Bad pony!

by AmanDash

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Profanity, Random, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Pinkie Pie
Length: 6379

An experimental spell goes out of control, and Twilight Sparkle accidentally ends up on the streets of a town on Earth. A passer-by notices her and offers to take her to his home for the night.

Twilight Sparkle loves developing and experimenting with new spells. Her latest spell is one of the most daring experiment in the history of Equestrian magic: she aims to teleport herself to the Moon and get back. However, the spell spirals out of control and she somehow ends up in a different reality. She appears on our humble planet Earth.

Dave has freshly graduated from the university in electrical engineering. He has a decent job and some friends. After one of his drinkings with his buddies, he finds a horse-like creature with very uncommon features and coat color on his way home. After the initial shock of encountering a talking unicorn with wings, he decides to take her to his home. This cannot possibly go wrong.

Inspired by the picture seen in DwK's Totally Legit Recap: "The Mean 6" Season 8 Episode 13. I just saw the picture, and inspiration struck me.

Warning: contains Profanity, cuteness and a human with a sprinkler.

Published 2019-05-18 17:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2019-05-18 17:50:02 UTC

First Contact: success! Well, sorta.

Hi, I'm Dave. 25 years old, recently graduated from the university in the field of Electrical Engineering. I am currently working at a huge international automotive company as SQA engineer. Some of my friends from the university work here too, though in different divisions, which made a great part of my decision where I should apply to. I live alone in a flat in a residential district of an average town. It is not a metropolis, but neither a village in Texas. We have decent stores, movies, two theaters, a concert hall, a sports arena, two libraries and of course a decent amount of pubs and clubs. It was our usual Friday drinking in our favorite pub. Every Friday, I would meet here my friends turned colleagues and talk over some beers. Nothing too radical, just some friendly talking and drinking, some table football or snooker matches, though sometimes we proceeded to one of the music clubs to go partying. This time, we were here just for the beers and the fun.

"So, Dave" said Adam, who worked as a programmer at our company, "have you watched that My Little Pony episode I have linked you already?"

"Dude, I don't watch that. Don't get me wrong, everybody is watching whatever he wants, but you know I am not attracted to this one. The scenery is just too surreal and girly for me. I rather watch some action, like The Walking Dead or Sons of Anarchy. The only thing I remember from this unicorn hype is Pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows. Now that's something worth listening to."

"Yeah, dude" interjected Jason, who was a bit older than us and currently worked as an SMT technician, "You are the only one in the group who watches that."

"By the way, Jason, how did your latest date with Caroline turn out?" I asked.

"Meh, nothing special. She is good and all, but we don't have the same pastimes. She is a sports fanatic. I am more of a gamer type. It wouldn't work out, so we agreed to remain friends."

"Maaan, that sucks."

"Yeah, pretty much. But I wouldn't want a girl who couldn't live with me together. Anyway, it's a bit late already. I think I'm heading home."

"Yeah, right. Same time here tomorrow?"

"Yeah, good night guys."

With that, we went our separate ways to our homes. Surprisingly, Jason still lived in the outskirts in a house with his parents, while Adam has moved to downtown, due to him having the best paying job of us, and maybe also because this way he could meet more with his other brony friends. On my way home, I was entertaining myself with recalling some wicked quotes from Deadpool 2, when suddenly a blinding purplish white light appeared somewhat 100 meters to the left in a side street. Call me weird, but my first thought was aliens. Apparently, the light died down just as fast as it emerged, but curiosity got the better of me, so I headed for the side street to check out whatever could have caused the light.

I could already see it. Oh shit. There was something lying on the pavement. It resembled an animal, more precisely, a small horse, or a pony. It had this weird facial structure with HUGE eylids, a head form somewhere between that of a horse and a human, a horn and even two wings. Not to mention its unusual lavender coat and purple-pink-dark blue mane and tail. What the fuck? Well, scratch aliens. Was someone trying to conceal a flash grenade in a unicorn shape and left it behind as a prank? Though, upon reaching nearer, I could see it was a living animal, though clearly not of Earth origin. It was breathing, and probably asleep. I was at about five meters from it when it suddenly opened her eyes, which had, I shit you not, very big purple irises. A look of utter confusion and pure horror appeared on its face, and it fainted on the spot. Just great. What should I do? Call the police, a vet, my friend Adam? After all, it resembled one of those pony figures from My Little Pony, which I have already ran into via various Internet forums and thanks to me being friends with Adam. Or should I just simply walk away? I opted for the last one, when I suddenly heard something that made me freeze from shock.

