Astock was referred by many as 'the drunkards ditch', as it was built out of a large mining ditch that was as converted into an oil field for a few years before it ran dry and they abandoned it pre-war. It was where people went to conduct shady business and be blind both in soul, and actually blind due to alcohol poisoning. There was a street of frame houses on the northern side of the town, that had been turned in to homes and businesses, casino's, saloons, all the poisons of the soul as Kale put it, you would never think a reverend would pass the special forces enlistment but you never know.

"Well, it has it's charms," I said to Alya as she looked grimacing over the town. "deep down, somewhere in the muck I'm sure." I added seeing a working mare pull a stallion behind an alley. I walked froward and went into the westernmost saloon, the only one that seemed somewhat reputable in my previous visits. It was whitewashed and splintering on the front, the glass lose in the windows, Though still miraculously there. And emblazoned on the buildings aged facade it said:
'Goldstar Saloon & Hotel'

I pushed open the doors to Goldstar and walked in, I was ignored by the patrons, unlike in the western stories Arch used to read. I walked to a table at the back with Alya and sat down, she had changed out of her suit and was now in some Molerat hide trousers and a Radstag skin jacket over an old flannel shirt. A stallion came round dressed in a old butler uniform that fit him badly on the shoulders.

"A bottle of Gin please, and what do you want Alya?" I asked casually looking at her she jumped slightly and replied,

"Just black tea please." and looked back around as the stallion left, He came back a minute later and placed both drinks before us.

"Twenty caps." He grumbled out looking tired. Tea's gone up again I thought quietly as i pulled some caps from my saddlebags giving him ten extra as a tip. I may not like ponies, but a tip is common courtesy. I grabbed the blue bottle that held my gin and poured it into my a metal flask I found in my house in Goodwater and began drinking what remained in the bottle tucking away the flask in my other pocket, opposite my sunglasses.

We were sitting in silence for about seven minutes when I heard a stallion's conversation that peeked my interest,

"Yeah, shot her seventy-six times before she fell down. Guess the rumors were true about her being tough, I took most of her stuff then left her out near where that robot lives. I left my pistol with her body as a calling card, I wish I kept it though, I loved that pistol." I rose from my chair and walked over to the stallions table and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Hello again, I believe you and I, have unfinished business." I said darkly, he shuddered as he hear my voice and slowly turned around, his eyes becoming pinpricks as he layed his eyes on me.

"Hello d-doll, h-how you been?" He asked weakly. I smiled at him slightly causing him to relax then frowned and slammed him against the wall and pulled out my pistol pressing it against his forehead. Everyone in the saloon stopped and some rose from their chairs, the ones at the stallions table stayed sat down, fear in their eyes.

"Give me a good bloody reason why I shouldn't kill you right fucking now!" I screamed at him making him wince.

"W-well you don't look any worse-for-wear, so how about we just call this as a little mishap and forget no harm do-" I pressed down the crystal on my bracelet and he stopped and quietly went '*meep*'.

"I lost my face, vocal cords, organs, ribs and bones and had them all replaced, all because of you. So, where's that reason. Cause I need a reason not to give the wall behind you a new coat of paint." I asked my digitized voice echoing through the saloon.

"It was Eisca! She wanted the chip you had the one for the missile system! She paid us to get it from you, i'm sorry please don't kill me, I want to live!" He cried pulling himself into a ball covering himself with his fetlocks, or at least trying to. I dropped him to the floor and walked back from him looking at him like a piece of muck on my hoof. He looked flabbergast and smiled widely.

I shot him in his back leg and walked away, Alya following.

"Seventy-Five!" I yelled back to him as I left letting him know what was going to happen.

We went through the doors and into the main street, I pressed down the crystal again, activating the spell. We continued down the main street until we got to the entrance of the town, and I turned to Alya.

"Sorry, about that. That wasn't planned sort of just happened, didn't know he would be here, what do you want to do then?" I asked her calmly. She looked at me curiously then said.

"You are not like Sam described you, your not harsh, and angry and irritable your actually, at least now when your talking to me, but when with ponies, your like how he described you." She said, placing a paw under he jaw.

"I just don't like ponies. Nothing more." I said honestly. She studied me for a moment then nodded,

"OK."

We spent roughly ten minuets looking for a different place to have a drink, believing that we should avoid Goldstar for the moment, when we found an empty building with chairs out front under a veranda with a fan, long broken. We sat under it and I pulled out the bottle of gin and resumed drinking it. Alya pulled out a worn flask and began sipping it the aroma of black tea wisping from it in the breeze.

"So," she asked tapping her flask awkwardly "Who's Eisca?" She asked curiously.

"Small time crime boss. Wants to control the region and tried multiple times to attack the Enclave and take it over." I said calmly swigging my gin. "Really odd mare, she acts like one of the villains from the old Silver Shroud broadcasts. You ever heard those? We used to pick them up from the, oh what's it called now, the Commonwealth? Yeah that's it. But yeah she is quite insane tried to take over a nuclear power facility a year ago, didn't work of course but she tried, it went into meltdown and one of the reactors blew and she got caught in it, I saw her running away from it though, guess she must have has some powerful RAD-X." I responded calmly as I finished my drink and chucked away the empty bottle into the mining pit, hearing a satisfying 'CLINK' as it hit the bottom. Alya looked bewildered at m and asked,

"How did you see that she left the power plant?" I looked back her casually and said,

"Who do you you think caused the meltdown, I tampered with it when she wasn't looking and she thought that no-one had been there and that it had been left preserved after the war and didn't check. To be fair to her though, it was untouched when I found it." She looked incredulously at me then shouted,

"You blew up a Nuclear Power Plant?! How!"

