A typical World Council meeting
"Greetings, everyone," Ember said, sitting down at the rock table. "Welcome to this year's World Council."
Princesses Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and Twilight of Equestria were all present, as were Queens Novo and Chrysalis. Grampa Griff was present for the griffons, and Prince Rutherford of Yakyakistan. Capper stood in for Klugetown. The King and Queen of Abyssinia were present as well, as in addition to King Thorax and Shining Armor. Even King Sombra was present, though he hardly represented a country at this point. In addition, a diamond dog wearing a crown and claiming to be the king of his species was here, though this was uncertain.
"Alright, let's get down to it," the old griffon said. "What's our first proposal?"
"I propose we raise funding for the arts," Novo suggested. "We absolutely need a good cultural revolution."
"I disagree," Twilight said respectfully. "I propose we raise funding for sciences. It would be nice to set up a good colony on the moon. I also think we should enact scholars in residence, that way anyone behind can get a decent boost to science production."
"I propose we repeal the army tax," the King of Abyssinia said. "Now that the Storm King is gone, we no longer need it just to limit his armies.
"I," Chrysalis said, "desire that we repeal the embargo on the loyalist change-"
"No!" Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and Shining Armor yelled at the same time.
"That embargo is not getting lifted under any circumstances," Twilight added. "With all due respect, you're only here out of courtesy. We have a truce for World Council meetings, otherwise you would be in a Canterlot prison right now."
"I'd like to see you try to shove me in a cage!" Chrysalis snarled, baring her fangs.
"That can be arranged."
Ember tapped the table with the Dragon Scepter. "Let's get back to the issues at stake, if we may."
"Yes, this all unimportant," Prince Rutherford said, leaning back on his gigantic chair. "Me propose we ban crabs!"
"Why?" Thorax asked.
"Me not like them."
"I propose we repeal the ban on jewelry... the last thing Rutherford didn't like," Capper suggested.
"Beauty not important! Jewelry fragile, get smashed anyway!"
"Whateva," Capper leaned back and put his hind paws on the table. "I support lifting the army tax as well."
"What for?" Chrysalis asked in a mocking tone. "You hardly have any troops."
"But I am being forced to pay 25% more for 'em."
"Great proposals, all," Sombra said, looking a little disinterested. "And in addition, I propose I be voted World Leader, so where should we start?"
"Not with you," Cadence muttered.
After a moment of silence, Grampa Griff said, "I'm all fer bannin' crabs."
"Yes! They menace!" the yak prince yelled.
"My country practically runs on crab exports," Queen Novo injected, "so that's a no. Not to mention we're still trying to recover from your ban on pearls."
"Pfff! Shiny things! Not worth anything!"
"Actually, I'm all for banning crabs too," Shining Armor put in. "Got a bad pinch on the muzzle from one on the beach when I was young, so yeah."
"We have to make that decision together," Cadence reminded him. "We don't want to hurt our allies."
"Well, yeah, but still... they pinch!"
"I also support banning crabs," Chrysalis announced. "One got loose in a nursery a few days ago, and nearly bit one of my nymphs."
"Thanks for revealing that your new hive is somewhere near a beach," Twilight quipped.
Chrysalis hissed angrily. "What if that's just what I want you to think?"
"I dunno. Is it?"
"Gotta give big ol' nope to the whole crabs thing," Capper said. "They make up, like, five percent of our economy."
"That's not much," Thorax said.
"So? Gold's gold, my friend."
"Equestria must also give a no vote on banning crabs," Celestia said, as her sister nodded. "Doing so would harm the economy of our allies, and we must respect animals as well as all of nature."
"We cats like crabs as well," the King of Abyssinia said, licking his lips. "So no."
"I don't really like crabs," Thorax said, looking a little embarrassed. "They were a constant menace when I was a nymph, so..."
"Wow, the traitor and I agree on something for once," Chrysalis noted.
"I'm all for banning them," Sombra said. "It's not like doing so will hurt me."
"What, you and your subjects made of crystals?" Cadence asked sarcastically.
"Yes. Obviously."
