This Ain't Compendium: Hangover

Sweet Apple Acres

“I can’t believe I agreed with this shit” Dempsey thought as he, along with the apple family and Rainbow Dash, was sitting on a huge table inside the farm warehouse. He looked briefly at the other ponies present as they were talking to each other and smiling “remember Dempsey, whatever you do, don’t drink anything” he mumbled.

“So, what’cha think partner?” Applejack said, she was sitting next to him, on his left “ah bet ya didn’t see this comin’”

“Tell me again what you are up to, Applejack” he said serious “’cause I see you literally brought the entire fucking family here”

“Ah invited ya to mah famous apple feast ah organize every year” she put a hoof on his shoulder “Ah’m sure ya’ll love this” she turned to her rainbow mane friend who was sitting next to Dempsey, on his right “right, Dashie?”

“Of course!” she replied with a smile “this will be our apology for what happened yesterday”

“Yeah right” he replied sarcastically “and how the hell am I supposed to not t’get bored?”

“Just wait and soon the food will come” the orange pony said.

The three were sitting and looked each other as an awkward silence reigned over them. Suddenly, he felt his uniform was being pulled continuously from his back.

“The hell?” he turned around and saw a yellow filly with red mane looking at him curiously “what’s this?”

“She’s mah sis Applebloom” Applejack replied and turned to her sister “what’cha want, sugarcube?”

The filly smiled widely while Dempsey made an awkward face as he wasn’t sure how to react, she then said: “mah friends and I want t’meet the new guest”

“Oh joy” he said with sarcasm “what will come next? Molest time?” he felt a poke on his right arm.

“Please don’t say those harsh words in front of the fillies” Rainbow Dash whispered on his ear “they tend to... repeat them constantly”

“Really?”

“Yes”

Dempsey smiled mischievously as he looked at the filly “all right, filly. If you wanna meet Dempsey, then I got no problem”
Applebloom bounced in happiness as Applejack smiled. She then grabbed Dempsey’s pants and guided him where the other two fillies were waiting.

“Nice! You convinced him to come here!” an orange Pegasus filly with purple mane said.

“This will be so much fun” Sweetie Belle said “not like that other creature that made my sister drunk and yell at me”

“Oh come on, it’s not that bad” the Pegasus said, comforting her friend

“First, my name’s Dempsey and I’m a human” Dempsey interrupted “and second, who the hell are you?”

The three fillies stood in front of him and smiled.

“Let’s do it as planned” the white unicorn said as she lifted her hooves up “I’m Sweetie Belle”

“I’m Scootaloo” the Pegasus said as she did the same

“Ah’m Applebloom” the third filly said.

“And we are” they put their hooves together in a clumsy attempt to make a dancing move “The Cutie Mark Crusaders”

Dempsey couldn’t help but to smile and he clapped slowly “now that was fucking hilarious”

“Fucking?” Sweetie Belle interrupted, showing curiosity on her words “my sister said the same word yesterday, but I never knew its meaning”

“Me too” Scootaloo said

“Me three” Applebloom said

“What does that word mean, Dempsey?” the unicorn asked.

“You don’t wanna know” he replied.

“Oh please tell us!” the three fillies said in unison “please please please please please!”

“Okay okay!” he said loudly “just shut the hell up and sit back” the three fillies stood silent as they waited excited “it’s used for... manners”

“Manners?” the white filly replied confused.

“Yes” he said as he grinned mischievously “when you want to say something’s surprising or outstanding in a good way, you add that word”

“Oh, oh!” the orange Pegasus lifted her left hoof “then is it okay to say something like...” she put her hoof on her chin “Applebloom’s my fucking friend?”

He nodded his head in agreement “you got it right”

“Oh, lemme try” Applebloom said and then she looked around as she made a thoughtful face “is it ‘kay to say “ah fuckin’ love apples” or “ah love fuckin’ apples”?”

“Both are correct, lil’ Applejack”

“Let me also try” the white Unicorn interrupted “is it also correct to say something like...” she remained thoughtful “My sister makes fucking fancy dresses?”

“Of course; you all are correct” he then clapped slowly again “outstanding fillies, out fucking standing. You kick ass”

“Ass?” the orange Pegasus filly asked “what’s that?”

The human turned to Applejack and Rainbow Dash and smiled “Dempsey will get at last his payback. Just wait and see, bitches” he thought and he turned back to the fillies. He looked at them and then said: “guess you have a lot to learn and Dempsey is here to teach you the right way”. The Crusaders looked at each other with joy and happiness.