"I just broke the emergency shutdown terminal and tore out the cooling systems. Not that hard, I left after that and sealed the door to that room behind me so she couldn't fix it." I replied calmly waving my wing dismissively. She looked at be blank faced then sighed.

"So, this mare, Eisca and you are in this grand pissing match of nearly killing each other horribly for some reason that I doubt you will explain, so why did she want the chip, really?" She asked rubbing her forehead with a paw as she gulped from her flask.

"No clue, can't remember the week before I got shot, total blank. Sides it'll be someone else's problem soon enough, let them 'be the hero' oh, maybe they can have a conference with Security and The Lightbringer about heroism and causing almost as many problems as they fix." I replied finishing bitterly.

She stayed silent for a bit and then said looking like something had dawned on her.

"Oh, your Enclave aren't you. I see why you don't like the Stable Dweller." I looked sourly at her then replied,

"That isn't the only reason. I abore the idea of heroes, I believe more in community service to a greater good. Not some crazy idea that a great task should be taken by one person and leave it up to that, it's idiotic!" I pulled out a piece of dust weed from my pocket and rolled it, lighting it with my decorated zippo lighter, They are nearly impossible to find now.

"Smoking's really bad for you you know." She chided and I responded exasperatedly with,

"It's dust weed, it creates oxygen when burned, and a powerful antiseptic, used for infections, it also helps for when you have lung cancer or stuff like that, it is sort of like taking a multivitamin tablet with some antibiotics. Burning it makes it so it is taken in faster than when you chew it." She stopped her herself from further chiding and went silent then said,

"So that's why dad smoked those when he was i'll. I just thought he was idiotic. I fell bad now." She added curling up slightly, I patted her back with my wing as I breathed in the dust weed, feeling my lungs lift and my throat stop being aching, old wounds will I guess, and they technically are.

We left Astock shortly after, we were walking down to Malakiet when we saw a mare in the middle of the road, she had a white coat with a red and salmon mane and white eyes, only slightly different from her scleras.

"Dammit," I said tiredly. Looking ahead at the mare, she hadn't noticed us yet thankfully.

"What?" Alya asked curiously, seeing the mare before us.

"Doesn't matter, hide behind those rocks don't come out, I mean it." She ran quickly behind the rocks and looked slightly from the farthermost edge, where there was a break in the rocks. I approached the mare ans he quickly saw me and ran to me and shouted,

"Aha! My great enemy we meet again, you have not fallen I see, good! I doubted you would die but it's good that I am assured that my intellect is once again proven correct." Eisca shouted holding a hoof in the air as she looked at the sky.

"Hello Eisca." I replied flatly

"It looks like we shall have a great conflict today the land here will forever be scorched by our Monumentous struggle our battle will be le- hey is that dust weed?" Her tone shifted entirely as she saw the dust weed in my mouth

"Yep. Want a bit?" I asked boredly

"Oh, yes please." She replied happily. I pulled out some of it from a satchel and she took it in her white coloured magic, and rolled it lighting it with using a spell. She had a draw of it and said. "Thanks, I got an lung infection a few weeks ago when I fell on a rusty guider at the BLU corp building, I tried to get it treated at Falsespkarks, but they refused for some reason." Ending her statement with a curious tone.

"Did you attack them before that?" I asked flatly.

"Yes, I nearly won too, but then the tank ran out of petrol and we had to retreat." She said dismissively, slightly bitterly.

"Why would they help you then? Also it's gas, or gasoline, not petrol." I said groaning.

"Fair point, well the moods out so how about next time. We shall soon face my dear foe, and our battle will be remembered for millennia to come, fire will rain from above, the ground will be torn apart and scorched the world forever changed!" She then looked around and added. "Even more than how it is now!" and walked of, laughing maniacally.

"See you then." I yelled after her. Alya walked up beside me after she had seen Eisca leave, and looked curiously at me and asked.

"Why didn't you fight? You could probably beat her without trying." I looked at her for a moment then looked forward again then replied,

"She wasn't exaggerating about what would happen when we fought," To this she looked at me shocked and worried but I quickly replied with, "we aren't superheroes we just wouldn't go down, we would keep getting back up, plus we have some heavy weaponry at out disposal so that is something as well." I finished ending the conversation.

"Heavy weaponry like what?" She asked as we started to Malakiet again.

"Well I can't show all my cards to you can I? But I can tell you I have access to the ponymedes orbital later system. Horrible name for it though, I'd have called it the Pythagoriam Beam. Much cooler, by about 20% at least."

We got to Malakiet again shortly after. Alya thanked me for the drink, and the journey, I nodded and smiled back to her. I'm slightly amazed she didn't asked about my face, but I guess she didn't really care. I walked back to good water after that, I was a mile or two away from Malakiet however when I saw an odd sight there was a dragon, likely a dragoness, pinkish coloured with light blue spikes, dressed in a Stable-Tec salesman jacket, one of my ancestors was one apparently, they kept the jacket. and a stallion with a aquamarine mane and lemon coloured coat with white socks, making him look like a unwrapped sherbet lemon and a red mare with a black and grey mane.

As, I continued to walk towards them the dragoness ran towards me looking aggravated.

"You, please I need you to tell these two that this region doesn't need their help." She said exasperatedly pointing to the other two who were walking up to us now. I regarded them coolly and responded.

"We don't need help." This made a look of superiority appear on the stallions face.

"Ah, but you do madam! We must help this region to rebuild and restore order and government! We must join it with Equestria once agai-"

"We already formed a government, and organised a peace treaty with northern Equestria." I cut him off, this response stopped all of them.

