Why so Serious?

by Gnarl

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, Spike, Comedy, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe
Length: 5898

New friends are always fun to have but keep in mind, some new friends can be a bit... different then others. Twilight discovers this first hand.

Twilight decides to stick herself out there and try to make some more friends. She knew she'd probably meet some strangers but what she didn't expect was the stranger she met to be so... Strange.

My entry into the Monster Mares story contest. Staring my version of a Kuchisake Onna, translated to English it means slit-mouthed women, a type of Yokai from Japanese Folklore. Here's a Link to where I researched this type of Yokai so anyone who wants to learn more about these fascinating supernatural beings is able to. Enjoy. Yokai-nda have to look for them. ;P

I rated it Teen because I'm not 100% sure it's An E for Everyone. Also if you spot any tags that I missed please let me know and I'll fix that right away.

I hope you all enjoy.:pinkiehappy:

Published 2019-06-16 23:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-06-16 23:20:01 UTC

Is it obvious?

It had been a very quiet day for Twilight Sparkle. There had only been three ponies that came to the library and two of those had been to return the books they'd checked out. The purple unicorn sighed heavily as she pushed the last book on her reorganization list into its place on the shelf. While she'd never, ever say reorganizing the library was boring, she would admit she was utterly bored.

It was late afternoon and the Celestia was starting the sun on its descent toward the horizon. As she checked off the last box on her checklist a conversation, she had earlier that day came unbidden to the forefront of her mind.

* Flashback*

"You need to get out more Twilight. Calling you a hermit would be an understatement at this point." Spike said flatly as he helped her finish the checklist to make sure-they-had-everything-on-the-checklist. Twilight's eyes narrowed slightly in annoyance, but it didn't stay long so she just sighed.

"I get that Spike, I really do, but all my friends are off doing their own thing. Rarity's in Manehattan for fashion week, Rainbow's in Cloudsdale visiting her family, Applejack is extremely busy with her work, Fluttershy is lending a helping hoof to the wildlife preserve in Appaloosa and Pinkie Pie is... Is..." Twilight paused as she tried to think about what that pink, party mare was up to. All she got was a headache and crossed eyes for her thoughts. She gave her head a shake to clear the cobwebs before she continued.

"Pinkie's doing whatever she does when she has free time." She said, making a mental note never to go down that rabbit hole ever again if she wanted to keep her sanity.

"The point is all my friends are busy, so I really don't have a reason to go out." Twilight sighed, depressed at that. Spike barely held back the urge to face-claw at the mare he considered his big sister.

"You know," Spike said after a deep breath, "For being Celestia's protege and the smartest mare I know, you sure can be oblivious to the most obvious of things." Twilight snorted in amusement.

"Oh really? Please then, tell me what my blind-to-the-obvious eyes can't see, oh captain obvious." She snarked back at him. A small smile formed on Spike's face at her response. It seems their humor and mannerisms had rubbed off on each other more then they'd realized. Filly Twilight wouldn't be caught dead being 'disrespectful' to anyone. At least not to their face.

"Make some NEW friends," Spike said. He swore he actually heard the gears in Twilights brain grind to a halt as his words reached her. Knowing he had to strike before her defenses were back up, he quickly continued.

"The girls won't always be around to hang out with, they have their own lives just the same as you do. You need to get out of the library and nopony said there was a limit to the number of friends you can have in total. So, the simple and most effective way to deal with this is, to quote Princess Celestia, 'Make some friends.' "

When trying to convince Twilight there was something she needed to do Spike had learned what worked and what didn't early on. For example, if he even hinted that the princes would be happy with her actions Twilight would put one hundred and fifty percent effort into it, no holds barred. He squashed the urge to sigh at the borderline fanatic levels of worship his big sister in all, but blood showed for the solar princes. He did feel a bit bad for manipulating her like this, but he knew she needed to get out, live a little and not become a shut-in librarian. Plus, he had a special date tonight and wanted the library to himself.

