitchen, finally--this castle is a bit big. I sigh. "Well, I suppose there aren't any hard and fast rules about it, but you might sound like a dork if you keep doing it. In the same way, there isn't anything self-evidently bad about writing words phonetically, but it looks kind of dumb."

"I guess," Spike says, putting an apron on. "I'll just pick and choose which words I like to do that to."

"Just don't do it too often around me or I might get angry and give you a real lecture about it."

Spike chuckles. "I'm surprised you aren't already. That drinking binge with Discord really seems to have loosened you up."

"Stop..." I whine. "Look, please don't make fun of me."

"I gotcha, I gotcha," he says. "But think about it this way. Everyone has embarrassing stories their parents and siblings tell about them. Ever heard the line 'if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best?'"

I lean on the counter and watch Spike roll out a flat dough circle. "No, I can't say that I ever have. But I think I get it. If you only like a pony for the 'self' they present to others and don't like the true self they are by themselves or in close company, then can you really call yourselves friends?"

"Exactly." Spike rolls the edge of the dough up...making a deep-dish style, wow. I thought he said he was only pulling out some of the stops. "So, to make sure our friendships are the real deal, in the same way you have stories about me that you love to tell to all my friends," I wince, "I in turn get to have my own stories of you that I tell. It's a give-and-take."

I put my cheek on my hoof. "I guess I can't argue with that logic...and I suppose I am feeling a bit 'loosened up' anyway."

"Hey, I'm just glad you and Discord seem to be getting along a bit better recently. It's nice."

"He's a card, a goof, and a bit of an egotist, but he's surprisingly...no, he's always been perceptive, but he's been using his perception to help others a lot more recently. It's a side of him I usually don't get to see, mainly because we don't have the greatest history." I frown sadly. "I suppose I focused on the bad parts of him and didn't see past to the good. Don't get me wrong, he's got a long way to go, but..." I walk over to the dining table, floating the plates along with me. "We all are working to become the best ponies, or draconequuses, we can be, and there will always be ways we can improve."

"Well said, Twilight." Spike nods, and pops the pizza in the oven. "It'll be about fifteen minutes. Wanna play a quick round of Go Fish?"

"Sure, why not?"

Author's Note

"Edepol.... Id necessarium erat censeo. Rei uno jubebam non face fecisti, ergo umquam te non adeo."

"Adhoc, non scio..."

"Hinc meum videbis. Attendere! Cave inanilogistam."

"By Pollux...It's inevitable she'll assess us. The cause for judgement not realized has now been formed, therefore I cannot approach at any time."

"Still, I don't understand..."

"Henceforth see me. Pay attention: Beware the one who talks nonsense."

Liber Quartus: Somnia Et Paces

...

"Unde evenit? Vulto scio..."

"TWILIGHT!"

Blinking, I sit up straight. Was I having a dream? I'm in my room, the sheets on my bed crumpled at the footboard.

"Twilight, art--are you alright?"

"Huh?" I look over at Luna. "Oh, um, I think so. I must have been having...some sort of dream." I look back at the sheets, clearly violently cast away. I look back and squint my eyes. "Luna?"

"Yes?"

"I thought you weren't coming to Ponyville tonight?"

"I haven't," she says, blankly, "which is what is concerning."

"But..." I look around at my room. Now that she mentions it, the light coming in through the window seems different than usual. Stepping down onto the floor, I walk over.

"We are within the Dream Realm," Luna says, as I watch openmouthed as an endless, luminous, starry night of whirling spheres dance outside my window. "Which is odd, because usually no constructs are allowed into this, er...connecting phase."

I turn back, puzzled. "Connecting phase?"

"Well, ah, if you will forgive the metaphor, this particular part of the Dream Realm is like the, the post office, and each of these spheres," she gestures to one just outside--it shows two brothers playing in the woods-- "are the letters, or dreams, they send through. Each dream has its own 'address' that brings my mind to theirs. Quite fascinating, addresses. Usually if ponies wanted to send a scroll to me, they would just tell the courier to bring it to 'the biggest building.'" She puts a hoof to her chin. "I suppose there were fewer ponies around in those days, so it was much easier to learn one's neighbors."

"But I digress," Luna says, shaking her head slightly. "This is somewhat perturbing. The fact that you have recreated your bedroom within a-- well, within a purely metaphorical interface, is unprecedented."

"Not to mention I was apparently sleeping here, too. Is that weird?" I frown. "Tell me it's weird to sleep in a dream."

Luna shrugs. "It's not as unprecedented, but certainly unusual. It usually occurs when a pony is entirely content or relieved when they fall asleep. I might warrant," she looks at me out of the corner of her eye, "did you have a good day yesterday?"

I nod. "As a matter of fact, yes, yes I did. I suppose when I went to bed I could have been pretty content, yeah."

"Well then that explains it. As for why you are here and not within your own dreamscape, your dream magic seems to have finally passed that 'critical mass' necessary for you to manifest into this particular plane. Quite wonderful. As for the rest of your bedroom, however, I'm not going to think about how you managed to bring a real concept into an abstract, representative interface. I don't think I'm quite smart enough to figure that one out tonight."

"That's reasonable," I say. "But hey, if it's alright, I have a few questions about, uh, well, where is here?"

"Oh, you mean the Everdream?" Luna nods. "First off, this doesn't exist in reality, it's a construct devised to allow ponies such as myself to understand the Dream Realm better. It certainly helps with navigation."

"I see, sort of," I say, blinking. "Are all of Equestria's dreams here?"

Luna waves a hoof indeterminately. "Most likely? It's a bit harder to find the dreams that belong to others besides ponies, but as far as I can tell, all the ponies, griffons, changelings, dragon or two and others seem to be here, most of the time."

"Wow...alright, does it function on curved-space principles of the bubble universe or does it have a border?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Does it stop or do you just go back to where you started, if you go in a straight line?"

"Ah. The latter."

"Intriguing," I say, rubbing my chin. I'm about to ask another question when I remember something, something quite important. "Ah, Luna?" She tilts her head. "I have a different question to ask. Do you know," I frown slightly. "Do you know why I've started developing dream magic?"

Luna frowns as well. "No, but good question. Like I said, such a development is unprecedented. If you were actively looking to connect yourself with the Dream Realm, that would be one thing, after all," she chuckles, "that's how my mother discovered it to begin with."

Mother??? I've heard almost nothing about Celestia and Luna's parents. But I suppose the idea that Luna was the only one to use dream magic isn't correct, now. I really have to ask about that sometime, when we have a bit more time to talk.

Luna continues, "But no, you had no desire to, nor actions committed to, achieving such an end, so as far as I am concerned, I could be trying to find a needle in a haystack." She sighs. "I don't think it's anything to worry about, but it does strike me as strange, you understand?"

