Impermanence

by take flight

Rating: teen
Tags: Sad, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 3258

Twilight and Luna seek an escape from their lives and find something greater.

A scientist seeks growth and despises stagnation. Five years in Ponyville has been long enough, and Twilight Sparkle is searching for an out. She jumps on the opportunity to travel under Princess Luna's personal tutelage. Things invariably go wrong.

Published 2012-09-08 06:34:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-08 06:34:02 UTC

Correspondence

Twilight wanted to curl into a tight ball, wrap her hooves around her body, and cry.

The day had been going well. Spike tagged along with Rarity on a shopping trip, Rainbow Dash was training, Pinkie Pie had a large order to deal with. She had important work to do, and relished this day for many months. She even had it on her calendar and everything.

But fate had some other plans in the form of a dozen screaming fillies and foals. Mrs. Cheerilee gave Twilight a wide smile, the young ones filling in behind her like a herd of sheep. Loud, noisy, destructive sheep.

“Would you mind if we stopped by the afternoon?” asked the schoolteacher.

Twilight sighed. Curse the responsibilities of maintaining a public library. Curse it all. But to Cheerilee, she was smiling sweetly. “Come right in,” said Twilight.

The two watched as the fillies and foals tore through the aisles of library. Books was grabbed from the shelves and manhandled before being discarded brusquely on the nearest available surface. It almost brought Twilight to tears. Twice, she had to stop herself from nuking the lot of them. Her horn sparked with nervous energy and she was developing a twitch in her left eye.

“Angels, aren’t they?” said Cheerilee. Twilight wondered if she was joking, but the schoolteacher’s face was the epitome of serenity. She wouldn’t be cleaning up this mess.

They watched as Scootaloo clobbered a snickering Diamond Tiara over the head with The Definitive Equestrian Encyclopedia of Rashes and Skin Infections, Vol. 2. It was a limited edition and signed by the esteemed author, who happened to be a dear family friend.

Twilight ground her teeth together, imagining the screams of the children as they ran from an ursa major. That was a bit harsh, she thought. Maybe a manticore.

When the storm finally passed, Twilight surveyed the scene for survivors and set up a mobile triage center for damaged and distressed books. Pages were bent, spines were broken, and covers were stained with the grease of young children. The destruction was beyond comprehension.

The librarian worked tirelessly through the afternoons. Books were strewn across the floor in various states of semi-repair. Some were dripping fresh glue. Others bore crisp new spines and covers, sutured on by neat black thread. She was now sure she had an eye twitch, and perhaps a nervous tic of her tail also. Maybe she was developing Pinkie Sense.

Twilight sighed for the umpteenth time and eyed the clock, noting sadly that it was well into the night. A few slivers of moonlight peaked through the shades, lending some natural light to the empty library. She rubbed her temples with her hooves, attempting to focus on rebinding the pages of Natural Flight: A Wonderbolt’s Journey.

She closed her eyelids and felt immediate relief for her aching eyes. Her throat was parched and Spike would normally have a pot of tea ready by this time. Twilight’s face twisted into an uncharacteristic scowl as she glanced at the clock again- where was that dragon?

Once a mug of fragrant tea was the table, her mind wandered to more pressing concerns. The books could wait. Maybe she would put all the damaged goods on a separate cart and donate it to the classroom. Yes. She added the task to a mental checklist and took a dainty sip of tea.

It was time to confront the elephant in the room head-on. Twilight sighed inwardly and her mind immediately created a plethora of excuses. Despite her organized nature, she was an expert procrastinator and, at any given moment, create a dozen reasons not to do something she should be doing. If she wasn’t the element of magic, she could be the element of slacking off.

She unfurled a long scroll, taking a deep breath and savoring the woodsy, clean musk of new paper. It was one of the perks of living in a library. Sometimes Spike would catch her eyes closed and snout deep in a new hardback. One of life’s few, simple joys.

She knit her brows in concentration, plucking a quill into the air and carefully dipping it until a well of ink. It hovered an inch from the paper.

Nothing.

How do you start a letter like this? Dear Princess Celestia, I’ve grown bored of life in Ponyville and wish to drop everything and travel and conduct experiments and discover myself on a life changing journey?

It was going to be a long night.

