The Shroomlock Holmes of Monster Mares

by Amereep

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Mystery, Comedy, Sex, Twilight Sparkle, Alternate Universe
Length: 8767

A monster mare mystery story. Featuring a pony that's a mushroom.

Things are not always what they seem to be. Take for example, monster mares; they can look like beasts ready to gobble you up, but they can be sweet, caring, and appealing. This lesson will be key when Truffles, the mushroom mare, is given a case where she must figure out who among five characters is a thief. Is it the Harpy, the Frog, the Salamander, the Piñata, or The Princess of Friendship?

This is meant to be a story similar to one you may see with 'hard-boiled' detectives, but it's meant to be a lot more lighthearted, humorous, ........and have a lot of monster mares.

This story will be in first person, but be prepared for inner-monologues that speak in past tense.

Made for 'The 1st Monster Mare Story Contest (Unpopular Monsters)' where I was given 8000 words to work with. I got 2nd place in it...... woot! Which got me the cover art made by Grim_Grin.

Published 2019-06-10 15:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-06-10 15:10:01 UTC

The Case

The land of Gaia, a million different kinds of races can be found here, and the number of new species continue to rise everyday. The prominent ones are hippopomorphic, not the ones relating to those heavy over-weighted mammals, but to the ones relating to ponies. Moths, Liches, even soda bottles have appeared resembling ponies. We sometimes call them monsters, but they're ponies just like any other. Gaia is known for giving birth to new life in almost any form, so it's essential when you're there to keep an open mind, which just so happens to be a specialty of mine.

To me, I see life as a board and everything in it a puzzle piece, shaped through experience and choices we make to fit perfectly together to form a picture. It's because of this observing viewpoint that led me to decide on becoming a detective. It seemed simple, I often try to make sense of things naturally, it could be challenging, and the euphoric feeling of realization was intoxicating. So I decided one day to start a business and give this sleuthing a shot.

Those first few months were the hardest, nocreature wanted my assistance. I could understand why, one look at me told them that I wasn't up for the job. But appearances may be deceiving, and my first case was overflowing with this lesson.

It was another uneventful day in the office. The rain was falling, midnight was approaching, and I was reading a story, all I can remember of it was that the structure was sloppily paced due to what I assume were limitations. Suddenly a smoke cloud came at me from nowhere and reshaping itself into a scroll before my eyes. It was addressed to me, asking for my assistance in a diplomatic matter and displaying a map for me to follow.

Strange? Obviously. Untrustworthy? Adoy. Desperate? We both were.

Somecreature wanted me for a diplomatic issue? Me, a detective that doesn't even have any cases under her belt, is needed for diplomatic issues? It didn't make sense, but I was desperate for work. So I followed the map like the gullible rookie I was and was lead to the unsettling fact that I was standing at the doors of a large cabin in the woods. Barren of anycreature about in this pouring weather, the sense of danger was emitting itself in the air.

*Knock knock*

My first case, this mysterious client, the isolated area. I should've been worried out of my wits as I stood there. But fear is not something you tend to worry about when you're my species.

The door opens and the client inside approaches, seeing a vanilla furred mare standing out in the rain, wearing a gingerbread knobbed mushroom cap. A sound of a sniffle came from the mare standing outside, having no regards of hiding the runny nose. "Did somemonster call for a detective?"

This poor example of her species is actually me, Truffles. I'm a Tubequine, a mushroom pony. Our kind tend to be lethargic, unenthused, and relaxed. Many creatures are misled by our expressions and believe that these are the only emotions we have, but we're capable of others, they're just expressed very subtly.

A good example of this would be from that sniffle I made. If you looked at me, you might assume that I got a cold from the rain since I don't have any physical outbreaks, but you'd be wrong. I should have pinkeye, some swollen features, and red pigmentation. Because I'm ironically allergic to my own spores.

"A....AA......ACHOO!" A cloud of spores spray out from my cap and gently float to the floor. I rub my nose, "Scuse me."

I'm a bit different from my kind, an oddball amongst the cluster of Tubequines as it were. Our kind usually doesn't have a problem with our own pollen, but unfortunately, I do. I'll spare you of all the nasal accent.

I tilt my head up and a few more spores from my cap come floating down. The cotton white bacteria matched the color of the mane that curled around the sides of my head like a second cap. The dreary maple eyes I displayed show a unique design of a seven-pointed celtic knot on each of them. The corners of the knot sharpened as I winced, making the center that made up my pupil smaller. I brush the tiny mushrooms that grew along the crest of my mane to shake some of the rain out. I shook the plot that held my cutie mark of a mushroom capped magnifying glass to flick the rain from my tail before I ask again, "You sent me the letter, right? Asking for a detective?"

"That's correct," she replies with an ambivalent expression on her face. "Please come in."

"Thank you. Sorry for the spores that might drop from my cap."

"Then I should act accordingly." She closes the door with her lavender wing and lights up her horn with a raspberry aura glow, causing a dustpan and broom in the corner to flash the same color for a brief second. Her horn dimmed down, but the broom and dustpan move on their own and sweeps up the spores that had fallen. "I placed a spell on them to follow you and pick up any spores you may drop."

The mare that was displaying her skills was named Twilight Sparkle. A princess that reigned over a land found in the far east known as Equestria. It's understandable, she's an alicorn, they tend to possess powerful magic spells that are unheard of in Gaia.

