My Little Program

After that little interrogation that went on with those Jokerz I decided to clock out for the day. I had been living at the factory I took over, which I have made some modifications to. What originally has been office spaces and sever rooms I have changed into a variety of different rooms. While most were unimportant for the time being, a few were of immediate interest for me. This includes my workshop, a forensic science lab, and The Hub.

The Hub was created by gathering all of the computers here and fussing them all together to create a super computer, and is where I decided to base my true digital form most of the time. From running tests I have found that The Hub calculates at around 10 novemdecillion calculations per second, for those who aren't paying attention, that's about 60 zeros. Yeah, that's a really good asset. It even can run on a private server and has a hundred layer firewall. Though now is not really the time for exposition.

As I was walking down towards the lobby I heard someone call out to me. As I turned around I saw that pony that had shown up when I saved that mare from being raped. She had a much more jovial and happy tone than that incident. I stopped and watched her approach me, as I got a closer look at her, and I saw wings and a horn, so she's a princess.

"Hey. You're leaving too?"

"Yeah. Why do you ask?" She wants something, I can already tell. She shyly twiddled her fingers together, looking to the side a little.

"Well. Since you saved Starlight, I wanted to know if you'd like to come with us for a night on the town." Oh, well that wasn't what I expected, I really need to stop applying pure human logic to this.

"That sounds fun." Her face somehow lit up even more, as she stopped twiddling her fingers.

"Great! I'll meet you at The Drunken Pearl at 6 tonight. See you there!" She said as she ran off.

Why did that bar name sound like it came straight out of Family Guy?

It's a fuckin Family Guy bar. I can't believe it. It looks like The Drunken Clam except it has a pearl on the sign. I can't believe I agreed to this, not only am I socially inadept, but I just decided to get closer to one of the princesses, and one of the users of the fuck you laser!

Despite the stress and apparent stupidity of this idea, it has its benefits. I mean, where is a safer place from a group than inside that very group. Take Hydra for example, they survived and thrived for decades from within the confines of Shield. So by becoming close friends with that princess (who also seems to be their leader) will be very beneficial for me in the long run.

As I entered the bar I was greeted with a much different vibe than what was on the outside. Hung up across the walls were western style posters and landscapes, and quite a few rodeo pictures. The booths and tables also had carved in western artwork, which admittedly looked very nice. Now that I see this, I'm starting to question the naming.

It was very busy right now, with lots of groups of friends talking about their day and the like. I was then interrupted by a familiar bubbly voice. One that was almost drowned out by the other background noise.

"HEY! BENDER! OVER HERE!" I turned to see that princess (apparently named Twilight Sparkle) waving at me, surrounded by five other mares.

I quickly scanned the mares around her. It was the rest of the f u laser crew. Rainbow Dash was already out of it, flat out drunk. The earth pony Applejack was drunk as well, clearly not aware of anything else. There was Rarity sipping on some wine while having a conversation with Fluttershy, and finally Pinkie Pie was waving at me with a drunken blush, while holding a bottle of whiskey.

I walked over to the group and waved, I looked around a little bit, causing the other alicorn at the table to look at me with curiosity.

"Hey Twilight, where's Starlight?" I said as her expression changed to a more saddened one.

"Well, after what happened, she decided to go to a psychologist in Canterlot to get help." She said as I nodded, it seems like a good course of action. I sat down as Pinkie started throwing tons of questions my way. I ignored them and asked a passing waiter for some sake. As I waited I heard Twilight ask a question I didn't expect.

"Did you hear about the missing logs and shipments of dark matter?" She said as I flinched and tensed. What is dark matter you ask, uranium. She is talking about the uranium I ahem "Appropriated". I turned back to her to see a serious faced princess. I coughed into my hand and opened my mouth to speak.

Then my sake came. I immediately turned and poured the drink into the smaller cup. I drank from it, feeling a slight burn due to this bodies lack of experience. Then turned by to Twilight, who was still waiting for my answer.

"No, but I had heard rumors about something going missing. How much was it?" I just needed to play dumb and keep it cool, but not to dumb. I don't want to do that thing from Spider-verse.

"Over three tons." She replied, which instantly shut up the rest of the table, even Pinkie. The group started listening much more intently, except for Rainbow, who was still unconscious.

"Who would want that much dark matter? And why come to me with this? Shouldn't this be something to bring to the chief?"

"I have not idea who or what would want with that much uranium, and I did go to the chief, but it never went anywhere because he saw it as 'having to deal with less of the stuff.' In truth, you are the only one who would know something about where it could have gone."

"And why would I know anything?"

"Because you have shown to know much more about how crimes happen, and are incredible and finding and getting information on these kinds of things, it's why so many have come to respect you so soon." I'm respected, interesting.

Instead of responding I chugged the rest of the sake and stood up, which got a disgusted sound to come out of Rarity.

"Why I say! No young mare should drink in such a matter!" Then why is Rainbow Dash passed out right next to you? Also I know I look kind of feminine but come on!

"I'm not a mare, I'm a stallion." I said as I walked out.

Tonight has revealed some things I need to be careful of, but luckily Twilight doesn't suspect me.