She grasped the mug with an aura of purple energy and brought it to her lips. She took a long sip. It’s normally delicate and flavorful floral bloom tasted bitter and astringent in her mouth, and she decided instead to brew some coffee. It was going to be a long night.

Once a few mugs of caffeine were in her system, Twilight knew exactly was she was going to write. The jitteriness and anxiety were well worth the raw creative passion coffee granted, and she was a seasoned expert at harnessing caffeine's many properties. Her eyes were rimmed with red and narrowed in deep concentration. The quill danced quickly, deftly, guided by an unwavering purple magic. It moved with purpose.

It had been a long time since she wrote something so emotional. As sentences turned into paragraphs, she felt her reservations disappearing. It was painful to write, but her inner secrets were worse.

A slamming door briefly interrupted her focus. She made the snap decision to summon a gust of wind, snuffing her candles out of existence. There was the sound of a young dragon tip-toeing up the stairs, tiny claws scrabbling against wooden floorboards. When she finally heard Spike’s bedroom door close with a tiny creak, she relit a single flame.

She blinked at the sudden light and touched her cheek with surprise. Tears dripped freely from her eyes. She rescued the letter, quickly rolling it up and sealing with a stamp of hot wax while tears blurred her vision. Spike would send it next morning, oblivious.

Her bones ached and her mind begged for sleep, but her limbs seemed fastened to her chair. It was oak and it matched her desk. Her parents gave it two her two Hearth’s Warming Eves ago.

Exhausted, she rested her forehead against her cool desk and slipped into sleep. She didn’t dream often, and tended to take them seriously. She had studied the works of Sigmare Freud.

In the dream, she the soaring skyline of Manehatten, tall buildings extending their graceful silver arms into the sky. They were waving to her, saying ‘hi.’

-

Twilight and Spike were working in tandem, shelving books at a record pace and organizing a new delivery. Spike usually kept up a steady stream of patter while they worked, but today the dragon was silent. Every so often he would give Twilight a sidelong glance and quickly look away, thinking the unicorn hadn’t noticed.

She was stupid.

Finally, she had enough. Propping a shelf of encyclopedias with her hoof, she asked, “So, how was your day out with Rarity? Have fun?”

“Oh, uh, yeah! It was great! We went to this fabric warehouse and I to hold all of her stuff while she chose the colors! Once she asked me for advice on whether or not this magenta matched with this lace she was thinking about buying, and...” It seemed to do the trick. Spike’s shoulders loosened and his voice became more animated and they worked well into the afternoon.

She was waiting for a green, fiery belch from the belly of her young assistant. It never came. For dinner, they cooked together, preparing homemade pasta. They splashed water at each other and got flour on their faces.

They ate in companionable silence, the only noise the sounds of their own slurping. When there was a sudden, sickening crash from the library’s main room and the sound of shattering glass, both looked at each other and burst into laughter.

“You know, I could have totally made that turn if this stupid bird didn’t get in the way and distract me! Ow, hey!” The pegasus squirmed in her seat, her wings flicking the air and twitching with agitation.

“Mhm, Dash, now keep still. This might sting a bit.” Twilight sopped up blood from Dash’s cyan fur with a web cloth, applying a layer of antiseptic before deftly bandaging it. She stepped away, pleased with her handiwork.

“Now, Dash, I know you love flying at night, but going over well lit areas simply isn’t safe,” said Twilight. She had a serene, placating smile and the calm, disinterested tone of a teacher that knew nobody was listening to her.

“Yeah, yeah. Thanks Twi! Once I get this blind triple-back corkscrew down, you’ll know why I practiced so hard on it! I should probably get goin- ow!” Dash’s front knee buckled and she stumbled. Twilight and Spike were at her side at an instant, guiding the pegasus back to her chair.

“Owowow, Twi, that window was a lot painful-er than it looked.”

Twilight inspected the limb carefully, prodding it with an exploratory hoof and earning another yelp. “In my expert opinion, I say that you probably should stop doing that. Don’t worry, you can stay overnight. We still have the blankets and pillows from last time.”

-

“So Twi, do you have a special somepony?”

“Hm?” Twilight peered over a cookbook, her horn glowing as she stirred a saucepan of melted chocolate. S’mores made impromptu sleepovers with injury-prone pegasi much easier to deal with. Not that she didn’t appreciate Dash’s company, she reminded herself. A friend was a friend.

