Candy Applesauceby RealBarenziahChaptersChapter 1Chapter 2Chapter 3Chapter 1The smoggy Manehatten skyline was illuminated with the lights of the buildings and lamp posts. The multitude of streets were organized very symmetrically. Far more symmetrical than Ponyville or Appeloosa. Even Canterlot streets weren't nearly as industrial and lifeless. Some streets glowed brilliantly with electric light from the bulbs of theater buildings and restaurants while many more were dim with shadow and grime and the long years of ponies living in neglect. On one of these dimmer, less glamorous streets stood a orange pony. One could easily tell her profession was an illicit one. She was covered sparsely with a trench coat that was only long enough to just cover her flank. Her makeup was cheap and gaudy and smudged but what really gave her away was not only that tendrils of her blonde mane poked out from beneath her short black wig but also the obviously scanty fishnet stockings. If one looked closely he could make out the bright freckles she had tried so hard to hide with layers of cheap blush. If one listened carefully he could hear the subtle twang of a country farmer that she had tried so hard to fake out of her voice. If one asked for her name, she'd tell him Candy Applesauce. If one asked what her rate was, she'd tell him 80 bits an hour. If it was an escort or call-in job, she - or rather, her boss - would charge the client upwards of 100 bits. No one ever did, but if somepony inquired further, asking her for her real name, and they were really persistent about it, she'd tell them her name was Applejack. Was. Clover Avenue was a common street for Candy and her sisters. The next street over was occupied by a different group, and they didn't like competition. Clover got plenty of traffic though. Usually. Sometimes Candy would have to venture a bit further to find some interested clients. She didn't feel too much like wandering that particular night, though. Business was slow but the night was young and as she lit a cigarette in hopes of attracting a client Candy looked up at the sky. She could see no stars, only the glow of the city and passing clouds. She thought for a moment about the sun and what it looked like these days. It had been ages since she had been awake during the daytime. The image of a familiar orchard appeared in her mind. The rolling hills, the strong trees, the glistening red apples on every branch, three familiar ponies working under a bright yellow sun. Then she remembered a pair of tall yellow twins and unintentionally bit her cigarette in half. Candy spit out the raw, ashy, nicotine scrap and shook her head. She knew dwelling would do nothing to help her. To pass the time she began to pace the length of the street, making offers to mares and stallions passing by. No takers. It was looking like she was going home short on her quota for the night. On her seventh pass down the street, she noticed a mare walking the opposite direction. But instead of trying to get her business, Candy cast her eyes downward to avoid the pony's azure eyes. She didn't want to be seen. Not by her. Never by her. As they passed, Candy could smell a soft perfume coming off the alabaster form and she couldn't help but glance up at the triple diamond cutie mark on her flank. Candy was ready to sigh in relief when the mare was a few strides behind her, but instead she was forced to stop when the hoofsteps behind her ceased and she heard the mare say, "Excuse me, dear." Candy let her eyelids droop suggestively and her mouth crack into a smile as she turned and answered in her best escort voice, "What'll it be, sugar? You wanna part-y?" "No, sorry I just... I've seen so many pretty young mares out here like you and I just don't understand it." "If you're na-ot interest-ed butter-cakes I have other clients I need to get to-" "Wait, please. I just...This profession doesn't suit anypony, especially such a pretty thing as you. Why do you do this to yourself?" "Tha-ere 'aint no rest for the wicked, sugar. A girl's got to eat 'an sum-sometimes...." Clients never had her talk this long. Candy had never realized how hard it was to get rid of that darn country bumpkin accent. "What's your name?" "Candy Applesauce." "Is it? Is it really?" "It's whutever you wa'ant sweetheart." Candy had gotten used to plastering that calm, cool, sensual expression on her face, but it was so hard to stay in character around that mare. "Well. Candy. I hope you find what you're looking for." For a moment Candy didn't have anything to say back. Finally she said, "Bring your bits next time, sugar cheeks." "Good night, Candy." "Good night." Neither pony moved. They simply stared at each other. The white mare peered closer and closer at Candy's orange face as the moments ticked by. Finally, Candy tore herself away and began to walk away. "I can't believe you!" Candy whipped around in surprise only to have her wig snatched off by the mare. "You didn't think I'd recognize my own friend?!" Candy was suddenly wrapped up in the mare's porcelain grasp. "Applejack," she said quietly. Applejack immediately threw her own hug around the pony. "Rarity." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHzJzcgx5WA Chapter 2"It's been so long, Applejack!" Rarity sat with her friend next to an old brick building, two steaming Styrofoam cups of coffee before them. "How long...Two years. I haven't seen you in two years. Not since..." Applejack only gave her a tired, hopeless look. "What happened, Applejack?" Applejack stared down into her coffee. "Heh. 'Applejack'. 'Ah haven't been called that in a' long while." She took a gulp of her drink and Rarity patiently waited. Putting down the cup she said, "Flim and Flam came to Ponyville to try and sell us a machine to make cider faster. But we Apple's are a stubborn folk and we have traditions. "We didn't take it. You know all this, Rarity - we had a competition, and the Apple family lost. Everypony was buying Flim Flam Cider because it tasted better and they plenty to go around. The money we make off our cider in the fall is how we get through winter, and we knew we wouldn't be able to keep the farm." "Then," Rarity said. "Sweet Apple Acres became Flim Flam Fields, and the Apple family disappeared. Why did you leave Ponyville? Somepony could have given you work. You could have gotten a job at Sugarcube Corner making cakes with Pinkie, I would have been more than happy to employ Applebloom as an assistant or-" "Rarity. It wasn't that simple. It never was." "What do you mean?" Applejack sighed. "The Apple family was never too keen on makin' extra money. We're jus' naturals at growin' and we loved doin' it. We were fair in our pricin' and we only ever made enough to support ourselves. Flim and Flam; all they care about is makin' bits. They didn't care about our livelihood. When they drove us out of business, we didn't just lose our farm. We lost everythin' "We had nothin'. No money. No home. No work. We tried, Rarity. We honestly tried to find work, but takin' my farm wasn't enough for those brothers. Every time we thought we found some work they'd snatch it away from us, one way or another. It didn't take too long to figure out that Flim and Flam didn't want us in Ponyville. We got worried that if we asked yall fer help Flim and Flam would have come after you, too. "So we left. We took odd jobs wherever we could find 'em." "Why didn't you ask for help? Surely your family could have assisted you." Applejack shook her head. "By the time we saved up enough money to get to one of their farms...." "What is it, Applejack? What happened?" "We went to Appleoosa first. When we got there, we didn't find an Apple family establishment. Flim and Flam had somehow gotten a hold of the orchards there. They had stopped sharin' with the Buffalo tribe and things got nasty. We got out of there as soon as we could, but I reckon' Appleoosa is shapin' up to look more like this place now, and the Buffalo are probably in a real bad place." "My goodness! That's awful!" "It gets worse. In Unicorn Range my great uncle started a vineyard, but by the time we got there it had burned down." "Burned?!" Rarity exclaimed. "That's right. Natural fires just don't happen in that area, and it wasn't long before I saw "Flim Flam Industries" painted on the sides of barns and billboards." "Those...those savages!" "Flim and Flam were expandin'. They weren't no traveling sales-ponies anymore. But none of that matters now. Luck just hasn't been with me these past two years. I don't really know how I fell into this position but I did. I'm just thankful that Granny passed on before she saw me like this." "Oh...Granny Smith...And...what about Applebloom and Big Macintosh? Sweetie Belle misses them terribly." "They've rented a place west of Filly Delphia. Mac got some work there and Applebloom helps. I send them money from here." "Do they know you're doing...this?" "I think Mac knows. He's always been able to see right through me. I never thought I'd end up...." She trailed off. Rarity put a comforting hoof on her shoulder. "I just want to get Applebloom into school again. That much at least." "Perhaps I could-" "Don't you offer me your money, Rarity. Ah don' wanna burden anypony with this." "I wish I had money to give you, Applejack. Enough to pay for Applebloom's education. But things have...things have changed since you left." Applejack looked Rarity dead in the eyes, worry rising in her chest. "What? What's happened?" Rarity shook her head. "Flim and Flam. Before their lust for wealth caused them to overtake all of Equestria, it overtook Ponyville first. Sugarcube corner was first to go. They started with cider but then starting selling other apple products. Desserts, mainly. They bought