The three deaths of Sunset Shimmer
Sunset Shimmer screamed, in agony and desperation. The full force of the magic blast that hit and purified her wasn't without pain.
Extreme pain, as she felt her wings torn away, her horns shattered, her tail broken, was all she felt in that moment.
She still felt it now, haunting her while she tried to sleep. That day she suffered the most humiliating loss she ever had, and that night she wasn't able to sleep.
Sunset got up and went to the bathroom, and saw another person on the mirror. She didn't see a proud and beautiful girl, with hair like flames and eyes like the sky: she saw a pale and broken excuse for a girl, with red eyes overflowing with tears.
If she wasn't already that much full of guilt and sadness, she surely was now after seeing what she had become. Sunset opened the medicine cabinet and took a flacon of pills.
She needed to sleep, and she needed it bad; two pills and a glass of water. She went back to bed, and tried to close her eyes, until the pills started taking effect.
She hoped it would've been a dreamless night.
She was there, lying in the psychologist's sofa. From her interlocutor, no interruptions as she talked about everything. Strange enough, she didn't clearly see the psychologist's face when she was watching it.
"So, everything started like that. I didn't make anything wrong, I sought what was mine by right. I didn't really care about power, but it was the quickest way to gain knowledge and also the quickest way to assert my dominance to those near or below me. I got promised power before I fled, yet I fled because that promise wasn't fulfilled. It's not my fault, right?"
The psychologist didn't answer, and Sunset continued:
"But anyway, it's all so crazy. One moment before, you're the queen bee of the school, nothing happens if you don't want it to happen, and one moment after, you're just a dethroned nobody that everybody loves to hate, with no ground under your feet, so you can't actually never try to get up and recover. It's all just a whirling spiral of hate and self delusion, one I'm deeply inside and that I can't escape."
Sunset paused for a moment, to catch her breath, and continued, the psychologist still silent.
"I just want it to end. I would like to say that I don't care about anything of the sort, but who am I, if I'm not who I know I am? It's all so confusing, and it's tearing up my mind. As for my heart and my soul, well, I don't even know if I have those anymore. I'm a nobody without my mind. Feelings, emotions, empathy, I can do well without those. For fuck's sake, I basically ruled a school using just my mind, that has to count for something! People hated me, sure, and I didn't give a single damn about it, because no matter how much they tried, they couldn't reach me, and just digged their own graves, figuratively speaking: popolarity is everything at this time of their lives, and they couldn't afford to go against me, if they didn't want to get squashed like bugs under a roadroller. Yet, now I'm left at their mercy, because I screwed up badly."
Her interlocutor started laughing. Sunset noticed that everytime she speaked she kinda heard the same laugh, but she wasn't sure about it until now.
"Doctor, you're not paying attention, aren't you here to help me? Why aren't you speaking with me, it's been two hours already, and you're just laughing a bit! Doctor? Doctor?"
The laughter erupted as the walls started burning, as well as everything else; Sunset got up and turned around, seeing that thing.
"I am you, Sunset, and you know it! I'm every bit of hatred and evil in your mind, in your heart, in your soul! You will never get rid of me! But I… can get rid of you!"
The demon conjured a fireball, and threw it to Sunset at point-blank range. Sunset screamed, as she felt the pain of her skin being burned and as she saw herself melting like one of those painting by Salvador Dalí. The pain and the horror were too much, accompanied by that piercing, evil, laugh.
Sunset opened her eyes, only to see the Royal Library of Canterlot. She quickly examined herself: when did she get back to Equestria? She felt different, though.
She tried to move, but as she took the first step, she noticed something strange: shoes? And were her legs longer? What was the pain on her back?
She galloped until she reached the forbidden section, and to the mirror later, but it wasn't there. She turned around, just to see another kind of mirror, a normal one. As she locked eyes with the figure on the glass, she couldn't believe it: she had reached alicornhood.
A sense of pride and power fueled her, and she galloped even faster to exit the Royal Library. Yet, no exit was to be found.
Sunset started to look around, and all she saw were bookshelves and books. She trotted slowly, but it made no effect: she was lost. She tried to fly, only to discover that she seemed forcefully attracted to the ground and could not take off if not for a couple of centimetres. She decided to try the most logical thing after that, teleporting, and it kinda worked.
While she still was in the Royal Library, given the walls and the floor, the room she was in was basically empty, if not for some huge paintings.
