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The Unique Properties of Dark Magic

by Shadestyle
Stranded in Equestria's far past in the body of a unicorn without any magical knowledge, the self proclaimed "Weiss Noir" fights for survival in the Frozen North by indulging in sorcery most foul.

Given a unique perspective on negative emotion, less than a foal's knowledge of ordinary magic, a healthy schadenfreude, and danger bearing down on all sides, the self-proclaimed "Weiss Noir" makes no plans accounting for his death, and plans to keep it that way, even after being torn away from earth, turned into a unicorn, and dumped into one of the most inhospitable locations and times in all of Equestria.

Stranded in the Frozen North, a place where biting cold ends lives, and one thousand years in the past, in a time when peril is the norm, rather than the exception, Weiss decides to indulge in sorcery most foul, stolen ideas, and human ingenuity to survive.

Given the choice between a mad slaver and a mad sage, however, there is no avoiding an inevitable tide of ponies escaping the conquered Crystal Empire to bask in the warmth of his well-stoked hate. Something which draws attention, enemies, and most worryingly, the rivalry of his "peers".

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Teen
Incomplete
Profanity
Adventure
Violence
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Alternate Universe
Human
 
KPMPO

483197 words: Estimated 1 day to read
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160 Chapters:

  1. (Past Chapter 1): The Unique Properties of Desperation 2019-05-12 03:10:55 UTC
    4150
  2. (Noir Report) A Clear-Headed Report on Unclear Findings [Black Flame] 2019-05-12 06:25:04 UTC
    1022
  3. (Present Chapter 1): The Return of Light: Part 1 2019-05-14 07:37:30 UTC
    4193
  4. (Weiss Report) Chug [Estus and Bonfires] 2019-05-14 08:29:54 UTC
    1314
  5. (Past Chapter 2): Hopeful Ultimatum 2019-05-17 23:35:09 UTC
    4218
  6. (Noir Report) A Refutation on the Common Usage of Dark Crystal [Sombra's Corrupt Crystal Creation] 2019-05-18 02:48:59 UTC
    1131
  7. (Present Chapter 2): The Return of Light: Part 2 2019-05-20 05:24:34 UTC
    5738
  8. (Weiss Report) Bribes [Master Sword and Vampire Killer] 2019-05-21 03:13:04 UTC
    1923
  9. (Past Chapter 3): Strike the Earth! 2019-05-23 03:36:05 UTC
    4390
  10. (Noir Report) The Occasional Benefits of Experimental Contamination [Royal Crystal Growth] 2019-05-23 16:22:53 UTC
    1043
  11. (Present Chapter 3): Roast Busters 2019-05-24 21:06:46 UTC
    4991
  12. (Weiss Report) Believe It! [Shadow Clone] 2019-05-25 15:27:15 UTC
    1012
  13. (Past Chapter 4): Greed is Good 2019-05-26 19:51:34 UTC
    4354
  14. (Noir Report) An Aside on Dragonfire 2019-05-27 16:58:44 UTC
    1022
  15. (Present Chapter 4): Painful Reminders 2019-05-28 22:06:37 UTC
    4421
  16. (Weiss Report) Time Travel Sucks [Time Machine] 2019-05-29 12:14:41 UTC
    1065
