Twilight's Bookless Week (Celestia Help Us!!)

Chapters

The Brother-Sister Bet
Twilight And The Wet Eight
To Catch An Alicorn

The Brother-Sister Bet

Hey, Eric "Buggie" Reed here.

In Princess Twilight Sparkle's castle, in her library, Twilight and I were reading some books together, for some "big sister/little brother" bonding. We both were sitting beside each other on a purple-colored couch with about half a foot of space between us, the couch itself was near one of the bookshelves of the library and we were facing away from it. Twilight was levitating a book in front of her with her magic and was reading it out loud. It was during the mid-afternoon, and the only sounds that could be heard, save for when we said something (obviously) was the quiet humming the pink magic from Twilight's horn made.

We don't always want to read the same book at the same time, but when we do, she'll read it out loud to me. Sometimes, I'd do it, but most of the time Twi reads it, which I generally prefer, and Twilight seems to prefer it being that way too. Though I've never bothered to ask her if she does.

Twilight stopped reading to ask, "So, how you like this story so far, Buggie?"

"I like it a lot. Glad you suggested reading it, Twi."

"I don't know if I ever said this. But I'm really happy you like to read more now than you did when you first came to Equestria, because I like having somepony -- er someone -- to read with."

"Really? I guess I should've asked if you wanted to read together more often." I thought about how Spike only reads comic books, Rainbow Dash don't read much else besides Daring Do books, and Starlight usually reads by herself in her room. So before she met me, Twilight hardly ever got to read with someone about other things. I wouldn't call myself a "bookworm" by any means, but I still enjoy reading with "big sis" Twilight, and is part of the reason we grew so close. "But I take it you didn't mind reading by yourself before you came to Ponyville and met the gang, since you didn't want friends back then, save for Spike and your BBBFF?"

"Yeah. Before I came to Ponyville and learned the true value of friendship, I liked reading by myself."

"But what about Moondancer? I thought she loved reading as much as you, so you never thought to ask her if she'd want to read with you?"

"Moondancer? Yeah, she likes and might read anything, but I hardly get a chance to visit her, but I should ask her to join us sometime and you can meet her." The fact how I already knew about Moondancer only sunk in now for Twilight and, a bit confused she asked, "Wait, how you even know how Moondancer likes to read? I don't remember telling you that."

"You didn't, but most of what I know about Moondancer came from watching your 'cartoon' back in my world, but I don't know that much about her."

"Oh, right. I still sometimes forget you might be aware of some things nopony told you about."

"Ha, I think that's the fiftieth time you've said that line, Twi."

"And I think that's the forty-ninth time you told me a line like that, Buggie."

"Point taken, we do that a lot, don't we? But I doubt I love to read like you do." I turned my head to my left, where Twilight was sitting, with my eyes at the book she was holding, I thought hard about how much Twi loves to read books. As I did, I wondered if she could last long if she couldn't read. She's gone on long trips before, but she had always brought books with her so she could still read. I couldn't help but tease, "In fact, I bet you couldn't even go a week without reading a book!"

"Oh, ha-ha, very funny."

"Who said I was kidding, Princess of Books? There's a reason why a lot of us in my old world that know about you loved calling you 'bookhorse'!"

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Oh, not that nickname again! You guys could've at least called me 'bookpony', but seriously, you really think I couldn't go a week without reading a book?"

"In the words of Big Mac, 'Eeyup!' You'll never make it!"

"That's ridiculous, Buggie! I don't like reading that much!"

"Suuuure you don't." I raised my head up and placed a finger on my chin. A thought popped in my head, and I lowered my head to Twilight, with a big 'ol grin. "But if you're so sure you can do it, Twi, I have an idea. How about we make a brother-sister bet?"

Twilight must have been interested because she turned her head to me and tilted her head down to my face, but she kept the book she was still levitating where it was. Twilight and I are about the same height when standing, but my head came up to her upper chest, because of how ponies sit on couches. Thus Twilight had to look down to me here. "A brother-sister bet?"

"Yep. Today's Tuesday, so how about, starting tomorrow, you try to go without reading a book, list or anything, till next Tuesday? Then, if you break before then, you finally buy both Spike and me 'The L-a-a-a-z-y Colt Five-Thousand' we've been wanting, but you keep putting your hoof down on getting us."

Hearing my idea surprised Twilight so much, she gasped, lost her magical grip on the book she was holding and it hit the floor, and her horn stopped glowing. "What?! You and Spike still haven't given up on 'The L-a-a-a-z-y Colt Five-Thousand'?! Eric, how many times have I said that bed's not worth the nine hundred bits it costs?"

It was my turn to roll my eyes. "Twilight, sometimes you remind me of my mom when you give Spike, me, or even Starlight your 'lectures', so you probably told us nine-thousand and one times! In fact, I almost want to start calling you 'mom'."

I wasn't completely kidding; Twilight Sparkle does sometimes act more like an Equestrian mom than my Equestrian big sister. Especially during times when she uses my real name, like she just did, and not the nickname she and "big sis" Starlight gave me. Since she can't send me back to my old world, maybe Twilight's subconsciously trying to fill the roles of not just my human big sisters, but also my mom, even though I'm eighteen years old, so I'm not exactly a "kid".

"Oh, you're in one of your more joking moods today, huh?"

"Fine, I guess I am in more of a joking mood than usual." With a sneaky smile, I leaned my head closer to Twilight by about two inches. "But what's wrong, big sis? You don't think you'll last the full week?

"No, it's not that. It's just..." Twilight slightly tilted her head down, then after a few seconds, she groaned, "Fine. I'll do it."

"You mean it? You'll really buy Spike and me each 'The L-a-a-a-z-y Colt Five-Thousand' if you don't make it the whole week? This isn't a trick is it, because you and I both know I can't outsmart you when you're ready for me, Twi, and I'm not joking this time."

Twilight sighed, and responded, "You really shouldn't sell yourself short like that, but I promise, it's not a trick. If I can't make it to next Tuesday, I will buy you and Spike that overpriced bed."

I wasn't sure if I could've actually got Twilight to do it, so when she said she'll take the bet, I almost jumped off the couch we were sitting on in happiness, but the only movement I did was leaning my head away from Twi. "Yes! I can't wait till you--"

But Twilight interrupted, "Not so fast. You said this is a brother-sister bet, so you have to offer something too."

"Okay, what do you want me to do if you last to next Tuesday?"

"If I make it, you will have to reorganize all the books of the library for me, every other week, for two months, by yourself, and without the help of spells from Starlight." Twilight's voice tone became a more joking one as she added, "And if you try to get out of it, I'll ground you for three months."

Twilight giggled at her "grounding me" remark, which I more or less ignored, because my mouth was too busy dropping at what she'll make me do if I lost our bet! "What?! All the books?!" With a frown, I lifted my head to look around the room to the hundreds, no, thousands of books on the bookshelves, which lines the walls of nearly the whole library, and covers a little over two-thirds of the walls. "If you make me do it by myself, I'll never finish reorganizing them!"

Now Twilight leaned her head down to me with a smirk and taunted, "Oh, what's wrong, little bro? I thought you were so sure I wouldn't last a week without reading?"

"Well, yeah, Twi, but...ohh..." I again turned my head to the books all around us, but I couldn't back down now. Twilight had me, and as I looked up at her, the grin on her face and the look in her purple eyes showed she knew it. After a few seconds, I gave a big sigh and answered, "Okay. If you make it the whole week, I'll do it."

"So, is that a bet, son, uh, I mean, little bro?"

"Ha, now who's in a more 'joking mood'? But it's a bet, big sis."

With both of us giggling, Twilight raised a hoof to me. I "fist-pumped" it, then Twilight leaned her head up to where it was before.

"So, starting tomorrow, no books for you for a week."

"Yep, but that's future Twilight's problem so, for now, I'll make the most of the time I have for today."

"What you mean?"

I got my "answer" when Twilight's horn glowed pink again. A bunch of books from the bookshelves lining the walls of the library, all glowing pink, flew in from every direction and were all laid in front of us. It was like a mountain of books, maybe two hundred of them, and the height of the "mountain" was twice as tall as either Twilight or me.

"Let me guess: you're going to try to get as much reading out of your system as you can, aren't you, Twi?"

"Maybe?" Twilight replied in a cute voice tone. Her face was a bit red, with a little embarrassed grin, and she looked adorable. Or in Twilight's case, adorkable; she does that sometimes.

"I knew it. Well, you might as well try it, because this week will be like 'Lesson Zero' all over again!"

"Huh? What do you mean by 'lesson zero', Buggie?"

"Oh, uh, nothing, I was thinking about something else. But you go ahead and read as much as you can so it's out of your system, because you are going to need all the help you can get!"

Twilight seemed like she wanted to try to counter my last jab, but she had nothing, so she didn't say anything back. Instead, Twilight picked up the book she was reading out-loud with her magic, turned her head to it so she wasn't facing me, and got back to reading it. I, in turn, cooled it with the jokes and listened quietly. After she was done with it, I had enough and left the library to tell Spike about the bet. Twi stayed, and read more books by herself.

And yes, I was thinking about that episode when Twilight lost her mind and went nuts.

In the quiet hallways of the castle, outside my open bedroom door, I was telling Spike, as well as Starlight about that bet I made with Twilight.

"So, let me get this straight. Starting tomorrow, Twilight's going to not read any books, or anything, till next Tuesday?"

