Operation: APPLECRACK

by Redd Herring

Rating: everyone
Tags: Adventure, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Trixie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 9448

Strange magical disturbances are haunting Equestria, and Twilight gets help from an unexpected pony.

When a strange magical anomaly seems to spell doom for Equestria, Twilight is forced to go to others for help. However, she's rather surprised by who ends up solving the mystery...

Published 2012-08-09 19:24:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-23 01:07:48 UTC

Rippling Omens

A dimly lit room, the flickering of candles. Charts and maps and graphs, strange crystals and metals and reagents. Someone is hard at work here. Arcane tomes are stacked in towers and strewn around the small workshop. Beads of sweat roll down the young unicorn's face; she has been working here for some time. She stopped keeping track of the hours long ago, and her tea, hardly touched, has long gone cold. A serious expression is painted on her face as she dangles a faceted and fragmented green crystal over the map. Round and round and round it spins, tracing a wide circle over the ancient rendering of the land of Equestria, before the radius begins to shrink and it eventually settles over a specific point, drawn there not by gravity but by some other force. The location is plain to see, far away but not far enough for comfort. As the unicorn studies the map and the crystal that dangles over it, a red glow manifests within. The young mage stares at it in bafflement as the glow intensifies and a sound akin to a kettle on boil can be heard. The crystal vibrates, the sound and the light rising to a crescendo, before it finally shatters with an alarming pop, causing the spellcaster to flinch as shards fly across the room. She stares at the oddly-shaped scorch mark on the map, a look of horror beginning to dawn on her face, and sends a hanging globe swinging out of control as she darts out of the room and up the stairs, leaving curls of smoke to writhe and hover in the air above the table as the arcane instruments in the room whistle and hum.

* * *

Like most days in Ponyville, today was beautifully clear and sunny. The birds were chirping and the leaves were rustling gently in the wind as Applejack patrolled her orchard, inspecting the apples for ripeness and infection. She sung a merry tune to herself as she worked, her experienced eyes easily scanning over the shiny fruits and spotting any that needed to be removed. One bad apple ruins the whole barrel, after all. It was still May, so the apples were not quite ready to be bashed down from their stations up in the majestic trees, but the orchard was very important to the markets of Ponyville and there were bound to be many large orders come harvesting time, so everything had to be perfect. Being an earth pony, it would be difficult to carry around and write on a sheet of paper or some such thing, but Applejack had been doing this for so long that the quantities were easily added up in her mind. She was just rounding the corner and making her way down the next row of trees when a familiar purple shape emerged toward her from the treeline.

"Well howdy there Twilight! Didn't see you lurkin' around in the trees there. Hey, you doin' alright? You ain't lookin' so good."

Indeed, everything about the young unicorn's manners suggested a feeling of concern, from the bags under her eyes to the way she kept looking around as though expecting something to jump out at her.

"I'm okay, Applejack. But something's gone terribly wrong. I think everyone may be in danger."
Now it was the earth pony's turn to be concerned.

"Why? Is it another dragon or somethin'? It has to be important if yer lookin' this under the weather. Why don't we go on into the house and I'll fix you up some pie?"

"I don't have time for that. Equestria is in grave danger... I was just performing my daily tests of the atmospheric Aura and it quickly became clear that something wasn't right. My instruments kept getting hit by periodic waves of Myr, both positive and negative, as if it was being pushed out by something."

"Twilight, I'm gonna have to stop you right there and say that I have no idea what you're goin' on about. What's this mirror stuff?"

"Myr. The manifestation of the will and emotions of sentient beings."

"...You lost me again."

Twilight sighed tiredly.

"It's magic. There's a great deal of magic inherent in the very air of Equestria, and for some reason it's being disturbed. On a huge scale. It's like... it's like someone dropped a big ball into a pool, and the waves are rippling out. Except the water's not going back where it's supposed to."

"Shucks, Twilight, you know I don't know nothin' about magic. I think I kinda get you, though. So what does that mean for us?"

"I don't know yet, but without the proper balance of Myr, terrible things will start happening to the environment. Who knows what would happen if there was no Myr at all in a large area? Too much of any one kind of Myr is bad news, too. And standard Myr wasn't the only thing I was getting. I was picking up something... else... something strange, almost... blocky. No charge at all."

"Again with the mumbo-jumbo."

"Look, anyway, I tried scrying to find out what was going on, and... something is definitely up. The scrying crystal exploded."

"Not that I'm tryin' to shut you up or anything, but why are you talkin' to me about this? Shouldn't you be writin' the Princess or somethin'? I don't know how much help I can be here."

"That's the thing... I wrote to her, but she's not answering. I think she's out on some official function today. But we might not have enough time to wait for her return... this is highly unnatural."

"That still doesn't explain why you came to me, of all ponies."

Twilight sighed again.

"I don't know, Applejack. I don't know who to turn to or what to do. This is all too much for me."

"Well, you know, there IS one other pony in town who I reckon knows a thing or two about magic... if you're willin' to put up with her."

"Who..."

Realization dawned on her.

"Wait, you couldn't possibly be talking about HER, could you? She's in town?"

"Yyyep."

"Oh, geez. I don't know if I can deal with her."

"Look, if it's really important, you should just put aside yer differences and work together. That's what we're all about, right?"

"...I guess so... I'll give it a shot, anyway."

"There ain't been a single problem we couldn't solve yet, and we sure as sunshine ain't gonna give up now. Am I right?"

"...Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I'll give it my best try."

"That's the spirit! And when this is all over you can come on over to my place for a bit of apple pie. Some of the apples came down early, y'see, and we're havin' us somethin' of a picnic. It's gonna be good!"

"Yes, yes, I'll keep that in mind... I am really not looking forward to this..."

Their conversation concluded, the unicorn dejectedly slumped off in the direction of town, with the down-to-earth pony staring off bemusedly after her.

"That pony really works herself way too hard."

With that ironic remark, Applejack went back to checking her orchards, singing that same merry tune.