"Hello? Is anypony here? Where am I? Somepony help!"

What the actual fuck? Did that... creature just speak in English? How? My first thought was to run. Run as fast as I can, and never look back. But after the initial shock of hearing an alien horse-like creature uttering words in a feminine voice in English, the words started to make meaning. Whatever this creature was, she was clearly lost, shocked and frightened. Yes, I assumed it was a she because of her voice. The girlish colors also pointed to this, but you just can't be sure with aliens. They can have 256 genders for all we know, can be genderless, artificial lifeforms or even just virtual projections of an extraterrestrial conscious. The possibilities are literally endless. Though I was almost as frightened as her, I knew I wouldn't have forgiven myself if I just had left her behind. I steeled myself to stop, turn around and face whatever was coming.

"Um, hello! I am David Berger, but you can call me Dave. I am a human. What are you?"

"Uuum. H-Hello Dave, I am Twilight Sparkle from Planet Equis. I am a pony, an alicorn to be more specific. I am the Princess of Friendship. What is this place?"

"This is our planet Earth." To be fair, despite her being an alien, she looked somewhat cute. A purple unicorn with wings and big twinkling eyes? Chances are that the majority of the Internet users would do almost anything to get a picture and/or an artifact looking like her.

"What? I saw it when I first looked around, but I couldn't believe it. Part of me didn't want to. Is this really an other planet? Everything here looks so... chaotic, menacing, different! How far is Planet Equis? Why are clouds so blurry and big? Why I can't see the Moon?"

She is losing it again. She starts hyperventilating, her wings flap out, ready to fly and her horn starts to glow. I don't know what that thing is capable of, so I do the only logical thing that pops into my mind: I'm starting to run. For real now. You just don't fight aliens possessing gods know what kinds of weird powers.

"Heeey! Wait! Don't try to get away! Answer me!"

I feel a slight push hitting me in the back, as if I was shot with a magical beam and the next moment, I'm floating in the air, a purple aura surrounding me. Shit just got real.

"Alright, alright, I give up! Just put me down gently. Please."

"O-Okay. Sorry for that. I am just confused and I don't know what to do!"

"Alright, got it. Just, no more levitations, telekinesis, glowing horns, magic or whatever you call it okay? It freaks me out."

"Eh, hehe heh. Okay. So, can you tell me how far Planet Equis is?"

"Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, I have never even heard of an exoplanet or a solar system named Equis. You must have come from very far away. Which begs the question, how did you even get here? I don't even see any kind of vehicle with you."

"Well, about that..."

Twilight Tales: TO THE MOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNAAAA!!!!!!! ...and back. In ten seconds flat. Seriously. I promise!

"TWILIGHT!!!" I hear an almost panicky yell and furious banging on the door.

"What could be so important this time... Yes Spike?"

" I have been knocking and calling you for the last two minutes. You have been in the basement for at least 15 hours already. Is everything okay?"

"Of course! I'm this close to completing my newest spell! If I succeed, it will be a breakthrough in the history of Equestrian magic. I can't wait!"

"Sooo... is that a no for dinner?"

"Wait! Is it evening already? That would explain the hunger."

"Twilight... Just come out already, would you? You were so engrossed in whatever you were studying that you didn't show up for lunch, which has occurred before, but it's almost like bedtime for me already. You know, Trixie and Starlight are already sitting at the table. We are just waiting for you. I have prepared your favorite daffodil and daisy sandwiches for you."

Wait. Did I really spend so much time in the basement? I check the pendulum clock on the wall. To my surprise, it shows 10 pm. Wow! No wonder Spike got worried. "Just a moment!" I yell. I arrange my books and notes, then I open the door with my magic. I join Spike and we head for the diner. Spike was right, Trixie and Starlight are already waiting there, a pile of freshly baked pancakes on their plates.

"So, Twilight, what is it you are studying this time?" Starlight asks after we finished our dinner.

"I have been studying ultra-long distance teleportation spells. I have found an unfinished spell by Clover the Clever which can be powerful enough to teleport the caster all across space, directly TO THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNAAAAA! BE-YEETCH! Can you believe it? I am so excited, almost as excited as Pinkie Pie when a new pony is in town! Scratch that, I am exactly as excited! I have completed the spell already, all I have to do is trying it out after dinner!"