Twilight bit her lip as she mulled over what Spike said. She had to admit he had a point at that answer is obvious and she mentally berated herself for not thinking of it in the first place. He was also right that there was no limit on how many friends the princess said she could have so she could make more friends if she wanted to. Twilight sighed in defeat.

"When did you become the teacher and me the student Spike?" She asked with a small smile. Spike just chuckled and blushed at the praise as he scratched the back of his head sheepishly.

"Come on Twilight, you think I wouldn't learn a thing or two when I live with the smartest mare in Equestria?" He said before jumping up onto her back. She shook her head in amused acceptance as they went about their day.

* Flashback End*

"Spikes' right," Twilight sighed out. She really needed to get out and make more friends.

"But where am I going to go? I don't know where ponies go to make new friends. Are there designated friend making areas?" She pondered out loud while walking into the kitchen to get a snack. Spike had left about an hour ago to... go somewhere. He didn't tell her, and she didn't think to ask at the time. Pulling a few carrots out of the fridge she sat down at the table to eat.

"Where do I go?" She asked herself again with the same results as the first time. Munching on her snack she glanced down at the table and saw the days' paper laying open there. Grabbing it in telekinesis she picked it up and skimmed the articles. She paused mid-bite as one particular article caught her attention. It was a grand opening notice for a new pub opening up in Ponyville. Reading a bit further she saw the opening was today in about an hour.

While it was no grand book signing, a new establishment would be a perfect place to meet new ponies and try to make friends. She'd never been to a pub before so that would also be a new experience for her. Making a quick mental note of the address Twilight quickly finished her carrots and trotted upstairs to take a shower. She had some new friends to make, and she'd never forgive herself for being tardy for a meeting of any kind.

Behind the mask she wore

Looking at the outside of the 'establishment' Twilight was having second thoughts about the whole 'make new friends' thing. It wasn't to say the place was bad looking but, it had a certain acquired taste to it.

The front of the building was clean and well cared for, the walls painted deep earth brown with dark green and blue highlighted trim. The sign above the door was what grabbed her attention the most and if she was being honest, kind of scared her a little. Hanging from the metal bar was a square sign with a pair of wide, unblinking, piercing eyes. The left pupil was slit like a cat and the right a horizontal bar like a toad. The name of the pub 'The Other Side' was written in bright orange letters underneath them.

The front windows were frosted so she couldn't sneak a peek inside before going in. As her brain started spouting 'what ifs' at her she took a few long deep breaths doing her best to corral her errant thoughts.

"I really need to stop jumping to conclusions and judging things out of hoof. I'd thought I'd learned my lesson when I first met Zecora. And why am I so nervous about this? I've faced beings like Discord, and I wasn't this nervous." Twilight mentally berated/psyched herself up, letting out an annoyed snort.

With a determined glare, she marched her way right up to the door and pushed it open... quite a bit harder than she meant to. The door swung open fast and hard before slamming into the wall with a loud bang, drawing every pair of eyes inside the building toward it and by extension the now extremely nervous and quite sheepish prodigy of Celestia standing in the doorway.

"Heh, sorry. Didn't expect it to be that easy." She said while rubbing the back of her head in embarrassment. There was a grunt of understanding from some of the pub goers and the gazes went back to whatever they were doing before the dramatic door opening.

Letting out a small sigh of relief Twilight slowly made her way over to the bar while taking in as much of the pub as possible. It wasn't the darkly lit, slightly dirty, gritty place where everypony had a knife and every other table was a fight waiting to break out like the novels she'd read. It was dim lighting, yes, but not overly so giving it that evening relaxation vibe that one gets when at home.

The tables and booths looked quite clean, the bar was orderly and well stocked with multiple brands and bottles of different drinks, there were even a few walls taps. Overall, the place had a cool and calm feeling to it that help ease Twilight's nerves a bit.