up some stores and sold more desserts for cheaper. I think they massed produced using similar machines as that Super Squeezy contraption. "The Cakes had to sell Sugarcube corner and Pinkie was out of a job and a home. She left to work on her parents' rock farm. Rainbow Dash is always too busy cleaning the smog out of the air from the Flim Flam Factories to even leave Cloudsdale anymore. Fluttershy doesn't leave her cottage much anymore because all the industrialization as attracted some odd characters to Ponyville and the streets aren't as safe as they were. And Twilight...Frankly I don't know what's going on with her. I never see her anymore, or Spike. I'm hoping they were called back to Canterlot on business." "And you?" "Oh well...I'm not an expert on economics but ever since Flim Flam Industries starting selling cheap designer clothing my business has....faltered. I've had to...cut back quite a bit on some things. I came to Manehatten in hopes of selling a design or two to one of the stores here." "All this time I thought yall were doin' jus' fine..." "I had hoped," Rarity rested her hoof on Applejack's arm. "I thought you had found someplace new and was living it up. Maybe running a new farm." She laughed halfheartedly. "What have those stupid Flim Flam brothers done to us all!?" "I don't know. What boggles my mind is how they were able to win that silly contest in the first place. How could the ponies of Ponyville prefer their cider to yours?" "It was just better, Rarity." "No! No, how could it have been? I know from experience that hoofmade things made with care, whether they be dresses or apple cider, are always better than that made by machine." "Rarity. It doesn't matter." Applejack glanced at the watch buckled above her hoof. "I have to get going. If I go back home empty hoofed, you don't wanna know what will happen." Applejack replaced her wig over her messily cropped mane and stood. "Wait. Let me pay your quota so you can go home." "Rarity, I..." Applejack couldn't help but love the idea of an easy, client-free night. "Please," Rarity pleaded. "I can't stand seeing you like this. At least let me give you this. How much?" "Well... 180 bits oughta please Vladimir." "Is that your....uh..." Applejack raised an eyebrow. "My pimp?" Rarity made an uncomfortable affirmative noise. "Yeah you could say that I suppose." Rarity dug into her pack and drew out a sum of money. "I'll give you 200 bits." "Rarity that's-" "Ah, Ah, Ah," Rarity said as the money was magically tucked into a bag that was partially hidden beneath Applejack's coat. Applejack smiled genuinely for what felt like the first time in years. "Thanks, Rarity." Rarity pulled out one of her business cards and jotted something down on the back. "This is where I'll be staying for the rest of the week. Please," she tucked the card into Applejack's pocket. "Come by and see me sometimes." "I will," She gave her friend a warm hug. "Thank you. I'm happy I got to see you again." "And I you. Don't try and avoid me next time though." Rarity made her way down the street. She turned and called, "Maybe you should look into tail wigs too! It looks weird when you wear a black wig and your tail is still blonde!" "My clients don't seem to care, Rarity!" Applejack watched her friend's retreating shape until she was out of sight. Then she turned and and headed in the direction of her home only to be stopped by a greasy and drunk looking colt. "Heyyyy wut's ur price darling~" Making no effort to suppress her accent she simply said "I'm a transvestite with herpes!" The colt gave her a weird look and quickly sauntered away. Smiling, Applejack trotted home. Chapter 3"Candy, back so early?" "I met my quota for tonight, Daiquiri," Applejack replied to an older, minty-maned mare as she entered the house. "I'm bringin' it up to Vlad now so I can go to sleep early." "It's probably best you don't bother him at this particular moment, cherry." "Why not?" "He's taking a call from a client." "He's taking the call?" Applejack asked in surprise. Vlad had ponies to watch the phones for him. Why would he be talking to clients? Before Daiquiri could answer Vladamir's ashy, overly-cologned head appeared from the balcony above. "Candy! You're back early! Good. I need you to go uptown and take care of a client for me." "Oh," Applejack's good mood evaporated. Looks like she'd be working after all. "Okay." "This is a very important client, Candy. Spruce yourself up and ditch the wigs tonight. If this goes well, it could mean big things for Escorts by Vladamir!" Applejack resisted the urge to roll her eyes at her company's name. "Do me proud, and you won't regret it!" "When have I ever disappointed you sir? Before I go, I was hoping I could get my cut of my earnings early tonight-" "Yes, Yes, fine! Leave it and collect your pay when you get back. Now get going!" Applejack held her sigh