"Yep, Spike, and Twi said that if she can't do it, she'll finally buy us each 'The L-a-a-a-z-y Colt Five-Thousand' we've tried so hard to get her to buy us."

A big smile formed on Spike's face. "WHAT?! She will? Twi really said she would buy us each 'The L-a-a-a-z-y Colt Five-Thousand' if she doesn't make it to next Tuesday without reading?!"

With a grin on my own face, I answered, "Yep! So when she cracks, she's gonna buy us each that bed." I stopped grinning and a scowl took its place when I thought about my boss at the spa, where I've worked at during the last month. "But if my witch of a boss at the spa weren't so bucking cheap with my hourly salary and give me more hours, I wouldn't have even asked Twi about the beds, since I don't want to depend on her too much."

"Yeah, I know, and I still say you should ask Rarity to hire you part-time at one of her shops, Buggie." Starlight advised.

I sighed, and Starlight and I had this discussion before. "And I want to ask her too, Starie. But I've told you about a saying in my old world about how you don't hire your friends. Even though this is Equestria, not my old world, I'd rather not take any chances by asking Rarity to hire me."

Starlight sighed and backed off. "Well, I guess I can understand. But what if Twilight makes it the whole week?"

"If she does, I will have to reorganize the whole library, every other week for two months, and I'll have to do it by myself. And I wouldn't be able to ask you to cast spells on me to help."

"And Twilight has a lot of books, so without help, that wouldn't be fun for you, Eric."

"No, no it would not, Spike! But I'm not worried. There's no way Twilight Sparkle could go a week without her books."

"I don't know. Twilight really didn't want to buy you and Spike those beds, so she's gonna try hard to not read anything."

Spike chimed in, "Oh, yeah, that's right, Eric. Twilight's one of the most determined ponies in all of Equestria, so she might last the whole week."

Hearing that got me a bit nervous, and I even facepalmed. "Oh...yeah, I forgot about that. Twi doesn't give up easily on anything she's serious about. But still, she loves her books too much, so even she might not have enough fight in her to make it."

"I hope you're right. You don't have magic, so reorganizing the library would be a lot tougher for you than for Twilight when she does it."

"And I'd cast an Accelero spell on you to help, but you said Twilight wouldn't let me do that if you lose. But we'll see if she loves books as much as you think, starting tomorrow."

On the next day, Twilight started her no-book week. Ponyville was even more peaceful than usual with no issues, and she didn't have any "princess" stuff to do, so being unable to read would be even tougher for her, because she'd usually do it more doing these times. But Twi can't do that now, unless she buys a certain Dragon and human each a "L-a-a-a-z-y Colt Five-Thousand".

Even so, during the first two days, whether it was counting or cleaning something, helping Applejack at her farm, having "Twilight Time" with the CMC, practicing spells with Starlight, or whatever, Twilight found things to amuse herself during the times she'd normally read something, and she truly seemed okay. In fact, she looked to be doing so well, I got more worried that Twi might actually last the full week and force me to reorganize her library every other week, for two months, after she won our bet. Gulp.

However, on the third day, the effects of not being able to read started to show on Twilight. Some of the hair on her mane was out-of-place, making it slightly frazzled. She talked a lot more than normal, had moments when she'll talk a bit faster as well, flew all over Ponyville looking for someone to help, and got on our friends' nerves. She even annoyed Pinkie Pie. Pinkie Pie! Despite Twi getting on my nerves, and sometimes being like a purple shadow I was stuck with, I thought it would be more than worth it when she finally taps out, and buys that bed. But she refused to give up, became worse as the day went on, and some of us even tried to hide from that pony.

Now it's around noon of day four of Twilight's bookless week. Relaxing in the library in Twilight's castle, in a couple of chairs, about two feet from each other but facing the same direction, sit Spike and me. We were each holding a cup full of apple juice and were trying to decide what to do for our "bro time". Part of the reason we picked the library to relax in was simply to hide from Twilight. Usually, if you want to hide from Twilight Sparkle, the library in the castle is one of the last places you run to, but we thought being surrounded by books would be too hard on Twi, so she'd stay out. Unless she's ready to cave and gives up the bet, that is.

Spike took a sip of that apple juice. "So, how Twilight's doing today, Eric? You think she's gonna give up the bet?"

"I haven't seen her yet, so I don't know for sure. But I do know she was a royal pain yesterday! I wasn't sure if she'd ever shut up or leave us alone!"

"Tell me about it. She was worse than Pinkie Pie! She wouldn't stop talking or asking me, or anypony if they wanted her help."

'Yeah, even for her, Twi took being a "goody-goody" to another level. But enough about her; we still haven't picked what to do for our 'bro time'."

"Well, what about we--"

Twilight, almost on cue, teleported into the room, right in front of us. It made both Spike and me gasp and we nearly dropped our cups, since she usually doesn't teleport into rooms like that, unless something's seriously wrong...but I guess there was something wrong: her. She kept her wings flapping so she remained airborne by about a foot, and she stared at us with a friendly, yet somewhat creepy smile. Twi's mane looked about as frazzled as it did on the third day, but now her tail was just as frazzled. Her left eye twitched a couple of times, but other than that and her wings, she wasn't moving a muscle. Well, so much for being safe from her in the library.

Spike stuttered, "U-uh, Twi? W-what are you doing?"

"Oh, me? Nothing, nothing at all, I'm just trying to find something to do because I'm soooo bored. What are you two up to?"

I tried to answer, "Uh, well, we were--"

Flying around the room, but still facing us, talking faster and faster as she went on, Twilight offered, "Because if you two need some help with something, anything, and I mean anything at all I, the Princess of Friendship, is at your service." Twi pointed a hoof at herself. "What can I do for you two?"

"But, we don't need any--"

Twilight flew beside Spike, wrapped a foreleg around and pulled him to her, which cut him off from what he was saying. "Maybe I could cook you guys something, because you're always the one to cook, Spike, and I owe it to you? How about pancakes because you like them right? Do you want plain or blueberry pancakes?"

Spike tried to answer, "But we don't have what we need for--"

Twilight, still with that big smile, took her foreleg off Spike, flew to me, so she's flying beside me. I leaned away a little, but Twi wrapped a foreleg around the upper part of my back and pulled me to her, like she did with Spike.

"Okay, then how about we play a board game? You enjoy board games, right? Right?" Twilight asked while nodding her head, with her mane flapping with her nodding, I guess hoping it would make me more likely to say I'd play. Unfortunately for her, even if I wanted to, there were no board games in the castle. The few we have were currently with Starlight and she was away from the castle with Trixie; and they were also hiding from Twilight.

"But, Twi, we don't have any--"

Twilight flew to the open door of the room, still staying airborne, and her left eye twitched again. "Then how about we get a bite out to eat? We can go anywhere you want, and it's my treat!"

"But Eric and I have already--"

Twilight flew back in front of Spike and me to the same spot she was when she first teleported into the room. "Then, uh, how about I give you two a massage?" Twilight flew over to me again, but didn't wrap a foreleg around me this time. "You give them at the spa all the time, Buggie, and it's time you got one yourself, so let big sis give you and Spike a massage!"

I yelled, "NO!" but I immediately cleared my throat and much more calmly added, "Uh, I mean, no, we're good, big sis."

In case you thought I yelled "NO!" because Twilight was bugging me, not quite. Twi once tried to give me a massage when my back was sore and...oh boy. Twilight Sparkle can do a lot of things, but giving massages to humans isn't one of them! After only five seconds of it, that Alicorn made my back hurt so bad, I had to stay in bed for three days before my back felt well enough to leave it! I guess in the state Twilight's in right now, it slipped her mind. Or what's left of it.

"Okay, so how about the three of us go and...uh...well..."

As the Princess of desperation had her head tilted up and a hoof on her cheek, struggling to think of something, a grin appeared on my lips. "I have an idea."

"You do, Buggie?!" Twilight moved her hoof off her cheek and flew right in front of my face, looked me in the eyes, with that friendly yet creepy smile, and her left eye twitched again. "What is it? What is it? Ask me anything, anything at all!"

You know, some bronies would've had...ideas in their heads if Twilight begged them to ask her anything, but not me. I simply pointed to my left at one of the bookshelves. "You could read one of those books."

"Okay, I will! Anything you want!" Twilight's smile became a more "normal" cute one when she picked up a red book with her magic off the bookshelf and pulled it to her. Her smile grew even bigger and was about to open it, till she realized what she was doing. Her eyes widened, gasped, that big smile turned to a frown, and the book she was holding hit the floor. "Oh, no, no, no! Nice try, but I'm not giving up that bet!" Twi's friendly but creepy smile returned, and, while talking faster than ever, she begged, "But you two gotta need something. Come on, please, just tell me, tell me! You can tell me! What is it?!"

Buck, I almost had her. But Spike groaned, "Seriously, Twilight, we don't need anything! But if you're so bored, how about you see how fast you can fly in the castle or something?"

Twilight's left eye twitched again. "Oh, that's a good idea, Spike!"

"Wait, I was jok--"

Before Spike could finish, Twilight, still airborne, flapped her wings harder, then flew from one side of the library after another. As she did, she counted under her breath, with a few giggles mixed in. At first, she stayed in the room, so she flew over our heads in what felt like random directions. But after about twenty dashes, she flew out one of the doors to the library, which Spike and I were facing away from, flew throughout the castle, counting to herself and giggling.