Not really sure where to sit she noticed a lone mare sitting at the bar. Twilight made note of how all the others in the pub had at least another pony to talk to if not a few more. So, seeing somepony who might like some company she quickly made her way over and sat down on the bar stool next to the mare.

As she was sitting down, she picked up a few more details about the mare next to her. Her fur was a soft, cream color and her mane and tail were a very dark brown that one might have mistaken it for black. Twilight also noticed her cutie mark was a pony face with a massive smile that reminded her of Pinkie with one her near face-splitting smiles.

The mare turning towards her quickly pulled her from her observations as her purple eyes met soft gold.

"Any reason you sat next to me?" The mare asked, though her voice was slightly muffled due to a medical mask he was wearing over her mouth and nose.

Even though she had the best intentions Twilight still felt like a filly who got caught with her hoof in the cookie jar.

"W-well I saw that everypony else here had somepony else to talk to, if not a group." She explained gaining more and more confidence as she went on.

"Then I saw that you were sitting all alone here and thought you wouldn't mind some company and here we are." Twilight gave her best smile, hoping she would be able to make a new friend right away. The silence that passed between them was defining and ate away at Twilight's confidence steadily.

"Did I do it wrong? Was I too pushy? OH NO! She's going to hate me now! Twilight's thoughts raced a mile a second. She opened her mouth to apologize her coming on too strong but was cut off by the mare chuckling.

"Well, that was kind of you, thanks. I do hate to drink alone so I wouldn't mind the company." The mare's eyes closed and curved upwards in a kind of eye-smile, making Twilight feel a world's weight of worry lift from her shoulders. She sent a warm smile back at her new friend.

"I'm glad. I'm Twilight sparkle by the way." She said holding a hoof out towards the mare. The mare thumped her own against Twilights in greeting.

"Split Mane, nice to meet ya Twilight." They both relaxed against the bar and Split jerked her head in the direction of the wall of drinks.

"What ya planning on drinking?" She asked. Twilight scanned the rows and rows of bottles with an unsure look plastered on her face. She'd had drinks before, sure, but she'd never gone out drinking, so she wasn't sure what was good or not. Not wanting to look silly she decided on what to do.

"Hmmm, I think I'll keep it simple and have what you're drinking." She said as she waved a hoof in the air and flagged down the bartender. Split eyebrow cocked upward at that, and amusement sparkled in her eyes.

"You sure about that? This is some good stuff here and I'm not sure a lightweight like you can handle it." She teased the purple unicorn. Twilight, not understanding what Split meant, channeled a bit of her inner Rainbow dash.

"I'll have you know I'm a respectable weight for my height and age. And I've drunk before so I'll be just fine." She said firmly right before the Bartender set her drink down in front of her. Split had to hold in her laughter as her new friend tossed back the drink in one swallow.

"Oh this is going to be a fun night with her around." She thought happily as she watched Twilight's cheeks turn a nice rosy red as the alcohol hit her hard. It would be a fun night, she was certain of it.

"... And then Fluttershy just trots along this massive dragon's snout like she owns it and starts scolding him like a naughty foal." Twilight was regaling her new friend Split about the dragon incident with her friends. Split had a decent pile of napkins near her from wiping away her tears of laughter.

"After she's done with her 'Mama bear' moment the dragons start bawling like a baby. I will admit I was a bit jealous of her at that moment. She was able to make the dragons leave while the rest of us weren't able to do anything about it." Twilight sighed with a smile as she took a swig from her drink.

Split's laughter died down to chuckles as she got it under control.

"Dang Twilight, these adventures you guys get tangled up are a riot. You should consider writing these down and publishing these as a series, you'd make millions. They'd be like the next Daring do series" Twilight giggled at that, drinking with friends was fun.

Split couldn't help but smile at this mare she'd befriended tonight. She'd been perfectly content to spend the night drinking alone and here comes this complete stranger that just plops down next to her and offers to keep her company. And what company she was. She was right that Twilight was a lightweight. They'd been here for a few hours, and she was on her sixth drink and had a pleasant buzz, but Twilight had only just started her third and looked like she'd have trouble walking in a straight line.