of exasperation for when she was in the shower. "Lady Luck must really have it out for me," she said to herself. "For once I thought I'd have a good night. Now this." She sighed again. "No use in fightin' it. Just...just get through tonight, Applejack." She stepped out of the shower, toweled herself dry, and put on a small, simple black dress. She trotted to the door and and stuck her head out. "HEY VLAD!" She called. "DID HE HAVE ANY SPECIAL PREFERENCES?!" Applejack had learned that such things were important when it came to call-in jobs. "Not really!" came Vlad's voice in response. "'Blonde' was the only preference!" "OH 'KAY!" She stood before the mirror and tried to comb her hair into a more presentable shape. She had chopped off her long mane a while ago in order to fit under her wigs, but she was no stylist. The result was an uneven bedhead kind of look, but she learned that with the right amount of styling she could make it look like one of those newfangled, edgy manecuts. Her mouth crooked into a smile. "Rarity would be impressed with how good I've gotten at pretty-fyin'." Her smile quickly faded when she recalled the reason why she made herself up these days. She covered her lips in candy-apple red and applied some mascara. She decided to go a little more natural-looking for a change and didn't apply gaudy eyeshadow, instead choosing shimmery color that didn't clash too hard with her orange coat. She decided it was best not to waste anymore time and quickly snatched a small black purse that a lot of the girls used for jobs likes these. She made her way to the back door where she met a familiar stallion. "Hey Pitt. You drivin' tonight?" "Sure am, Candy. Ready to go?" "e'yup. You know the drill. Get me there, get me in, wait, and-" "And get you home without getting killed," he finished with a smile. "That's right," They exchanged a quick brohoof. "Let's go. We don't wanna keep the fella' waitin'. You got the address?" She climbed into the old carriage as Pitt put himself in the harness. "Yeah," he glanced back. "You want the canopy up?" "Na'. Let's just get this over with." Pitt pulled the carriage swiftly but smoothly, and in no time they were in the neighborhood that was mostly restaurants and hotels. Applejack kept thinking they would stop at one of the smaller hotels and became increasingly nervous as the buildings got taller and taller. Finally the carriage stopped before Manehatten Grand, one of the most elegant and expensive-looking hotels of the city. "Good things for Escorts by Vladamir" indeed. Applejack thought. She shifted into escort mode and hopped off the carriage. Clients are keen on discretion, naturally, and Candy Applesauce had fixed herself up nicely enough that nopony could really tell she was a call girl. She put on a flirty swagger and entered the hotel. She proceeded to the elevator and was stopped by a colt in a suit and sunglasses. "You from Vlad's?" he asked. "I certainly am, sugar," Applejack replied. "Name's Candy Applesauce. Are you my man?" "Not me," Applejack noticed his complete monotony. She should have known he was just a bouncer. "Follow me." She followed the colt into the elevator and watched as he slipped a key-card into a slot and hit the button for the highest floor. The presidential suite. This guy must be loaded. Applejack thought. Then she cursed inwardly. The rich guys are always the weirdos. She was not looking forward to this appointment at all. But then, she never looked forward to any of her appointments. After riding the elevator all the way up, which took much longer than Applejack suspected, there was finally a soft bing and the doors opened up to a round vestibule with maroon walls and an oak door with the words Presidential Suite painted in gold leaf on it. "Go on then," said the colt, taking a place by a fancy vase filled with some lavender-looking flowers. Applejack gave him a smile and opened the door. She fought the urge to gawk at the suite. Everywhere she looked there was glistening marble and crystal, gold leaf, vases, flowers, ornate patterns, and fancy decorations. She had been called to fancy rooms during her career, but none as fancy as this.. The entire wall opposite the door was a window, and it looked out onto a sea of glittering city lights. What she failed to notice right away was the pair of yellow ponies lounging one of each of the king-sized beds on opposite ends of the room. "Well, Well, Well," said one. "Look who's come to visit us," said the other. Applejack's call-girl persona completely dissolved. It was Flim and Flam. If you're wondering about Pitt's name, it's supposed to be Brad Pitt. Apparently one of his first jobs in Hollywood was driving strippers to jobs, collecting the money, and getting out without being killed. He talked about it in an interview. I haven't seen it, so I may be incorrect on some or all points. I just thought it'd be a fun Easter egg.