"Yeah, I get you." I sit down. "That seems weird to me, too."

Luna raises a hoof dismissively, then looks at me. "I was told," she says, quietly, "this gesture means the phrase 'what can you do?' Is that correct?"

"Yes, Luna," I say, chuckling to myself. "That's correct."

Luna claps her hooves together and beams at me. "Intriguing! I would never have expected Modern Equestrian to incorporate so many components of sign language...I wonder why that is?"

I shrug. "I think I'm lost there as well, Luna. I've never really studied up on mouth morphemes and fossular positions."

"Just as well, then," Luna says, making her 'what can you do?' gesture once more. "I suppose that neatly ties up that tangent.

"As for the lesson I promised, why don't we get started, Twilight?" She smiles, and I walk over, excited. "Yes please! What do we start with?"

Luna taps her chin. "I will eventually need to have you learn how to enter the Everdream at will, not just when you are sleeping. But that is not pressing. What I will have you focus on instead is first, travelling about the Everdream and entering ponies' dreams. Direct influence can come further down the line."

"Alright...so basically, I'm going to learn the, well, the basics."

"Precisely."

"But wait, I heard from Starlight that Celestia was able to do those just fine, that time she switched Cutie Marks with you."

"Ah," Luna says, nodding. "Fair point. For anypony save my sister, these things take time. However, even though she was entirely unfamiliar with this particular branch of magic, within magic proper, there are spells that have similar 'representative' qualities to them. Things like limited pocket dimensions, or perhaps plane transitions...all of which," she eyes me in what looks like wariness, and I make sure to close my mouth and wipe the drool from it, "take decades of mental strengthening to even consider casting. But since dream magic can be considered a completely different 'species' of magic, in a similar manner to dark magic and chaos magic, many of unicorn--or alicorn--magic's rules simply cannot apply. Thus, you don't need to spend...oh, thirty or fourty years in meditation just to get the chance to actually cast the magic in the first place." She chuckles at my downcast expression. "Don't worry, Twilight. As an alicorn, your chance will come in time."

I nod, feeling a little better. I am immortal now, after all...but that just brings the question to mind, will my frien--

No.

I can't think of that now.

Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I sit expectantly a few hooves from Luna, who chuckles again, and stands up. "Come now, Twilight, I can lecture you for hours on end, but what good does learning how muscle fibers break and restore do to the pony who does not exercise? Let us take, for lack of a better word, a stroll."

I take Luna's hoof and stand up. "Aww...but I really wanted a lecture from you, Luna."

She shakes her head, a fond smile on her muzzle. "Then let us multi-task."

We walk to the door of my bedroom, where Luna slowly opens it onto the serene blizzard of dreams outside. "With representative magic, what you imagine is what will be. I know you have no lack of imagination, but like all things, practice is necessary." She gently floats into the...well, it can't be air. The space beyond the door. "To move in the Everdream, imaging is key. Find what moves you, so to speak...whether it be air, or water, or a gentle flow of magic. Imagining this force moving you will do so. Come, try it."

She holds a hoof out, and I frown, thinking it over in my head. "Is there any reason why you say to imagine a force moving you, as opposed to moving yourself?"

"Excellent observation, Twilight. Although you already have made an exception to the rule, 'real' objects cannot exist within the Everdream. Nonetheless, we ourselves are real, if not corporeal in this state, and thus imaging does not work from within us, but rather manipulates the images around us. For of course," she gestures around herself, "what are dreams but images our minds and souls create? Illusions, easily made and easily changed."

"I understand. So even you can't change your shape within the Dream Realm?" I scratch the side of my head. "But how do other ponies do that? I distinctly remember Big Macintosh growing a horn and wings when we fought the Tantabus."

"My, are we full of questions tonight," Luna says, and I blush, but she's not mad. "Well, we are not dreaming, now are we? Ponies' dreams exist within themselves, while we are merely voyaging through them."

I blink. "So...because a dream is inside the pony, it doesn't limit how that pony can see themselves, but because we are inside the dream, we cannot change?"

"I knew you would figure it out, Twilight. It appears you've been getting your lecture, as you desired. Why don't you try putting it into practice?"

"Oh, yeah, I can do that. Imaging, right." I scrunch up my muzzle. I have to use outside forces to move myself to where Luna is. I'm the most familiar with magic, so...could I in essence, 'levitate' myself over to Luna like Starlight does from time to time?

"Good work, Twilight," Luna says, and I start. I'm already out, floating next to her. "That must be a very effective image for you."

"Uh, thanks, that kinda just happened without me noticing. I was thinking about how Starlight levitates herself with her magic, so she can fly as a unicorn, in a limited sense. But," I frown, "I notice I didn't actually use my magic."

"Of course not--you used the images around you. There was no need to do something so cumbersome as casting a spell." She giggles at my shocked expression. "I am, of course, being silly. But it is much easier to simply imagine than to cast a spell, no?

"Besides," she starts floating through the slowly drifting spheres of dreams, and I follow, somewhat wobbly still, "Spells don't work here. Not unicorn or alicorn ones, at least."

"That's where the dream magic comes in, right?"

"Exactly." Luna smiles. "I think you will take well to this."

I grow warm at the praise. "Thanks, Luna."

"You're welcome," she says, a light in her eyes. "And, I think I had a good idea for your inaugural dream lesson."

"Oh?" I tilt my head. "What's that?"

I sit in silent, nerve-wracking concentration.

Sweat beads on my cheeks, but I don't bother to wipe it off, my mind focused on the board before me.

Across from me, my opponent leans back in his chair, yawning softly, as if bored with the way this game is turning out.

Like he knows how it's going to end.

I'm being backed into a corner, I can feel it. I've lived for millennia, and I've headed successful war campaigns against other developed countries. I've played the game for so long, I can hardly remember learning it.

And yet, the knight, rook, and bishop still stare at me, smugly, from their squares on the board, cutting off my escapes and not giving me any room to breathe.

I take a small, hopefully imperceptible glance up at my oppressor. He's slumped in his chair, likely bored out of his mind, his tassels hanging lazily down from his corners.

May the great earth below have mercy upon me--I can't believe it, but I'm losing to a rug.

"Celestia?"

I let out a certainly un-Princess-like yelp and topple over in my chair, a hoof connecting to the table and sending it, the board, and the thirty-two pieces flying. The rug looks up just in time to be absolutely beaned by the airborne table, smashing him against the back of his seat and bringing them both to the floor. I look up from my carnage to see Luna and Twilight standing a few hooves away.

"Luna? Twilight?" I say, disoriented. "How in Equestria did you find me?"