“Y’know. A coltfriend. Or, y’know, a marefriend, if you’re into that kind of st-”

“No.”

A pause.

“Oh.”

-

“Do you ever feel like you’re not actually living? That you’re just going through the motions of life? That there’s something else out there beyond Ponyville?

“Sweetie, you sound stressed out. Would you like to join me and Fluttershy on our spa visit? We have one coming up tomorrow,” said Rarity. Her body was hidden beneath a mound of fabrics that flew haphazardly around the room. Twilight ducked to avoid an errant pair of scissors that whizzed by her face.

“Oh, I’ll definitely consider it. Thanks for helping me out! I have to get going now.” She scampered to the exit before she risked the chance of injury. Rarity didn’t have the best control over flying magical projectiles.

“No problem, no pony should have to go out looking like that!” called out the fashionista, earning herself an eye-roll and snort from the departing librarian.

-

“I dunno, do you ever feel just...lost sometimes?”

Twilight could tell that Applejack was weighing the question heavily because she paused after taking a swig of cider, swishing the liquor in her mouth with a thoughtful look in her eyes. At least, it looked thoughtful.

“Yeah, Twi. I guess. Farm work isn’t like other ponies think. Long hours, hard labor, mind-numbing work. The days kind of just seem to flow in and out of each other. A pony can get mighty depressed sometimes. Is this what you wanna to talk ‘bout?”

“Exactly! Well, almost. I jus’ feel like there’s more out there. We aren’t defined by our professions, are we?”

The earth pony shrugged, taking a chug of the last icy dregs of cider and slamming the mug on the table. “I dunno. It’s not like we have much choice. Jus’ the way things are. I don’t worry too much ‘bout it, and I reckon you should do the same.”

Twilight took a cautious sip of cider. It was sweet and crisp and burned wonderfully on the way down, creating a warmth that emanated from the pit of her stomach. She changed the subject, but every so often she would get a faraway look in her eyes and leave the conservation behind.

Applejack thought the alcohol was getting to the lightweight unicorn, and chuckled to herself.

-

Sleeping was a waste of time. Once, when she was a young filly, she stayed up for three nights studying. Her parents found her with her face pressed into a book. When she finally awoke, she was sternly reprimanded about the dangers of exhaustion and was warned never to do something like that again. She nodded her head, agreed, and continued staying late.

Her bedroom was a continuation of her study. Books and papers were strewn across the desk and covered every inch of the floor. A quill and inkpot were conveniently situated on the nightstand, should she find the need to jot down a note or capture a fleeting dream.

But tonight, none of this appealed to her. She tossed and turned, listening to Spike’s heavy snores from down the hall. She tried not to think about the little dragon- it hurt her.

The room was hot, the product of a summer heatwave that ravaged Ponyville. She could feel her pulse pounding in her head, a probable combination of cider and pending heatstroke. After an hour, she threw off the covers with a shriek of annoyance and lay there, panting slowly.

She cracked open a window, feeling the refreshing the night wind cool her sweat-soaked body. Her fur was matted at odd angles, her mane messy and unkempt. Feeling her eyelids grow heavy, she snuggled into a pillow and slowly released her mind.

“Twilight Sparkle.”

“Mmmph. Five more minutes, Mom,” mumbled Twilight into her pillow. The air was so cold and refreshing on her fur and she snuggled deeper into her sheets, grinding her hot body against the bed.

“Twilight Sparkle.” The voice was sterner this time, laced with authority.

It took a moment for her brain to boot up. When the wires finally crossed, the purple unicorn jolted upright in bed, eyes wide as saucers. “P-princess Luna?”

The alicorn raised an arched eyebrow and ruffled her wing feathers delicately.

“Ah, uh, sorry! I was just about to go to sleep and you woke me up and, uh, you sound like my mom.” finished Twilight lamely. “Ahem. So what brings you here, princess?”

Luna allowed a smile to blossom on her face. She drew the curtains widely and revealed a glowing full moon. She gingerly maneuvered to Twilight’s bedside, stepping over a myriad of fallen books. “No worries, Twilight Sparkle. I regret approaching you in this manner, and I hope you are not disturbed too much by my presence.”

Thoughts moved sluggishly through Twilight’s mind. She had been hoping for something extraordinary to happen, but this situation wasn’t exactly on her wishlist. “I-er - so how can I help you?”