A Trixie Situation

After much stalling and trepidation, Twilight finally made her way to the side of town square, where a familiar gaudily-decorated caravan could be seen.

"I never thought I'd be seeing her again..." sighed Twilight, a mix of exasperation and anxiety in her voice. Magically skilled or not, this particular pony had a rather intimidating personality, something that Twilight had a little trouble dealing with. Hesitantly, she trotted up to the caravan's moon-emblazoned door and gave it a tentative knock with the side of her hoof, half-hoping there would be no answer.

Fortunately or unfortunately, a familiar and imposing voice called out from the inside of the caravan.

"What pony seeks an audience with the Great and Powerful Trixie at this hour? She is preparing for the greatest show Equestria has ever seen, you know! This had better be important!"

The haughty voice made Twilight flinch a little, even though she knew full well the relative impotence of the pony she was dealing with.

After a long moment, Trixie herself reared her majestic visage from behind the window in the door, staring down at the less confident unicorn. Something seemed a little bit different about the wannabe wizard in her robe and hat, but it had been quite some time since they had last met, so Twilight couldn't exactly place her hoof on what it was.

"YOU! You DARE face Trixie after you made a COMPLETE fool of her last time? Trixie has not forgotten your indiscretions, you know!"

Her righteous indignation turned to mocking amusement.

"Hah! But it doesn't matter. Trixie, the greatest pony in all of Equestria, accepts your petty and pitiable little challenge. Let it be known that this time, Trixie will not be bested by the likes of you! As astounding as her magic was last time, it has doubled, no, QUADRUPLED in power since you last had the great honor of witnessing it. There is nothing, I tell you, NOTHING you can do that Trixie cannot! Ursa Minors? Hah! Bring them on! Bring out twelve, no, twenty Ursa Minors if you wish! They are no match for the incredible power of the GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!"

The unicorn with a knack for theatrics seemed to be somewhat winded from her long monologue, panting just a little bit as fireworks whistled and popped overhead, her cape billowing dramatically behind her.

As the fireworks died down and Trixie took a moment to catch her breath, her satisfied grin and shining eyes dampened a bit while Twilight just stood there staring at her.

"Well? Aren't you going to challenge the Great and Powerful Trixie?"

"...No, actually, that's not what I'm here for at all."

Trixie's cape stopped billowing, and she looked disappointed.

"...Oh."

She coughed a little, taking a second to regain her composure.

"...So... you've come to GROVEL at Trixie's HOOVES, then? Hoping to avoid your inevitable downfall as she CRUSHES you with her SUPERIOR and AMAZING MAGIC? Well, you had better make your apology good, or Trixie will have to bring the hammer down on you! No ifs, ands, or buts about it! KNEEL, you knave! KNEEL and REPENT for what you've done!"

"No, I'm not here for that either."

"...Hmph."

A moment passed in awkward silence as Trixie's deep and intelligent eyes flicked left and right.

"...So what ARE you here for?"

"Er... I need... I need your help."

"HAH! So NOW you dare to come crawling back to Trixie? 'Ohh, we don't need Trixie's astounding and unbelievable magic, we can just deal with everything on our own! We're just going to make her look like a big idiot and run her out of town so that nopony will like her and she has to live all by herself in the woods for a year with nopony to talk to!' Well GUESS WHAT!? Maybe Trixie thinks you don't DESERVE her magic! You've got it all under control, haven't you!? Why don't you just rip another WATER TOWER out of the ground and throw THAT at the problem, huh? HUH? Or do you just want to EMBARRASS TRIXIE FURTHER!?"

At this point, her face was mere inches from Twilight's. The bookish purple unicorn was having trouble responding to these wild tangents, and it took her a few seconds to finish stuttering and compose herself.

"L-Look, I'm sorry about what happened. I didn't mean for it to turn out that way. It's not like we hate you, Trixie, we just don't want you to be mean to everyone all the time... A-Anyway, that's not the point! Equestria is in grave danger and the Princess is nowhere to be found! If we don't work together now, there might not BE anyone to perform for!"

Trixie took a deep breath, stepping back a little and looking Twilight up and down as if sizing her up. She looked into Twilight's eyes, her expression softening just a little, and she sighed.

"...Alright, alright. I'll listen. What is it? What do you need?"

Her use of actual first-person pronouns seemed to show that she was being serious.

"It's a little hard to explain. I really don't even understand it myself, but it seems that there's some kind of powerful magical anomaly nearby, and it's destroying the balance of Myr in the nearby lands. If this keeps up... well, I don't expect you to know much about this, I mean, you're only a stage magician..."

"Hah! I'll have you know that the Great and Powerful Trixie has been studying non-stop to improve her magical abilities! Of course I know about Myr! Such a concept is CHILD'S PLAY for Trixie."

Apparently, she hadn't completely discontinued her usual manner of speech. But Twilight was more interested in what she'd just said than in chiding her for her showboating. Interest and enthusiasm glittered in the bookish pony's eyes.

"Really? Then you must have some thaumic instruments, right? Maybe you really CAN help, after all!"

"Yes, yes, of course I do. Why? What did you detect?"

"I... I don't know. It's not like anything I've ever seen before. The scrying crystal exploded, and... the mark that it left couldn't have been anything but a bad omen."

"A mark, hmm? What kind of mark?"

Twilight hesitated for a moment, seemingly holding something back.

"...I don't remember. I didn't get a good look at it. It just didn't look good."

"Hmmm..." Trixie seemed dubious. "But it DID leave a mark, yes? A visible mark?"

"Well, yeah, of course. But what are we going to do about it?"

She was quick to change the subject.

"What do you MEAN, what are we going to do? There's no use just standing around TALKING about it, we have to go INVESTIGATE!"

Despite her agreement to work together, her voice was still as dramatic as ever.

"Investigate? You mean go all the way out into the plains and just... look at it?"