Chapter 1The smoggy Manehatten skyline was illuminated with the lights of the buildings and lamp posts. The multitude of streets were organized very symmetrically. Far more symmetrical than Ponyville or Appeloosa. Even Canterlot streets weren't nearly as industrial and lifeless. Some streets glowed brilliantly with electric light from the bulbs of theater buildings and restaurants while many more were dim with shadow and grime and the long years of ponies living in neglect. On one of these dimmer, less glamorous streets stood a orange pony. One could easily tell her profession was an illicit one. She was covered sparsely with a trench coat that was only long enough to just cover her flank. Her makeup was cheap and gaudy and smudged but what really gave her away was not only that tendrils of her blonde mane poked out from beneath her short black wig but also the obviously scanty fishnet stockings. If one looked closely he could make out the bright freckles she had tried so hard to hide with layers of cheap blush. If one listened carefully he could hear the subtle twang of a country farmer that she had tried so hard to fake out of her voice. If one asked for her name, she'd tell him Candy Applesauce. If one asked what her rate was, she'd tell him 80 bits an hour. If it was an escort or call-in job, she - or rather, her boss - would charge the client upwards of 100 bits. No one ever did, but if somepony inquired further, asking her for her real name, and they were really persistent about it, she'd tell them her name was Applejack. Was. Clover Avenue was a common street for Candy and her sisters. The next street over was occupied by a different group, and they didn't like competition. Clover got plenty of traffic though. Usually. Sometimes Candy would have to venture a bit further to find some interested clients. She didn't feel too much like wandering that particular night, though. Business was slow but the night was young and as she lit a cigarette in hopes of attracting a client Candy looked up at the sky. She could see no stars, only the glow of the city and passing clouds. She thought for a moment about the sun and what it looked like these days. It had been ages since she had been awake during the daytime. The image of a familiar orchard appeared in her mind. The rolling hills, the strong trees, the glistening red apples on every branch, three familiar ponies working under a bright yellow sun. Then she remembered a pair of tall yellow twins and unintentionally bit her cigarette in half. Candy spit out the raw, ashy, nicotine scrap and shook her head. She knew dwelling would do nothing to help her. To pass the time she began to pace the length of the street, making offers to mares and stallions passing by. No takers. It was looking like she was going home short on her quota for the night. On her seventh pass down the street, she noticed a mare walking the opposite direction. But instead of trying to get her business, Candy cast her eyes downward to avoid the pony's azure eyes. She didn't want to be seen. Not by her. Never by her. As they passed, Candy could smell a soft perfume coming off the alabaster form and she couldn't help but glance up at the triple diamond cutie mark on her flank. Candy was ready to sigh in relief when the mare was a few strides behind her, but instead she was forced to stop when the hoofsteps behind her ceased and she heard the mare say, "Excuse me, dear." Candy let her eyelids droop suggestively and her mouth crack into a smile as she turned and answered in her best escort voice, "What'll it be, sugar? You wanna part-y?" "No, sorry I just... I've seen so many pretty young mares out here like you and I just don't understand it." "If you're na-ot interest-ed butter-cakes I have other clients I need to get to-" "Wait, please. I just...This profession doesn't suit anypony, especially such a pretty thing as you. Why do you do this to yourself?" "Tha-ere 'aint no rest for the wicked, sugar. A girl's got to eat 'an sum-sometimes...." Clients never had her talk this long. Candy had never realized how hard it was to get rid of that darn country bumpkin accent. "What's your name?" "Candy Applesauce." "Is it? Is it really?" "It's whutever you wa'ant sweetheart." Candy had gotten used to plastering that calm, cool, sensual expression on her face, but it was so hard to stay in character around that mare. "Well. Candy. I hope you find what you're looking for." For a moment Candy didn't have anything to say back. Finally she said, "Bring your bits next time, sugar cheeks." "Good night, Candy." "Good night." Neither pony moved. They simply stared at each other. The white mare peered closer and closer at Candy's orange face as the moments ticked by. Finally, Candy tore herself away and began to walk away. "I can't believe you!" Candy whipped around in surprise only to have her wig snatched off by the mare. "You didn't think I'd recognize my own friend?!" Candy was suddenly wrapped up in the mare's porcelain grasp. "Applejack," she said quietly. Applejack immediately threw her own hug around the pony. "Rarity." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHzJzcgx5WA
