Avalanche from a Flurry

Chapters

Twilight's Question
Spike
Twilight's Answer
Flim and Flam
Rarity
Tempest Shadow
Interviews
The Crusaders
Canterlot
Apple Time
Visions
Purity
New Leaf
Who we want to be
Horn
Inception
Sweetie Belle
Specula
Breakfast
Planning
Visits
Unlock
Search
Recursion
Thunderlane
Announcements

Twilight's Question

Author's Note

CONTENT NOTE: considering the title and tags, the kids here remain remarkably unviolated. Still, two incidents of historic sexual contact with foals will be referred to in non-explicit terms. Aside from that, no one younger than the CMC (as of a few years after the end of the show, even) has any sexual contact. Many, many hypotheticals of such situations are raised.

CANON NOTE: for purposes of this story, EQG didn't happen, and the only comic books that happened are: the 4 movie prequels, The Return of Tempest Shadow, and Legends of Magic. No episode after She's All Yak (S9E7) was taken into account when writing. ALSO, Marks and Recreation (S7E21) didn't happen because I wanted Rumble to be the same age as the CMC, and he's younger in that episode, and Episode 100 didn't happen (though Cranky and Matilda did marry, there is no SMILE and Octavia is not Vinyl's roommate and Derpy doesn't hang out with the Doctor quite like that).The Pink Celestia toy and the Princess Skyla toy are IN, though as ancient history.

Twilight's Question

"Thanks so much, Twilight. I…" Cadence glanced at her husband "… can't say how much it means that you're willing to do this. She's just had such questions, and I think you're just the mare to help her. She doesn't take any deflections, and Shining and I can't answer some of them."

"I'm glad to help! After all, I could use some family time, not just work with the school, during my turn off from running Equestria! The rotation keeps it manageable, but… well. You know. Or maybe you don't, as you're on full time for the Empire." Twilight looked over to where Flurry Heart was crawling around Shining Armor's body like an overgrown insect, sometimes pulling herself up by his scarf, sometimes diving off of him to chase after the occasional snowflake.

Very serious, almost grave, Cadence quietly warned her, "If you can't help her, I'm not sure what can be done."

Incredulous, Twilight asked, "What kinds of questions ARE these?"

"If she doesn't ask you, I don't want to put you through the stress." Twilight frowned, now even more confused. Cadence continued, "But it might not come up." A sigh. "She can come back in a week, but if she wants to stay longer… well, that's up to you, but for our part, she has our permission to stay for your other week off too, if she needs it."

After a round of good-byes, Twilight accepted custody of Flurry Heart and they left the train station.

Twilight looked "Sooo… any questions?"

Flurry perked up, "Can we go to Suckerboob Corner?"

Twilight facehoofed. "Not now, and don't call it that where anypony else can hear. It was fine when you were a toddler, but you're half way from there to cutie mark age."

"Oh, so we won't be going to Arousal Booty either?"

"Not by that na…" Rainbow Dash cut her off by swooping down and greeting Flurry energetically. As they were engaged in high-speed pat-a-cake, Twilight got a chance to think. What could these questions that have been throwing Cadence off be? She's a pretty knowledgeable pony.

And for the next five days, Twilight and her friends, and sometimes her students, answered hundreds of questions about astronomy, botany, chemistry, dentistry, etymology, farming, gerontology, hippogriff history, iron-working, justice, yaks, and zebras. Twilight almost began to doubt that there was a specific question that Cadence had been concerned with at all.

That sixth day dawned to a deep blanket of snow, with more falling. Twilight declared a snow day. She and the students and Flurry Heart and Spike played in the drifts. Flurry knew all the best snow games, and how to make an igloo, so she was a center of attention. When they began to get cold, Twilight called everyone in and they took hot showers and gathered wrapped in blankets around the fire to talk a bit about what they'd learned.

Afterwards, as they walked back to the castle, after Spike had gone ahead, Flurry came up alongside Twilight and quietly asked, "Why are privates private?"

"Excuse me?"

"I really like private parts. I saw some today. That was nice, but I'm not supposed to stare, and I want to. Why not?"

Oh. That kind of question. But Cadence is princess of love, and Flurry's mother as well. Why isn't she handling this? "Hmm. That's a very interesting question."

Flurry watched Twilight's intent face as she tried to formulate an answer, and, detecting a serious attempt, remained attentive.

"I think it's… well. How much do you know about where foals come from?"

"Meiosis produces sperm and egg. Sperm meets egg, they turn into zygote. Implants, becomes embryo. Differentiates, becomes fetus. Fetus exits the mother through the vagina, becomes foal."

"Yesss, that's all correct. Sounds like you've been asking about it already and been paying very close attention indeed to the answers. I couldn't have answered in that much detail when I was your age. So. The answer to your question this time lies in all the trouble that that second step causes." Twilight paused. "How are you doing on temperature?"

Flurry darkly replied, "I'm very, very warm."

"Good! Then we can stay outside in this nice sound-muffling snow and take a long walk while we talk this over, instead of being in the sound-carrying crystal castle with two other inquisitive residents."

This was not the line of reasoning that Flurry had been expecting, and she perked up.

"So. Conception. I'm going to have to admit here that I have no direct personal experience with this process."

Flurry nodded. "You don't have a foal."

"First thing is, it doesn't always make a foal. In fact, it usually doesn't. So you can't tell I haven't any experience with this just from my not having a foal."

Flurry nodded.

"Second, when you're little, it's a really bad idea to do it, even if you're not going to have a foal. And your body isn't telling you to do it, so for now, that works out."

Flurry nodded.

"Third thing is, even before it's a good idea to do it, it feels good to do it and things like it, and your body may tell you to do it. And that's the main problem, I think. I don't want a foal now. None of my friends do. We have plenty of time. But it would feel nice. So we usually keep kids in the dark so they don't do it earlier than they should. But that doesn't work well."

"What would feel nice? I've seen mommies about to have foals and they didn't seem to feel great."

"Ah. Right." Twilight swallowed. "Too many pronouns, not enough antecedents. The name for what I was talking about is sex."

"Like, I'm female?"

"That's your sex. Sex as a thing to do is… Well. Sex encompasses several things, but the main one is that act which causes conception. Do you know what that is?"

"The stallion moves the sperm from the testes out the urethra, and they make their way up past the cervix."

"Yeees, but do you know how he does that?"

Flurry shook her head.

Twilight couldn't quite say it. "Would you care to guess?"

"Get close and spray?"

"How close?"

"Hugging close?"

"I mean, how close to the cervix?"

Flurry blinked. "If you're asking like that, I guess really close. Like… up insi… oh. That explains a joke I couldn't get before."

"Normally right up next to but definitely not through the cervix. So, to do that, there's a process in your brain… well, maybe not yet for you, but in an older child or an adult's brain… that latches on to any evidence that you might be about to be able to have sex and gets your body ready and bumps you in the direction of feeling more like doing that."

Flurry suggested, "Like drooling over a meal?"

"Yes! A lot like that. A whole lot like that. Anyway, reason number one we keep our privates private is so we aren't always sending out signals to other ponies that we could be about to have sex, so they don't start 'drooling'."

Flurry laughed. "That sounds like a good reason. Like not eating in front of ponies who aren't eating."

Twilight nodded. "The funny thing is, different cultures have different kinds of these signals. For some creatures like yetis, walking around with no clothing is a strong signal. Like, you saw some privates today; among them, you wouldn't have even come close to seeing a single one outside the showers. Among us, the signal is if we stop making a reasonable effort to keep it at least somewhat private."

She took a deep breath and continued, "Second reason… I will guess that sex presently seems like a thing you don't want to do?"

Flurry thought for a moment. "I don't specifically want to do it outside of curiosity, and I definitely don't want a foal. I guess he'd wash before, right?"

"One can reasonably require that, yes…"

She watched a little whirlwind pick up some snow a few feet away. "Doesn't seem horrible, I guess. I'd like to try it, to see what it's like. No rush. If you say it's bad for me, I'll wait."

Odd. I found it repulsive at her age. It still… well, I haven't thought about it in a while, and it doesn't seem so bad at this moment, but last time I thought about it, it was still unappealing. "So. Reason two that we keep privates private is because when kids get old enough that their bodies begin to say that it wants to have sex, the body is not right, and it's actually still a bad idea to have sex. So, these kids will be kept a little further from doing it, by keeping them from knowing what's there, so they aren't so tuned in to the signals. I don't think this is a very good reason, because not knowing is a poor defense. Instincts can push you in the right direction anyway, so it doesn't help that much. And someone who does know - an older child or even a bad adult - can take advantage of their ignorance to get a younger child to do something they shouldn't."

Flurry Heart said, "Something they shouldn't, like… having a baby too early to be safe?"

"Well. It doesn't need to be that extreme to be bad. Like, teaching them to do sexual things too much, tricking them into thinking it's something they should do, or using their power to get what they want instead of letting it happen on its own. That's the main worry, I think. Ponies who want more sex can do some bad things to get it, and so we try to make it not so easy for them to get it in bad ways. And that's the third reason: just make an extra barrier for them to have to cross. That's also why we expect ponies not to ask, normally. If you do ask, it should be among equals, not from somepony more powerful to somepony less powerful."

Flurry frowned. "Kids know I'm a princess. Does that mean I can't ask them?"

Twilight considered. "If they ask you, you can say yes - though you should be careful with that, make sure you really trust them. But you shouldn't ask them, or maneuver them into asking. That's the last rule, I think: don't mold ponies into wanting to ask for that before they should."

She hesitated. "I… I did ask some of the kids back in the crystal empire. And one of them was uncomfortable, but I reassured her, but now I don't know if she was really feeling better or if she was just doing what I was saying because I am a princess."

"She might have really felt better, because you are a princess."

"But is that okay?"

"Kind of not okay. What did you do, if you don't mind my asking?"

"Well, we did nothing. Mom swooped in before we started and grabbed me and next morning we came here. But I suggested that we all look close at each other. That was all. That's all I really want. Was that bad?"

Hmm. Cadence said she wouldn't take deflection lying down. "Did you ask your mother questions about what was going on?"

Flurry Heart nodded. "She didn't explain, she wouldn't even say that what I did was wrong, she just wouldn't say anything."

"I wonder why she couldn't give you the answer I just gave."

"So, did I do bad?"

Twilight thought for a moment. "I'd like to believe you didn't cause harm, and from your questions it seems like you didn't intend wrong. So no, you didn't do bad, but don't do it again. For the future, if you want to break a rule, find out in full why the rule is there, first. Not just the most obvious reason, but all the reasons."

"So… now I can see when it's okay to look at privates because I know the reasons we normally don't?"

"I think so. I'd want to quiz you a bit before agreeing."

Flurry thought for a minute, and Twilight went over what she'd said in her head and thought up some questions.

And then Flurry asked, "Can I look at your privates?"

Twilight's train of thought crashed. After getting it back on the rails, she began to figure out whether that was compliant with the rules she'd just explained. But then she had a better idea. "Before I answer, please explain how you decided that was okay to ask me."

"You don't need to do what I say, because you're a princess like me, and older. I could also ask Princess Celestia or Luna. I don't think I could ask mommy because she's my mommy, so she's raising me, she kind of aimed me wherever I go, so if I ask her, I'm not breaking a rule, but then she'd breaking the rule about molding. Same for daddy. But you haven't been aiming me at it - you've only given me reasons not to."

"Excellent answer. Now, one last question. Would you be satisfied by looking at a book?"

"I looked in a medical book. It was… not… really…" She trailed off, but it was clear that had not satisfied her curiosity.

"Got it. Well. I don't see any good reason not to, so I tentatively agree under a few conditions. First, you take the lead, I don't push you. Second, we stop or back off if either of us wants to. Third, this is private from everyone except your parents. I encourage you to say what we've done to at least one of them. That will make sure it's clear I'm not letting things go further than I should. Fourth, I don't want to examine yours. Please don't even offer. Fifth, I will think about it over night and if I come up with any other reasons not to, we'll go over my reasons. If I don't think of anything or we resolve my new concerns, then we can go ahead."

Flurry nodded. "Okay. Can we go inside? I'm cold now."

Twilight gasped. "Oh yeah! We got so wrapped up I didn't notice either."

There was a flash of light as she teleported them to the castle entrance hall. Spike and Starlight were standing nearby, sipping hot chocolate.

Spike took off towards them as they took off their boots, scarves, and hats. "Where were you? We were debating sending out search parties."

"Oh, just talking and walking." Twilight watched Flurry accept a cup of hot chocolate levitated over by Starlight. "Thanks for this, but I think what we really need is a hot bath."

"Hahaha! One hot bath coming up!" He paused. "Or two?"

Flurry said, "One, please?"

Spike eagerly declared, "A bath party it is."

Twilight looked at her with raised eyebrow, but Flurry Heart shook her head in agreement that yes, she'd said to do nothing tonight. And indeed she performed no shenanigans and took no peeks while they washed. Afterwards, Twilight took her to her room, read a bit of Daring Doo. After, as she was walking out the door, Flurry said, "Auntie Twilight?"

Twilight turned and waited.

Flurry said, "Thanks for taking all the effort to think it through, instead of just being a grownup about it."

Twilight smiled. "You're welcome, and I'm sorry you've gotten such a low opinion of grownups."

Spike

Twilight left Flurry in bed, and went down to the room next to the kitchen. Spike was reading a novel near the fire, and Starlight was doing some detailed-looking drawing. Twilight approached the fire and lay on her side next to Spike, facing the fire, and thought. Are there any important things about this that I'm forgetting? I need to make a list, but writing it down seems terribly unwise. At least, not in clear text. Plus… it's kind of ridiculous, but I don't know what I look like there. What to take care of first?

She dozed off, dreaming that she was a little filly and Starlight Glimmer was her best friend and she wanted to see what a penis looked like so Starlight Glimmer mind-controlled Twilight's family into showing themselves off but Twilight broke the spell before she could issue the command and said just ask them and Starlight Glimmer said it's a bit late for that now considering they're going to be upset about this but now she never did it why would Twilight have let her do that, no she just asked Shining Armor nicely and he was shy at first but then he showed them and she looked it over carefully but Starlight wasn't interested because she'd totally abused her power in Our Town and gotten more than enough of that, why don't you enjoy yourself a little with a pony who said okay already so here's this penis and okay penises are not that amazing in themselves, but this one is attached to a powerful, kind, strong, loyal, brave, beloved stallion, Shining Armor, so I care about this one a bit more, enough that I trace over it, and he's holding me and now I'm getting hot in the face…

"Twilight!"

Her eyes jolted open. "Spike?"

"Uh, I, umm. You were asleep, right?"

"Yes! Yes, I was dreaming." As discreetly as possible, Twilight pulled a foreleg out from between her hind legs. She glanced around - Starlight had left, apparently.

"Well, you, ah, were, umm, making noises. Yup, making noises. Bad dream?"

"Oh! Hah. Umm. Can't say it was bad, more weird. Did I say anything out loud?"

"No words, not exactly. Umm. Should I have just left and let you continue?"

Twilight chuckled, then her eye caught on his crotch, which was bulging a little.

He shifted in shame. "Sorry."

That got her to laugh out loud. "How could I possibly blame you for that? I mean, here I am… just doing what I was doing, apparently. Sorry for that if it bothered you."

"Not really, I just figured you wouldn't want to in front of me. Kind of surprising that it never came up before, considering we slept in the same room until the castle here."

"First time it's happened, as far as I know. I've never actually… you know, not seriously. That was really weird."

"You've never… touched yourself? Seriously? I thought you were just good at hiding it."

"No, I don't really want to. It just seems like it's fake. I… haven't even looked at myself."

Spike's eyes widened. "Whoa."

"Yeah, I think I'll fix that much."

Spike's hemipenes suddenly escaped his cloaca. He tried to clamp his legs together, but that just forced one up and one down, revealing both.

Twilight snorted and closed her eyes. "Ridiculous. Now I've seen you before I've seen me."

"Sorry!"

"If it doesn't bother you, doesn't bother me."

"Oh. Really? Well, in that case, you can open your eyes, I guess."

She did, and he was sitting more normally, two erect hemipenes jutting upwards, but now drooping.

Twilight frowned and stared. "Why are there two?"

He proudly expounded, "Lots of reptiles and amphibians have them. Some fish have three. They do different things in different species. Sometimes it's because of the fat tail, you can't mount from the rear in the middle, so aiming off to the side is easier. Other cases they just help to line things up. Dragons are flexible enough to face each other and dextrous enough to guide with our claws, so we don't need it, but… umm… it's really nice, so I'm glad."

Twilight looked away. She had the weird feeling that she ought to offer him to look at her, but she didn't. After around ten seconds, she said, "I'm glad you're glad. It's good to be happy with your body."

"Aren't you?"

"I don't have an opinion on that part of me. I hadn't really thought about it."

"I'm sure it's nice. You should be happy too."

"Spike, that was exceptionally bad epistemology."

"Well, forgive me for not wanting to delve into the depths of the question of whether my big sister has a beautiful vulva!"

Silence reigned for ten interminable seconds. His equipment slowly retracted.

"I'm sorry, Spike. I didn't mean to say we should be talking about it. I just meant there were better ways of putting the question away than simply assuming an answer."

He nodded. "Fair enough. Maybe yours is mashed potatoes."

Twilight giggled. "All right, criterion one: should not resemble mashed potatoes." He joined in the giggling. She added, "Would marshmallows be better?"

He laughed harder. "Yes, I think they would."

Muffled hoofbeats came into the room. Starlight Glimmer, in slippers and robe, looked at them in disbelief. "Who has a beautiful vulva?"

Twilight shrugged and giggled some more. "We don't know. We've only established that mashed potatoes aren't one, and marshmallows are better."

Starlight narrowed her eyes. "I think you two need to go to sleep. And maybe get laid." Then she added, "And the proper answer is, if it doesn't require medical attention, it's beautiful."

Twilight frowned. "Isn't beauty in the eye of the beholder?"

"If the beholder doesn't have this opinion, he can go fuck himself." This provoked another round of giggles in the two, over which she declared, "Spike! What's your plan with Rarity?"

"Umm. I'm not sure what you're talking about."

"That's a problem. If you were to ask her out, do you think she'd agree?"

He hesitated. "Uh. I imagine she'd laugh and feel really awkward and then something else would rescue her from having to reject me." He stared at his feet.

"Yeah, don't let that stand. There are three basic reasons it might be that you're not already dating. One, you're wrong and she's waiting for you get your guts together to ask. Two, she thinks you're too young and wouldn't accept now but would later. Three, though she cares deeply about you, it's not romantic. Does that sound right?"

Twilight nodded, and then Spike followed.

"So there's a simple solution to all three of these."

Spike's eyebrows rose. "Really?"

"Date somepony else."

"No way!"

Twilight narrowed her eyes. "I can see how it would help him practice asking ponies out… and that it could signal maturity, which would help on two. But three?"

Spike cut in, "You can't be serious!"

Starlight explained, "If she finds that she's possessive of you, that'll pull her towards you, it becomes romantic, and you can switch to her. If she doesn't, then you never had a chance anyway and at least now you're dating somepony else." She ignored his flabbergasted lack of response and pressed on. "Now, Rarity's friends or relatives are out so she wouldn't have conflicting emotions, wanting you to be together for your sakes as a grand sacrifice. So, none of the elements or Sweetie Belle. We want a mare, even if you're into guys that'd just increase confusion…"

"I'm not."

Starlight flowed through "Figured, just wanted to cover all the cases. The mare should preferably be a bit older than you, but she doesn't need to be as old as Rarity, and same age as you is all right too."

Trying to wrap his mind around it, he offered, "So… Scootaloo? She's half a year older than me."

"Sure, if you're willing to risk Rainbow Dash's wrath if it goes badly. Plus, I think she's with Rumble, more or less. Might be an opening there, but it'd be nice to aim a little older. Hmm. Sparkler, Derpy's older daughter?"

Twilight blinked. "I thought Sparkler was her little sister. Derpy isn't that much older than I am, and Sparkler's not that much younger. She started at the school for Gifted Unicorns before I finished. Derpy only raised her because her parents died."

Starlight Glimmer coughed. "That's all true, but I think mother takes precedence over sister. Derpy's mother died three years before Sparkler was born, so she was definitely not her mother."

Twilight's eyes widened. "Okay, so she's the mother… but seriously, Starlight? Also her sister?"

Spike was confused. "How does that even work?"

Starlight Glimmer coughed. "Not long before Sparkler was born, Derpy's father mysteriously ended up stranded on a board stuck in the side of a shrinking, high-altitude cloud fragment drifting out over the Everfree forest. None of the dozens of witnesses claim they can understand just how he got there, and it was mighty strange how every single one of pegasi who found out in time had a wing sprain that day."

Spike figured it out. "What? That's horrible! Really?"

Twilight sat blinking. "Wow. How did you hear about this?"

"Over the years, I've asked around what's the worst thing a pony's done here. Aside from major cataclysms… it's what he did to her. Incidentally, her eye and balance problems started before her mother's death, which is when the trouble with her father started, so at least that's natural, not on him."

Twilight shuddered and stared at nothing. After a few more seconds, still staring off into nothing, she suggested, "Maybe Sweetie Drops?"

Starlight frowned. "Umm, she's practically married to Lyra."

Twilight absently put in, "No, that's Bon-Bon. Sweetie Drops is her mirror pool clone. After I wiped out all the excess Pinkies and sealed it up, she was terrified of me for a while. But Sweetie Drops has been around long enough to be her own pony."

Spike offered, "Lily Valley, maybe?" In response to Starlight's lack of recognition, he clarified, "Roseluck's youngest sister? I mean, she's in the right age range, but I'm not in love with her."

Starlight lifted a hoof and jabbed it in his direction. "And that's right, Spike. Normally when you date a pony, it's before you fall in love. And there's Marble Pie."

"No way. Limestone terrifies me."

Starlight chuckled. "Fair enough. Now, here's the thing. This is not a short-term plan. Get to know these ponies better, with no urgency. After a month, think about asking one of them out. If you get good chemistry with one, go ahead and move sooner, but do not force it."

Twilight asked, "Starlight, when did you get to be such an expert? I haven't seen you even look at a stallion as long as you've been here."

Spike laughed. "Seriously?"

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Trixie."

Starlight snickered. "Actually… yes, we once, umm, snuggled a bit more closely and intensely than friends normally would. But we only got far enough to figure out that she's straight after all, and I… well, I am effectively not much of anything now, but tending towards straight. Not that I deny that we still snuggle sometimes, but we've backed off to friendly. Past that, though, Twilight's right. I've been… not so interested since leaving Our Town. There was a guy there, and… well, one day he was missing and his cutie mark was gone. So either he died or ran away. Kinda soured me on that. I know, it's been years and years."

"Wow, I didn't know you'd been in love."