"Uuuh. Wow. To the Moon you say? It's impossible! No pony has ever been able to do that, not even the Princesses! You know as well as I that even Princess Celestia needed the Elements of Harmony to seal her sister there. And the Elements did just that. Luna wasn't teleported to the Moon as a body and mind. No pony ever has been able to teleport herself there and get back on her own."

"Yeah, but it still shows that it is possible. Clover the Clever pointed out that the teleportation indeed didn't need as much energy as the deconstruction of the body of Princess Luna into a spirit without a mass. That was the point where the power of the Elements were needed. He created the formulas which would allow the caster to reach the same state. He has already worked out the spell in theory. All I had to do was complete the calculations and determine the exact amount of power needed. So the procedure is this. I undergo the same transformation as Princess Luna did after being hit by the Elements so I am easier to teleport. I deconstruct my body to become a spirit without mass, then teleport myself to the Moon. Once on surface, I take a quick look around, then I return here, and I reassemble my body. I will be back faster than Rainbow Dash from a visit to Carousel Boutique. I promise. But I need your help, Starlight."

"I don't know, Twilight. Isn't it too dangerous? What if you end up as a spirit and can't reassemble yourself? If it were so easy, then why didn't Princess Luna simply teleport herself back and reassemble her body right after her banishment?"

"A good question, but worry not, I took everything into consideration. The Elements of Harmony are the most powerful magic in Equestria at the moment, but they are not fully under our control. The Element Bearers can trigger them to be cast, but their exact operational mechanism is a mystery to us, even until now. Star Swirl DID hide his results very well. He created the Elements as the ultimate defense weapon of Equestria against evil forces and made sure that no technical documentation or specifics would be found. He created them to become a power independent of the Princesses, then he cast a memory spell even on himself in order to forget the specifics. The Princesses could wield them in case of need, but they didn't know anything about the structure. He believed that no pony could be without the possibility of failure, not even the Princesses, not even himself. What the Elements do to an evil force is not decided by their wielders. It is decided by the Elements themselves. Princess Luna wasn't merely teleported to the Moon. She was banished there, pinned on its surface, without the possibility of moving herself even as a spirit. Key point is that I have enough power to deconstruct or reassemble myself, but not doing both. If you power my deconstruction spell, then I can move freely as a spirit, and have enough power left in me to reassemble myself once I return here. So would you be kind enough to help me?"

"Why don't you ask Princess Celestia? I'm sure she holds more power than me, and she has always encouraged you in your studies as I know."

"She wouldn't do it. She has been there for me most of the times, but she fears for me so much that she has talked me out of anything which she deemed too dangerous to me. She would never contribute to me deconstructing myself, but I just have to know! I don't want to stop now. Not now, when I have everything worked out, up and running. I guess that's why you figured out time traveling before me. When I mentioned the possibility of it to her, she just talked me out of it."

"Now you are right. That's the difference between me and you. I studied independently, without a Princess helping or overseeing me. I may have lacked the guidance, but I could study and experiment with whatever I wanted. No pony standing over my shoulders indoctrinating me with fears in order to hold me back from achieving what other ponies couldn't."

"Princess Celestia would never hold me back. She just worries over me."

"Yet you are turning to me, an ex-nemesis for help."

"Umm... Fine. Just help me, please. For the future. For Equestria."

"Let me run through this again. So, you are from a different reality. From a VERY different one, I might add, where magic is real, and ponies live in an organized society. You cast a risky spell in order to perform a moon landing, but you somehow ended up on our planet instead and you somehow "reassembled your body", as you put it. But how are you even planning to return?"

"I don't know! The spell didn't act as I wanted! I should have become a spirit, remaining conscious but all I remember is waking up here! Please help me! I need to get back. Bring me to your rulers or archmages so they can help me return!"

"I'm sorry little princess, but we don't have a ruler. We have a democracy, with legislation, enforcement and jurisdiction separated. Neither do we have magic, nor talking ponies. All I can offer is that you can come home with me and sleep overnight before the police captures you and takes you away to a research facility. You are the first alien to appear on Earth, so you would arise quite the attraction. And trust me, it would do no good to you. Once at home, I can contact a friend of mine who may know more about you than me. He could be of help."

"This doesn't even make sense! You are the first, how did you call yourself, "Human" I have met, yet you claim your friend knows more about me than you?"