I knew little of her kind, but the dame herself was another story. For the past few months, she's been forming diplomatic relationships with other lands in the name of friendship. A noble effort, but trying that with Gaia would be a pretty gutsy challenge.

We have a ruler for almost every kind of creature here, all following a chain-of-command befitting to their nature. And three of the most powerful ones were inside, staring me down with a grumpy look on their face from sides of the room; the stiff harpy on the left, the loose salamander on the right, and the awkward frog on the ceiling.

I take a quick glance around the area. The round table and stools leave the impression that this is a conference hall. "So what happened here?"

The harpy, salamander, and frog point a talon, hoof, and digit at each other, "SHE STOLE MY HEIRLOOM!" They yell in unison.

"Chick please," The harpy scuffed at the salamander's accusation, "Frogs are masters at stealing, always using those ninja skills of theirs to steal from others."

"Ignorant pheasant," The frog insulted as her sticky digits clung to the ceiling, "That vulgar gecko is the only one of us here that's brash enough to do something like this."

"Why would I ever want a stinky nest and a rotting lily pad for?" The salamander roared, "That clever harpy swiped them. It's practically in their name that they're swift robbers."

To many, it would've looked like they were acting like foals. To me, it looked like a bomb that could take out all of Gaia if things got ugly. These three were one of the most notorious races you could find around here. Each of them have been at each other's throats for years with some reason or another, so many have heard about the names of the ferocious leaders; Tweety, Winky, and Ribbon.

Tweety is an aegean-furred and amber-maned Avine, a subspecies of harpies. Her species was what you would assume one would be; forelegs being wings, hindlegs being pheasant, walking around like a chicken, that sort of stuff. There are some pony features like their soft round muzzles, but they're considered more bird than mare. They've been known to give high pitched screams that could easily shatter glass, but they're intelligent strategic at assaults and tactics have kept them from using screeches over the years.

Winky is camouflaged in green and brown oily skin, appropriate for a Croakony, a mare that's part frog. They usually sit on their plots, but the little leather horns on its body tell that they mean business. Other than the eyes and muzzles of a pony's, they're basically a frog with sticky digits that allow them to climb surfaces such as walls and ceilings. They're known for being patient, observant, and crafty, all key features that lead many into believing that they can hypnotize others.

Lastly, Ribbon is a crimson semi-scaled salamander like mare, also known as a Igniscaud. Her kind is known for being rowdy, aggressive, and have a strong drive to....ahem.....'explore' other cultures. They have four-toed hooves with sharp talons as their nails, but what's particularly unique about this species is that they have a prehensile reptilian tail, which can light a stream of fire that burns from the base up to the tip. They can be very fierce and could go completely wild into a frenzy, depending on how intense their passion can get.

Their arguing continued, it was now up to Twilight to fill me in on the situation. Yet as I turned to her, I noticed that another pony in the room was watching the fighting with a worried look upon her face. It was vibrant in various colors, covered in papier-mâché fur, and the size of any mare found in the room. I had never met a monster mare that was a piñata before, but there were other matters to focus on for now.

"Could you tell me the situation?" I asked the lavender pony that summoned me.

"Well as you can see," Twilight began before pointing at the three creatures arguing, "Those three have had it out for each other for who knows how long. For a while now, I've been trying to help them work it out," She deadpans them, "But they're stubborn. I considered a solution and suggested that they come to terms with one another in a sitdown. They agreed to meet, but I also suggest that each of them to bring something important to their culture along to show as a sign of good faith and have it out in the open during the conference to show trust in the other."

"I brought Celestia's Crown, Tweety had Marahute's Nest, Winky's was Jeremiah's Lily Pad, and Ribbon displayed Marae's Pure Pearl. We all placed them on the center of the conference table over there and talked through the issues. We were in it for hours," Twilight rubbed her forehead as she recalls the stressful time, "And we weren't getting anywhere. Considering this, I suggested that we take a break and have some of the confection I had planned for after the meeting. All five of us went to the next room to eat, which those three never left their sight off the other." She takes a deep breath through her nose and huffs it out, "But they never spoke a word to each other and just kept their guard up."

"During this time, the storm outside was getting rougher and eventually a lightning bolt knocked out the lights. When we could see again, the heirlooms were gone and we began playing the blame game." She ends it in a sarcastic tone. "So I thought maybe somecreature could help us out here and I sent a message to you."

"Did you sea.....ah.....CHOO! *Sniff* Look for them?"

"The very first thing we did, they're nowhere in the cabin."

"Nowhere, huh?" I tap my hoof to my chin as I scan the room. "............I've been meaning to ask, who's that?" I point to the piñata mare.

"Who? Frilly? She's the owner of the cabin. You see, the only way I got those three to meet up was to have the conference in a place where it would be neutral territory. I asked her a favor and she's been very generous at playing the part of a hostess for us."

"But back to the matter at hoof. Can you help us out?"

My instincts told me there was something fungi about all this, but I placed that feeling aside and acted accordingly.

For weeks, I pictured on how I should tackle a case whenever it happened. And I planned the following...

Hear the issue.

Evaluate the scene.

Interrogate the suspects.

And reveal the truth.

"Okay," I sniffled, "Could you set up a place where I can interrogate them one at a time?"

