A Diamond's Curiosity

by SuperPinkBrony12

Rating: everyone
Tags: Diamond Tiara, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other
Length: 4209

As part of a school assignment, Diamond Tiara decides to find out what Randolph's life was like before he became a butler. As it turns out, his life was anything but dull. And the old stallion will gladly share his story with Diamond Tiara.

(Proofread and edited by deadpansnarker.)

Diamond Tiara has been given a school assignment, a simple one at that. She has to pick one pony to do a paper on, detailing what it is about that pony that inspires her.

However, the filly has done so many papers and assignments on her father already, and asking her mother is out of the question. So on a whim, she decides to ask her favorite butler, Randolph (to whom she has grown most attached).

Randolph obviously wasn't always a butler, but just what did he do before he ended up in the employment of the Riches? Tiara is about to find out a not so deep secret about the old stallion, one that will change the way she thinks of him. And it all has to do with a detail she wrote off so long ago.

Published 2019-06-01 04:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-06-01 04:10:01 UTC

Randolph's Past

Perhaps the only downside to living in a huge mansion and having parents who were very rich, was the fact that nopony was around to greet Diamond Tiara when she came home from school. The filly had long gotten used to it, rich ponies were never expected to complain about such trivial things. Spoiled in particular had taught her daughter never to show weakness to anyone, no matter who they might be. Small wonder the therapy sessions Filthy had arranged to get mother and daughter to reconcile weren't going anywhere fast (especially when Spoiled regarded them as a waste of bits).

Oh well.

With a faint sigh, Diamond carefully slid her saddle bags off her shoulders and set them down. She could've easily called for the nearest butler or maid to come and pick them up, but ever since turning over a new leaf the filly had been trying to show more compassion and kindness to the hired help. It was the least she could do considering how poorly they were paid (she had a sneaking suspicion her mother had a large role in that).

So Tiara picked up the bags again, relieved that they weren't very heavy. She carried them up to her room, listening to the contents within as they bounced around. She'd normally opt to have a little snack before getting into her school work, but today was going to be a little different. The only assignment the filly with a dazzling magenta coat had to carry out was a paper. Not just any paper though, it had to be about a pony who inspired you. A pony you looked up to.

"Miss. Cheerilee said I need to pick somepony else because I keep doing all my reports on my dad," Diamond thought to herself as she entered her bedroom, setting her saddlebags down on her princess-sized bed and allowing herself a moment of rest. "Can I help it if he's so amazing, even if he seems to love work even more than he does me. Besides, Scootaloo does reports on Rainbow Dash all the time, and I never hear Miss. Cheerilee complain." Of course, it probably helped that Rainbow Dash was a Wonderbolt in addition to being part of the weather team. And supposedly, Scootaloo had mentioned doing a report on her aunts once, not that Diamond had taken much notice.

There was a bit of a dilemma for Tiara, however. Unlike Scootaloo (or Apple Bloom, or even Sweetie Belle for that matter) she didn't have any immediate family members or close relatives that she could draw upon. Well, that wasn't quite true. There was her mother. But ever since that fateful day when Diamond had stood up to her, Spoiled Rich had almost never acknowledged her daughter's presence. She seemed mostly content to just stay out of Diamond's way, and Diamond for her part took special care not to cross her mom's path if she could help it. Even if that wasn't a problem, the idea of Spoiled agreeing to be the subject of any kind of paper or class project was laughable at best. She'd insist that she had far better things to do with her time, and if she was in a good mood she would leave it at that.

So the headgear-wearing filly lay on her bed for a while, thinking about who she could do her report on. Who besides her father did she look up to? Who else inspired her to be the better pony she was now? Well, there were her new friends, the Cutie Mark Crusaders. And her friend since foalhood, Silver Spoon. But those weren't exactly the kind of ponies you could look up to and the filly doubted that's what Cheerilee had in mind. Come to think of it, maybe Diamond could do her paper on the teacher?

