Princess Detective jakkid166

by jakkid166

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Profanity, Violence, Princess Celestia, Human, Main 6
Length: 5045

Equestira is real, and it is rule by the three princesses, Celestia and Luna. But what happen when they need to go on vacation? They hire a new man to do they job while they gone...

In the city of Canterlot live the two Princess sisters of Equestria. Their names is Princess Celestia and Princes Luna, and together they make the mighty Princess Team. But even when you is a million years old someitms you gotta take a facation. So, Celestia dna Luna decide to win a free vacation from the lotery and have to have somebodey else do their princess crap while they are away. But the question is, who will be worthy of the title of Princess?

its me

Published 2019-05-02 17:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-06-28 18:43:22 UTC

Transferal of Power

One day (or maybe two), Celestia was in the castle that is inside her throne room. But nothing was happening. She had a desk in fronta her throne and she started slamming her face on it really hard, so hard that she got 3 nosebleeds

"Uggggh," said Celestia, "Being a Princess SUCKS! Everything is so BORING. I am so bored I am going to choke on bored and die."

"Stop fucking whining," said Luna. "We is princess! We have duties thou must acquire of Equestria. And we have to hold the sun up in the sky. If we do not exist, Equestria dies from the sun falling onto it."

Celesia took a sip of her mornig coffee. "Who cares? Everyone in Equestria is annoying anyway."

Luna shooked her head. "Celstia, you are being a shitty bitch. We need a cure for thou boredum!"

"Like what?"

"I know, I shall will buy thou a lotery ticket!" said Luna. So Luna walked outta the throne room and went to the gas station which is in the castle and went in the conveenence store inside it.

"Hey cashier pony can I hast some Beef Jerky?" said Luna.

"Sure" said the cashier. "But this is Eqestria so it is actualy Vegan Beef Jerky."

"Oh yeah good point." said Luna. So she got the beef jerky and took it back to Celestia. "Hey Celestia I got the beef jerky like I said. It is thou favorite flavor: Lottery Ticket."

So Celstia and Luna opened their lottery ticket flavored beef jerky and scratched off the jerky with the United States American dimes I gave them earlier. But they was shocked at something

"Holy dick!" said Celestia. "We just won a free vacation to Miami!"

"Sweet!" said Luna "Now we can have roast and relaxaton."

"But wait," said Celestia. "We has princess duties! How will they get done without us?"

"We need somebody to cover our shift while we are away," said Luna. "But who in Equestira is worthy enough to claim the Princess title?"

~ MEANWHILE ~

"Call," I said and I put 50 bits on the table. I was playing Poker Hold Em with the Twilight and her friends, and it was super intense game because all our bits was on the line and if Fluttershy did not win she wold have to close business and all her animals will die.

"I go all in," said Rarity and she folded.

"I bet 80 detective dollars!" said Rainbow

"Go fish" said Applejack.

"Okay now is the part where everybody show their cards," said Twilight.

Twilight had five of a kind with kings.

Rarity had one of a kind with two

Applejack had cards against humanity cards.

Fluttershy had a full house!

Pinkie Pie had a cold

and Rainbow Dash was a straight.

But then I showed my cards and I had a fourova kind with that card that says J on it!

"I win!" said Twilight and she starte to take the money but I SLAMMED a knife into the able and said "Notso fast!"

"What?" said Twilight.

"Actually I win," I said. "I have the four J's. The J stands for jakkid i think, and thats higher than a king."

"But I have five of a kind," said Twilight. "Thats more than four I think."

"No," I said and I pulled out 4 pieces of paper and wrote "jakkid card" on them. "There now I have eight of a kind. I win"

"Dammit jakkid!" said Twilight. "This why I dont like playing poker with you! You know all the secret tricks! And now you gonna bankrupt Fluttershy!"

"Sorry," I said.

"Its okay jakkid I forgive you," said Twilight. "Anyway what do you wanna do now?"

"Im gonna go for a walk and breathe in some fresh hair," I said. I walked outside and breathed really hard for a while but something was weird.

I looekd around but then a bunch of PONIES in BLACK SUITS showed up and punched me in the face and tied me up and beat me up a bunch gagged me and blindfold me and earplug me and nose plugged me and put me in a sack and carried me away.

A while later I woke up and the sack was taked off of me and all my blind and no smell and my earplugs and gag was taken off. I looked around and saw Celestia and Luna!

"Oh hey Celestia and Luna what do you want?"

"We needed to talk to you," said Luna. "So we used the normal way of getting people to us."