Spike took his head as he asked, "She's not going to make it, is she, Eric?"

"Nope, Spike. Soon, we're gonna be sleeping good in our 'L-a-a-a-z-y Colt Five-Thousands'." A thought popped in my head, and I joked, "But maybe it's for the best that she's flying so much. Flying burns more calories than walking, and Twi's had a bit too much cake lately, if you know what I mean." With a smirk, I gave a wink.

Laughing, Spike warned, "Oh, you better hope Twilight didn't hear that, Eric!"

Spike kept laughing, and I burst out of laughter too. After about five seconds, something hit the back of my head, making both Spike and me stop laughing. As I rubbed my head, Spike and I spun our heads to see what it was; the red book that Twilight dropped a moment ago, and from where it hit me, somepony threw it from the open door of the library, though I saw no one there. However, I heard annoyed mumbling coming from the hallways.

"It was worth it!" I yelled out, with another chuckle. I guess Twilight wasn't freaking-out bad enough to not get mad at those kinds of jokes, but I really should watch it. As one of the strongest ponies in Equestria, Twilight Sparkle could put me in a world of hurt if she really wanted to.

But on the fifth day, things became even more...interesting, for my favorite princess.

Opening up one of the green doors to the room with the Friendship Map, I called out, "Hey, Twi, do you want to--" I spotted Twilight pacing back and forth near her chair by The Map, muttering under her breath, making me stop in my tracks. The door I picked to come in the room was in front of Twilight's chair, so she was pacing only about three feet away from me. Her mane and tail were more frazzled than before. Her left eyelid was open wider than the other, and it twitched every five seconds or so. "Uh...Twi? You all right?"

Still pacing back and forth, Twilight turned her head to me, with a more crazed smile when before. I took a few steps back as she babbled, "Oh, yes, I'm fine. I'm very, very fine. Sure, I can't read any books because of our bet, there's nothing to clean, I'm bored with testing my speed and I'm tired of counting books, sheets of paper, spoons, forks, plates, rocks, trees, ponies I see outside, how many times Pinkie Pie hops or steps you take in a minute--"

"Wait, did you say you've counted how often Pinkie hopped, and how many steps I took?"

Twilight went from pacing back and forth in a line, to walking in circles, with her left eye still twitching every five or so seconds. "Yep. I saw that when walking non-stop, you take an average of one-hundred and eight steps, and Pinkie takes an average of fifty-one hops in a minute. But I'm bored with that, you don't want me to try to massage you and I know you already ate, Spike still doesn't need me for anything, I asked Rainbow Dash if she wanted to race but said she doesn't want to, I already finished all of Applejack's chores for her, Pinkie Pie did all the baking she'd need to do today, Fluttershy said she's good with her animals so she doesn't need my help with them, Rarity has enough help at her stores, Starlight's with Trixie so I can't practice spells with her and I'm tired of that anyway, the CMC seem to be hiding because I can't find them anywhere, Discord told me to stop bugging him, and I'm seeing little purple and blue books floating in front of me that are not really there because I tried to touch them but I couldn't. But even so, I'm still just fiiiiiine."

Yeah, my big sister did not sound "fine", and I could barely follow everything she just said.

"You're 'fine' huh, Twi?" I walked out of the room, came back through the same door, holding a green book from the library, and held it near Twilight's face, who was still walking in circles. She stopped, smiled cutely while looking at it, but said nothing. I slowly moved the book from side to side a few times and she moved her face in sync with it, with her eyes locked on it. "You sure you don't want to end our bet and get Spike and me those beds? You're not looking so good."

Twilight shook her head and took some steps back. "Nope! Nope, nope, nope! I said I would make it the whole week, and I'm going to do it!"

About to turn away, I said, "We'll see, big sis."

"Yeah, we'll...oh!" Twilight's eyes suddenly got big, her smile changed from a "cute" one to a more crazed one, flapped her wings, and flew right at me!

I gasped, dropped the book I was still holding, turned away, gritted my teeth, and prepared for impact. But instead of slamming into and possibly injuring me -- I'm not as durable as ponies -- Twilight changed her direction just enough to swerve around me, and a weak gust of wind blew over me from her wings' flapping. Twi, with her magic, grabbed a bucket of water and a cloth that was by the Cutie Map (from earlier cleaning I guess) and wiped the top part of the door I came in from, hard.

I gave a relieved sigh that she didn't level me but still yelled, "Twilight, watch where you're flying! You almost hit me!"

But Twilight wasn't listening and she, mainly to herself, said, "Oh, yeah, I missed this bit of dirt. Well, don't you worry, I'll clean it riiiiiight now!"

Twilight wiped the same part of the door over and over, and then flew to a different green door, cleaning a part that was "dirty", talked to herself faster and faster till I couldn't even understand what was coming out of her mouth. As the Princess of Cleaning was busy...cleaning, I walked backward out of the room, thinking about the L-a-a-a-z-y Colt Five-Thousand I'd be getting soon. I walked backwards because I wanted to keep a close eye on Twilight, who was still flying from one door to another, and to the windows, in case she did another "fly-by". The room of The Friendship Map has several doors that led to it from every direction of the room, so Twi was flying all over the place, talking to herself.

That night, I don't think Twilight got much sleep, because outside my closed bedroom door I sometimes heard her muttering, as well as hoofsteps, when I was in my room trying to sleep.

But things went downhill even more for poor Twilight, and for that matter, the rest of us. Or instead of "Twilight", I should probably say "mom" because of what that pony's going to do to anyone near her, at the start of day six of her bookless week.

Author's Note

What did Eric mean in his last lines? Will anyone get through whatever Twilight's/"mom's" going to do in Chapter two?

Twilight And The Wet Eight

Well, this was becoming an...interesting week. I bet Twilight that she couldn't go a week without reading any books and she actually took the bet, which to be honest surprised me. If I win, she'll buy Spike and me each "The L-a-a-a-z-y Colt Five-Thousand" bed that we've wanted, but she says isn't worth the bits and thus refuses to buy for us.

But if Twi wins, I'll have to reorganize the books in her library, every other week, for two months, which would be a nightmare because she has so many! But, of course, she'd have to last the full week, which wouldn't be easy. As the first five days of our bet went on, she fell more and more apart, and one of the world-famous (for bronies) Twilight Sparkle breakdowns seemed to be imminent.

Now in the early afternoon of day six of Twilight's bookless week, after I got done having some fun at Applejack's farm with Apple Bloom, when she showed off her potions to me, I returned to Twilight's castle, along with Applejack. As soon as we went through its front doors, our noses picked up a sweet aroma of what smelled like lemons, stopping us in our tracks and we both gasped. The floor had little spots of water on it. Water ran off the walls and windows and it dripped from the tables and the ceiling in the room. There was even water on the stairs. Heh, I wonder who wanted to clean everything, with lemon-smelling soap?

Spike, with water dripping off him too, was lying on the floor panting, but stood up once he saw us walk in and yelled, "Eric, Applejack! Twilight keeps cleaning everything in the castle! You better get out of here!"

"Spike? What happened in here, and why in tarnation are ya so wet?"

"And why do we need to get out of here if Twi's cleaning everything in the castle? Sure, she can be a bit OCD about that, especially now, but..."

"No, it's not that she's just cleaning everything, but she keeps cleaning everything, and I mean everything she sees!" Spike tried to take some steps towards Applejack and me, but he slipped and fell on his back. "Oh, no, no, no!"

Before Applejack or I could ask Spike if he was okay and why he yelled "oh, no, no, no!" Twilight teleported herself in front of us, along with a bathtub full of water and bubbles, too small for a full-grown pony or me, but big enough for something the size of Spike, as well as three white rags. Twi suddenly teleporting in the room made me yelp and jump backward, and man did she not look good! Her mane and tail were even more of a mess than before, her mane looked "spiky", both her eyelids were wider than normal and they twitched almost non-stop. She now had bloodshot eyes, her pupils moved independently in random directions, and her head turned just as randomly in one direction after another. Twi had a creepy as buck smile, a crazed giggle even came out of her mouth, and was flapping her wings to keep herself airborne by about a foot.

Yep, Twilight Sparkle has finally lost it, and is in full-blown "Lesson Zero" mode.

But it was at this moment I realized that it's less funny, and a lot scarier, when you're in the sight of the pony, in range of her magic, and not safely watching her on your TV. I gulped and Twilight, after about five seconds, slowly turned her head to Spike, grabbed and pulled him to her with her magic with him yelling at her to let him go and, with a splash, dumped Spike into the bathtub she bought with her! With a creepy, manic laugh that made chills go down my back, Twilight proceeded to wipe Spike all over with one of the rags she still held with her magic to "clean" him, while dunking him completely in the water a few times in-between wipes, with drops of water splashing on the floor around the tub.

"Twilight! I'm *cough* clean already, so quit it!"

"But you have a speck of dirt on you, Spike, and it just needs to be cleaned!"

After ten seconds of dunking, flipping, and wiping Spike in that tub, Twilight lifted him up, released her magical grip while he was still in the air, and he fell to the floor on his stomach with a wet thud. With Spike coughing and gasping for air, Twi's twitching eyes locked in on Applejack and me, and that creepy smile on her face grew bigger. Oh, this could end badly.

"Uh, Twi...what's goin' on in that head of yours...?"