Tiara shook her head. Whilst she enjoyed being in school now and participating fully in class, she couldn't exactly say she was inspired by Cheerilee. Much as she admired the teacher for putting up with her intolerable behavior as a bully in the past, and tolerating similar behavior from Spoiled, Tiara didn't feel like that was a good subject for a paper. Especially one that she was hoping to get a decent grade on since she hadn't done too well on her last math test.

The filly lay there for several minutes, deep in thought, while her cornflower blue eyes gazed longingly up at the ceiling. At last, an idea came to her. One that was she surprised she hadn't thought of before. "Of course! He's practically family to me, at least ever since I started acknowledging all he does for me!" She thought to herself as she leaped from the bed. Out of all the hired hooves, there was one to whom she felt an especially strong attachment to. One of the oldest (perhaps the oldest) helpers in the employment of the Rich family. The butler, Randolph.

It didn't take Diamond long to track down the old butler. He always seemed to be busy doing something, as per his job. So she found him in the kitchen, washing dishes from what had probably been a mid afternoon snack from Spoiled. The old butler was cheerfully humming a little ditty to himself as he scrubbed the plates clean, gently setting them aside to be dried later.

Tiara cleared her throat, attracting the stallion's attention. The light grayish-purple coated earth pony turned around, his light cobalt blue eyes soon locking onto his frequent young charge. "Oh, Mistress Diamond, greetings," He politely responded. "Do you need something from me? Perhaps you'd like me to prepare you an after school snack?"

Diamond shook her head. "No thank you, Randolph. I'm good," She paused for a moment, almost unsure if she should ask her question. She did anyway. "Could I maybe... talk to you for a bit? Ask you a few questions?"

"Whatever for, young mistress?" Randolph innocently inquired.

"Well, it's just... I'm supposed to do a paper for school and it can't be on Father," Tiara explained to Randolph. "And asking Mother is out of the question. I don't know what kind of mood she's in today, and I don't wanna find out."

The butler quickly clued into the filly's line of conversation and where it was going. "Hoping to do it on me, were we?" When his question was confirmed with a nod he simply smiled. "I don't see why not. Just give a moment to finish washing these dishes and then we can talk to your heart's content. I'll tell you anything you want to know, within reason of course. Some lines of conversation are not meant to be discussed with a filly your age."

"What does he think I am? Four?" Diamond wondered to herself. "I'm not like Mother, I don't gossip. At least, not since the whole 'Gabby Gums Incident'." Still, she accepted the butler's invitation and trotted to the dining room table where she got out a notebook and freshly sharpened pencil.

Randolph strolled over exactly a moment later, he was nothing if not punctual. Sitting down in the chair to the left of the filly, he asked her. "May I ask what the subject of the paper is and why you've decided to ask me?"

"I'm supposed to do a paper on a pony I look up to, a pony who inspires me," Tiara explained to the best of her ability. "After Father, you're the pony who I feel the strongest connection to. In a way, it's like you've been a parent to me. Sort of like an uncle. Heck, it seems like from birth you've been more of a parent to me than my actual parents, don't tell them I said that please."

Randolph made a zipping motion with his hooves as he moved them across his mouth. "Relax, Diamond, my lips are sealed," His smile grew wider as he added. "I must say, it truly warms my heart to know you think so highly of me. Truth be told, you're a very big part of why I stay here. Ever since you were born and Mistress Spoiled brought you home, I felt like I was more than just a butler. And that feeling only grew as I helped to take care of you and raise you, even though you were quite a hoofful."

Diamond blushed and sank down in her seat a bit. "I'm really sorry for all the things I made you do when I was such a brat. I never even said I was sorry for making you do all those fancy acrobatics. That must've taken quite a toll on your body."

But to the surprise of Tiara, Randolph threw back his head and laughed. He wiped a lone tear from his eye due to having laughed so hard. "Oh, Mistress Diamond, those acrobatics were child's play to me. Why, I used to be able to do far more advanced tricks than that. In the prime of my youth, I could outflip and outtwirl the best of them!"

Diamond's eyes widened and her mouth opened a bit! "What?! No way?! You used to be a professional acrobat?"

The butler firmly nodded. "Indeed I was. One of the finest in all of Equestria, or so they said. In fact, it was because of my acrobatic career that I met Master Filthy and came into his employment."