"What?" Twilight looks confused. "Celestia, wha--"

"You're dreaming," Luna says, cutting Twilight off.

Actually, now that she mentions it, I do, in fact, seem to be dreaming. Now that I think about it, it seems kind of strange that I'd be playing a rug in chess...if I remember, the last of the great flying carpets was lost in the Alexandria fire nearly eight hundred years ago.

"Ah. So I see, now. What brings you to my dream, Luna?"

"Nightmare, apparently," Luna replies, a glint in her eyes. "You did not seem to be having a good time, if I recall."

"Uh," I look over to see the rug picking itself up off the fallen chair, dusting itself with its tassels. "Well, I suppose."

I raise an eyebrow, and turn back to them. "Actually, Twilight, how are you here? Is Luna taking you on a tour of other ponies' dreams?" I turn to Luna, frowning. "I thought that was your duty, your sacred duty, and yours alone." I'd rather keep the content of my dreams to the least amount of ponies possible...for obvious reasons.

"Oh, of course, normally," says Luna, unfazed. "But as you see, it may not be only my duty for long."

I...am not sure what that means. "And...Twilight now shares it with you? What? I fail to see..." I look over to see Twilight fiddling with her hooves. "Hmm." I stand up and dust myself off as well, "Well? Could you please explain?"

"Uh, yes, Celestia," Twilight says. "I have developed dream magic recently, and um, and Luna is teach..."

She trails off as I stare at her. I blink. "Come again?"

"I developed...dream magic...recently."

Still looking at Twilight, I pick up the chair in my magic, set it upright behind me, and slowly sit down. "You know what," I say. "I was not expecting that response. You've developed dream magic? But that's," I stammer. "That's, well, nopony, uugghhh..." I put my head in my hooves. "Twilight, you never cease to amaze. You are the Element of Magic, but this..."

"Is...is that bad?" Twilight says, softly.

I raise my head sharply, "No! No, no it's not bad. It's merely something I never would have expected, that's all. Which begs the question," I turn back to Luna. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

Twilight shakes her head. "No, Princess Celestia, don't blame her, I didn't figure it out until yesterday evening, and Luna didn't know until later than that. We weren't trying to keep anything from you, I promise."

Luna nods. "I figured now would be the best time to tell you, as well as provide undeniable proof as well. You know as well as I that nopony other than me can enter dreams. Nopony, that is," she smiles, "who does not have dream magic."

I nod slowly, looking at Twilight. Suddenly, I dart my eyes back to Luna. Her eyebrows are up, but somehow...disinterestedly. It's scary. "What are you smirking about, Luna?"

Luna crosses her forelegs. "Nothing much. Simply, I don't believe I've heard you say, hmmm...'uugghhh'...in millennia."

I blanch, then scowl. "I have nothing to say to you."

As the carpet sulkily cleans up the fallen chess pieces, they finish explaining the situation to me.

"Yes, alright, that does make sense," Celestia says. "I believe you, too. Luna can link dreams and bring ponies between them, but you both truly entered my dream. That's only possible for someone who can manifest in the Everdream."

"That's good to hear," Twilight says, sighing in relief. "It was fun, learning how to enter ponies' dreams, but I was a little uncomfortable when I found out it was yours I'd be entering."

Luna laughs. "Don't worry, Twilight. Celestia is quite merciful, I've heard, even when others discover her dream involved losing to a rug."

Twilight squirms a little as I glare at Luna again, but I sigh. "It's alright, Twilight, we all have strange and embarrassing dreams at times. I'm sure there were much more embarrassing ones that you could have witnessed."

The scenery around us flickers for a moment, the image of a beach at sunset briefly appearing, before I clamp down on the stray thought and bring us back to the parlor, my eyes wide.

I don't even need to look at Luna to tell what expression she's wearing. "Case in point, Twilight, and Luna, if you speak a word to her I will banish you to the moon again."

Twilight looks confused, obviously not getting the bigger picture. Luna slides a hoof across her muzzle, then frowns. "That means 'my lips are sealed,' is that right?"

I sigh heavily, then chuckle. "Yes, Luna. Anyway, since you came out all the way to see my dream, why don't you...practice a little?"

"Practice?" Twilight tilts her head, and Luna nods. "Yes, Twilight, let us have you practice changing another pony's dreams." Luna gestures to the rug, tassels folded in a pout. "Since this is the closest to a nightmare that we'll be seeing for now, why don't you try getting rid of it?"

"Uh, alright," Twilight says, "more imaging, right?"

"Precisely," Luna answers, "and since it is an outside force, it looks like you can just manipulate it directly."

Oblivious to the rug's consternation at its apparent fate, Twilight narrows her eyes.

And just like that, the rug is gone. I feel an inordinate amount of pleasure from that.

Luna applauds. "Excellently done. Now, when dealing with real Nightmares, they are too powerful to be dealt with directly. Since they have so much...how to say, staying power, it is very hard to change them." Twilight nods, and a little notebook appears next to her. She's clearly imagining that, too...it's endearing.

"Most of the time, the easiest way to deal with a Nightmare is to find its weakness. What emotions allowed it entry into that pony's dream, and what course of action can be taken to loosen the grip it has?" Luna frowns. "This is the most difficult part, as it requires both quick thinking and a clear understanding of each situation. Thankfully, most nightmares are fairly simple. A stressful job, a phobia or fear, a nagging doubt. But," she puts a wing on Twilight's back, "until you are quite familiar with the process, I will be accompanying you on your excursions, just to be safe."

I felt something at that. Something like a twinge. What is it?

Oh. I get it.

I see myself in Luna. She's echoing how I was just a few years ago, when I became Twilight's mentor. It's...both warming and frightening. I'm happy that Luna gets to expand her experiences and finally take a student of her own...but...

I suppose my own possessiveness and sentimentalism still stick with me, even after a thousand years.

I decide to keep those thoughts to myself.

"Thank you, Luna, for looking out for me, even though I'm sure you still have your own duties and all," Twilight says, ruffling her wings anxiously.

Luna beams. "Of course, Twilight! Yes, I will have to perform my vigils, but tutoring you is also a priority of mine." She then turns to me. "Would it be alright, sister, if before Twilight and I practice each time, we could meet in your dream? I'm sure you are also interested in Twilight's development."

"Well, that sounds fine, but..." I trail off. I don't want to get in the way of their growing mentor/student relationship, and, as foreign as it is, I don't trust my own emotions not to show.

Luna's face is filled with worry. "Is it at a bad time, Celestia? I'm sure we don't need to impose."

I smile, warmly. "No, Luna. You would not be imposing in the slightest. I think it's a wonderful idea."

