“Celestia. Damned. Bitches!” Caramel shouted as he stormed through the bedroom he’d given Shining for the weekend. “I swear I’ll… I’ll… do something! And you! I should deck you!”

Shining Armor lifted up his hands at his enraged friend, looking all innocent. “How was I supposed to know? All I remember is you vanishing up the stairs with Silver Blossom! I thought you were next door!”

“Yeah, she led me to a damn bed. Then she told me to ‘rest a bit’ before they came for me!” Caramel snapped. “One problem. Nopony ever came! Especially me!”

“I didn’t know!”

“I bet you enjoyed yourself though!” Caramel growled, his hands in fists. “Probably had them both playing with you at one point as you stuffed one, then the other!”

“Well…”

The awkward look on Shining’s face said it all. Caramel roared in rage and kicked Shining’s overnight rolling bag as hard as he could. It crashed into the side of the dresser and popped open, sending clothes, toiletries and a few books flying.

“Hey, come on!” Shining jumped to his feet. “I told you, I didn’t know! I would have kicked them out of bed if I knew they were going to blueball you!”

Caramel let out a low, agonizing sigh as he slumped down the wall. Morning light filled the upstairs bedroom in his little condo by the bank. He honestly didn’t remember much from last night save for the offer and Silver Blossom’s backstab. The next thing he knew, Shining was helping him back to his place. They’d both passed out for a few more hours before Caramel had put the pieces together, stormed up here and ripped into Shining.

“It’s not your fault,” Caramel muttered, burying his face in his arms. “The one time of year where everypony can get somepony… and I’ve got nothing. I’m just sick of it.”

“Cara…”

Caramel looked up and rubbed his eyes. “No, don’t you get it? I need to get over it. Just move on and…” He hesitated and cocked his head. “Shining? What is that?”

“What?”

“That!” Caramel pointed at a small black tome under the writing desk. “The book with all the squiggly bits on the cover and spine.”

Shining frowned. “Squiggly bits?”

He walked over and bend down to pick it up, then turned it over in his hands. “I have no idea.”

Caramel pushed himself to his feet. “It was in your bag.”

“But I didn’t pack this…” Shining muttered as he opened the cover. A small folded sheet of paper to fell out. He picked it up and unfolded it.

“Well? What’s it say?”

Shining groaned and rubbed the bridge of his muzzle. “That my wife loves to screw with me.”

“What is it?” Caramel demanded. “Out with it!”

“Look, buddy…” Shining blushed, not meeting his eyes. “Okay, cards on the table. I may have told Cadance about your little problem.”

“And?” Caramel stared at him. “You make it sound like a bad thing. You’re married to the Princess of Love! I mean… who better to help, right? Only reason I didn’t contact her was… well, she’s a freaking Princess. More important things to do than help a stallion like me? Now, what did she say?”

“Well, she said that she’d ‘take care of a few things.’” He held up the book, still blushing. “I think this is one of those things.”

“You’re killing me here, Shining. What’s in the damn book?”

“Lust spells, mostly…” Shining replied as he flipped through the book. “Even a few… enhancement spells, those most of those are focused on mares…”

“There’s more. I can see it on your face!”

“She wrote that I should look at page fifty-three if ‘I feel like sharing,’” he whispered.

Caramel stared at him expectantly. “Look, either you do it or I do it. Princess of Love, remember?”

Shining groaned, but flipped to the suggested page. He took one look at the text and yelped, throwing the book away from him.

“No way in Tartarus,” he spat, taking several steps back. “Nope! Not happening!”

Caramel wasn’t about to let this chance slip away. The book had landed on the writing desk. He jumped for it.

“Wait, don’t!” Shining cried.

But Caramel was already reading the title. Then, he read the description, the details and the side effects. He took it all in within seconds. His heart hammered in his chest and his mouth felt dry as he processed it all.

He turned and looked at Shining.

“You owe me for last night.”

“How?” Shining growled, his face darkening as he crossed his arms over his annoying chiseled chest. “I didn’t ask those girls to ditch you!”

“It was your idea!”

“You agreed!”

“I was mostly drunk!”

“You were desperate!”

“Dammit, Shining!” Caramel shouted, slamming his foot down. “You got any better ideas?!”

Silence stretched in the room. Shining broke first.

“No.” Shining rubbed his face with his hands and groaned again. “Dammit, Cadance…”

“Didn’t you try everything to get a mare to look at me?” Caramel raised an eyebrow.

“Yes.”

“And every one of them showed zero interest. Every. Last. One.”

“Yes,” Shining muttered, looking thoroughly defeated.

“And your final suggestion got you laid at least twice… while I fell asleep alone in a bed next door.”

Shining’s ears wilted. “That’s not damn fair, Cara.”

Caramel rolled his eyes. “All the details are laid out right here, Shining! The catches, the components, all of it! All we need to do is follow the guidelines and we’ll be fine.”

“You have to know it there’s always a catch,” Shining insisted, his voice a little desperate. “Ask my sister.”

“Twilight would triple-check the spell before eagerly throwing herself into it. And your wife is as detail-oriented as your sister!” Caramel shot back. “She wouldn’t have suggested it if it wouldn’t work!”

“You realize what you’re asking, right?” Shining snorted. “Depending on how far it goes, I’ll have to lock myself up in your house until you’re back, just as a precaution. And every time you manage to pull it off—because we both know you’re going for multiple scores—it’ll take a little more?”

Caramel nodded. “And when you get back, all you need to do is be able to cast the spell. It just borrows ‘masculine energy,’ Shining. That’s it. No matter what, I’m never going to pass the point where the spell does anything serious to you. Come on. Give me three days to be you. Please?”

“Agh!” Shining slowly stomped over and glared down at the book. “I’m going to kill Cadance.”

“If this works, I get to kiss her first.”

“Watch it. That’s still my wife.”

“Until she really gets her herd going. Then you have to share.”

“You’re not convincing me to help you, you know.”

Caramel stared down at the arcane patterns and ritual diagrams. “Please?”

“It won’t be you that they want, Caramel,” Shining said quietly. “It’ll be the body.”

“After last night, I don’t care anymore.”

“This is such a bad idea.” Shining took one last deep breath before he finally broke. “Sundown. Tonight. And Celestia help you if you aren’t back in three days.”

“You have my word that I’ll be here. No matter what.”

“You’d better keep that promise.” Shining stared down at the book. “Okay. Sundown. Now, get out so I can study this spell… or maybe find a way to talk you out of this insanity.”

“Not gonna happen. Happy studying, Shining,” Caramel said with a smile.

“Get out,” he groused, but Caramel caught a hint of a smirk on his friend’s face.

Maybe this would work after all.

Author's Note

Heeee! I'm sure nothing could possibly go wrong, right~?

Nothing AT ALL!

Lemme know about errors in PMs so I can fix 'em! :3