"WHAT THE FUCK!?!?"

"Bender clam down."

"CALM DOWN!? I BRING IN BLOODY DROVES OF GANG MEMBERS AND CRIMINALS AND I'M REWARDED WITH A FUCKIN' DRUG SEARCH!?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND!?"

"HEY! That is no way to speak to your superior!" Yelled the chief (of police) as he took a huff of his pipe. He got out of his office chair and made his way past me, as he closed the door behind him. (I don't like where this is going)

"I'm sorry Bender. If I had the option to let you continue police work like you do without all of this malarkey I would, but, ponies talk, and there have been a few cops that have filed reports stating their concerns. I have no other option but to do this, I'm sorry." He said as he looked away in shame. That makes sense, shit.

As much as I know that it makes perfect sense, it still isn't good for me. With this body, there is no doubt they will find out I'm an alicorn, and that's if they don't find out I'm a machine/ai. What do I do!? FUCK!

Oh! Ai! I might be able to scan the laws and do a legal dance to get me out of this. Let's see...… Wow there we go.

"Yes sir, but according to the "Equestrian Common Drug Call Laws" part 4.7 on paragraph 7 of page 19, "A report of a co-worker on a drug related topic does not warrant a search of the individual, but rather the work place and surrounding areas of the work place, and evidence found in a drug search of the person as a direct result of the report is not supported by the state or federal government, and search of a person without a separate warrant from one of the princesses can be considered an abuse of police power." I stated, causing the chief's thoughts to visually to grind to a halt, as he just stared at the ground, processing the information dump I just dropped on him.

Yeah, that's a real Equestrian law. A bullshit one, but for now, a welcome one.

Chief finally came back from his trance, and turned to me with a bit of hesitation, before making his way to his desk and began typing. His expression went to shock the moment he pressed enter, and turned to a smirk as he continued. He got up and held out his hand.

"Sorry about that. With everything going on that must have slipped under the radar." He said. I shook his hand, but then moved away towards the door. If this is the type of things I'm going to have to deal with as a police officer, then fuck it.

Chief was then shocked as my badge landed on his desk. He looked up at me with a look of shocked disappointment.

"I quit." I said with a evil smile on my face, closing the door behind me.

0.0

That, was a total shit show, and it could have gone really bad for me. I was honestly lucky to escape with my life, or at least this body. That sounded wrong.

Now onto an equally important matter, at least to me. What kind of reasoning would there be for a law like that, well the answer makes a surprising amount of sense, at least for how stupid it is. The princess who introduced it, a young alicorn named Mi Amo- you know what screw it imma just call her Cadence.

Anyways, the most basic way to put it is that they use the consumers to track the buyers, and then since no one is arresting the buyers, they just move on to a new dealer.

As I continued down the street, I saw the same bar I met Twilight in that night. It seemed like a nice place for my newly unemployed ass.

When I entered it was much emptier than before, with only a few groups here or there, either drinking together or downing their sorrows. I sat down at the bar and started fidgeting with the silverware. It was something I did once in a while when I didn't have anyone to talk to or something better to do. I started flipping the fork between my fingers and twirling it around rapidly, to the point where it was only a blur.

I was then stopped by a waitress, who tapped me on the shoulder to get my order. I ordered some sake and continued my fidgeting. I then started listening to the conversations around me, none of them seemed to interesting, so I went back to my fork.

After I got my sake, I didn't immediately start drinking it. I didn't know why, but something seemed off. I started looking around frantically, for anything out of the ordinary. The only out of place thing I could find was a former fellow cop I saw around, who seemed to be off duty.

I then heard the sound of a mare screaming from outside. Me and the off duty cop immediately dash outside to see the waitress from earlier getting kidnapped.

As she was pulled in I saw that it was another group of Jokerz. The vehicle pulled away as the joker closed the door, but was quickly stopped as I shot the car with a weak electric burst, causing the engine to die. I then smashed in the window and pulled out the waitress, before jumping into the car trough the busted window, and reputedly punching the shit out of the Joker in the back seat.

After I was finished with him, I immediately dodged the spell of a unicorn Joker in the driver seat, who was shouting curses at me while doing so. I then grabbed her head and smashed through the windshield, knocking her out, and likely giving her a concussion.

I then slowly got out of the car and made my way to the off duty cop, who was tending to the waitress.

"I took care of the two criminals in the car, they shouldn't be giving you anymore trouble." I said with a smile, while I didn't like how I was treated by the rest of my former co-workers, that doesn't mean I shouldn't treat them with respect.

The cop returned the smile as he stood up, as he finished examining the would be kidnaped mare.

"Thank you Mr. Bender. I must say I wasn't expecting someone of your skill to be out here so early in the afternoon, I thought you would still be- oh dear where are my manners?" he said as he held out his hand. "I'm Tesla Coil, though you can just call me Spring."

I took a closer look at him while I reached out and shook his hand. He was a thin guy, with dark red fur and a curly cyan mane. He was also shorter than me, but also taller than Twilight. The last major detail I saw was a tattoo of what looked to be a tear drop with an eye inside of it.

"Andromeda Bender, though I guess you already know that. I would love to help you take these guys in, but I just quit today, so I hope you're okay if I just left and gave you the credit."

"Of course, in that case I never saw you."

"Good, goodbye Spring."

"Goodbye Mr. Bender"

A figure in a cop uniform sat across from a Joker, who sat there shaking nervously. His eyes darted around the room, as if looking for an escape from the empty room.

"Don't worry my friend, you did good. You can relax." Said the figure.

"I-I-I did what you asked boss, Bender is out of the police force, probably for good." Said the still shaking Joker.

"I know, I know." Continued the boss, his voice an icy chill deep, but yet was in perfect harmony. "I took the liberty of checking, just to be safe, and I must say, while he isn't in prison, you've done an excellent job in making sure he doesn't give us anymore trouble. At least, not with police support." The boss said as he poured a deep green tea into a china cup in front of him, as he inhaled the aroma.

"You certainly did much better than that other one I put in charge of one of these types of things, completely ratted himself out, the damn traitor. He even made me loose my cool." Spoke the boss, as the Joker felt a chill go down his spine. He had been there when that other guy was punished for confessing to Andromeda.

"W-What now boss?"

"Now?" The boss chuckled as he sipped his tea. "We can be a little more forward with our 'business'."

Author's Note

I was going to have this edited, but i felt this took far to long to begin with. I hope it's still good enough.

I'll be sure to give a bit more next time to compensate.

Have a nice day.