The Great and Powerful... Gamer?

by Lack of Tact

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Crossover, Profanity, Violence, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Death, Alternate Universe, Human, Other, Original Character, Trixie, Comedy, Dark Souls
Length: 1106

Trixie Lulamoon was many things. Great and powerful? Yep. Honest and caring? You know it. Braggart? Of course—and... dead? Well, she is now.

Dammit, now I feel kinda obligated to continue.

Is joke, I plan to return you to your regularly scheduled program shortly.

. . . . .

Trixie Lulamoon was many things. Great and powerful? Yep. Honest and caring? You know it. Braggart? Of course.

And... dead? Well, she is now.

Nothing short of a heart attack could kill Trixie. Granted, that's exactly what does her in. After seeing an Ursa Minor for the first time—up close and personal—and assuming it's a Major variant, she just abruptly dies. This wasn't how she was supposed to go; a finale spectacular was to be her destined end.

However, not anymore.

Thankfully, the Daedric Gods, a few steps above the Princesses of the realm, deem her worthy of a complete restart—while accidentally adding a bit of self-awareness in this new life of hers. It invokes a new sense. Something very few have heard of.

The Gamer.

Blame Sheogorath, he's the one always putting that particular seasoning right next to the salt.

. . . . .

Multiple crossovers? Unadulterated idiocy? Flashbacks from Vietnam? Yep, you've stumbled upon Tact's take on "The Gamer" trope. Hopefully, it isn't too bad.

:twilightsmile: Enjoy! :twilightsmile:

Published 2019-05-01 12:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-05-01 12:20:01 UTC

Game Over.

Author's Note

Did-did this just happen? Oh, oh god, it did.

i'll fix everything when i'm less tired and more not tired

Game Over.

I was—no, am great and powerful. I am the best, nopony can match up to my elusive skill, my showmareship. At my profession, there is no greater than I, Trixie! I giggle absently before sighing, the corners of my lips turning downward. I lie on my bed, staring at the roof of my little caravan. I always love psyching myself up just before a show. Well, I used to love it. Until now, that is. Something about this backwoods town feels off. Ever since that... that Twilight Sparkle showed up, I've lost my fans, I've lost my family. Everypony far and wide would scream my name as I stepped onto the stage, but here? No.

Just booing and naysaying, those ungrateful ingrates. Alas, I am never one to leave without an encore, and an encore they shall have. I just need to plan it out. Come tomorrow, as I bid thee all farewell, my showstopper is going to rub itself in Twilight's face! Saying I'm a farce, bah. I'll show her who's farce. That little dragon assistant of hers—what was it? Spork?—saying she's the greatest unicorn mare in all of Ponyville... nay, in all the world? I'll show him too! I just... need an idea, is all.

Yeah, I got this.

I turn over on my splayed-out bedroll, a yawn escaping me. Glaring at the beige-painted wall, I adjust the pillow beneath my head. "I'll-" another yawn breaks free, "-I'll show you, Twilight Sparkle. Trixie is the best. Not some forgettable lavender unicorn..." Slowly, my eyelids begin to lower and I find Lady Slumber lulling me to sleep with her gorgeous, harmonious tone of silence.

For all of five seconds, anyhow.

Pounding on my door pulls me from her embrace and I shoot up from my bed, grunting as I stare at the jiggling doorhandle, as if somepony were trying to get in. Lighting my horn, I cancel out the 'muted voice' spell I had placed around my trailer. "-ixie!" The familiar-sounding voices of Shits and Giggles resound around me and I sigh, quite angrily.

"Trixie had thought she'd mentioned that She, the Great and Powerful required her beauty sleep!" I shout out back to them, ignorant of whatever plight that had perturbed their thoughts. They're just foals, what more could make them sound so scared outside of owwies and boo-boos? Silence responds and I breathe out, planning on lying back down. It wasn't important if they're not trying a second time, right? Thank Celestia for th-oh, I was wrong. They're pounding on the door again. "What?!" I scream out, willing the door open with my magicks.

The look of shock on both unicorn's muzzles makes me all the more content as they stare back, slackjawed. "U-uh..." the taller, debatably duller of the two starts before the fatter one shoves him aside. A scuffle of hooves sounds as Snails obviously falls somewhere out of my vision. I snicker and shake my head. These two idiots are my biggest fans? How low you have fallen, me.

"We have a little problem, Miss The Great and Powerful Trixie." Saying the entirety of my moniker in a so-called urgent situation? Celestia have mercy.

Snails slinks his head back into view from the doorway, causing his friend—or is it brother?—to growl at him under his breath. "A-actually, a big one."

I place a hoof on my temple as I move over to the door. Snips, teeth clattering, points behind himself, towards the Everfree. I raise an eyebrow, urging them to continue. I just want to sleep and maybe, if I play along with their game long enough, I'll be able to. "Make it-make it a major one, Miss The Great and Power-" I bonk him on the noggin once. I'm getting too old to deal with that. Maybe I should have given myself a shorter stage name.

Pfft, nah, I love being The Great and Powerful Trixie. Boo on me for even thinking otherwise. "And just what is this major problem?" I ask the two, but my only answer is folly. I realize before it even has to show up, that they were punning their troubles. Major? Major?

Oh, oh poop.

A roar sounds off in the distance and I gulp, staring into the dark horizon. Maybe I should stop telling foals lies, they only ever seem to get me in trouble. With my magicks, a purple aura encases my fellow unicorns. A look of question crosses their faces for a moment.

I shove them as far back as I can before slamming my door shut. Maybe it's true what they say? An Ursa Major can't see you if you don't move. "Celestia, I hope I'm right." I whisper under my breath as I hear the two scuttle away in fright. They shout something, but the continuous, thunderous steps of the Greater Celestial Bear making its way towards Ponyville—me—drown them out. As quietly as I can, the wood underneath my hooves creaking as if to tempt fate itself, I go back over to my bed and lie down.

I whisper under my breath, not prayers, but reassurance. "This is fine."

"Trixie is okay with the events that are currently unfolding."

"This is okay. Everything is going to be just okay."

I smack my lips once and pull the sleeping bag from under me, wrapping my body as if I were the beans that go on a burrito. There's no way the Ursa Major can find me, not in my protective wrap. Right? Right. Besides, as long as I'm calm—ignore the fact that my heart is beating a mile a minute—I can think clearly. Right again? Right again. So, first thing's first. Mental damage control. You're not dead, me. Your destiny isn't to die in a trailer of all things. You're going to be known amongst everypony, the sole survivor of an Ursa Major attack—wow, that is dark. Survive this first before you go spinning fabrications to tell everypony. I-oh? Did the monstrosity stop in its wake? I don't hear it outside, anymore.

The snapping of wood garners my attention, splinters falling all around me. I peek outside of my linen shield and see two giant, seemingly transparent eyes glaring down at me. I gulp once and I'm pretty sure my heart stopped on me just now.

Oh, it did.

Well, at least I'm not that thing's lunc-wait, did I just die?!

YOU DIED
[No save data currently available.]
New Game?
[Y] or [N]