"Well DUUHH! Are you sure that genius brain of yours is working properly? What, you're just going to stand around panicking about it without even going to see what it IS? How can we possibly solve the problem if we haven't even laid EYES on it? Hmmmm?"

Her smile was mocking as she taunted the other unicorn.

"I-I guess you're right... I was so busy panicking about the unbalanced Myr that I never even considered just going straight there to try and solve whatever's causing it. But it's bound to be something terrible, isn't it? Nothing good could have caused a disturbance like this."

She seemed desperate not to go.

"What, are you SCARED? I thought you were all gung-ho about being a big hero and saving Equestria! Come on, we've no time to waste!"

With that, she disappeared inside for a moment and then trotted proudly out the door with a large saddlebag that clanked as she walked slung over her impressively caped back.

"Come with me, Twilight Sparkle, and let the Great and Powerful Trixie show you how REAL world-saving magic is done!"

Twilight had no choice but to follow the boastful magician as she began traveling at a steady pace, humming a dramatic tune as she made her way down the road and toward the vast plains of Equestria.

Things Get Serious

Since Trixie had been strangely adamant about foregoing the use of the train, they'd had to walk the entire way. Walking long distances was, of course, not very difficult for ponies, but it was still quite a long way to go, especially for unicorns. Fortunately it was relatively easy for them, with their telekinesis, to make use of multiple tools and items at once, and there was plenty of clean, drinkable water along the way, so their canteens remained satisfyingly full.

"Ahhhh! What a fantastic day! It is only natural that the pegasi would create such lovely weather for the Great and Powerful Trixie to enjoy as she goes to single-handedly save every pony in Equestria with an effortless flick of her horn! As backwoodsy and insignificant as your 'quaint' little cluster of hovels is, even Trixie will admit that the weather here is second to none. Much better than the dismal climate of Manehatten! One can hardly fathom how they put up with it, hmm?"

"Oh, I've heard of Manehatten! Applejack talks about it sometimes. Can't say that I've ever been, though."

"You really should travel more! As putrid and unclean as the streets of Manehatten are, there is something to be said for their cuisine. MUCH better than that of Ponyville, which Trixie is perplexed to find is almost entirely desserts."

"I don't think I've had any Manehatten cuisine..."

"...Hmph. You are not incredibly worldly, are you, Twilight Sparkle?"

"I guess not..."

It quickly became clear that the only common ground that they could think of was the subject of practical magic, and so they whiled away the hours discussing the latest advanced theories and units of measurement. Periodically, Trixie would remove one of the thaumic instruments from her saddlebag and make a big show of testing the nearby environment.

"Stand back! Prepare to be amazed as the Great and Powerful Trixie consults her magical globe, the likes of which are beyond your puny comprehension!"

Twilight rolled her eyes as mystical wind and sparkly magic swirled around the oddly gesturing magician, when suddenly Trixie cut the special effects and stared at the finely-engraved globe with a troubled expression. Upon the magically-suspended bronze globe were mounted hundreds of tiny interlocking shapes and sigils, which were mounted on rails and constantly shifting. She stopped walking for a moment, her dark eyes flicking all around as she observed the movement of the markings.

"What? Did you find something?" said Twilight, trying to see what Trixie was looking at.

"Sssh!"

The reply was unexpectedly serious and without snarky rebuttal, so Twilight fell silent. Trixie continued to stare deeply at the unfamiliar device; even Twilight hadn't practiced the use of such a complex object, although she could guess its purpose as a sensor of magical activity.

"Yes... yes, indeed, Trixie had her misgivings about the validity of your hysterics, but these truly are some troubling readings. The Myr should not be moving in such a manner. Best we pick up the pace, Twilight Sparkle."

"I understand. The source should be somewhere past that hill." She pointed to a protrusion in the ground, quite steep despite being such a small hill. With some effort the two unicorns carefully pushed their way up the hill; Trixie made it up before Twilight, apparently being in much better physical shape. Twilight could hear her gasp as she crested the top of the hill.

"What in Equestria...!?"

Twilight quickly scrabbled up to the top, anxious to see what had disturbed the magician so. Instantly, a bizarre sight met her eyes. Down in the valley below was a thick conifer forest, not an uncommon sight in the wilderness of Equestria. What was uncommon, however, was the bizarre coloration: the entire forest looked like some ridiculously huge target, with concentric circles of lighter trees interspersed with much darker circles of gnarled, dead branches that almost seemed to be tainted a dark red. On top of that, the magically-gifted ponies had a strange metallic taste in their mouths: a sure sign that this area was absolutely inundated with Myr in dangerous quantities. The air seemed to subtly vibrate and hum, something that would be invisible to the untrained eye. Such an environment was exactly the kind of thing that, in the olden days, would make the paranoid villagers declare an area to be haunted or forbidden. It was perhaps for the best, however, since they knew that prolonged exposure to this environment could be hazardous for the body in many strange and hideous ways. The two academic ponies exchanged a serious glance, communicating much with their eyes, testing each other's confidence. They looked again at the strange and dangerous display, before Trixie finally spoke.

"It seems that there is only one course of action. We must venture through the forest and to the center of the anomaly."

"Are you sure? You know what might happen."

"Yes, I do. However, you and I both know that such a thing cannot go unchecked. We took on this burden when we chose to become practitioners of advanced magic. We are currently the only thing that stands between our beloved land and possible doom. As such, I believe it is our duty to investigate and put a stop to this, no matter the risk to ourselves."

She turned to look at Twilight with a dead serious expression, her enigmatic eyes boring directly into her fellow mage's.

"We have no other choice."

Twilight was taken aback by the solemnity of the magician's voice. She had not thought of Trixie, usually boastful and irreverent, as having such a bold and serious side within her. Unable to return the intensity of the magician's gaze, she broke eye contact and stared back into the anomaly.

"I guess you're right."

Her eyes shifted back and forth, just a tinge of fear creeping into the back of her mind.

"We have to do it. For Equestria..."

"Are you ready?" the suddenly brave unicorn asked, still glaring intensely at Twilight.