"This won't be easy, but I must tell you. You are nothing Earth-like. Your appearance is that of a fictional character from a cartoon series. A cartoon called My Little Pony, if I am correct. But trust me, my friend Adam knows mostly everything about that cartoon. I guess that with the similarity given, he could help more than me. Now we should go home."

"Right... So... do you live far away? I could teleport us to your home, if you give me the exact location." She says, horn already glowing.

"No! Bad pony! No teleportation!" I scold her, while lightly slapping her on the scruff. I can't help myself, she is rather the height of a Great Dane dog, than an actual pony. Not to mention, I am very afraid of teleportation. Add this to the fact that she has already failed up big with it. In fact, she failed so bad that she would deserve that Pony Facepalm picture sent to her, were she to have a computer and an e-mail address. Wait. Isn't she the exact replica of the pony of that picture? I should check it out once we arrive at home.

Nightmare Night

"Alright. We are here."

"THIS is where you live? Oh my Celestia, this is enormous! It has much more rooms than my castle. Are you really not a prince in disguise? Though you should seriously contact with a fashionista or an interior designer. I have seen prisons less depressing and with more color."

"Calm down Twilight, I only own one room here. There are at least 200 people living in this buliding. As for the lack of coloration, I have seen ponies with LESS color. Without horns, wings, magic or the ability to talk, I might add."

"Um.... Fine. Just really strange, that's all. But really. 200 inhabitants or more in one building? Are you humans living in hives just like changelings?"

"For Christ's sake, tune it down a peg or two! We will never get in if you are asking questions every step we make. Even worse, some inhabitants would spot you and then they would be the ones asking questions. To you."

"I can cast an invisibility spell on me. I won't mess it up. Promise! It is simple! The you could walk in as you are used to and I could follow you without being spotted."

"Yeah, leaving any bystander wondering where that sound of hoof beats come from. I may have not thought this out. Maybe I should still call the police."

"No, please don't. I'd rather trust you than an alien police force. I know how authorities can be. They would overreact and arrest me on sight as if I were a criminal. I don't know exactly how it goes here, but we do it that way in Equestria. If an unknown creature appears out of the blue, either the Royal Guard, the Princesses or the Element Bearers are contacted to subdue it even before guessing its intentions. But I have this strange feeling that somehow I can trust you. I promise I will behave. I won't be a bad pony!"

"Fine. But we have to do something with the hoof beat anyway."

"Um... I can levitate?"

"You know what? I won't even ask. I know I said no magic, but if we manage to reach my flat without you being spotted, I will gladly let it slide this time. Just don't get too accustomed to it. And once inside, no magic. Please. It really makes me afraid."

"I promise. So, can we start? I'm going invisible now." She says while her horn lights up and she just... disappears without any visible or audible effect. Fucking creepy. I don't even hear her hooves clopping on the pavement. As handy as it is now, I will definitely have nightmares about this for a while. Thinking that aliens can just appear out of nowhere and be among us anywhere, anytime without us even suspecting them to be there, let alone noticing them. I don't even know why is she afraid of the police. Even if they would try to detain her, chances are she could hide from them with ease, maybe even overpower them. Just what have I got myself into? And yet, be it because of the many fantasy novels and movies, or an inner part of me, I just don't have it in me to rat her out or leave her behind. I want to help her, not to cause more problems. After all, she is dealing exceptionally well with this whole 'cast to a different reality' thing. Most people would have probably freaked out and be in a constant fight or flight state under similar circumstances. Not to say that if I do help her, she may be able to contact her kind on her home planet somehow and get back. Better for her, and certainly better for me and for the rest of humanity. Even if she weren't the one to make the first move, I suspect she would do whatever it takes to defend herself were a human to attack or threaten her, and I don't want any part of it. I don't want any alien wars and possible invasions in my life.

While I was musing on these thoughts I didn't even realize that I am already inside the lift heading to my level. Yeah, I'm a level 14 flat dweller. I exit the lift and head to my front door. I open it with the key, enter then lock it up for the night. Suddenly Twilight drops her invisibility spell and lands gracefully on all fours at my right. I can't deny, the whole scene is cuteness incarnate. A little colorful talking unicorn with BIG eyes tuned to maximum cuteness appearing out of nowhere with horn glowing and wings spread with the elegance of a swan, then landing gracefully and folding her wings neatly to her sides. Maybe I will spare the nightmares. After all, despite all the potentially dangerous and devastating powers she holds, she is very cute. She is acting nicely as well. More nicely than most of us humans. I bet the internet would just eat this up. Knowing the unicorn frenzy of the people and the internets of this era, she would probably gain world domination only by posting a video about herself on YouTube even without fighting for it.