"Love? Well, he was really nice, and the sex was amazing, but I'm not sure we were in love. Maybe? It hit me a bit too hard for it not to have been love, I guess. Still, it might be time to move on. I tried Sunburst, we all know how that went, but I couldn't gather up the heart to try after that burned."

Spike suddenly said, "So, want to go on a date?"

Starlight almost choked. "I, uh, Spike. First off, I'm five years older than Rarity, so we wouldn't be bending but smashing the Hoofner rule. But more importantly than a bit of offhand math made up by a pervert… we live together."

He sighed. "Yeah, what if it's a bad date, then what."

"Well, if it's a bad date we laugh it off. No, I'd be worried it'd be a really good date, and only after we shift from friend to lover that it gets fouled up. Plus, I know why you're doing this, which kind of ruins it."

Twilight put in, "Doesn't that make this whole enterprise dishonest?"

"Not really? I don't think any pony in Ponyville would be surprised if Spike dropped them like a hot potato if Rarity cut in. The difference is, we've had this conversation. If just you had talked this over with Spike and he asked me, well, there'd still be the age difference thing, but aside from that I'd work, sure. Now… I've seen too much of what's behind the curtain. Romance is all about mystery and ambiguity and here we are having this frank strategic discussion. If we went out, that would be a lie, not to me, but to Rarity and anypony who was watching. Unless it was simply a dating lesson, not even a real date. But that's not the effect that we're going for with this strategy, so, just, no. Unless… you're throwing my plan away and found this all made me so attractive that you want me, forget about Rarity." At his derisive snort, she nodded. "Right, not that. But Spike, I'm proud of you for asking."

He sighed and got up. "Thanks. I'll see about trying your plan out. This has been the weirdest conversation ever."

As his footsteps faded down the hall, Starlight asked, "Did Flurry say something that got you going?"

Twilight's eyes widened. "What? What would…? Well… why?"

"Not your best alliteration. Anyway, she dropped a doozy on me yesterday."

"Oh?"

Starlight swallowed. "Well. She complimented me. On my labia. She actually asked me if other mares get jealous."

"Oh! Umm, what about them?"

"I accidentally let them unfold. They're… unusually large. Enough that if they come un-folded, and you're looking at just the right angle, you can see them even if I'm just standing there."

Twilight frantically attempted and failed to think back to any time she'd seen that. "I see."

"When I was little, it was even more pronounced. One of the reasons I was so upset about Starburst leaving was because he was my only friend, because every other foal called me elephant-face-butt."

Twilight suppressed laughter. "Wow. Sounds like a good time to take up wearing a dress."

"They all knew, it was too late. Anyway, I couldn't wear a dress due to being an active filly, and I couldn't wear anything tight because if I don't keep it aired out, it gets… swampy."

"Oh, Starlight, I'm so sorry."

She shrugged. "It's not a big deal now - I just accordion them up and magic them to stay put, which usually works, and it's normally all good. But as a filly… I wonder whether that helped fuel my desire for conformity. What about you? Did Flurry trigger that whole shouty thing?"

"Yeah, yeah, she said something. I'd like to keep it private between her and me, though. Birds and bees stuff."

Starlight nodded. "Sure."

"… How okay is it to really look? And to ask to look?"

"Like, in general, or are you asking?"

Twilight had only meant in the abstract, but the offhoofedness of Starlight's offer startled her. "Ummm."

"I guess that means both. Well, then…" As her answer, she turned around most of the way and raised one leg to the side.

"Wow, that is pretty impressive. Like you said." Restoring eye contact, Twilight asked, "Should… I, too?"

Starlight shrugged and lowered her leg. "If it'll help you feel better."

Twilight stood and took a wide stance. Then she made a pair of magical reflections guiding the image to her face as she looked down under her body. "Huh. It's…" I don't know how it compares to other mares other than Starlight, a self-described oddity, but for me it must be totally normal: I've had it all my life. It's me. Literally a side I've never seen before. And it's strange. "Never really seen it before. It reminds me of the inside of an ear, a little. There's a lot going on in there."

Starlight took a quick look. "Looks perfectly fine to me. Okay, how about I head on up while you get to know yourself?"

Twilight nodded and spent a little while prodding and pulling herself. It felt weird to actually acknowledge that part of her body, but not bad.

She went to bed, and her thoughts turned back specifically to the dream she had woken from. Shining Armor… huh. We shouldn't do anything, but chances of that are low enough it's not worth worrying about. I don't really find him repulsive as I understand most siblings do. Oh Celestia I just remembered that one time I assumed we'd get married later on and said that in class. I almost died of embarrassment. But anyway, I wonder why that repulsion didn't hit me. He's actually rather attractive. Ah well, not like it matters.

Twilight's Answer

Twilight Sparkle woke from Flurry Heart jumping onto the side of her bed. "Good morning! Are you done thinking?"

Twilight groaned. "I'm not done sleeping." I've barely gotten started on thinking about THAT. She stretched, first her legs out forwards and backwards, then pushing her upright, rump-first.

"Can I…"

Twilight realized that the covers were probably tempting for her to remove. She lacked the energy to formulate the best response right away. "Back off. We'll ta…" Well, that would give her the wrong impression, that I've found an objection. "Not a word until after breakfast. At least coffee."

Flurry Heart backed away. "Sorry."

"'sokay, just not awake yet."

Done stretching, Twilight sat up on the side of the bed and breathed deeply. Spike was already frying something, and making coffee. The mere wisps of the odor helped. She sat and gathered her thoughts. "Flurry, why don't you go down? I'll think about this for a bit."

Flurry nodded and ran out energetically.

Okay, I need to get organized. And that means making a list. Which means putting things in writing, or spending extra time memorizing a list. Hesitantly, she fetched a scroll and quill. After carefully dipping the quill, she dashed off: "This is a trivial cipher. Please do not try to break it - it is private. TS"

She considered for a moment, and reached back into her memory. To herself, she murmured, "Item 1. Well, wait. What is this the list of? There were something like three lists. Reasons not to show, principles guiding… no, we didn't list those. Just two lists, I think. Reasons not to, and then a procedure for doing it that avoids those reasons. Could use a reason to do it, I guess."

After a minute of wracking her brains, she gave up on remembering exactly what the lists had been, and as she softly murmured 'Reasons we hide private parts (pp)', and wrote,

-- Sfbtpot xf ijef qsjwbuf qbsut (qq) --

She filled in the list as best she could from memory, and in the process organized her thoughts better and produced lists of concerns and principles, then rules in general, and procedures in specific. Everything seemed complete. Verifiable procedures that guarantee validation of the conscionability of the results. And she'd only needed to add one condition.

Satisfied, she turned to leave again. As she stood in the doorway, she looked back, rolled the scroll up with her magic and put it in an empty flowerpot on her windowsill.

At breakfast, Spike had put Flurry on the high stool so she could pour the pancakes. Flurry finished the one and then glided down and rushed over to her. "Good morning!" Then she headed out the kitchen door, and nodded for Twilight to follow. Softly, "Came up with anything?"

Just as softly, "I don't just want to tell at least one of your parents, I'd like to ask one, too. I know, it's disappointing, but I can't just go ahead with what little Cadence gave me. They're ultimately responsible."

Flurry sighed. "Then you can ask when they come to pick me up, but I don't think they'll agree. I think Mom asked you to take care of it so she wouldn't have to."

Twilight shrugged. "I'll talk with her."

And the rest of the day was normal - more play in the snow, a quick meeting with the Mayor about a budget hiccup while Flurry read, then they packed up and got the bags loaded by the door, and then off to the train station.

When Shining Armor got off the train, Flurry jumped off Twilight's back and glided down the platform to him. Twilight followed at a more restrained pace, and hugged her brother as Flurry pranced on his back. She demanded, "Just you?"

"Mama's back home. You are coming, right? We didn't get a letter asking to stay longer, but I don't see your bags here."

"Sure! We just wanted to have you over for a bit first."

Twilight swallowed. She'd counted on having this conversation with Cadence, not Shining Armor.

Flurry looked around as if checking if anypony was within earshot, and Twilight coughed to head her off. Now it's daytime, and no active snowstorm. "So, how's the Crystal Empire?"

"Same as usual. Come on, you can't ask about that, now. How was the visit?"

"Wonderful. Very educational on a number of topics. She's been very well-behaved. I'd be happy to have her longer if she wants to stay, or again later."

Shining smiled. "That'd be lovely. Let her see a bit more of Equestria than our corner." To Flurry, "Did you make any friends?"

Flurry nodded and gushed about the ponies she'd met over the previous few days, and when they made it back to the castle she described the creatures she'd met at the school, and the snowfight…

"… and then I asked Twilight why we keep privates private" (at this, Twilight choked, for she said it as if it were just the next thing to ask) "and she thought about it and gave some very good answers I hadn't thought of, and those reasons didn't mean that I couldn't ask to look at hers, so I did, and after thinking for a while she said if I asked you first it was okay by her."

Twilight had stopped moving, mortified. Of course, what did I expect?

Shining Armor stared at Flurry, then turned and came a few steps back towards Twilight. His horn lit, and an opaque pink bubble surrounded the pair.

His face was not evincing happiness, to put it mildly. "What made you think you had the right?"

"Cadence's comments. She seemed to think it was…"

"Seemed? You had better be extremely clear about what parents want before you tell a child about these things!"

Twilight took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Upon reopening them, she asked, "What are you concerned about?"

"What am I concerned about? Don't you see what could go wrong?"

"I know of many things that can go wrong; I am asking which you are worried I might not have addressed properly."

"It's not your place to address them at all!"

"So, is it your position that when I find out that she has been sneaking looks at ponies without permission, I should say nothing on the subject? I steered her away from bad behav–"

He cut right in on her. "And steered her right back into it by saying you'd be okay with her seeing you!"

"If she is curious, and she is–"

Shining Armor cut her off again. "This is not okay. I do not want you to watch her again, and that is final. I cannot believe you'd do this."

Twilight gaped. "We walk around naked, Shiny. You aren't making sense. I grew up with you."

He actually didn't cut her off this time. "Yes, you did, and you never saw me."

"Okay? First off, I would be considerably more hesitant to show her if she were a colt or I were a stallion. But as it so happens, I have the same equipment she has. Secondly, I did see dad several times, and mom, too." A flash of memory struck. "I even saw dad in some detail for several seconds once. I remain unscarred."

Shining Armor stared at her for a minute, and swallowed. "All right. I suppose you don't know what I know. When I was little, around her age, dad cast the tick-check spell and it told him he had a tick in the general area of between his hind legs. Mom wasn't there, so he asked me to help check him out. I searched around, couldn't find it. I moved his penis out of the way, idly, repeatedly, looking around. He got hard. He didn't even mean anything by it, it was just a natural reaction. I did, eventually, find the tick, in a fold of skin. But by then, that really got my attention in a big way. I got a bit obsessed with wondering what mares looked like in as much detail as I'd just seen him. I wanted so much to spy… on mom, on you. But I held back. I didn't. I never did."

Twilight swallowed. "Thank you for not spying. Do you think that I would be making things worse? Your daughter is already spying."

"I didn't just want to spy on you. I wanted to… do… things."

Twilight realized that he wasn't making sense if he was just talking about this, but seemed to be more along the lines of a general confession. "Again, thank you for not disrupting my fillyhood by doing that."

"I became a pervert!"

Twilight took a step forward. "Shining, thank you so much for your restraint. It means a lot to me that I got to focus on books instead of avoiding my brother. I have a brother who loves me so much that he actually managed to thoroughly outwrestle his libido for my sake. I loved you before, but hearing that, I love you so much more. I never had a hint, and that's the best thing possible." She reached forward with a hoof and gave him a hug. After a moment, he returned it.

And after a few seconds, his penis grazed her chest. The rest of his body stiffened in mortification. Twilight laughed. "Relax. I'm not a filly anymore. I'm not going to be traumatized. Assuming you aren't going to rape me. I am right on that?"

He vigorously nodded.

"So then the way this is going to go is that you're going to have your erection and we're just going to talk and everything's going to be fine and you're going to get it into your head you don't need to be ashamed of any of this because you held it in so successfully for so long, which is all that really mattered. Does that sound like a thing that can happen?"

He nodded, and tears began flowing freely.

"Looks like some dust got in your eye."

"No, Twilight. I'm crying. At relief, at how you've been so much more amazing and forgiving about this than I'd ever imagined. Better than I dared to seriously hope, anyway."

Twilight grinned. "When I think about this, I don't think how I should forgive you, I think you're my hero. I would hope to aspire to that level of self-control."

After a minute, Shining pulled away and Twilight let him. His erection had subsided (which Twilight observed to some relief). He wiped the tears from his eyes.

She went on, "By the way, while we're confessing things like this. I, uh, had my first erotic dream in years last night, and, well, you were the star. We didn't do anything, even there, and I'm not generally speaking…" attracted to you. Well. Now that I mention that, it's totally false. "… thinking along those lines. Like, I just remembered that now. I didn't have it in mind at all while we were hugging."

Shining Armor was struck silent, flabbergasted.

Twilight took a deep breath. Why the hay did I mention that just now? "Annnnyway! So, Flurry's request. What do we say?"

"No." A slight pause for emphasis. "I wouldn't want to put her through that."

"I see a few differences between what she and I were planning to do and what you did, so I think the bad outcome you want to avoid becomes less likely if we do this, rather than more likely. She would only look as long as she's interested, instead of having to keep going past that point, like you were held there to help Dad. I won't have a visible physiological reaction. And she's already fairly obsessed with them. Well, interested. But interested to the point that she brought it up with me out of nowhere, which seems to me to suggest it's beyond simple interest. Also, we had a big talk about the ethics of these things, so if she does have funny ideas, she'll know what's expected of her, and she might take these rules more seriously if they get her some things she wants, not just things she can't do. Assuming she doesn't have your monumental self control." Which I am now finding really sexy. Starlight really was right - I need to get laid. My brother is not an ideal partner, what with his being my brother and also married. To a pony who is not me. Also, I like his wife.

Shining Armor took a deep breath. "I… I may not be the right person to judge this, then. If you think it's okay, I'll believe you."

Twilight took a moment to remember what he was talking about, then nodded. "Now, before we open this bubble, how about I exchange the air in here with somewhere above the castle? It's a bit musky in here, and we don't want to give ponies the wrong idea."

Shining Armor nodded.

"Well, it might be the right idea, but we'd still not like them to get it." Twilight waited a moment, then coughed a little. "To that end, can you make the shield permeable to teleportation?"

After blushing from embarrassment at not realizing that would be necessary, he complied, and Twilight set about exchanging the air with the frigid air from outside. And then to balance out the heat a little bit, she exchanged in some air from right next to the fireplace. She gave a nod, and the bubble lifted.

Flurry was curled up in a blanket on the floor. Her somber visage shifted to a wide smile once she parsed their faces as assent.

Twilight blushed. "So, I guess we should… hmm. Actually, no. You're in charge, Flurry."

Flurry's heart pounded. It was going to happen. She softly - not quite a whisper - said the thing she'd been imagining the night before: "Library. Face the door. Put a book on the table. Read it. Put your weight on the table. Spread. I'll look from there. Okay?"

Shining Armor gulped. "That was awfully… specific."

Twilight bobbed her eyebrows. "Girl knows what she wants."

"Oh, and daddy can sit with me and show me and explain what everything is."

Twilight coughed. "Umm. Just a moment, sweetheart?" Twilight made a soundproof opaque bubble in imitation of Shining Armor's earlier shield. She laughed upon getting a good look at her brother's face. He was hyperventilating. "I'm not a kid anymore, Shiny. I declare your mission to avoid causing me trauma complete. 100% success. And it's over. You may choose to be proper and refuse her request, which is respectable, or you may choose to educate your daughter, which is also respectable. And if you satisfy your own curiosity, that too is fine."

His hyperventilation continued. "But…"

She gave him a decent amount of time to think, but he did not finish - or even start - his thought, so she said, "All right. In my bedroom, on the windowsill, is a flower pot. In it is, in the B cyclic cipher, my notes on ethics of all this. Why don't you go and read them, and maybe you can add to them, and settle your thoughts on all of this? We'll get started without you, and if you decide not to join us, then simply don't."

Shining nodded. He managed to croak, "Where's your bedroom?"

"Up the stairs to the left, second door on the left. And from my room, just turn right and go down the hall to get to the library."

He took a deep breath, and Twilight collapsed the privacy bubble. As Shining headed off in no particular rush to Twilight's room, Twilight and Flurry went to the library, Twilight giggling slightly in nervousness, Flurry bouncing slightly in excitement.

When they got there, Flurry zoomed around checking that it was vacant; Twilight looked for a book. When Flurry came back from her sweep, she found Twilight up on the tall browsing ladder, considering a few volumes. And Flurry looked up. Twilight glanced down, a faint grin and a wink. Flurry looked more carefully. The angle was good, but the legs were together. Twilight momentarily grabbed a book and flew down. "All right, off we go. Was the view any good?"

Flurry shook her head.

One fantasy down the drain. I knew it wasn't all that clear a view from glancing at others, but they weren't trying to show off. Apparently you need to use the ladder unsafely to be able to show off properly, since I was spreading my legs about as much as the ladder would allow.

Before getting into position, Twilight said, "Flurry, find a book of your own."

The filly thought for a moment, realized it would give her a cover story if somepony wandered in, and flew off. She considered the children's section, but then… "Daddy isn't coming, right? Do you have a book that can tell me what the parts are?"

Twilight considered. "He might, but I expect him to be a while if he does. I have a volume that covers the internals, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't go into details of the pudenda. That is to say, the external parts."

"I thought that was a vulva."

"That's specific to mares. Pudendum technically means anyone's privates, though it is more commonly used with females, largely because there isn't often a need to refer to the general area around the male equivalent." She eyed the door nervously, realizing that she was talking a bit louder than perhaps was prudent. Where are Spike and Starlight? I think they're out, so it should be okay.

Flurry left to find someting, and Twilight stopped watching her and looked forward at her book. She heard Flurry return and settle down; Twilight recalled that she wasn't merely supposed to stand there, but spread her legs. And then nothing much happened. Flurry was silent. So Twilight got to reading.

The three tribes' outlooks on proper behavior differed dramatically, and each contributed to the modern approaches. The Earth pony tribe focused on the good of the group and the family, and choices were made collectively; Pegasus society had a peculiar split between absolute obedience to fixed rules and hierarchy in certain limited domains, and extreme individualistic freedom in all others; and Unicorns based their moral choices on approaching perfection. After unification, these modes of thought separated from the societies that created them. These approaches exchanged ideas and evolved, resulting in the three modern approaches to fundamental moral theory: Utilitarianism, Deontology, and Virtue Ethics; and, independently, the three systems of moral axioms most commonly in practical use: compliance with tradition, subservience to the crown, and trust in preferences and instinctive judgements.

As Twilight tried to predict which of the tribes contributed what to each of the systems, she noticed a breeze at her rear. It went away, and returned. "Flurry, could you back up a little? It feels like you're breathing on me."

"Sorry."

"Don't touch me, even by accident."

"I wasn't going to."

"Not even a chance of by accident."

"Yup."

Satisfied, Twilight continued reading.

On both of these lists, the last is common at the bottom end - common ponies' folk-ethics appears to be based around trying to do the best you can (virtue ethics), based on instinct and unexamined social pressures. And in the common situations most ponies find themselves in, this combination - or any of them - does well. However, for a philosopher, this system has substantial defects. All of these defects can be summed up in the objection that it simply says that ponies ought to do what they feel like they ought to do. Any pony who is making choices outside of common domains - and this includes any role in directing society, and also a number of other things - is outside the scope of the things this system does well. Therefore, any pony in a position of power should use a better ethical system. This of course first requires answering the question of what criteria one should use when selecting an ethical system. Therefore, this work starts…

After a good bit more time, Twilight paused, listening. There was a scritching sound, now audible as the wind outside subsided. She looked back, but couldn't see anything. "Flurry, are you drawing?"

"Yes."

"Me?"

"Yes. Well, not anymore."

Twilight stopped and thought. "Can you destroy it after you're done?"

"Uh. I… well, take a look."

Twilight lowered her leg and turned around. Flurry was drawing ponies among green houses and orange trees on a purple landscape. "I thought you were drawing me."

Flurry giggled. "I did. Then I drew a bunch of houses and trees on you."

Twilight took the page, squinted, turned it sideways, and laughed. The landscape itself was the right half of her rear end - The waterfall and lake turned into part of her tail and the right half of her anus. The hills and more lake became her right-side labia and the right half of her vagina. The rock at the end of the lake was again the right half of her prepuce. The gentle falling hill was the bottom of her barrel, and the gentle rising hill was her right leg. If you only saw the purple, and knew what you were looking at, it was fairly clear, though still a child's drawing. But all the houses and trees and ponies broke it up, and by cutting it off at the line of symmetry and flipping it on its side, the features became far less recognizable.

Twilight laughed again. "All right, you can keep it. As long as you keep adding details to the houses and trees and ponies so they're as detailed as the landscape. All good?"

Flurry nodded. "Thanks a lot, auntie Twilight!"

So they headed over to Twilight's room. Shining Armor was lying on his back on her bed, with the scroll unfurled above him. He broke his concentration to look over to them. "All done?"

Flurry Heart gave a single wingbeat to help her jump push her onto the bed, and one more pace of gallop, and she landed on top of his chest. "Thanks, daddy. Ready to go now."

She clambered off again and ran out of the room to fetch her things. Freed, Shining got off of the bed and returned the scroll to where Twilight had kept it - she could see he'd filled in some of the large blanks she'd left for future list entries and reasons and arguments - and he also kept a sheet of his own notes. While they followed Flurry down to the train station, Shining murmured to Twilight, "Having read what you wrote, I see more of why it's important. She must not go spreading her 'unusual interests' - which, yes, she already had - around to the other foals." Twilight nodded. "And yes, it's good for you to take care of her curiosity rather than her mother." Twilight nodded again.

Twilight added, "And how are you feeling about feeling about me?"

"Peace. It hasn't been much since Cadence, anyway, so it's just history. Important history."

"Good." Is that disappointment I feel? Eeeurgh. I really do need to get laid, if I'm even a little bit upset that my brother isn't actively lusting for me. "Umm, weird question. How does a princess get a boyfriend? I figure you'd know since you've been through the other side of that process."

He chuckled. "I'm not sure those circumstances can be recreated. Cadence got to me when we were students. Also, she may be so good at it that she wouldn't know what to say to someone who lacks her sense for things. So if I were you, I'd ask princess Celestia or Luna for advice."

"I can imagine it - Dear princess Celestia, any tips on getting a stallion? Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle." She'd edited it down to 'a stallion' from 'laid' at the last moment.

Shining Armor laughed. "You could do that. Orrr… maybe Cadence will have useful advice after all. Shall I ask her?"

"Sure. I think I'll need all the help I can get."