Luna knows better than to ask about my hesitation, and seeing as I'm alright with the idea, she just smiles in return. "Then it is settled. Twilight," she takes Twilight's hoof in her own, "we shall continue tomorrow night with you finding Celestia's dream on your own accord. I would like to stay and teach you longer," she taps Twilight's hoof with her other one, "but my vigils are in need."

"Oh, don't worry, Luna," Twilight says, nodding. "I understand completely. Honestly, this is much more than I was expecting on the first night. Thank you so much for all your, your help, and for teaching me!"

There is a hug, and then Twilight waves goodbye to me, before Luna sends her back to her own dream.

The twinge is back.

"Sister," Luna says, and I start slightly, "Are you certain it is not a trouble? I merely thought seeing more of Twilight would be good."

I sigh, and shake my head. "Yes, I am certain. I was just...overthinking things."

"I see," she says, although she still looks at me with an expression I don't see very often. "Well, sister, can I...can I at least give you a good dream, tonight?"

I shake my head again, but this time, I'm smiling slyly. "No, I think I have this covered."

The scenery around us changes to that beach at night again. Luna's face goes red, and she mouths 'oh'.

I chuckle. "Good luck, Luna. May there be few nightmares tonight."

Luna coughs into her hoof. "I, for one, figure that there's one pony I won't need to wish sweet dreams to, at least."

Shaking her head and giving me a final wink, she disappears.

I can't remember the last time I've had this particular dream, and now that Luna's gone, I can feel my lucidity slipping away.

"Celestia?"

I turn around, a coy smile making its way to my lips.

After Luna teleporte--actually, it wouldn't be teleportation, would it? I bet it's more akin to banishment, after all, you are sending somepony's mind back to where it belongs.

Anyway, after Luna 'banished' me back to my own dream, I found myself in a bit of a predicament.

The whole dream is white. There's nothing in it, no details or anything. I tried a bit to get things to manifest, in the same kind of way that I got rid of the rug in Celestia's dream, but I guess I don't have enough experience.

I focus my mind, trying to get my favorite desk chair to appear in front of me. Nothing happens. Alright, something must be wrong. There's no way Luna would just forget to tell me something so important as 'oh, and your own dream is probably going to be an existential void and you're not going to be able to do anything in it. See ya!'

She wouldn't have put it that way, either, come to think of it.

I mull the problem over in my head. Is the problem because I'm not focusing enough? Or, too much? But that wouldn't explain why the dream itself has nothing in it. Normally, ponies' heads are so full of thoughts, even when they sleep, that that would form the dreams around them. Aha! I might be in a certain pattern of sleep where dreaming doesn't happen, like, for example, I might be in a pattern of stage 2 non-REM sleep at the moment, and usually dreams don't occur then. That would explain why there's no detail, and why I can't summon anything.

But, that brings up the question of, why am I still lucid? I would assume that if somepony is, uh, transported back to their own dream, but they're in a non-dreaming state of sleep, they'd just not dream. Oh, but I have dream magic now. So what I undergo is almost guaranteed to be different than the normal. Hmm. But why, even though I'm thinking lucidly like this, would my brain still be functioning at a non-REM stage? I feel like the answer is right next to me, but I just can't see it.

Something taps me on the shoulder, and I pause for a second in my thoughts to turn and say "Yes?"

I then promptly launch myself backwards in terror.

Oh sweet Celestia, it's a NIGHTMARE! What do I do, what do I do!?

The...the thing blinks its...well, eye, I think. It looks more like a symbol etched into the strange, unfocused flesh of the creature. AHH WHY IS IT STARING AT ME IS IT GOING TO EAT MY SOUL--

Calm down, young one.

Oh boy, it sure sounds like a Nightmare. I should probably run away. Huh? Oh, looks like I did calm down. How'd that happen? Did...the Nightmare do that?

"Uh," I say, blinking. "You did that, right?"

Yes. Having you hysterical would prevent a good conversation, would it not.

Now that I'm not as panicked, I'm just confused. "You aren't a Nightmare, are you?" I sit down. "I think a Nightmare would be causing me to feel fear, not getting rid of it."

That is sound reasoning. No, I am not of the pale shadows.

"I see..." I really don't see, but it at least looks like this...thing really doesn't want to hurt me.

Nonetheless, I see you have no recollection of me. I wonder.

"Wait, you mean, we've talked before?"

Briefly. Never long enough to make a difference, and before you could remember, I suppose.

Suddenly, I recall...well, I don't recall speaking to him, but I remember remembering a faint outline of a shattered conversation...

"Now that you mention it, I think I have been having weird dreams lately, but I've never been able to remember anything about them. You're saying that was you?"

Most likely. It did not help that the Apparition was moving her eyes.

"Yeah, Luna did say that something in the Dream Realm was going on, but turned out that was me, after all."

Precisely--now, she is contented. I may speak to you openly.

"Sure," I turn to him, "But why? I mean, I don't even know what you are. I also feel like you're affecting my mind, on some level, beyond just calming me. Who's to say you don't have ulterior motives?"

I do. He raises a limb. And I apologize. I shall remove my effects from you.

Nothing changes. "Are you sure that OH HOLY CELESTIA WHAT IN EQUESTRIA ALRI--iight, let me just calm myself down, this time, please," I say, a hoof on my chest. "But you are not the easiest thing to look at, you know?"

That is understandable. Now that I look again, he--he? How does this thing have a gender? It's definitely a he, though how I know, I can't say. He's vaguely pony-shaped, but with skin that's hard to look at. When I try, my eyes can't focus properly, let alone tell what color it is. His sigil-like eye stares me down, and I can look at that properly, so I figure eye contact is probably the best bet for talking to him. He's...he's pretty frightening, I won't lie to myself. But then again, looks are only surface deep...does that apply here?

To answer your question more accurately, I do have ulterior motives. They concern you.

"Me? Is this the part where you eat my soul?" I meant that as a joke, but I think my knees are shaking.

Heavens no. In fact, almost exactly the opposite.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I say, confused, but he stands up, like a fluid flowing upward. The Apparition nears. Let us thank the strings of fate that we were able to talk so long.

"Oh, uh, alright...but," I frown, curiosity getting the better of my fear, "I'd better be getting answers soon, you hear?"

I would be remiss to not inform you. As he begins to fade, his eye blinks. Do you recall my name?

"Morpheme," I say, without thinking, then my eyes widen, and I put a hoof to my mouth. "Huh?"

Good. If he had a mouth, I can tell he'd be smiling. Keep your mind open to knowledge, young one. There is much growth waiting for you.

He disappears.

I blink.

Suddenly, I'm in my favorite desk chair, a neatly ordered list of tasks in front of me, all of them checked off.

"Oh, now it works."

"What works?"