Chapter 2"It's been so long, Applejack!" Rarity sat with her friend next to an old brick building, two steaming Styrofoam cups of coffee before them. "How long...Two years. I haven't seen you in two years. Not since..." Applejack only gave her a tired, hopeless look. "What happened, Applejack?" Applejack stared down into her coffee. "Heh. 'Applejack'. 'Ah haven't been called that in a' long while." She took a gulp of her drink and Rarity patiently waited. Putting down the cup she said, "Flim and Flam came to Ponyville to try and sell us a machine to make cider faster. But we Apple's are a stubborn folk and we have traditions. "We didn't take it. You know all this, Rarity - we had a competition, and the Apple family lost. Everypony was buying Flim Flam Cider because it tasted better and they plenty to go around. The money we make off our cider in the fall is how we get through winter, and we knew we wouldn't be able to keep the farm." "Then," Rarity said. "Sweet Apple Acres became Flim Flam Fields, and the Apple family disappeared. Why did you leave Ponyville? Somepony could have given you work. You could have gotten a job at Sugarcube Corner making cakes with Pinkie, I would have been more than happy to employ Applebloom as an assistant or-" "Rarity. It wasn't that simple. It never was." "What do you mean?" Applejack sighed. "The Apple family was never too keen on makin' extra money. We're jus' naturals at growin' and we loved doin' it. We were fair in our pricin' and we only ever made enough to support ourselves. Flim and Flam; all they care about is makin' bits. They didn't care about our livelihood. When they drove us out of business, we didn't just lose our farm. We lost everythin' "We had nothin'. No money. No home. No work. We tried, Rarity. We honestly tried to find work, but takin' my farm wasn't enough for those brothers. Every time we thought we found some work they'd snatch it away from us, one way or another. It didn't take too long to figure out that Flim and Flam didn't want us in Ponyville. We got worried that if we asked yall fer help Flim and Flam would have come after you, too. "So we left. We took odd jobs wherever we could find 'em." "Why didn't you ask for help? Surely your family could have assisted you." Applejack shook her head. "By the time we saved up enough money to get to one of their farms...." "What is it, Applejack? What happened?" "We went to Appleoosa first. When we got there, we didn't find an Apple family establishment. Flim and Flam had somehow gotten a hold of the orchards there. They had stopped sharin' with the Buffalo tribe and things got nasty. We got out of there as soon as we could, but I reckon' Appleoosa is shapin' up to look more like this place now, and the Buffalo are probably in a real bad place." "My goodness! That's awful!" "It gets worse. In Unicorn Range my great uncle started a vineyard, but by the time we got there it had burned down." "Burned?!" Rarity exclaimed. "That's right. Natural fires just don't happen in that area, and it wasn't long before I saw "Flim Flam Industries" painted on the sides of barns and billboards." "Those...those savages!" "Flim and Flam were expandin'. They weren't no traveling sales-ponies anymore. But none of that matters now. Luck just hasn't been with me these past two years. I don't really know how I fell into this position but I did. I'm just thankful that Granny passed on before she saw me like this." "Oh...Granny Smith...And...what about Applebloom and Big Macintosh? Sweetie Belle misses them terribly." "They've rented a place west of Filly Delphia. Mac got some work there and Applebloom helps. I send them money from here." "Do they know you're doing...this?" "I think Mac knows. He's always been able to see right through me. I never thought I'd end up...." She trailed off. Rarity put a comforting hoof on her shoulder. "I just want to get Applebloom into school again. That much at least." "Perhaps I could-" "Don't you offer me your money, Rarity. Ah don' wanna burden anypony with this." "I wish I had money to give you, Applejack. Enough to pay for Applebloom's education. But things have...things have changed since you left." Applejack looked Rarity dead in the eyes, worry rising in her chest. "What? What's happened?" Rarity shook her head. "Flim and Flam. Before their lust for wealth caused them to overtake all of Equestria, it overtook Ponyville first. Sugarcube corner was first to go. They started with cider but then starting selling other apple products. Desserts, mainly. They bought up some stores and sold more