  17. (Past Chapter 5): Genre Savvy 2019-05-30 21:44:14 UTC
    5066
  18. (Noir Report) Observations of Unicorn Utility in Moments of Frustration [Prestidigitonium] 2019-05-31 16:21:14 UTC
    1017
  19. (Present Chapter 5): Time-Release Formula 2019-06-01 19:46:16 UTC
    5234
  20. (Weiss Report..?) Color Commentary 2019-06-02 16:49:01 UTC
    1108
  21. (Past Chapter 6): Wrath of the Gods: Part 1 2019-06-03 22:57:52 UTC
    4140
  22. (Noir Report) An Abridged Depiction of Enchantment [Golem Creation] 2019-06-04 14:44:36 UTC
    1020
  23. (Present Chapter 6): Make a Wish 2019-06-05 16:48:30 UTC
    4411
  24. (Weiss Report) Unlimited Blades Work [Bound Sword] 2019-06-06 18:05:16 UTC
    1191
  25. (Past Chapter 7): Wrath of the Gods: Part 2 2019-06-07 19:03:57 UTC
    5265
  26. (Noir Report) Indirect Data Gathering [Merciful Bulwark] 2019-06-08 15:13:33 UTC
    1014
  27. (Present Chapter 7): Winter Shut-In 2019-06-09 16:38:06 UTC
    4359
  28. (Weiss Report) Lookalike [Metal Dash] 2019-06-10 15:05:00 UTC
    1195
  29. (Past Chapter 8) Handled Like a Dream 2019-06-11 16:55:27 UTC
    4180
  30. (Noir Report) Intriguing Thoughts on the Subject of Magical Habit [Hoofcasting and Unicorn Light] 2019-06-12 15:56:29 UTC
    1066
  31. (Present Chapter 8): Purple's Clues 2019-06-13 16:06:21 UTC
    4311
  32. (Weiss Report) Fanservice [Divine Words] 2019-06-14 18:23:02 UTC
    1028
  33. (Past Chapter 9): Next Level 2019-06-15 14:44:12 UTC
    4354
  34. (Noir Report) Revisiting Basics [Black Flame Alchemy] 2019-06-16 14:34:12 UTC
    1017
  35. (Present Chapter 9): Three's a Crowd 2019-06-17 14:01:22 UTC
    5197
  36. (Weiss Report) The Holy [Merciful Flash] 2019-06-18 13:55:10 UTC
    1054
  37. (Past Chapter 10): Fun and Games 2019-06-19 14:27:54 UTC
    4091
  38. (Noir Report) Eclipse Flash's Guide to Assisted Spellcasting [Materia] 2019-06-20 14:04:16 UTC
    1031
  39. (Present Chapter 10): Come True 2019-06-21 14:20:16 UTC
    4412
  40. (Weiss Report) Aperture Magic [Homeward Portal] 2019-06-22 14:15:33 UTC
    1163
  41. (Past Chapter 11): Turbulent Times 2019-06-23 14:23:33 UTC
    4483
  42. (Noir Report) A Disclaimer and Explicit Re-Warning [Chimera Wing] 2019-06-24 14:11:11 UTC
    1024
  43. (Present Chapter 11): It Might As Well Be Spring 2019-06-25 14:34:01 UTC
    4252
  44. (Weiss Report) A Wind Sorcerer's Best Friend [Eyeroc] 2019-06-26 15:30:47 UTC
    1017
  45. (Past Chapter 12): Hot Wings 2019-06-27 14:08:29 UTC
    4262
  46. (Noir Report) The First Mastery of Hatred [Killing Intent] 2019-06-28 14:13:54 UTC
    1015
  47. (Present Chapter 12) Time Trial 2019-06-29 14:00:34 UTC
    4545
  48. (Weiss Report) Changing Gears [Color of Arms] 2019-06-30 14:07:43 UTC
    1122
  49. (Past Chapter 13): The End of The Beginning 2019-07-01 14:15:19 UTC
    4116
  50. (Noir Report) Convergent Evolution in the Development of Basic Spellcraft [Foxfire] 2019-07-02 14:42:21 UTC
    1019
  51. (Present Chapter 13): Spring Cleaning: Part 1 2019-07-03 14:51:42 UTC