"Twi… you're beautiful, and smart, and powerful, and good. The only help you really need is finding stallions who are close enough to being your peers."

Twilight thought. "Princes. Hmm… Rutherford?" Her eyes widened in 'nope'. "Blueblood… I guess he might be all right to somepony who's more his station, but… I'd need to be with somepony less burnt into the upper crust."

Shining Armor sighed. "No need for an actual prince. Someone you knew before would work. Big Macintosh would have been fine, but he married Sugar Belle. And there's…"

Twilight shook her head. "He's a good pony, but I don't think we'd have worked out." Then she saw his evil grin and realized the other brother he had been about to name. "And no, Zephyr Breeze is not an option."

Then they were too close to others to continue, and there was a very ordinary set of farewells at the train, and Twilight was left standing on the platform blowing snowflakes off her nose.

Flim and Flam

Twilight Sparkle, upon reviewing the stallions she knew, came to the names of Flim and Flam. The revulsion she felt immediately threw her off track. Still, before moving on, she realized she hadn't seen them up to anything lately, and it might be more efficient to go after them before they got their next con going, rather than after. She inquired with the post office as to their current address. A few days later, she received a response and traveled to Las Pegasus to give them a visit.

When she walked in to their office, the one with the mustache and three quarters apple cutie mark jumped in shock, but recovered and greeted her. "Princess Twilight Sparkle! Welcome to our humble office, our workshop, our laboratory." He drew this last word out. Then, to the rear, he called, "Flim! We have a visitor!" As Flim swooshed into the room, Flam continued, with some degree of confusion, "To what do we owe the extreme pleasure of being able to receive your visit?"

Twilight forced a smile and recited what she'd worked out, "I was thinking back to the various times we've met. And usually you two had a good idea that could have made money, and you just decided to take it too far. You could have made decent cider at a decent price. Your medicine did appear to do something, at least before you replaced it with something cheaper, that didn't do anything at all." She glared at them, but relaxed. "You could have set up a branch campus of the friendship school - with oversight, I might have even approved it."

"Really." Flim seemed unconvinced by that last assertion.

"As I said, with oversight. Anyway, I haven't seen what you're up to lately, and if there's a chance that what you're doing could be a good thing, I'd like to… shall we say, intercede before your salesman instincts kick in and you oversell it and turn it into something… not so good."

Flim and Flam exchanged looks, eyebrow wiggles, shakes of the head, nods, and finally a sudden turn to look at Princess Twilight Sparkle. Then, speaking in turn, they said, "Your highness / We would be pleased to have you try our latest invention. We believe that this is just such a thing. It is a good machine. / And yet I can, regrettably, see a possibility in which our sales could get ahead of our quality controls. / So we would be quite happy to have somepony looking over our shoulders so we do not ruin things. / Again."

Twilight Sparkle took a deep breath, and her smile became a bit less forced. Still, caution would be prudent. "I would suggest you demonstrate it on one of yourselves, first. Also, my location and business are known."

Flim coughed in shock. "Seriously? You think we would…"

"By accident, perhaps."

Their mouths worked silently for a moment. Flim looked to Flam. "Give it a final check."

Flam asserted, "It's fine."

Flim hissed, "Check it anyway."

Flam glanced once at Twilight, and ran to the back room.

Flim led the way at a more restrained pace, and got into his sales pitch. "After a day of exhausting work…"

"Flim? Please do me a favor and just tell me its name and what it does."

Flim gurgled a little as they entered a room with a table with funny devices attached around its edge. "Well, we are still working out the name, but provisionally speaking, the name is just… what it does. It is the fully automatic modular neck, body, leg, wing, and horn massage table. Flam likes to call it the FAMoNBoLWHoMT, but I just call it the table. We are still thinking of a name, but it may please you to know that improving its operation is already a higher priority than naming it."

Twilight nodded. "It's certainly… imposing. What's your business plan?"

"What aspect do you have in mind?"

"Who will you sell to? Individuals? It's rather large for a home. What sort of organization would buy one? One of those Sillicolt Valley companies with lots of perks? Perhaps set it up somewhere public in Las Pegasus or some other resort, and let it be coin-operated?"

Flam pulled his head out from under the machine. "All excellent ideas! We will see what price point we can achieve while still retaining quality, and base our marketing accordingly." He pulled out the rest of the way and gave Flim the go-ahead.

Flim added, "For the bit-op market, we are hoping to have good enough quality that we can charge two thirds as much as a massage at a spa."

Flam added, "And there are a few things we can do that a spa cannot." Flim raised his eyebrows and gulped at that.

Then Flam hopped on the table belly down and put a hoof on the controls. "Dial to control overall strength of movement." He turned the dial, and after a click as it got off the zero position, a small fire lit under a tank mounted beneath the table. Momentarily, the attachments approached Flam and began kneading his back.

Flim put in, "The steer-yearling engine activates quickly and is very quiet."

Flam continued, "Multi-position switches to activate and control the relative strength of each module - disengaged, low, medium, full power. The overall power dial goes up to ten, but we don't recommend going beyond four."

Flim clarified, "We recently changed some internal workings, and haven't adjusted the dial's scale to compensate yet."

Twilight Sparkle nodded. "Thank you for the warning. I will be careful with the power."

Flam added, "Even at ten, it's merely… uncomfortable. It's still safe." He turned the dial up to ten, for a few moments, and he was squeezed rather hard. As he turned the machine off, he noted, "Turning off attachments doesn't make the remaining attachments get stronger, so you don't need to worry about focusing a huge amount of force onto one part by accident."

The arms retracted, and he got off. Twilight was about to get on when he held a hoof out. "Sanitizing wipe first, princess. We don't want to spread anything. We are working on doing this automatically as the machine shuts down, but, well, it's not so simple to do."

Flim said, "We are encountering enough difficulty with sanitization that for coin-op, it seems like we might need to provide gowns or have an attendant by to clean after each run. We would prefer to avoid this, for obvious reasons."

Twilight nodded approvingly as he cleaned every part of the device, somewhat ashamed that she hadn't thought of it. And another thing she hadn't thought of… "You do not have my permission to quote me or to photograph or otherwise record me. Do you agree not to do any of these things?"

Flim and Flam looked to each other, disappointment showing. "It would have been nice to have a princess's endorsement."

She amended, "You might be able to get one, but if so I will be doing so based on your final product, not a prototype, and I will do so intentionally. You may not steal this, but if you work honestly… good things can happen."

Flim gestured to the table. "In that case, your majesty…"

As she got on the table, she gently corrected, "Actually, for now, I'm just a highness. I'll be a majesty again in a week and a day, when I become the head of state again."

"My apologies, your highness."

She nodded. This may be the first time I've ever made that specific correction. Titles seem appropriate here. Her attention came to the control panel. There was the outline of an alicorn there. Various switches around the body were mostly pulled in to the second-to-closest setting, while others were in the outermost: the wings, and horn, and those for the lower legs. She left them in their settings, and turned the dial up to 1.

As the machine chuffed alive, Flim quickly advised, "Slip your wings out along here to give the body massager access? I'll pull out the tray." She complied, and moments later a very light massage began on her side and back. She put the dial up to 2. That was all right.

Flam suggested, "Perhaps you'd like to try the wings?"

Twilight reached out with a hoof and nudged the wing switch on the left inward from 'disengaged' to 'low'. A few seconds later, there was a very gentle rippling across her wings. "Wow, that's different. I've never had anything like it."

And so she activated the leg and horn attachments. When the foreleg attachment activated, the control panel swung within range of her nose. And she just lay there and relaxed. By changing up the settings and adjustments, she could get it to be nearly as good as the spa's massages, as they'd promised.

Flim happily said, "Well, you seem to be enjoying this. Do you think we're on the up-and-up?"

Twilight nodded. "You seem to still be in that phase, yes, which means I visited you at the right time. Now, this last switch... the one at the bottom of the diagram, under the center line, between the rear legs. What does that do?"

Flam nervously laughed. "Well, your highness, I, ah."

"Is this one of the things that spas cannot do? Legally speaking, that is?"

Flim coughed. "Er, yes."

"I see." Twilight considered. She deactivated the machine and slowly got up.

Flam gave her a moment before supplying, "But it is legal for a machine, I understand."

"Oh yes, no doubt about that. I was merely thinking about how this changes the market. Also, I was previously going to say I ought to get one for a friend - that is, Granny Smith, whom you may remember - but now that I know it does 'that' as well, that would sound… disingenuous. But no matter - it isn't ready for sale yet anyway."

Flim and Flam wiped their brows. Flim offered, "So we will put you down for two on preorder?"

Twilight Sparkle smirked. "No. You aren't far enough along to take preorders, are you? You don't have a repeatable production process, only a prototype under development. Do you even have a plan for production? Honestly, here. I am not trying to bust you. I am trying to save you."

Flim seemed to deflate. "We haven't gotten that far."

Twilight stretched. "Well. There are some things you can do to keep bits flowing in. The prototype appears to function well enough to be worth paying for, which is a good start even if it just helps slow your bleed while you're working out the production details. And once a professional machine shop is making it, they'll handle maintaining the quality, and that'll leave you two free to handle refinement of the design, and sales."

After sharing a look with his brother, Flam said, "I say, Flim. Going straight does sound like a possibility after all."

"What sort of scam were you planning, if you don't mind my asking?"

He immediately backpedalled, "Oh, nothing! Nothing at all! We always aim to. We just…"

Twilight narrowed her eyes. That seemed doubtful. "Well. I'm watching you. But if you can keep it together…" And with that, she pulled out fifteen bits. In response to Flim's appearing to be about to say something, she said, "Don't even think of haggling. I was on there for a few minutes. But you did me good, so there you go."

The brothers were taken aback, unsure what to say; she began to leave, and they saw her to the door. Turning and smiling, she cheerily said, "And if I get any hint of you claiming endorsement, using my likeness, image, or anything else that you would reasonably expect me to disapprove of… well, I believe there are no unoccupied cages in Tartarus. So you'd each have a new roommate! But if you run into trouble, as you well may, you have alternatives to cheating and getting to know Tirek a little better. I could employ you for something totally unrelated. I could buy the prototype."

Flam frowned. "How would we get it into production without the model?"

"You have drawings, don't you?" As she looked at them, she sighed. "You don't have drawings. No wonder. I'll lend - rather, the library I run will lend you a book about how to make mechanical drawings. A regular library loan, same terms as anypony else who asks. Also, if you are going to take more than a few months, I think you could do better to move out of the second highest cost of living area of Equestria. In the course of my being head of state, I've noticed that Vanhoover and Baltimare both have cheap warehouse space, affordable food and parts, and better access to a wider variety of parts than you have here. Yes, they're boring cities compared to Las Pegasus, no doubt."

Flim and Flam were crestfallen at all this telling-them-what-to-do, so Twilight added, "Look. You two are smart. You have talent. Isn't it good news if all you need to really make it, can be done so easily? Read a book, write down what you've done, and then work less hard than you were planning to work in the first place?"

Flim perked up. "Why yes, brother of mine, that does sound like a plan we can follow."

Flam, eyes narrowed, shallowly nodded. "Yes, I think we can."

"And if you can, you will find it very rewarding." She winked, and left.

Oh Celestia, why did I say it like that? They might think I'd want to screw them. Her wings did not freeze, but her brain did. Well. I could. I think I have them intimidated into not mentioning anything, and though I'm vastly superior to them in power, they're far from innocent, so somehow it seems less like I need to protect them. And if they can pull this off clean, then I might not find them repulsive, so… maybe? These thoughts finally surfaced onto her face as a grimace. No, this is a very stupid idea. Nope nope.

Rarity

Spike walked a bit taller, his waddle now better characterized as a strut. It had only been three weeks since Starlight's advice, and he was feeling really friendly towards Sparkler, and better yet it seemed like she was feeling the same way. Nothing romantic - yet - but he could make a try at changing that any time. And on top of that, he'd asked Rainbow Dash in confidence just how okay it would be hypothetically to date Scootaloo, and she'd replied that if he treated her right, fine by her. Not that she was available at the moment (her on again, off again with Rumble was presently on), but that could change in a week, and if they were both dating for the same reason - leverage with somepony else - that would be even better. And on top of that, he was making progress with Lily. Not much, but enough that if everything else failed… well, if everything else failed, there was an obvious common factor in that, that would still be present when trying to get Lily's attention: him.

Stop it, Spike. I'm doing enough better now that even if I foul it up two times in a row, I'm together enough I can learn from it and do better. Like, maybe I'd be rushing or moving too suddenly, or something else I can examine and fix. I could even ask Starlight about it. I don't need to think these things are permanent. Just look how far I've come in three weeks.

No, the real question is, do I want ask out Sparkler first, or give a try to Rarity? I could use a practice date with somepony else, but it'd be unfair to her to just go off and ask somepony else without asking her first. So I have to at least give her the chance to say yes.

He adjusted course and headed to the boutique. Rarity was sitting at her sewing machine, head low, ears deep in frills. Having heard the chime, she straightened after a few seconds, when she'd reached a good stopping-point. "Spike!" she smiled.

Spike smiled back as he approached to a good conversational distance. He didn't particularly feel nervous - his plan was for her to say no, after all. "Rarity? I would like to ask you: would you like to go on a date?"

She immediately replied, and halfway through, resumed stitching. "I'm busy, darling. I just got back from the grand court session with all three princesses and the five of us, which was somewhat tedious, and I know you weren't exactly required to come but you have a throne too so you might want to ask to join us some time. It's just once every six weeks, anyway. Anyway, while I was there I had a wonderful idea I just couldn't let go of, and I just have to make it reality."

Huh. Given her immediate response, I wonder if she actually heard me properly. On a whim, he clarified - "Yes, I didn't mean right this minute, or even today. Next week is fine. Next month is fine. Next year is fine. Just, will you go on a date with me, and in the mean time not go on a date with anypony else? I can wait, if you will wait."

Rarity put her materials all the way down this time, and took off her glasses. "I see." She looked off to the side for a few seconds, and then looked back at him, still wearing a neutral face. After a few more seconds, it softened and she said, "You have been looking good lately, haven't you? Very grown up. I really have been so busy between one thing and another, I've hardly noticed. All right. How about after the school year ends… day after the Summer Sun celebration? Or better, we can go to it together."

Around five months. A long time. But it was there. And Summer Sun Celebration was not exactly a romantic event, but they could work something out. Spike stepped forward and gave her a hug, and stood back to look her in the eyes. "I'll be there. It's a date. We can work out the details closer to the day."

And then she took a step forward and kissed him. Not one of the several he'd had on the cheek, but on the lips, just a graze, but yes, on the lips. And he kissed her back, just the same. And then she kissed him again, a little bit more pressure.

Before he could come back closer, she coughed. "Well, that seals the deal. But I really must get back to work, and sadly this is not the kind you can help with. See you later, Spike!"

Spike nodded and turned to go. As he reached the door, she added, "We can, ah, perhaps improve this seal later?"

She wants to kiss more. Sweet! And she's saying it with humor! "I'll bring my caulk gun. Oh Celestia what did I just say." He slapped a claw over his mouth and reddened.

Rarity restrained herself to a giggle for only a second before falling over, laughing hysterically. After ten seconds she managed to get her breathing under control. "Your lips will do just fine, dear. Come here." He came over, and they did one more kiss, and then he left for real.

Wow!

Pinkie quickly came pronking alongside, jittery. "Any news, Spike? I feel a doozy coming."

"Yes, but if I try to tell you I can tell something embarrassing will happen, so can we go somewhere privatooof!"

She had swept him up in her forelegs, run down the street a ways and vaulted in through her open bedroom window, hurled him onto her bed and stood above him, staring down. "What is it?", she asked.

"Rarity kissed me three times and I kissed her once and she asked me to come back later for more kissing when she's not busy. And she agreed to a proper date, but it's not soon."

She hopped out of the bed. "Really? Get out of here."

He leaned up on his elbows. "Yeah, really."

"No, seriously, get out of here, you shouldn't be lying on my bed if you're dating Rarity."

"You put me here!"

She wailed with considerable volume, "I didn't know you were dating Rarity! Now get…" she stopped as Spike leaped up and stuffed a claw in her mouth.

Softly, he said, "I'm leaving, and you're not yelling that I was in your bed. It's innocent - at least, I hope it's innocent, right Pinkie?"

She nodded, dragging the claw he had in her mouth around.

He continued, "We won't specially hide what you just did with me because there's nothing to be ashamed of, though I don't see any particular reason to mention it either. And if you want to give me a friendly hug of congratulations that's fine. How about you prepare a party, in honor of its being half of the way between hearth's warming and hearts and hooves, and you and I secretly know it's about this, but the secret doesn't come out in the party, it comes out after I've had my date with Rarity. Does that sound like a plan? Or maybe nearly everypony will know by then, and we can say it then. But don't get too excited about its being a big reveal party, it'll just be a things-are-going-very-well party. All right?"

He took the claw out, and she nodded more vigorously. "That sounds like a great plan, Spike. What sort of games do you want at the party?"

Something a bit more grown up? "Charades."

"That's it?"

"With props."

"Ooooh. Okay, that takes longer. Sounds good."

"And we'll have punch with ice cream, and tiny rubies to sprinkle on."

She nodded. "Half hearth half heart cupcakes?"

He nodded. "Sounds good. And since Twilight's going to be pretty much stuck in Canterlot for the next week at least, and we don't want to wait that long, we can have it in Canterlot."

Pinkie nodded, went to her desk and began writing and murmuring. Spike slipped out of the room and out of Sugarcube Corner. After a moment of thought, he headed over to the school to find Starlight. Best to defuse Pinkie by telling everypony in advance, probably. Plus, this was her idea.

As it turned out, the office door was closed. After a few minutes, a student came out, looking worried but hopeful, and Spike went in after. Starlight was at her desk, still writing. She looked up. "What's up, Spike? Unless it's urgent, I'd like to finish writing down my notes from that meeting."

"I'll wait." He began quivering a little.

She glanced at him and thought for a moment. "You're doing well. A little too well for it to be… did you… did you get a date with Rarity?"

He nodded. "And we kissed, on the lips, for real. It's happening. It's happening! Thank you so much, Starlight. I owe you."

She reared up and gave a mighty cheer that disrupted the nearest two classrooms, and gave him a high hoof which he met with a high three. "Spike, I knew you could do it! I didn't expect it to only take, what, three weeks? Nice. Now… how close did you get to any of the other mares?"

"Uh, very friendly with Sparkler."

"Then be sure to stay her friend, at least for a few more weeks. Suddenly dropping off the map is rude."

He nodded. "Shouldn't be a problem. She is nifty. I don't suppose I should mention why I picked up her acquaintance again after all these years, right?"

Starlight's eyes widened. "Noooo, that does not seem like a good idea."

"Well, thanks!"

~~~~

Starlight watched him leave. She stared at her hooves in front of her. Dating advice guru powers deactivate. And back to time travel. Well, at this point, not so much the time travel part, as whether I should even ask Twilight about going ahead with it. Don't use magic to solve your problems, she's said. But… she used magic to unseal the Pillars, and this is a lot more like that than anything… Okay, I guess I should ask her.

Which I'm thinking for the same reasons as the last twenty times I've gone over this.

To her great surprise, Twilight walked in. She drooped into the chair across the desk. "Starlight, I… I'm beat up. Court is so exhausting, and I haven't been able to sleep right in the Canterlot palace, lately. I just had to portal home and sleep in my own bed… and I accidentally went to the school portal, and now I'm too tired to reactivate it. At least I didn't end up at the treehouse." She cut off her complaining as she saw Starlight's face. "Whoa there. What's wrong?"

I'll take that as a sign to spill the beans. "I was debating asking you whether this was a case where I should maybe use magic to solve a personal problem."

Dimly, Twilight asked, "What problem would that be?"

Starlight hesitated, then offered, "How about I describe what the first step is."

Twilight sat down.

"I will go out to the outskirts of the Everfree forest and dig a deep hole."

"So far doesn't sound like it has to do with either a personal problem or magic, except that you'd probably use magic to dig the hole."

Starlight held up a hoof as if to point out something that was missing. "If I find Applejack's parents petrified in the hole, then we release them."

"Of course we would, if we did, but why would you expect to find Applejack's parents petrified in the hole?"

"Because if I do find them petrified in the hole, I will then proceed to go sixteen years back in time and put them there."

Twilight froze.

Starlight added, "Obviously, I would run this plan by their family first. Springing it as a surprise would be rather rude."

Slowly, Twilight asked, "You'd ask them before or after you dig the hole?"

Starlight readily answered, "Before. If I wouldn't go back in time, then there's no reason to check."

Twilight took a deep breath, then another. "Let's not mention it to them before we've also run it by Starswirl. This sounds like it could be not so great."

Starlight coughed. "You know, I'm not overly impressed with Starswirl." She was mildly surprised to see Twilight retain a blank expression. She must really be tired. Starlight added, "You've surpassed him in pure dimension magic. He couldn't work his way out of your castle last year when its teleport maze was turned against us, but you could."

"If he'd had the benefit of the last thousand years of magical theory, he would have worked it out too."

Starlight took the opportunity to dredge up an old argument: "We would have figured out many more things if he hadn't intentionally hidden so much, and then there are the incorrect theorems like no time travel, which we both know perfectly well is false."

Twilight gave the return argument yet again. "He lied, yes, to prevent ponies from pursuing things that could destroy Equestria entirely by accident." The 'like you' didn't need to be said.

This time, Starlight did not let that stand. "Some things were dangerous. But there are ways to do time travel that guarantee not to change the present. The way you contacted yourself with the week-long loop, for instance. That spell could only produce a stable loop. Useless, but not an existential threat to Equestria. As opposed to the way I, ah, did not involve such a safety feature. Point is, there are ways to do it right. And we have access to those ways. And I'm afraid that he will reflexively say no rather than think it through."

"He might say that he'd reflexively say no because he already thought it through."

"And it might be a good time to revisit that reasoning, or at least let me know what it is, especially since the reason for the lie is no longer valid - you weren't exactly discreet about your own time travel incident."

Twilight nodded. "Yes, we can at least ask about it. How about I write the letter rather than you?"

Starlight considered her past interactions with Starswirl. "Yes, please do. But perhaps not right now?"

Twilight, not hearing that last bit, fetched a page and blinked. "Wow, I have deja vu going on."

"Really?"

"From Flurry's visit."

"How so?"

"Ah, sorry, shouldn't have even mentioned it. All right, how do we put this?"

Starlight took the page from her, and began walking her back to the castle. Twilight followed, her eyes drooping. Starlight spoke up to keep her awake so she wouldn't need to carry her. "How about before we write to him, we think it through more ourselves, and just use him as a check? I can see two arguments against. First, what we've mentioned - normalizing this could lead to ponies doing bad dangerous things. But we can keep it secret, and we don't need to do the bad dangerous things. The plan isn't to alter history. Second… we… how do I put this? If the plan works, then there is an acausal loop which did a bad thing."

"What bad thing?"

"I would come along and petrify them for sixteen years for no good reason. If it weren't for the loop, that wouldn't have happened, and that's a bad thing."

"But if you didn't have a loop, then… oh. So we can choose, did we cause this bad thing or not? We can let nature have done something terrible, or we have done something…" A few seconds pause as she yawned. "…not as terrible, but still quite bad. Hrm."

Starlight considered, "Seems to me like it's better to have loops like that, and best use them used early and often. A colt is missing? Well, turns out that I took him out for ice cream without letting anyone know, rather than a timberwolf having torn his head off. If we do it sooner rather than later, the down side is much, much weaker. And the spells are easier, too."

"You want to be known as a mare who secretly gives kids ice cream without asking?"

"Hmm. Well, that was just an example… Like, in this case, with the Apples, I could let the cockatrice do the petrification, they'd never know it was me. As for finding them, I could say it was a special scanning spell that only works rarely, and we got lucky."

"Somepony would want the details on that spell."

"Then use Pinkie Pie as the information conduit instead. Everyone's used to her… being… Sweet mother of Celestia!" She'd stiffened and straightened, staring at the wall, trying to piece together some coherent thoughts. "Is that how she does it?"

Twilight sighed. "I wonder when ponies are going to begin swearing by me."

When she didn't follow that up and stopped moving, Starlight Glimmer figured that was the end of the conversation. She just picked the princess up in her magic and carried her the rest of the way home. She seems on board. With luck, I'll have New Leaf back in no time!