desserts for cheaper. I think they massed produced using similar machines as that Super Squeezy contraption. "The Cakes had to sell Sugarcube corner and Pinkie was out of a job and a home. She left to work on her parents' rock farm. Rainbow Dash is always too busy cleaning the smog out of the air from the Flim Flam Factories to even leave Cloudsdale anymore. Fluttershy doesn't leave her cottage much anymore because all the industrialization as attracted some odd characters to Ponyville and the streets aren't as safe as they were. And Twilight...Frankly I don't know what's going on with her. I never see her anymore, or Spike. I'm hoping they were called back to Canterlot on business." "And you?" "Oh well...I'm not an expert on economics but ever since Flim Flam Industries starting selling cheap designer clothing my business has....faltered. I've had to...cut back quite a bit on some things. I came to Manehatten in hopes of selling a design or two to one of the stores here." "All this time I thought yall were doin' jus' fine..." "I had hoped," Rarity rested her hoof on Applejack's arm. "I thought you had found someplace new and was living it up. Maybe running a new farm." She laughed halfheartedly. "What have those stupid Flim Flam brothers done to us all!?" "I don't know. What boggles my mind is how they were able to win that silly contest in the first place. How could the ponies of Ponyville prefer their cider to yours?" "It was just better, Rarity." "No! No, how could it have been? I know from experience that hoofmade things made with care, whether they be dresses or apple cider, are always better than that made by machine." "Rarity. It doesn't matter." Applejack glanced at the watch buckled above her hoof. "I have to get going. If I go back home empty hoofed, you don't wanna know what will happen." Applejack replaced her wig over her messily cropped mane and stood. "Wait. Let me pay your quota so you can go home." "Rarity, I..." Applejack couldn't help but love the idea of an easy, client-free night. "Please," Rarity pleaded. "I can't stand seeing you like this. At least let me give you this. How much?" "Well... 180 bits oughta please Vladimir." "Is that your....uh..." Applejack raised an eyebrow. "My pimp?" Rarity made an uncomfortable affirmative noise. "Yeah you could say that I suppose." Rarity dug into her pack and drew out a sum of money. "I'll give you 200 bits." "Rarity that's-" "Ah, Ah, Ah," Rarity said as the money was magically tucked into a bag that was partially hidden beneath Applejack's coat. Applejack smiled genuinely for what felt like the first time in years. "Thanks, Rarity." Rarity pulled out one of her business cards and jotted something down on the back. "This is where I'll be staying for the rest of the week. Please," she tucked the card into Applejack's pocket. "Come by and see me sometimes." "I will," She gave her friend a warm hug. "Thank you. I'm happy I got to see you again." "And I you. Don't try and avoid me next time though." Rarity made her way down the street. She turned and called, "Maybe you should look into tail wigs too! It looks weird when you wear a black wig and your tail is still blonde!" "My clients don't seem to care, Rarity!" Applejack watched her friend's retreating shape until she was out of sight. Then she turned and and headed in the direction of her home only to be stopped by a greasy and drunk looking colt. "Heyyyy wut's ur price darling~" Making no effort to suppress her accent she simply said "I'm a transvestite with herpes!" The colt gave her a weird look and quickly sauntered away. Smiling, Applejack trotted home.
Chapter 3"Candy, back so early?" "I met my quota for tonight, Daiquiri," Applejack replied to an older, minty-maned mare as she entered the house. "I'm bringin' it up to Vlad now so I can go to sleep early." "It's probably best you don't bother him at this particular moment, cherry." "Why not?" "He's taking a call from a client." "He's taking the call?" Applejack asked in surprise. Vlad had ponies to watch the phones for him. Why would he be talking to clients? Before Daiquiri could answer Vladamir's ashy, overly-cologned head appeared from the balcony above. "Candy! You're back early! Good. I need you to go uptown and take care of a client for me." "Oh," Applejack's good mood evaporated. Looks like she'd be working after all. "Okay." "This is a very important client, Candy. Spruce yourself up and ditch the wigs tonight. If this goes well, it could mean big things for Escorts by Vladamir!" Applejack resisted the urge to roll her eyes at her company's name. "Do me proud, and you won't regret it!" "When have I ever disappointed you sir? Before I go, I was hoping I could get my cut of my earnings early tonight-" "Yes, Yes, fine! Leave it and collect your pay when you get back. Now get going!" Applejack held her sigh of exasperation for when she was