"How do you know?" The red mare asked confoundedly, a Hoofington accent clear on her voice.

"'Cause I'm part of it." I replied simply. I looked them flat on as their expressions shifted.

"Well, I doubt that all listened to this order, you probably need help clearing out the tribals, for which we will take on as our ta-" I stopped him again by responding,

"They all agreed and joined the government, same for the Kirin, Griffons and the Dragons, we also got a note from a zebra settlement they accept being members of the co-coalition." This caused more surprise on the ponies faces but smug knowing on the dragoness,

"See, I told you that they wouldn't need your help, we shouldn't have come here but no Sherbet Treat and Old Coals just had to try and play hero, and drag me along to-boot." She face palmed and groaned "I swear, why do hang around you ponies." I looked at them squinting slightly and said.

"The time for heroes is done." This caused them to start and looked to me confounded "Now is the time for community and working together." The stallion looked at me like I was an idiot then took on a look of pity.

"Ah, you poor soul. So wounded by this treacherous place you don't even realise it, never fear I shall help you." He at this moment held his hoof on the crystal on my fetlock, causing the spell to disable. He jumped back terrified, same for the mare. The dragoness just looked impressed.

"We don't need your help. Everything that lives here, pony or otherwise has earned the right to. You however haven't!" I yelled at him advancing making him back from me till his flank hit a rock and he pressed himself against the rock wincing away from me. "You don't learn all of you do you? You cause problems when you mess with something that isn't you thing to worry about! So I shall give you this great word of advice, from an old Captain. Leave it the FUCK ALONE!" When I finished my rant the stallion was laying down like a puppy trying to get away from me.

The dragoness then put herself between us and announced,

"Alright break it up, break it up. We know what you just said it true Mrs, but Sherbet here was just caught in a delusion, so let him off please." She asked kindly, I looked sourly at the stallion and sneered.

"Fine." I started to walk away when the dragoness called out to me,

"Hey, uh... would you happen to know a place we can rest, Coals here thought we wouldn't need a camp, so we are sort of left high and dry, literally really, so uh... help a gal' out here?" She asked pleadingly. I looked at her scrutinily before arching my head back sighing, and gesturing them to follow.

They followed behind me arguing over where it would be that I was taking them, apparently the dragonnes was called Shortcake, there was something else before it but she refused to tell it and the other two new not to tell. They eventually settled on that I was taking them to some secret Enclave facility and they were going to be ambushed and transported there so that they wouldn't know the location. They had guessed I was Enclave quickly but it didn't seem to bother them, ah a godsend, less talking with those two fucktards, Shortcake was fine but the other two, nah.

We were a mile from Goodwater when the stallion yelled forward,

"Are we there yet?! My hooves are sore!" exasperatedly he sat on his rump rubbing his hooves and fetlocks. I rolled my eyes.

"Another mile left! Sides what are you complaining about, this is a short walk comparatively." I called back. His eyes widened at this and he shouted,

"Short! How?!"

"Big region." I returned. I then noticed something glinting off in the distance, and a dust could buffeting behind it.

"Ah, fuckin' hell." I groaned.

"What is it?" They yelled to me panicked.

"SandWinder, get your weapons out, this will be tricky!" I yelled back pulling my pistol out of it's holster and checking the magazine. I retreated to the other three, weapons drawn, Coals had some sort of combat shotgun with a napalm tank on the front, Sherbet had a sub-machine gun , that was covered in memorabilia, stamps, postcards, and other things and painted like it was a candy jar,in his magical grip. And Shortcake had a long barrelled rifle with bulky recon scope on it, a rum magazine affixed to the bottom.

"So what's a SandWinder?" Shortcake asked as she looked out to the sand cloud. I looked at them deadpan, honestly learn a bit about a region before you come.

"Mutated snakes, can grow up to double size of a skyscraper and as thick as four buses, thankfully this ones a little one, should be easier, can swallow you whole, but the venom is what you need to really watch for. Also don't let it get hold of you, they can crush you in half a second." I said as I steadied myself looking ahead, waiting.

Sherbet turned pale at this and shouted,

"WHY DO YOU LIVE HERE!"

"We have learned to deal with it, the tactics called called "avoid them unless necessary", and we don't want to lead this one to Goodwater."
I yelled back as the clod got closer, we had a minute of silence before we heard it screech, it rose up in our vision, white with a purple underbelly, two foot long fangs from it's mouth.

Gunfire instantly tore out at it wounding it slightly but still not leaving wounds, the three of them ran for cover while I flew up into the air and placed shots at it's head, a round went into it's eye hurting it badly, but not killing it. It lashed out at me more snapping after me, trying to swallow me whole. I continued to fire at it, the others now placing shots at the rest of it distracting it when it lurched forward and snapped me up in it's jaws.

"No! Come on, we need t-" Sherbet began but stopped. I was stood in the SandWinder's mouth, legs stretched holding it's moth open, it's fangs twitching. I loaded my pistol and aimed down it's through and fired, putting round-after-round- after-round into the back of it's throat, it cried agonisingly making my ears ring, and a gurgle came from it as blood poured into its' lungs. It gave out it's death rattle as it collapsed to the ground. I crawled out of its' mouth, taking care to avoid the fangs and walked over to Shortcake and the others.