Her fun musings were cut short by a new voice joining their conversation.

"What's a beauty like yourself doing in a dump like this?" A stallion said as he saddled up to Splits right side, leaning on the bar. She gave an internal scream of anger as this was the same stallion that'd hit on her in the last two bars she'd gone to. Not only was it creepy, but it was also getting really old, really fast. He just wouldn't take a hint.

"Look..." Her eyes turned flinty, and her glare could have melted stone, "I've told you this the last two times you asked me, I'm not interested. I've tried to be nice but you don't seem to get the hint so I'll just say it clearly so even you can understand. Buck off." The last part of the sentence sounded quite a bit like the growl of a large animal.

Twilight, while she was drunk, had to agree with her new friend. If she told him no more than once and he didn't listen, he had a problem.

"Hey, when a mare says no, it means no," Twilight said, barely holding back slurring her words. The stallion ignored Twilight completely.

"Oh, come on sexy, give me a chance and you'll see I'm worth your time." The colt just didn't seem to get the hint. Now even Twilight was mad but more from being ignored, though his thick headedness was very annoying too.

"Hey, when a mare says no, she means no," Twilight growled out again, her horn igniting with magic and yanking the stallion to facing her. What she didn't expect was a wing to collide with the left side of Split's face, knocking her off the stool and onto the floor.

Twilight blinked and her mind tried to process what her eyes were seeing. She now saw that the stallion in question was a Pegasus and it had been his wing that had hit Split in the head. So, her alcohol muddled mind came to the most logical conclusion she could at that time. Her face twisted into an ugly scowl and lifting the now very scared stallion off the floor, shaking him violently in the air.

"THAT'S MY FRIEND BUTTHOLE!" Twilight screamed and without a second thought sent him careening through the solid brick wall of the pub. And the one after that. And the one after that. (Later she would find out he'd gone through no less than six walls and was embedded into the seventh. She never felt sorry for it though, just embarrassed.) Glaring at the new 'Twilight made' door in the pub for a few seconds she snorted and stumbled over to where Split sat wide eyes on the floor, her mask hanging on by just a single ear.

As Twilight leaned down to see if Split was okay, she saw a rather large gash along her right cheek, almost to her ear. Twilight's brain, filled with alcohol and pumped with adrenaline saw it and went into full panic mode.

"SPILT! oh no, don't worry, I'll get you to the hospital and we'll get this fixed. I promise I'll make this better." Twilight picked the extremely confused mare up off the floor in her telekinesis and rushed out the door barely staying upright all the way. The cold night air snapped Split out of whatever funk she was in, and she tried to get Twilight's attention.

"Twilight I..."

"Don't worry Split, I'll make sure the medical bills are paid for. Better yet, I'll make sure that Stallion pays for them."

"Twilight!"

"If I ever see that colt again, I'm going to shove my hoof so far up is rear he'll be eating from it!" Twilight growled and Split could have sworn she saw them ignite like a fire.

"TWILIGHT!" Split screamed making said mare stumble and trip as her attention was torn from her plans of pain. Luckily Twilight's magic didn't sputter out, so Split didn't take a tumble with her.

"What Spilt?! We need to get you to the hospital." Twilight complained from the ground, which oddly enough she found was surprisingly comfortable. Split just sighed and wiggled in the air.

"You can put me down Twilight, I'm not injured." Split said making Twilight blink in confusion.

"But I saw the huge cut he gave you on your cheek! How is that not injured?" Twilight asked, genuinely confused though she didn't let Split down yet which Split was a bit annoyed by.

"I was born like this Twilight, now please let me down so we can go our separate ways." Twilight may have been drunk but could hear the anger in Split's voice mixed with a deep sadness.

"Why would we go separate ways? That stallion was a jerk, sure, but that shouldn't ruin the night." Twilight still hadn't let Split down and she was now becoming visibly angry.