"...Yes, I am. Let's go."

Upon that simple response, the two of them began to descend the slope towards the forest, uncertain of what mysterious thing awaited them at its center.

Ups and Downs

The two of them proceeded into the strange pathway, walls of densely packed foliage unnaturally pressed into shape all around them. The magically sensitive ponies could feel an almost indescribable feeling of lightness and elation within them as they soldiered on, almost as if they had just confessed their love to someone for the first time.

"It's an odd feeling, isn't it? Almost makes you not want to leave..." giggled Twilight as she beheld the wonders of the magically-twisted environment.

"I don't like it." It appeared that when Trixie had calmed down and wasn't boasting, she didn't put much effort into keeping up her strange manner of speech. It was the first time Twilight had seen her in such a relatively casual mood. "Understanding its mechanisms only makes it that much more disturbing. I don't like to know that I'm being manipulated."

Despite her words, Trixie seemed to be in a relatively good mood, although it was unclear if this was the effect of the background Myr or not.

"I guess it is kind of like that, huh..." said Twilight, her mood a little dampened. "If you're not careful, you'll end up staying too long and suffering for it."

"Thankfully, Trixie's fantastic brain is above falling for some half-baked siren's call, so there is no need to worry. Should you succumb to its wiles, Trixie will take a moment to seriously consider rescuing you."

"Uh, thanks, I guess?"

"No need to thank me. A small donation will more than suffice."

"I'll keep that in mind..."

They fell silent again, and as Twilight was just beginning to appreciate the bizarre aesthetic of their environment, her hoof fell upon something sharp.

"Ouch!" she cried out, bringing the wounded hoof up to her eyes to inspect. A huge thorn had been lying on the ground right in her way, and she'd completely missed it.

"Darn! I can't believe I didn't see that! Argh, that's gonna hurt for a while..."

She painstakingly pulled the thorn out of her hoof with her magic, Trixie looking back at her half-interested and waiting for her to finish. While she was standing there, she idly looked at the path ahead of them, and raised an eyebrow, giving a little whistle as though impressed.

"You may need to watch your step from now on..."

Twilight raised her head to see what the magician was looking at, and blinked a few times. The path ahead of them was absolutely littered with spiky thorns, and the surrounding foliage was beginning to give way to menacing brambles and dangerous-looking flowers. The trees were growing progressively deader and more gnarled, like a witch's forest from a storybook. The air ahead of them felt thick and heavy, and carried a somewhat unpleasant, stagnant odor.

"Well I'll be..."

"Trixie's pretty certain she knows what this is, but she'll check her thaumometer anyway."

She again carefully lifted the clacking, shifting bronze artifact from its case in her saddlebag and brought it up to her critical eyes.

"Yes... the amount of negative Myr in this area is highly unsafe. We had best proceed quickly, Twilight Sparkle. We won't last long in this environment."

Twilight looked thoughtful for a moment, rubbing her sore hoof against her other foreleg.

"I'm pretty sure I know a spell to protect us from the degenerative effects of negative Myr, but it won't stop it from feeling pretty terrible. It's worth casting, though, just to be on the safe side. This place looks pretty bad..."

"A protective ward would be a good idea, yes. There's no need to be reckless, after all."

Twilight dragged a circle in the dirt around them with her hoof, reciting an incantation from memory (she'd neglected to bring her spellbook.) The circle flared up with purple light, which seemed to jump from its foundation and dance over the skin of the ponies. The effect left the ponies disoriented, blinking away the blurriness in their eyes as the shock of magic entered their bodies.

“I'm... not sure this is any better...” said Trixie, looking a little nauseous.

“It is a little uncomfortable, isn't it...”

“Like an aura of persistent cartsickness.”

“It's... better than the alternative?” said Twilight, half trying to convince herself.

“...Sally forth.” Trixie was less than enthusiastic, gritting her teeth at the awful feeling.

Still, both ponies knew that without proper shielding the effects on their health could be catastrophic. They soldiered on through the highly-charged woods, a feeling of mild pain, despair, and an indescribable fear pervading their being as the negative Myr assaulted their auras.

“Highly unpleasant.” Trixie was noticeably less wordy than usual.

“I can't help feeling that something is watching us...” said Twilight, not in much better spirits than her companion.

“Something most likely is. This is a forest, after all. There was wildlife here. Luna forbid we run into something that was dangerous BEFORE the change.”

“Like an Ursa Minor?” said Twilight, somewhat mockingly, as she helped sweep away the increasingly silly blanket of thorns.

“Shut up.” Trixie's voice was cold as she cleared her half; she appeared to be unamused. The negative Myr was taking quite a toll on their moods, though thankfully the nauseating wards kept it from actually hurting them. They continued to press forward, Twilight favoring her non-injured hoof, when they suddenly stumbled into the second ring of positive Myr. They had been staring at the ground moping for quite some time at this point, so they had hardly noticed at all. Now, with the worst of the harmful aura behind them, they looked up and goggled at what they saw.

The positive Myr in this area was even greater than in the last, and the trees now grew to fantastic proportions. The coloration and distance had distracted them from this ridiculous growth when they were observing from afar, but close-up it looked like something out of Jack and the Magic Beanstalk. Huge, towering spires of branches and leaves disappeared into the slightly misty air, with ludicrously-proportioned flowers and fruits hanging in every possible location. Birds and woodland creatures could faintly be seen in the upper reaches, and from what the ponies could see, they were absolutely colossal compared to their proper size.

“This must have happened recently... they've grown, but they haven't, well... popped yet.”

“Indeed they haven't. You can tell as much from the chirping, the moving around, the breathing, et cetera.”

“I hope we're able to reverse this... I wouldn't want the animals to suffer.” said Twilight. Her time with Fluttershy had given her a new respect for the lives of woodland creatures, even gigantic ones, and she was genuinely worried for their health. Trixie rolled her eyes.

“The animals are what you're worried about? Let's focus on PONIES for now, animals later.”