"That makes sense," I said. "Anyway what you need me for?"

"Well you see," said Luna "Me and Celestia just bought a free vacation to Miami. Not the one on earth but the pony Miami. The one in Equestria"

"Oh yea that place. Ive been there its pretty cool. Lots of murders to solve."

"Yeah well while we gone we need sombody else to do our Princess stuff. Do you think you can handle the big ass of the Princess job?"

"Wait what the hockey?" I said. "Why me?"

"Because," said Celestia "You are Equestrian hero who has saved us from great dangere many times. You are the only main character we can trust this deed to."

"Hmmm" I said. "Wait so do I get to be a princess forever?"

"No detective jakkid, its only for like a week. But then you go back to whatever your normal job is."

"I see!" I said. "Okay you people I will do it, but only if you pay me good money and also sign this Terms and Conditions so I am not liabel for any damages that happen. Detective jakkid166 is a loose cannon."

"Fine," said Luna and she pulled out a crayon and signed the paper. "Okay jakkid we leaving now, make sure to do princess stuff while we are gone!"

and then a taxi drove into the throne room and Celestia and Luna got in and it drove off.

"Wow," I said "Im a princess now. That's insane yo. What will I do first? SO many options."

I looked around the throne room but I got no ideas. So I got my cell phone. "Hey Twilight youre a princess right?"

"Yeah I guess."

"What do you do for fun?"

"I like to play Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney on the Nintedno DS. But they also have it for the Switch and PS4 and Xbox One and PC and Nintendo 3DS and on phones."

"Aww yeah thats my favorite game series. But I already played all those, what else do you do for fun?"

"That was the only thing."

"Fuck!" I said and I was gonna hung up but I was mad so I left the call going so Twilight wold get charged money for using up talk time minutes on her cell phone plan. "Okay well I guess I should porobably do something important. But what?"

I thoughtabout it. "Wait I GOT IT!" and I ran to the door and it was closed. So I said to the door "New princess law: All dors are now open" and then the door was open.

TO BE CONTINUED

The Politecal Debate

But as soon as I stepped my foot into th hallway, Twilight ran in front of me then teleported in front of me. "Detective jakkid!" said Twilight.

"Its PRINCESS Detective Jakkid now!" I said.

"Yes and you know what that means right?"

"Yes I do, but instead of yes I actually mean no."

"It mean you must do the DUTIES OF A PRINCESS!"

"DAMMIT!" I said "But I want to have FUN!"

"Too bad" said Twilight and she shove a list in my face. "This is all the princess stuff you have to do today. The first thing is the Political Debate"

"What" I said. "But I dont know anything about poletecs. I voted for myself in the last election"

"Well you better learn caus the debate is in FIVE MINUTES!" shouted Twilight.

"Oh no" I said "What will I do?"

~ AT THE DEBATE ~

"Okay" said Twilight on the stage. "We are here in Canterlot Castle for the anual political debate of Equestria. The first debaters are Crankey Doodle Donkey from Ponyville, and Elephant Joe from Elephant Land."

so a donkey and an elephant got on the stage

"Okay first question" said Twilight "What is your openion on Futurama?"

"I like that show," said the elephant

"Me too." said the donkey.

and then they shook hands and got off the stage.

"Theyre right," said me to the person i was in the crowd sitting next to. "Futurama is a good show."

"Up next" said Twilight, "Princess Detective jakkid166 from Los Angeles vs. Hans Toyota from Pony Istanbul."

So I got up on stage and a pony wearing a thing you wear on your head got on stage too.

"First question" said Twilight "What is your opinion on politics?"

"I LOVE politics" said Toyota and the crowd cheered.

"Uhhh" I said and I used my DETECTIVe skills to deduce that the crowd cheering meant that the crowd likes politics too. "Yeah well I DOUBLE love politics!"

and the crowd DOUBLE cheered and Toyota looked at me all mad cause he knew I was winning.

"Okay Jakkid gets the first point," said Twilight. "Questione two! Should Equestria stock pile nukes for nuclear warfare?"

"I keep police nukes in the police station" I said. "Does that count"

"No said Twilight" said Twilight.

"No we should not have those," said Toyota. "Because Equestria did not invent nukes yet so we dont know what those are."

"Oh yeah good point!" said Twilight "Okay Toyota gets a point, so you are on Equal Standing. This next question will win all the money"

"Damn I gotta be careful what I say" I think to myself.

"Final question!" said Twilight. "What is you opinion on the winner of the curent US president: Arnold Scwazeneger?"