"Just put me down so I can leave Twilight. Your fun to be around but no one sticks around for seconds with me, ever. So, it's best to just get it over with quickly and be done with it." The bitter anger in her voice only made Twilight more worried for her than anything else.

"I'm your friend Split, why would I just up and leave you?" That seemed to be the trigger that made Split explode in anger.
She opened her mouth and the edges of her lips kept going farther and farther back. Opening her mouth wide enough that it could engulf the entire front half of a pony and was filled with quite a few pointy teeth she roared in anger at Twilight. A wide-eyed Twilight just stood there as her mane flapped like a flag from the force of Splits roar.

Splits roar tapered off and she growled at Twilight, tears threatening to sill out from the edges of her eyes.

"Would you really be friends with a monster like me, Twilight? " Splits voice was quiet but in the dead silence of the empty street, it may as well have been a shout. Twilight blinked a few times to wet her eyes... then coughed as she waved a hoof in front of her nose.

"You didn't brush your teeth today, did you?" She asked. Split jaw hit the ground in shock, literally. Twilight just stuck her head into Split's mouth to see for herself if she had. Split was in such shock she couldn't react properly to somepony just shoving their head in her mouth.

"Nope." Twilight's voice echoed as she drew her head back, a small giggle escaping her. Split snapped out of her shock. Her mouth snapped shut and she just stared at Twilight in confusion. Trying her best to form questions that made some sort of sense for this situation.

"W-why?" Was the only word she was able to stutter out. Twilight just giggled at her and pulled her into a warm hug, her magic releasing her as she held her.

"You really think that being different would make me want to be your friend any less? That's just silly talk." Split was actually shocked. Everypony she'd met, every... single...one had abandoned her after they had found out what she was. But here was this drunken mare, hugging her, giggling and calling her a friend. Even after she should have been running for the hills screaming her head off from Splits temper tantrum, she just made a comment about her having bad breath.

The craziness of the situation just shattered the walls built up from being rejected over and over again in one fell swoop. After hesitating only once Split wrapped her hooves around Twilight and hugged her back.

"I do not." Split mumbled into Twilight neck after a few minutes of the hug making Twilight blink in confusion and pull away.

"Huh?" she asked. Split couldn't help a small smile forming, well small for Split was a big grin for normal ponies.

"We've been drinking for most of the night, so I do not have bad breath." She glared at Twilight but with no heat behind it. Twilight just giggled. Split was still a bit in shock at being excepted just like that, so she needed to make sure it was real.

"So, me being... well, like this..." She motioned to the large gashes on her cheeks, now known to be lips. "Really doesn't bother you?" She wasn't truly convinced that it wasn't the alcohol telling her that. Something in her voice must have tipped Twilight off because the stern look, she sent Split made her gulp.

"Buck no. You're nice and fun to talk to, I don't care if you had three heads, five legs and only one eye, I'd still be friends with you." Twilight said with a look of complete seriousness on her face that soothed Split's nerves. Twilight then gave a bright smile.

"Besides, I've got another friend that can smile that big. If I didn't already know she had lips and cheeks I'd have thought, you two would have been related in some way with how she eats." She explained through snickers. Split cocked an eyebrow interest but lost that train of thought as she was once again lifted off the ground by Twilight's magic.

"Well since that stallion ruined that last pub for us lets go find another one! I want another one of those drink with the little umbrellas!" She yelled as she galloped/stumbled down the street with Split floating behind her. Split just laughed. Even though she knew this might end badly, she was going to see this through to the end. It was too interesting not to.

The Aftermask

Twilight woke with a hiss of pain as a beam of sunlight tried to drive through her eyes like a stake of molten steel.

"Ow ow ow, Celestia, please turn the sun down!" She hissed as she buried her head under the pillow to try and calm the war drum beating in her skull. Twilight swore she heard a giggle that sounded like her mentor but she couldn't be sure with her head trying to implode.

"Well, look who's awake." Spike's voice said from the side of her bed, making her body flinch at the volume.