I look up to see Luna opening the library door.

I make a dismissive hoof motion. "Don't worry about it. What brings you here, Luna?"

"Oh, I was wandering this way to patrol Ponyville's dreams, and I decided to stop by. Have you been lucid the whole time?"

I nod. "Yep. Uh..."

Reviewing the last conversation in my mind, I decide not to tell Luna about it, after all. I don't know why, just a gut feeling. After all, maybe I made a new friend tonight...

"I've been having fun working on manipulating my dream." I smile, pushing thoughts of my conversation back, before they appear around me in the dreamscape.

"This particular one is very you, Twilight," Luna says. I blush. "I...just like checking things off, alright?"

"Well, here." Luna walks closer. "I have to be on my way, but first, let me teach you some dream magic that will let you call me should anything happen you aren't comfortable with."

I nod, but those words ring a chord...

Something seems off about the creature known as Morpheme...something that, if messed with at the wrong time, might cause Luna and the rest to fall into danger. The one question that really bugs me, though, is why doesn't Morpheme want Luna to know about him? I can't trust Morpheme yet, but I need answers...I'll have to be exceedingly careful in the near future--something big is going on.

"That would be great, Luna!"

I wave goodbye to Twilight, and reenter the Everdream. Good. Now she can call me if she is, by some small chance, invaded by Nightmares.

But I can't help but remember those soft words I heard, somewhere out in the Everdream...

"Hei?"

"...Auctus magnus pro tibi manet."

Who was that, talking in Old Ponish? What does 'much growth waiting for you' mean?

Perhaps a scholar talking in his sleep.

I can't shake the feeling--something is happening, something that is not supposed to.

Pushing back a shiver, I turn my mind to my work.

Author's Note

Not enough important Latin to warrant a footnote about it.
-B

Liber Quintus: Deverticulum

I fidget in my chair, tapping the tabletop neurotically. Ever since last night, I've been on edge...clearly, something is going on, and I just hope it isn't too bad.

Who is Morpheme? What is he? What does he want? If he gave me dream magic, why me, and why did he want to do that? I am the Princess of Friendship, is it a political thing? I can't imagine that from somecreature that looked like that. I do have a special talent for magic, but if that's all, then he could have used any number of talented unicorns, like Sunburst. No, this has something to do with me specifically. What do I have? What do I have that nopony else does? I'm an alicorn who is also a Bearer of Harmony? That might be it. Somehow I feel that's not the whole picture, though...

I pause, rubbing my forehead with a hoof, my eyes closed in agitation. Gah! None of my theorizing is helping! I'm still no closer to figuring out what in Equestria Morpeme even is, let alone what he wants or how potentially dangerous he could be.

I glance over at Spike, who is looking at me with a raised eyebrow, drumming his claws on the table. The table where my omelet is getting cold.

"Oh! I'm sorry, Spike." I sheepishly return to the table, picking up my fork. "I've got a lot on my mind right now."

"So...I gathered," Spike says, shrugging. "Must be pretty bad, though, you barely pace anymore--unless it's a matter of national security, or an emergency with the organization, or if your schedule is compromised, or if you can't figure out a spell, which is kind of rare, when you think about it. Actually, now that I think about it," he frowns, "aside from the spell thing, you do pace a lot."

I continue eating my omelet, keeping my eyes on the food. "Yeah...it's a bad habit. I've been working on it, but little insidious habits like that are harder to get rid of then full-on freakouts." I blink, and smile at Spike. "Funnily enough, wooden bookshelves."

"Huh?"

"The omelet."

"Oh! Neat. Uh...varnished?"

"Yep! Good guess."

"Smooth and with layers? I can see that. Anything on the shelves?"

"Yeah, small wooden bowling sets, chilled glasses, and a couple origami samurai hats."

"...Huh. Alright, I don't get those. Guess my cooking isn't defined by logic."

"It's too good to be defined by logic, Spike!" I giggle, patting him on the head. "Thanks again for making breakfast. Sorry I spaced out a little there."

Shrugging, Spike smiles. "Don't be. I'm sure you had reason to be spaced out. Wanna talk about it?"

I hesitate. Would telling Spike put him in danger? Morpheme seems to have some sort of control over the Dream Realm, and if Spike had any concept of him, perhaps Morpheme could find him. Well...he found me, but I'm developing dream magic, that must have been easier than just pinpointing someone unaffiliated with dreams entirely.

Wait a minute.

If the last fringes of my forgotten dreams over the past few days are any indication, Morpheme was talking to me right after I got my dream magic. It's plausible he's either the root cause or at least related to why I started developing dream magic in the first place. If so, why? What does Morpheme have to gain by my gaining dream magic? I suppose that would depend on what Morpheme actually is. I'm sure if he was a Nightmare, he'd love to have a dreamwalker on his side to spread misery, but he showed no sign of the petty, single-minded manipulation that Nightmares use. He was ridiculously honest, at least I think so...he admitted he had ulterior motives, released whatever emotional roadblock he had on me, allowed my misinterpretations, and didn't force me into any agreements or anything...Grrrr! I wish I knew...

"Equestria to Twilight," Spike called, waving a hand in front of my face, and I blink several times before my eyes focus on his concerned face. "Uh, well, if you, you don't wanna talk about it then that's fine, just," he says, nervously, "if there's anything I can do to help, please tell me."

With that, I remember. I can rely on Spike, just like I can rely on my friends. I might be putting them into danger, but if things spiral out of control they'd only be putting themselves into danger for me--after all, that's what I would do.

I smile warmly at Spike, and pat his head again. "No, I can tell you. I want your advice, anyway. But," I give a small, tentative smile, "this might be a bit of a delicate subject. For now, can this stay between us?"

Spike nods slowly, clearly relieved with my affirmation of trust. "Of course, Twilight. Here, finish your omelet, and we'll talk."

He clambers back into his chair, sits for a second staring at nothing, and then glances at the ground, tapping his index claws together. "Hey...thanks, Twilight."

"No problem, Spike. You know I trust you."

He smiles. "Sure I do!"

I wolf down the rest of my omelet, and take a sip of water to clear my throat. "Alright, Spike. I think there might be some sort of dream...uh, entity, who may or may not have been responsible for my development of dream magic, and who is taking a vested interest in my continuation down the path to dreamwalker, and I have no idea what he is or what he wants."

Spike sits silently for a few moments. "Uh, what was that?"

"I think someone powerful caused me to get dream magic and I don't know why."

"Ah." Spike nods. "That's still pretty confusing, actually."

"I know, right?"

I explain my entire interaction with Morpheme to Spike, starting from the moment I noticed my dream not reacting predictably.

"And so," I say, my head resting on my hooves, "I don't know what he is, let alone why he'd give me dream magic."