“Well, yeah...!” She was a bit embarrassed at being called out like this. She was stomping a hoof in anger when she suddenly realized that it no longer hurt. “Oh, my wound's been healed!”

“No doubt the positive Myr at work, dear. Don't get all excited on me now. You're just lucky we're warded, or a kiss on your boo-boo wouldn't be the only thing you'd get.”

“Right...” She was still finding Trixie a little too standoffish for her liking, but she had to admit that the boastful magician was pretty talented. She relented, letting Trixie assess the foliage ahead of them.

With a little more effort, Trixie forced open a path through the woods, and they proceeded, trying not to catch the attention of the oversized wildlife.

Their journey continued in much the same fashion, with the two spellcasters forging on through increasingly Myr-infested areas. They were bursting out in ten-minute giggling fits one second, sobbing and arguing the next. They had quite lost their heads, but were still in enough control of their faculties to continue onward. Strange and malevolent creatures leered at them from the woods, until at some point they stopped seeing any animal life at all, a foreboding sign.

They were in the middle of emphatically shouting about the greatness of Nightshade's Fifth Theorem when suddenly they crossed some ill-defined threshold and the effects were completely canceled. They stopped in their tracks, stunned at the sudden neutrality they felt. It was a feeling unlike any they had ever sensed before, almost an oppressive nothingness in the air that left them feeling somehow thirsty.

“It can't be...” Trixie muttered under her breath, apparently realizing something. Twilight caught on quickly, a perplexed look creeping onto her face.

“Is it really possible...?” Trixie was in astonishment.

“No magic in the air at all...” mused Twilight. “I can't say I've ever witnessed anything like this. It's unheard of in Equestria.”

“Feels kind of... dry?” Trixie was having trouble putting her hoof on it. “We probably shouldn't stay here for long... this gives me the creeps. I'm not entirely sure if I've ever seen fit to use that particular tacky phrase before, but if anything has ever given me 'the creeps,' this is definitely it.”

“Well, we must be almost there. Just a bit further.”

“Yes, yes, of course. Onward, then.”

As they advanced through the relatively normal section of forest, a faint humming became audible. They looked at each other, both a little perplexed.

“Whatever it is, it's coming from the very center... that must be whatever's causing this.”

“Quite an odd noise...” Trixie thought aloud.

The humming was getting louder as they neared the center of the forest. Whatever it was almost certainly lay beyond the treeline in front of them. They looked at each other one last time before biting the bullet and pushing forward through the foliage, only to come out in a circular clearing and confront...

...the biggest apple they'd ever seen.

Trixie's expression slowly contorted into bewildered anger.

“What the FLYING F-”

The Big Apple

"-ISH!?" Trixie took a step back, gawking at the huge object.

Upon further inspection, it clearly wasn't a real apple. It hummed pervasively; the vibrations could be felt keenly, both on the ground and in the stomach. It appeared to be some kind of huge apple-shaped machine, with the outside painted a jolly red and the deeper steel-gray mechanics visible through intricate vents and openings cut into the sides of the thing. It seemed to be rotating incredibly slowly, though not doing much else.

"I have to say, this is the absolute LAST thing I expected to find in the center of these woods." said Twilight, walking up to the huge contraption. She tried to look into one of the openings, but couldn't see much. A steady, warm breeze escaped from within and caressed her face, making her eye twitch a little. "This must be the device that's causing the interference. I have to say, though, it really looks like..."

"A gigantic apple. Of all the things under the moon, the grave danger that the Great and Powerful Trixie is to vanquish is a gigantic apple. What kind of story is that!? This won't look good in the papers at all!"

"Shouldn't you just be glad it isn't something dangerous? We might be able to crack this problem without anyone getting hurt!"

"It's such an anticlimax! I thought I would have to combat some extraterrestrial beast or send a monster back to Tartarus! So much for heroics. You solve the mystery. Trixie's going to go take a power nap."

She slunk off to a corner of the clearing to lay down and sulk. Twilight sighed, turning to the mysterious object. “Guess I'll just start studying it.”

She set up with some of Trixie's thaumic instruments, gauging the artifact for various arcane things. She seemed to be getting rather excited as she put some serious brainpower into studying it. After an entire hour of this, Trixie had run out of newspapers to read, and narrowed her eyes at the studious unicorn.

“Aren't you finished yet? What more could you possibly hope to discover?”

“It's interacting with the surrounding magic in some incredible ways. This is so exciting! I've never seen anything like it! We could be on the verge of discovering an entirely new form of Myr!”

“A new discovery, hmm?” A flicker of interest showed on her face. “Hmph. Well, so long as you put Trixie's name on it, I suppose it's worth it.”

“What? But you haven't helped at all!”

“You're using TRIXIE'S instruments, aren't you?”

“But...!”

“You only got here by piggy-backing off of TRIXIE's confidence and poise. Without yours truly, you would still be cowering in Ponyville like a scared child! The LEAST you could do is put Trixie's name on your work!”

“At least help me out a little! You ARE trained in magic, right?”

“Are you even ASKING that question of the Great and Powerful Trixie?”

“...Right. So you can help me, then?”

“Fine, FINE! Once again, you can't do ANYTHING without crawling back to Trixie for help. Don't say I never did you any favors!”

With that, the two unicorns began working side-by-side to study the object. Though Twilight continued to be amazed and excited by it, Trixie did not have the same patience.

“Ugh! It's not even DOING anything!” Trixie cried out in frustration. “What's the fun in magic if it just sits there and spins!?”

“What, not enough snake-ropes and lightning bolts for you?” snarked Twilight.

“Ex-ACTLY!” said Trixie, totally missing the point. “It needs big fancy explosions or sparkles or SOMETHING! This is quite honestly the second most boring magical thing that Trixie has ever had the misfortune of laying her eyes on.”

“...What's the first?”

“Er, nevermind that.”

“I'm sure that if we just continue to carefully and methodically analyze the object from all angles, we can learn more about it and find the safest possible way to shut it down.”