"Aw HELL YEAH!" I said "I saw terminator 1 2 3 4 5 6 and 7 and he was good in ALL those except the ones he wasent in."

"WRONG!" shouted toyota. "Arnold is a good actor, but all the terminators after 2 SUCK!"

"SHIT!" I said and the crowd agreed with Toyota and went like "OOOOOOOH" and clapped for him

"Toyota wins the point," said Twilight "And he wins the debate!"

"Dammit!" said me "Wait." and i got an idea

"NEW PRINCESS LAW!" I shouted "I get all of Toyota's points."

"Wait what" said Toyota but Twilight gave me all his points

"Haha," I said "It feels good to win with skill."

"Jakkid you idiot!" said Toyota "You cheat!"

"I didnt cheat I just broke the rules."

"But you wasent even right in your political answers!"

"So what? This a political debate, who cares if you right or not"

"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR" Toyota mash his teeth so hard they all cracked into pieces "Dammit! Im going back to Pony Istanbul. Fucking cheater jakkid." and he got off the stage and ran away. "This is Istanbullshit"

"YEEEEAH" I shouted and the crowd cheered for me, the winner Princess Detective jakkid166. I looked at Twilight "Okay whats next?"

"You must do the Executions that are take place today."

"WHAT?" I said and I got REALLY mad. "Detective jakkid does not kill people! I am a pacifier"

"No not that" said Twilight "In Equestria the word "executed" means they won the lotery and get a million dollars"

"Oh okay cool," I said "Lets go execute ponies then!"

After we did that I had a bunch of ponies followeing me because they wanted my autograph. This was cause I was already famous Detective jakkid166, but being also a princess made me Double famous.

"Please sign my glass of milk Detective jakkid!" said Rainbow dash.

"Okay" so I grabbed a pen and stuck it in the milk and wrote "jakkid166" on the milk.

"Thanks" said Rainbow

"Congratulations jakkid," said Twilight. "You have complete all your princess duties for the day. Now you can do whatever you want"

"Sweet" I said "But what can we do?"

"We can take a ride in the special princess Hot Rod," said Twilight. And she puleld out car keys and the car drove into the throne room and ran over all the ponies that were following me but the car has really soft tires so they were okay.

"Sweet!" I said and I got in with Twilight "Lets ride." and I drove it out of the throneroom and onto the street of Canterlot. We stopped and parked on a fire hydrant and I noticed a pony standing outside.

"Hey pony what you doing?" I said at him.

"Im about to smoke a cigarette," said the pony.

"WHAT?" I said "You cant do tat! Smoking kills!"

"No it doesnt," said the pony and then he took out a cigarette and smoked it but then he got lung cancer and died.

"FUCK!" I said and I looked around because if any ponies saw this they woulde think I killed him! "Twilight quick help me hide the body!"

So Me and Twilight picked up the guys dead body and took him into the Gas Station and put him inside the soda machine where he wouldnt be found. "Phew," i said "That was close."

"Yeah it was," said Twilight "But what do we do now?"

"I cannot let another liveing soul be harmed by the phalic lure of cigarette!" I said. "From now on, ALL smoking is illegal in Equestria!"

"Gasp!" said Twilight "But what about smoking weed?"

"No, weed is okay. Just tobacco is bad"

"Congratulations jakkid you just saved Equestria from lung cancer!" said Twilight. "What will you do next."

And I got a intense look in my glasses and I put my finger on my glasses and they glowed like in anime. "Its time for me to make some new laws."

TO BE CONTINUED

Not my Fault

"MAKE OUT OF THE WAY!" I THUNDERED into the castle while twilight LIGHTNINGED into the castle behind me.

"But Princess Detective jakkid166!" said Twilighte "What are you gonna make new laws for?"

"For to help the ponies of Equerstia!" I say. "New princess law: Dying is not allowed."

"Wow jakkid that is genius!" said Twilight. "What other porblems do you solve?"

"Lets go outside and see wahat people is suffering from." so me and Twilight went back ouside and walk down the streets of Cantinglot.

"Look," said Twilighte "There is bad stuff!" and she point to a guy who just got murderd.

"Hey I said dying is illegal!" I said and I put him in jail. "Anyway what now?"

"You gotta solve the murder, cause you is princess DETECTIVE jakkid166!"

"New princess law: Everyone else solve the murder for me" I said. And then all the town ponies went to go find the true culpit.

"Holy crap," said Twilight. "You are realy good at being princess."