    4558
  52. (Weiss Report) Material Components [Expired Aspira] 2019-07-04 14:48:44 UTC
    1056
  53. (Past Chapter 14): I Hate You 2019-07-05 14:01:49 UTC
    5047
  54. (Noir Report) Establishing a Metric of Measurement [Spell Rankings] 2019-07-06 14:02:41 UTC
    1053
  55. (Present Chapter 14): Spring Cleaning: Part 2 2019-07-07 15:01:57 UTC
    6694
  56. (Weiss Report) Gate of Babylon, and Other Fun Party Tricks [Homeworld Portal] 2019-07-08 14:48:31 UTC
    1045
  57. (Past Chapter 15): Allusions of Grandeur 2019-07-09 15:24:04 UTC
    4401
  58. (Noir Report) Outliers to Magical Theory [Fire Breath] 2019-07-10 14:07:39 UTC
    1035
  59. (Present Chapter 15): Self-Righteousless 2019-07-11 14:24:15 UTC
    4504
  60. (Weiss Report) Bootstrap Godhood [Materia] 2019-07-12 15:07:27 UTC
    1074
  61. (Past Chapter 16): Blast Day 2019-07-13 14:52:03 UTC
    4255
  62. (Noir Report) The Unique Properties of Unity [Kingdom Heart] 2019-07-14 16:45:18 UTC
    1070
  63. (Present Chapter 16): Into the Highest Depths; The Star Sanctuary Temple 2019-07-15 17:00:34 UTC
    6256
  64. (Weiss Report) Bug Out Bag [Wannabeetles] 2019-07-16 15:00:08 UTC
    1063
  65. (Past Chapter 17): The Champion 2019-07-17 14:22:29 UTC
    4548
  66. (Noir Report) Outsourcing Research to Suitable Candidates [Glitter Miss Priss's Hit-or-Miss Punch] 2019-07-18 16:29:35 UTC
    1056
  67. (Present Chapter 17): Applejacked Up 2019-07-19 16:27:54 UTC
    4348
  68. (Weiss Report) Almighty Alchemy [Mount Krakatroda] 2019-07-20 15:18:51 UTC
    1066
  69. (Past Chapter 18): Punch Drunk 2019-07-21 15:54:42 UTC
    4779
  70. (Noir Report) Revisiting Regal Toxins [Royal Sugar] 2019-07-22 15:24:37 UTC
    1050
  71. (Present Chapter 18): The Fastest Thing Alive 2019-07-23 14:34:11 UTC
    4599
  72. (Weiss Report) A Brief Report [Hoi-Poi Capsule] 2019-07-24 17:11:14 UTC
    1031
  73. (Past Chapter 19): Flash in the Dark 2019-07-25 15:46:59 UTC
    4031
  74. (Noir Report): Presenting Proof of Earth Pony Teleportation [Eclipse Flash's Hotswap] 2019-07-26 15:58:46 UTC
    1034
  75. (Present Chapter 19): The Black Book Club 2019-07-27 17:06:31 UTC
    4280
  76. (Weiss Report) The Zappening [Pensieve] 2019-07-28 16:00:37 UTC
    1046
  77. (Past Chapter 20): The Cold Heart of Hate: Part 1 2019-07-29 16:27:14 UTC
    4480
  78. (Noir Newsletter) Layman's Guide to Shadow Realm Defenses [Summons and Golemancy] 2019-07-30 15:08:03 UTC
    1025
  79. (Present Chapter 20): Blackest Night: Part 1 2019-07-31 15:10:14 UTC
    4602
  80. (Weiss Report) A Disgusting Biology [Death Beam] 2019-08-01 15:30:35 UTC
    1154
  81. (Past Chapter 21): The Cold Heart of Hate: Part 2 2019-08-02 15:40:53 UTC
    5894
  82. (Noir Newsletter) Biological Trade Secrets Repurposed to Altrusitic Ends [Pokemon] 2019-08-03 17:13:46 UTC
    1063
  83. (Present Chapter 21): Blackest Night: Part 2 2019-08-04 16:28:36 UTC
    5990
  84. (Weiss Report) Extra Bosses (Weapons) 2019-08-05 16:24:50 UTC
    1113
