The Strange Tales of Dr. Weird.

by Selen Vine

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Crossover
Length: 1253

GENTLECOLTS, BEHOLD! I HAVE CROSSED OVER!

Steve was your average earth pony with a science related cutie mark. Now, he is the only assistant to a deranged unicorn scientist. It's a wonder that he even survives on a daily basis. Most days he can't even manage that! Steve maybe trying to earn a living, but Dr. Weird usually has other plans for the poor guy…
(ATHF Dr. Weird/Pony Crossover)
Do not expect any continuity/sense. Obviously a comedy fic.
All Copyrighted things are owned by whomever is currently holding said copyrights. I do not own MLP or Dr. Weird and Steve.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-19 02:32:57 UTC

Steve meets the Doctor.

The castle is dark and forboding... a fitting prison to harbor the madness of one demented pony.

Reminescent of old canterlot architecture, it towers over the surounding island. A fortress dedicated to science nopony in their right mind would ever attempt. The rickety rope-bridge is the only way to access this place of exile, as the young pony could clearly see. He should not have come. This place was dangerous for full grown stallions, much less a pony who had just earned his cutie mark! His white coat and towering red mane look so out of place in the bleakness of the storm. He knows he must press on... it is his destiny. He crosses the bridge with trepidation. He has reached a gate. Padlocked. After fiddling with the offending object, he looked up into the storm in frustration. What he saw almost made him reconsider his decision. Belle Isle Asylum. This wasn't just an exiled unicorn, it was a very specific unicorn. Exiled for his madness, but still managed to carry his experiments out in secret. The young colt bucked the padlock as hard as he could, watching with satisfaction as the rusted thing fell to the ground in pieces.

As he neared the front door of the castle, the wind picked up its pace. Mad cackling echoed from within the twisted halls

of the castle. Swallowing his fears, Steve opened the front door to see a disheveled unicorn fiddling with a remote of

some kind. A yellow W adorned the flank of the purple unicorn that stood before Steve. Two white tufts of hair are all

that remain of his mane, kept warm by the clear glass cylinder encasing his head. Steve stopped, in awe of the legend that stood before him. Noticing he had an audience, Dr. Dülmen Weird paused for the longest second.

A gravelly, booming voice shook Steve from his daydreams, "You must be here for the open position! Quickly, prepare!"

Steve nearly didn't catch the lab coat and protective spectacles that were quickly launched at his head.

Donning them had filled him with a comepletness he hadn't felt since he had earned his cutie mark.

Realizing his impromptu assistant was prepared, Dr. Weird shook the room with his manly baritone, "GENTLECOLTS, BEHOLD!"

An explosion rocked the complex, obscuring what was said next. Steve's last thought was wondering just what he had gotten

himself into.

What has science done!?!

It had been years since that faithful day. The explosion from Dr. Weird's device had nearly been his end, but Steve had managed to survive. Nearly every day something of similar danger had happened. Steve had always been a resilient pony, but he feared that one day Dr. Weird's antics would be his end. He heard muttering outside of his door. Eager for a listen to one of the Doctor's rants, he pressed his ear up against the door. "Divide the square root of reality by the eagerness of a young filly, take the remainder and multiply it by Luna's Spite then distill by candle light. Imbibe after mixing with a unicorns feather to cure most skin rashes..." The noise trailed off. The Doctor was a brilliant man, but it seemed that his old age was taking it's toll on his sanity. To Steve's chagrin, it hadn't dampened his genius intellect. Steve jumped in shock when he heard the knock on his door. Shit, he was hoping that Dr. Weird would have been busy for at least another day on his mystery project. He quickly opened the door and followed the Doctor to the lab.

"Using the money graciously gifted to me by Princess Celestia, I have constructed a being that will solve one of our most pressing problems. Pausing for dramatic effect, the unicorn continued, Vegetables have threatened equine kind for generations! Behold..." Dr. Weird was rudely interrupted by a confused Steve. "Dr. Weird, weren't you given that research grant to cure Pony Pox?" Dr. Weird just stared back at Steve until , unabashed, he proclaimed in his trademark voice, "Behold,the Angelbot."

A steel shutter door slowly opened to reveal a two story tall robotic rabbit. This horrific artificial rodent had red beady eyes, stubby but razor sharp claws and pneumatic hopping action! Slightly worried for his well being, Steve began to question. " Dr. Weird, I..." Sensing dissent, Dr. Weird was quick to bark orders to derail Steve's train of thought. "Now bring me my large french perfume and spray him in the eyes, because that's how it happened to me!" Steve pressed a button, which lowered a comically shaped spray bottle that sprayed expensive french perfume in the robot's eyes.  Angered, the robot turned it's head around 360 degrees to avoid the agitating spray... but to no avail! Oddly, it shrieked like an enraged chimpanzee. Dr. Weird looked on with pride in his eyes, "Now you feel pity... don't you?!? MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

The Angelbot was tired of it's creator treating it so shamefully! Was it not his child? Deciding against any further abuse, it began to hop away. Dr. Weird's look of pride was instantly replaced with a look of rage! "The Angelbot! My creation!" The Angelbot bounded clear through the Unicornium walls of the laboratory, leaving naught but the outline of an irate bunny in the seemingly indestructible wall. Dr. Weird looked on in horror as his creation bounded down towards Ponyville. In sheer horror he cried out, "WHAT HAS SCIENCE DOOOOONE!?!" Steve facehoofed.

Dr. Weird's newest creation.

"GENTLECOLTS, BEHOLD!" The voice of Dr. Weird reverberates throughout his island home. The stone of the castle lets the sound make its way to Steve's secluded corner of a room. This is strange. Stranger than usual. The Doctor usually reserves this kind of flourish for when he is unveiling some crazy contraption in front of Steve. Steve got out of bed and pressed his hear to the door. He could now make out the Doctor's animated rant, "FOR GENERATIONS PONIES HAVE HAD TO BEAR THE SCRUTINIZING GAZE OF HUMANS... BUT NO LONGER! I HAVE CREATED... THE FOURTH WALL! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Steve wondered what this could mean. Could the Doctor have fixed the broken wall in a moment of clarity? He lazily got out of bed and stalked to the Laboratory wing of the castle. He could see the door when all Tartarus broke loose. "STEVE! YOU MISSED MY UNVEILING! GET YOUR PINK FLANK OVER HERE SO I CAN SHOUT IT AGAIN!" Steve raised his voice in confusion, "Sir, I don't know how to put this  but I'm not pink."  He was shocked to hear a loud noise, akin to the glass cracking under pressure, as he opened the door. The source of the noise was nowhere to be seen. He watched a pink earth pony merrily hop away from what looked like a black ink blot floating in mid air. She turned her head to the sky and merrily said, "Don't worry, the writer would NEVER disregard that something bad ALWAYS happens to these guys! I made him pinkie promise, and he knows what happens to those who break a pinkie promise." The writer cringed as his creation threatened him with a truly terrifying fate. Steve's ears perked up as he was deafened by an earth shattering explosion... or implosion rather. He and the Doctor screamed as they were sucked through the resulting hole in their space time continuum.

The last words he heard were from a confused Doctor, "STEVE! YOU FOOL! YOU BROKE IT!"