She approached the first painting, which included her filly self, Celestia and the Royal Castle: their first encounter. A familiar yet strange voice started to talk:
"This is the tale of Sunset Shimmer, student extraordinaire, mistress of magic, rightful ruler of Equestria, Empress of the Sun. It all began many and many years ago, in a sunny day, when Princess Celestia found our dear Empress all alone. Having lost her parents, she was taken in because Celestia knew about Sunset's potential, and started to teach her. While Sunset wasn't really interested in the more social lessons, she displayed a tremendous skill in all things magical. A fine ability for a fine ruler."
She walked to the second painting, which showed her the moment of her escape:
"Unfortunately, a great ruler suffers great hardship, and so was for Sunset. Celestia, sensing her power, wanted to bend her into becoming her successor, showing her a magical mirror. Seeing herself as an alicorn filled Sunset with pride, yet also with arrogance. Wanting to reach alicornhood at all costs, she immersed herself in studying forbidden magic: when Celestia discovered this, she was furious, and banished Sunset from her castle. But Sunset wasn't defeated, and crossed the mirror."
The third painting showed her human form, on top of the human school:
"Stranger in a strange land, Sunset quickly discovered that she couldn't use magic, so she started using more and more the tactics learned in politics class: divide et impera. The entire school was on her hand, and soon she would've used her dominance to reconquer Equestria. To do so, she needed her magic back, so she crossed again the mirror and stole the Element of Magic: the current holder of the Element, Twilight Sparkle, the new student of Celestia, followed her into the mirror to recover what Sunset had rightfully stolen. What Twilight found was a school bent under the rule of Sunset, where no-one dared defy the flame-haired girl. Only five girls joined force with Twilight to overthrow Sunset. Yet the fight wasn't going to be as they planned, and Sunset played them like a fiddle."
The fourth painting was different from what Sunset remember: she did lose against those six, yet the painting didn't lie. Those five were in shackles, with extensive burns on all their body, and the demonic version of Sunset was engulfing Twilight with murderous fire. The voice continued.
"The Element of Magic was corrupted by Sunset power, but the combined forces of the six weren't enough to challenge the sheer magical power of our Empress. The five girls were easily beaten in a flurry of fireballs, and Twilight, defeated, was burned alive, screaming in pain, until all her life force drained from her. Activating the mirror, Sunset threw the charred dead body of her enemy through it, as a warning. She took the five girls in an empty classroom and chained them there, with no food, no water and no medical assistance, leaving them to their fate. Such was the fate of who opposed the Empress. Then, with an army of students at her command, she marched through the mirror."
The fifth painting was even more disturbing: Canterlot in flames, dead ponies everywhere and in the sky, the tremendous clash between Celestia and an alicorn Sunset, between an heavenly light and an hellish flame.
"Those who didn't submit to Sunset became slaves. Those who revolted, died. Such is the way a ruler must command. The advance of Sunset was quick and unexpected, as if Tartarus itself unleashed its fury on Equestria. The Crystal Empire was the first to fall: Princess Cadance bowed down to the sheer magical power of the Empress, believing that doing this would've prevented the fall of Crystal Empire and slavery for its citizens, and she was right, for Sunset harbored no ill will against who willfully submitted. Canterlot, instead, decided to resist: royal guards, the Wondercolts, magicians, everyone stood with Celestia and Luna. But after seeing the sheer brutal power used by Sunset to destroy the main gate, Luna faltered, and retired herself from the battle. Celestia attacked Sunset at full force, but she alone wasn't able to match Sunset's strength, bolstered by the Element of Magic itself. While the armies clashed, with Sunset's one getting the upper hand, Celestia fled to the castle, hoping to seek Luna's help. At the castle, not even the two princesses' combined might could match the destructive power of Sunset's fire. Both were incinerated. This is how the Battle of Canterlot ended."
The last painting only showed Sunset, alone, sitting on the throne.
"With nobody able to defy her, and with the Crystal Empire at her indirect command, Sunset crowned herself Empress. Her reign was characterized by strict yet just laws, and brought order and peace. But to everyone who saw her, they always saw a shadowy figure behind Sunset, as if she wasn't completely alone…"
Sunset listened until the voice stopped. What could've been the shadowy figure? Deep in thought, she started to realize what the voice intended: that thing wasn't Sunset. That thing was the demon, who took control of Sunset. With that realization, a maniacal laughter filled the room.