"And, big sis, why are you staring at us like that...?"

Twilight's horn glowed, making my heart skip a beat, and she fired a purple beam in front of her at the floor. A much bigger bathtub, about two feet high, five feet long, and about a foot wide, appeared in that spot on the floor and like the small one, it was full of water and bubbles. Twi asked in a crazed voice, "You two were at the farm and it has a lot of messy, messy dirt, right?"

"Uh, yeah, we were, but--"

As Applejack was saying that, I was busy turning around to the door behind me that Applejack and I just walked through, and was about to run for it! But Twilight's an Alicorn, and if an Alicorn doesn't want you to go anywhere, unless a pony like Starlight Glimmer's around to teleport you out of here, you're going nowhere.

Thus, before either Applejack or I could even take a step, we both found ourselves surrounded by pink magic and pulled through the air towards Twilight. As it happened, Applejack's hat got levitated off her head, the white hat on my head with a design of my friends' Cutie Marks did the same thing, my white shirt was pulled off over my head, my shoes came off my feet, and both Applejack and I were thrown into that bathtub! Barely able to move in Twilight's magical grip, Applejack and I both got flipped around and dumped in and out of the water, with water splashing on the floor, while we coughed and yelled whenever our heads surfaced the water. Twi wiped me with a different rag that she used on Spike, on my head, chest, back, arms, and the lower part of my legs. Applejack got wiped in a similar way with one of the other rags. Like she did during Spike's "bath", Twi laughed in manic fashion that made me think about Midnight Sparkle.

"Twilight, have *cough* you lost your mind?! Let *cough* us go!"

"Yeah! And we all know you're *cough* the closest I have to *cough* an Equestrian mom, but this is *cough* overdoing it, Twilight!"

Twilight paid us no mind or, in her current state, the pony simply didn't care, and she just kept on dunking us in that bathtub and wiping us with her rags, while crazily laughing. After about ten seconds, the Princess of forced bathing finally lifted Applejack and me from the tub and, like with Spike, released her magical grip while we were still in the air, making us hit the floor on our stomachs with a wet thud, coughing, gasping for air, and dripping water. Oh, and in case you're wondering, Twilight didn't try to take my pants off. Even in such a freaked-out state, she knows to never do that. And go ahead and get any jokes out of your system about me taking a bath with a mare.

"Now you two are clean!" Twilight crazily declared, then teleported herself, the white rags and both the smaller and larger tubs somewhere.

Spike shook his head and stood up. "I tried to tell you two to get out of here."

"*pant* *pant*...okay, I knew Twilight was startin' to lose it because of that silly bet she has goin' with Eric, but I didn't know she was this bad."

I got off my stomach and stood up. "And the way Twi is now, we're gonna be getting those beds, Spike, so these 'baths' will be worth it."

Applejack, getting up from her stomach, muttered, "Speak for yourselves."

"Ha, you two should count yourselves lucky. At least you guys haven't gotten three baths, like I got from her. And it's not any easier after the first time."

"Wait, she did that to you three times?!" Thinking about what Spike said about getting three baths, I took a few steps, but I wasn't as careful as I should've been. My left foot slipped on the still-wet floor, and I fell flat on my back.

"Are you okay, Eric?" Spike walked up to check on me, but after three steps he slipped and landed on his back too.

"Whoa, there, be care--" Applejack slipped and joined Spike and me on the floor, but on her stomach.

Twilight suddenly teleported herself in front of us, with the tub she gave Applejack and me a "bath" in, along with the three wet rags she just used, staring at the three of us with that crazy smile again.

Applejack pointed her hoof at Twilight and ordered, "Twilight, don't you dare!"

Of course, it did nothing. The next thing we knew, Spike, Applejack and I got pulled to Twilight by her magic and she, while laughing crazily, threw all three of us in that tub again. Twi flipped, dunked and wiped us with her rags, with water splashing out of the tub, while we yelled and coughed whenever our heads were above water.

"Twilight, why are you *cough* doing this again?! This is my *cough* fourth time!"

Applejack threatened, "Twilight Sparkle, if you *cough* don't let us go right now--!"

"But you three fell on the floor, so I gotta get that messy, messy dirt off you!"

"What 'dirt'?! You *cough* already have the floor spotless, mom! Leave *cough* us alone!"

"Nope, not till you're niiiiice and clean, but don't worry, it won't take much longer!"

Ten seconds of that bath, Twilight lifted the three of us out of the tub, released her magical grip on us the same way as before, so we hit the floor on our stomachs again with a wet thud, dripping water, coughing and panting. Then, with a giggle, she teleported herself, her tub and rags somewhere again.

I turned my head to Spike and admitted, "Spike, you weren't kidding about it not being any easier after the first time."

"Told you."

"Okay, Spike, Eric, we gotta do somethin' about Twilight before she--"

We heard some knocking on the door to the castle, and as I put my shirt, hat and shoes back on, with Applejack doing the same with her hat, Spike walked to the door, while looking down to not step on a part of the floor that's particularly wet. When he opened it, a smiling Rarity was there.

"Hello there, Spikey-Wikey," Rarity greeted, but frowned when she saw Spike, Applejack and me, and for that matter the whole castle dripping water. "And why are you three wet?"

Spike answered, "It's because of Twilight! She's cleaning everything she sees, and I mean everything she sees!"

"Yeah, so you better get out of here, Rarity!"

Instead of taking my warning, Rarity tilted her head a bit to the side and asked, "She's cleaning 'everything she sees'? Whatever do you three mean by--"

Twilight, along with that tub she used on Applejack, Spike and me, a dry white rag, and with that 'smile', teleported back in the room! But this time Twi stared at Rarity.

"Umm, Twilight? Is there something wrong?"

"You were busy making dresses earlier, and worked up a sweat, right, Rarity?"

"Well, I don't know if I 'worked up a sweat', but--"

Twilight's creepy smile got bigger, and yelled, "That's all I need to hear!"

Now Rarity found herself surrounded by pink magic and was pulled to a "laughing" Twilight, who proceeded to dunk her in the tub! Like she did with Spike, Applejack and me, Twi flipped and dunked Rarity in and out of the water, wiped her head, back, legs, and stomach, and Rarity coughing and yelling when her head was above water.

"T-Twilight! What is *cough* the meaning of this?! Release me right now!"

"Nope, nope! I gotta get that messy, messy sweat off you, Rarity!"

With Rarity screaming and coughing, Twilight continued to dunk, lift, and wipe her with a rag for about ten seconds. Once Twi was done with Rarity, she lifted her out of the tub and dropped her on the floor with a wet thud, with the poor Unicorn coughing, panting, dripping water, and her normally "glorious" mane drooped downwards.

"There you go, Rarity! All that messy, messy sweat is gone now!" Twilight teleported away with the tub and rag again.

Applejack shook her head. "We tried to tell ya to leave."

After her coughing and panting stopped, Rarity asked, "Not that I don't mind being clean, but can somepony please explain what was that about?"

"What's going on is the bet I made with Twilight has made her go nuts!

"You mean about her not reading for a week?"

Spike, Applejack and I all replied, "Yep!"

Rarity stood up, with water still dripping from her drooped mane. "I see. But she can't keep doing things like that, so we need to do something before she--"

We heard another knock on the door. This time, I, walking and looking down the same way Spike did to make sure I wouldn't slip, opened the door, and it was Rainbow Dash on the other side.

"Hey, is Twilight here?" Rainbow looked around to see everything, including everyone in the room dripping water. "And why are you four and everything so wet?"

I explained, "To answer your first question, Rainbow, oh yeah, Twilight's here all right. And second, everything's all wet because of her. She's cleaning everything she sees, and I mean everything she sees!"

"Yeah, so ya better get out of here while ya still can, Rainbow!" Applejack warned.

"But why would I--"

Twi again teleported herself in the room, with her tub, a dry white rag, and stared at Rainbow with that creepy smile.

"Uh...Twilight? What are you thinking?"

"With all the flying you do, Rainbow, you gotta have some messy, messy dust particles on you from the air, right?

"Wait, 'dust particles'? I mean I guess I do, but--"

That was all Twilight needed to hear. She pulled Rainbow to her, threw her in the tub, gave her a bath, with Rainbow yelling and coughing when her head was above water. Again, Twilight was laughing in her crazy, manic voice that I should have her promise to never do again, once she's back to her senses.

"Okay, Twilight, I'm clean! Let me go!"

"But I gotta clean every dust particle off you, Rainbow! It's what a gooood friend does!"

After ten seconds, Twilight got every "dust particle" off Rainbow and dropped her on the floor with a wet thud, with Rainbow coughing, panting and dripping water, then teleported away with her tub and rag.

"We tried to tell you to leave, Rainbow," Rarity said while shaking her head.

"Okay, what is her deal?!"

"The 'deal' is that Twilight's gone out of her mind without her books!" Applejack explained.

But before Rainbow could say that we should do something about Twilight, we heard another knock on the door. This time, Rarity went to it, carefully, and Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy were there, and Pinkie was doing her trademark hopping, complete with the "springing" sound effect it does.

Before they even tried to greet us, Applejack warned, "Guys, I gotta tell ya that Twilight's cleanin' everythin' she sees, and I mean everythin' she sees!"

"So you two need to leave before it's too late!" Rarity said.

"Wait, she's 'cleaning everything'?"