"Yeah I am," said me. "I shoud get paid more. How much do princess get paid?"

"3000 dollar an hour."

"NEW PRINCESS LAW: I get paid 3001 dollar an hour!"

"WHAT?!" said Twilight "But you canot do that, you will kil the economy!"

But it was too late, the ecomony was collapsed and Twilight and us looked around and buildings was fire and stuff.

"Detective jakkid!" said a pony and they come up to me with the murderer pony. "I found the cuplrit!"

"Sweet" said Twilight "Now jakkid can do tha paperwork to put him in jail."

"WHAT?" I said. "I dont want to do paperwork! New princess law: Murders dont go to jail."

"Hell yeah!" said the murderer pony and he ran free.

"What the fuck?" said Twilight. "Jakkid you cant do that!"

"Yea I can I'm a princess."

"But these laws is wrong!"

"New princess law: You dont talk anymore."

Twilight was mad but she couldent talk anymore so she give me the middle finger and ran away.

"Wait," I said. "I am being a dick again jus like in the christmas special. TWILIGHT come back!"

So Twilight came back and I said "Im sorry Twilight you can talk, I am letting power get to my head. I need you to make sure I dont go insane mad with power!"

SO Twilight came back and said "Its okay jakkid. What do we do next?"

"Shti!" I said "We gota fix the economy!" so i said "New princess law: I get paid $3000 an hour." and then everything was fixed.

"That was close," I said. "Princessship is dangerous. It warp you mind. Thankfully my detective mind can handle it. But stil I must figure out how to change laws without become corrupt. But I had good intentions! What do I do twilight?"

"Well," Twilight "I heard that road to Hell is paved with good intentions."

"Youre RIGHT!" I said. "That must mean that th road to HEAVEN is paved with BAD intentions! So I gotta try to be a BAD princess, and then everything will be GOOD!"

"That makes sense," said Twilight.

"Yeah! So whats the first problem of Equestira we gotta solve?"

"There is lots of bad guys."

"Good point," I said. "So we gotta go let all the bad guys outta jail!" so I looked at Tartarus which was right next to us and we went inside. We walk through the halls and there was all the so many evil bad guys, like Tirek and Co Zyglow and Discord and Joseph McCarthy.

"Damn this place sucks," I said "No wonder no one ever commit crime, except when they do. Which is always."

So I walk into the middle of Tartus and I say aloud "NEW PRINCESS LAW: You all are free to go!" and so everyone got outta their pirson cells and came to me.

"Why the fuck you let us go?" said Tirek.

"To SAVE EQUESTRIA!" I said.

"What"

"Guys never mind lets go do some crazy shit," said Discord. "It is chaos time!"

"Hell yeah!" said Cozy Glow and they three all left and went to wreck havock on the world.

"Another job well done," said me. Twilight and Detective jakkid166 went outside and watch as Tirek went around punching ponies in the face and they started crying because it hurt a lot. Just like in that other story

"Uhhh how is this suposed to make Equestria better?" said Twilight.

"I dont know this was your idea." I said. I watchd as all the other villains whoever those are came outta Tartarus and went around doing evil stuff.

"Maybe this wasnt the best thing to do," said Twilight.

"Maybe not but oh well too late now. Lets go back to castlelot and figure out what to do next." so I rode twilights back into the castle and she slammed me into the floor.

"Alright," I said "Now, we have done the political debate and fixed Equestrias laws. Do those dumb pirncesses even do anything else?"

"Hmmm" said Twilight. "I think sometimes they play Smash Bros. Melee together. We could do that"

"WHAT?" I said. "melee is good but Ultimate is the best."

"Yes but royal budget cannot afford a switch."

"No worry!" I said and I pulld my switch outta my pocket. "Detective salary easily cover the cost of the Switch!"

"Oh sweet!" said Twilight and so we played Smash Bros ultimate on the Royal TV. (Twilight likes to play as Link but I play as myself becaus I am actually the 4th DLC charater.)

~ LATER TIME ~

"Woooooooho!" said Twilight after I beat her for the -5th time.

"I change my mind," I said. "Smash Bros is easy when you are a pony and dont have fingers in the way of you trying to pushe buttons."

"You just mad because you cant solve a case in Smash bros," said Twilight. But then there was a SHOOKING SOUND

"What to hell?" I said and I look around. "What is goign on?"

But then a wall BURST OPEN and all the bad guys from Tartarys came in and corner us both. "Detectiv jakkid166 and Princess Twilight Sparkle!"

"What no I'm the Princess here." I said.