There was an unsettled look upon her face as she looked at the three leaders, "I'll think of something."

"In the meantime, I'm gonna view this area a little bit more."

"Please make it quick. I don't know how much more I can keep them from biting each other's heads off."

I leave the princess to her task as I scope the room of the conference and the table where the heirlooms were held. The table is round, smooth, and wide. One would have to climb on the table just to get them, but there's no scratch marks or smudges on the surface near the center. The surrounding wooden area didn't look much different; Spotless, dentless, and lacking any furniture other than the table and stools. No shelves, no rugs, no hanging frames.

Has this cabin ever been lived in?

I give a sniffle and see Frilly observing me. Since she's here, I decide to ask her some questions. "Miss Frilly, was it? Could you tell me a bit about the place?"

The piñata perked up, "Los peces de mantequilla realmente pueden bailar."

".....I don't understand."

"La luna ha brotado pepinillos."

I was finding no clues, I had a suspect that wasn't understandable, and I was going to interrogate leaders that held great power.

For this being my first case, I was neck deep in the dirt.

As to my request, Twilight set up an interrogation room in the same place where all the confections were at. And where everycreature was when the lights went out. Other that the food, tables, plates, cups, and so on. It was just as barren as the previous room. I questioned if Frilly even had a life with the lack of taste of any decorations around.

There, in the corner, was a table and two stools where the first of the three leaders was waiting for me.

Tweety was the first that I interrogated. Her sharp golden eyes profoundly studied me from across the table as she sat on the floor in the roosting position. She flapped her long lashes, revealing the soft red eyeshadow makeup she had on. Her slim figure told that she was trying to make herself look young and appealing, but her features suggested that she was somewhere between maturity and middle-age. The impression I was getting from her was that she's a native with a fashion sense. I noticed that she subtly shifted her position the moment I approached, trying not to make it noticeable.

The harpy appeared like she would be a tough egg to crack, so I assumed that being stern would be the best way to start.

I strike an assertive glare as I slam a hoof on the table, "Alright Tweety, start singing."

She gives a puzzled look before jerking her head to review the room. "You mean......." Her face suddenly lights up, "This is an audition!!!!"

Now the puzzle look was on my face, "N.....no. This is an interrogation."

"OH! That's right." She shifts again, "Don't trick me like that."

I ponder if this was an act, "......why don't we start by having you explain why you think Winky is the thief."

"Because her kind are always stealing from us. Coming over to Avine territory, pulling a fast one over us, and snatching away our bugs."

"Bugs?"

"Yeah, many Avines are trying to lay eggs, so we need all the protein we can get to produce them." She twists her body.

"........I'm guessing that you're also having one."

Her eyes dart my gaze, "What gave it away."

"You've been shifting, so I'm assuming you're producing one."

"It'll take about a day before I lay it."

"Well I hope you and mister harpy the very best."

"Salamander."

"....scuse me?"

"The father is a salamander."

"................ACHOO!" I sneezed a cloud of spores to the ground for the broom and dustpan to sweep up.

"You too?" I rub my nose as she lifts up a wing and a few feathers come floating down, "I guess it's that time of the year."

I watch the feathers float to the floor, they settled in place. I look at the dustpan, it finished cleaning my spores. Viewing the settled feathers once more, I raised a brow before continuing. "What do you mean, 'the father is a salamander'?"

"Harpies are a female only race, so I had to get a guy from somewhere."

"But a salamander? Don't they hate harpies?"

"The gals do, but the guys love us. All we basically do is sing a song and they swoon over us."

"That's all, huh? No wonder those mares have it out for you guys." I give a heavy sniffle, "But let's focus on the Croakonies for now. Is getting those bugs the only reason you're having this peaceful sitdown with them?"

"That's what me and the rest of the other soon-to-be mothers want. As for the others, they want the conflict to stop so they can follow their dreams of becoming models, divas, or pop singers."

"So they want to be show birds. *Sniff* Speaking about the glamour life, what can you tell me about Twilight?"

Tweety looks around and leans in closer, "To be honest, she scares me. The fact that she can use magic makes me feel vulnerable, that I could fall under her influence without me even noticing."

"Can magic really do that?"

"I think so. She kinda reminds me of those frogs and the hypnotic effects they can pull on us, but she can pull it off where it becomes real."

"How so?"

"Well the other day, she used her magic to turn a pile of rocks into a giant harpy fountain within ten seconds."

"Transforming simple objects into something complex in seconds, hmm.... What can you tell me about Frilly?"

"Nothing much. She's very quiet, I hardly recall that she's in the same room with us half the time."

"....while we're on the issue of one's presence. Tell me, what did you do during the incident of the blackout? Did you try finding a light? Did you feel around? Heard anything? Just what happened when you were covered in darkness?"

"I went to sleep."

".................."

"Sorry tweetheart," She rubs the back of her head with embarrassment, "It's a natural instinct of ours. When our surroundings go dark, we tend to fall asleep."

"..................*Sniffle*"

Simple, dense, and gullible. Were these traits part of an act, or is she really a fool? Those were the thoughts that kept running through my head after the interrogation.

While she didn't shine much light on the incident, I wasn't left empty hoofed. I wasn't aware at the time, but something in that conversation would be the defining key that would help solve this mystery later.