Pinkie rubbed her head. "And why would we need to--"

Twilight teleported herself, with "the smile" the tub and had two dry white rags this time, with her eyes on Pinkie and Fluttershy.

"Fluttershy, you gotta have a lot of messy, messy dirt from cleaning your animals, and Pinkie, I bet you worked up a sweat from all the hopping you do, right?

"Uh, after cleaning Angel, I guess I have a bit of--"

Yep, here we go again. Twilight didn't even give Pinkie a chance to say anything; while giving "the laugh" she simply grabbed both her and Fluttershy, threw them in the tub, and gave them "the royal treatment" that I hoped she wouldn't give me again!

"Twiiiilight! I already *cough* took a bath!"

"Not that I don't appreciate this, Twilight *cough* but I can take my own bath!"

"But you can never be too careful, Pinkie! And helping others is something a gooood friend does, Fluttershy, so I'll do it for you!"

Ten seconds of that bath, the Princess of Gooood Friendship lifted and dropped both Pinkie and Fluttershy to the floor with a wet thud, then teleported the tub, two rags, and herself out of the room. Like the rest of us were when Twi got done with us, Pinkie and Fluttershy lay on the floor, coughing, panting, and dripping water from their drooped manes.

Rainbow shook her head. "We tried to tell you two to leave."

Pinkie shook herself off, sending drops of water in every direction, making the rest of us have to raise a hoof or arm up to try to cover ourselves. "Okay, what just happened?"

"Twilight's lost her mind is what happened!" Rarity replied.

Spike bought up, "You know, if Discord were here, he'd probably enjoy all this...chaos."

Seemingly on cue, Discord teleported himself in the room, and asked, "Did somepony say 'chaos'?" Discord looked around, saw everything and everyone dripping water, though Pinkie wasn't dripping as much. "Ooh, what happened here? It looked like" -- Discord snapped his fingers and with a poof, a cloud appeared over all of us except himself -- "you had a shower in here." Discord snapped his fingers again and the clouds vanished with another poof.

"Discord, Twilight is cleaning everything in the castle that she sees, and I mean everything she sees!"

"Yeah, what Rarity said, so you better get out of here!" Rainbow warned.

"Well, as long as she doesn't try to bug me" -- Discord snapped his fingers and what looked like a roach appeared beside him for a second -- "like she kept doing the last three days, then I don't care what little miss cleaning--"

"Little miss cleaning" teleported herself, her tub and a dry rag, and by now you can probably guess who she was staring at, with her biggest, craziest looking smile yet. Oh, boy, this could be interesting!

"Hi there, Discord. That chaos realm of yours gotta be messy, messy, right?"

"Wait, 'messy'? What, you think I don't--"

In what should make every "Top Ten Moments of MLP:FIM" list ever if this is on TV, Twilight grabbed Discord with her magic, pulled him to her, and threw him in the tub! With Discord coughing any time his head was above water, Twilight wiped him all over with the rag, dunked him in and out of the water, with water splashing everywhere. Yep, Princess Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship, gave Discord, The Lord of Chaos, a bath, and for some reason, Twilight's laugh was even more creepy and crazed than before.

This was just too good. We couldn't believe what we were seeing, and our eyes were wide open!

"Twilight Sparkle! Have *cough* you gone crazy?!"

"We don't spend much time together, Discord, so I need to make it up to you by cleaning you up!"

Ten seconds of that bath, Twilight lifted and dropped Discord to the floor, with a wet thud, with him panting and coughing. Twi, once again, teleported her tub, rag, and herself away.

Pinkie shook her head. "We tried to tell you to get out of here."

Seeing Discord lying on the floor, dripping water, coughing and panting, knowing it was because Twilight gave him a bath, I couldn't help but laugh and said, "You know, Discord? With all the times you tried to get under Twilight's skin, you deserved that."

Discord coughed a few more times, tilted his head to the left, and water poured out of his left ear. "And you say the 'people' in your world call me a 'troll', Eric." Discord stood up. "All right, what is her deal?!"

"Twilight's 'deal' is that she lost her mind!" Rainbow answered.

Spike suggested, "Guys? We better get out of here before she comes back and gets more ideas."

We all agreed, and took a step at nearly the same time. Because of the...chaos just now, we forgot to walk carefully, and we all slipped and fell on the wet floor with a wet thud. Spike, Discord, and I fell on our backs, and the five mares fell on their stomachs.

Knowing what's about to happen to us, and we'll be powerless to stop it, I groaned and smacked the floor with my right hand. "Buck!"

Yep, Momlight returned, and her creepy as buck smile looked even creepier, but this time she didn't have the tub. She only had eight wet white rags with her. She must've already known the bathtub she used before would be way too small and, with a beam of purple magic, Twi made a much bigger one as soon as she teleported into the room. This one was about fifteen feet long, two feet wide, but as tall as the other one she was using: two feet.

With Twilight staring at us, as Discord said, "Uh, no. I'm out!" he snapped his fingers and teleported himself out of the castle. It's almost too bad that half the beings in Equestria didn't disappear with that snap, as long as I was one of them, just so I could get away from that crazy but powerful pony!

Speaking of whom, Twi didn't give us a chance to even say anything, let alone try to escape. She grabbed Spike, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow, Pinkie, Fluttershy, and me with magic, took Applejack's and my hat off again as well as my shirt and shoes, threw us into that tub and gave us all a ten-second bath again, with us coughing and yelling at her to let us go. Obviously, Twilight wasn't going to let us go till she wanted to. After she finished our bath, Twilight dropped all seven of us on the floor with a wet thud, teleported herself away, along with that huge tub and eight rags, leaving us to once again cough and pant to catch our breaths.

"Spike, just in case she does that again, is it any easier the fourth time?"

"Nope, and it's not after the fifth time either, Eric."

Rainbow rubbed her head. "And she could at least not drop us on the floor."

Applejack stood up. "Okay, Twilight is out-of-control, so we gotta get her to--"

Screaming and insane laughing, that seemed to come from Starlight's room, echoed throughout the whole castle. The Mane Five, Spike, and I, who might've well been "The Wet Seven" right now, had a feeling of what was going on. After Applejack and I put our hats back on and I put on my shirt and shoes again, we walked slowly through the hallways of the castle to Starlight's room to see if we were right, though the screaming and laughing stopped around twenty seconds before we got there. We would've run, but we didn't want to risk slipping on the floor again and get another bath from our "mom", whether we like it or not.

Once we got to the doorway of Starlight's room, inside it, we saw a wet white rag and the "mid-sized" white tub in the room, in front of the "no equal" sign Starlight still have hanging on the wall near the door, half-filled with water and bubbles, with the part of the floor around it wet. Starlight, with her mane drooped down and dripping water, lay in front of us, on her stomach beside the tub, still coughing, but not panting much. Twilight was nowhere in sight, and seemed to not need the tub anymore since she left it in Starlight's room...not that I was complaining about it!

"Starlight, are you all right?" Fluttershy asked.

"You got a bath from 'mom' didn't you, Starie?"

"First, yeah I'm all right, Fluttershy. And second, you think, Eric?!"

"Ouch, grumpy, weren't we?" You know, no matter how nice Starlight is and how close we are, it's not smart to tease that Unicorn when she's in bad mood, and she glared at me and growled.

Before Starlight could get too mad, Rainbow suggested, "We better ask Twilight if she wants to give in to that bet she has going with Eric and give her a book, so she'll calm down."

But Twilight teleported herself behind us and yelled, "Nope, I'm not giving in, Rainbow! Spike and Eric aren't getting those beds!" Twilight ran through the hallways of the castle, flew out an open window, with an insane laugh, while the rest of us watched. If the window weren't already open, she might've flown through the glass!

"Twi's not gonna make it, Spike. I can hardly wait for my first night on the 'L-a-a-a-z-y Colt Five Thousand'."

"Uh, Eric? I hate to interrupt yer fantasies of that bed ya and Spike want so bad, but were ya even watchin' Twilight just now?! She's gone crazier than somepony tryin' to cut down apple trees!"

"Applejack's right, Eric. She's lost it!" Pinkie agreed.

"Yes, let us forget that bet! We need to stop Twilight before she does something serious!" Rarity scolded.

Yeah...I was so busy thinking about that bed, I almost forgot about just how bad Twilight was freaking-out, till Applejack, Pinkie, and Rarity talked some sense into me, and I facepalmed. "I'm sorry, guys. I don't know what the buck was wrong with me. With the magic Twilight has and the state she's in, who knows what she'll do to Ponyville?"

"Yeah, so let's go after her!" Spike ordered.

So we wouldn't have to be "The Wet Eight", Starlight used her magic to dry all of us off, and we sped out of the castle to find and somehow stop Twilight. But with Twilight Sparkle going "Lesson Zero" level crazy, and with the incredible magical power that Alicorn has, even with Starlight Glimmer's help, this might not end well.

But at least Twilight's not a "villain", so it's not like she'd blow up Ponyville or something with her magic...would she?

Author's Note

Nice work, Eric. Your bet with Twilight might be the end of Ponyville!

What will Twilight do to Ponyville? Will the ex-Wet Eight find a way to stop her and get her back to her senses before it's too late?

To Catch An Alicorn

Oh, boy. I done goofed.

That bet I made with Twilight has made her lose it, and I thought she would have given up before she fell apart this bad. Nooope, she's still refusing to quit, and now that crazy pony's on the loose in Ponyville. With her magical abilities, she could do just about anything she wants.