~~~~

Sparkler sat awkwardly in the beanbag chair, watching Spike read a book. And that was all. The previous few times, they'd read, sure, but they'd also talked. Quite a bit, and she'd gotten a bit of a special feeling. Now he was basically ignoring her. Not quite, but a bit.

"Spike?"

Spike raised his head.

"Let's go for a walk."

"What sort of walk?"

"Like, around town."

"I, uh… hmm." Sparkler narrowed her eyes, and his widened a little. "Sure! Let's go, I guess that's fine."

Sparkler got up, and Spike put the book down. "What wouldn't be fine about it?" Spike didn't answer right away, so Sparkler turned and shouted out to her mother, "Heading out for a walk!"

Derpy called back, "Okay, see you later!"

Spike didn't answer until they were outside. "Well, I, ah, didn't want to cause hilarious stupid misunderstandings about what's going on."

"What do you mean? We're on a walk, and who would care?"

"Well, I asked Rarity on a date. And she said yes."

Sparkler kept walking. After a moment, she said, "And that means you don't talk while we're reading and you don't want to walk with me in public."

"I just need to figure out my new boundaries. Right?"

"That makes sense." And it did. But it didn't feel good.

They finished a walk of a respectable length, and they talked about a variety of topics on the way, and Spike picked up his book and left, and Sparkler lay on her bed and moped. She couldn't even figure out why she was so upset. Obviously it was something about Spike's pulling away, but she couldn't put her hoof on exactly what about it.

Derpy came in and sat down next to her. They sat in silence for a minute before Sparkler said, "I don't even know what's wrong."

Derpy thought for a moment. "That's not usually how it goes with me. Is it Spike?"

Sparkler didn't answer, but half a minute later asked, "Why do they leave us?"

"Who?"

"Stallions. My dad, Dinky's dad." She didn't notice Derpy momentarily stiffen at the mention of their father.

"Dinky's father didn't leave us. He died."

"Oh. I… thought…" Sparkler didn't finish that thought.

Her mother knew precisely what she'd been thinking, and put a hoof on her shoulder. "No, no. He was very sweet, and very, very terminally ill."

Sparkler swallowed. "I'm sorry to bring it up."

Derpy sighed and shook her head. "It's all right."

"What's it like to lose somepony you love?"

Derpy laughed shortly. "Well. I loved him, some, but I wasn't in love. You had left for school. I was so proud! I thought I wanted to do that again. Make another wonderful foal. And I was horny. He was, too. And he was sweet. And dying. And a virgin. And… I just don't know what went right." She grinned.

Sparkler stared at her mother. "Wow. That is the most messed-up but sweet thing I've ever heard. Maybe not messed-up, but weird, anyway. Who was it?"

Derpy hesitated, but then shrugged. "Maple Turner."

Sparkler frowned, then went agog. "First, what? He's been dead all this time? Whoa! I didn't realize! Second, what? He- he's my age! Mom!"

"No, he was in your class, but he was held back twice from being sick so much."

Sparkler's ears folded back at her mom's apparent defense of the action. "Still!"

"The doctors said he had a week. If that. He died before it could go wrong. And maybe it helped."

"How so?"

"After, he wanted to live. So he did, for six weeks."

Sparkler wasn't sure what to say. "Did his parents know?"

Derpy shrugged. "I think Time knows. He treats Dinky almost like a grandchild."

Sparkler blinked. "… which she is. Wow. Uh, what did Maple have, anyway?"

"It wasn't genetic. It wasn't contagious."

Sparkler shrugged. "Okay, I guess that covers that. Still. Wow."

Derpy lowered her head. "Do you think less of me? Or Dinky?"

Sparkler blinked. "No. It's something to absorb, but I'm okay. Huh." She nuzzled her mother. "So. Did my dad…"

Derpy swallowed. "Enough for now, pumpkin?" Sparkler nodded.

Tempest Shadow

As soon as princess Celestia was back and she was free to leave her royal duties behind, Twilight Sparkle knew where she needed to go: the Crystal Empire. Cadence could help her, at least.

She walked through the city, thinking back to her last meeting with Shining and Flurry. That… was a very weird meeting. I can't believe I said those things. Were they even true? Did I not mind if he is… do I want him? Specifically? I've fantasized a great deal about him now, even while I clopped, but now that's true about a great many ponies. Maybe he was just topical at the time. And what a topic.

She came to where Cadence was in the central chamber, interrupting a meeting. Cadence said, "Twilight! What brings you?"

There was no way she could bring this up now. "Oh, just taking a break. Didn't mean to interrupt anything."

"Oh, wonderful! But yes, I'm a bit busy. Shining and Flurry are at the arena. I'll be down when I'm done here."

Twilight smiled an apology to the crystal ponies in the meeting, and departed for the arena. The event, whatever it had been, was ending; Twilight headed down to the field and saw Shining talking with some ponies; Flurry wandered into an adjacent building. I wonder what she's up to… Twilight thought for a moment, and went to Shining first. She flew over and trotted around into his field of view. Speaking of view, she noted how his physique rivaled those of the athletes. Anyway, back on topic…

"Twily!"

"BBBFF!" Thy shared a brief hug. "No emergencies, just got off the rotation. Any particular news?"

He shook his head. "Nope. Flurry? Your aunt…" He looked around. "Ah, have you seen her?"

Twilight gestured. "Over there."

Shining nodded. "Okay. Well, we have some business left out here. Can you watch her for a few minutes?"

Twilight nodded briskly and headed in to the building where Flurry had gone. Which way?

She randomly chose left and flew right into the stallions' locker-room as they were washing up. A quick glance revealed a lack of Flurry Heart. She waved sheepishly and went the other way. And there she found Flurry sitting on a bench, staring at the sweaty, toned mares taking off sporting equipment and washing and scrubbing and paying no mind to the little filly.

Flurry smirked at her, then returned her gaze to the mares. "Get a good look at the guys?"

"I was looking for you."

"Not a bad guess, then."

"I just didn't know which way was which."

"Then really not a bad guess."

"You're really cheeky today, aren't you?"

Flurry shrugged, then whined. "Shoot. You drew attention."

Twilight blinked, then wondered what she had been sitting there for in the first place. "Flurry? How about we step outside."

"Yeah. I should go running so I can have legs like those."

Twilight's eyes narrowed. "Yes, let's."

So Flurry Heart jumped off the bench and they went out on the field. She reminded Twilight, "Running only, right? Working on legs!" They ran around for ten minutes, until Flurry Heart was exhausted. She flopped down and complained, "How can you keep going like that? You're a bookworm!"

"I've also walked the length of Equestria around ten times over on various missions, emergencies, and social calls. Also, what's a sprint for you is a jog for me."

Flurry looked liked she wanted to object, but was still breathing heavily. They walked back in to the showers, this time to use them. Flurry Heart rushed ahead, then stopped, backing away. Twilight, seeing her alarm, hurried to catch up. Upon coming around the corner, she saw what had caused alarm. "Oh, hi, Tempest." Flurry seems alarmed. Why? "Have you met Princess Flurry Heart?"

She finished rinsing the shampoo out of her mane, then turned and glared at the filly, who was nodding. "Yes."

"So, uh, is there a problem between you two?"

Flurry nodded again. "She glares at me."

Tempest sighed, attempting and ultimately succeeding in controlling herself, and explained. "After we had our little talk, princess," (Twilight was momentarily confused until she realized Tempest had meant Flurry Heart) ", I've had some truly outrageous thoughts. Strange, twisted. Things I never thought even when I was under the employ of the Storm King. Things beyond what I witnessed then. And I can't help but think I am not the only one so affected."

Twilight's eyes widened. "Really?"

"What about you? Have you remained unchanged since you spoke with her last?"

"Er." Well, aside from getting an incestuous infatuation (but I can set that aside easily enough) and being attracted to Flim and Flam (again, easily ignored… or worked with in a reasonable way), and a few weird thoughts, but then there's Spike getting up the courage to ask out Rarity. And going from never having masturbated once to doing so six times in twelve days… that was nice. I've also had a hard time sleeping, but I'm not sure I can attribute that to her. "She has said some things that made me think of some things differently. But it's been a good thing."

A raised eyebrow from the warlord. Flurry, meanwhile, was shrinking back, hiding behind Twilight's legs. Tempest lowered herself towards them. Twilight lifted a leg as a bar to keep her from getting any closer.

Around this, ignoring it, Tempest said, "Watch your tongue, little lady. It can do more than you think."

Flurry wailed, "I didn't mean to! I just wanted to know!"

Confused, Twilight said, "What did she even say to you?"

Setting aside Twilight's question, Tempest first addressed Flurry - "I know. That is why I am telling it to you as advice." Then, to Twilight, "She simply asked what families were like in the various places I'd gone under the Storm King. How mares met stallions, how they got married. A very innocent cultural question."

"Then why blame her for the result?"

The mare squinted. "Ever since it, I have not been entirely myself. The words of the question could not explain it. It must be some magic."

Carefully, Twilight asked, "How much not yourself?"

"Would you freely speak of all of the new kinds of thoughts you've had since she spoke with you? Ha! I can see your eyes. You know what I'm talking about."

Twilight lowered her head. "Yes, I do."

Flurry Heart's ears were pinned back. "Did I do something bad?"

Twilight said, "We are considering the possibility that something you did had bad effects. We could not have expected that to happen, so it isn't your fault."

"What is it?"

"We don't know."

After a moment, Twilight asked, "Can you tell me in confidence? I can share what I've thought with you if you would like to compare."

Tempest took a moment to decide. After a deep breath, she nodded. Twilight said, "Flurry, would you like to find your father?"

She glumly nodded, and left the shower out towards the field.

Twilight turned her own shower on, hard, to mask the sound, then hesitantly said, "I… became attracted to a pair of twins who at best are underhoofed and at worst are simply swindlers."

"That's all?"

"No, I'm starting with the milder things. You?"

Tempest's face hardened a little. "I… have had a recurring fantasy about… abusing my position as field commander in the Storm King's army."

"For sexual gratification?" Tempest nodded, and Twilight acknowledged with her own nod. "I also became… significantly… attracted to my brother, when I certainly had not before."

Tempest relaxed, as Twilight had put something more substantial forward. She closed her eyes. "I have also had a recurring fantasy in which… you escaped your prison… and…"

A pause. Twilight suggested, "… had my way with you?" Tempest nodded, and Twilight provided, "I have imagined that I was holding court and some annoying stallion would come up and make some ridiculous demand and I would sentence him to eating me out. Or I'd delegate that to the assistant princess, whichever that was, or I was the assistant princess at the time and the reigning one would delegate it to me."

"I would molest the other three adult princesses while they were petrified."

"I would use the massage machine the swindlers made, with my friends. Like we're all sitting around having a conversation about something else while it's rubbing us to orgasm. Often, the swindlers silently come in and begin having sex with us all, two at a time, and we're still lying there discussing something else. Sometimes it's chitchat, sometimes it's an intense discussion of matters of great importance. Sometimes that's actually the main thrust of the dream, and the sexual aspect is just in the background. For some reason, they always get Fluttershy pregnant but none of the others. Sometimes, Spike is dusting or reading comic books, just as uncaring as the rest of us."

Tempest began chuckling. "I would fight against the Ursa by crawling up its snatch and shocking it until it lost bowel control and it peed starlight all over the place."

"I bet nopony's ever said that before. I would teach sex ed with a practical component."

"Yeah, and everypony's said THAT before."

"True. But it was a joke before, and now I… kind of devised a comprehensive lesson plan. Anyway, I could keep going but I think you have the idea. You?"

Tempest nodded. "I have several variations of the first one, but elaborating would be needless."

Twilight sighed. "So, where does that leave us? Talking with Flurry got us to think of things that we wouldn't have. But we haven't done any of them. At least, I haven't done any of mine, and all those you named were not possible."

"She is an alicorn. Of something."

"Of inappropriate sexual fantasies? I don't think we need one of those."

"What else, then? Remnant of dark magic from Sombra?"

Twilight thought. "Remnant of some magic, but I don't think it'd be Sombra. I've felt him."

Tempest snickered. "Mister Sombra, please show on the doll where Twilight Sparkle felt you."

"More seriously, I think I need to do more reading of Crystal Empire history to see if there's some other ancient powerful magic in the areas besides him, the heart, and princess Skyla."

"Who?"

"The princess that Cadence is probably a reincarnation of."

Tempest blinked. "Reincarnation?"

"Yes. Sombra was a bad king but an ordinary degree of bad at first. As he descended into madness and total tyranny, Skyla ascended and opposed him. He captured her and used her in his immortality experiments. When he killed her, that started the war that resulted in his downfall. Anyway, more recently, when Cadence ascended and got her cutie mark with the Crystal Heart, and it was exactly 1000 years after Skyla died… then Celestia realized that maybe Sombra's experiments had worked and she was the reincarnation of Skyla. It was certainly an early attempt at what Sombra did to himself, and Nightmare Moon further improved on a few decades later."

Tempest blinked. "Huh. And this is not publicly known because…"

"A few reasons. First and most obviously, we aren't entirely sure. If she is, it didn't work very well. Cadence doesn't really have all that much in common with Skyla. Plus, it would be a good thing done by Sombra, which would cause confusion. And… Skyla was kind of a dud as far as alicorns go. Cadence's accomplishments in this life are practically 100% of the reason to think she's special, even if she is Skyla's reincarnation. Furthermore, it would be demoralizing to think that Sombra is actually totally immortal, beyond the possibility of his being destroyed or even permanently captured. Lastly, it would point powerful dark unicorns towards unfortunate avenues of research."

Tempest nodded slowly. "I see. What was Skyla alicorn of?"

"Not clear." Twilight blinked. "Hmm. Flurry being Skyla fits too, in a way. She was born already ascended because she already did that a thousand years ago. And she would be able to use her domain powers but not understand them yet. And it also fits with Skyla's immortality being worse than Sombra's since it was a work in progress. Oh my."

"What would be our plan of action, then?"

"Hmm. Well. What I did with her before was explain why certain rules were in place, and she understood and agreed. Maybe she was only a threat before then? On the other hoof… maybe we need a bit more along those lines."

Tempest considered. "I think you should raise this with princess Cadence at least."

"Have you mentioned your concerns to her?"

Her ears flattened back. "No. I… do not have the same fluidity of communication with her that we share."

Twilight thought. "And in the mean time, what should we do with ourselves? Are your… visions interfering with your life? I've found mine a bit distracting at times."

Tempest snorted, and thought, but did not reply.

Twilight continued, "I think we have a good opportunity for an experiment here. One of us can enact one of her thoughts, while the other does something generally sexy that wasn't one of her thoughts. We carefully compare our notes from before and after."

Tempest raised an eyebrow. "It will have to be you enacting the special thoughts, since mine are generally impossible."

"One wasn't. I could have 'my way' with you."

Tempest's ears returned to their flattened position. "Uh." After five seconds, she managed to blurt, "I didn't realize that you are interested in mares."

"Not specially attracted, but I'm not so averse that I wouldn't do it for science. I definitely wouldn't normally fantasize about it, which makes it perfect for the experiment."

Tempest licked her lips. "I…"

Twilight concentrated. "Write down the best you recall your feelings from before, then what you're thinking now, and we'll record after."

Tempest, now breathing heavily, cut in, "I think we shouldn't. At least ask Cadence about Skyla first, follow that, before we do anything that could make it worse."

Twilight swallowed. "I, uh. Wow, I got carried away there. I guess… in case we discover through other means that an avenue for release is better than keeping it pent up. Or if you become positively impaired, to the point that it's worth the risk." A deep breath. "Sooooo. Hmm. One big question is, how widespread is this? To that end, we need to check in on ponies whom we've previously contacted, who have or have not previously met Flurry Heart. If we affected them, we need to find out. One example would be Flim and Flam. Hmm. I think I terrify them in the wrong way to get this information out of them. Could you go and investigate? In the mean time, I'll check up on ponies who have definitely had contact with her."

Tempest blinked. "You'll have to have me reassigned, but assuming so, yes."

This plan set, Twilight had a nice evening with her family. She never did find a good way to bring up the question of whether Flurry was a magical sexiness plague-bearer – Cadence seemed to think the problem had been entirely resolved, so it was too awkward to bring it up. And the boyfriend question receded, with the more urgent question of what was going on with Flurry foremost.

Interviews

Twilight looked around Rainbow Dash's living room nervously. Dash leaned forward in her sofa. "Well, get on with it. You clearly came here for a reason."

Twilight finished gathering her thoughts and delivered pretty much what she'd prepared to say. "I'm trying to investigate something. I don't want you to guess what I'm looking for and then provide it, so I'm going to ask a bunch of questions."

"Shoot."

Twilight pulled out a scroll and took it from the top: "In the past five or six weeks, have you had any new, unusual, seemingly inexplicable cravings for food?"

"No, and if you're asking if I'm pregnant, definitely, definitely not."

Twilight chuckled. "In the past five or six weeks, have you had any new, unusual, seemingly inexplicable violent urges?"

"No."

This questioning passed through hobbies, violent fantasies, tastes in literature, skills, antipathy towards specific ponies, lack of skill, pet peeves, sexual fantasies…

"Yes."

Twilight blinked. "Is it unusual for you to develop new and unusual new sexual fantasies?"

"Yeah, I'd been getting by on the usuals for years."

"Would you care to describe what makes these unusual?"

"Sure. So, the Wonderbolts have developed this new trick where we skywrite out this huge cock and balls… go ahead, laugh, it's ridiculous… and this equally huge cunt, and we use wind manipulation shove them into each other, and for some reason it's colossally sexy and everypony in the audience comes."

Twilight restrained her laughter.

"And, uh." Dash suddenly got awkward and stopped. "You're investigating where this came from, right?" Twilight nodded. "So, like, this didn't exactly come from inside of me?"

"Well, maybe it drew it from within you but it did the drawing, so to speak. To put it briefly, I absolutely will not judge you for what's in here. If it is not much, much worse than killing all unicorns to use their horns as dildos, I won't judge you. And no, I haven't come across that one, I just mean that's the worst thing I could think of, and I would calmly accept it."

Dash managed a full Spock eyebrow. "Okay. Well, then. So, my parents are in the crowd. And a bunch of schoolfoals. And they're affected too. And I kind of focus on their enjoyment of our trick."

Twilight nodded. "Any others?"

"Definitely. There's the one where Scootaloo shows me this new trick where I get on the scooter behind her, and it involves jumping through Discord's realm and somehow we both end up riding into her snatch, or mine. There's the one where it starts off as the usual dream where you forgot to get dressed for some event where you're supposed to be dressed, and it's a Wonderbolts show, only everypony thinks I'm super sexy and then over time the show degenerates to my being a pole dancer and I really get off on the adulation." After a moment, she unnecessarily added, "The sexy kind of pole dancer, not the purely gymnastic kind."

Twilight nodded.

"Instead of challenging Hoops and Dumb-bell to the race where I got my cutie mark, I bet I'm better at sex than them. Then I prove it by knocking them out with orgasms, and my cutie mark is really semen on top of my mane."

Twilight snickered.

Dash considered. "I think that's all of them."

"When did they start?"

"The first was right after Flurry Heart asked me what makes stallions and mares as good looking as me. Her words, not mine."

Well, there went that line of questions - didn't need to even prod to get that popping out. "I see."

"Now, dish. You got some, right?"

"Oh yes, I do. My brother and I are busting Flim and Flam for some shady operation, and they beg for mercy, and somehow it ends up that they end up doing me while my brother whips them gently."

"Ooh, I like that one."

"Umm. I'm a little filly and I secretly watch Cadence and Shining make out in our living room. Then I notice my mom watching them too. Then I notice my dad standing behind her eating her out. Another one where while I was a student, Princess Celestia took me to her super-secret consort that I made up, for sex education, and it turns out to be my dad, but in the story neither of us ever finds out, but Celestia's super turned on by it. And there's one where a list circulates around, of ponies who declare they think it'd be appropriate for Celestia to bang random ponies who volunteer, and they're volunteering, and Celestia gets the list, and picks some, and this has been going on for centuries, and Luna starts her own list when she gets back, and when I became a princess my own list gets started for me, and when I find out about it I use it too, and the three of us compare notes and find somepony who's on all our lists and we all do him together. And then we find out there's a list for Flurry Heart, and she's treated it as a to-do list instead of a menu."

Dash groaned. "That's enough, I get the feeling you have more."

Twilight nodded. "Thanks, that's helpful. Well, need to go."

"Tell me the juicy ones!"

"Would you want me to tell yours?"

"Sure, if they'll share back. I told you."

Twilight facehoofed. "Ask them, then. Gotta fly." She stepped out and took off.

A few minutes later, she was sharing tea with a few raccoons and a python. She had been debating giving Fluttershy the full battery of questions, or not, and decided to abbreviate to make it less torturously drawn out. When Fluttershy returned with the cookies, Twilight asked, "Fluttershy, I suspect that something strange and magical happened five or six weeks ago, that could implant strange notions in ponies' heads. Have you been having any new and unusual fantasies recently? Particularly… abusive, or incestuous ones? Or pedophilic?"

Fluttershy's eyes widened and she stared across the cottage at nothing in particular. "Oh! Oh my."

Twilight knew to give her a minute to digest this, and didn't move a muscle for a minute, except to very slowly breathe. The python blinked.

Fluttershy suddenly turned to face her. "Yes."