"Crabs are delicious, so no," Ember said.
"Crabs bite, but they yummy," the diamond dog king said. "No on banning them!"
"So, final tally on banning crabs," Twilight said, writing on a sheet of paper. "Five votes aye, 1 abstention, six votes nay. The ban on crabs does not pass!"
"Me denounce you!" Rutherford yelled in fury.
"Who?"
"All of you!"
"Well, that's pleasant," Cadence said, rolling her eyes.
"Now, what's next?" Twilight asked, looking up from her paper.
"Arts funding vs. Science funding," Ember said. "Might as well decide on that, as its the other big issue."
"Science!" Twilight said eagerly. "Uh, right?" she asked, turning to look at the other Equestrian monarchs."
"No qualms there," Celestia said, shrugging.
"Nor from me," Luna added, "though some new art for the palace and the new museum would be nice as well. It's been ages since a great writer or artist has done something new for Equestrian culture."
"Art dumb! Vote for science!" Rutherford said. "Need to develop infinite smashing machine!"
"Infinite motion engines don't work," Twilight said, eyebrow raised. "Equestria has already tried them."
"Dang it!"
Ember shrugged. "Not that a lot of either science or art gets done in the Dragon Lands, but why not side with science?"
"I vote for art," Novo said forcefully. "Gotta keep up with the times and revolutionize culture. Our new generations need to know of the glory of the past."
"You mean the past where you got driven underwater by the Storm King?" Chrysalis asked, receiving a stormy glare from the hippogriff queen.
"Our hive needs some new art to inspire us," Thorax put in. "We lost most of our history and culture when the hive was destroyed and most changelings were reformed. We need some new culture to help set up a future for our kingdom."
"Just for that, I'm voting for science," Chrysalis countered.
"Gotta be spiteful just to be spiteful, huh," Thorax said, exasperated.
"Yes, though I'll admit, more science means a better hive for me ,and better weapons to conquer the world."
Twilight sniffed. "Yeah, you'll totally conquer the world with... maybe eight drones and a nursery full of kids?"
Chrysalis glared at her. "It's a long-term investment."
"Right," Twilight muttered, rolling her eyes again. "I'll remember to shake with fear when a grubling shakes its stick at me."
"There's money to be made in art," Grampa Griff said. "More art means more tourists, and more gold. I vote fer art."
"Well, there's money to be made with new resources and new buildings," Capper noted. "I vote for science."
"Art," Cadence voted, at the same time that Shining said, "Science." The two looked at each other with puzzlement.
"What? You don't get real space adventures and satellites and moon colonies with art," the husband of the pair said.
"I must vote for science as well," Sombra announced.
"Art," the Abyssinian king said.
"Art," his wife agreed.
"Science," the diamond dog king said. "Better science, more gems."
"So, seven for science, four for art, one abstention. Science funding passes!" Twilight said, full of glee as she raised her front hooves in the air in joy.
"Nice," Sombra said, "now, for that world lea-"
"NO!" everyone else shouted at the same time. Sombra slumped in his seat, crossed his forehooves, and muttered a number of uncomplimentary things as he sulked.
"I propose we enact Autocracy as the world Ideology," Chrysalis stated.
"That would compose you and Sombra, and maybe the standing ruler of the diamond dogs," Twilight said. Everyone else agreed. "Two votes for against eight definitely opposed. Autocracy fails as the world Ideology."
Now it was Chrysalis' turn to sulk. "When I build up the rightful changeling hive again, I'll burn every other city in the world, just for fun... maybe with the exception of Sombra's, assuming he has one."
"I do!" the crystal king said, sitting up a bit more. "it's just... taking a bit of time to build."
"I feel I must bring up the army tax again," Abyssinian king said, raising a paw for attention. "I feel its no longer needed, now that the Storm King is out of the picture, and its draining our treasury... especially since the overgrown brat stole every piece of gold in Abyssinia."
"Ditto," Capper said, raising his paw in support. "No need to pay extra when there's no need."
"Aye," Grampa Griff agreed. "Even if we don't... currently... ya know.. have an army," he added, voice shrinking as he did so.