"Whatever" said Tirek. "We are evil, and so we ar gonna steal all of you guys magic so we can RULE THE WORLD!"

"Damn I forgote about that." I said. "Wait but im a Detective, I dont have magic."

"Oh yeah darn." said Tirek. "Ok well TWILIGHT I am stealing you magic now!"

"NOOOOOOOOO!" said Twilight and Tirek SUCK HER DRY.

"Hahaha," said Tirek "I am like a magic vampire. Did you ever see that movie called Twilight?"

"No," I said "I hate dose movies."

"WHAT?" said Tirek. "Twilight is the BEST movies! Tetective jakkid I am gonna sit you down and make you watch ALL the Twilight movies until you like them!"

"WHAT?" I said "NO!"

"Yea wel what are you gonna do bout it?" said Tirek and he laughed.

So I pulld out my gun and said "Did you forget about this idiot?"

"Bulets dont work on me!" said Tirek "I am ivnecible!"

"This is not my shooting people gun." I said and I SHOOT IT INTO THE AIR and it explode into the sky and it sayed "PRINCESS CELESTIA AND LUNA GET BACK TO CASTLE RIGHT NOW PLEASE"

"Fuck bitch!" said Tirek and he punch mein the face. "We are put you in dungeon. I am the princess now."

"Dammit," I said "You peace of dick!"

But then a pony ran up to me and said "HEY jakkid we found another murderer!" he said and held up some random pony I dont know.

"Cool thanks," I said and I fall unsconscious.

TO BE CONTINUED

The Chapter where i win

"Ahh now this is a life," said Celestia as she drink her Peni Colada in Pony Miami. She was relaxin at a chair in the beach baking in the sun.

"Yes it isth," said Luna drinking a Miller High Life. "It wase such a greateth idea to come here and leavest Detective jakkid in charge."

"I'm agree," said Celestia. "i sure hope he dident go mad with power and misinterpet the saying 'the road to hell is pave with good intentions' and release all the vilains from tartarus and fire the Special Princess Beacon into the air to let us know we have to come back and help fight them and then jakkid dies at the end."

"Yeah that would suck," said Luna.

"Wait whats that?" Celestita said looking in the distance.

Luna looked too. "Oh for fucketh sake."

They saw in the air sky was the words "PRINCESS CELESTIA AND LUNA GET BACK TO CASTLE RIGHT NOW PLEASE".

~ MEANWHILE ~

"DAMMIT!" said Twilight as she slam the bars of our dungen cell with her hoof fists. "Let us OUT!"

"no" said Tirek.

"Why not?" said Twilight.

"Because im evil and you suck."

"Shit"

and tirek left.

Twilight turn back to me. because the vilains knew I was skilled dective, they take special care in making sure I wouldent leave, so they chained my gun to the wall.

"Dammit!" I said "I cold bust us out, but I dont go nowhere without my gun."

"We just gotta wait for Celestit and Luna to get back!" said Twilighte.

"But im the detective, im supposed to solve the case."

"Oh yeah. Well they can get here and bust us out then you can go beat the villains"

"Sweet" I said and I sit down and sent a message on a discord server saying "being in a dungeon sucks".

~ BEANWHILE ~

Celeste and Luna had got back at to Canterlot and was looked at how it had already got all destroyed up and shit. Buildings was flaming and cars were crashing and the News Papers was not for the correct dates

"Art thou shitting me?" said Luna "We wa gone for like an hour."

"Okay well lets kill the bad guys and then we can go back to vacation," said Celeste.

"But how art we gonna do that?" said Luna "We are big and fatteth so we cant hide very well."

"I got a idea," said Celestia and she pull out a carton of Newport cigaretts. "Royalty don't smoke, so if we smoke these cigaretes nobody will recognize us."

"Oh damnation good idea," said Luna.

So Celestia and luna Lit Up and went to the castle. When they get there all the guards had been turn evil by Tireks magic, so they didnt let in any in truders.

"Halt your fuck!" said the guard at the guate. "This is Private Property, and you ar transporting on private property!"

"Let us in Private," said Celestea. "We ned to help Detective jakkid166 and whoever else!"

"No way jose," said Private Property. "I sign a contract to keep out everyone so IF i let you in then Tirek has legal ground to sue me."

"What if we knock you out and sneak in?" said Celestia.

"Yeah that works"

so Selestia grabbed a brick and bashed him in the skull withit 17 times and he said "ow" and fall unsconscious.

"Good thing he was wearing a helmet" said Luna and they went inside.