Twilight gave her an encouraging smile and asked the next least intrusive question. "Did it start at a particular date?"

"It was the first week after winter break at the school. I remember having so much trouble facing the students."

"Did it have to do with the students?"

She tentatively shook her head, then firmly. "No. It was about us and our parents, mainly."

Twilight nodded. "That sounds exactly like it."

Without further prompting, Fluttershy elaborated, "For some reason, it was very important to perform this fertility experiment, so we got our fathers all together. Except I substituted Big Mac for Bright Mac, obviously. And we gathered at the map table and stood in front of our chair, forelegs up on the table, and our fathers (and Big Mac) had sex with us from behind. And then they rotated to the left so you took Big Mac and your dad was on Rainbow Dash, and her dad was on me, and my dad was on Pinkie, and Mr. Pie was on Rarity, and Magnum was on Applejack. And then they rotated again, all the way around, filling us up each time. And after each time we were all pregnant, Starlight would come by and take some data and cast a spell, and we weren't any cleaner but we weren't pregnant anymore, and I know it takes a few days to actually get pregnant but it was a dream. The dream recurred enough times I got every rotation, and it was weirdly consistent for a dream and the order didn't shift around."

She paused and took a deep breath. "Then I began imagining that we were leaning on the table diagonally, and it was a bit smaller, so each of us could reach our heads over to the base of the penis of the stallion to our right, and each of us licked his balls while all that was happening."

A deep breath. "Then I began dreaming it more elaborate. Our mothers were there too, and we were sitting on our thrones but slouching back with our privates forward, and our fathers were still having sex with us but now our mothers were guiding their penises in and licking where we conjoined. And the mothers rotated around the table the other way from the fathers, so, say, Cookie Crumbles was licking where your father was impregnating Applejack. And Applebloom took her mother's place. And Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle and Spike joined in by standing between the seats and, ah, helping out the mares on either side. Like, once, when Windy Whistles was helping Mr. Pie have sex with me and my mom was helping Magnum have sex with Pinkie, Spike lay on his back and ate my mom while Mrs. Whistles rode him."

She took a deep breath. "And THEN, I began imagining that the fathers would all gather around one of us at a time, with our mother. Like, I was mounted on my father, and my mother was facing me with… Bow Hothoof mounting her on the top in the ass and she was riding Magnum and Mr. Pie was mounting my ass, and your father and Big Mac reared up with their penises in between my face and my mother's, and we were licking them and sometimes rubbing them against each other, and sometimes taking a break and kissing each other with tongue. And Applejack was lying on her back under Big Mac with Apple Bloom lying on her chest each with one leg between the other's legs, and they were both licking his balls. And on your dad's side, your mom lay under him licking his balls, and you and your brother lapped at her, and Cadence licked you, and Flurry Heart hugged her father's penis and rubbed it until he came so hard it arced over and hit Mr Pie in the face, and it got on my wing, and on your face, and hers."

Twilight waited several seconds to be sure she was done, pondering in the mean time how glad she was that she was using a voice recorder spell rather than copying it down. "Uuuh. Does this bother you? Is it a bad dream?"

"No, it's really hot and I like it, except when Photo Finish shows up to take pictures all the time and is interrupting. If I'm trying to focus on, say, Big Mac using Bow Hothoof's semen as lube to mount me while the crusaders are lined up on his back dry humping him, and she keeps saying 'No! Yees!' it's annoying."

"Okay. And what's your opinion on doing that or things like it in real life?"

"Well, it's impractical? I don't think we would all agree to do that. If at least the six of us wanted to, maybe we could get coltfriends and do it with them instead of with our families. If that's all right with all of you, of course. But it probably isn't, so we won't."

"You are correct." … at least, about needing boyfriends. If I had one, that seems all too attractive an activity, but I shouldn't trust that impression. I doubt I'd have it if I were properly myself.

"I hope it didn't bother you."

"No, not at all. This has been very informative. When specifically did this start?"

"Oh, Princess Flurry Heart asked about a variety of animals starting families. I think the one about Salmon spawning may have set me off the most because you probably end up with a few children of siblings every generation, and if they lived more than one year you'd get parents in on it too."

"I see. Yes, this has been most informative. Thank you very much."

After finishing tea, Twilight headed into town and straight into Sugarcube corner. Pinkie was behind the counter with Carrot Cake; she asked to talk with her for a few minutes, and they agreed. Up in Pinkie's room, Twilight asked the same questions she had for Rainbow Dash.

Unlike Dash, Pinkie reported new and unusual and inexplicable thoughts on several topics, but they seemed to be within the range of what Twilight would consider normal for Pinkie.

"… any new, unusual, possibly disturbing sexual fantasies?"

Pinkie nodded. "Yeah, this one is even more unusual and inexplicable than the sauerkraut chocolate cake which now that I think about it, I think I actually read about it, so it's not all that inexplicable. You have to rinse it to get the brine off and then it just acts spongey and neutral.

"So I'm back on the rock farm and Limestone is really mad and Maud tells her she needs a dick in her and Limestone said it didn't help and Maud asks what she knows about having a dick in her and Limestone says that she's had more dicks in her than Maud can count and Maud says she can count quite high and Limestone says she has more dicks in her than that right now, and she begins squeezing stone dildos out of herself and Maud says they're very nice but they're not dicks and it's not the same. Then Limestone gets the last one out and Maud says that was just eleven hundred and forty three and she can count at least to thirteen hundred and fifty five and Limestone says fuck you and Maud says you don't have a dick and I don't have a dick but I guess we can have sex in other ways besides fucking and Limestone says fuck you harder and Dad comes out and whups her for language and says what are eleven hundred forty three of my dicks doing lying around and Maud blinks and says what and it turns out my dad grows a new stone dick every week and he fucks Limestone with it and it comes off in her and she's supposed to keep them all inside and that's why she keeps just getting crankier and crankier.

"Then Marble comes along and eats all of Dad's dicks and Limestone shakes her like crazy and I'm like, how about we stop doing this and have a party and everypony's invited but then Marble begins throwing up Dad's dicks and all the guests begin throwing up Dad's dicks. You're there, Rainbow Dash is there, your mom and dad are there, Applejack's there, all the princes and princesses are there, even Prince Rutherford and Unikitty, and , and a pair of first edition prints of The Prince, and we all throw up between two and five of Dad's dicks, except Flurry Heart, who has them popping out of both ends constantly."

She took a deep breath and blinked. "Also, I sometimes go about my day imagining that someone in some other universe is drawing me doing whatever I'm doing from a point of view that they can see my hoohah, and that's a lot bigger a deal there than it is here so they get really excited about that, and it gets me excited and I try to give them a show."

"As in, you actually do that, or you imagine doing it?"

"Yeah. It's not much. At most, flick my tail when nopony is around to see, turn back as if to look at them, and wink. And wink the other way too." She giggled. "Or I can do nothing at all!"

"Umm."

"Here, want to be an innocent bystander on one of these?" Pinkie Pie glanced behind herself and her tail rustled. "That was a good one. Your confused face will make a good background detail."

Twilight wasn't entirely sure what she'd meant in the first place. "Oooohkay. Can you say when this started?"

"Yupperooni! It was when princess Flurry Heart asked me what would make a party 'adult-themed' and I asked her what she meant and she said she overheard it when she was sneaking around on a roof and she thought I'd be the right pony to ask about it."

"What did you tell her?"

"Well, I said I didn't know, because I don't really know for absolute sure, but it definitely sounds like an interesting idea if it's anything like my dream."

"You are interested in vomiting multiple of your father's stone penises?"

"Not that part. After we were all done puking them up we used them on each other. That part. Too bad they don't exist, or I'd send out the invitations!"

"I… see. Well, I'll be going. Need to ask a few more ponies." Oh my. More than a few – Flurry Heart didn't only talk with my friends. Who else has been affected? Well, let's finish up us first.

Twilight flew off to Sweet Apple Acres and found Applejack in the field. "Hello, AJ."

AJ nodded in response and continued inspecting the growth on one of the trees.

"I've found that I have been hit by some sort of weird mind control effect, and so were some of our friends, and I wanted to find out if you have been too."

AJ raised her head and looked at her. "Huh. What does it do?"

"It makes you make up some… strange thoughts. Intrusive thoughts."

Applejack shrugged. "Haven't really noticed any."

"Even very private thoughts?"

Applejack shrugged. "No, not really? Everything seems normal."

Twilight facehoofed. "Okay, umm. Is it normal for you to feel incestuous or pedophilic thoughts?"

Applejack's head jerked and stared. She bit back a retort as she saw Twilight's look. "Do you mean you and our friends are? Cause if you're asking for any other reason… Anyway, no, I don't."

"Innnteresting."

Applejack's eyes widened. "And you do?"

"Only for the past few weeks, and only until we can get rid of this thing. Now, here's the big question. How have you interacted with Princess Flurry Heart?"

Applejack looked up into the sky, thinking back. "Hardly at all. We've said hello a few times. But Ah know Applebloom has spent some time with her."

Twilight swallowed. "Ah. Do you know where she is?"

"Are you going to ask her like you asked me?"

"I'll be indirect. If she hasn't got anything, she won't know what I'm asking about."

"And uh, when you say pedophilic…"

"I am far, far from enacting any of these thoughts in the real world."

Applejack nodded, then called out, "APPLEBLOOM!"

A few moments later, hoofbeats approached, and Applebloom skidded up. "Ah finished the fourth row. Fifth looks all good so far. Can I go?"

"Thanks, and soon. Now, can you answer Twilight's questions?"

Applebloom shrugged. "Sure. What is it, Twilight?"

"I'm researching a magical effect I discovered. Applejack, would you step away? In case she has something to say, given the nature of the effect, it may be the kind of thing that she would rather not say around you." After a moment, she added, "Though it does seem like another possible effect may be to be unusually willing to share such thoughts."

Applejack sighed, thought, shook her head, and galloped off.

To Apple Bloom, Twilight said, "So… the effect can cause strange, unusual, seemingly inexplicable, generally inappropriate intrusive thoughts."

Applebloom gaped. "Uuuuh."

"I'll take that as a yes. Have these thoughts occurred in particular after talking with Flurry Heart?"

Applebloom's eyes widened. "Uuuuuuuuh." She shook her head, then nodded. "Flurry Heart asked me if I had ever had a special somepony. Ever since then, I've… umm… well. Can I get back to you later?"

Twilight nodded. "You've already said enough to confirm. If you don't feel like you can share it with me, that's fine."

Apple Bloom nodded, swallowed, and took a step back.

"You can go; thanks."

Apple Bloom exited at high speed towards Ponyville; Twilight wrote some notes, then took off and flew at a relaxed pace in the same general direction. I've done everypony else. Interesting results so far. Time to ask Rarity, much as I dread it.

She glided down and knocked at Rarity's back door. Sweetie Belle answered. This threw Twilight off a bit. "Ah. Are you busy? I have some non-urgent but important and private business with Rarity."

Sweetie Belle blinked in surprise, then shrugged. "We were just… gossiping. I can head out."

Twilight smiled to accept her offer, and Sweetie exited. She made her way in; Rarity was lying on the lounge, levitating a glass. She raised an eyebrow. "So, it's time for our talk? I've been expecting you to come by."

"Oh, did one of the others already mention it to you?"

Rarity blinked faster. "I see - different talk, then? What is it, darling?" She fetched another glass and poured Twilight a drink.

"Well, over the past five or six weeks, have you had any… I think I'll wait until you've put down the bottle."

Rarity gave her an eyebrow raise, but finished pouring and put the bottle down.

Twilight continued, "Over the past five or six weeks, have you… note that you're not the only pony I'm asking, here, this has nothing to do with Spike… had any… oh, right, I have a list."

"You seem flustered, dear. What is it?"

Twilight lost her relative comfort now that she was talking about someone who could be including Spike. "Let's see. Have you had any new, unusual, seemingly inexplicable cravings for food?"

Rarity's eyebrow got another workout. "Not as such."

"In the past five or six weeks, have you had any new, unusual, seemingly inexplicable violent urges?"

Rarity properly sat up. "Whatever are you asking about? No!"

Twilight continued through the same list as before and got to the same point… "… any new, unusual, seemingly inexplicable sexual fantasies?"

Rarity nodded. "That's the one you're really asking about, of course. You said it's not about Spike."

"It's not. Thinking about him would be… normal! And… totally explicable, nothing to do with this! Anything else lately?"

Rarity hummed. "No, not lately."

"Reaallly. Innteresting."

"But starting a about a month ago, and ending more recently when Spike and I… arranged our date… yes."

"Can you elaborate?"

Rarity reddened. "Ah, no."

"Details can be important. For instance, I am affected, and I imagine that my family has been shuffled around so that my mother is now my daughter, Shining Armor's her little brother, and I'm married to my father."

"That's merely odd."

"It is a sexual fantasy."

"I stand by my statement."

"Rarity, if it doesn't involve something substantially worse than putting a bag over my head when I was a little filly and shoving me into a wood chipper to make fertilizer for your orchids, I'm not going to bat an eye."

Rarity's eyes widened. "Uuuh. Okay. I… I think this is not as bad as that."

"Good! Then we're fine."

Rarity took a few deep breaths. "So… I'm trying to reconnect with Sweetie Belle and she's complaining that she's older than I treat her. Only she's younger again. And to prove how old she is she begins hitting on stallions. And as the dream goes on she gets younger and younger and more and more brazen…" Rarity's voice dropped to a hiss, "…until she wraps up her street orgy by crawling back into our mother and inviting them all to…" a whisper. "…fuck our mother so she can suck on their tips. Her words. And from the depths of our mother's womb, she calls out 'Do you believe me now, Rarity?' So, I hope you can see why I considered yours merely odd."

"I see. Any others?"

"Well. That one actually continued, in a way. As if all I mentioned before hadn't been quite enough, Sweetie asked if I remembered the time with Fluttershy. So it started a flashback to some earlier time when the six of us were sitting outside at a cafe. Fluttershy was complaining about how tired she was of being so shy. Rainbow Dash suggested that she proposition the next stallion she sees. After that she would be better. And she wasn't sure about it, but the rest of us agreed that if she could do that and walk away with her head high then she'd be over it for sure. So she did. Her attempt started out very cute, with one little exception - she asked Mr. Cake, with his whole family right there. They were so astonished that they just blinked. But the five of us waved encouragingly, and Mr. and Mrs. Cake hesitantly accepted, and Fluttershy kind of tried to do something with him but she clearly didn't know what she was doing. And none of us could help since we weren't actually any more experienced and for purposes of the dream didn't know how things worked. But who came along but my mother and Sweetie Belle. And my mother gently guided Fluttershy through the process, and Sweetie Belle clarified some points, and also coached Pumpkin and Pound as they experimented on each other."

"So… there are two interesting points, here. One is how amazingly willing to talk about this everypony has been. The second is that it stopped for you."

Rarity's eyes widened. "You still have this? Oh my. I guess you implied it earlier, but it didn't really soak in."

Twilight nodded. "So, can you detail how quickly it stopped, and what triggered it?"

"It stopped abruptly and completely, when Spike and I arranged the date and kissed."

"And, ah, did the nature of the thoughts shift to be about him, or did they simply go away?"

"It stopped. I can still remember what I was thinking, but it basically stopped."

"I hate to have to ask, but was that kiss with tongue?"

"No."

"Thank Celestia. If it just requires kissing somepony, with no tongue, that'd be very, very convenient for us."

"There might be more to it than that."

"Of course. Well. I may have more questions later, but that's enough for now." Twilight got up.

"Darling, are you going to leave without seeing if it works?"

Twilight blinked. "What? Kissing? I… guess that'd be helpful. Just in case it works."

Rarity stood and came halfway, and held out a hoof. Twilight approached her in turn and came muzzle to muzzle. She felt Rarity breathing on her nose. She leaned forward, and their lips touched. Rarity applied a little more pressure, then backed away.

Twilight frowned.

Rarity anxiously asked, "Did it help?"

"No, not really."

"I figured it wouldn't, but no harm done."

Twilight took a deep breath. "None except that now I know I like the physical sensation of kissing."

Rarity giggled. "That shouldn't be a surprise."

"Family and friendly kisses have always been… symbolic. This actually felt good." She lowered her head. "I need a coltfriend."

The Crusaders

Apple Bloom reached Sugarcube corner, where they'd agreed to meet - Scootaloo was there already, Sweetie was not. Perfect. She skidded to a stop. Now what, though? She took the time to register more than Scootaloo's mere presence - still in a funk, probably about Rumble. So this'll be on topic.

"Hey." Scootaloo listlessly said. "You seem… eager."

"Yeah, I… just found something out." She glanced around. "Mrs. Cake, can we talk in the party room for a bit? And if Sweetie shows up, can you send her back? –– Thanks!"

Once they were back, Apple Bloom closed the door. "Princess Twilight found a magical mind control effect that hits certain ponies. And I think it hit…" Better start with the more certain one, and maybe move on to the more important one. "… me."

Scootaloo's eyes widened. "What? What does it do?"

"Makes you think these weird thoughts, and makes it easier to share them. Like… I… uh. Well, do you want to hear this really weird, gross thought that I've had for the past month or so?"

Scootaloo frowned. "Is the effect contagious?"

"No, looks like she figured out where it comes from, and it's one source."

"Then give me your best shot."

"Okay, you asked for it. So, there are a couple versions of this, but it all basically boils down to us over-feeding apples to a stallion and then he pisses out cider. Use his dick like a tap."

Scootaloo blushed and giggled. "That's sick."

"Yeah, and it gets worse. We have a cider day kind of event, only instead of us pressing cider and selling it to ponies who all get in line, we get a bunch of stallions and colts from the town and gorge them all on apples and they line up standing on four bales of hay, two piled in front and two in back with a gap between, and they're all in a line standing next to each other. Then mares walk under like the guys were a roof, with their dicks hanging from the ceiling. The hay bales are set up so there are glasses set on a tray under each one. The mares compare the flavors. Often, umm, drawing directly from the tap."

Scootaloo swallowed. "That's… umm. Seriously?"

"And once I had the idea of doing the process twice. So I over-drink on the 'cider', then I pee into a glass, and Tender Taps comes down from his spot and tries it and says 'nah, it's just regular piss. I'll take a gallon, though.'"

Scootaloo's eyes narrowed. "Are you just saying this to excuse Rumble?"

"It's true. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye. This has actually been bothering me, along with things like it, ever since Flurry Heart asked me if I had a coltfriend."

"I don't remember her asking that."

"It was when we were at the fire in the snow, the three of us and Flurry and Rumble and Button Mash, and you headed off to the fillies' room and Button went to the colts' room, and you took a long time, and Flurry asked me then. But yeah, Rumble also heard."

They stopped as they heard hooves in the hall. Clop clop clop… the door opened, Sweetie walked in, and closed it behind her. "Why're you're back here?"

Scootaloo held up a hoof, then asked Apple Bloom, "If I understand you right, it ought to have hit Sweetie too."

Apple Bloom nodded.

Scootaloo gathered her thoughts and said, "All right. So, we were at the fire with Button Mash and Rumble and Flurry Heart…"

Sweetie ran up and hugged Scootaloo. "Sweet Celestia, it wasn't just me! I've been so fucking confused!"

Scootaloo blinked. "Ummm. Well, actually, it didn't hit me, but it hit Apple Bloom."

Sweetie backed up and looked Scootaloo in the eyes. "Doesn't matter. It's real, it wasn't just me. Thank you."

"Umm. I'm kind of afraid to ask, but what happened to you?"

"I… well, really, I just keep imagining having a ninesome with the three of us and the elements. Which has been really weird since I'm straight, and even though in real life I figure even odds the princess could give some of us dicks, she never does. Also, it's usually set before she was a princess, and we don't have our cutie marks."

Scootaloo frowned. "Okay. You're not asking to do that, right?"

"Of course not!"

"So you're still better than Rumble."

Apple Bloom cut in, "What did he ask you to do, anyway? You never said. Something over-the-top perverted, though."

"He wanted to hide in a cloud and I'd give him a wingjob and we'd aim at ponies." She gagged.

Sweetie frowned. "He just up and asked you for a wingjob, and on top of that it was one that crazy and wrong? Wow, there really is no defense for that."

Scootaloo blushed. "It didn't happen quite like that. Umm."

Applebloom and Sweetie Belle looked on. Apple Bloom hesitantly suggested, "Did he suggest that while you were giving him a wingjob?"

Scootaloo nodded.

Sweetie gasped. "You never told us!"

"I would have told you all about it but I'd instantly dumped him! So that kind of seemed more important, and yeah, I was embarrassed to have screwed up so badly."

"But if it's a magical mind effect…"

"Then he can get it fixed and then we can date again. I suppose we need to let him know about it, and I can let him know that once he's better we can get together again, maybe."

Apple Bloom nodded. "Seems like a good plan. So, uh, Sweetie, has this impacted your time with Button?"

Sweetie swallowed. "Probably indirectly. He was barely in my fantasies, except that once we did the orgy at his place and he was playing games and kind of ignored everything going on around him. His mom gave us all celery and carrot sticks and drinks, and didn't seem to care what we were all doing."

Apple Bloom mused, "I wonder if that's a comment on how you're doing."

"Pretty sure it isn't. He always pauses when I want to talk, and doesn't seem to mind. He even pauses to start talking, sometimes."

Scootaloo giggled. "Now that's true love."

Sweetie giggled back. "Though, I've sat behind him while he's playing and touched myself a little. Nowhere close to finishing. And I don't think I would have done that without all this."

Apple Bloom more soberly said, "Can we bring what we know to Twilight? She's trying to figure out the extent and effects."

Scootaloo lowered her head. "I think we need to get Rumble, too."

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle concurred more eagerly, and they set out for his house. Apple Bloom took the lead and knocked. Thunderlane opened the door. "Sorry, Rumble can't play. He's grounded."

Apple Bloom swallowed and took the lead. "Ah. Umm. I don't suppose… shoot. We didn't want to play, we wanted to talk. And maybe take him to Princess Twilight for some magical healing."

Thunderlane stared for a few moments. "Healing?"

"Well, she doesn't have a cure yet, but she's gathering information and she may need to hear what he has to say."

"Why did she send you?"

"She doesn't know that he's affected yet, but we think he is. We were going to bring him."

Thunderlane shut the door; they could hear him shout for Rumble, and a muffled conversation. Momentarily, the door reopened and Rumble came out, his forehooves soaked and somewhat soapy. He didn't quite meet Scootaloo's gaze; though she was more perplexed than upset now, her features did not make this distinction clear. Thunderlane closed and locked the door behind them. The Crusaders shared a confused look at the unexpected level of security. He turned to them and said, somewhat unnecessarily at this point, "All right, we'll go to Princess Twilight."

The five of them walked unenthusiastically to the crystal tree. Just as they came to the door, Twilight came up behind them. "Hello! Are you looking for me?"