"Well, that went well." I said looking over their faces, "Well no sense leaving it all for the vultures, come on give me a hoof."
I walked over to the snake and pulled out the fangs, wrapping them in cloth and affixing them to my back. Coals then decided to shout out,

"How the fuck are you alive?!" I looked at her boredly before responding,

"It takes more than that to kill me. Hell getting shot seventy-six times at point blank range didn't kill me, and Digit, Eisca and Duke can vouch that." I looked thoughtfully at the sky for a moment before adding. "Though Duke would refer that wasn't remembered." This only heightened her confusion. She looked overwhelmed for a second before stating,

"You weren't joking. Holy shit" She said whispering the last part. I managed to get them to strip some of the meat of the SandWinder and the venom glands before they couldn't manage anymore. I wiped my sunglasses on a piece of cloth, removing the blood before cleaning the barrel of my pistol and moving on. I was whistling the tune to an opera I saw as a filly when we made it to Goodwater. It was all a flurry with activity, guards moving around, creates running about moving stuff in metal boxes.

"Pilot! There you are!" Oxide yelled to me as we continued closer. "Someone spotted a SandWinder a mile from town we're preparing an attack party and we need you he-"

"Already killed it." I said flatly, this caused everyone to stop still.

"Beg-pardon?" Oxide asked.

"I killed it already with these three, it was around south-east wasn't it? Killed it took some meat and the fangs and venom sacs, left the rest for the vultures and other scavengers. It'll make a good landmark in a few days, the skeletons of those hings are full of resources, iron, steel, crystal. That sort of thing, they got fused to the things when the bombs hit, we might soon have a mining town near here. Well, guess i'll have to deal with m,ore ponies but at least other creatures will turn up as well. Anyway, I promised Sam i'd get his stuff from Malakiet, and I need to return them to him." I finished and started walking of into town before shouting back "Oh and could you deal with these ones, Shortcake, Sherbet, Coals, meet the Mayor of Goodwater, and the pony representative in the coalition government. Bye!"

I had just managed to get into the city when I heard her shout,

"WHAT?!" It echoed through the city as everyone stared moving again, going about their daily business.

I found Sam going near Gold's vendor stall and tapped him on the shoulder with a wing.

"What is it? I told you I'm not paying yo-" He stopped when he saw me and a smile parted his muzzle. "Pilot! Your back!" He said happily taking me up in his arms hugging me to his chest, muffling any reply I could offer. "So how was Alya? What did you do on your trip? How did you kill that SandWinder? What do you think suits me better, Red Orange or Lemon Yellow?" I pushed my muzzle out of his chest with my forehooves and gulped down air before looking at him flatly, he smiled awkwardly before setting me down.

"Okay Fist of, fine seemed happy. I went to Astock with Alya accidentally found the guy that shot me seventy-six times, shot him one in the leg, he still owes me another seventy five, had a chat with Eisca, the crime boss who i'm in a feud with, met some nuts from Equestria who wanted to be this regions heroes, killed a SandWinder came here. Shot it in the neck from it's mouth. Lemon, duh." I finished looking him dead on.

He smiled at me before hugging me again but softer this time.

"No hugging." I said slightly out of breath as he squeezed me. He left me down as we walked to my house, him leaving an orange suit jacket laying on the counter of Gold's stall, Gold himself counting the caps delicately into an old cash register that slammed shut after he put the money in nearly taking of his claws.

We got into my house and I unwrapped the fangs hung on my back affixing them on the mantle crossed against one another. Their were already some mounts so I just locked them in those and walked back to look at it.

"That looks cool." Sam said from behind me.

"Eyup." I responded. I took of my saddle bags and started to remove all of Sam's belongings. When they were all neatly placed on the table, and all the meat placed in the fridge, I pulled out a roll of dust weed and lit it. Allowing myself to calm down. Sam was looking through his stuff after thanking me when he called out.

"Oh hey, it's one of those tapes that Digit said to look out for, ooh what's it for?" He questioned as he rose from the pile, tape in hand.

"No." I said simply causing a disappointed expression to come upon his face.

"Ah why not?" He asked sadly, looking like a puppy that had it's toy taken away.

"Because I said so, now leave it be." I said with a finality, Sam adopted a sly look then said leering at me.

"You're scared aren't you?" My eye twitched and I adopted a furious expression. "Don't worry I'll protect you my little dam-"

"SHUT IT!" I yelled at him blushing, we scuffled on the ground shouting at each other in tribal before we heard a click from the door and we both turned to it. Oxide, Shortcake, Sherbet and Coals stood in the doorway, Nut standing just behind.

"Uhh..." Oxide said from the doorway. Sam decided then to give me a kiss on the nose, throwing me out off it for a sec before he reached behind my head.

Fucking static. Just dull now, suffocating but dull.

I opened my eyes to the sound of a beep, the rest of them standing around me relief on the faces of the Northern bunch. I turned to Sam and said,

"That was dirty." pointing at him with a hoof.

"But effective, 'sides you didn't look displeased." I ignored him and went and sat down.

"So what was the tape for?" Nut asked curiously from the other side of the living room, though he looked more interested in the SandWinder fangs. I looked at him thoughtfully taking a seat away from the rest of them then responding.

"Advanced magical spell trivia and knowledge." I said boredly. Then added smiling slightly. "And some baby pictures of Sam and his sister Alya." To this he turned red then looked at me abject horror in his eyes, as I looked at him maliciously

"Please... no." He pleaded whimpering slightly, his ears drooping.

"You should have expected this." I responded to him, not understood to the others, he then went quiet and we returned our focus to the room.

"So..." Interjected Shortcake, whom instantly looked overwhelmed and stuttered out, "Uh, hah, um.... Sherbet has something he would like to say." Cowardly, smart, but cowardly. Nut's, Oxide's and Sam's eyes then turned to Sherbet who looked panicked but fared better with the pressure.