"Yeah, I can see that." Spike scratches the side of his head. "And of course, you can't tell Luna because Morpheme seems pretty cagey on that front, and might skitter."

I nod. "Yeah."

Spike frowns, dragging his claw absentmindedly across the table. "...Well, from the way Morpheme talks, he's gotta be pretty old. I mean, there are ponies that are concerned with using apostrophe's correctly," here I glare at him, that change in cadence means he definitely would have put an apostrophe there, "and then there are those guys who were born when the language was being invented. Morpheme seems like that kinda guy, just going by gut feeling."

"Yeah, that makes sense, but I can't in good conscience ask Luna, and by association can't ask Celestia, and it's just really annoying...!" I put my face on the table, groaning. "I mean, I could ask Discord..."

"That's a great idea," Spike says, nodding.

I bolt upright. "Actually, you're right! That is a great idea!"

"Well, I hope you don't mind that I've been sitting here for a while now, then," Discord says, and both of us look over to see him sitting quite stiffly in one of chairs at the other table. His hands are clasped rigidly around the armrests and I can visibly see sweat dripping off his face. He gives a strained smile. "Good...morning?"

I put my hoof to my face. "Discord..."

"Yeah, not cool, man," says Spike, folding his arms. "I was just having a nice 'Twilight trusts me enough' moment, too. Bros don't eavesdrop on other bros' confidential confidant time."

I smile at Spike's use of the apostrophe correctly.

Discord slips further down in his chair. "I..."

"Actually, couldn't you have just left?" I ask, genuinely confused. "I think you could have just teleported out and neither of us could have been the wiser."

"Well, the thought did occur to me," Discord says, nodding, "but, by that time you were already explaining, and I...well, fine." He crosses his arms and glares somewhere up and to the left. "Fine! I'll tell them."

When he sees we're both staring at him, he scowls. "What? I'm allowed at least my own narrator."

We don't change our expressions. Discord sighs. "Alright already. Just wait until the story's being told from my perspective. Then you'll understand." He coughs. "Um. The reason I didn't leave. I was about to, but then I caught an earful of the name, you see."

I gasp. "You mean...you know Morpheme?"

Discord nods. "Well, to a certain extent. It was a good idea to ask me for help, even if you didn't...uh...ask...me yet." He melts into a puddle on the floor. "I'm...I'm not good at, you know...personal boundaries and whatnot, as much as it pains me to say so. I...Arghhh!" He pops up, hands on his hips. "What I'm trying to say, is, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for intruding on your...confidential confidant time."

I nod. "Apology accepted. I forgive you, Discord."

Discord blinks. "Oh, for real? Just like that?"

Spike raises a claw in a shrug. "Yeah, I agree with Twilight."

"I mean," I say, "you actually apologized. And, on your own, no less. I'm willing to forgive you if you continue to make such great strides in becoming a better draconequus."

"So it's cool with me, too," Spike says, settling down in his chair. "And, I mean we would have told you about it anyway. Don't do it again, but for now, we're cool."

Discord blinks a few times, then tilts his head. "Does it really count as 'on my own' if my narrator was forcing the matter?" he says to himself, then shakes his head. "Well, thank you nonetheless, both of you, I appreciate the stance."

"So," I say, trying to put that behind us, "you know Morpheme?"

He nods. "Yes, as a matter of fact...well," he frowns, "I suppose I don't know him as much as know of him, but Morpheme is one of the Oneiroi, the great dream spirits." Scratching his goatee, he continues, "Actually, it's probably good that you didn't tell Luna about him, she doesn't see eye-to-eye with their philosophies, and probably would have left immediately to track him down, and quite possibly attack immediately, which," he shrugs, "would lead to a host of other problems."

Grimacing, I nod. "That makes me feel a lot better about it. But, philosophies?" I prompt. "Like what?"

"Well, they tend to be much more lenient with Nightmares, for one. In fact, many of them actively encourage Nightmares to spread."

I frown. "That doesn't sound good. What's the other side of the coin?"

"Ah, so you saw what I implied." Discord stands up and walks over to one of the walls, beginning to draw on it with a piece of chalk. "Yes, the Oneiroi believe that allowing Nightmares free rein, to speak, allows creatures to become more emotionally developed, and better individuals thereof." He finishes his drawing, consisting of a bunch of symbols like the one Morpheme had as an eye, looking at Nightmares who in turn were reaching towards figures of ponies, a griffon, and a dragon.

"Of course, with all obstacles, there will be the few who break under the stress," Discord says, and one of the figures of the ponies sits down with hooves to their head, and one of the Nightmares surrounds them. "And that, I suppose, is where Luna disagrees."

I nod, slowly. "I can see that...Luna thinks everycreature deserves to be free from suffering, and that's what her job in the Dream Realm is, isn't it?"

Discord pauses for a moment, tapping the chalk against his tooth. "I...suppose that's as good a way of putting it as any," he finally says, snapping his fingers and making all the chalk disappear. "Incidentally, that's one reason why I hated Celestia and Luna when I first met them over a thousand years ago."

I narrow my eyes, interested. "What does that mean?"

"Simply that both of them wish to create a world with the least amount of suffering possible," he says, nodding. "When I was younger--in a manner of speaking--I had my own worldviews. I still do, I just don't...enforce them nearly as stringently. As much as I professed to be the Spirit of Chaos, there were some rules I assumed to be true." He sits back down with a sigh. "The inevitabilities, to be specific."

Suddenly, he looks up, and waves his hand. "But I'm getting off topic. I'll give you a notepad with my thoughts on the matter later, since you enjoy reading so much." I put a hoof to my mouth to make sure it's still closed, and no drool is coming out. Thankfully, I am reassured. "Suffice to say," Discord says, "Morpheme is one of those beings so old not even I know that much about him. He's been perfectly content, at least it seems so, to leave Luna to do her own thing, and neither of us have seen hide nor hair of him in, quite frankly, eons. It is strange to hear he's finally taking a more active role, however. Not necessarily concerning by definition, but certainly worth keeping an eye on."

I think about this for a minute. From what Discord has said, it seems Morpheme isn't really an evil, although he certainly seems much more neutral of a force than many thousand-year-old beings I know. One thing I know for sure, though, is that Morpheme showing an interest in me means that something I have is worth emerging from obscurity for. What that means exactly, I don't know, but I can tentatively assume if his plans keep going without change, big things will be shaken up.

"So," I say, breaking the silence, "I should definitely try and figure out what he wants."

Discord nods. "That would definitely be advisable. If possible, I'd like to talk to him as well. I feel like that might give us some more answers."

Something tickles the back of my mind...a memory, forgotten, is coming back.

