FLUTTERSHY TRIES NOT TO DIE
Just outside of Ponyville, in a cottage lived Fluttershy. She was shy. Do you know what else she was? SHE WAS LATE FOR EATING PRACTICE! Eating practice was extremely important to Equestrian culture and if she didn't go to eating practice, she would DIE! Dying without a license was made punishable by a 500 bit fine due to how sad dying made ponies.
"Oh no! I need to get to eating practice before I die! If I die I will get a fine because I don't have a license!" Said Fluttershy, frantically getting her eating practice supplies and sprinting out the door.
500 bits was a lot for Fluttershy because she had no job. Why she isn't homeless is unknown. Maybe she mooches off her friends for money? Maybe Rainbow Dash taught her a thing or two about tax evasion. Whatever the case, she had no job to pay for a dying fine.
Not long after the shy yellow pegasus ran out the door, she noticed a rock on the ground. This terrified her because she knew that if she tripped over that rock, she could DIE and dying is illegal without a license! With her quick thinking, she cleverly walked around the rock. She thought about flying to eating practice, but she knew that if she did, she could fall from the sky and die, so she had to walk, no running or flying allowed, she could die.
Five minutes into her perilous journey to eating practice, the shy pony noticed a puddle right by the bridge that helped ponies cross the river that was in Ponyville. This was a very dangerous puddle. She once read somewhere that a pony could easily drown in a teaspoon of water. And if it is on the Internet, it must be true.
"I'll have to somehow get rid of the water." The shy one said.
She grabbed some flex tape and put it over the puddle. And thus the puddle was destroyed.
Looking over it, she put on a pair of sunglasses and said something really cool. "That's a lot of damage."
It was cool because she had sunglasses and sunglasses were really cool. And also she was wearing a leather jacket with the words 'Cool Dude' on the back of it and that made her look so cool! There was no one cooler than her because Fluttershy was really cool and being cool is cool! After a few minutes of being cool, she ran into a random pony.
"Oh no, a stranger. My mother told me that strangers were dangerous and had to be stopped!" Fluttershy exclaimed.
The stranger spoke up. "I'm not sure that's what she mea-"
Before he could finish the final word of his sentence, Fluttershy ran off because strangers are dangerous and they kill things and stuff, which is illegal, but criminals don't care because strangers are dangerous. After running a few feet, Fluttershy stopped and pulled a television from her saddlebag.
"Time for a commercial break!"
On the television, a commercial played.
MONDAY! MONDAY! MONDAY! IT IS MONSTER TRUCK MONDAY! WE HAVE BIG MONSTER TRUCKS WITH BIG WHEELS! THEY CRUSH TINY CARS AND STUFF! IT'S REALLY COOL BECAUSE I AM MANLY AND I HAVE A MANLY VOICE! COME ON DOWN TO MONSTER TRUCK MONDAY HOSTED AND PROVIDED BY IRON WILL!
Fluttershy turned off the television and hit it with a bat because too much television could rot the brain and if her brain rotted, she would die and dying is illegal. She would have to pay a 500 bit fine!
Fluttershy stopped for a moment and thought about how she could avoid dying. She then realized that heroes in movies would give an inspiration speech and then they would succeed in their task. This was a foolproof plan. She went over the town hall that was in the center of Ponyville and gave her speech.
"Listen up everypony! I am Fluttershy and I live in an awesome cottage and I am really cool because I am the protagonist and that makes me really cool. I'm so cool that the writer of this fanfiction even wrote me out of character. Dying is horrible! It is illegal! And you can be fined up to 500 bits. The solution to the problem is not dying. We shall rise up from our seats and declare war on things that are dangerous! We will ban water because someone could drown it! We will ban diapers because they smell really bad and someone could die from the smell, I saw it in a cartoon once! We will ban trees because they could fall on someone and make a pony die! And most importantly, we will ban LEGOS because they are a choking hazard!"
Hearing this inspirational speech, all the ponies of Ponyville cheered. "Fluttershy! Fluttershy! Fluttershy! Fluttershy!"
And with that, Fluttershy crowd surfed all the way to eating practice. Once she made it to eating practice, she walked in to see a group of ponies at a table.
"Ah, Fluttershy. You are just in time to learn how to eat hotdogs. They are known to be eaten by ponies with advanced levels of eating skills." Said a dark pink pony.
"I'm glad I could make it, Cheerliee." Fluttershy gladly exclaimed.
Fluttershy picked a hotdog and started eating. This went well at first, but after her second bite, she choked to death on the hotdog.
"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND, FLUTTERSHY!? DYING IS ILLEGAL!" Cheerliee screamed. "GUARDS! GUARDS! THIS PONY JUST DIED WITHOUT A LICENSE!"
And with that, the royal guards kicked down the door.
"We are writing you a ticket for dying. That is illegal. Now sign this ticket." The first guard said.
Fluttershy in all of her deadness looked at the guard. "I am not driving, I am traveling. I know my rights!"
Then Fluttershy got tased and put in jail for five minutes in the timeout corner. And so the one who was a hero has become a criminal for dying without a license. It was a serious crime and she had paid the price for it. Then she got out on parole because the legal system does that at times.