"I would be more willing to vote 'aye' if we knew that a few certain people here," Novo said, coughing emphatically towards Chrysalis and Sombra, "weren't bent on taking over the world."
"We changelings - the true changelings - will do so no matter what price we must pay, in blood or gold," Chrysalis said imperially.
"I doubt it, when you and Sombra have virtually no subjects," Cadence noted.
"Long-term planning."
"And at least some of us will still be here to resist you then."
"Right, I also support repealing the army tax," Ember said.
"Us no like army tax!" Rutherford bellowed. "Me vote to ban it!"
"Tax take up gems," the diamond dog king said. "Make it go away!"
"That puts the ayes in the majority," Twilight said, writing on the paper again. "The army tax is repealed."
"I suggest we embargo city states," Luna suggested.
"Against," Chrysalis hissed. "I can see what you're doing!"
"Yeah, against, strongly against," Capper said, waving his front paws in a clear negative gesture.
"Embargoing city states hurts everyone," Ember argued. "I would say no."
"No."
"No."
"Nope."
"Naw."
"Unh-unh."
"Yeah, no."
"Not with my trade network!"
"Sorry Princess Luna," Twilight said in apology. "The city state embargo is a no."
"Bother. Keeping her down would help keep the entire world safe, not just Equestria."
"Oh, come on!" Chrysalis said, hooves on the table. "You all keep going on about how weak my hive is!"
"Yes, and then you come back and say that you're planning for long term domination," Twilight replied. "So its best to keep you down."
"I denounce you."
"You know what, we denounce you," Luna responded.
"Whatever, it hardly hurts me," Chrysalis said with a huff. "You all hate us anyway."
"I don't," Thorax said.
"The reverse does not hold true."
"Ouch." Thorax lowered his head in sorrow.
"Also, just for spite, I denounce you too."
"Ugh, let's keep going," Ember said, as the ponies and the changeling Queen glared at one another. "I think I remember Twilight suggesting scholars in residence?"
"Yes!"
"I suppose, since you've all decided to slow down great artists, writers, and musicians," Novo said, looking ruffled over that fact, "I can't really refuse. My troops still have pikes and longswords; some guns would be nice."
"Faster tech, more money," Capper said, laying back in his chair again.
"I think griffon scholars need the help," Grampa Griff said. "Our people need help, after the collapse of our kingdom, hundreds of years ago. It's about time the few griffons willing to look up our past in the books get all the assistance they can."
"I oppose it," Chrysalis said. "Let those too stupid to learn anything important remain in squalor." She made the mistake of glancing at Ember as she said this.
"You know what?" Ember said, rising angrily from her seat. "I denounce you as well," she said firmly, pointing the scepter at Chrysalis.
"Pfff. Whatever."
"Anyway, I'm in," Ember said, still looking daggers at Chrysalis.
"As am I," Grampa Griff said. "Also, I denounce Chrysalis as well.
"Idiot."
"We're in, too," the King of Abyssinia said.
"Us too! Yaks need more science!"
"I oppose the measure," Sombra said. "All I need are my crystals and a little black magic."
"All for banning black magic?" Twilight asked in frustration.
"I would, if only those two would actually obey the injunction," Celestia said sympathetically.
"More science for stuff we're behind in sounds good," Cadence said.
"Well, Chrysalis is behind, so, maybe we shouldn't?" Shining suggested. Both rulers of the Crystal Empire stared curiously at one another again. Chrysalis glared at the white stallion.
Twilight looked toward the diamond dog king, but he was currently sleeping, his head resting on his paws on the table. Somewhat disgusted by this, she said, "That's a clear majority, scholars in residence passes!"
"Right, what else, if anything?" Ember inquired.
"I have a complaint to make against Abyssinia!" Novo said.
Twilight pulled on her eyelids as others groaned.
"You've been building all the best world wonders for years," the queen of the hippogriffs said, pointing a claw at the Abyssinian king. "The Pyramids, Great Wall, Stonehenge, Terracotta Army, and, latest but not least, the Taj Mahal! We needed that happiness and the culture that would have provided; it would have kickstarted a brand new golden age for us!"