"Please keep it down Spike, my head feels like it's in a vice right now." She grumbled, only to get a chuckle from Spike in response.

"Well, it just goes to show that you shouldn't bar hop more than once, let alone multiple times in one night," Spike said, making Twilight's gut to twist in worry. Peeking out from under the pillow she noticed a cup of water on the nightstand with a potion bottle next to it.

"It's a hangover potion. It's not a cure but it will take off the edge so you can get through the day without feeling like your eyeballs are gonna pop like overripe grapes." He barely finished his sentence before he watched a purple blur grab the potion and disappear under the covers of the bed again.

After a few moments, Spike heard a sigh of relief and Twilight emerged from under the covers. She still squinted through the light but she didn't feel as much pain this time. Spike offered her the cup of water and Twilight gulped it down greedily, her throat feeling as dry as a dessert. After she set the cup down she took a deep breath to center herself before she spoke.

"What happened last night Spike? I remember chunks and pieces of it but it's all jumbled at the moment." She could remember making a new friend and enjoying the night with them but she also remembered something about whipped cream, a rubber chicken and a can of mushroom soup so she couldn't be too sure what was real or not.

Spike just shook his head and waved his claw for her to follow him.

"Breakfast first, then we can get into explanations. A few will probably be answered even before you sit at the table." He said as he walked through the door and down the stairs to the dining/kitchen room. Twilight followed him slightly confused until she was standing in the doorway and could only stare in a mix of shock and morbid amazement.

Her new friend, Split Mane, was sitting at the table looking very nervous with a stack of pancakes nearly twice the size of a ponies head fully in her mouth. Twilight blinked but Spike spoke before she could.

"You just couldn't wait?" He asked the guilty looking mare. Even with his back turned to her Twilight could imagine the cocked eyebrow and the look of 'are you serious' he was giving her. Well for Split's next trick Twilight watched said mare swallow the entire stack of pancakes whole. Her academic mind was going into maximum overdrive trying to figure out how Split's throat was able to take something so big and not make her choke.

Spike just sigh in defeat.

"I'll start on the next batch." He moved toward the kitchen stove but not before leveling a glare at Split that made the mare break out in a nervous sweat.

"And you will wait for everyone this time missy." He pointed two claws at his eyes before pointing at her. She nodded her head rapidly in understanding. Twilight couldn't help it as a snicker escaped her. The scene of small Spike scolding a mare into obeying when said mare could no doubt swallow him in one gulp was just too crazy not to laugh at.

"Glad to know you can laugh at my misery." Split glared at Twilight but it only made Twilight snicker harder.

"You should have waited then." She said before walking into the room and sitting at the table with a grumbling Split. Seeing Split swallow the stack of pancakes helped some of the jumbled memories click into place and she couldn't help but smile to herself as she remembered the incident between them in the street.

Remembering that made Twilight serious about something.

"Hey, Split?" She asked getting a hum fro,m split letting her know she'd been heard.

"I know you're not a pony, or at least not fully and I'm curious as to where your... unique features come from." The question was implied and Split made to speak but Spike's voice made her pause as he walked up to the table and placed several plates of fresh pancakes down.

"She's a Kuchisake Mare which translates to Splitfaced Mare, named obviously for the larger than average mouth they possess which is used to catch and quickly swallow their prey. Her species is somewhat related to the Hone Mare and the Taka Mare but nopony's certain if or when the lines split and divided or if they were separate species all along." Spike stated, rattling off facts like a living encyclopedia.

A pin hitting the floor would have sounded like a sonic rainboom with the levels of silence as Twilight and Split goggled at Spike in shock while he just cocked his head to the side in confusion.

"What?" He asked, not seeing how what he told them had opened up a massive can of worms. The one who informed him of this didn't help matters much either.