That doesn't mean that I am overly happy with her illuminating the whole room in an unnatural purplish light cast with her horn before I can find the light switch. I manage to flip up the light while I can't help myself scolding her again.

"No! Bad pony! No lighting magic!" Maybe I should get my sprinkler which I used on my little sister while we were kids when we had our affairs. It worked perfectly until she reached 12. Come to think of it, I should totally rename her Twinkle Sprinkle. She already has the twinkle in her eyes, and when her horn would start to glow, she would get the sprinkle in her face. She would deserve one for levitating me on first contact anyways.

"So, Twilight. This is the anteroom. After the anteroom is the living room with my bed. There is a small guest room with an other bed. Toilet and bathroom is to the right. Kitchen is to the left. I'll get you a blanket so you can sleep in the guest room. Tomorrow I will introduce you to Adam, but right now I think both of us need a good night's rest. Should you need anything, I will be here. Good night Twilight."

"Good night Dave."

Finally some alone time and some rest of this weirdness. First I do a quick search for that Pony facepalm picture. Yep. It is clearly that pony. Then I look up My Little Pony. So, we have My Little Pony, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, My Little Pony: The Movie, My Little Pony: Equestria Girls and tons of artifacts, plushies, magazines and so on... I click the Wikipedia page of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I skip to the Cast and Characters part. There I see the name of Twilight Sparkle, so I click on the link List of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic characters. Let's see... Main characters, Mane six (Really? Horse related puns?), Princess Twilight Sparkle. There is even a picture of her. Yep. It is her. Total match. She is a princess, she has the same coat color, mane and tail, the same big eyes. She also has the wings and the horn and is apparently called an "alicorn", a kind of pegasus-unicorn hybrid. She used the same word to describe herself. She even has the same "cutie mark", an unexplainable difference of coloration of her coat on her flanks, which resembles a big six-pointed star surrounded by five small white stars.

Apparently, in an alternate reality these characters of a cartoon series created for entertainment by humans actually exist and live. Just how weird is that? My mind automatically jumps to that South Park episode where there is a TV show for aliens named something like Earth or Planet Earth about humanity. It is a big world (or there are big worlds), and as it turns out, anything is possible. I take some photos of her with my camera to send them to Adam in the morning. I really hope he can figure something out. With basic research done, I go to sleep also.

I wake up to an ear-piercing scream. I immediately switch on my reading lamp, get out of bed and reach for my stun gun, preparing for whatever will happen. Suddenly, the screaming stops and I hear the sounds of sobbing from the guest room. Huh. I'm lucky. No burglars or murderers, just Twilight getting frightened of something. I open the door to the guest room and I can see a very frightened Twilight with a disheveled mane and troubled and tear-filled eyes.

"Twilight, what happened?"

"I...-I'm *sob* Go *sob* nna... Die..."

"Twilight, it is me, Dave."

"I'm *sob*... Gonna *sob*... Die..."

I grab her by the shoulders and lightly shake her.

"Snap out of it! You just probably had a nightmare."

"Th *sob*... That's *sob* just it... Prin... cess *sob* Luna... dis... connected..."

"It's alright. Nothing bad is going to happen to you. This is a relatively safe house, and I am here. Just calm down." I say, while gently hugging her. She leans onto my chest and the sobs finally seem to quiet down.

"I was having a nightmare of getting chained down in a horrible construct without doors or windows, and I just couldn't move. Then little by little, I was starting to get turned to stone and to die... Princess Luna should have saved me! She always watches the dreams of ponies, and she didn't appear in my dream to help! Which means I am so far from Equestria that the magic link I had with the planet and with my fellow Princesses are cut off! I have no chance to reconnect them and get home! THIS IS EVEN MORE WORSE THAN THE NIGHTMARE ITSELF!!!"

She yells out the last sentence and breaks down to sobbing again. To be fair, I can't fault her. Right now I'm feeling helpless. After all, her nightmare may be the exact truth. She ended up in an alien world with little to no possibility of breaking out of it. I really hope we can fix this with Adam's help. I'm hugging her again and holding her tight, which seems to calm her down a bit. Finally, sleep starts to take over her again. I tuck her in and I can't explain why, but I kiss her forehead gently, as if she were a little child.