Thunderlane said, "These three said Rumble is afflicted with some sort of disease or something and you're investigating it."

Twilight's eyes widened. "Yes. Yes, I am investigating a magical affliction that could very well have affected him. May I interview him privately?"

Thunderlane relaxed, the story verified, and nodded. "Will it be more than a few minutes?" Twilight shrugged, so he continued, "Then send him directly home. If he hasn't finished cleaning by dinner… well, you had better have kept him here until 5 at least." To Rumble - "Got it?"

Rumble nodded. Thunderlane backed away and then took off.

Twilight took a deep breath and guided them in to a smallish side room. "So! Rumble… hmm. Well, I can understand how you might be a bit uncomfortable sharing what I'm about to ask with me."

Apple Bloom laughed out loud. "Yeeeah."

Twilight continued, "Would you prefer to have the girls here, or we talk alone?"

Rumble numbly nodded, then clarified, "Stay?"

Sweetie snickered. "You may end up regretting that."

Twilight sat tall. "Have you, in the past few months, experienced any unusual, unexpected, strange, intrusive, persistent thoughts about…"

"Yes! I can't take it any more!

"Oh. What are they?"

"I want to, umm. Well, I don't want to want it, but I want to anyway…" He glanced at the girls.

Apple Bloom laughed. "Mine is drinking piss and liking it."

Sweetie added, "So the bar for us to consider you depraved is pretty high."

Rumble swallowed. "Spread my sperm on everything. Everypony. Sometimes I imagine that I come like the Smooze on a rampage, engulfing the town. Sometimes I imagine I paint with it. Sometimes it's a flavor. Usually becomes very popular, ponies flocking from all over Equestria to experience it."

Twilight nodded. "Ah. That fits."

Apple Bloom added, "And it explains why you smell like semen."

Everypony stared at her. Scootaloo hesitantly asked, "Why do you know what semen smells like?"

"I live with Sugar Belle and Big Mac. I'm surprised I'm not an aunt to two already, and it's only been seven months. I begin to doubt her fertility. I don't think I've seen her tail clean since they got married. I've slipped on it in the hall."

Twilight coughed. "All right, everypony, while it's wonderful to have way too much information about the habits of a married couple, maybe we could steer things back on track. When did this start, Rumble?"

"Right after Princess Flurry Heart asked Apple Bloom if she had a boyfriend."

"How soon after?"

"Like, five minutes? As soon as I let my mind wander."

"I see."

"Is there something you can do?"

"Have you kissed anypony since then?"

Rumble nodded.

"Romantically?"

Rumble nodded.

Twilight's lips pursed and she growled lightly. After a moment, she realized what she looked like and said, "Sorry, just, there went my best lead on solving this. Or maybe it's a big clue. How old was the one you kissed romantically?" Rumble looked to Scootaloo. "Okay, it was Scootaloo?" They nodded. "So, basically the same age." They nodded.

Twilight took a deep breath. "Try me. No romance, just let's kiss and see if that takes care of it. If you're okay with the experiment."

Rumble swallowed. He looked to Scootaloo, who chuckled. She raised her chin, gesturing him forward. "If this cures you, we're back on."

Rumble nodded, newly fortified, and approached Twilight. She paused. "I can't believe the first time I kiss a colt, it'll… literally be a colt. Oh well. For science."

The crusaders stared intently as they touched lips. Twilight added a little pressure. Rumble pivoted his head as if to go deeper, but Twilight pulled away. "No need for tongue, kid. I've established that much."

He coughed and chuckled. "Okay." They resumed.

After five seconds, Sweetie cut in, "Well?"

Twilight considered. "I'm pretty sure it's weakened?"

Rumble's eyes widened. "It got you too?"

Twilight nodded. "Again. Three times ought to be enough, reportedly. Perhaps less."

Their second kiss was longer, not interrupted by an unwanted move; after a full twenty seconds, Rumble broke it off. He sighed. "I'm free."

A sigh of relief broke out around the room. Scootaloo hugged him. "Great!"

Twilight frowned lightly. "I feel… almost free. Can we have one more? Er… when you two are done…"

Sweetie had approached. "Can I?"

"Uh. Okay."

So Twilight and Sweetie Belle kissed for a good ten seconds, and Sweetie's eyes widened. "It worked."

Apple Bloom snickered. "So now that you've kissed her, you don't want to. Maybe you should have started at the other end." Sweetie gave her a straight kick to the shoulder with her rear leg. "Ow."

Canterlot

Celestia raised an eyebrow. "I didn't expect to see you back so soon, Twilight. It hasn't been a week."

Twilight nodded. "I have made a discovery that may be useful to you right away, so I came right over as soon as I'd…" I wonder which of the crusaders is going to kiss each of my friends. "… set some things in motion back in Ponyville."

Celestia lifted her teacup and raised an eyebrow. "Indeed?"

"But perhaps not. Have you spoken with Flurry Heart in the past few months?"

Celestia nodded. "Several times. She asked some peculiar questions."

Twilight gulped. "Really?"

"Yes. It has been some time since a pony was brazen enough to ask just how many ponies I've loved romantically."

Twilight chuckled in a strained fashion. "I see. And did that have any aftereffects?"

Celestia lowered her cup, thought, and then took another sip. "Yes, one could say so."

"Do you need any advice on getting rid of them?"

"They only lasted a few hours."

Twilight blinked rapidly. "How… what did you do to get rid of them?"

Celestia turned her head and looked at Twilight with one eye. "What would you recommend me to do?"

"Kiss somepony for more than a few seconds. Other ponies need to choose someone not in their age group. For you, it only excludes Luna."

Celestia smirked and glanced aside, chuckling. "Ah."

"So, what did you do?"

"More than necessary, apparently."

Twilight gulped. "I see. This raises my other question, I guess. Do you have any advice on my getting a boyfriend? It's not so urgent as it was when I was affected, but it seems like something I'd like to do in the medium term anyway."

Celestia slowly built up a low pleased laugh. "I am perhaps the worst mare to ask about this…"

Luna's voice suddenly cut in from behind Twilight, "I can think of quite a few worse… all of them criminals."

Twilight turned. "Okay, so would you provide any better advice?"

"If you want a lover to actually love instead of infrequent, incredibly discreet but intense sexual gratification, then yes, I would."

Twilight looked back to Celestia and gulped.

Celestia laughed harder. "Sister, surely you have not pried closely enough to know what I actually do on my little jaunts. Indeed, you have been returned for only two of them."

Luna shrugged. "Indeed I have not, but I stand by my conclusion."

"Also, to say what you just said was in itself indiscreet."

Luna blushed, nodded, and lowered her head. "It has been hard since Flurry Heart's visit."

Twilight clapped her hooves. "I take it you haven't kissed anypony on the lips since then?"

Luna balked. "What? Is the solution that simple?"

"Sure. Let's kiss, get you straightened out."

Celestia laughed as Luna mildly panicked. "Ah, young Twilight, I am not so sure…"

Twilight shrugged. "Then not me. Any pony would do, except maybe your sister."

Luna grunted, then rushed forward and planted a firm kiss on Twilight's mouth. After five seconds, she sighed. "Ah. That is… surprisingly abrupt relief."

Twilight chuckled. "Yeah. Not quite sure how this one works. Anyway, now we have this all settled."

Luna remarked, low, "Your parents are still affected."

Twilight gasped. "I have to go!"

She ran until she was outside, past the magic-obstructing walls, then teleported to a high point in the air, then to the door of her parents' home. She was about to enter when she noticed that an alarm spell had been erected. How peculiar. This is a safe neighborhood. Twilight examined the mechanism for a few moments and disabled it. She unlocked and opened the door, and stepped through, not noticing a second layer of spell until her horn began to pass through it. She stopped immediately, felt the magic, determined it to be harmless, and proceeded.

The spell effect had clearly been soundproofing, as the moment her ears were through, she heard wordless screaming. Her mother's. In ecstasy.

Twilight blushed, then closed the door and re-enabled the alarm. With her inside. She was just about to set up her own soundproofing bubble and sit down to wait for them to finish, when a few words made it into the mix: "Shining! Yes! This is probably your last chance to get me pregnant!" A few moments later, she added, "Again!" There was a male laugh.

She had frozen upon hearing her brother's name. She was ready for some things, but not for that to actually be happening. She nearly brought herself to action but froze again upon hearing 'pregnant'. By the time 'again' came, her determination to act had built to the point that that added detail wasn't enough to stop her - even if it had the worst implications, those implications didn't come to her in time to interfere. She teleported to the hallway between the rooms. Her parents' room was empty; the noises were coming from Shining's. She opened the door.

Twilight Velvet was lying crosswise on Shining's bed, half on her side, half on her back, splayed wide open with her left hind leg way up in the air. But rather than her son, her husband was mounting her from the ground, mostly upright.

Twilight's panic instantly evaporated. Just roleplay. Phew. She breathed deeply in relief several times, until her mother made eye contact with her. After holding it for three seconds, shuddering, Twilight Velvet said, "Twilight Sparkle is watching us."

Night Light finally spoke up, "Oh, that's perfect. When we're done I can…"

"Be Night Light for a moment, dear."

"Right in the middle of the scene? Skipping the buildup?"

"Look behind you."

Night Light glanced over his shoulder without slowing down. "Oh." He ever so slightly picked up the pace. "Hi. A little warning would be nice before dropping by. Just a minute. Right, dear?"

Twilight Velvet wasn't able to verbally respond as she began to come. She launched herself into a more vertical position and grabbed her husband tight, pulling him more deeply into her. She began screaming in earnest. Still maintaining eye contact with her daughter, aside from brief interruptions.

Twilight Sparkle froze again. Wow. I really do need a boyfriend. Or maybe a husband of thirty years would be better.

Just as her mother's screaming began to subside, her father moaned lightly once, and stiffened. Her mother finally shifted her eye contact to her husband, and they began kissing rapidly. Twilight Velvet relaxed back onto the bed, and Night Light settled on top of her, still gently pumping. Twilight Velvet softly said something Twilight Sparkle couldn't make out, and he stopped.

After five seconds of their lying together, semen slowly began to escape her vagina. It slid down her thigh, came to the lowest point, elongated, fluid collecting in a gigantic drip connected by an increasingly thin strand… Twilight Sparkle's magic caught it before it could fall on the rug. It was purely reflexive. Her thoughts were elsewhere:

They're affected, obviously. Now, am I still affected, or is this just regular sexual excitement? I've heard that others are ashamed or disgusted by the very idea of their parents having sex. I never have, though I rather avoided thinking about sex altogether until Flurry got me started. But when I did think about my parents having sex, even before then, I hoped they were having a good time and didn't find it especially repulsive. And it seems they are having a good enough time, though the particular choice of 'scene', as he called it, does seem to be affected.

Night Light's horn lit up. He pulled out, sat up on the edge of the bed, and found Twilight Sparkle's magic already holding the drips. He looked at her, then at it again. "Do you want that for yourself, or do you just not know about Sea Mane's Removal?"

Twilight Sparkle blinked. "Uuuh, the latter. I guess it's very good at cleaning… that… up?"

He nodded.

Twilight felt like she needed to get things on track. "Soo… did this all start after Flurry Heart asked you a question?"

Night Light seemed genuinely confused. "This all… Twi, we've been having sex since before you were born. That is, after all, why you were born."

"I mean the roleplaying as your children part, obviously!"

"Oh, that? Yeah, I guess that picked up when she asked Velvet what it was like to have a foal."

Twilight Velvet laughed, now lying supine. "Dear, it did more than pick up. It rather took over our fantasies."

He allowed, "Well, yes."

"And from the fact that you asked that specific question, I am guessing it didn't just affect us."

Twilight Sparkle said, "Yes! It wasn't just you. Others were affected." She swallowed, unable to tear her eyes away from her mother's gaping, dripping vulva.

Night Light, noticing, said, "She's beautiful, isn't she?"

"Ummmm. I was… umm."

"Want to eat her?"

Twilight Sparkle glared lightly at him. "I was more thinking along the lines of offering the cure I've discovered."

Twilight Velvet lifted her head. "A cure? I suppose the possibility hadn't crossed my mind. What does it do?"

"It makes the thoughts less intrusive. You only think them as often as you normally would, instead of compulsively all the time. And what's left can be explained by simply remembering, so I think that part of the effect is simply gone."

The parents shared a look. Night Light frowned. "Well. I certainly appreciate certain aspects…"

Twilight Velvet pursed her lips. "Yes, quite. But aside from my increased libido, it has been rather disturbing how non-disturbing it's been. I hope that makes sense."

Twilight Sparkle nodded and said, "I don't know if I just had a sexual awakening, but the libido increase doesn't appear to me to be taken away entirely. If at all. It just blunts the worst effects. It might not be a total cure at all? The cure isn't a fancy bit of spellwork like you might expect from me."

Night Light said, "I can go take it. This is all, perhaps, a bit much. If it's not a spell, what do we need?"

Twilight Sparkle swallowed. "Well, just… kiss me. No tongue. For something between five and forty seconds. It doesn't need to be me, could be anypony else who's not in your age range."

Night Light looked to his wife and then his daughter in near disbelief. "That… works?"

Twilight Sparkle nodded.

Night Light laughed out loud, then patted his leg. "Well, take a seat and get on with it."

She coughed. "I… Dad, I do draw the line there. Please stand up and we can face each other."

He sighed, then pitched forward and went to all four hooves, bringing his face near hers. She hesitated. I would expect this to still be well beyond my comfort zone, considering what they were just doing, but I don't actually feel incapacitatively awkward, so I may as well introspect while executing the treatment. She brought her lips in contact with her father's. They grazed, then he increased the pressure some. They are quite right to be in wonder that this works. It doesn't seem to follow any of the principles for breaking enchantments - quite the opposite. For instance, to break love poison does not require going along with it, but strict denial. Her father backed off on the pressure again, grazing her lips with his, their breath tracing, tickling each other. Perhaps this is a specific triggered response? If so, why would it trigger on this? Perhaps it is a safety valve - if you begin to act on it, then it stops pushing. The kiss reintensified. Twilight glided sideways along her father's face, kissing the side of his mouth, his cheek. It was a sensuous parody of a child's kiss. Alternately, it may be training us to do the thing which actually makes it worse. Perhaps I should have held off a few days before applying it to every single pony I could get to whom I knew was affected. Back nose to nose, Night Light nibbled her lower lip a little.

"Excuse me, that is not… Mo-om!"

Twilight Velvet was gently clopping with her left hoof while watching them, supporting herself with her right. She asked, "Honey, are you feeling any better after that?"

He frowned. "Maybe? It's a little hard to tell. I think so. If by 'better' you mean I'm able to focus more directly on how hot you are as opposed to how hot it would be to bend little Twilight over so she eats you while I knock her up?"

Velvet exhaled sharply. "Yes, that does sound better."

"Mom? Didn't you just come?"

"Yes, and?" She kept going, though not very intensely.

"Well, after I finish, I'm pretty well worn out for a couple days."

"When I was your age, I was that way too."

"Of course, I've only finished seven times, all of them in the past month, so maybe as I get more experience my refractory period will shorten."

Her parents' jaws dropped, and Twilight Velvet stopped rubbing herself. She said, "Oh my. I have been a terrible mother, just assuming you'd discover how to please yourself instead of making sure."

"I think that falls outside the range of your parental duties. Plus, I knew. I did succeed on the second try. Well, third, but the first was interrupted. Anyway, I just never tried until recently."

Twilight Velvet looked to Night Light, then back to Twilight Sparkle. "Huh. Should I have worried that you weren't going to be interested in getting married?"

Twilight Sparkle laughed. "I don't know about then, but not after this. You might be the last two ponies in Equestria I haven't told I need a boyfriend."

Night Light raised a hoof to his chin. "Actually, it might be better not to get a boyfriend if you're in that state. You might go for the most available instead of the best match."

"Maybe so, but I'm in this state!"

"Until you actually have sex, sure."

Twilight Sparkle gulped. "Are you advising me to have casual sex?"

Her mother said, "Well, another option is to leave your mate selection up to your friends so you end up with decent judgement being applied. That's what your father did. I did the other one."

"You… had casual sex before picking out a coltfriend."

Twilight Velvet nodded. "Carefully, but yes. Kept my mind clear, so I was able to find this gem." Her horn lit and a little heart appeared above Night Light's head. He blew her a kiss.

A slight eyebrow-raise. "And keeping your mind clear was exactly what you had in mind at the time, I'm sure."

"Don't be silly! But, it was one of the positive effects. It was the aspect of it that had the biggest impact in the long run, and it was definitely positive." She sighed. "Of course, you're under a magnifying glass now, so I don't suppose that's practical."

Night Light interjected, "Just to be clear, I wasn't a virgin when I met your mother, either."

"What about pregnancy? Disease? Wasn't that… dangerous?"

"Sea Mane's Removal is highly effective for both if used shortly before you start. At least, for most diseases. There are some you still need to look out for, but you can look out for them since they're symptomatic if they're contagious. I'm surprised you don't know that already. It was in the curriculum at the school for gifted unicorns, and I understand in the public schools as well. It's not a hard spell. Mostly powered by the magic inherent in the semen. Very clever design."

Twilight Sparkle's ears flopped back. "I… may have skipped that class by arranging a one-on-one session with Celestia at the same time, every single time that topic came up."

Twilight Velvet went on, "But for you, I think a more advanced technique might be good. Petrify your eggs. Save them for later. You may live a long time, and may want to have foals in two hundred years, or a thousand. And in the mean time, you won't get pregnant by accident."

Twilight Sparkle blinked. "That's actually a very good idea. Strange to think about such distant times… but before it's too late is the best time. Is there a specific spell for that? It may come up rarely."

Her mother nodded, then shook her head in response to the two questions. "You were petrified twice before you were born, dear - once until Shining, then again after he was conceived."

"Guess that makes four times total, then… anyway." She looked at her mother, with her oozing cunt, oozing her father's semen, her father's semen oozing from her mother's cunt. "Anyway." Her father standing next to her, surely, visibly, obviously still virile, strong, probably still willing, and definitely discreet. "Annnnnnyway." And her mother, still bearing fresh eggs ready to un-petrify. And she could teleport one of them into herself, her father could get her pregnant with her own full sister, not even a half sister, and she could pass it off as being surrogacy and nopony would suspect, and it would hold up under genetic testing. And all that time she'd be pulling one over on everypony, showing off how she'd nailed her father and they wouldn't be able to recognize it. That was definitely possible. Absolutely possible. But really stupid. I think I need to stop feeding these thoughts.

Deep breath. "Anyway, we need to do something constructive about this. I get the feeling that kissing may not be the cure I thought it was, considering I still kind of want to bonk you, dad." He chuckled nervously. "So, first thing we need to do is to preserve what's left of our control group. Which, as far as I can tell, consists of mom and Tempest Shadow." She looked to her mother. "Mom, don't kiss anypony but Dad. Dad, don't sex up anypony but Mom." Facetiously, she added, "I know, these are supremely onerous burdens, but we all have to make sacrifices."

Serious again, she said, "But I also need to figure out what the effect is, where it's from. I've done all sorts of magical scans, but I don't know what to look for. There isn't any dark magic acting on me. If only I knew if Flurry was really Sk…"

Her eyes had drifted off of her mother, to where she was still holding the glob of her father's semen. So very… ingestible. And she remembered something that looked like that, that she had in fact ingested. "Of course! The alicorn memory potion! If she has more, I can use it, aiming at Skyla, that could help! At least, rule some things out, but maybe actually get a handle on it!" She took a deep breath, banished the semen blob to the toilet, and said, "Okay, love you, I'm off to see if I can figure out what this is all about."

Apple Time

Star Swirl walked from the train station towards Twilight's castle. He was somewhat surprised when Twilight landed alongside him; he nodded to her. "Princess Twilight. It is nice to see you well."

"And nice to see you as well. What brings you here?"

"Starlight Glimmer had a proposal for me to look over."

"A… proposal."

"An intriguing time travel safety scheme that does not necessarily render it entirely useless. It appears valid."

Twilight blinked. "Really? I must confess, that was not the response we were expecting."

He nodded curtly. "Quite safe. The only question is whether it is actually useful. As you know, the method does leave open the possibility that it doesn't do anything. That raises the question of whether it ever does anything at all."

She nodded. "Yes, there is that."

"So, we will do the check right away. Would you like to be there?"

"I would love to, but I have some extremely urgent business to take care of before I can attend to that. I'll be by the castle later. Love to talk with you then!" She turned to fly off to Zecora's hut, but stopped and turned back to him. "One last thing… have you noticed anything odd lately?"

He slowed down, and looked aside at some passing ponies. Carefully, he said, "There was one odd thing, so odd I was going to mention it to you during my visit anyway. I was thinking about some work I did last year, and thought I ought to have published it. So I fetched it, and I could not find the completed version at all. I could have sworn I had finished it up. I spent a day looking for it. But in the end I found that there was no room in my journal, no days when I might have done that. So I gave up, wrote it down again, didn't even really need to clean it up, and published it. I have no idea where I got the time to finish it before, and then on top of that to lose it. I begin to suspect that I imagined finishing it. But when I wrote it down, I wrote down with substantial new progress. Imagining doing work does not usually solve problems."

"I suppose it could have come to you in a dream, and you dreamed you had already written it up?"

He sighed. "Perhaps. It would be not be the first time I derived a spell matrix in my head, but it would be the first time I derived a spell matrix in my sleep. Sleep tends to produce concepts, not numbers. I had been thinking about it lately, but was just going over the solution I already had. That's how I could simply write it down, you see."

Twilight said, "That is odd. Nothing else? Okay, thank you." She flew off; he noticed with a slight eyebrow raise that while recovering her legs from the takeoff spring, she simultaneously flicked her tail and had her legs spread wide, effectively presenting to him. Perhaps she could use a refresher on take-offs, if she's doing that. Ah well.

Twilight didn't look behind her as she flew off. Too bad he doesn't seem to be affected. Our kids would have been epic, and I don't think I could land him any other way.

Starlight finished bundling the scrolls up just as Starswirl arrived in the library. He greeted her somewhat stiffly. "Starlight. Shall we get started?"

"Absolutely!"

They conferred over the details of the method on their way to the Apple farm. Upon arrival, Starlight took the lead and knocked. Momentarily, Applejack opened it and asked, "Hey, Starlight… and Starswirl?! is there something wrong with the forest?"

Starlight shook her head. "Nothing so drastic. I'd like to talk to the whole family."

Applejack blinked. "Sure. Come in!"

The pair knocked the mud off their hooves and trotted in. Starlight greeted, "Hello Applebloom, Granny Smith, Big Mac, Sugar Belle." She gestured back to Starswirl, "We would like to see if we can save your parents. It will make an excellent case for the feasibility of helpful time manipulation."

Applejack was about to object, but Big Mac said, "Ah was wondering when you'd get around to asking."