"Spike you just told them something that you shouldn't have known and you expect them to just accept that at face value?" A small voice said, drawing all eyes toward the center of the table. Standing there, not much higher then a hoof is wide, was a mix of a spider and a mare. Her mare-like upper body had dark green fur and her mane was a dark pink with her eyes a bright blue. Her lower spider-like body was, well, like a spider, with eight legs and a large abdomen all a slightly shiny black color, though her pedipalps looked similar to a pony's back hooves. The only other color was a patch of bright orange on the top of her abdomen which was vaguely shaped like a web.

Realizing his mistake Spike smiled sheepishly.

"You're right Nim, I guess I'm just so used learning and spouting off facts about yokai and such I just didn't think twice." The little arachnid nodded her head but jumped in shock the massive, sparkling eyes of Split seemed to appears right next to her. She found it quite unnerving how the mare was staring at her.

"Soooooo cuuuuuuuute!" Split squealed and made to scoop the little spider mare up in her hooves if they weren't suddenly held against the table by a pair of wooden hooves.

"We will not allow a ruffian such as your self to lay a hoof on our adorable little Nimmy." A head and body followed the hooves from the table top making Split's eyes go wide as saucers and Spike to face claw, hard. Nopony noticed the strands and chinks of Twilight's mane start to split and spring up in odd places or how her eyes were darting back and forth between everypony in the room.

The new pony's body looked like a carved piece of wood, only able to move freely and fluidly. Her eyes though were a deep sap green.

"Trim, I've asked you quite a few times to not use the furniture and only use the floor and walls for manifestation, Please don't make me ask you again," Spike asked, his eyes narrowing at the wooden mare. A tinge if green appeared on her cheeks and her upper body sank back into the table re-appearing from the floor opposite of Spike at the table.

"Now that we're all here, I'll get on with introductions," Spike said, still not seeing how close Twilight was to a nervous breakdown. Holding out his hand the small spider mare climbed onto it and waved at everybody at the table.

"This cute little lady's name is Nimble Thread, though we all just call her Nim for short. She's a rare breed of mini Jorōgumo, though her race does not deserve all the negative rumors it's gotten over the years." Spike said and Nim sighed heavily.

"A few bad apples ruin the bushel." She said getting a gentle nudge from Spikes' thumb and smiling at him in thanks for the small comfort. She crawled up his arm and rested on his right shoulder. He gestured to the wooden mare across the table from him.

"This here is Trim, she is similar to what is known as a Furutsubaki no rei, or in laypony terms, a tree spirit. She's the spirit of this amazing tree me and Twilight call home." Spike said.

"That's 'Twilight and me' Spike, proper grammar is important when speaking to others." She corrected only getting a deadpan look from Spike.

"And she's a stickler for perfection, so Twilight, you and her should get along really well." Spike quipped with a smirk turning his head to look at his sister. Only now did he notice that her mane was sticking up in multiple directions, her pupils were pinpricks and he could tell she was about to lose it.

He quickly got up to try and calm her down but he never made it in time.

"Hey, Twilight look! You and I made the morning paper!" Split Shouted, darting to Twilight's side with a grin that would make Pinkie's look tiny in comparison and shoved the morning Ponyville Press in front of her. Twilight looked at the big, bold print on the front page.

'Crazy drunken unicorn goes on a rampage through Ponyville causing multiple injuries and tens of thousands of bits in damage!" Under the heading was a color picture of Twilight standing in front of what was left of a building, yelling as she threw a can of mushroom soup at one of the town guards, while she was wearing a rubber chicken on her head with a full whipped cream beard that reached to her knees. There was even a little speech bubble next to her head to let her know that she had said. It read 'I'm Star-Swirl the Bucking Breaded! Not SANTA! YOU GOLDEN TURD!' and in the background was Split, laughing herself to death on the ground.

it was all her brain could take. She watched as it wished her luck and got ran out of town. Suddenly her mane snapped back into place, her eyes became normal and she smiled at Spike, making him very nervous and double scared.

"I'm so glad I have something soft underneath me." She said calmly, confusing everypony at the table until her head fell hard into her stack of pancakes from TMI.