Winky was the second one I interrogated. Her leather skin looked oily, but also looked a little flabby, suggesting she's middle aged. She was sitting on a stool like any normal pony would do, yet I did notice that her hind legs were scrunched up on the seat with her. She had her mane in a bun, with an accessory of a white lily-flower placed near her right pony ear.

There was a vibe about her that I just couldn't quite shake off. Something in the air felt misty, like this frog was emitting something in the form of vapor. The tangerine eyes even with my height weren't glaring at me, but I could feel a powerful presence behind them. They were like any regular mare's, but the cold stare she gave send me chills that shook me to the co....oh....AH-

"CHOO!!!" The broom and dustpan that shadowed me sweeps up my fallen spores.

"Allergies, dear?" Winky replied to my sneeze. The sound of her tone actually caught me off guard, it sounded tender for a mare of her stature.

"Yeah, it's been haunting me for awhile."

"You should try drinking some Ginger Root Tea," She says in a motherly tone, "That cures colds and allergies of all kinds."

......I understand what's happening, "Really? I wouldn't have guessed."

Winky smiles, "It's something my grandmother taught me when I was a filly."

"Is that so? Did she also teach you on how to mislead ponies as well?"

The Croakony's smile falters, "What do you mean?"

I take a long sniffle and begin my explanation. "When we first met, you were on the ceiling, suggesting that you're precautious because you would have a full scope of the room from that position. I heard from Tweety that you play mind-tricks, getting on my good side would really be helpful sense I'm the one that could convict you as the thief of the heirlooms. And the atmosphere also feels off, as if you're emitting bufotenine from your body to hypnotize my will for your benefits."

"........."

"Giving a 'psychedelic experience' won't faze me, Winky." I tap my mushroom cap, "After all, I'm a shroomhead. And putting on this act will only make you appear more guilty for the robbery."

It stays silent between us for a moment. A low croaking sound suddenly came from her. "........you're a sharp one."

"My cutie mark of a magnifying glass isn't just for show. I also heard that the Croakonies often steal from the Avines too."

"We have good reasons for it." She retorted, "All we steal is the bugs, nothing else. Croakonies tend to have big families, so we need a lot of food for the little hoppers to eat."

"That doesn't sound like a very strong reason. How many foals do you have?"

"Currently, I have eight."

"Okay. Granted, that's a lot, but that doesn't mean tha.....ah.....AH......."

"But the average family usually has thirty."

"ACHOO!!!!!!!" I lost control after hearing the number and the dustpan and broom sweep up a swarm of fallen spores. "THIRTY?!?! Have any Croakonies ever heard of the word 'condom'?"

"Croakonies tend to have over a dozen offsprings for each birthing, and we have large families because of it. We have a family to feed, and food can be hard to find around our parts, so we resort to stealing." She croaks again.

"Jumping plumbers, that's crazy. Now I know why you want this peace treaty. Do you steal from the Salamanders as well?"

"No, we want to have as little to do with them as possible. Salamanders are utterly vulgar. They're concupiscent, showing no shame in their erotic antics. Just imagine what would happen if our foals were influenced by their behavior."

"Yeah, I don't think the population could handle anymore babies."

"That's not what I meant." Winky corrects, "As a parent, you have to make sacrifices for your foals. A life of abstinence and chastity is what's required from the parent to raise their foal properly. It's already hard enough to protect them from the world's influence found in media, but those salamanders aren't helping much either."

"And stealing is any better?" I said bluntly.

She stays quiet with a harsh glare on me.

"I'll just move to my next question, since you're a little tongue tied at the moment." I told the frog. "What can you tell me about Twilight and Frilly?"

"That piñata? That mare is more harder to read than you are." She croaked again, "I'm uncertain if this is a trait found in her species, but her eyes seem emotionless, despite the way she acts. As for Twilight, I'm quite cautious of her. She's powerful with that magic of hers, which makes me want to avoid at making her an enemy. I probably shouldn't really worry about it sense she's very benevolent with us, but a good act could be hiding a wicked deception."

"You think she's plotting to backstab you?"

"I hope not."

I sniffle, keeping that thought in mind, "Now about the incident at the banquet when the lights went out. What were you doing?"

Winky stays silent, keeping her pony eyes locked with my keltic ones. "..............if I told you, will you keep it a secret from the others?"

"No promises."

She huffed, "You're aware that I'm a mother, and that we're having a famine problem back home. Well... when the lights went out, I took the opportunity to place as much food as I could on a napkin cloth, tie it up, and hid it for me to take home later for my pollywogs." Winky croaked again.

"Sounds sceptic."

"But it's true." She points to the buffet table, "You see that thing hanging underneath the table over there?"

I peered over, it's hardly noticeable, but I can see a small napkin sack dangling from the underside of the table top. It's hanging there with a butter knife jamming it to the wood.

I hear the sound of a croak again and turn to see that Winky has a hand around her stomach. "I would have no purpose to steal heirlooms, when there's food for me to take back home."

A sacrificing mother, but a cautious thief nonetheless. Was this planned out to trick me like she's known to do with the harpies, or is this the sincereful truth?

These were the questions that plagued me, but her thieving ways reminded me of something. That the best place to hide something, is usually right in plain sight.