"Really? You never told me that before, and I know Dad never mentioned such a thing. I just assumed you were really talented." Tiara commented in amazement. The thought that maybe Randolph was just pulling her leg never crossed her mind. It seemed far too shocking to have been made up (besides, why Randolph lie to her when they were so close)?

"Didn't I? I could've sworn I told you before, once upon a time," Randolph pondered while putting a hoof to his chin. "After all, you know my cutie mark isn't really a feather duster. It's actually a pony doing gymnastics. I simply cover it up to please Mistress Spoiled."

Tiara replied to Randolph. "Well, assuming you did tell me, I must've forgotten. Do you suppose you could tell me again?"

Randolph affirmatively nodded again. "Certainly, Mistress Diamond. For you, anything. Who knows? Maybe it'll even help you with your paper. Now listen carefully."

As it turned out, when Randolph was much younger, he'd worked for a traveling circus. Though he was but one of many acts that would perform in every city and town, many ponies returned constantly just to see him.

His greenish grey mane and tail were far less curly and hung straight then. And no matter where he performed or where the circus traveled, it was impossible for him to escape the cheering crowds and devoted fans young and old alike.

One day, after a particularly exhilarating (but also exhausting) performance in Ponyville, Randolph was making his way back to his trailer for a well deserved rest. Suddenly, however, from the gathering crowd emerged a stallion not much younger than the performer himself. The stallion sported a grayish brown coat, light azure eyes, and a dark gray mane with a few lighter streaks that had a slight curl on the right side of his face. His cutie mark was three money bags.

Never one to turn away a fan, Randolph let the young stallion approach him. "Hello, young stallion," He politely greeted. "Are you here for an autograph? I'd be happy to sign a balloon for you."

The stallion shook his head. "I ain't lookin' for an autograph, Mr. Randolph, sir. I just wanted to tell you that you were absolutely amazin' out there!" He started gushing about the performance. "Ooh wee! The way you flipped through those five hoops and landed while balancin' on one hoof, that was sure somethin'! And you did it all without wings or magic! Oh, by the way, name's Filthy Rich. Oh but please, just call me Mr. Rich. Don't know why my ma'am and pappy gave me that name. I ain't a dirty or nasty pony."

Randolph shook Filthy's hoof. "Well, I'm glad that I was able to so entertain you Fi... er Mr. Rich. I must say, it's refreshing to have a pony who's truly fascinated by my performance, without also being obsessed with how famous I appear to be," A faint blush formed on his cheeks. "Frankly, it's a little embarrassing. But the smiling faces of everypony in the crowd when I pull off my stunts, makes it all worthwhile."

"Well, if you ever be needin' a break, why not visit my grand pappy's store?" Filthy offered. "Well actually, my pappy's mostly the one runnin' it these days, but my grand pappy still approves all business deals. Without his say so, nothin' gets sold at Barnyard Bargains. Right now, we only sell a couple of things besides groceries. But someday, I'm hopin' we can expand to sell everythin' anypony could ever need!"

"Sounds like quite the family legacy to be proud of," Randolph smiled at the young stallion. "I myself do not hail from quite such a distinguished background, unfortunately."

Filthy blinked in surprise. "Oh, you don't? I kind of figured circus performers' talents tended to run in the family."

At that, Randolph shook his head. "My parents were into more low key interests. They manage a small antique store that's been family run for generations. I myself preferred a more adventurous lifestyle, and such is why I went out and became an acrobat."

"The finest in all the land they say," Filthy boasted. "You ever think about goin' beyond this here travelin' circus? You could make it big for yourself, really make a splash!"

But Randolph insisted. "Fame is not as important to me as making others happy. Besides, this circus and its other performers have become like a second family to me. I could never dream of leaving them behind, even if I had thoughts of taking my talents to the big leagues."