That's why I named her Twinkle Sprinkle. By the way, Pinkie solves everything.

I awake at 9 am in the morning. I carefully tiptoe to the guest room and peek in. Twilight is still sleeping. Good. I head to the bathroom, take a pee, then I take a shower, dry myself off and get dressed. Before making breakfast, I check my Discord. Yep. Adam is luckily online. Maybe I won't need those photos from last night.

"Hey."
"Yo man! Awesome evening yesterday, right?"
"Yeah. Hey dude, I have something very important to tell you."
"Did you finally admit to yourself that you are gay?"
"Shut up, and listen."
"Geez, chill dude. I'm just pulling your leg."
"Yeah. But this is serious. You watch My Little Pony a lot, right?"
"Duuude, no way! Did you finally get yourself to watch that episode and become a fan?"
"Nothing like that. This is gonna be shocking, so please pay attention."
"I'm listening."
"I have one of the characters sleeping in my guest room right now."
"Uuuuh. What? Were you doing drugs after you got home?"
"I shit you not. I'mma have breakfast now but I'll be back in about an hour. Probably she will be awake by that time. Turn on your webcam and be online on Skype."
"Alright. I don't know what has got into you, but at least I can see whether you are in a drugged state or not. You do realize My Little Pony is only a cartoon series, right? My favorite one, and may I say, the best one, but still just a cartoon."
"Whatever. I still don't plan on watching it. Just promise to be online."
"Right."

I prepare breakfast for myself. Right after eating a huge slice of bread with ham and eggs, I hear the door of the guest room opening. Twilight trots into the living room and closes the door with her freaking magic again.

"Bad pony! No magic!" Luckily I DID prepare that ominous sprinkler before going to bed. Instead of slapping her again, I sprinkle her in the face with it. She cuts off her spell and looks a bit offended, but not too heartbroken. I guess it will work.

"Would you like some breakfast, Twinkle Sprinkle?" Yeah. I can be a bit mean sometimes. Funny, but a bit of a mean kind. And I'm still afraid of her teleporting and levitating abilities. I wouldn't be surprised if she were able to shoot burning death rays from her eyes just like Superman, or cast a freezing spell from her horn similar to Sub-Zero from Mortal Kombat. I would prefer her using her magic only if it's really justified.

"That's not my name!"

"Well, if you keep going on magicking the shit out of me or my surroundings, this will be your new name."

"Fiiine. Yeah, I'm starving. Do you have any hay fries? Oat flakes? Daffodil or daisy sandwiches? Some vegetables or sweets?"

"Oh, yeah, you are a pony. You are vegetarian. I can make you a sandwich with sliced vegetables or you can grab some apples if that's okay with you."

"Wow! I would love to have some apples."

"Here you are." I give here four apples and a slice of bread. After all, four apples don't count as a substantial meal even for a little pony according to my view, though who knows, maybe alien ponies have a more efficient digestive system than horses on Earth.

"Oh, these look delicious!" She literally shoves a whole apple in her muzzle with her hooves (Without magic! Yay!) and bites down hungrily. Eeeww, gross. She may look cute, but she has the table manners of a grizzly mixed with a hyena. She swallows down the half-chewed apple and burps after that. Seriously, I'm not quite a sophisticated person, but I'm beginning to wonder just what table manners an average pony could have in a world where princesses are devouring food like this. She quickly proceeds to the second one, but I already have my sprinkler at the ready. I pull the lever while I scold her again.

"Bad pony! Don't stuff the whole apple in your muzzle! Take a small bite of it, like this. Watch me." I grab another apple and take an average bite of it, chewing it with lips sealed and swallowing it with ease.

"Um... Eh-he-hehe... Sorry about that. You should meet my friend Rarity. I bet you two could hit it off. She is all for elegance and sophistication, and you could profit from meeting her also. Your flat needs some recoloring. I mean, light greyish blue walls? It looks like a closed metal cube."

"I know. And I like it this way."

"You humans are so weird. Just like your planet. Seemingly cold, menacing, ruthless on the surface... Yet you still have the good in your hearts, just like your planet has the warmth and grows you the food you need."

"I am only one of the seven billion humans, but yeah, I'm a bit of an odd one out, to be fair. So, Twinkle Sprinkle, finished with your meal already? I would like to introduce you to Adam. Maybe the three of us together can figure out something what may help you."

"Just a few more minutes. Or half, if I can eat the apples how I want."

"I can wait a few minutes."