"Beware...the one who speaks nonsense."

I blink, looking between Spike and Discord. Spike, who's been quiet for a while, looks at me in slight confusion, while Discord looks like he's been hit by a train.

"Hey, Twilight?" Spike says, scratching his cheek. "I don't speak Old Ponish."

"Huh?" I look at Discord. "But...I didn't?"

Discord shakes his head. "Twilight...did you hear that from him? You might think you said, 'Beware the one who speaks nonsense,' but to me, I heard, 'Cave inanilogistam.'"

I stare at him. "What? I'm sure I said it in Ponish, not Old Ponish."

"On second thought, Twilight," Discord says, "Morpheme might not want to see me. I think it's best if we hold off on me talking to him. I can't think of anycreature more fitting of that moniker than myself."

"Well...that's a fair point," I say, frowning. "But why would Morpheme warn me to beware of you, specifically?"

Discord shrugs. "Heavens if I know, the spirit's always loved to speak in cryptic riddles that are painfully obvious when revealed."

"Hold up," Spike says, raising his hand. "Why did Twilight speak in Old Ponish and somehow, not realize?"

I rub my eyes. "Yeah, actually, that's a little strange. Got any idea, Discord?"

"All I can think of," Discord says, slumping in his chair tiredly, "is that Morpheme already has some kind of influence on you. A side effect of purely spiritual beings is that they aren't really..." he scrunches up his face, twirling his talon in a loop. "They aren't really constrained by space the same way we are. It's quite possible he left something behind in your mind, which is already somewhat cause for concern."

"Yeah, that's not the greatest sounding thing," Spike agrees. "Sneaky. I don't like it."

"Sneaky is right, not to mention highly morally dubious, but of course beings as old as we are don't tend to take notice of such minor things as morals," Discord says, perfectly seriously.

I frown. "We'd have to find a way to confirm beyond a doubt he did, somehow, but if it is true, what reasoning could he possibly have? We don't even know his agenda with me, let alone any extraneous motives."

"But to do that, we need answers," Discord says, frustrated, and steeples his fingers in front of his mouth, his elbows on the chair rests.

The room is silent, all three of us mulling over our separate thoughts.

"So," Spike says, raising an index claw, "long story short, Twilight needs answers from Morpheme. Morpheme probably...left a fragment of himself or something on Twilight affecting her. Morpheme shouldn't talk to Luna, and doesn't want to talk to you," he points to Discord, "and it's not like Twilight can talk to him without fear of bias, 'cause of the possible fragment." He folds his arms. "So my idea is, we have to get Morpheme to talk to Twilight as well as someone else. That's not Luna or Discord. I mean, I doubt Morpheme wants to talk to anyone other than Twilight, but there might be a chance if somecreature tags along."

Discord looks off into space, and nods slowly. "Yes...I can see that. Morpheme is a rational creature by nature, he will understand your reasoning. Whether he'll use the opportunity to extend his influence to the other party, however, is something I can't predict...we'd have to have a countermeasure ready."

I put a hoof to my chin. "That might just work! That way, if we have a countermeasure, we can ask Morpheme anything, and the other party will be able to hear everything without fear of interference. The only thing I can think of that might be an issue..."

"Is Luna stumbling in and behaving a bit roughly," Discord finishes. "It would be advisable to keep her busy when we attempt this. Of course," he huffs, "this is all assuming Morpheme will even show himself to anyone apart from you. Rational does not mean willing."

"Then how about I talk to him by myself and explain what we have planned?" I say. "If he agrees, that's already a good sign, and if he refuses, that's a big red flag."

"Yes, but that's also risky," Discord says. "If his intentions are less than honest, upon learning our plan, he might choose to perform something that nullifies it, or even go so far as to foalnap you or something along those lines."

"But Discord," I say, stomping a hoof on the table, "presume goodwill! I'd like to take it in good confidence that Morpheme will behave himself."

"You wouldn't be the Princess of Friendship otherwise," says Discord. "But then again, you really can't tell with those creatures older than the hills. Some immortal you know well might be doing something ill-advised but well-meaning, like bringing back four villains simultaneously and potentially bringing about the end of Equestria, nobody can tell!"

"That was...oddly specific," Spike says, eyeing Discord.

"Well, it's not happening now, let me tell you that," Discord says, rolling his eyes. "There's just too much to deal with right now."

Spike still gives Discord a wary look, but then turns to me. "Twilight, I actually agree with Discord on this one. I'd rather you be safe then sorry, at least with this situation."

I frown, but then sigh. "If that's what both of you think, then we can think of another way. Things will get complicated, though."

"As long as you're safe, Twilight." Spike pats me on the shoulder.

"You heard the man," says Discord. "Well, who's going with her, then?"

I turn to Spike, who smiles, but Discord says, "I think they'll be talking in Old Ponish. You'd want somecreature who can understand it enough to speak." Spike pouts.

I scratch my chin. "The only ponies I know that can speak Old Ponish are Starswirl and Sunburst."

Discord spreads his hands out. "Well, there you go. Weigh your options, make a choice, we'll meet up again, all four of us. Any objections?"

Spike and I shake our heads. "I'll make doubly sure not to mention this to Morpheme if I see him again," I say.

"That's probably a good idea," Spike says, his cheek in his claw.

Discord nods. "Good, then that's settled. Sorry to conclude our merry little conspiracy for the time being, but it's almost nine and I have a garden party with Fluttershy to get to. I'm sure the otters will be devastated if I'm late, let alone Fluttershy."

I smile. "I understand. Please, don't let us stop you from being on time."

He waves, and makes to snap his fingers. "Oh," he starts. "Actually, before I go, I thought of something."

Snapping his fingers with purpose, a small, thin box appears in front of me. "I figured what better way of exploring the range of your dream magic synesthesia than this?" I take the lid off, and lift the corner of the protective paper. Smiling, I look back up. "Thanks, Discord! You're right, these gourmet variety chocolates are perfect."

He smiles. "The confections covered in curls contain chocolate cherries. Ciao!" Winking, he snaps away.

I chuckle. "Quaint. And quite convenient, completely."

Spike looks at me funny. "Those first two started with 'q.'"

"...It's assonance as much as it is alliteration, Spike."

He sighs. "I guess I can't argue with that."

I pick out a nice chocolate cherry, and go in for the bite, but Spike suddenly pipes up.

"Wait, why the otters?"

Meditation, when used properly, clears the mind and allows the senses to expand. Magic flows through oneself, unordered, unstructured. It washes over you like water over a smooth river stone. Should you change the shape of your mind, the magic changes its flow, very much like a liquid would. The ancients of the East knew this well, which is why tai chi came to be--a method of communing both with the natural world of magic...and oneself.