in the shower. "Lady Luck must really have it out for me," she said to herself. "For once I thought I'd have a good night. Now this." She sighed again. "No use in fightin' it. Just...just get through tonight, Applejack." She stepped out of the shower, toweled herself dry, and put on a small, simple black dress. She trotted to the door and and stuck her head out. "HEY VLAD!" She called. "DID HE HAVE ANY SPECIAL PREFERENCES?!" Applejack had learned that such things were important when it came to call-in jobs. "Not really!" came Vlad's voice in response. "'Blonde' was the only preference!" "OH 'KAY!" She stood before the mirror and tried to comb her hair into a more presentable shape. She had chopped off her long mane a while ago in order to fit under her wigs, but she was no stylist. The result was an uneven bedhead kind of look, but she learned that with the right amount of styling she could make it look like one of those newfangled, edgy manecuts. Her mouth crooked into a smile. "Rarity would be impressed with how good I've gotten at pretty-fyin'." Her smile quickly faded when she recalled the reason why she made herself up these days. She covered her lips in candy-apple red and applied some mascara. She decided to go a little more natural-looking for a change and didn't apply gaudy eyeshadow, instead choosing shimmery color that didn't clash too hard with her orange coat. She decided it was best not to waste anymore time and quickly snatched a small black purse that a lot of the girls used for jobs likes these. She made her way to the back door where she met a familiar stallion. "Hey Pitt. You drivin' tonight?" "Sure am, Candy. Ready to go?" "e'yup. You know the drill. Get me there, get me in, wait, and-" "And get you home without getting killed," he finished with a smile. "That's right," They exchanged a quick brohoof. "Let's go. We don't wanna keep the fella' waitin'. You got the address?" She climbed into the old carriage as Pitt put himself in the harness. "Yeah," he glanced back. "You want the canopy up?" "Na'. Let's just get this over with." Pitt pulled the carriage swiftly but smoothly, and in no time they were in the neighborhood that was mostly restaurants and hotels. Applejack kept thinking they would stop at one of the smaller hotels and became increasingly nervous as the buildings got taller and taller. Finally the carriage stopped before Manehatten Grand, one of the most elegant and expensive-looking hotels of the city. "Good things for Escorts by Vladamir" indeed. Applejack thought. She shifted into escort mode and hopped off the carriage. Clients are keen on discretion, naturally, and Candy Applesauce had fixed herself up nicely enough that nopony could really tell she was a call girl. She put on a flirty swagger and entered the hotel. She proceeded to the elevator and was stopped by a colt in a suit and sunglasses. "You from Vlad's?" he asked. "I certainly am, sugar," Applejack replied. "Name's Candy Applesauce. Are you my man?" "Not me," Applejack noticed his complete monotony. She should have known he was just a bouncer. "Follow me." She followed the colt into the elevator and watched as he slipped a key-card into a slot and hit the button for the highest floor. The presidential suite. This guy must be loaded. Applejack thought. Then she cursed inwardly. The rich guys are always the weirdos. She was not looking forward to this appointment at all. But then, she never looked forward to any of her appointments. After riding the elevator all the way up, which took much longer than Applejack suspected, there was finally a soft bing and the doors opened up to a round vestibule with maroon walls and an oak door with the words Presidential Suite painted in gold leaf on it. "Go on then," said the colt, taking a place by a fancy vase filled with some lavender-looking flowers. Applejack gave him a smile and opened the door. She fought the urge to gawk at the suite. Everywhere she looked there was glistening marble and crystal, gold leaf, vases, flowers, ornate patterns, and fancy decorations. She had been called to fancy rooms during her career, but none as fancy as this.. The entire wall opposite the door was a window, and it looked out onto a sea of glittering city lights. What she failed to notice right away was the pair of yellow ponies lounging one of each of the king-sized beds on opposite ends of the room. "Well, Well, Well," said one. "Look who's come to visit us," said the other. Applejack's call-girl persona completely dissolved. It was Flim and Flam. If you're wondering about Pitt's name, it's supposed to be Brad Pitt. Apparently one of his first jobs in Hollywood was driving strippers to jobs, collecting the money, and getting out without being killed. He talked about it in an interview. I haven't seen it, so I may be incorrect on some or all points. I just thought it'd be a fun Easter egg.