Filthy smiled as he looked into Randolph's eyes. "I knew there was somethin' I liked about you. In a way, you kind of remind me of somepony very special I've got my eye on," He gestured a hoof to a pale, grayish pink coated earth pony mare a ways away. She had strong opal eyes, a mane and tail that was two shades of dark purplish-pink (the mane tied into a partial ponytail with a golden mane band), and a cutie mark that appeared to depict a diamond ring. "Her name's Spoiled Milk. She's the milk maid on her parents' dairy farm, but I can tell she wants a change. To enjoy the finer things in life. And someday soon, I'm hopin' to work up the courage to propose to her and make her my wife."

The acrobat simply smiled as he noticed the way Filthy gazed at Spoiled. He'd seen this sort of thing before, young love was always so sweet. "Well, I wish you luck in your pursuit. If you want my advice, you shouldn't worry too much about trying to impress her. Give her time to get to know the real you, and let that be what sweeps her off her hooves," He encouraged. "Or you could always take her out to dinner at a nice restaurant. I hear mares really like that."

"What a great idea!" Filthy happily commented. "And I know just the place to go! It just opened last week, and they say it's the finest eatin' establishment in all of Ponyville! I'll make reservations right away, that'll impress Spoiled!" He dashed away, though not before calling to Randolph. "Thanks for the good advice, I won't forget it! Hope I'll see you again soon!"

"Funny, that's not the way Mother recalls Father proposing to her," Tiara remarked as she paused during her writing. "Then again, Mother's never been the most 'reliable' pony when it comes to information. When I asked her about her cutie mark, she insisted it was because she was born into a family of jewelers. Only later did I find out that wasn't true, she worked for one when she didn't have enough money to buy herself a new blanket."

Randolph just laughed. "Ah, so that's how Mistress Spoiled always puts it. I was wondering why your friends never considered asking her about her cutie mark," After regaining his composure, he added. "In any case, I was no partner to Master Filthy's proposal. I wanted to attend his wedding, but alas I was out of town with my traveling circus that very day."

"But if you were such an amazing acrobat, why did you hang it up and come to work for Mother and Father?" Diamond briefly wondered, before she gasped! "Did something horrible happen to you?! Did you get injured?! Maybe that's why you always seem to be limping around. All this time, I thought it was just because you were old. I should've known it was something worse!"

Randolph threw up his hooves to calm his young charge down. "Mistress Diamond, it's nothing like that at all! No need to be so dramatic."

Diamond blushed. "Sorry, I guess Sweetie Belle's sister has started to rub off on me. I still owe her for the time she let me stay at her place after I... well... ran away from home. At least it got Mother to notice me, even if I ended up grounded for weeks."

The old butler tried not to giggle. "I remember that occasion well, especially since Mistress Spoiled took it out on me even though it wasn't my fault," Then he decided to change the subject. "But to answer your earlier question, nothing bad happened to me. I simply just grew old, and eventually I could no longer put myself out there for such a long period of time. These ancient bones could only take so much punishment."

"Is that when you came to work here at the mansion, and became a butler?" Tiara wondered as she resumed her writing.

"Indeed it is," Randolph nodded. "I can still remember the occasion quite well."

A much older Randolph (but still slightly younger than he was now) had just taken his final bows at the circus. Tonight had been his last performance. Everyone had come out to wish him well on his retirement, and the ringmaster to whom he owed so much had even given him a card signed by everypony which read. "The circus won't be the same without you, Randolph. We'll miss you from the bottom of our hearts."

It pained the aged stallion to have to retire. But he knew that he was nowhere near as energetic or nimble as he used to be. He had tried to ease his way into other lines of circus work, but he could never go beyond juggling balls and found it impossible to contort his body into the little clown cars (plus the make up made his face itch). A high wire act was also certainly out of the question given his fear of heights, and he could forget about being a pony cannonball. A young pony doing it was dangerous enough, with his advanced age now nopony wanted to chance it if something went wrong. Especially with the way insurance companies were.

"Oh well, I had a good run while it lasted. And I managed to save enough for retirement to somewhere decent." Randolph thought to himself as he left the tent for the last time. Already, he had trained his successor, taught him all the ins and outs of being an acrobat. And he was confident that the young pony that would take his place starting tomorrow would do just as good a job as he had.

However, it was at that very moment that fate intervened. Randolph hadn't been watching where he was going and he bumped straight into somepony.