"W-we would like to thank you for your hospitality. It is greatly appreciated but we must ask why. We didn't do anything to help, we didn't save your tow or do the region a great service why would you help us without condition?" He questioned honestly. I groaned from the corner drawing his attention and responded.

"Honestly what do they do up there, just fill you heads with nonsense from the 'Lighbringers' book? You don't need to do something like that to be treated nice, we are just good people here." I looked over at him making sure he was listening.
"Cut the hero act, it doesn't work anymore. The day of heroes and villains is done." To this his face lit up and he quickly responded with,

"What about that mare who tried to attack that town, what was it called again Falsesparks, came at with an full scale assault but her tank ran out of fuel. She apparently survived a nuclear meltdown, she is like a villain!" He finished looking like he thought he won.

"You mean Eisca, she isn't a big problem, she is too obsessed with me to cause any real problems." This perked the ears of all three of the northerners, and Sam.

"Wait, Eisca is the mare who attacked Falsesparks? You just said she was a crime boss!" Sam yelled out looking slightly stressed.This reaction was quickly overshadowed by Coals shout as she yelled over all of them,

"Your the mare she is in a feud with!?" I simply nodded to this unfazed by her reaction, though everyone else had jumped at this. "So, your the one who has been shot at by missiles, shot seventy six times point blank, killed a hundred mercenaries at cracklin' pass, and all of the other things that happened to her enemy during the feud?!"

"Yep." I responded simply looking at the ceiling as I lay in the sofa, this caused er to go red and she shouted.

"How are you alive?!" exasperation and shock on her face. I turned to her, blank faced and said,

"The same reason why Captain is the highest rank in the Enclave special forces," I then added on, "I am very good at what I do. Why do you think people like Moonshot get nervous when I threaten to reprimand him even though I don't hold any power of them anymore?" They all went silent over this then I added "Also I killed about seventy of them with a small magical warhead under craklin' pass, not a dirty bomb, just something powerful, I just moped up the others."

"....Guess this is what you meant to Alya about how your hardware makes you two fighting dangerous." Oh yeah, guess thy must be able to talk long distance. Probably should have been more secretive, why is it flannel makes someone seem so trustworthy?

"Wait, how did that topic come up between Pilot and your sister?" Oxide asked quizzically. Ah fuck, now this.

"Oh, they met her when they were walking back to Malakiet, apparently Pilot had a chat with her, avoided conflict cause she did't want to cause any destruction, Eisca was apparently quite odd, like a comic book villain mixed with a pre-war business mare when she and Pilot were talking together." He finished happily not knowing the doom he brought.

"You saw her!?" Coals yelled again, looking both exited but terrified.

"Oy vey."

The argument with Coals, her yelling at me, lasted near an hour before she ran out of steam, I tuned most of it out. She stood nearby breathing heavily, looking like she was on fire, ironic given her name.

"Well, guess that's one way to break the ice." Sherbet said a slight bite of worry on his voice. "Oh, and sorry for the nervousness earlier, it's just, we are kinda surrounded by the ponies, uh, creatures who run our country's ally's politics, we don't want to be the cause of a conflict because of what we say." He said innocently. Oxide smiled kindly then put a hoof over his shoulder and said,

"Don't worry, when we come to Pilots house, this is sort of the place we can say whatever we like and not face consequences, sides if Pilot helped you, you must be at least half decent." She then looked at Shortcake then added "Though it might have just been because you were there." This brought on confusion on the faces of the northerners.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Shortcake asked sharply sounding slightly insulted. Oxide took on a worried expression and quickly and nervously stated.

"Nothing! It is just that Pilot hates ponies, and she only really wanted to help you not your companions." This made the three of them look extremely confused. Sherbet was the first to respond.

"I'm sure that isn't true. You would have still helped us right Miss Light?" He asked confidently.

"No, Oxide was right I would have just left you there I said flatly from behind a book I had pulled from a drawer in the coffee table. "And don't call me 'Miss Light' makes me feel old." I added slight irritation in my voice.

"But your forty." Nut called to me drawing the attention of the trio.

"Your forty?" Coals asked bemused a slight gin on her muzzle. I pulled the book from my face and responded,

"Have you killed a Hydra in the last year?" I asked cruelly looking down on her muzzle raised. This caused her snark to dispel and to look away embarrassed. "I thought so."I said squinting my eyes and returning to my book.

They all stayed quit for a while until Shortcake asked,

"So what was that thing when her eyes went blank and the red on went all static'y?" Sam looked at her and responded with,

"It's a buffer mode when we put and information cassette in the enter port on the robotic part of her brain. Se when she got shot by the goons Eisca hired, our friend Digit gave her some robotic parts as transplant, makes her voice all digitised too. You can't see it regularly because of a spell on that bracelet she wears on her hoof." Shortcake nodded slowly taking all this information in. "Also she has a robotic tongue that can extend." This made some of the mares in the room turn slightly red. I glared at Sam and he realised he had lept into more trouble.

"Well, uh, moving on from that... Interesting information. I wanted to ask how you intended to return to Equestria." Oxide asked still blushing. The trio went to a dumbfounded expression and in perfect harmony uttered,

"Uhhhhhh." all slowly looking to the left then biting their lower lip. Oxide looked at them slightly exasperated then returned to a happy expression and said,

"Well, I would suggest going north from here, if you hug the western mountains you should be able to avoid New Marexico city." She looked over them and gauged their expressions looking pleased.

"Why should we avoid the city, wouldn't it be faster to go through?" Asked Sherbet. Nut quickly responded harshly with,

"Faster to death yeah. There is a universal rule in the Dusts, don't go to NMC." He levelled gaze with them then looked at them sadly lowering his head and sighing.