  85. (Past Chapter 22): Breather 2019-08-06 15:07:05 UTC
    4151
  86. (Rubrum Report) Windego 1 2019-08-07 17:10:50 UTC
    1042
  87. (Present Chapter 22): Baring Baby Teeth 2019-08-08 16:03:08 UTC
    5605
  88. (Weiss Report) Not a Bad Slime [Air Gel] 2019-08-09 16:29:19 UTC
    1043
  89. (Past Chapter 23): Fool's Errand 2019-08-10 17:19:06 UTC
    4727
  90. (Noir Report) A Reimagining of Existing Spellwork [Mistril] 2019-08-11 17:35:15 UTC
    1131
  91. (Present Chapter 23): Green at the Gills 2019-08-12 17:53:47 UTC
    4023
  92. (Weiss Report) Bubble Trouble [Pegasus Seafoam] 2019-08-13 19:07:50 UTC
    1121
  93. (Past Chapter 24): A Fool and Their Bits 2019-08-14 19:44:19 UTC
    4073
  94. (Noir Report) Summons Taken to Frank Extremes and Mundane Depths [Daemons] 2019-08-15 15:18:48 UTC
    1017
  95. (Present Chapter 24): Show Her the Fifty States 2019-08-16 21:53:38 UTC
    4805
  96. (Weiss Report) Chaos Butterfly [Slepnir Gear] 2019-08-17 17:02:45 UTC
    1045
  97. (Past Chapter 25): Proof of Concept 2019-08-19 17:58:48 UTC
    4171
  98. (Noir Newsletter) Ocular Instalations and Security Crackdowns 2019-08-21 20:06:26 UTC
    1014
  99. (Present Chapter 25): Blood in the Water 2019-08-23 18:32:48 UTC
    4123
  100. (Our Plan) 2019-08-25 18:43:33 UTC
    1012
  101. (Past Chapter 26): Pregame Warmup 2019-08-27 17:37:39 UTC
    4052
  102. (Noir Newsletter) The Nature of Our Enemy Made Clear 2019-08-29 17:15:55 UTC
    1030
  103. (Present Chapter 26): Dark Tournament: Part 1 2019-08-31 23:01:32 UTC
    4092
  104. (Weiss Report) My Hourglass Runneth Over [Lamp of Life] 2019-09-02 17:05:22 UTC
  105. (Past Chapter 27): Proxy War: Part 1 2019-09-04 21:09:33 UTC
    4083
  106. (Experiment Log) Eclipse and Priss's Revisitation of Dusty Old Spellbooks 2019-09-07 00:15:28 UTC
    1012
  107. (Present Chapter 27): Dark Tournament: Part 2 2019-09-09 04:48:17 UTC
    3992
  108. (Weiss Report) April Fools [The Best Spell Ever] 2019-09-16 17:10:38 UTC
    574
  109. (Past Chapter 28): Proxy War: Part 2 2019-09-16 21:05:23 UTC
    2628
  110. (Noir Newsletter) Final Sum 2019-09-23 23:12:48 UTC
    535
  111. (Present Chapter 28): Clown World 2021-05-11 12:07:52 UTC
    2607
  112. (Present Chapter 29): Waltz With a Madman 2021-05-14 15:04:55 UTC
    2205
  113. (Present Chapter 30): Test of Courage 2021-05-17 19:51:02 UTC
    2760
  114. (Present Chapter 31): Too Far Gone 2021-05-20 21:19:52 UTC
    4921
  115. (Past Chapter 29): A New Age 2021-05-23 22:28:11 UTC
    4481
  116. (Present Chapter 32): Wake for the Living 2021-05-25 12:04:20 UTC
    2595
  117. (Past Chapter 30): Life and Love 2021-05-26 18:17:35 UTC
    4067
  118. (Present Chapter 33): Schaudenfreude 2021-05-28 18:03:24 UTC
    2407
  119. (Past Chapter 31): Lovesick 2021-05-30 03:50:15 UTC
    3691
  120. (That Book) 2021-05-30 13:04:28 UTC
    1121
  121. (Present Chapter 34): Hatesick 2021-05-31 23:24:10 UTC
    6250
  122. (Past Chapter 32) Darkest Hour (Part 1) 2021-06-03 03:42:44 UTC
