Candy Applesauce

"Candy, back so early?"

"I met my quota for tonight, Daiquiri," Applejack replied to an older, minty-maned mare as she entered the house. "I'm bringin' it up to Vlad now so I can go to sleep early."

"It's probably best you don't bother him at this particular moment, cherry."

"Why not?"

"He's taking a call from a client."

"He's taking the call?" Applejack asked in surprise. Vlad had ponies to watch the phones for him. Why would he be talking to clients?

Before Daiquiri could answer Vladamir's ashy, overly-cologned head appeared from the balcony above.

"Candy! You're back early! Good. I need you to go uptown and take care of a client for me."

"Oh," Applejack's good mood evaporated. Looks like she'd be working after all. "Okay."

"This is a very important client, Candy. Spruce yourself up and ditch the wigs tonight. If this goes well, it could mean big things for Escorts by Vladamir!" Applejack resisted the urge to roll her eyes at her company's name. "Do me proud, and you won't regret it!"

"When have I ever disappointed you sir? Before I go, I was hoping I could get my cut of my earnings early tonight-"

"Yes, Yes, fine! Leave it and collect your pay when you get back. Now get going!"

Applejack held her sigh of exasperation for when she was in the shower.

"Lady Luck must really have it out for me," she said to herself. "For once I thought I'd have a good night. Now this." She sighed again. "No use in fightin' it. Just...just get through tonight, Applejack."

She stepped out of the shower, toweled herself dry, and put on a small, simple black dress. She trotted to the door and and stuck her head out.

"HEY VLAD!" She called. "DID HE HAVE ANY SPECIAL PREFERENCES?!" Applejack had learned that such things were important when it came to call-in jobs.

"Not really!" came Vlad's voice in response. "'Blonde' was the only preference!"

"OH 'KAY!"

She stood before the mirror and tried to comb her hair into a more presentable shape. She had chopped off her long mane a while ago in order to fit under her wigs, but she was no stylist. The result was an uneven bedhead kind of look, but she learned that with the right amount of styling she could make it look like one of those newfangled, edgy manecuts. Her mouth crooked into a smile.

"Rarity would be impressed with how good I've gotten at pretty-fyin'."

Her smile quickly faded when she recalled the reason why she made herself up these days. She covered her lips in candy-apple red and applied some mascara. She decided to go a little more natural-looking for a change and didn't apply gaudy eyeshadow, instead choosing shimmery color that didn't clash too hard with her orange coat.

She decided it was best not to waste anymore time and quickly snatched a small black purse that a lot of the girls used for jobs likes these. She made her way to the back door where she met a familiar stallion.

"Hey Pitt. You drivin' tonight?"

"Sure am, Candy. Ready to go?"

"e'yup. You know the drill. Get me there, get me in, wait, and-"

"And get you home without getting killed," he finished with a smile.

"That's right," They exchanged a quick brohoof. "Let's go. We don't wanna keep the fella' waitin'. You got the address?" She climbed into the old carriage as Pitt put himself in the harness.

"Yeah," he glanced back. "You want the canopy up?"

"Na'. Let's just get this over with."

Pitt pulled the carriage swiftly but smoothly, and in no time they were in the neighborhood that was mostly restaurants and hotels. Applejack kept thinking they would stop at one of the smaller hotels and became increasingly nervous as the buildings got taller and taller.

Finally the carriage stopped before Manehatten Grand, one of the most elegant and expensive-looking hotels of the city. "Good things for Escorts by Vladamir" indeed. Applejack thought. She shifted into escort mode and hopped off the carriage. Clients are keen on discretion, naturally, and Candy Applesauce had fixed herself up nicely enough that nopony could really tell she was a call girl.

She put on a flirty swagger and entered the hotel. She proceeded to the elevator and was stopped by a colt in a suit and sunglasses.

"You from Vlad's?" he asked.

"I certainly am, sugar," Applejack replied. "Name's Candy Applesauce. Are you my man?"

"Not me," Applejack noticed his complete monotony. She should have known he was just a bouncer. "Follow me."

She followed the colt into the elevator and watched as he slipped a key-card into a slot and hit the button for the highest floor. The presidential suite. This guy must be loaded. Applejack thought. Then she cursed inwardly. The rich guys are always the weirdos. She was not looking forward to this appointment at all. But then, she never looked forward to any of her appointments.

After riding the elevator all the way up, which took much longer than Applejack suspected, there was finally a soft bing and the doors opened up to a round vestibule with maroon walls and an oak door with the words Presidential Suite painted in gold leaf on it.

"Go on then," said the colt, taking a place by a fancy vase filled with some lavender-looking flowers. Applejack gave him a smile and opened the door.

She fought the urge to gawk at the suite. Everywhere she looked there was glistening marble and crystal, gold leaf, vases, flowers, ornate patterns, and fancy decorations. She had been called to fancy rooms during her career, but none as fancy as this.. The entire wall opposite the door was a window, and it looked out onto a sea of glittering city lights.

What she failed to notice right away was the pair of yellow ponies lounging one of each of the king-sized beds on opposite ends of the room.

"Well, Well, Well," said one.

"Look who's come to visit us," said the other.

Applejack's call-girl persona completely dissolved. It was Flim and Flam.

If you're wondering about Pitt's name, it's supposed to be Brad Pitt. Apparently one of his first jobs in Hollywood was driving strippers to jobs, collecting the money, and getting out without being killed. He talked about it in an interview. I haven't seen it, so I may be incorrect on some or all points. I just thought it'd be a fun Easter egg.