Seriously.

Twilight's not strong enough to blow up Equestria but, on a smaller scale, there's not much she can't do because of the spells she's mastered or capable of learning: she is the Element of Magic. I sometimes forget how powerful she is since she rarely needs to show it, she's great at making you feel like you're her equal, despite her Princess status, and because of her (usually) modest nature.

Now running through the streets of Ponyville and asking ponies we ran by if they've seen Twilight anywhere, Starlight, Spike, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and I hoped that we'll be able to find where she's at, try to calm her down, and at this point buck the L-a-a-a-z-y Colt Five Thousand! Without knowing where she was, Starlight couldn't teleport to Twi, so we had to find her the old-fashioned way: by simply searching, and we hoped we'd find her before she did something crazy!

After two minutes of combing Ponyville, we spotted Twilight in the air, looking to her left and right, and maybe trying to decide whom to "clean" next.

"Twilight Sparkle! What in tarnation are ya doin' now?!"

"Who, me? Nothing, just looking to clean up messy, messy dirt."

"Twilight, seriously, read a book!"

"Nope, Starlight! I'm not giving up that bet!"

"You know what, Twi? Let's just--"

Before I had a chance to say more, Twilight laughed in manic fashion and flew away, but remained about a foot off the ground.

"She's getting away! After her!" Rainbow ordered. Not that she needed to!

I can't run as fast as ponies when they run at full speed, except the slower ones, so I hopped on Applejack's back and Spike got on Starlight's, and we bolted after Twilight, who five seconds later flew into a yellow building through its red double-doors. After another five seconds, screaming and insane laughing came from inside, and it made us stop and wonder what was going on, before we snapped out of it and ran in. Though we really should've known on the spot what Twilight was doing.

As soon as we busted through the door, about ten seconds after the yelling started, our mouths widened at what we saw. Around ten round tables that were spread throughout the room, ponies lay on the floor, growling and dripping water. But we had to re-focus since the Princess of Craziness, while chuckling, flew over us and back out the door two seconds after we barged in. Once out, she came closer to the ground to about a foot in the air, like she was when she flew into that building. There were no tubs or rags in the room, but the floor around the ponies was soaked, so Twi must've already got rid of them.

We spun back and sped back out the door and again chased after the "laughing" Twilight. Those ponies in that room were not happy, but we couldn't worry about that: we had an out-of-control Alicorn to stop.

Three seconds into the chase, Applejack said, "Hey, Eric, I'm gonna need ya to get off my back. Starlight, pick him up!"

Starlight used her magic to pick me up and pulled me to her, as Applejack gritted her teeth and sprinted ahead. Once she was close, Applejack dived towards and wrapped her forelegs around Twilight's midsection and wings, so she wouldn't fly away and took the pony to the ground. They slid on the ground on their sides from their momentum, kicking up dirt as they slid. But Applejack was also on Twilight's back with her forelegs still clamped around her.

After they stopped sliding, as Twilight yelled to be let go, she struggled to wriggle free, but Applejack wasn't budging and was begging Twilight to calm down. However, before anyone else could join Applejack in her begging, Twi's horn glowed and used her magical telekinesis to force Applejack to release her, then flew off with Applejack on the ground growling. You know how she hates losing.

Rarity's horn glowed blue and used her magic to hold Twilight still, but Twi's horn glowed pink and immediately negated Rarity's telekinesis on her. I'll give the Unicorn an "A" for effort: she did her best with her far weaker magic.

Rainbow Dash flapped her wings faster to catch up to Twilight in a second, and wrapped her forelegs around Twi's midsection and wings, just like Applejack did. With Rainbow latched on Twilight, as both mares yelled, "Whoa!" their bodies spun sideways in the air before they crashed and rolled on the ground, and the patch of grass they landed on slightly softened their landing. Despite the rolling, Rainbow still held on to Twi, but her grip was weakening and the grunting she did while holding on to the wriggling Twilight showed it.

But, after they stopped rolling, because Rainbow doesn't have quite the pure physical strength Applejack has, Twilight wriggled harder and broke Rainbow's weakening grip. Rainbow tried to grab Twilight again, but grabbed nothing but air, and punched the ground with her hoof and groaned. As Twi flew away again, laughing, I thought, 0 for 3.

Maybe it was because Fluttershy couldn't fly fast enough to catch up to Twilight, or if she could, she knew Twilight would free herself, but Fluttershy didn't try what Rainbow did.

Time for the main event: After sitting me down from her levitation, Starlight teleported in front of Twilight and, while levitating herself with her magic, pleaded, "Twilight, you gotta stop! Just read something!"

Twilight showed no signs of stopping, though, and I thought a Twilight Sparkle vs. Starlight Glimmer magic duel was imminent. But before Starlight brought out the spells, Twilight teleported away. We spun our heads around to scan the area, but Twi was nowhere in sight, and we all groaned. Ha, that might've been the shortest main event in the history of Equestria, or even the Multiverse.

0 for 4 on catching and stopping Alicorns.

Starlight admitted, "Okay, we got to try something else because this isn't working."

"Guys, I have an idea," Rainbow said.

Applejack turned to face Rainbow. "Well, what is it?"

"What if we set a trap?"

Thinking of what we were up against, I huffed and deadpanned, "Yeah, like that would work."

"Why you say that?"

"All right, Rainbow. First, how can we trap her? And second, if we do, how can we keep her trapped? You saw how she kept breaking free, and even Starie can't stop her from teleporting."

"Well, Eric, do you have any better ideas?"

I couldn't think of anything, so I sighed and had no choice but to confess, "I got nothing."

"That's what I thought. But I have an idea on how to trap her."

Fluttershy asked, "What is it?"

"She's going around cleaning anypony that's 'dirty', right?"

"Yeah?" Rarity asked.

"One of us could get themselves 'dirty' so Twilight will come running, but before she gives them a 'bath', Starlight could use her magic to hold her. Even if she can't keep her trapped long, maybe she can do it long enough for us to calm her down."

Starlight placed a hoof on her cheek. "I guess that could work, but where should we do it?"

Spike suggested to do it at Applejack's farm, where there'd be less of a chance of other ponies getting "baths" too if Twilight saw them.

Fifteen minutes later, with all of us except Pinkie hiding in the barn of Applejack's farm, Sweet Apple Acres, we readied our plan, and Pinkie will be the one to get herself dirty by hopping in the dirt near the barn. I still had doubts about this, but I didn't have another idea, so I was in no place to whine.

Rainbow asked, "Okay, you ready, Pinkie and Starlight?"

Starlight and Pinkie at the same time answered, "Yep!"

Giggling, Pinkie started hopping up and down and a dust cloud formed around her, and just two seconds later, the Princess of elusiveness teleported herself in front of Pinkie, also 'giggling'. But before Twilight could do anything, Starlight hopped out of the farm and fired a beam of light-blue magic that hit and froze Twilight in place.

"What? What's going on?!"

In a soft voice, Rarity said, "Okay, darling? We know you are just trying to help, but you can't keep forcing ponies to take baths."

"Yeah! And please, read a book!" Starlight begged.

"Oh, don't worry guys. I wasn't going to get Pinkie to take a bath."

"Really?"

"Yeah, Fluttershy, why would I give baths to a few ponies at a time, when I can clean all of Ponyville at once like a gooood Princess of Friendship?"

"What do you mean by--"

Before Spike could say any more, Twilight's horn glowed, and something white and bubbly fell on and buried us! With its lemon scent, at least it smelt nice.

The surprise of what happened made Starlight lose her magical grip on Twilight, and once we unburied ourselves, Twi was much further away and deeper in Ponyville. I thought, 0 for 5.

Rainbow and Fluttershy flew in the air to get a better look of what happened, and Rainbow explained, "Guys, I think these soap bubbles are covering all of Ponyville, and it looks like we had a snowstorm."

Yep, Twi literally cleaned all of Ponyville at once. Starlight levitated herself in the air about as high as Rainbow and Fluttershy and, after her horn glowed brighter, the soap bubbles vanished. As Starlight came back down, she said, "Well, I guess we now know what Twilight meant by she'd 'clean all of Ponyville at once'."

With Rainbow and Fluttershy still in the air, Rainbow added, "And guys? Twilight's now in the air and firing pink blasts over Ponyville, but I can't tell what her blasts are doing."

Applejack's eyes got huge. "What?! Twilight's not hurtin' anypony out there, is she?!"

Fluttershy answered, "No, I doubt she's hurting anypony. They are probably harmless spells to clean something the soap missed or something."

"Guys, I hate to say it, but we might have no choice but to wait for Twilight to tire herself out, because we might get hit by those blasts if we try to get near her. Even if they won't hurt us, they could still do something unpleasant."

But as I thought Rarity had a point, Starlight responded, "I don't know, Rarity. With how Twilight is now, she might keep going for hours, and she knows dangerous spells that she'd usually never use unless she must, but might use now to 'help'."

"Well, in that case, Starie, your magic is practically Alicorn-level, so are there any spells you can use to stop Twilight from using magic even for a few seconds? Maybe you could form an anti-magic barrier around her?"

"Hmm. Now that you mention it, Buggie, there is a special spell that can nullify magic from Unicorns that might work on Alicorns too, and I think there's a version of it in ring form."

Spike asked, "There is? Where can we get one?"