"Jesus christ," said Celestia when they go inside. Tirek had already remodel the castle, so the walls said "Tirek is king" and they had posters on them that were picturs of Tirek with a crown drawn on his head in crayons because Tirek couldnt find the real crown.

"Oh right I forget to give jakkid my crown," said Celestea. "My crown is the source of my power. Most of it"

"Man if we gave jakkid our crowns he couldve solve this himself!" said Luna.

so the two of them went down to the dungeons and looked in the cell. Tirek had imprisond every single good pony in Equestria, so now every single pony in Equestira was evil. They walk down the halls but they wa STOPPED!

"WHO GOTH THERE?" said Luna.

And Celestea and Luna saw who it was because they have eyes and it was COZY GLOW.

"Hahaea," said Cozy Glow "You will not free the jakkid! I will stop you"

"Oh yeah? How you gonna do that buster?" said Luna.

"Watch" said Cozy Glow and she tok out a key and went and opened my and Twilight's cell to let us out. "See, if I let them out now you cant break them out!"

"FUCK!" said Celestia "Shes right!"

so they went over to the cell where me and Twilight were and saw I was still tryin to get my gun off the wall.

"Hey Celestia abot damn time you get here," said me. "Do you have any Power Tools?"

"Oh no we left them in Pony Miami!" said Celestia. "How will jakkid free his gun?"

"Goddammit!" I said and I sigh. "Fine you will have to go beat the vilains. Its okay because I told you to do it so I stil get credit. Princess Detective jakkid166 is a loose cannon."

"Alright!" said Celestia "Dont worry Twilight and jakkid we wil find a way to free you!"

"Oh yeah I'm here too," said Twilight.

~ NEANWHILE ~

"HAHAHA" said Tirek as he was making his micorwave bowl of Evil Popcorn. "It is good to be king!" He took his popcorn bowl over to the throne to watch The Matrix 3 with his second in comand, Discord. (since hes a bad guy he likes bad movies.)

"Hell yeah," said Discord "Now we can watch alll the movies we want and not git arrested for piracy!"

But then CELESTIA and LUNA burst through and said "Tirek you dong fuck! What ar you doing?"

"NOOO NOT YOU TWO!" said Tirek. "We was just about to watch Matrix 3 and yo broke the TV!"

"Good!" siad Celestia. "Watching the Matrix 3 is illegal in Equestria. 2 is fine though"

"Yeah well what you gonne do about it?" said Tirek "I have yor crown!"

"What? No you dont" said Celestia.

"Yes I do," said Tirek and he had the crown.

"SHIT" said celesita "What we gonna do now Luna?"

"Hell if I know" said Luna.

"Haha," said Tirek and he CHARGE his BLAST of ASS

"oh no" said Celestia and Luna and they hold up a plate to sheeld themselves. But TIREK FIRED HIS BLAST

and it didnt do anything.

"WHAT?" said Tirek and he lookat the crown. "Wait this is made of play-doh!"

"Yeah we trickd you," said Celestia "My real crown is still on me head."

"Fuck," said Tirek. "Well we can still FIGHT and I will win!"

"Yes," said Celestia and they prepare to FIGHT.

BUT THEN and suddenly I BURST THROUGH THE ROOM WEARING my OWN crown made of GUN!

"What the hell?' said Celestia "How did you free yo self?"

"Well I wanted to use you crown to get magic, but then I realize I have something more powerful: the power of GUN! So I made my gun into crown and use the power from the crown to free my gun crown from the chains and come here!"

"FUCK" said Tirek "I cant you leive me?!"

and I shot hand cuffs out of my gun crown and they went on tireks arms and he got arested.

"Wait a minute!" said Discord "I am here too and im gonna fight you!"

"Fuck off Discord youre not suposed to be evil anymore," said Luna.

"Oh right I forgot about that" said Discord and he left.

"Sweet," I said "We resolve the problem of princess! And now that youre back from Vaction (like the vacation movies) you can go back to being the granduous princess of Equestria."

"That was close," said The24thPegasus

"Wait," said Celestia "You still hav to pay for the damages to Canterlot you caused!"

"Nope remember? That contract you sign make me not liable. Detective jakkid166 always thinks ahead."

"Shit hes right," said Luna.

"Alright Twilight lets go do other stuff," I said to Twilight who was also there.

"Sweet" said Twilight and we went to go do not-princess-detective stuff while canterlot was in flames.

"dammit" said Celesita "The only way this cold be worse now is if I got asassinated."

THE END