"Sorry just don't like that place." he added sounding wounded. Coals looked at him and kindly asked,

"But what's so bad about it?"

"It's the Hoffington of the Dusts, but worse." I responded sharply, causing her to quickly understand as well as the other two.

"So, are we going on our own or?" Shortcake asked curiously, the other too looking up for the response. This perked the attention of all of us,

"Fuck no!" We all yelled in unison, causing them all to be bowled back slightly.

"We cannot have Equestrian citizens come and perish because of our negligence when we could have helped you, we have to escort you until certain measures are put into place with the leaders up north, we will just have to have someone escort you and since our Guards are a bit caught up at the moment I think Pilot will have to escort you, oh Sam you go too." Oxide said worriedly, then calmed quickly as she gave us orders.

"Pardon?" I asked harshly as I looked over them.

"Uhhh, Oxide I don't think that's the best idea." Sam added quickly looking worriedly over at me. I grinned at him maliciously making him flinch. Our objections were ignored by Oxide, that or she couldn't tell that there would be problems due to the pair-up.

"Nonsense! Come on you two get sorted, oh and you three get some supplies from town, you'll leave at night, you want to avoid the heat spike as much as possible." She then looked over at me then said. "Though I guess that's what you were going to do anyway."

"Yep." I agreed looking at her tiredly, I rose up from the sofa and flapped upright and glided to the kitchen grabbing one of the venom sacs from the fridge and tossing it into a pot on the stove, along with some vodka, whiskey and a Sparkle-Cola Rainbow Crash, I can never bloody find these! and started boiling it, pulling a Sunrise Sarsaparilla from the fridge to sip on while I waited.

"What are you making?" Coals asked from behind me, as she peered curiously in the pot, jumping back as it gave a pop and hopped into the air.

"Home-brew, something I learned when I was nomadding. I make it when I have all the materials, good for a travel drink." I took out a metal spoon from a drawer and stirred the pot, making the pot turn a luxurious gold colour, still fizzing as it boiled.

"Oh, so this is for all of us?" She asked innocently.

"No." I said harshly making her flinch then return to her original pose. She then began to try to avoid eye contact inspecting everything in the room. "Sides," I added after a short while, "takes a little while for some ponies to get used to the SandWinder venom." This made her recoil and shout at me.

"You're drinking that?!" I looked back at her flatly and responded,

"It's quite common, it can be used for lots of things, especially pre-preparing anti-venom." I said using my other wing to gesture to some red needle with black duct tape on the middle and a plastic cap on the end with a picture of creatures on it to symbolise the respective anti-venom. Coals just looked at me oddly then walked away to go and get her supplies sorted out.

They came back an hour before midnight, Sam had got all of the essential and some other stuff to prepare for the journey north, and I had done the same then we turned to look over the other thre-

"What's all this bullshit?!" We both yelled in unison upon seeing the pile of items that they had with them. This startled all three of them making them focus their attention on us.

"You told us to get supplies." Sherbet said simply. My eye twitched slightly and Sam face pawed, dragging his paw slowly over his face in exhaustion.

"We are walking through a desert, you should pack light!" Sam said exasperatedly as he jerked both paws at them while hunched to his sides.

"This is packing light! We have water weapons, ammo, barding, different clothes, medicine, food, reading materiel-" I cur Coals off shouting at her,

"You only need a third of what you have for all three of you!" I quickly sorted through some of the stuff and placed it in three piles. "That is all you need and all you get. Are we clear?" I said agitatedly giving them a looming glare.

"But-" Shortcake began.

"Rhetorical question soldier, do, I, make, myself, clear?!" I shouted in her face making her wilt then fall backwards, but quickly return to upright.

"OK," she then replied, "first of, we're not soldiers. Second, crystal." I nodded to her then left them to their packing. It took them about ten minutes before they had their packs sorted. They came out of the other room to find us sat there with some clothes laid out for them.

"What are these?" Sherbet asked as he looked over the thin white fabric barding and the wide brimmed white hat, cloth draped from the back to protect the neck.

"Your bardings." Sam replied simply from a sofa, his bag sat next to his left leg. This caused the three of them to turn to use surprised and question,

"These? They would hardly stop a breeze let alone a bullet! How come you get some decent protection?" Shortcake asked accusingly.

"Cause we can stand the heat, you would die of exposure without those." I replied sardonically. This stopped their arguments. "We added some leather pads in certain areas that go over the cloth, should be a decent protector, we won't really come up against anything with guns, no-one likes going up north, treacherous terrain, only the toughest creatures inhabit it because the others can't survive, makes it even tougher. " I replied tiredly as they slowly pulled on the barding.

We left twenty minutes later and started from the gate north west we walked for hours without interest, aside from Shortcake and the others complaining every few minutes. I was at my wits end after an hour, they just kept on complaining about the heat and why we didn't just get a sky chariot like the 'Lightbringer' and blah, blah, blah. Honestly how could they talk so much?

Sam was beginning to show that he was sharing my impatience as we continued along, the sun was no beginning to drag itself from the northeast, the trio behind us was now discussing among themselves unconcerning topics and other drivel. I couldn't deal with them anymore when I shouted out to them, though mostly Sam,

"Going to do some scouting from above, bye!" I then launched into the air Sam yelling up to me in tribal,

"Don't leave me with them!" To which I responded from above,

"This is payback!"

I rolled in the air and looked out over the Dusts. It stretched from me like worn leather, brown and sandy scorched by the sun, life struggling to stay, but still very much staying, a great wall of mountains and cliffs stood striped in colours of red, blue, green, and grey. That was one f the greatest sights of the Dusts, the mountains that looked like the evening sky. I looked down to check up on Sam and the others, they were walking as they were before, though Sam looked slightly agitated, Too right! but aside from that all was normal.