Ribbon was the last one I questioned. Her appearance was a few years past her adolescence, youthful with a spark in every move she made. Other than the crimson tail and legs of a salamanders, she was similar to me by which we're more pony than we were our other half. Because of that, she had a cutie mark of a scimitar on her flank, depicting the fighting spirit that dwells inside her. She had a pink bow that tied the wild red mane on the back of her head, leaving the front half to partially cover her scarlet eyes. She appeared antsy, one of her hind legs kept bouncing as she kept giving me an irritated look at the frustration she's experiencing.

Her tail was lit up, so it was obvious that she was ready to put up a fight. I knew that if I wanted any answers from her, I would have to be assertive and dominant for control on this interrogation from the get-go.

I take a deep sniffle, "Alright, Ribbon. I'm going to ask you a few questions, and if you don't answer them truthfully, I'm going to have to get rough with you."

Ribbon didn't look threatened.

"I made the harpy chirp and the toad sweat, so I'm not afraid to make a salamander squeal."

She doesn't change her expression in the slightest as we kept our eyes locked.

"...well?" I ask in an authoritative voice, "What do you have to say about that?"

".............that is the worst pick-up line for casual sex I have ever heard."

I suddenly feel like any control I had was suddenly burnt to ashes, "I.....I'm not getting what you're implying."

"Oh come on." The Igniscaud shakes her head with little amusement, "Those bedroom eyes you're giving tell me what your hidden intentions are."

"These 'bedroom eyes' is the way I usually look."

"So you're usually frisky." She gives a sultry look, "Your plan is all becoming clear now. You. Me. Alone. In a room."

"And an audience outside that would hear us." I stated bluntly.

"And that's what'll make this scenario hot." Ribbon's tail burns brighter shortly after finishing her sentence.

I give a long groan, "Let's just focus on this case."

"Whatever you say, Bootylicious." Ribbon's tail fizzles out.

I give a huff as I cooled down as well. "So, tell me why you accuse Tweety for stealing the heirlooms?"

"Because she steals."

"............care to go into more detail on how you know this?"

"She stolen from us before."

".............would love to hear what she stole."

"I believe you already know what she stole, Thunder Thighs."

I roll my eyes, "So you're upset about them stealing your males."

"You bet your spores we are. Those mother cluckers must've seduced them through mind-control or something."

"Did it occurred to you that maybe they fell in love naturally?"

Ribbon gives a, 'are-you-serious' look. "You're not going to tell me that 90% of the male Igniscauds population has fallen in love with a bunch of birdbrain bimbos."

I rub my eyes at the fact that I'm currently in the middle of a love triangle. "Okay, so they're competition for male salamanders and it appears they currently own the market on it. So why not do the same and get a suitor from another species as well?"

"Do you know how hard it is to find a guy that can keep up with us gals?"

".......you're a complete nymphomaniac."

"No, I'm a Igniscaud. We tend to have an unquenchable libido."

"Then ho........AH...CHOO!" I rub my nose as I recollect myself and let the dustpan and broom do what they were enchanted to do, "We're getting off subject here. Tell me, what you did when the lights went out."

A bit of color suddenly left her face, "I was searching for something to light up the place."

"Your tail is something that lights up."

"Oh, r-right. Must've forgotten." The salamander says with a sheepish grin.

I grown at her lack of cooperation, "We can do this three ways, Ribbon."

She suddenly snickers.

"Yes, I know. Three-way intercourse. Grow up." I spoke in a monotone voice, "You could tell me what you really did, have me uncover the truth, or have me make up a hypothesis that could possibly make you the culprit."

Ribbon grumbles, "I was mfffmff."

"Do I have to repeat the choices again?"

She takes a deep breath, "I was scared, okay!"

"You? Scared?"

Ribbon humphed, "Don't judge me, I just don't like lightning is all."

"I'm just kinda surprised that an outgoing mare like you was scared of something so silly."

"Oh shut up, Honeypot. Aren't you afraid of anything?"

"...........Teriyaki sauce."

"What?"

I quickly divert the subject, "T-tell me about Twilight."

"I don't trust her." Ribbon states, "She's trying to make the three of us get along, but I can't figure out what she would gain out of it."

I rub my nose to those words, "What about Frilly?"

"I don't understand her."

"Yeah, I'm not very familiar with her language either."

"No, I mean she doesn't make any sense." The salamander corrects, "Like earlier, I asked if there were any hot guys around. She responded, 'El glaseado está en el sombrero', which basically means, 'Frosting is in the hat'. I even asked her again in her native tongue and she replies, 'Por cada copa, un gato tiene mitones', which means, 'For every glass, a cat has mittens'."

This bit of news perked my interest, "How'd you understand her?"

"Well a while back I met up with a chupacabra, and he taught me some words as I was giving him a blo-"

I tuned her out as I began thinking over her words. It all started to make sense now. The actions, the responses, but what I couldn't figure out were the reasons. Why would she go this far for the heirlooms? There must've been something more to this.

"Well? Did you figure out who stole them?"

All of us were standing in the room where the confections were held. The group of mares standing before me were anxious for what my verdict was.

And I was utterly terrified.

Twilight was friendly, Tweety was simple, Winky was cautious, Ribbon was ambitious, and Frilly was questionable. It was obvious who the culprit was, there was no other explanation. But I was still a little bit hazy on the details, which made me hesitant on giving an answer.