    6664
  123. (Past Chapter 33) Darkest Hour (Part 2) 2021-06-04 04:53:11 UTC
    6226
  124. (Present Chapter 35) Darkest Hour (Part 3) 2021-06-06 04:48:50 UTC
    6428
  125. (Present Chapter 36) Darkest Hour (Part 4) 2021-06-07 01:57:47 UTC
    3654
  126. (Present Chapter 37) A New World 2021-06-09 01:29:43 UTC
    3383
  127. (Past Chapter 34) Mad 2021-06-10 23:11:01 UTC
    3947
  128. (Present Chapter 38) All The Buzz 2021-06-14 04:35:45 UTC
    3699
  129. (Present Chapter 39) Afterparty 2021-06-16 23:38:53 UTC
    4383
  130. (Past Chapter 35) The Enemies of Their Enemies 2021-06-17 22:41:17 UTC
    2232
  131. (Present Chapter 40) The Friends of Their Friends 2021-06-19 09:44:33 UTC
    6369
  132. (Past Chapter 36) Three Curses 2021-06-21 00:14:16 UTC
    4426
  133. (Weiss Report) Statistics on Cruel and Unusual Concoctions [Black Water Mist] 2021-06-21 18:13:21 UTC
    1206
  134. (Present Chapter 41) Cognitive Dissonance 2021-06-23 05:12:26 UTC
    2315
  135. (Present Chapter 42) Forget-You-Not 2021-06-24 06:33:07 UTC
    4465
  136. (Past Chapter 37) Enemies Closer 2021-06-25 10:31:28 UTC
    2371
  137. (Past Chapter 38) Straight to Tartarus 2021-06-26 10:33:38 UTC
    2755
  138. (Present Chapter 43) Friend and Foe 2021-06-28 06:19:25 UTC
    4504
  139. (Past Chapter 39) Dragon Mouse 2021-06-30 05:45:31 UTC
    4680
  140. (Present Chapter 44) Sharing Stories 2021-07-02 20:58:30 UTC
    2375
  141. (Present Chapter 45) Meeting Fury 2021-07-05 17:13:18 UTC
    3600
  142. (Past Chapter 40) The Second 2021-07-08 20:44:32 UTC
    3056
  143. (Present Chapter 46) The Honest Truth 2021-07-12 00:03:15 UTC
    2182
  144. (Past Chapter 41) Subtle Oddities 2021-07-14 03:13:54 UTC
    2819
  145. (Present Chapter 47) Poor Fools 2021-07-17 02:36:54 UTC
    2550
  146. (Present Chapter 48) Some Honest Work 2021-07-20 05:34:21 UTC
    2725
  147. (Present Chapter 49) Little White Lies 2021-07-23 03:57:55 UTC
    2748
  148. (Past Chapter 42) Grand Mal 2021-07-26 07:41:00 UTC
    3436
  149. (Past Chapter 43) Unpunished Deed 2021-07-29 05:08:44 UTC
    2306
  150. (Present Chapter 50) Nine-Tenths 2021-08-01 05:33:41 UTC
    2665
  151. (Present Chapter 51) Ten-Tenths 2021-08-04 09:54:12 UTC
    2878
  152. (Past Chapter 44) Bad Boys 2021-08-07 05:15:29 UTC
    2198
  153. (Present Chapter 52) Slow Change, In An Instant 2021-08-10 17:48:51 UTC
    3041
  154. (Present Chapter 53) Path to Victory 2021-08-23 09:57:39 UTC
    3368
  155. (Present Chapter 54) Gamemaster 2021-08-29 08:57:05 UTC
    4433
  156. (Present Chapter 55) Bright Eyes and Wonder 2021-09-04 17:25:30 UTC
    4213
  157. (Past Chapter 45) The Thief-Witch (Part 1) 2021-09-12 11:50:14 UTC
    2969
  158. (Past Chapter 46) The Thief-Witch (Part 2) 2021-09-14 16:36:53 UTC
    5003
  159. (Present Chapter 56) Seventh Warrior, Fifth Weapon 2021-09-20 00:50:52 UTC
    2970
  160. (Present Chapter 57) Machine Without a Purpose 2023-11-30 07:54:44 UTC
    2683