Starswirl gasped and reared up, stuffed his hooves over his ears, ran back out of the house on his hind two legs, and began casting.

As the Apples watched him go, Starlight explained, "The particular way we're doing this requires him not to get any information about whether the time loop occurred until we've decided it worked out fine. That came a little close to confirming that it did, but it wasn't entirely clear."

Applejack held up a hoof. "Yeah, what did that mean, Big Mac?"

Big Macintosh gestured out the door to where Starswirl had gone. "Is it okay to say?"

Starlight thought. "Best to give him a minute to get it set up. We really didn't expect that you'd already know."

Applejack grew insistent. "Big Mac, what are you talking about?"

Granny Smith, apparently not having heard Starlight's admonition, said, "Starlight here delivered all three of you… one way or another."

Applejack thundered, "What?"

Big Mac clarified, "She helped momma deliver the two of us, and while you were in Manehattan, Starlight here showed up carrying Apple Bloom as a baby and saying how there was a time travel accident, and ma and pa were in the future but you belonged in that time."

Applejack turned to look at Starlight, then rounded back on him. "You said that some folks found mama mauled near the woods, and dragged her into a hospital, where they tried to save her and eventually she died and they managed to save Apple Bloom just in time and then some government unicorn finally got around to tracking down her family and it was us."

"Eeenope. You guessed that must've been it and ah didn't say no."

"Then why in tarnation did you keep acting like they were dead, if you were expecting her to come and save them?"

Applebloom cut in to suggest, "They were gone for a long time, and they missed a lot of our lives, and we had to grow up without them. It's sad. Hay, I never met them!"

"Eeeyup. Never said they were dead. Still sad. Never said anything 'cause she asked us not to."

Starlight facehoofed. "What? Why? I'm tempted to just tell him to ditch this timeline and try again, this is already sounding so stupid."

"But we've known for decades."

"And if… uuugh. I think you may be right, we may be stuck with this loop. All right, to help keep our safety margins as wide as possible, don't tell me anything else about what I did in the past."

Apple Bloom squinted. "What? Why would that help?"

"Any acausal information causes a resonance. If everything happens for a good reason, that's fine. But every time I do something just to make sure that it happens the way you saw it happen? That threatens to break the timeline. We have a safety margin of around a thousand nats, which may sound like a lot, but it can run out quick if you begin telling me details of what I was supposed to do. Ugh. We may have already burned through that just with what you've told me." After a few moments, she amended, "Probably less than a quarter, though. On the other hoof, if there turns out to be a good reason for me to go be your obstetrician, that we could have discovered without my doing so, then it becomes an attractor and we get it for virtually free. Can any of you think of one?"

She was met with silence.

Applejack eventually said, "That don't make a lick of sense. You want us not to tell you anything about what you did in the past?" She glared at Big Mac and added, "Not that I actually know anything."

Starlight replied, "Right. It's not due to considerations of free will, but you can imagine it was. Think about how annoying it would be to just have to go do something, to be forced into it."

Apple Bloom objected, "But what if it's helpful and would save trouble?"

"Just don't take choices from me. You can tell me any background facts you know about. Like, if you know your parents were petrified by a cockatrice, feel free to tell me. If you know that I petrified them like a cockatrice, don't tell me."

Applejack growled. "Is there any particular reason you decided to do this today?"

Starlight blinked. "What was special about today?"

"Twilight rampaging around asking these questions, sending Apple Bloom running off, then she comes back looking like she'd just fallen off of Cloudsdale…" She narrowed her eyes, then widened them. "You had no idea, did you."

Starlight shook her head. "No, I didn't. What's up with her?"

Apple Bloom said, "I can hook you up with the cure, if you need it. Probably do."

Applejack looked over to her. "Zecora made one?"

"Twilight figured it out without her."

"Glad to hear that's all over."

Apple Bloom shivered. "Yeah."

Starlight sighed. "All right. So, since it appears that we're going ahead with this, we need to pick a place that I will have been storing your parents in the mean time."

Sugar Belle put in, "What about my Dad? And my original parents, for that matter?"

"I was definitely thinking of saving your Dad. I miss him too. As for your biological parents… I wouldn't know where to look for them. New Leaf never said where he found you. I suppose we could ask him, after. I'll have to work out the math on whether that cuts into our safety margin."

"You could go back to when they were still alive and cast the parent-finding spell again."

"I don't know how to cast that. It returned garbage when I cast it on you."

"I thought that meant they were dead."

"No, if I'd cast it right, it would have just said so. It's a really, really hard spell. Divination is not my forte, and it's a high level one. On the other hoof, maybe it returned garbage because by the time I cast it, I had already taken them into the future, and it didn't know how to report that. Silly spell designers, leaving a gaping hole like that open. Okay, I guess it's worth a shot."

Sugar Belle said, "And if it doesn't work, well, I never knew them, so no great loss." Big Mac put a foreleg around her.

"So, back on track! Where should I have been storing your parents, petrified, all these years? Let's pick a good place, firmly decide I will have put them there, then we can look."

Applejack buried her face in her hooves. "This is making my head hurt."

Big Macintosh said, "There's a mound of rocks out near the Everfree. They could be under it."

Starlight thought for a moment. "That sounds like a good place. All right. We'll go there and open it up and see if they're at the bottom. I am already firmly planning to put them there."

So, all of them but Granny Smith headed out. The pile of rocks shrank rapidly under their careful efforts. Mainly Starlight's efforts at first. Near the end, Starlight said, "Okay, I can't look at what they look like or I'll be forced into it. I'll face away, you get them completely uncovered so it's safe for me to turn them back, and then I'll un-petrify them without looking. It might even be prudent for me to simply run away afterwards until you've explained to them the rules about what they shouldn't tell me. But do feel free to tell me when you find them, or your progress in uncovering them. That's safe enough."

The three siblings nodded. Starlight moved to the edge of her range on the de-petrification spell and waited.

Apple Bloom heaved a hoof-sized stone off the pile and found a stallion's face. "He's here! Wow. My dad!"

Applejack came alongside. "Huh. Looks like he was under some kind of attack. Straining. Uh, Starlight said that much was okay to tell her, right? Not her choice."

"Eenope. She'd have to wait for him to look like that."

Applejack grunted in chagrin, then looked over her shoulder. "Don't think she heard, anyway."

Big Mac and Applejack braced against another boulder and heaved, moving a large stone off the pile.

Apple Bloom peeked down through the new opening around her father's back. Quietly enough Starlight would have a hard time hearing, she said, "It looks wide open down there under this large boulder. You know, we might not need to clear away any more rocks. I can slip down and check if anything is resting on them."

Applejack and Big Mac, breathing heavily, nodded in assent to her plan.

Apple Bloom wriggled into the space hindquarters first, and found there was a stone under her father she could brace herself on. She used it to climb down onto a clay surface. Coming onto all fours, she found that she had enough room to turn around. Her eyes took a minute to adjust to the light, so she closed her eyes and carefully stepped around her father's side, to check for any rocks leaning on him. Where's my mother? She's not on his right, she's not on his left… Her hoof ran across an oddly placed pillar of stone next to his shoulder. She felt it a bit more and realized it was a hoof.

She lowered her head to get out of the direct light from outside, then opened her eyes and looked. As she'd begun to suspect, her mother was under him, hooves up. Apple Bloom's face was about a hoof-width from her mother's vulva. She gulped. Not under attack by timberwolves, apparently. Heh.

She continued her circuit. As she proceeded around to her father's side again, she saw that her mother was deep-throating him, the medial ring visible as a ridge in her under-suction cheeks. She gulped harder. Wow, mom doesn't seem to be even exerting herself.

Applejack called down, "Looking clear?"

Apple Bloom snapped out of it. "I just got my eyes adjusted. Give me a minute."

Apple Bloom began quivering. She turned her head nearly upside-down to see her mother's face more clearly, wanting to see her like this more, never to be seen that way again. Upon righting her head, she saw a bit of strange irregularity on her father's cock. Dirt.

She suddenly realized she had used her father's cock as a ladder. She stood there, paralyzed. That happened. I ought to be feeling disgusted by this. I ought to just call up and ask to be pulled up.

Sugar Belle called down, "Do you need a light?"

That got Apple Bloom moving. "No! Not at all!" She jumped to the opening and stuck her hooves up. "Pull me out. All clear. Just, they're dirty. Starlight, can you clean them off in the process?"

Starlight called back, "The de-petrification spell includes a cleaning step."

"Oh, good. Well, how about we step off the stones and then you can go for it? It… might be prudent to hold them in place until they've been aware for a few seconds. It's a bit tight in there."

Starlight nodded, and her horn glowed.

Visions

Twilight tapped a hoof nervously while waiting for Zecora. "Why do you have a recipe for something that only works on alicorns, anyway?"

Zecora took a moment to dice something before responding. "For it to work for any pony was the aim. To succeed, great power it does require. Alicorns can provide it and channel the same. Others would find their vision a liar."

"So… it's a work in progress and you can't get the power requirements under control, but it's not like you specifically set out to make something just for alicorns."

Zecora nodded. "Quite right."

A few minutes later Twilight heard a distant crash. She checked the window, and upon seeing nothing, warily stepped out to get a better look around. She traced the sound of another smaller crash and found Tempest approaching from an off-path direction. The source of the second crash appeared to have been a filly-sized hornet now lying on the ground. Based on the damage to the tree it's under, it may have been the source of the first crash as well. Tempest had already moved on.

Twilight called out to her, "Hey! Did you cross the whole forest?"

Tempest nodded. "Yeah, when you told me to meet you here, I figured I'd save a few hours and train fare by walking straight from Fillydelphia instead of getting the connection in Canterlot."

Twilight giggled. "How did that work out?"

Tempest gave an eager hoof swing. "Fine! If I took the train, I wouldn't have made it here for another fifteen minutes, and the exercise was nice."

"You seem cheery. So, how were the twins?"

"As you could figure from where I came from, they took your advice on moving to a cheaper area. They also drew up their design pretty well."

"That's not what I meant."

"No sign of any contagious effect."

Twilight nodded. "Good. I'd hoped that was the case; nice to have confirmation, but I haven't been probing for it."

"I probed them pretty deeply on that, among other things."

Twilight swallowed. "How so? Do I have to worry about my reputation?"

Tempest laughed her off. "No, I didn't go as Tempest Shadow. I went as Berrytwist. I twist bears."

"A bold move, making your secret identity your real name. Why, though?"

"I pretended to be from a criminal syndicate, investigating to figure out how much we could shake them down for."

Twilight facehoofed. "Whyyyyy?"

Tempest raised her nose. "They'd open up more about the opportunities, present every method they could use to make money. And I felt like cutting loose a little after all this time."

"I hope you didn't push them into going crooked!"

"Not at all. I went pretty soft-sell. They insisted they were doing this entirely up-and-up, and threatened to drag you in, and they did it without implying any prior relationship. I distracted them from any concerns by buying their prototype."

Twilight's eyes bugged. "You did?"

Tempest's eyes, on the other hoof, narrowed. "The Super-Seedy Spider-Squeezy 6000 is amazing. You never got to use the eighth attachment, did you? Because you were from a palace instead of a criminal syndicate. And now you'll never get the chance. It's all mine."

"The Super-Seedy… who came up with that name?"

"I did."

"How did you even know to come up with it?"

"I read your book."

Twilight gasped in delight. "I didn't realize you were studying friendship!"

"At the time, it was 'know your enemy'." Twilight blinked. Tempest grinned, then suddenly changed topic. "So, how were all the ponies here?"

"Oh, right! I've made a number of interesting discoveries. My friends are mostly affected, but I found a way to greatly reduce the effect. I'd like to have you not do that, if you don't mind, because it may be short-term relief on the intrusive thoughts themselves, but may make things worse in overall horniness after not very long." Tempest nodded in acknowledgement, and Twilight continued, "So, please don't kiss anypony substantially older or younger than yourself."

Tempest blinked. "What?"

"I know, that's what I thought too. It seems to shut the intrusive thoughts off like shutting a tap. And it seems to be a medium-term solution, at least if you keep doing it often, based on a one-pony sample."

Tempest swallowed. "But you want me not to, just to see what happens if we don't?"

"Basically, yes. I am concerned that it may also cause problems…" Twilight gasped in delayed realization. "You used the eighth attachment right in front of them, didn't you?" Tempest grinned, but did not reply.

To get out of that awkwardness, Twilight decided to check in on Zecora. Just before following her in, Tempest said something brief that Twilight couldn't understand, but she could tell that it rhymed.

Zecora almost dropped her spoon and began replying rapidly, until she realized Tempest couldn't follow her. She sighed but smiled, and said, "I recognize that look - did you get that from a phrase book?"

Tempest shrugged. "Something like that."

Twilight watched her stirring for a moment, then asked, "How is it coming? Is there anything I can do? I don't mean to rush you, but I thought you had said it would be done by now."

Zecora shook her head. "I had a prepared ingredient, but it bore a nasty scent. In a moment it will all be ready; thank you for holding steady."

Twilight sighed. "Thank you so much."

Tempest asked, "What's the potion for, anyway?"

"Lets an alicorn look into alicorn history. This time I'll be aiming at Skyla, to see if we have a hint of what is going on."

"What are the limits on that? Can some future alicorn peek back and catch you doing something embarrassing?"

"Based on what I saw, only if it's critical to my life story and/or relevant to their problem. I should be safe. Well, maybe if they were to brew up a huge amount of it then it might begin showing progressively less important parts."

Zecora calmed her, "Do not fear, memory-giver. Taking too much would be bad for her liver."

Twilight frowned at her. "And you didn't tell me this before I drank it the first time?"

"This dose is not close." And with that, she proffered the same ornate Erlenmare flask full of the same purple goop as last time.

Twilight nodded. "All right." She charged up her horn and drew out alicorn magic. This time it was much less strain, and she could keep her eyes open. So she saw in amusement that in the presence of the potion, the alicorn magic blob she was extruding appeared like Sombra's dark magic. She didn't have long to marvel at this, for the potion went from magenta to white, and the discoloration of the magic ceased.

"All right. Show time." She took a sip, and after a second, the vision began.

Twilight gasped. A pink alicorn with yellow and lavender hair lay stretched out on a table, with dark crystals embedded in her horn. She bore a massive chest wound, and she wasn't breathing. A soldier in Sombra's mask stood by with a cluster of hourglasses; most were done, one was nearly done, and the last was almost halfway done.

Twilight came close and looked at the wound closely. Blood wasn't even flowing, though it was still wet. Ten seconds into the vision, with a flash of light, the alicorn's wound closed. There was a clang, and she looked to its source - the soldier had tipped the halfway hourglass on its side, and was flipping one of the finished hourglasses to start it. Then he sounded a gong.

Momentarily, Sombra swirled into the room. "Excellent. Excellent. That was quick." He examined the halfway hourglass. "Yes, yes." He turned it on its end to reset it.

He approached the alicorn and gloated. "Dear Skyla, you have been so much help to me."

She gasped out, "How did I fail? Why did they betray me?"

Twilight activated her voice recorder spell, in case it would work.

He considered. "You keep asking that… and now, at the end, I might finally answer. On the one hoof, we will be facing off again some time in the future, I'm sure. So maybe I shouldn't explain. But on the other hoof, the reason just shows how hopeless your situation is. Or I can have it both ways. Yes… Order is good, your miserable 'highness'. The crystal empire was an outpost of order, a bastion against Discord, and I have raised it to be the epitome of order. Crystalline perfection. The crystal empire is honest and, dare I joke, transparent. The crystal empire holds firm in its loyalties, and gives all to the collective. Not only would it never go along with your methods, it rejects your very meaning. You do not belong here, princess. You cannot fight me."

Skyla rasped, "They are also ponies of joy and kindness. You do not belong here either."

Sombra grinned. "Yet I am the king, and you are about to undergo the final test of your immortality. When I annihilate your body, do you come back in one thousand years, or somewhat longer? And how much will you remember? And from what material will your body be drawn?"

Skyla gritted her teeth. "I am only sorry to be missing your defeat. Do it."

Sombra nodded. "You are a worthy opponent in bravery, if not character or ability."

The vision drew to a close.

Twilight opened her eyes, and played back the voice recording: silence, then, Tempest asking, "How long does this take?"

She cancelled playback. "Paper! I need paper!"

Zecora gestured to her desk, and Twilight began writing even before she made it there:

CE epitome of order + 5 el. Skyla not H,L,G. "Rejects not only your methods, but your very meaning. You do not belong here, princess. You cannot fight me."

Skyla - "They are also Joy and K. You do not belong here either."

Earlier "How did I fail? Why did they betray me?"

He debated giving her hints, predicting she would be back and able to resist, but goes for demoralizing instead. See above.

She recovered from gaping chest wound. He proposed to destroy her body and see how long it'd take to come back. 1000y or more? Also, how rebuild, how much memory.

"Worthy opponent in ~~character, if not~~ bravery, if not character or ability."

She looked up. "Okay. So, her tactics involved dishonesty, disloyalty, and lack of generosity, and disorder."

Tempest observed, "A standard insurgency strategy would fit that."

Twilight frowned. "But loyalty wouldn't necessarily mean following the crown. It should be able to latch on to the loyalty to her friends and her cause."

"Sombra might not have seen it that way."

"I'm going to presume he was right since he beat her and seemed to know why."

"The last few times you beat him, he didn't know why."

"Yes, because we won, but when he won, maybe he knew what was going on. But you have a point, he might be working with a bad model that happened to be close enough that time."

Zecora suggested, "Or her plan betrayed her side, and they got off that ride."

Twilight shrugged. "Last time, I didn't get it in one dose either." She took another sip.

She found herself hovering above an orgy of crystal ponies. The centerpiece was four crystal ponies tied down, their eyes glowing with Sombra's mind control. Each was surrounded closely by a group of free crystal ponies, who were lavishing sexual attention on them. Twilight estimated the overall crowd as around fifty.

She focused in on the nearest mind-controlled stallion. A mare was riding his cock, another was straddling his chest presenting towards his face; the mares were kissing, and the first was spreading the ass of the second. A stallion stood below, licking the mind-controlled stallion's balls and shaft. Another stallion was sucking on one of his hooves.

Twilight set that aside and looked around for Skyla, wondering how this could be part of a memory if she wasn't there. After a few moments, she saw the alicorn off on the side, talking quietly with a pale yellow mare with pale blue hair, hardly older than the crusaders. Skyla isn't much older than that herself.

Momentarily, they leaned closer and kissed deeply. Then Skyla flew up, and declared, "She is ready! Specula, would you come forward and break this bond?" The orgy ground to a halt, and everypony watched.

The yellow mare took a deep breath and started forward toward the second mind-controlled stallion. He was a dimmer yellow, with green hair, and his eyes glowed fiercely with Sombra's control. "Dad? Do you hear me? It's me, Specula. You know that rule? About kids and their parents? The one which says we can't have sex? I'd like to break that rule. With you. Now I've said it. And no one is stopping me."

The light in his eyes brightened, and he writhed. The ponies around him stepped aside. The ponies around the other three resumed their actions, slowly; others came close beside them and whispered in their ears.

Specula continued closer to her father and repeated what she had said, word for word, then added, "And you've always wanted to, haven't you? This rule is stupid, useless. It doesn't belong. These laws are handed down from on high…" She crawled up over his barrel. "… to keep us from happiness, by a pony who should never have been in charge."

She leaned close to her father and ground against him, his penis trapped between his body and hers.

She looked back. "Mom, could you give me a hoof?" Then, to her father, "Yes, dad, mom is going to help you fuck me. Nopony agrees with this rule. The rules are bad. And you've always wanted to break it, haven't you? Haven't you? You've even broken the rule already. Remember the parade when the king brought Skyla into the city, and I got on your shoulders, and you held me there so tight I was grinding against you. You knew what you were doing. When they passed, I came."

A mare, presumably her mother, had been langourously approaching. She finally came close to his head. She licked his ear and said, "It's me, I'm here, and I'm going to make sure you come inside our daughter. Like you should. Nothing wrong with that at all, what a stupid rule. One you've already broken. You're ruined to him. Disobedient."

Specula turned to the crowd. "Don't you all agree?" Once the general acclaim had quietened, she said, "Yeah, Dad, look, you can see Crystal Petal spreading her petals for her son-in-law to get in. Oh, there they go."

Twilight glanced to the side, where a stallion around the age and size of Big Macintosh was beginning to enter an older mare.

Her attention returned to the daughter working on her father. "Oh, a married mare, fucking a married stallion while their spouses watch and cheer them on. Look how they're not afraid. Not being punished. Not afraid. No need to fear, they're just doing it and it's fine. Breaking that rule so hard. Just like we're going to. No half measures here. Screw that rule. And screw me, Dad. Mom and I are going to get you lined up, but it's up to you to start."

While Specula's mother took her time meandering around down to their nethers, Twilight looked back to Skyla, didn't find her, then looked up. She was hovering over the proceedings, hind legs splayed out, rubbing herself vigorously.

Twilight's head jerked back to see Specula's mother lining her father's penis up with her soaked entrance.

Specula leaned in and kissed him. With a flash of light, his eyes lost their glow and he rammed into her. This started a chain reaction, and the other three were released as well. One of the tied-up mares began peeing into the mouth of a stallion at her feet, while the other stallion and mare who were already having sex changed from passive to active participants.

Skyla settled down to the ground and kissed Specula long and hard and deep. She didn't even look as a stallion came up behind and mounted her back, penis ready; she moved her tail aside, and he entered her.

The vision came to a close.

Twilight took a deep breath. "Well. Now we know one way of freeing a pony from Sombra." She frowned. "It could probably use some optimization. Or perhaps being thrown out and burned with fire. One or the other."

Tempest gestured to her head and asked, "Was it this? A weapon against him, that went off in the wrong place? Or is this something else?"

"Yes, what we're experiencing is probably related to that. But I feel like there's something missing. I'll take the third dose."

She finished the bottle and waited a moment. She found herself above a parade. She was ahead of the procession, watching it approach. Sombra was bringing in a much younger Skyla, grinning, as they were apparently not yet enemies. Twilight wondered for some time what she was supposed to be seeing here. And then she saw it, up ahead. The pale yellow stallion with green mane, and the bright yellow little filly with pale blue mane, Specula. Twilight swooped down and stood as close to them as she could, which ended up being right behind.

And he lifted her up and put her on his neck. But, contrary to what she had said in the previous vision, it was done very innocently. The barest incidental contact between his neck and her inner thighs; she was trying to climb as high as possible. And no reaction from her as the procession passed.

So she was lying. Or… misremembering.

Twilight hardly noticed the vision's end.

Tempest inquired, "Well? That wasn't long."

Twilight looked her in the eye. "We could be misremembering what we did before this happened. Finding excuses and precedents where there were none."

"So, hold ourselves to a higher standard even if we don't feel like it?"