Somepony who quickly revealed himself to be an instantly recognizable light grayish brown coated earth pony stallion. None other than Filthy Rich himself. "Randolph!" He exclaimed, now sporting a dark blue shirt collar with a red bow tie. "I heard all about your retirement in The Ponyville Express! I knew I had to come and see ya one last time!"

"Well, Fi... er Mr. Rich, I'm afraid the show is over," Randolph commented as he let out a depressed sigh. "Nothing left for me to do except pack my bags and retire to the local old ponies home."

But Filthy stood firm, blocking Randolph's way out. "You ain't old enough for retirement yet, Randolph! I won't allow it! I owe ya a great deal for your advice in impressin' Spoiled! And now I've finally come up with a way to repay you."

"Whatever do you mean, sir?" Randolph asked.

Filthy adjusted his tie as he proudly declared. "Simply, really. I've come to offer you the position of head butler at the Rich family mansion! I won't be takin' no for an answer."

The ex-acrobat blinked and rubbed his eyes. "Me? A butler? But sir, I hardly look the part. In fact, I don't know the first thing about housekeeping. Sure, I cook my own meals and clean my own room. But working for you at a huge mansion, alongside your wife? It's all so much. How would I ever manage?"

"Oh, don't you worry, there's plenty of other hired hooves around to help you share the burden," Filthy explained. "I'll start you off easy, and you can learn as you go. Please, Randolph, it'd mean a lot to me. You'd make the house a lot livelier. Between you and me, Spoiled is... shall we say 'high maintenance'. Guess it's true what they say, you can't help who you fall in love with."

For several minutes, Randolph was silent and said nothing. It was going to be a big undertaking to step into a completely new line of employment after all these years. To say nothing of the fact that he was probably going to be the oldest pony working at the mansion. But on the other hoof, Filthy would probably pay very well. And with the added money he could probably save up enough to retire to Silver Stable later, the absolute best retirement community in all of Equestria.

"Very well, Fi... er Mr. Rich, I shall serve you faithfully for as long as I can." Randolph agreed.

"Excellent!" Filthy beamed. "I promise you, Randolph, you won't regret this!"

"And even to this day, I don't," Randolph told Diamond Tiara. "It wasn't easy at first to adjust to such a huge change. But I managed. And by the time you came into the picture, I could never picture myself ever leaving, no matter how many times my paycheck got docked or how many times Mistress Spoiled yelled at me. In a way, you allowed me to experience something I sadly never had time for."

"You mean, you never had a family before?" Tiara asked the old butler. "Not even just for a little while?"

Randolph shook his head. "No, I could never find the time to settle down. But ever since you were a little foal, I felt an attachment to you as if you were my very own daughter," He longingly smiled as he recalled. "You could certainly make it hard to love you at times, especially when Mistress Spoiled unloaded me onto you whenever she didn't want to handle certain messy aspects of parenthood. But I did my best to raise you, and it warms my heart that you've now grown so attached to me."

Diamond nodded as she finished writing. "Yeah, I feel the same way. Especially nowadays, it seems like you're there for me more than my actual parents," And she then got up from her chair and gave him a loving hug. "I know this probably doesn't begin to fully make up for how much you had to endure when I was as bad as Mother, but I hope this is a good down payment. Do you think you'd be up for attending Family Appreciation Day the next time it's my turn to bring in somepony? Or maybe we could do the Sisterhooves Social together? They let Big Macintosh and Apple Bloom compete, despite them not being sisters. So I'm sure they'll look the other way for us considering their loose policy on what counts as a 'sister'. It'd be nice to do something special with you, even just once."

The old butler firmly nodded. "Well, I make no promises, Mistress Diamond. But I'll see what I can do. For now though, I believe you have a paper to write."

"That can wait," Tiara declared as she put her notes and her notebook away. "For now, I think I'll make you a snack. You deserve it."

Author's Note

Hey, if the show's not gonna do anything with Diamond Tiara, I will. Lots of people are speculating that Diamond's actual parents don't seem to be involved in her life all that much.

Kind of interesting that a throwaway character from one episode could get so much attention.