A short while later I noticed a group of Claprabbits, I glided down to Sam, just above him.

"Claprabbits ahead." I said flat toned. He nodded and gave me a thumbs up. He held out an arm to stop the trio and silencing them. Both me and Sam then went forward and checked over the foul little creatures, he pulled out a bolt action rifle, the stock made from a ash coloured wood and with silver trimmings, a black boxy recon scope sat proudly on the top.

I drew my pistol and aimed on the head of one of the twitchy little things, raising my win just so he could see it. I slapped it back to my side quickly to signal and we both began firing, Both of our rounds tore into the skulls of our targets, our next few rounds ripping through the others immobilising them, the rest scattered and began running towards us from multiple directions, we didn't falter. We killed of the ones that were out of cover for to long before Sam needed to reload, I quickly slammed in another magazine and flew out over the valley, I fired into the Clap rabbits that were still moving, killing all the ones that remained.

The trio walked out to us in the middle of the small valley as we reloaded and sorted through the bodies of the Claprabbits, looking for some scrap that they had picked up. They looked at the ones spread around the ground and grimaced and Sherbet asked firmly,

"How do is it that you have much more horrific stuff as a commonality?" I turned to him and shouted to him mockingly,

"'Cause the creatures here pre-war were bloody horrific anyway!" I then added on slightly happily "Besides what are you complaining about, you have hardly seen anything yet, there are more things that you don't find up north down here than SandWinders and Claprabbits! And the stuff that you find up north is tougher down here anyway, gets sun scorched and the skin and carapace harden, and they become more viscous if not insane due to heat exposure, much more violent to say the least." This made them wince and look over the Clap rabbits one again.

We got some caps form the Claprabbits, though only a minuscule amount and I managed to get a Sunrise Sarsaparilla star bottle cap. I lost four when that twat at the bar shot me. I liked them, had them set into the stock of my RMCW, a special magical energy weapon that was only developed in the Dusts. Hope I can find it again, this pistol is nice but I have had that since training.

We stopped when it got around midway to rest, Sam called first watch and I pulled our a tarp and set up a small cover connect to a rock, I just got some sticks that were bone dry and used them as posts and helped the tarp on the rock with some small stones. Sherbets' group however just pulled out a small package from their pack and pulled a cord throwing it a few meters away from him. It then bellowed out into a castle of a tent to which they all went inside chatting. Me and Sam looked at each other and rolled our eyes. I layed down, removed my sunglasses and fell into sleeps co- actually not cool, lukewarm maybe, embrace. Sam woke me up a short while after, I rose quickly and nodded to him offering him my bed to which he thanked me. I walked to the shade to look over the site as we waited for the temperature to cool.

We left a few hours later well after the heat spike. I replaced my sunglasses on the muzzle, and walked over to Sam and poked him just above the ribs, stirring him.

"I don't want to go hunting today dad....I'm marrying my pillow." He mumbled out incoherently plagued by sleep.

"Rise and shine, sleepy head, before the sand turn to glass under you." He opened his eyes properly and blushed cutely, what? I see when somethings cute. He quickly got up and I went to the 'Castle of the North' as I have donned it. I tapped on the flap, or would it be door?, of the thing and I heard stirring inside followed by a shout and three thuds. and the sound of groaning.

"Were going, get your stuff sorted then we leave." I shouted in.

"Okay..." A voice groaned out weakly from inside.

The three of then crawled out of their 'tent' looking bedraggled and half dead, their manes matted and sweaty and generally looking like they hadn't slept in days.

I pulled of the tarp that made the roof of my shelter and folded it into my saddle bags. Sam stood watch while the trio pulled down tier tent, it was surprisingly quick, they simply uprooted the metal spikes in the ground and pressed the front of it and it folded back entirely to a small package the side of hoof luggage. We started walking after they had it affixed on Sherbet's back, I pulled out and drank down some of my Home Brew, relishing the taste. I then pulled out a empty Sunrise Sarsaparilla bottle and passed it to Sam with my wing, to which he accepted and drank some down then turreted on it's cap and placed it into his satchel, don't call them purses, they aren't, argued that with Kale and Arch for two days.

We walked on for ages after that, till we came across a blurred skyline to the east scorched both ash black and a pale sun bleached white. Towers rose powerfully then crumbled their crowns smashed in and broken, and other entirely broken away a sickly glow emanating from it, the lights of streets and homes warped by age and balefire.

"Shit...I always forget what it looks like, you wouldn't think you could but..." Sam said looking over at the distant horror that sat patently on the horizon waiting fro prey.

"Best to forget the things that terrify us the most, if we didn't, how could we move on to do something else for fear. There are somethings that you simply cannot overcome." I responded dead-toned. The trio looked over at the horizon nervously, sweat beading on their foreheads, a bead actually formed on Sherbets horn rather comical.

"So," Coals broke in trying to break the ice. "I heard that a long time ago there was a Enclave expedition into New Marexico City, you know anything about it Pilot?" She asked curiously, cocking her head as we walked to look at my expression, I regarded here coolly through my sunglasses, studying her face before responding.

"Should do, I was part of it, before I was captain." This pulled the attention of all of them.

"Seriously? Tell us!" Shortcake asked eagerly and Sam nodded along with her.