All the eyes staring rattled me with fear, I couldn't even look them in the eyes. What if I was wrong? Would asking anymore questions hurt, or would it just make the others gang up on her?

I shake my head, gaining a disappointing groan from all of them.

"Come on, Snozzberry." Ribbon whined, "We all know that the harpy did it, just like how she stole our males."

"You leave my love bird out of this." Tweety chirped, "You've obviously been fooled by sticky-fingers over there."

"Hardly," Winky scolded, "The brash salamander that can't hold down a boyfriend did it."

"Oh go fu-"

"Guys. Guys." Twilight intervened, "Why don't we just take a deep breath and work together on this."

I place a hoof up to my muzzle, "..............work.......together......*Sniff*"

"Okay," The alicorn continued, "Let's not say on who stole them, but rather think how they could steal them."

Tweety, Winky, and Ribbon stay silent for a moment to think that through.

".......You know," Spoke the harpy, "It kinda seems like it was planned out."

"Yeah," Agreed the salamander, "We did have to bring them, which would fall in their favor."

"And the idea," Continued the frog, "It was suggested by..."

The three of them glared at The Princess of Friendship.

Twilight stumbles back with a grim look on her face, "G-guys."

As those three are cornering Twilight on my left, I turn to the right and see Frilly doing nothing. I turn back toward the others and start noticing something, those three are on the same wavelength. Teaming up, not even concerned that they hate each other. Almost like they were cooperating as...... SPORES GALORE!!!!

"You're the one that wanted us to have this sitdown." Spoke the Avine.

"Y-yeah, but I wa-"

"You're the one that suggested to bring the heirlooms." Spoke the Croakony.

"T-t-that was jus-"

"You're the one that could easily have taken them with your magic." Berated the Igniscaud.

Twilight bumps her rear in the corner. She looks at all three of them before her eyes widen and turns away with a disheartened look. She closes them, stands up tall, and takes a deep breath.

"I KNOW WHO DID IT!" I blurted.

All the eyes in the room look at me and I direct them to the culprit, "It was you... Frilly!"

"¡QUÉ!"

Everycreature's eyes were on the colorful mare.

I take a quick glance back before returning my celtic eyes back at the piñata, "Admit it, Frilly."

She emitted a raspberry glow for a tiny second and suddenly looked menacing, "So you think you got me, huh? Well guess again." She makes another brief glow before she runs for it.

From there, the chase was on and Filly was bouncing everywhere with Tweety, Winky, and Ribbon trying to corner her.

The piñata dove underneath the table as Tweety came swooping down.

Winky grabbed a stack of plates in one hand and flung them across the room to hit Frilly.

The thieving mare dodged Ribbons claw as it came slashing by.

I stood by, I wasn't much of a fighter. I took glances over to Twilight every so often and saw her analyzing the situation instead of helping.

After about fifteen minutes, Frilly slipped through Winky's fingers and was caught by Ribbon in a tight hold.

Frilly struggles to break free of the salamander's grip, but she couldn't escape.

A swift glow emitted from the piñata, "FINE! TAKE THEM!" She yelled, "BUT YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME!!!"

She flashed a raspberry glow and suddenly vanished, leaving behind the four heirlooms in her place.

With there treasures back, the three mares knelt down in exhaustion. Chasing Frilly everywhere really drained them.

The Croakony looks at the Igniscaud, "That's a pretty strong grip you got there, Ribbon."

"That's nothing," The salamander gloated, "I wrestle around with horned beetles at least a meter and a half tall. Those buggers put up more of a fight than she ever could."

"Meter and a half!" Winky said in shock. "That would feed about ten families if we had something that size."

"Well there's plenty of them about. We can get some for you guys later if you want."

"....you'd actually give up some of your food for me, my fellow frogs, ....and my tadpoles?"

"Yeah, though I wouldn't actually call them food. The gals and I usually fend them off on a regular basis. Which is only because 'Buzz Kill' and her posse stole the guys that usually do the dirty work of fighting for us!"

"Is it so wrong to find a special somepony?" Tweety asked innocently.

"Not unless you wanna play with fire!"

"I could always show you to a couple of nice young fellas." Winkie popped in to say.

"Really!?" The other two said with enthusiasm.

"Yup, there's a lot of young guys who want to find a pretty girl and settle down."

"Settle down?" Ribbon said with a cringing look, "Yuck, not our style."

"But it sounds like ours," Chimed in Tweety.

"You cluckqueans are already stuffing yourselves with guys! Our guys, remember?"

"Not all of us gals are compatible with every salamander, I still have some sisters that need guys to sing to. We'll just scare the ones that haven't settle down back to you guys."

"R.......really?"

"Yeah, there's a lot of them that just hang around and try hitting on us in the most irritating way. They try a certain type of singing whenever one of us passes by them, but their singing is awful, they only whistle two notes followed by a howl that resembles a wolf."

"That's how my parents met!"

As the three of them were showing signs of getting along, I take another look over to Twilight as she wipes a hoof across her forehead.

The peace meeting soon got started again, but the three leaders seemed different then. They were calm, listened to what others had to say, and appeared to be more friendlier with each other. It was quite short actually, finishing in under an hour before all of them came to an agreement. The Avine would get the boyfriends from the Croakonies, the Crokonies would get some of the horned beetles from the Igniscauds, and the Igniscauds would get their males back from the Avine. As the sun began to rise for that morning, I saw the three leaders off as they went their separate ways on equal terms, leaving me and Twilight behind to clean up the place.