"Good job, Sunset, you guessed right. It is I who survived the blast in the human world, not you."
Turning around, Sunset saw nothing. Then, she looked up, only to see the face of the demon, laughing.
"You wanted power, you wanted to rule, I gave that all to you. But you know, power comes at a price. And the price is your life. I searched my mind for many times, because I knew you didn't completely die. But now, your life is mine to take, forever."
The paintings moved, and became bigger and bigger, closing Sunset into a cube. Then paint started to overflow from the pictures, slowly condemning Sunset to death by drowning.
Sunset woke up for the third time, only to find herself in a black void. In front of her, the demon, again.
"So, Sunset dear, have you enjoyed this night so far?"
"What do you want?"
"I want what is mine!"
With one of her claws, she ripped out Sunset's heart, but the girl didn't die. Not now.
"This is what made you weak, Sunset! This is what made you lose to those pathetical girls and to the new apprentice of Celestia! You had the power, you had me! You had everything you could want, power, intelligence, rule over others, but you threw it all down the drain! Then why, tell me why you wanted to be defeated!"
Tears started flowing from Sunset's eyes.
"We could've gotten our revenge on Celestia, we could've gotten our rightful place in Equestria as Princess and maybe more! We would've lived like queens forever, we could've decided what is right and what is wrong! But now all those dreams are dust, because you didn't have any killing intent when you threw that fireball!"
That words stung Sunset's mind like a needle. She wondered why she didn't go all-in. And the words started flowing out of her mouth.
"Yeah, I wonder why."
Light started filling the cavity left by her heart.
"Because it's all so vexing. I had power, at the cost of my own self. I had intelligence, yet I was stupid enough to didn't listen to a pony that literally made me rise up from the dust of the streets. I ruled above others not by benevolence or justice, but by fear and machinations. Because I was hated, and not loved. And most of all, I was alone. I don't pretend to know what would've happen if I followed Celestia's suggestions and made some friends, and I don't pretend to know if having friends here on the human world would've changed me and prevented me to do stupid shit like stealing the very embodiment of magic itself. Maybe I don't even need friends, true, I just need some people who I can talk with."
The demon roared in fury.
"So you want to follow Sparkle's orders? Make friends with those five girls?"
Calmly, Sunset answered:
"Of course not. I know full well that they will not accept me, because I made their lives hell, and I don't expect they'll forgive me, not now and maybe never. But that school is not the only place on that world. I can start fresh, new. Without you!"
Sunset shot a beam of light from her hand, scorching the demon's belly.
"Two can play at this game now, demon."
The demon laughed, and charged Sunset which did the same. The clash echoed in the void space, as flame and light fought to prevail on the other, all too similar at what Sunset saw on the painting where she apparently fought Celestia before, just with inverted roles. The heat of the battle exploded like a star, with the two girls hitting each other in a desperate struggle to survive.
But unlike what happened with Celestia, this time it was light's turn to prevail. Sunset's blows hit harder and faster than the demon ones.
Blow on blow, Sunset's personal demon started to laugh.
"So this is how it ends."
Sunset was about to ready the final blow, as the demon barked:
"Your will is stronger than mine, it's ok. Just remember me when you'll be betrayed and used again, because I won't be there to save your ass when it will happen! And I don't care about how it ends, because remember that I am also Sunset Shimmer!"
Sunset hit hard, with the strength of a thousand suns, blowing the demon up in a myriad of dust particles.
"I know. But your death is final, mine weren't."
Then, she closed her eyes, and pointed her index finger on her temple.
"Bang."
And light engulfed her, as the void shone brighter than ever.
Sunset Shimmer screamed, in agony and desperation. The full force of the magic blast that hit and purified her wasn't without pain.
But she smiled now, because she had the strength to complete her purification: where the Elements failed, she was able to finish the job. She just needed the last push. Opening her diary, she started writing.
Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle,
I died three times this night. Yet now, I'm more alive than ever.
The Elements didn't finish the job, I did. I'm finally free from the demon inside me.
I'll find my own way now, maybe I'll be able to count on someone on the road. Friends? I'm not sure I'm ready, but I'll give my best. Hopefully I'll be able to fix all the shit I pulled off. Just... Thanks.
Shimmer out.
Author's Note
I wrote this tonight, in one go, while listening to Gojira's discography and with a bottle of good ol' whiskey.
Don't judge me.
Hope you like it though. See ya on another fic, if you'd like.
Zael out.