"Look," the cat king said, raising his front paws, "don't let our personal projects stop any of you from building what you want."
"Oh, yeah, right," Novo said, rolling her eyes. "I'll just also build the Pyramids! That should be easy, if I can even find any architects willing to copyright infringe a great wonder!"
"Stop whining," Ember said, rolling her eyes. "We dragons managed to build the Forbidden Palace; it's why we're all here in the Dragon Lands."
"How did you get them to stop squabbling and work together long enough to finish it?" Luna asked, curious.
Ember simply shook the Dragon Scepter.
"Ah."
"As for you, Nova, have the Oracle, Parthenon, and Chichen Izta, so I don't see why you're belly aching. We all have at least one wonder... except for the tyrant pair over there."
"I would have constructed a great castle on the ruins of Canterlot if you ponies would have just let me rule," Chrysalis snarled.
"Not going to happen," Luna said with relish.
"I'm building Big Ben in Klugetown," Capper said, looking rather pleased.
"Oh, we started one of those too!" the Abyssinian king said eagerly.
Everyone groaned. "Me denounce you again!" Rutherford shouted.
"Me too," Capper said, pointing an accusatory finger at his former ruler.
"I suppose we could cancel the product-" At that moment, a servant cat from the Abyssinian group ran in, whispered something in the king's ear, then rushed out again. "Never mind, it's done."
Capper began to tear out his head fur. "Ugh, that cost a fortune and a my great deal of influence with the city council to begin. Now what?"
"Just use the money you get from selling the parts to do something useful," Twilight suggested kindly.
"Just remember the Lourve is ours," Novo told the king.
"And what right do you have to restrict us?" the King of Abyssinia replied, growling.
"Let's get back on topic," Ember said. "Is there anything else, or should we call this meeting to a close?"
"What about Freedom as the World Ideology?" Twilight asked.
"No!" Chrysalis barked at once.
"I denounce Equestria," Sombra replied.
"Well, dragons don't really like authority that much," Ember said, thinking about it. "Not to mention, many of us are already nomadic. I guess it wouldn't hurt."
"Yes, that scepter doesn't turn you into an authoritarian leader at all," Chrysalis said, rolling her eyes. Ember's gaze could have turned rock into molten lava.
"Equestria had no problem with this," Luna responded. "The Diarchy is mainly there to guide and protect."
"Hmm, I don't know about that," Cadence murmured. "Forcing an ideology down the world's throat."
"As opposed to the harmony and friendship you want to stuff us full of?" Chrysalis sarcastically quipped. Cadence stared daggers at her.
"I support Twi's proposal," Shining said.
"Of course you would," Chrysalis muttered.
"Aye, we griffons are willing to accept this."
"Us too," Novo said. "Freedom is key to building a great culture."
"We'll pass," the Queen of Abyssinia said, with a thumb down for good measure. "Order is better."
"Yeah, for all the wonders you keep stealing from the rest of us," Novo sniped.
"They aren't yours if you haven't finished them, are they?" the Abyssinian king replied cattily.
"Enough about wonders!" Ember snapped.
"Freedom essential to yaks! Vote yes!" Rutherford yelled.
"The new changeling hive has much to gain from living in liberty," Thorax replied. "I think I'll support it."
"That's a clear majority, motion passed!" Twilight said happily.
"Thanks for all the rebellions and unhappiness the rest of you are going to inflict on the rest of the world," the cat queen said in anger.
"They won't happen if you turn to Freedom as well," Celestia suggested.
"And let go the benefits of production and progress? No thank you."
"I denounce the rest of the world," her husband said.
Ember rolled her eyes. "If that bout of stupidity is over, can we finish this meeting?"
Chrysalis brought up some object that looked like a beetle, examined it, and grinned.
"What are you so happy about?" Twilight asked, suspicious.
"It's none of your business."
"It is if it affects Equestria!"
Chrysalis put her front hooves together and moved them up and down as if they were jaws in mockery. "I'm out of here. I have a hive to rebuild, and a world to conquer."