It seemed like I could put this case to a close.

However, I had to have a little discussion with the princess before this can end.

I enter the confection room with the broom and dustpan following close behind, seeing that Twilight had already cleaned up half the room up already. "So it looks like you'll be cleaning up after the mess Frilly made, huh?"

"I'm afraid so," She replied as she lifted all the garbage off the floor with magic and shoved it into a big trash bag. "I wanna thank you again for earlier."

"Yeah, It's lucky that I caught on to your scheme before you gambit yourself."

The alicorn halts her movement, "Scheme? What scheme?"

"Don't play innocent. Frilly stealing the heirlooms, the three leaders working together on catching the culprit, me figuring out Frilly being the thief. This was all a cleverly constructed ploy to subconsciously influence those three into becoming allia-......ah......AH.....CHOO.........*sniff*...into being friends."

"Oh?" The princess replied with a straight face at me as the broom and dustpan sweeps up my spores, "If this was what you deduced, then why would you go blame an innocent mare like Frilly?"

"Because Frilly was never really a monster mare, but rather just a normal simple piñata." I made a strong sniffle before I continued, "Here's what happened... Days before this meeting began, you had one on one time with each leader and tried to get them to stop their conflict with each other. They too wished to drop a curtain over this feud as well for one reason or another, however, the three of them were stubborn on keeping their reputation and refused on accepting a truce until the other two said it first. Nopony was willing to take the first approach, so you devised a plan. Something that would go under their noses and have all three of them coming together to overcome a common issue to form an alliance. And hopefully, an everlasting friendship."

"Your first goal was having a meeting place located in a neutral location where all three of them weren't in one of the other's territory. A structure would've been best, so you decided to build this cottage. A powerful alicorn with incredible magic like yours would have no trouble building this well intact cabin in minutes, though your decoration skills could really use some work."

"Next, you needed something to act out as an obstacle for the three of them to overcome by teaming up, so a series of 'traps' were laid out by you. If one failed, you'll have a backup plan. The first attempt was the simple approach of a successful meeting, the second was casual conversation with confectionery. Of course, they were stubborn, they may not even try any attempt on letting up."

"Which is why you considered on getting an antagonist, but whomever you chose would've most likely become injured by three powerful leaders of some of the most notorious monsters in Gaia. Not wanting to put anypony in harms way, you decided to take advantage on this lands many forms of life and created your own monster mare by enchanting a common inanimate piñata."

"Lastly, you suggested that all three leaders to bring their most valued heirloom as a sign of good faith and trust with one another. But your real intention with those relics was for them to be the 'trigger' which would most certainly drive everyone to participate. You even pitched in with Celestia's crown to throw suspicion off yourself."

"Everything was set, and you waited for a stormy night for all of you to meet to bring your plan into full effect. It was going according to your expectations, they brought their antiques, you fooled them into believing that Frilly was a sentient pony, the meeting was going nowhere, even them refusing to talk over a meal, and eventually having to resort to drastic measures during a lightning strike. You used your magic to cut the power and hastefully went to steal the heirlooms and hide them in the most obvious place that nocreature would've considered because of the spell you placed on it. Inside the piñata, Frilly."

"But a flaw began to arise in your plan, none of them were catching on that Frilly was the culprit; instead, they began to accuse each other for being the thief. It probably would've gotten out of hoof and into a physical conflict if things went the way they were, so you had to think of another plan. You could've given some kind of indication that it was Frilly, but what kind of impression would it leave if The Princess of Friendship were to accuse one of her friends? And if they found out it was you, you'd be in boiling water."

"So you considered on trying something that might give them a hint, an outside source that might shed some light on the situation. You hired me, an amateur, hoping my inexperience would've been enough to make me suspect Frilly instead of you. A pro would've eventually caught on that it was you and would've destroyed what you were working for."

"As I investigated, I was starting to see a thin line between you and Frilly. The piñata seemed like the obvious culprit, she had nothing to lose if she was the thief, but I was starting to see some suspicion about you; mainly, you didn't see this obvious culprit. Those three were only preoccupied with themselves and how to lash out at the other, but you were trying to save them and get them to form a truce. Why would you let this little foresight slip by?"

"You asked me if I found the culprit, but I couldn't give you a straight answer until I was certain. Your hopes were now dwindling, and you finally decided to try and take matters into your own hooves, even if it meant risking your title. But it backfired and they suspected you as the culprit."

"It wasn't what you wanted, but you noticed it, they were working together. It was your chance, if you were to take the fall and declare that you stole the heirlooms, they would've finally started working together with a common goal; but, it would've destroy any chance you had at forming an alliance with any of them. You were willing and ready to take the fall, it seemed inevitable since they were already doing just that."

"Until I caught onto your intended ploy and helped out."

The sound of silence echoes the room. While the atmosphere feels light for me, I can tell that she was being weighed down.

"......*Sniff*......I'll take that avoiding response of yours that I'm rooted to the truth."

Twilight gives a soft smile as she shook her head. "Only a few hours ago, I thought I was surrounded by a bunch of naive mares that couldn't see two hooves from there noses. I did such a hard job at trying to hide all of that, perhaps a bit too good of a job. I'm glad somecreature caught on, but I never thought they would've figured out everything." She looks over at me, "What gave it away?"