"I think there's some in Cloudsdale, but they won't give them to just anypony."

I facepalmed. "Great. So if we can't get them then what now?"

"Twilight told me about the spell and there are books on it in her library, and I really don't want to do this. But it's similar to the Cutie Mark taking spell I once used, and I might be able to modify it into a version of the anti-magic spell as a ring. But even if I can, I'll only be able to create one and it won't affect Twilight unless it's on her horn. Plus, it won't last long against an Alicorn, so we'll have to calm Twilight down fast."

"Well, then we'll just make it count. Plus, we better worry more about how to get it on Twi's horn. Even now, she probably could tell what it is and won't let us put something like that around her horn," I said.

"Oh, don't worry, I got an idea to take care of that."

"First, let's head back to the castle so I can work on that ring, and you can tell us there, Rainbow."

Starlight teleported all eight of us in the library of the castle, then read about the anti-magic spell. For the next twenty minutes, she worked to adjust her Cutie Mark stealing spell to create one of those anti-magic rings, and we hoped Twilight wouldn't cause too much trouble in Ponyville. Even for Starlight Glimmer, it wasn't easy, and her first four attempts failed. Memories of her old self taking Cutie Marks probably filled Starie's head because she was frowning most of the time, and it didn't seem to just be fatigue. It tugged on my heartstrings, and I wanted to tell my big sis that she could stop trying to modify that spell, but we had to stop Twilight before she did something crazy!

But on her fifth try, she did it, and the ring matched her magic's color, light-blue. But because it's a type of spell Starlight needed to continuously cast, she couldn't test the ring on herself so Rarity tested it, and it worked like a charm. However, Starlight used eighty percent of her magic to make it and wouldn't be able to create another one any time soon, so we couldn't buck up! Especially not after seeing Starie look so sad while making it.

And Rainbow's idea? Starlight would use a voice-enhancement spell on herself and yell for Twilight and hope she'll come running. She'd then ask Twilight to straighten a picture in the room with the Friendship Map, and as she focused on it, Rarity would lift Spike with her magic and slowly move him towards and over Twilight, so he could put the ring on her horn.

Now, with the tilted picture in place with all of us smiling, with Twi in the middle (of course) with Spike, Starlight, and me beside her -- Spike was on Twilight's back -- we were ready to do the plan, feeling like the mice that had to put a bell around a cat's neck in a certain story. Starlight wore a white sock on top of her head to hide her horn's glowing, so Twilight wouldn't suspect something was up.

With me covering my ears beside her, Starlight, in a booming voice that made the room slightly vibrate called, "Twilight?! If you can hear me, we need help with-"

Starlight didn't even have to finish; Twilight teleported in front of us with a crazed giggle and eye twitch. "I heard you, and, yes, yes, I can help!" Twilight turned her head to the tilted picture on the wall. "Is it about that picture?"

Shaking my head to recover from Starlight's yell, and with Starlight ending the spell on herself, I answered, "Yep! It's tilted, so can you help us fix it?"

"Yes, yes, I will!"

Twilight, a foot away from the picture, grabbed it with her magic to straighten it and Starlight, three feet back, said, "A little to the left. No, a little to the right. No, a little..."

With Twilight's full attention on "fixing" that picture, Rarity, who was behind her chair (feels weird calling it a "throne" for some reason) and couldn't be seen by Twilight, lifted Spike with her magic. As Spike got closer, Rarity muttered, "Come on, stay still a few more seconds..."

Suddenly, Twilight gasped, gently set down the picture on the floor -- Even now I guess a picture of her friends meant too much for the Princess of Friendship to just drop it -- and exclaimed, "Oh, I need to finish that! I'm sorry, I'll be back!"

Twi teleported right as Spike had his arms coming down to put the ring on her horn, making him put it on nothing with air. Welp, 0 for 6 now.

"Buck! We almost had her!"

"But what did she mean by 'that'?" Fluttershy asked.

Applejack shook her head. "I have no idea...*sigh*...I guess we're back to square one y'all."

Starlight added, "Well, I guess we better look for Twilight again or find a hint of what she meant. And maybe we can find a way to catch her off-guard."

With Spike holding on to the ring, we left the castle again, and since we didn't see Twilight firing magic blasts, we didn't worry about her accidentally blasting us.

Deeper in Ponyville, Twilight was still out-of-sight, and at first, nothing seemed different, and ponies trotted around talking about one thing or another like nothing happened.

Before one of us could ask where Twilight was, our noses picked up the smell of blueberries. In a blue-painted shop to our rights, we spotted three brown-crusted pies through a window sitting on a counter of the shop, with a brown Earth Pony stallion picking up one of them. They looked twice as big as pies usually are, and Rainbow pointed a hoof at them. "Guys, hold on. Look at the pies in that shop."

"Yes, they are really big, but why are they like that?" Rarity asked.

When we ran into the shop and ask about it, a yellow Unicorn mare, who stood behind a counter that blocked the lower half of her body, told us, "Oh, those pies? Princess Twilight grew them bigger with her magic, so they'll 'be more to eat' the way she put it."

Of course Twi did, and Starlight asked, "How many pies did she do this to?"

"Every one we made, and there are ten more in the back. She grew some this big earlier when she was flying and firing magic blasts all over the place, and she just stopped by to do the rest. At first, I thought Princess Twilight lost her mind and was attacking Ponyville, but her magic blasts only hit pies and made them like those on the counter. In fact, before she teleported off, she said she'll do this to more pies in Ponyville, and to let her know when we have more pies ready and she'll come back to grow them bigger too."

Spike sighed and suggested, "Well, at least Ponyville will be well-fed in pies, and maybe we should leave Twilight alone till she finishes making pies bigger. What could go wrong?"

Yeah, when someone/somepony asks that last sentence, you know things will go wrong. Badly wrong.

And here it comes: After having a hoof on her cheek, Starlight's eyes got huge and her mouth dropped.

"Uh, Starlight? What's wrong?" Fluttershy asked.

In a dire voice I have never heard her use, Starlight answered, "Oh. My. Celestia. We really have to stop Twilight now, because there's a reason spells aren't used to make foods bigger like how Twilight's doing. Especially not by very powerful ponies."

Rainbow asked, "Huh?"

"If she cast the spell I think she did, the magic in every pie she cast the spell on will build up, then in about forty-five minutes the magic in the pies she did the spell on first will blow them up!"

"Hold on, Starlight. It might make things a little messy, but it won't be that bad. Besides, you could just fix the mess from the pies like how you got rid of the soap."

"No, Rainbow, you don't get it! Because the spell was used by Twilight and she's so strong, a huge amount of magic is in them, so they're gonna blow up with an incredible amount of force. And if the spell's done on enough pies, and I think it is, the chain reaction of exploding pies will destroy most of Ponyville!!"

Yeah, that made our mouths drop and my heart sink! Princess Twilight Sparkle, The Princess of Friendship, is actually going to blow up Ponyville by mistake if we don't do something, fast, and we all yelled, "WHAT??!!"

"Why the buck would that pony do a spell like this?! She should know how her spells work, so shouldn't she know better?!"

"Normally, Eric, I think she would. But Twilight's not herself right now, and probably only thought about 'helping' by making the pies bigger so there would be 'more to eat'," Fluttershy reminded.

"Well, I guess that makes sense. But, Starlight can't you just cancel the spell?!"

"Sorry, Rarity. Most of my magic's in the anti-magic ring and I can't take it back, so I'm not strong enough to cancel a spell from a pony like Twilight, and we don't know where every pie is anyway. We could ask ponies where they are, and I have enough magic to teleport them to a safe place right outside of Ponyville. But if we do, we'll cause a panic and they'll get mad at Twilight!"

I begged, "Okay, well, in that case, Pinkie, can't you use your 'Pinkie Sense' to find the pies?"

"I'm sorry, Eric, but I don't have a 'here's an explode-y pie' sense. If they were muffins, I could."

"Sure, why not? But if I remember right from your 'cartoon', Princess Celestia doesn't know every spell in existence, so even if we got her in time, she might not be able to help. And even if she did, she'll be furious at Twilight, and we all know Twi wouldn't handle it well."

"Augh! So I guess we're back to 'how do we stop Twilight?' part of the day," Rainbow said, and I was thinking the same thing.

"Ooh, ooh! I can't use my Pinkie Sense to find the pies, but I have an idea on how to catch Twilight!"

"Well, what is it?!" Applejack asked.

"First, how about one of us do something to have Twilight come to them and ask her to play tag?"

I groaned and facepalmed. "Really? You want to play 'tag' at a time with Ponyville's about to be blown up by pies? How old are you, Pinkie Pie?"

"No, Eric, just listen to me. First, we'll make the rules be that she can't fly, teleport or use spells, and we will all be 'it'. Then, we'll chase and try to trap her."

"Hmm. That could let us catch her, but Twilight won't let us put something on her horn that'll make her lose her magic, and might use her magic to get away," Spike reminded.

Starlight suggested, "Well, in that case, we'll lead her someplace where most of us can surprise and hold her down, then force the ring on her horn before she can use her magic."

And so we prepared our latest plan to stop Twilight, and I couldn't believe Ponyville would have to be saved by playing a game of "tag". The plan would be most effective in the castle, so Starlight teleported us there and we'd use the trick from before to get Twi to come running, and Starlight recast the voice enhancement spell on herself. You have no idea how much I hoped we wouldn't go 0 for 7 on catching and calming down that crazy mare, and safe to say Starlight's the MVP (most valuable pony) in this story.