At the current moment, I was focusing quite solidly on the latter.

Heavens knew I didn't need to practice magic, no...my normal exercises are more than enough to keep my mind honed. Clearly, as demonstrated so thoroughly with the return of Stygian, the problem lies with my social skills. Namely, being a good friend.

My unparalleled magical feats and intelligence, while impressive, made me prideful. I became elitist, and looked down on those who I thought were less than I, forgetting my own humble origins. I began to think that I could do no wrong.

Then Stygian...fell. Into darkness. For the first time in a long time, I began to doubt myself, and, since my vices had twisted my perception, that doubt turned on others, becoming anger, disapproval, condescension. Not once did I think of looking within myself.

I would like to think I was not too far gone, for I was still willing to seal myself away in Limbo for eternity to stop the Pony of Shadows, but my motivations were clearly self-serving. I wanted to be a martyr. I would have to die eventually, unless I became an Alicorn, which was looking more and more hopeless as time progressed. Even though I surpassed the Princesses in both power and skill, my wings refused to come. If I would die eventually, I would rather seal myself away in a dream of timeless black and white, an eternal moment--and be remembered in history as a hero and a legend.

Noble intentions are often accelerated by selfish ones.

Then, after what felt like no time at all stretched into the longest wait imaginable, I opened my eyes, and looked at the real world again. I was out of Limbo, and suddenly the future I had planned was cast into doubt once more. I was certain that sealing myself and the Pillars would be the last thing I ever did, and was unprepared when it was not.

I am...deeply ashamed of the way I treated the others, especially young Twilight. She looked at me with nothing but respect and admiration, the very things I martyred myself for--yet I was jealous. The spell I was unable to finish was completed, by a mage so young, and it granted her alicornhood? I admit when I first learned this I was furious. How ironic, then, that it was precisely because of my own misunderstanding of friendship that I never finished the spell.

I watched in horror as Twilight, without hesitation, dove headlong into the Pony of Shadow's twisting corruption, all to save one pony who might have a chance to survive. She was followed, by a friend, another one she had saved from her own evils. Together, they managed to free Stygian from the tendrils of darkness, and in disbelief and confusion, we sealed the shadows in Limbo--by themselves.

I had thought of Stygian as a traitor, a blackened, irredeemable villain, but then I saw him, thin, gaunt, trembling. His eyes looked so scared, so relieved. And the worst part was, I was as scared as he was. Scared, because I had sentenced him to an eternal, endless, excruciating suffering. Scared, because I hadn't even given that unpony decision a second thought. And, scared, because I had started to realize that, yes, I could make mistakes--and had made far too many unforgivable ones.

I vowed to never make the mistake of losing myself again, and to attempt to atone for my wrongdoing, even if it was not carried out in the end. I retreated to the mountains to sequester myself, and become more in tune with my emotions and thoughts. Know thyself, it is said. But, I knew they could tell. I told the Pillars about my plan, and they understood the deeper meaning. I was afraid of myself, and afraid of them. I didn't trust myself to act in the right anymore...and I was still selfish.

Days went by, I sent letters by dragonfire. I kept a chain of letters going with every one of my friends. Months passed, and I had built a small cottage next to a cliffside. Snows fell, Hearth's Warming came and went. My friends were worried about me, and made the occasional visit, but respected my wishes. Stygian did show up one early spring morning with a bottle of wine, and aside from a little awkwardness at first, we both had a lovely time chatting and catching up with each other. That was good. I could tell he'd forgiven me already, although he told me quite a few times for good measure. I had heard he'd become something of a break-out fantasy fiction writer, but some of the anecdotes he related were new to me, and well appreciated. I got the book the next week, by mail-order. It was very well written, and despite the rather down-and-out subject matters, was surprisingly pleasing to read. I made sure to mention that to him in my next letter.

But as time went by, I found myself enjoying the routine more and more. I knew every tree and stone, I could tell apart the individual birds as they flew. Life was simple, and although I had to work hard to live here, I was content with its difficulty. I was visited by a friend or two roughly once every two weeks, and I felt better about myself and my relationships than I ever did before. Of course, I kept a rotating library inside of a room in the cliff face, and studied. Specifically, I began studying Twilight's finished spell, the one that gave her wings. Simple, yet powerful. I was impressed. Inspired, I began researching other friendship-based spells...and had started to work out a bit of the--albeit nebulous--theory, although more tests would be needed.

Which catches us up to the present. I meditate, looking within myself and identifying what thoughts lead me where. Little signs that warn when vice creeps near. Perfection is unattainable, of course, but we can try.

At a small twittering, I raise my head, smiling. "What is it, Alfonso?" The little chipping sparrow hops down off the branch and flutters down to rest on my hat, his favorite perch. He gives out a small, resolute chirp. "You rascal, I keep telling you to get off of there..." I say, but as I shake my head, I'm smiling.

Just then, a waft of green smoke darts into the clearing, startling Alfonso back into the woods. I wave him goodbye, then turn to catch the scroll as it drops into my hoof. It's a seal with a six-pointed star, Twilight must have sent me a letter sooner than expected! I unroll the paper, reading it, a small smile on my face.

That smile quickly disappears.

I glance back at my cottage, then run for a paper, hammer, and nails. I scratch 'NOT HOME, IN PONYVILLE, DON'T KNOW WHEN I'LL RETURN' and hastily nail top and bottom to the door. Locking it carefully, I speed to the library, picking up a few books in my magic and stuffing them into a saddlebag. As I exit, I cast the sealing spell, and soon the library door is indistinguishable from the cliff wall, and as sturdy.

I decide not to write a reply to her letter, seeing as I should be there in person momentarily. After a pause, I breathe out a long, long breath. Steeling myself, I close my eyes and light up my horn. I've been to Ponyville before, so this spell will be easier, but a long-distance teleport takes a lot of power.

I hope I'll be there in time.

Nuntium Pro Liberi: Umbra Et Clavis

Expected once, yet surprised by thee
Softly and swiftly in dead dark of night
Stopping to chat but with 'ere far of flight
Thou bow, take leave, and choose not to bring me.
From midnight on, I sit unfeelingly
And pensive, wond'ring how I spared your sight
Was it my works that lit the thread alight,
Or did Fate's shears mismanage destiny?
Until the sky turned pale, I, frightened and alone
Mundanely left my thoughts to frantic pace
But now that chance is, still, granting me its grace
A fool am I to ask unto the stone.
Among short lives, the soulless and the free,
I will strive east, towards the rising sun.

Print, Small. "The Unheeded." Memoirs and Vignettes III, edited by Clearsight Quarry, 2nd Edition, Panoramic Publishers, 985 L.P., pp. 98