"It was your spell, the one that animates objects. There's a flaw to it." I shake my head to let my spores fall. The dustpan and broom following me begin to sweep it up, "These cleaning supplies seem very lifelike, cleaning up whenever spores hit the ground. However..." I tip a plastic cup off the table next to me. When it hit the floor, the dustpan and broom stay still. "That's all they do. They're not sentient, they're just following the order you gave them with your spell."

"I'm quite aware of that limitation."

"I figu......ACHOO....I know, because Frilly was also enchanted by this spell. Sense she isn't a free thinker, she wouldn't be able to hold herself up in a conversation, so you had her speak a foreign language. It didn't matter what she said, just as long as nocreature could understand her. Unfortunately for you, Ribbon could understand her language and told me about it. I connected the dots and arrived to the conclusion that you were behind it. If that wasn't enough of a clue, then the brief raspberry glow Frilly emitted during her attempted escape had the same glow you place on the dustpan and broom. It was when nocreature had their eyes on you that you could change her posture and get her to say and move to what you wanted her to do."

Twilight sits on her rump, "You figured out all of this? Are you sure you're a newbie?"

"You still don't understand Gaia at all, Princess. Monsters aren't ponies, many of us can make pros look like beginners because of our monster half. Mushrooms of all kinds know how to work the mind, and I'm the kind of shroom that can use her critical-thinking to find the truth."

"Is that so?" Twilight asks with an intrigued look on her face, "Sounds like you'll become the next Shroomlock Holmes at this pace."

"And it sounds like you'll be the next Schumare with those puns."

I get a giggle out of her, "So tell me, Truffles. When's your next case going to be?"

Author's Note

Creating A Monster
.....Mare

Truffles - The name 'Tubequine' is the combination between the genus name for a truffle 'Tuber' and equine. I tried to imply that she had a dull color scheme of a mushroom you may find in autumn (like a shiitake mushroom), but her eyes would be the brightest, most appealing part of her features. Truffles' eyes were actually taken from a picture I made in collage of a humanoid flower. The reason I had her allergic to her spores was that I wanted some kind of negative feature about her (I think I'll replace it with a different burden if I ever come back to her, saying that it was spore season or something). She was originally suppose to be tired and sleeping throughout most of the story, but that had to go cause I don't know how a sleepy shroom would be interesting. Can't say why I picked a mushroom at all, guess I just like the idea of her using her spores as fingerprint dust. But I also did like the idea of her cap looking like Sherlock Holmes' hat (though, I can't imagine how that would look).

Tweety - I wanted the leaders to have simple names so it would be easier to remember who's who. She was partially inspired as a 'tri-fusion' between three harpies; the appearance of Harpy (Ponyvania: Order of Equestria), the simple mindedness of Papi (Monster Musume), and the pop idle dreaming of Harpy (Desire Dungeon). Somewhere along the line though, I tried to make her more smarter and pull off an indian chief that was into trends involving fashion (lost the fashion but kept the eye-shadow and lashes). Harpies are close to Sirens, so I thought that they lured the male Salamanders with their voice and kept their appearance up to stay attractive to them; but, I eventually removed it for reasons.

Winky - She shares the same name and colors as Donkey Kong Country's frog, Winky. She was first intended to be the 'Big Mamma' type, but I wanted her to have a flaw of some kind that would make her seem untrustworthy. I then somehow thought about her being a mob boss because of her big family, but I need her to be the threat. Not her connections. She was also intended to be a concerned starving mother that could tell when others were lying, but that would make Truffles unnecessary so it had to go. Not sure if it got across or not, but her croaks are mistaken for her stomach growling. I also needed to give her capabilities of stealing food and while Greninja seemed like a good reference to go by, I actually considered the frogs from Naruto.

Ribbon - Just like how Corruption of Champions' Helia was explicitly inspired by the salamander from Kenkou Cross's "The Monster Girl Encyclopedia", so was Ribbon explicitly inspired by Helia. The species name 'Igniscaud' is my attempt on the Latin name for Unicorn, uni (one) Cornu (horn) where mine is Ignis (fire) Cauda (tail). I had this whole thing about her needing the male salamanders because they would lose control when they started to fall in love; and, if the partner wasn't prepared like a salamander's, they would accidentally kill their partner by snoo-snoo. I also had this little backstory that she regrets that her and her mother didn't get along (leading her to have some sympathy for Tweety and Winky being moms) and another story where she met a changling and had some of her love stolen (An hour later, he died from a combination of multiple organ failures and fourth-degree burns originating from inside him). I had so many dirty jokes for Ribbon, the one I regret on cutting out was Truffles asking why she teases her with nicknames, Ribbon replies that one reason is that Truffles is a mushroom, 'It's because at a certain angle, that mushroom cap makes you look like a giant walking di-'.

Frilly - I needed a scapegoat, a character the readers would expect only for me to pull the rug and reveal that Twilight was the real culprit, and thought an inanimate object like a Piñata could work. It came with benefits as I would also have someplace to hide the heirlooms. The fact that Frilly lacked character was intended........ partially. I just couldn't really think much about what it could be. I thought the party pony type, but that might've caused the readers to think that something was up if Twilight didn't have Pinkie as the party host.