In the room with the Friendship Map and the rest of us listening behind one of the green double-doors to the room, Starlight, again in a booming voice, by herself, yelled, "Hey, Twilight, can you--"

Of course, Twilight came teleporting in before Starlight could say more. "Yes, yes? You want me to fix that picture now?

After ending the voice-raising spell Starlight asked, "Uh, actually, no. You want to play a game?"

"A game? Sure, sure, what do you want to play, Starlight?"

"Tag, and let's have special rules."

"Special rules?"

"Yep! First, you can't fly or use spells, and everypony with you will be it."

"Everypony but me?"

"Yep! You're not scared are you, Twilight?"

"Ha, no, of course I'm not scared so I'll play."

"Okay, let's start in three....two...one...go!"

The rest of us outside the door hurried into our positions and Twilight, while laughing in manic fashion yet again, sped out one of the doors with Starlight right behind her. But once in the hallway, she saw Rainbow blocking a pathway of it, which forced Twilight to run in the other direction, and Rainbow gave chase with Starlight beside her.

After a short chase, Pinkie and Fluttershy jumped out of a door ahead of Twilight, and Pinkie hopped a little down the hallway. With Fluttershy in front of the door she and Pinkie hopped out from to Twilight's left, Pinkie slightly farther ahead and in front of Twi, and Starlight and Rainbow closing in behind her, Twilight only had one direction to go: her right, through a door opposite of the room Pinkie and Fluttershy came out, and it led to the library.

The rest of us were hiding on the other side of the door and since I was among the ones there, I couldn't actually see what happened during the chase in the hallway, but I figured everything went exactly as planned since Twi ran where we wanted her to go.

The moment Twilight pushed open the door and ran into the library, Rarity used her magic to freeze Twi in place. It didn't have to last long; just long enough for Applejack to jump on and wrap her forelegs around Twilight's midsection and wings, just like before. As soon as they hit the floor as Twilight yelled, "Hey!" out of surprise, we all held down Twilight on her stomach and before she tried to use magic to free herself, Spike quickly placed the ring on her horn and held it, so she couldn't shake it off. All this happened in about two seconds and Twilight was caught completely off-guard, so she didn't have enough time to react.

With Twi yelling at us to let her go, she looked like she was trying to "cheat" because her horn tried to glow pink. But with the ring on her horn that was already glowing light-blue, glowed even brighter and made her horn stop glowing, proving she couldn't use magic. She kept struggling to wriggle free, but, Alicorn or not, her physical strength's nowhere near strong enough to force us off.

But, the MVP said the anti-magic ring wouldn't last long against an Alicorn, so we had to calm Twi down fast before she overpowered it and freed herself!

"Guys, I'm serious, release me this instant! And why can't I use my magic?!"

"One, it's because of that ring on your horn, and two, we're not letting you go until you calm down and read a book!"

"Nope, Rainbow! Like I said before, I'm not giving up that bet!"

"Ugh! You know what, Twilight? Let's cancel our bet, and I will even reorganize the library every other week for two months by myself. No, I'll do it every week for three months, and you were right, that 'L-a-a-a-z-y Colt Five-Thousand' isn't worth the bits! Just, please, big sis, read one of your books!"

"Yeah, listen to Eric, Twilight! He said he won't make you buy those beds, so you can read!" Rarity begged.

We finally started to reach Twilight and, in a more normal voice, she asked, "You promise, Buggie?"

"Yeah, I promise! And if you just promise you won't try to run off, we'll let you go!"

"Okay, I promise I'll stay here! Just let me get up!"

We all got off Twilight and Spike removed the ring off her horn, which vanished, and she stood up panting and out of breath from struggling to break free. Her eyes still twitched about every five seconds, despite being a little calmer now. And like she promised, Twi stayed put.

Starlight grabbed a blue book on a bookshelf with her magic and "handed" it to Twi, who picked it up from the air with her regained magic. A big 'ol smile formed on that mare's face, and she sat down on the floor and read through it, muttering crazily. As she read, her muttering became less crazed and more "normal" and, after about five minutes, Twi was finally calm and back to her old self. Her eyes no longer twitched, though her mane and tail were still ragged.

With her ears drooped down, had big sad eyes and a frown screaming "I'm sorry" Twilight admitted, "Ugh, wow. Guys, I don't know what was wrong with me, and I am so so sorry."

"Whew! I'm glad you're back to your senses, big sis."

Applejack started, "But never mind that. About that spell ya cast on--"

Twilight's eyes got big, gasped, and shouted, "Oh, no, that's right! What have I done?! I really don't know what --"

"Yes, yes, you didn't know what was wrong with you, we get it. Just go and fix that spell before those pies blow up Ponyville!"

Rainbow didn't have to tell Twilight twice. She teleported out of the library and seemed to know where all the pies were, so she teleported throughout Ponyville to reverse the spell she cast on them, and did it with around ten minutes to spare. Whew! Then Twi went around to apologize about her "soapstorm" and about the baths she "gave" a few ponies, and by the time the rest of us caught up to Twilight, she was beginning her apologies. However, despite Twi saying how sorry she was, a lot of ponies weren't happy, and a few even said they might contact Princess Celestia. Uh-oh.

I guess I couldn't blame them. Twi did almost blow up most of Ponyville by mistake with pies, but I bailed my big sister out by reminding them of how many times Twilight's put her neck on the line for Equestria, and asked how many times have they done it?

Yep, that shut those ponies the buck up, and they said they'll cut Twilight some slack, this time.

The next day, standing near and facing a bookshelf in Twilight's library, I stared at the books on it and sighed. It felt like there was an endless amount of them, but I promised Twilight I'd reorganize the books in the library for her every week for three months, so I had a lot of work to do.

But as I picked up the first book, pink magic surrounded and pulled out about fifteen more and pulled them off the shelf.

I turned to where they were going, and they floated beside a smiling Twilight, about three feet behind me. I was so focused on the books in front of me, I didn't even hear her walk in the library and, by this point, her mane and tail were back to normal.

"Even if I won our brother-sister bet, you really didn't think I'd force you to do all this by yourself, did you?"

I huffed and responded, "Oh, come on, Twi, you don't have to help me. I promised I'll do this myself, and you know I hate breaking my promises, especially promises to you."

"Well, look at it this way: you're not breaking your promise." Twilight pointed a hoof at herself with her eyes closed smugly. "I'm breaking your promise. And besides, I love reorganizing the books in the library, so you're not taking my fun away."

Twi had me on that, so I chuckled and gave up. Heh, not like I can stop an Alicorn from doing something she really wants to do, anyway.

I guess she just didn't want to buy the beds, and only said she'd make me reorganize her books if she won our bet to make me squirm. I felt bad, because I'd had her buy the beds if I won.

That pony's too good to me sometimes.

After we got done Twilight saw me yawn, so she suggested that I go and rest, and I took her suggestion.

But when I got to my room, I saw the real reason she wanted me to go in there, and a big 'ol smile formed on my face.

On the other side of the room in place of my two beds (why I have two is part of its own story, but there's a reason why I do) with sunlight shining on one of them, there were two "L-a-a-a-z-y Colt Five-Thousands" and a letter on the one with the sunlight shining on it.

Dear Buggie,

I bet you are surprised to see the "L-a-a-a-z-y Five-Thousands" I bought you. I still say they are not worth the bits, but Starlight and I talked about how you are trying so hard to not rely on me so much by getting a job of your own, even though you really don't need it since you live with me, a princess. Not only that, you are even willing to put up with that mean boss of yours to do it. I might not tell you as much as I should, but I'm proud of you, so here is a reward for your hard work, and to thank you for getting me out of that mess with those ponies threatening to tell Princess Celestia about what I did. Again, I am so sorry about all that.

And I know you, so don't try to get me to take them back because you deserve them, and I don't think I could have made it another day anyway, so you would have still won our bet even if I didn't almost blow up Ponyville. You were right, so enjoy your new beds, little bro!

Your best friend and Equestrian big sister, Twilight Sparkle

P.S. I bought Spike one too to thank him for helping me so much and I left him a letter saying that he deserves it too. But please don't tell him until he sees his new bed first. I want him to be surprised too.

P.S.S. You know how much you mean to me and I will never ever want to truly hurt you no matter what. But if you joke about me gaining any weight again, I'm throwing every book in the library at you.

Yeah, that's pony's definitely too good to me, and I didn't even ask/beg her for two of them! After I gulped at the last part of the letter, I yelled, "Thank you, Twi, and I love you!"

"Like I said, you and Spike deserve those beds, and I love you too, Buggie! But seriously, don't joke about me being fat again!"

However, there was still something on my mind: how bad Twilight Sparkle fell apart over not reading anything during the week of our bet. I know I poked fun at her about it, but we really should do something to make sure she'll never do that again if she can't read her books for a while. She's too powerful to lose it like that again!

But if Twilight ever does go crazy again, maybe we'll remember that Discord could stop her...if he'd feel like helping, that is.

Author's Note

And the day is saved, thanks to the Ex-Wet Eight.

But Eric better listen to Twilight and don't make any more jokes about her weight. She might be the Princess of Friendship, but she's still a mare. An extremely powerful mare.

And he better think twice about making any more bets with Alicorns.