"Ve'ra. It was before I got my cutiemark, I was on an expeditionary mission with the previous special forces head and their second in command, we were searching NMC for supplies, the other two got torn up by some maticore looking thing. Died a few minutes after. My barding got ruined and my pistol got it's barrel bitten off, so I holed up in the police station. It's were I got this barding in-fact, I was looking through it for a while and I found a RMCW, a rapid fire magical weapon, only made here, I used it to survive getting through the back and across a block into this rocket facility, I jury rigged it so it would work so that it would explode after being activated."

"Lured most of the creatures there with some choice explosives and a few shots to certain areas, they all ganged up around there and I activated the rocket, and hid in a fridge that was bolted down, like in that one 'Daring Do' book, it went off killed or wounded the creatures and I flew off, took the dog-tags of the other two, I ended up getting a cutimark in the shape of a rocket engine zoomed on the pilot light. It left an impression on the higher ups about who should get the promotion." I said looking at them flatly. "You should feel lucky by the way it cost my squad-mate years and multiple drinks to find that out."

"Why are you telling us then?" Coals asked confusedly happiness edging on higher voice.

"Cause no one will believe you, someone else maybe but not you, after all you spent at least a week in a desert completely unprepared." I answered flatly, causing them to look crushed.

"What about that pistol though I'm pretty sure that holster is for a magic pistol, what happened to it?" Shortcake asked as she looked at the holster on my side.

"It was for the one that got broken at NMC I got it fixed after that, the colours didn't match but that didn't really matter it shot this lemon yellow beam because of it. But that prat from the bar who shot me took it and sold it, bloody idiot, now I need to find it again, same for my RMCW." I answered irritatdely.

We got to the checkpoint a few days after, the trio looked haggard but a look of joy came over each of their faces as they came up to the border. As we came to the checkpoint though we saw a scene going on between a few ponies, as we got closer I realized it was Ember, Bill and Double Check looking panicked as they argued with a stallion in security barding.

"We need to get them they could cause a problem who knows how they will act!" Check yelled frantically as he paced.

"They acted fine." I yelled to him causing them to turn to us. Relief bloomed in their faces, though that did turn quickly into irritation when Ember yelled at the three of them,

"Why did you bloody run off! We hadn't sorted out a deal yet!" She looked at them furiously bonfires blaring in her eyes.

"Ember! They are back, we can scold them when we are not in front to the foreign delegacy." Bill quickly said calming her, guess he wasn't such a piece of shit as I first thought then. Nah.

"They wanted to play the hero, I gave them a sorting out in how that would work, they don't want to now to say the least." I responded smirking slightly at their display.

"Again? Honestly Sherbet. You think after last time you would have learned." Double Check groaned as he looked over at the yellow unicorn in question.

"Heh,heh...uh, yeah...Sorry." He chuckled out nervously.

"Well if that is done," Interjected the border guard "I would like to return to my job." I looked over his weapon and noticed something familiar, some star bottle caps set into the stock on a RMCW.

"Where did you get that weapon?" I asked curiously as everyone talked behind me. He looked to me an smiled as he rose it up in his magic looking over it happily.

"Buet isn't it got it from a trader that came through here, pistol too. They apparently came from this guy who killed a Enclave Captain. Good riddance I say leave us down here, they got what they deserved dying down here like us." He responded as he looked over it drawing my pistol as well.

"Funny, cause those look a lot like mine, and a short while ago this scrawny little idiot from a pub shot me and, thinking that he killed me, took my gear selling them to this trader, and those sure do look...familiar." His eyes turned to pin-pricks as he turned to me noticing the wings on my back and looked at me panickedly, he looked like he was about to shout but I put a wing over his mouth and shushed him.

"Ah,ah,ah! None of that now! After all you know very well what I could do to you, so lets make this nice and easy, for the both of us now." He nodded panickedly dread filling his features.

"Good lad. Now just give me both of those and i'll give you a decent number of caps, fifty or so," He began to protest at first but I just gave him a look and he shut up instantly going rigid "be glad you are getting anything at all lad, this is my property I just want this to be a clean break, to make it easier for later. So, are you going to do the right thing and hand them over to me or are we going to need to have a more intense chat involving a fire, a knife and you strapped down on that crate with a steel bar in you screaming muzzle, as I make you less of a stallion that you are now." Tears started to peak on his eyes as he nodded and floated the weapons to me. "Nice doing business." I thanked him as I let him drop to the floor, he sat there shaking as he watched the floor looking at me as I walked away.

"Where did you find them?!" Sam asked astounded as I walked back to the group.

"The guard had them, got them when a caravan came through, he was happy enough to return them, I gave him a tip for his troubles." I responded casually, pleased to no end as I fixed them to me, the pistol on my other side and the RMCW on my back, I didn't have a battle saddle for it at the moment.

"That's nice of him well. We have to go now, see you all later and thanks for visiting, even if getting you back was a chore." Sam responded as he waved back to them, I gave them a small salute with my wing then followed after Sam, looking forward to a quit journey back.

Quest Completed: Just Around The Coroner:
Obtain Sam's belongings and take both Alya and the trio to their destinations, traveling time is further reduced by 10% and you gain a higher chance for random encounters while traveling.

New skill earned: Magic Mastery(Blackmail material)
You have learned how to complete complex unicorn spells, not very useful unless you want to take up teaching though. (You also now have a large amount of blackmail material against a certain Fennec)

Unique Item found: Crowd Control;
A unique RMCW found in New Marexico City by Pilot Light on her first mission.

Unique item found: Juggernaut;
A magic pistol that Pilot owned since training, it has been modified heavily since them and is much more powerful than the standard magic pistol.

Author's Note

*I find it prudent to note that when Sam and Pilot were hugging, he was shirtless.

Thanks to Kkat for writing Fallout Equestria

Sorry this took so long

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