“UGGHH! It's so BORING! Why couldn't it have been some EXCITING danger? Stupid thing!” She kicked the spinning apple in frustration.

Instantly, a shrill and piercing noise rang out through the forest, like an air raid siren but ten times worse. Trixie scrambled backwards as the apple spun around rapidly and one of the panels in the side opened up rather too organically for her taste, revealing a sinister and unearthly red eye that stared accusingly at her.

Twilight was stunned at the sudden activity of the long-dormant artifact, standing transfixed as it turned its eye toward the closer pony. The humming was coming to a crescendo, and a strange pulsing noise was beginning to be audible.

“Get out of the way, you idiot!” Trixie called out, but Twilight was frozen in fear. She hesitated for half a second before cursing “Luna blast it all...!” and charging forward.

She collided roughly into the side of the light, bookish unicorn with a loud THUD, sending her sprawling off to the side of the clearing. Immediately afterward, an ovular blast of energy shot out of the eye, smashing into the ground with a deafening noise right behind Trixie and causing a huge fissure to form in the ground from under Trixie's back hooves and pulling her in. She scrabbled on the loose dirt and rock, struggling to find purchase.

“T-Twilight! HELP!” the proud magician called out desperately as she slowly slid into the huge crevasse. Upon hearing the cry, Twilight finally came to her senses, shaking her head rapidly to clear her blurred vision. She could see her companion clinging to the side of the huge chasm and crying out for help, and almost before she knew what she was doing, she braced herself and concentrated on her magic. Her horn immediately began glowing brilliantly, a huge beacon of power extending from her head. As Trixie clung to the ledge for dear life, she was reminded of Twilight's valiant efforts against the Ursa Minor, marveling at the sheer magical power of Celestia's pupil.

The huge and malevolent apple was now venting a great deal of steam and hot air, its eye glowing brightly, the pulsing noise signaling another shot being lined up. Just as it was again reaching its crescendo, a gigantic boulder came out of nowhere and smashed forcefully into the side of the thing, sending it spinning and crashing off through the trees but not seeming to cause any severe damage. Twilight was dropping the huge rock on the ground, her horn flaring wildly from the exertion, when Trixie finally lost purchase on the crumbling earth and went careening backwards into the chasm.

“TRIXIE!” screamed Twilight, rushing with all of her strength to the edge of the chasm. Trixie fell and fell, her screams echoing up through the rift in the earth, when suddenly she was caught by an unseen force, floating gently but quickly back to the surface.

Twilight was incredibly relieved to see that her friend was safe, setting her down on the grassy earth nearby.

“I'm so glad you're okay! I can't believe I managed to catch you in time!”

“Never mind that, you amazing imbecile! We have to run!”

With that confusing statement, Trixie bolted off into the woods back towards the tunnel they had made, with Twilight following suit while the horrible thing let out an alien bellow behind them. The two of them ran with all of their might, exerting their weak unicorn bodies as much as they could, and didn't stop until they had cleared the forest and passed the hill.

"Well, you wanted it to be more exciting!" said Twilight as they slowed to a trot, still heading back to town.

"Oh, can it!" And the two ponies continued in strained silence, pondering the experience they'd just been through and wondering what they should do next. Although they hadn't yet solved the mystery, an invisible bond of friendship was beginning to form between the two drastically different spellcasters. How ready they would be to acknowledge such a fact, however, remains to be seen.

A Helpful Suggestion

When the two of them got back to town, they convened in Trixie's caravan since it was simply the closest place. The inside was small but comfortably and stylishly decorated with lots of hanging beads, lavish cushions, arcane crystals and gemstones, and gently-spinning thaumic instruments arranged all over. There seemed to be a spell in place on the caravan itself which prevented any outside noise from getting in, since even though it was set up on the edge of the busy Ponyville town square, the only sound that could be heard was that of running water and a soft, rhythmic clacking from a decorative bamboo deer-scare in the middle of the room. The effect was not unlike that of a fortune-teller's hut, and the pervasive but pleasant floral scent made it a surprisingly comfortable place to be.

Trixie entered roughly, clearly worn out from so much running. She hung her star-spangled hat and coat near the door and immediately flopped down on an enormous, luxurious beanbag-like cushion near the wall that seemed to serve as her bed. She rolled around on her back for a bit, enjoying it, while Twilight curiously looked around at her fellow mage's travelling abode. She was just beginning to consider asking if she could borrow some of the arcane tomes in Trixie's small bookcase when the magician finally spoke.

"Those instruments were expensive, you know."

Twilight grimaced; she had been hoping that Trixie would just let it slide.

"You're the direct pupil of Cel-esss-tia herself," said Trixie in a mocking, sing-song voice, "so I don't want to hear any excuses. I'll be sending along the bill later."

She flopped her head backwards again, closing her eyes and spinning a pair of meditation balls in midair.

"W-Well, I'm sorry about your instruments... but we should be focusing on the situation at hand! What are we going to do about that... that monster?"

"Ohhh, I don't know. The thing pushes away Myr quite powerfully, so I doubt either Trixie's magic or yours would be of any help. Unless you want to just fling rocks at it all day."

"That's just it! It can't be a magical artifact. It pushes away all the Myr in the area, and I wasn't detecting any with the instruments, either. It was something else... I can't put my hoof on it, but I could definitely detect something. It was like it was turning on and off, over and over, really quickly...? Argh, I don't get it!"

"Ah, yes. I noticed as much when I was making a graph of the readings."

"Oh really? Do you still have it?

"It's just about all I DO have from that debacle, yes. Heeere you go..." she said, floating the paper out of the saddlebags near the door and smacking Twilight gently in the face with it, clearly disinterested.

"Ah, thank you!" she said, taking it into her own magical grasp and leveling it in front of her eyes. "Hmm, this is VERY interesting. Looks like there's a pattern here. This requires some SERIOUS study."