"Okay, *burp* I'm finished now."

"Good. Now come with me, I'm gonna Skype Adam."

"What is a skype? Is it a human word for mail?"

"Well, almost. How should i put it. Magic doesn't exist in our world, so we had to solve problems with advanced technology. Over the years, we invented machines fueled by steam, flammable liquids and even electricity. We have developed various devices for multiple purposes. One of the most rapidly evolving areas is informatics and computer technology. We can create devices which make instant communication from big distances possible. We can see each other and talk to each other almost as if the other person were right next to us."

"Wow! That's fascinating! We don't have magic that advanced yet. We could learn a lot from your "technology", as you named it."

"Says the alicorn with the ability to travel through different realities, can teleport, levitate and make herself invisible. None of these has been achieved by us so far. At least we have vehicles and advanced communication devices. Now come with me, please."

I set up Skype and connect Adam.

"Hey dude."
"WHAAAAAAT?"
"Adam, let me introduce you Princess Twilight Sparkle from a different reality."
"Hi!"
"Um. Hi. You don't happen to be THAT Princess Twilight Sparkle from My Little Pony?"
"What is My Little Pony? I am from Planet Equis, from a country named Equestria."
"No. This cannot be. They are real?"
"Seems like. That's what I have told you. The characters of this show apparently are very much alive and existing."
"Well, shit. That's a lot to take in. But how did she get here?"
"I wanted to teleport to the moon and back, but my spell spiraled out of control. All I remember is suddenly waking up in this strange world, than Dave found me."
"To the moon? Maybe you should have asked Princess Celestia, she has more practice with these kinds of things."
"Hey! Don't you talk about her like this!"
"Why not? It is true. She is the only one who could send another pony there. As for the return part, though... You may be stuck there for a while."
"Hey! This is not funny!"
"Alright you two, don't get distracted. We should figure out a solution."
"Fiiine."
"Fine."
"Any suggestions dude? Use your brony powers maybe?"
"That's not how it works! But, I may have and idea. Twilight, you are the bearer of the Element of Magic, right?"
"How should you know that?"
"Suffice it to say that there is a cartoon series going on about you. You are sort of well known by fans of the show, like me."
"So it IS true after all? It is the same show you have mentioned, Dave?"
"Yes it is."
"Alright. Key point is, you are one of the Element Bearers. You have proven years over years that your friendship with each other is stronger than anything, right?"
"Of course it is! I miss them so bad! I'm so sorry I failed them! Again! I don't want to get stuck and die here!"
"There is a chance that you won't. I don't know how this works, but maybe you should try to use your Element. Perhaps that would reconnect you with your friends?"
"I don't have it with me!"
"Twilight. You should know better than anypony that the power of the Elements is not within the necklaces themselves, but within the Bearers, you. Think of your friends! I bet they miss you just as bad as you miss them."

"Nice work, Adam!"

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!!!!"
"YOU FELT IT TOO? WHAT IS GOING ON?"
"Pinkie?"
"Calm down, Adam and Dave. There is no need to freak out. Adam, you are my favorite brony ever! And Dave, thank you for taking care of Twilight!"
"No way. These ponies can use telepathy from over a different world?"
"Of course silly! Twilight has told me about her plan prior to asking help from Starlight. She Pinkie promised that she would come back! And no pony, i repeat NO PONY breaks a Pinkie promise!"
"Pinkie!! I am so sorry! Please forgive me! I was a very bad pony! (I can't help smiling at that.) I will never experiment with spells this dangerous again!"
"I am not mad at you Twilight. I know it was an accident. But I was so sad when I lost track of you! Thank you Adam and Dave for helping us reconnect! Yaaaaay!"
"WHAT THE FUCK???"
"I don't know man, but I am already beyond the point of giving a shit. Teleporting ponies using telepathy, who gives a care if suddenly a pink foreleg pops out of both of our monitors and gives us something akin to a hug? At least it didn't kill us."
"Ooopsie! Sorry about that! So Twilight, are you ready?"
"Yes. I'm ready. Goodbye Adam, goodbye Dave!"
"Bye Twilight!"

Suddenly both pink forelegs latch on Twilight, and pull her through my monitor, back to Equestria, I guess.

"Dude. That was some REALLY weird shit."
"I know, right? We should totally tell this to Jason."

THE END

Author's Note

Any guesses where Twinkle Sprinkle has come from? Now you know.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tA5IJi5yJC0