Sharp Eyed's Random fucking adventure

by Sharp Eyed

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Random, Dark, Alternate Universe
Length: 690

I made this up on the spot, don't hate me ;_;

Sharp Eyed is on a quest to save the holy cheese and banana waffle-cake from the clutches of lord Fimbletank. Will he be able to find the secret cave of bad grammar and fix the horrid sentences? Find out, on Sharp Eyed's random fucking adventure.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-09 14:31:03 UTC

Chapter 1: BEEP BOOP

This has no relationship what so ever to the series of Sharp Eyed's life, so don't think about what happened here when reading the other stories.

[WARNING: RATED W FOR WTF WAS THAT]

Sharp Eyed woke up one morning wearing his favourite shades [LIKE A BAWS]. He took his shades off, to reveal his blue eyes, glaring directly at his computer. He frowned, and ate his shades, causing them to re-materialise on his eyes.

"BEEP BOOP. I'm part fucking robot." He exclaimed awesomely, cause he's cool and stuff. He then exploded.

He then de-exploded in the middle of Ponyville, basically meaning an explosion happened in reverse as parts of his body randomly started moving towards a single spot and glue themselves together to create Sharp Eyed. Don't gimme any of that 'but that doesn't make sense' shit, this is another FUCKING universe, and it belongs to the writer, who is me. I can do whatever the fuck I want. Suddenly, a pie dropped from the sky, and landed in front of Sharp Eyed. He inspected the pie closely, then after 10 minutes of a staring contest (which Sharp Eyed won), He rammed his right arm into the pie, and pulled out a letter from the Princess. The Princess who is called Celestia has requested an audience with Sharp Eyed IMMEDIATELY. He instantly puts on his Space-Ninja helmet and Teleports to the Princess.

She turns around and explains how the Holy Cheese and Banana Waffle-Cake called George has strangely gone missing. Sharp Eyed noted the information given to him quietly but firmly. I said I can do what I want, get out of here with that attitude BITCH! Anyways, Sharp Eyed left Canterlot and tried his bestest to remember the first thing on the list. It was to go get Rainbow Dash to help him get to The Cave of Bad Grammar as fast as possible! He went to Rainbow Dash's cloud home thingy, and phased through the door, only to turn around and kick it down for dramatic effect.

"Who ar-" But before she could finish her sentence, Sharp Eyed had grabbed her by the neck.

"I have been sent on a mission from Prince Celestia herself! We must go to >>>The Cave of Bad Grammar<<< and remake the sentence to give us a clue as to where Lord Fimbletank has hidden the Holy Cheese and Banana Waffle-Cake, or Hcbwc for short. She said that I must go search throughout the lands and awesomely find the awesome Rainbow Dash who has a 99% chance of being secretly AWESOMER than she really is, and ask her awesomely to pull my carriage as I fight off the incoming mutant Pancake Birds that will attack us! You are the fastest flier in all of fucking Equestria, and can do fast Sonic Rainbooms really quickly because you're fast, and my handy work with my sniper rifle will allow me to shoot down the Pancake birds! Are you with me?!?" Sharp Eyed explains awesomely. Rainbow Dasher just looks at him, confused as shit!

"I... guess..." She eventually stammers, and about fucking time as well.

Sharp Eyed, then once again grabs her by the neck and fits her onto the bit of the carriage were the pegasi that pull it go. She starts to fly off in the direction Sharp eyed told her about. Celestia was right, and they head right into a migrational flock of Mutant Pancake Birds. He uses his sniper rifle, which has suddenly appeared considering it wasn't in the last scene where Rainboom Dash was taking off, but fuck it, and he shoots the Pancake birds with ease cause he's awesome and stuff. Spike, who has also randomly appeared just like the sniper rifle, asks Sharp Eyed why we are shooting these birds, as they seem to not be hurting us.

"Why should I know? Celestia told me to shoot them so I'm shooting them! Any objections girl?" Sharp Eyed replies brightly. Spike shakes his head then disappears from the carriage. And as he does, The Cave of Bad Grammar becomes visible behind the frozen Fire Mountains.