"Well, could you do your very intense and verbal contemplation elsewhere? Trixie has a show to put on in less than an hour, and she needs some serious R&R to prepare."

"Wait, you're just going to give up?" Twilight said, becoming desperate. "But I need your help!"

"The show must go on, I'm afraid. And if I want to squeeze any bits out of this Luna-forsaken hole in the ground, I need to do it around lunchtime. Ponies with full mouths tend to empty their wallets more freely."

"What am I going to do? You're the only other pony in town who knows anything about this stuff!"

"Look, Twilight Sparkle. Trixie is grateful to you for your help and all, but it seems that she may not be the great and powerful expert that you need in this situation. Her expertise lies firmly in the magical and amazing, and whatever this thing is, it is decidedly NOT magical. It's something else entirely. You may need to find somepony else to help you."

"But who? If I don't need a magical expert, what kind of expert do I need?"

"Oh, how should I know. An expert in apples, maybe?" Trixie replied sardonically.

"Hmmm... you think so? Maybe... you never know, you just might be right!" Twilight said in an unexpectedly serious manner. "I'll try that, then. Thanks for all your help, Trixie!"

"Eh?" was all Trixie could manage before Twilight ran out of the mystical caravan and off towards the edge of town, leaving the confused magician staring after her.

"Oh, whatever." She laid her head back again, floating a drink over and nestling further into her cushion.

The Expert

Applejack had finally finished her inspections and was looking over the orchard with a sense of satisfaction. Despite her speed and experience, the orchard always took the better half of the day to walk, and even the solid earth pony was a little tired. She had just sat back and was enjoying a glass of lemonade when she suddenly heard a voice right next to her ear.

"Applejack, I need your hel-"

"WhhAAHHH!" Applejack jumped at the sudden appearance of Twilight, whose worried face was mere inches from hers.

"Jiminy, you gotta WARN me before you just run up and start talkin' into my ear, Twilight! You dang near gave me a heart attack."

"I'm sorry, Applejack, it's just that there's something I need your help with and I don't want anypony finding out and getting upset."

"Well why didn't you just say so? The family's off down to Appleloosa this week, there ain't nopony around but me."

"It's about that magical disturbance I was telling you about earlier. Me and Trixie went to take a look at it."

"Oh yeah? I'm guessin' you didn't end up fixin' whatever it was if yer comin' and talkin' to me about it again. Are you sure Celestia ain't back yet?"

"Positive. Anyway, we need your help to solve this thing."

"Shucks, Twilight, I done told you I don't know nothin' about magic. I think the biggest mystery here is why y'all keep comin' to ME for help."

"That's just the thing, Applejack! It's not a magical object that's causing it. It's a giant apple."

Applejack raised an eyebrow at the excited unicorn, dumbstruck.

"Say what now?"

"I said it's a giant apple."

"Well, you sure as sugar got my attention. Explain."

"We don't know much about it... I think it's some kind of metal beast. It's got an eye, and it shot some kind of beam at us. All it's doing otherwise is sitting there and pushing magic away."

"So hold on. Y'all found a giant monster that LOOKS like an apple."

"Yes, like I just said it's a huge metal--"

"And y'all thought to come to me because I know about apples."

"Well, umm... yeah."

"Twilight, that's just about the dumbest idea I've heard all week. What do you expect ME to do? Buck it?"

"I don't know! It was Trixie's idea. Look, maybe you can take a look at this sheet and just see if something comes to you."

"If it'll get you to calm down and go to Canterlot about this, then sure."

Twilight opened up her saddlebag and floated the paper over to the table. Applejack took a look at it, not expecting to see anything, but did a double-take and began to scrutinize it more carefully.

"What did y'all say this was?"

"It's a recording of this strange energy we were detecting from within the apple."

"And y'all thought it was just magic, huh?"

"Well, I don't know what else it could be."

Applejack gave a hearty chuckle.

"This ain't magic, Twilight!"

She tapped the table in an oddly specific way, almost as if she was ordering a drink.

Suddenly, a strange rumbling began in the ground. Twilight looked around, confused, thinking something was wrong. The dirt began to vibrate a little under their hooves as an unseen trapdoor opened with a mechanical whir in the very earth next to the barn, revealing a set of stairs. Soft beeping and whirring could be heard from within, and a faint blue glow was visible.

Twilight gawked at the secret entrance, then turned back to the earth pony, who was grinning confidently.

"I reckon this here... is BINARY!"

My Black Hat is a Stetson

Applejack left Twilight completely dumbstruck as she trotted down the wide steps into the newly-revealed hidey hole. It took Twilight a full two minutes to recover from her stunned silence and hurry after the apparently not-so-simple earth pony.

"Just what IS all this, Applejack?" Twilight said in a hushed voice as she stared in awe at the cogs and machinery that surrounded the stairs.

"Oh, it's just a little somethin' I slapped together to keep the fillies away from my gear."

She stopped in front of the reinforced glass door to level one eye with an optical device on the door. After a moment, it beeped and the loud clack of the latch undoing itself rang through the stairwell. Twilight could hardly believe what she was seeing: at least a half-dozen tall, black towering machines beeped and whirred softly against one wall, blinking like a red and green constellation. To the right was the workshop where Applejack presumably built these insane devices, dominated by huge and bizarre mechanisms covered in drills and saws that it didn't look like an earth pony could ever hope to maneuver. To the left, dominating the entire room, were three enormous screens with various readouts underneath. There didn't seem to be an obvious means of input there, either, a fact that didn't escape Twilight's analytical mind. The blue glow from these monitors accounted for most of the light in the room, though some supplementary electrical lights served to eliminate the remaining dimness.

What struck Twilight Sparkle, besides the obvious, was the relative coolness of the place. She looked all around and then up at the ceiling to discover that there was a vent built right into it.

"Oh, you like that? Yeah, it pumps air outta this ol' oak tree up top. Pretty smart, if I do say so myself."

"Applejack, what IS this?" repeated Twilight, wondering if she was in a dream. It would certainly explain a lot of things.