"Never going to happen," Ember frowned. "Not while we're still here."
Chrysalis didn't answer, but, along with King Sombra, simply walked out.
"Ugh, let's make sure those two don't cause trouble," Ember said. "I'm going to keep my army on alert."
"As will Equestria," Celestia promised.
"I have to begin plans on annexing the Storm King's realm soon," Novo said, as she got up out of her chair. "Expect a new exhibition in the museum that was just built there."
"Oh?" Twilight said, intrigued. "What'll be there?"
"Lots of art and relics that the Storm King kindly left in his vaults. Why, we even have his staff as the prime exhibit in the gallery."
"Hold on," Luna said, worried. "Aren't you worried about a rebellion? What if the storm creatures rebel against you and take back the staff?"
"I doubt it," the hippogriff queen answered. "We've been easing up on the occupation, and we've managed to raise happiness there somewhat."
A blue hippogriff flew into the room at that moment. "Your Majesty!"
"What's goin' on? You know not to-"
"It's urgent, my Queen. We've detected a unit of changeling infiltrators - under Chrysalis' banner - near the city of the storm creatures!"
Novo stood there, stunned. "What would changelings want with... and how did they even...?"
"I think," Luna said solemnly, "that we will need another chair at our next meeting."
"What do you... no," the hippogriff queen said, eyes wide with fear.
"Yes," Twilight said, facehoofing. "The Storm King is coming back."
"An excellent move, if I do say so," Sombra said, walking beside Chrysalis.
"Indeed," the changeling Queen said, content. "My infiltrators will capture that city faster than Novo can return to her half horse - half bird kingdom."
"And why would you choose to liberate it?" the King asked. "Surely it would be of more use to you under your direct control? Not to mention the feeding you would get out of it."
"A calculated sacrifice. By liberating a city instead of conquering it, some will choose to forget about our warmongering... for a while, at least. And the Storm King will make for a valuable ally and distraction; he'll be grateful to me for bringing him back, and the fish-bird ponies will have a fit."
"As for the staff, why not use it for yourself?"
"It's that staff that makes him so powerful. Without it, I doubt the city of the storm creatures could hold back the Equestrian and Hippogriff armies. I'll choose to leave it in the city when I've taken it. If only I could safely be a fly on the wall in the room when Novo realizes that her obsession with her precious art has cost her so much." She laughed.
Sombra did, too. "And don't forget, my crystals helped keep your changelings happy."
"I won't. I'll give you the five tons of iron a month that we manage to mine in order to help you get started."
"You realize that only one can rule this world, you know."
"That's what make this alliance steady, to a certain degree; we're aware of what the others will do to betray one another. We might be down, but we're not out. And when there's only three rulers left to dominate the world... that's when the free for all begins. However, that's not going to be possible for a few centuries, given our..." Chrysalis winced. "...weakened capabilities. I have a hive to rebuild, and you a city. And the Storm King will have a wave of friendship lovers and harmony fools to ward off... with our help."
"I suppose we'll have to do our best... and keep our locations hidden."
"I just hope the ponies don't develop satellites in the near future," Chrysalis said, frowning. "Twilight Sparkle has been talking about space recently, according to my infiltrator in Ponyville."
"Why did you vote for science then?"
"Because, in the end, I need it to build my new hive," Chrysalis sighed. "And you need it to build up your city of crystal golems. We need to gain and maintain our own advantage; mere magic and strength of numbers isn't enough anymore."
"Well, I shall go back to my own empire, and do my best to build it to rival the Crystal City."
"And I will go back to building my hive. See you at the next meeting."
"See you then." Sombra transformed into a cloud of dark matter and abruptly flew out of a window.
Just remember, my crystal-loving friend, this world belongs to me, Chrysalis thought as she left the council altogether.
Author's Note
I do not endorse the anger/hostility/hate that any of the characters display in this story. This was a reference to a funny series of Civ skits by Door Monster, and out of my experiences as a Civ 5 player. This was a story for laughs, not for real world hate or anger to take place or to inspire people toward it.