“Come outside with me. I do not wish to wake the dragon.”

-

“Please, call me Luna.”

“Okay Pr- Luna. So what’s this all about?” They were on a back trail that meandered toward the Everfree Forest. The wind was cool and the moon was warm, emitting golden glow that seemed almost uncharacteristic.

The pair stopped near a small clearing where a babbling brook met a churning creek. Twilight hated the sound of running water. It reminded her of the days when her parents forced her to “be social” and “meet friends” by the riverbank near her house. She would hide beneath a dense thicket, sweating profusely and hating life.

“I will cut to the heart of the matter. You are not happy. I have read your most recent correspondence with my sister and I can aid you,” said Luna.

“You, uh, did-” said Twilight, her heart sinking.

“My sister and I had a falling out recently. I admit what I did was not savory, but I am a pony that seizes the initiative. Here.”

A scroll appeared into existence with a cloud of blue smoke. It dropped to the ground and rolled a bit. Twilight’s heart sank when she saw the broken crimson seal. “You read it,” she said dully.

Luna did her best attempt at a comforting touch, patting Twilight’s back with her wing. The unicorn winced and would find a bruise there the next morning. “Have no worries, Twilight. I am a keeper of secrets, as well as a purveyor of them. I know your pains well.”

Twilight’s head swam. She lurched from side to side, thankful for Luna’s sudden support. Maybe if she closed her eyes she would be back in her own bed and none of this would have happened. This could be a dream, right? She closed her eyes.

Nothing.

“Is something the matter, Twilight?” Luna’s face was closer now. Her deep, blue eyes seemed to sparkle like gems in the moonlight. They were empathetic and soft and perfectly oval shaped. Twilight caught a whiff of jasmine and something floral from her starry mane. Luna’s scent would make excellent tea.

“I, er, no. I’m fine. But, Luna, I still don’t understand what this is about. You steal Celestia’s mail? Is this a regular thing?” The unicorn bit her tongue and winced, immediately regretting her words.

Instead she heard a chuckle- soft, gentle, and a little bit tomboyish. “Like I said, Twilight. We had a... minor disagreement and I decided to take matters into own hoofs,” said Luna.

“I still don’t understand,” said Twilight.

“We did not see eye to eye on the matter of your education,” said Luna.

“Mine?”

“To be more specific- Celestia is not teaching you. You aren’t reaching your full potential. Let me be very blunt, Twilight Sparkle. You are an overachiever. Since you were a filly, you’ve only known the difference between working hard and slacking off. Ponyville, while it was initially a novel and delightful experience, is now your prison. Your wonderful friends have become husks with stale personalities. You crave excitement, romance, and opportunity. An escape. And I have come here offering that.”

Luna’s tone was slow, even, measured. She paused every so often, gauging the young unicorn’s reaction before continuing. When she finished, the pair were silent. Twilight mulled over her thoughts, carefully selecting her next words.

“So you want me to drop everything and be your student,” said Twilight. She matched the princess’s calm tone, but she couldn’t keep a hint of incredulity and...excitement? from her voice.

“No. I do not wish for you to cut all of your ties. I do not seek to be your mentor, at least by Celestia’s definition of the word.” Luna motioned toward a narrower, dirt path that took them deeper into the Everfree. “Let’s keep walking. We have much to talk about.”

They walked side-by-side, Luna’s flanked pressed against Twilight’s. The path seemed to extend forever, but even as the woods grew thicker the air still glowed with moonlight.

The conversation turned to lighter topics and Twilight was thankful. How long did they talk- minutes? hours? At one point, nearly overcome with exhaustion, Twilight blinked and the dark world of the Everfree slipped away.

She woke up to a beam of sunlight streaming from open curtains, completely rested for the first time in months. Her heart sank. There was a crisp, new scroll on her nightstand, bearing the proud insignia of Princess Celestia.

To my ever faithful student Twilight Sparkle,

I admire your bravery and forthrightness in dealing with this matter. I imagine it is not easy.

That being said, I understand your concerns. I believe my sister Princess Luna will have contacted you. I encourage you to use your best judgment and seek out new opportunities, but remember the lessons you’ve learned in Ponyville.

You have my blessing.

Your mentor,

Princess Celestia