"Like I was sayin', it's just a vent that pumps air outta the-"

"No, no, I mean the whole thing! This!" She gestured around the room with her face. "All this metal, and the machines, and... I've never seen anything like this in my life!"

"Well, shucks, Twilight, that's a mighty nice thing to say. Yeah, I did try to make 'em pretty modern lookin'. The towers over there've all got the highest end processors I could find at the time, and--"

"Applejack, you're not listening to me! WHAT is ALL this STUFF?"

"Uhhh... computers? And a lil' workshop. Oh, and there's a break room off in the corner."

"What's a computer?" Twilight said, getting desperate. She wasn't used to being the one with no idea what was going on.

"Aw, shoot, Miss Fancy-Hooves, you're tellin' me you never ran into one of these up in Canterlot? I woulda thought you'd've seen at least one. Like the palace computers, at least."

"They have these in the CASTLE?"

"Oh, yeah. They're kind of a big deal. Celestia's got one of the most secure nodes on the map."

"Hold on hold on hold on hold on. Back up. YOU built all this?" She was still trying to process what Applejack was telling her.

"Well sure! Took me a while at first on account a' no fancy-schmancy horn, but I had some help from this real nice unicorn in town who was buildin' her own tower-"

"But I thought you were just an apple farmer!"

"What, you think just 'cause I'm southern I can't have some book-smarts?" said Applejack, a little indignantly. "Apple-buckin' ain't ALL I do."

"S-sorry, I didn't mean to imply that. It's just... surprising, is all."

"Well, it's here. And I reckon I can help you with yer apple problem, so I suggest you start bein' a little more gracious."

She trotted over to the huge console and fed the paper Twilight had given her into a slot, which accepted it.

"If my eyeballs're as good as I think they are, this doohickey should be able to de-cipher what was on that paper of yours."

Twilight had fallen silent, thinking about the huge multitude of books she would need to read on the subject of computers.

The computer screen was flashing and flickering, with strange characters and numbers cycling wildly all over it. Applejack stared up at it analytically, then turned back to Twilight.

"Hey, since yer here, could you help me get this ol' thing plugged in? It's kind of a chore without a helpin' horn." She gestured to a largish cord sticking out of the wall, with the jack pointing outwards.

Twilight trotted over, looking at the thing inquisitively, and picked it up with her magic.

"Where am I supposed to put it?"

"Oh, just stick it right up under here," Applejack replied casually, lifting the back of her mane.

Twilight goggled at what she was seeing. A metallic hole, at least a quarter of an inch wide, set into the base of Applejack's skull. There was no doubt that it was a socket, a port for the very jack she was holding.

"Applejack... what is THAT?" she asked for the third time that day.

"What, you think I'm gonna be pushin' a bunch of tiny little buttons with my big ol' earth pony hooves? Computin's mostly a unicorn game, unless you get yourself one of these babies. They don't call me Applejack fer nothin'."

"I thought you were named after the drink...?"

"Well, yeah, that too. Just plug the darn thing in, will ya?"

Hesitantly, delicately, Twilight maneuvered the jack into the earth pony's skull. It clicked into place and Applejack twitched violently, causing Twilight to jump backwards.

"Oh my gosh Applejack I'm so sorry I didn't mean to-"

"Nah, it's fine. That always happens. But hey, check it out! I'm a magical unicorn! WooOOOoooo!"

With the cord trailing from her skull, she looked at the machinery on the other side of the room, and it began gyrating rhythmically in a strange sort of dance.

"I have to say, Applejack, I am VERY impressed." Twilight had managed to get over her initial shock, but just barely. "I didn't know anypony in Ponyville had such an intellectual pursuit."

"Aw, shoot, Twilight, you don't have to butter me up. Thank you, though. That means a lot." She was blushing just a little, and turned toward the screen to hide it. "Oh! I think we got somethin'. Looks like it was never meant to be encrypted. I'm surprised Trixie even bothered to scribble down this many numbers. Musta taken ages."

"She's more skilled than you might believe, AJ. I think we should try to be more friendly with her."

"Well... I'll think about it. Anyway, take a gander at this."

Twilight trotted back over toward the monitor, and gazed up at it. Out of the roiling stew of swirling characters, a message was beginning to form.

THIS IS PROBE FF0000

WE HAVE LANDED IN

RESPONSE TO A

NOTABLE INCREASE IN

RADIO WAVES FROM

THIS PLANET

HOWEVER IT CONTAINS

MANY THINGS WHICH

ARE HIGHLY ILLOGICAL

AND NOT SUITED TO

A SCIENTIFIC SOCIETY

WE HAVE TAKEN

STEPS TO CORRECT

THIS

TO NEGOTIATE

PLEASE INTERFACE

WITH THIS UNIT

"What in tarnation...?" It was Applejack's turn to look dumbfounded.

"It looks like they've come from a civilization not of this world! And they want to... wipe out magic!?" Twilight was alarmed again, but at least she understood what was going on this time.

"Well that just ain't right. They can't just come and take our magic without askin' just 'cause they don't like it."

"I was right... this really IS dangerous!"

"Well, hold on. If they're tellin' me to interface with 'em, they must be on the network somewhere. That means I can open up a line and start negotiatin'. We learned about this from the whole Appleloosa debacle."

"Uh, I think it might be a liiiittle too late for that."

"Why?"

"Um, because Trixie kicked it and it seemed pretty mad and tried to kill us."

"Well consarnit! Looks like THAT option's out the window."

"What are we going to do now, Applejack?"

An eager, devious grin spread across the earth pony's face.

"Well, if they ain't willin' to let me in... I'll just have to FORCE my way in!"

"You can do that?"

"Ohhh, yeah I can. Just you wait. We'll have this troublemakin' apple shut down in a jiffy."

She turned back to the console, bringing up several new programs and a command prompt, keen to get started. Twilight could only look on as the earth pony gave a little chuckle.

"...I prefer Linux, anyway."