"That would work, but the original effect was directed most strongly against following rules, and fearing social or punitive consequences, and it wasn't made very selectively. It called any rules bad. I think I can see some possible thaumaturgical reasons she had to make the argument worse than it could be... anyway, I'm not sure how best to resist. But with this, I might be able to make a counterspell."

Purity

Author's Note

No clop this time. Setting some things up.

Purity

A strange muffled echoey noise emanated from the hole. Applejack sprung up onto the rocks and said, "Mama? Papa?"

Bright Mac's voice came back, "Jackie? What's going on?"

"You got petrified and buried. We just found you and had a unicorn free you."

Bright Mac, his head still visible, observed, "We weren't under a big pile of rocks to begin with."

"Yeah, that's why we didn't find you right away. Want a hoof up?"

Bright Mac disappeared briefly, and Buttercup poked her head up. "I'll come first." Buttercup clambered out of the chamber, assisted by her children. She got her hind hooves onto the stones, and then cleared the hole.

After blinking away the effects of dark being replaced by facing directly into the setting sun, she got a look at her children. "All right, Biggie, you're obvious. And you're Jackie. Wow, we must have been frozen for a long time. But who are you? One of Fritter's kids?"

Apple Bloom volunteered, "I'm Apple Bloom. Your younger daughter."

Buttercup objected, "I only have two children."

Applejack, meanwhile, finished hauling her father up out of the hole. "Well, as far as we're concerned, you have three. If we're not sure where she came from… She's still mah sister."

Big Mac added, "And mine."

Bright Mac laughed, "All right." He finally got a good look at his son. "Wow! We gave you the right name after all."

"Eeeyup." And with that, Big Macintosh hugged his father warmly.

Buttercup, meanwhile, looked around. "Farm's still in one piece. Is Granny okay?"

Applejack nodded. "Still hanging in there. Grand Pére came back and we got the family all sorted out, but then he passed on a few months back. A shame for you to have missed it."

Buttercup covered her mouth with a hoof. "Really?"

Big Mac nodded. "Eeeyup."

She was thoughtful for a bit; Bright Mac's gaze fell to Sugar Belle, and he broke into a smile. "And this is the unicorn who saved us?"

Sugar Belle stepped forward and bowed lightly. "Actually, I'm not much good with spellwork. I'm Sugar Belle, Big Macintosh's wife."

The smile froze. "Ah. Is that so."

Big Mac vaulted down to her, turned, and put a hoof over her neck. "Eeeyup."

Buttercup seemed to be at a loss for words. She looked past Applejack to her husband, and he back to her. Then he turned back to Sugar Belle. "Do you have any children?"

Buttercup added, "Expecting?"

"Eeenope."

"Not yet."

Bright Mac and Buttercup exhaled. Sugar Belle and Big Macintosh shared an apprehensive glance.

Applejack raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment. "Right, so though the house is pretty full, we aren't overflowing. I can share with Apple Bloom if it comes to it."

There was an awkward silence, which was broken by Twilight Sparkle gliding down. "Apple Bloom! Report, please?" Then, more broadly, "Hello, everypony."

Apple Bloom glanced at her family and carefully worded things, "I took care of Fluttershy, Scootaloo somehow agreed to drag herself through taking care of Rainbow Dash, Sweetie Belle took care of Pinkie. Also, you haven't spoken with…"

Twilight held up a hoof. "Hold on a moment, Apple Bloom. Are you two Bright Mac and Buttercup, nee Pear Butter?"

Her head turn suddenly brought her horn to their attention, and they suddenly realized that she was an alicorn. They bowed as best they could on the awkward footing. Bright Mac said, "Yes, princess… Cadence?"

Twilight smiled. "No, I'm not princess Cadence. I'm princess Twilight Sparkle."

Buttercup gasped. "What happened to princess Cadence, then?"

"Come again?"

Buttercup blinked in doubt. Bright Mac explained, "Your Highness, we thought there could only ever be just one other alicorn besides Celestia at any time, and sometimes none. That's been the pattern for hundreds of years. But if there are two others, that's not bad, just unexpected."

Twilight grinned. "Actually, there are four others besides Celestia."

Quietly, Bright Mac hissed at Applejack, "Bow, fer cryin out loud!"

Applejack laughed. "I don't bow to Twi." She jumped down and hugged her instead. "And you don't need to either. We've known her since before she was a princess, and outside of court she don't want anypony bowing to her either."

"Yeah, I tolerate it in court. Here, stand up already!" Buttercup and Bright Mac straightened. Then, to the three siblings, "So, you went ahead with Starlight Glimmer's plan!"

Buttercup's confusion did not have much room to grow, so she simply asked, "What does Starlight Glimmer have to do with this?"

Twilight suggested, "How about we not drop any more bombshells on you until you've had your Pinkie Party? Where should that be?"

Applejack said, "Barn."

Apple Bloom jumped down off the rock pile and offered, "Castle. Show them the new stuff."

Big Mac said, "If today isn't a good day for her sense, we need to tell her instead of her popping up on her own. If it is, she could be at the barn already. So we can drop by the farmhouse and barn on the way to the castle. It's almost on the way, so no time lost. Plus, Granny Smith is there."

Everypony but the parents looked at him oddly for a moment, but his plan made sense, so they headed back to the farm.

As they walked, Sugar Belle continued to sense a cold shoulder from her parents in law, so she took her concerns head on. "Do you disapprove of me?"

Buttercup laughed nervously, eyeing Twilight. "You, personally? No, not at all."

Bright Mac, though, looked to Twilight directly. "Princess?"

She turned to him. "Yes?"

"I, ah… How much do you know about earth pony magic? Were you an earth pony before you ascended?"

"No, unicorn, and I freely admit that I haven't explored my earth aspect enough. I've just been so busy. But I do have extensive experience with earth pony magic being done by others. Why do you ask?"

"Well…" He took some time to gather his thoughts.

Apple Bloom, having run ahead, ran back. "Starlight's there. We gotta lay down the rules!"

Applejack sighed. "Oh, this nonsense again. All right. Mom, Dad? Starlight Glimmer is the one who saved you. I know, you met her before. Don't tell her anything about the past unless she didn't have anything to do with making it happen. She's a time traveller, and it'll help avoid paradoxes or some gobbledegook like that."

Twilight amended, "Her system avoids any possibility of paradox, but it does become less stable if her actions face an effective paradox avoidance constraint. If it goes unstable, then this becomes a spoiled timeline and never really happened."

Applejack nodded. "Like I said."

"No, this is much better than an actual paradox. A paradox would be able to change the present and possibly wipe out Equestria. This is much smaller. Worst case, it just ends up reverting back to, like, an hour ago and fizzling the loop spell."

Buttercup murmured, "So, what if we didn't really want any of this to happen? Missing my childrens' childhood? Just put it back the way it was yesterday? You say it's not dangerous?"

Twilight pointed out, "Yesterday, we assumed you'd been eaten by timber wolves seventeen years ago. Are you sure you prefer that outcome?"

She blanched. "No. I'll try to avoid breaking the timeline, then."

Twilight nodded. Then, to Bright Mac, she asked, "So, you were saying, about earth magic, as pertains to potential disapproval of Sugar Belle? Is it simply that you've been using primo-stemmaturgy? That is, the magic in maintaining a pure family tree down the first offspring line?"

Buttercup sighed in relief. "Yes. And Big Mac is our first, so it's a bit concerning that Sugar Belle isn't an earth pony."

Big Mac roared, "Hold on an applebucking minute! Are you saying Ah can't marry mah wife? Ye hardly know her! Just one look and it was icicles. And over a bit of tribalist nonsense?"

Pear Butter's ears flattened back. Bright Mac shouted back, "It's not tribalist!"

Applejack rejoined, "You're saying he can't marry a unicorn. Sounds like it."

"No, definitely can. Just the firstborn. Both of you can marry whoever you want! Pegasus, unicorn? Love 'em to death, and any kids you have. They're in the family. And Sugar Belle here is fine too, so long as Big Mac's firstborn is with an earth pony." He suddenly looked aghast. "I mean…"

"You want me to run off and have a kid with some pure earth pony and then we - she has to raise 'em? How is that not tribalist?"

Twilight cut in, "Everything else aside, primo-stemmaturgy isn't tribalist, Big Mac. My family uses it too. Shining Armor and I are exceptional in unicorn magic because of it. And you've met my parents. Do they think pegasi or earth ponies are lesser?"

"I didn't sign up for some breeding program!"

"It's not breeding, it's carrying a flame forward in one descendant. And it's just that if you want to be solely focused on, say, farming or high-power magic, it helps. For most focuses, mixing helps. Just, not farming. And it's not as bad as you think." She took a few moments to recall something, and then a moment of self-doubt because of the implications her vision had had on the reliability of her memories.

Bright Mac took her stop as permission to continue, "I meant to say… we'll love your wife and kids no matter what. Period. End of story. Also, and this is kind of important, there is a big advantage we've had and you have, that if you do the most obvious and natural thing and just start having children, those children will not have."

Big Macintosh stared. "And Applejack?"

"Her kids will probably leave the farm because your kids will be much better at it than they are. And they'll be better at something off in the town than your kids, or something, and that's fine."

Twilight took advantage of the lull in the tension to suggest, "I know of a way that everypony can get what they want, here."

Big Macintosh took a couple deep breaths, glared daggers at his parents before looking back to her, then asked, "What."

Twilight took a deep breath. "Four generations back, one of my ancestors along the primo-stemmaturgical line was an earth pony. To make their firstborn, she donated eggs, and their first children were carried by a unicorn surrogate mother. It was her daughter; she just didn't bear her. It was a risk because the line would have been broken anyway if none of the children had been unicorns, but one was, and it all worked out. They reduced the risk by implanting quintuplets or something like that. One of the unicorn fetuses lined up to suck up the magic, well before the moment of soul blossoming. Then they aborted most of the others, to get it down to a reasonable two. And that's why I have earth ponies as my great great grand mother and a great grand uncle, right along the primo-stemmaturgical line of over a thousand years. One of the few left after all this time."

Buttercup said, "If it was quintuplets, then we'd have a one in thirty-two chance of dropping the line?"

"Not quite that good. The math gets complicated, especially with the false positive and false negative rates on the many tests, and different tradeoffs between accuracy and loss from waiting too long." She furrowed her brow in thought. "Probably one in twenty or so, rough estimate."

Bright Mac swallowed. "Still, one in twenty. I remember all the times I've crit failed."

Buttercup laughed. "Poor Flashburn the barbarian, hopelessly trapped in a spider web due to a succession of ones."

They glanced back to Applejack and Big Macintosh, and their laughter receded. Bright Mac coughed and said, "We'd accept that risk."

Big Macintosh had been watching his parents through this. "You're getting so het up about this. Why is it so important?"

Bright Mac gestured to the farmhouse just ahead, and out across the fields. "It's what this farm is built on. Lose this, and your kids can't keep this place up half as well as you can. Jackie's kids won't carry as much of it either. That's why we haven't grown and grown with more farms - the line goes only to the first born. We and our ancestors built this, not just for you and your children, but their children and their children, and so on. And even with the princess's plan, that's at risk here."

Applejack took a deep breath. "Well. You say half as good. So we have twice as many kids as we would have, and we run our farm like they do in Apploosa. Is there a problem with that? Are Braeburn, Fritter, all those other Apples lesser just 'cause they were kids of second and third kids?"

Bright Mac took a deep breath. "At farming apples? A little. How many does it take to get those fields harvested in Apploosa? Can they do a single buck for a whole tree to go straight into buckets without bruising them?"

Applejack squinted in recollection. "Yeah, Braeburn can do that. Has to set up more carefully 'n I do, and sometimes he takes two bucks, but it's not like he's half the farmer I am."

Apple Bloom pointed out, "Actually, sis… I think I really would rather have just you on the farm than two of Braeburn. Right, Big Mac?"

Big Mac reluctantly nodded.

Bright Mac sighed. "I'm not saying we can't be Apples without this. I'm just saying… just… it was a surprise."

Big Mac shared a look with Applejack, and dubiously said, "I'm glad to hear that was all."

Twilight loudly said, "Oh snap! I just remembered, that spell has to be cast by the surrogate herself!" Applejack sat down and threw her hooves up in the air, willing it to stop. Apple Bloom giggled nervously.

"Meaning unicorn. And that's just what we're trying to avoid." Twilight raised a hoof. "But! I'm part earth pony now. That's enough not to trash the whole line."

Buttercup exclaimed, "You would?" Twilight nodded, and Buttercup continued, "Wow, you must be closer to the family than I thought!"

They came to the porch, where Starlight and Granny Smith were sitting on rocking chairs sipping iced tea. Granny called out, "Good to see you back!"

Bright Mac swallowed harder upon seeing her. She wasn't looking as well as he remembered, and he'd forgotten to adjust his expectations. He carefully approached her, unsure of how firm she was - she had stayed here instead of coming to the rock pile, after all. She got up and hugged him, then Buttercup. "Nice to have you two back. Now don't cause too much trouble, you hear?"

Bright Mac looked to Buttercup, then back to his mother. "Seems as if we already did. We were a bit thrown off by Sugar Belle."

"Wonderful mare, glad to have her in the family. And you should be too. Can't wait for their first."

"So… uh, no problem that she isn't an earth pony?"

"Nope. None at all. Everything's already taken care of."

The desperation in Bright Mac's voice stabbed Big Mac. "How? You didn't even hear our plans!"

"Don' worry bout it none. All goin' be fine, end of story." Then she got a slightly furtive look, which she cast across her grandchildren. "Probably. Depending. Nah, it's good. I was watching out for the farm too, you hear? All. go. ing. to. be. fine. No need to hash it out now. I don't want another word spilled over it for at least a week. Now, if I know Pinkie, there's going to be a party in the castle. Let's head out and not keep her waiting to figure out what she's throwing it for."

There was indeed a party at the castle, a little one just with the elements the Crusaders and Spike and the Cakes as guests. Pinkie was sad that it was getting a bit late for the full-scale event this deserved, but promised a big one the next afternoon. Applejack showed off her throne to her parents, who began to understand why Twilight would volunteer to bear their grandchildren, and everything went swimmingly for everypony but Big Mac and Sugar Belle.

Starlight barely attended, but instead retreated to her room to avoid any possible spoiler resonances. Partway through, she dropped by and came to Sugar Belle. She whispered, "I have train tickets to Our Town. The eleven o'clock. Want to go get your father? Assuming I will have succeeded?"

She jumped up. "Yes, please!"

To Big Mac, Starlight added, "And I imagine you'll want to come, too. I can get a third ticket."

Big Mac tensely looked over to his parents, then nodded. He resolutely approached them. "Hey."

Buttercup looked up, concerned. "Yes, Biggie?"

He cleared his throat. "Sugar Belle also has her dad missing, and Starlight wants to rescue him too. So we'll be heading out. Be back tomorrow evening or so."

"You're going tonight? But of course you are. A chance to have your father back shouldn't wait. Definitely, save him first, we can meet again later. Not like we're going anywhere."

Bright Mac nodded, then gave his son a hug. "Son… I'm sorry about this mess. If Granny Smith says it's going to work out, I guess I was just silly."

Big Mac shook his head. "Not silly. The farm is a big deal. Just…"

Bright Mac nodded. "I know. I've been imagining Buttercup was a pegasus. It'd be hard. Take care, see you tomorrow."

New Leaf

The train came to Our Town's stop (now mercifully actually at the town itself) at 4:30 in the morning. Its being nearly the spring solstice, there was already a trickle of pre-dawn lightening in the east.

Starlight hadn't slept a wink. She groggily asked Big Macintosh, "How in Tartarus did you get here so quickly and often that you managed to actually court Sugar Belle?"

Sugar Belle explained, "Same way Pinkie can get ahead of Rainbow Dash when it'd be funny, but it only works for love." She smiled up at him, and he nodded.

Starlight blinked. "Wow. I guess I wasn't expecting an answer, but that's because I thought it'd be along the lines of your just spending a long time at it." She yawned. "Nothing's open yet. Want to go to your house? Good thing you didn't manage to sell it yet."

Sugar Belle walked forward a ways. "Not exactly a hopping town. At least the population's about to go up by one." She shivered, grinning. "Dad's going to be back. Probably."

"If I was able to save him. Not guaranteed."

Sugar Belle didn't let it dampen her spirits and the three headed to her house. They slept a little, Big Mac and Sugar Belle piling into her little bed, while Starlight took New Leaf's. Funny, I never actually slept here. We were always in the hills or my place.

Once they were up for breakfast, the activity drew visitors, and Starlight repeatedly explained their mission, so when they headed out later, the whole town was in the party. And a party it was, laughing in joy at the discovery that New Leaf was quite possibly alive. Party Favor handed out all sorts of balloons, including one attempting to represent an avalanche missing a pony.

Eventually they came to a rubble pile that was nowhere near the avalanche zone everypony else thought he'd been lost in. Starlight lifted the rubble aside, revealing a petrified unicorn stallion. Sugar Belle gasped in joy. Six seconds later, his mane and tail turned light blue, though his coat hardly shifted in color from the granite it had been.

New Leaf suddenly exclaimed, "Whoa!" Then, "You all have cutie marks, of course!" Then, "Sugar Belle, is that a coltfriend?"

Big Mac replied, "Husband."

New Leaf's eyes widened, then looked accusingly at Starlight. "How long was I hidden? You said… ugh. I know, no spoilers!"

Oh, right. I totally forgot to take precautions. Too tired and excited. Fortunately, it seems I will have. There's enough good reason for that, that I could justify it without knowing it happened, so that probably doesn't do much to our safety margin.

New Leaf spent the trip into town back getting the news - the other residents had a lot to fill him in on. Starlight stood well aside, trying to be patient. Somehow, when they returned to the town, a party was set up even though everypony had been on the road. Starlight wondered whether Party Favor had a party always ready to trigger, or if he'd set it up long-range during the expedition, or if he'd automated its creation. Anyway, the party lasted for hours, and Starlight stood aside and waited, removed from the action except when ponies were thanking her for saving him, which she accepted with grace.

Finally, New Leaf approached her. He looked at her knowingly, which was encouraging. Softly, he said, "So. Now that you aren't in charge and keeping so many secrets, I guess we could get things out in the open?" His eyes widened in sudden realization of worry. "Er. Are you single?"

Starlight nodded. "That's up to you."

He took a moment to parse that. "Okay. I guess that means you aren't, as of right now. How not-single do you want to be?"

"Let's not get engaged right this moment. But I would like to invite you to live with me in the castle."

"You have a castle?"

"I work for a princess."

He chuckled and gestured to the town. "That's a bit of a turnaround."

Starlight glumly nodded. "Yeah, I know."

"Well, I'd love to. Too bad I won't be able to see much of Sugar Belle if I'm off in Canterlot."

"Actually, the castle isn't in Canterlot. Their farm is a ten minute walk from it."

He blinked. "Wow. Yes please, then! How do I sign up?"

"Kiss me."

He hesitated. "In front of everypony… first time." He turned and looked at the room, then back to her, and he kissed her firmly on the lips for six seconds. There were some gasps, then cheers. Sugar Belle was slightly surprised, then thoughtful.

Double Diamond trotted over to them. He asked New Leaf, "How long have you two been a thing?"

New Leaf swallowed. "To avoid possible spoilers, I refer you to my lovely and newly official girlfriend for any answers to that question."

Double Diamond turned to Starlight and asked, "What's the deal with that? How long were you together?"

"About two years, not counting the eight he was stone."

"You waited eight years? For a stallion you thought was dead?"

"I've been busy!"

A whistle blew in the distance, announcing the approach of the train, returning along the track from its terminus at the changeling hive. Big Mac looked to Sugar Belle. "Want to go home or stay a day?"

Sugar Belle looked around, then frowned. "Maybe we should get back. I think things'll mend, and no point in putting it off."

Starlight nodded. "Okay, we'll catch up!"

New Leaf said, "We have a train out here? Wow! So why not head out now? The house isn't furnished anymore except the bed, anyway."

Starlight whispered in his ear, "That's enough for what I have in mind. It may have been four hours since we last boinked for you, but it's been eight years for me."

New Leaf's ears pulled back; he whispered back, "Did you get boring? We can do it on the train."

The first car had contained two changelings, and New Leaf boggled at them for a bit; the second car was where Sugar Belle and Big Mac were; the third was empty, and they took the baggage/mail car. Starlight put a 'all OK, no need to check' spell on the door, while New Leaf shrunk himself down to being a colt. Starlight giggled. "You know, I didn't exactly try to wait for you. Remember Sunburst?"

"You mentioned him to me once, very memorably."

"For some reason, I thought this would be a good idea with him. He ran screaming. Glad to have you back." He chuckled at that, and she shrank herself down as well.

Then she got into character. "Oh, Leaf, isn't it so scary to be running away from home like this? Stowed away on a train in the filth? What if we're found?"

"It certainly would be much easier if one of us was grown up."

"We both can be. I've heard of a way a colt can become a real stallion, and a filly a mare."

New Leaf considered objecting to the very blatant porn plot story, but he had been spoiled lately while she had had a fairly epic drought. If she wanted to get straight down to business, all right.

"But we're brother and sister! We shouldn't!"

"Better you than some hobo on the way to his next farm."

Confused, he asked out of character, "What's a hobo?"

"A migrant worker who hitches rides on trains without getting tickets, like we're pretending to do; they sometimes skirt the law in other ways. I guess the term only really emerged in the last couple years. Which is, incidentally, not even as long it's been for me." She turned around, presenting her sopping vulva to him. Then she cast Sea Mane's Removal, making her immediate intentions clear.

He momentarily debated using his mouth first, but he correctly guessed that was not what she had in mind. He mounted smoothly, recently practiced, their miniaturized parts equally diminished, still fitting well.

Once he was in, he backed off on the spell. He grew past cutie mark age, and his girth increased. Tight, like she liked it. She began moving, herself, pressing back against him. After casting a cleaning spell on his right front hoof, he reached under her to also press against her prepuce. He didn't try to reveal the clitoris itself - she was too sensitive for that to ever be a good idea.

With their size difference, a lot of pumping was not in the works, but subtle movements provided a strong effect. That, and his hoof.

They were proceeding nicely when they heard hoofsteps approaching. Starlight teleported them behind the large mail bag. There was a pile of burlap there, and New Leaf draped a layer over them, hoping they looked like some oddly-shaped package. The burlap was thin enough to see out, though they couldn't see much more than the rear of the car.

The door opened, and soft voices they couldn't distinguish spoke. The hoofsteps approached, until Big Mac and Sugar Belle came into sight. They moved to the back of the car on the other side from Starlight and New Leaf, where a pyramid of crates was stacked. They kissed, and whispered in each others' ears. Sugar Belle nodded, then stood on the lowest crate and spread her legs, presenting herself to Big Mac (and her father and Starlight).

Starlight could feel New Leaf swallow against the back of her neck, and his cock throbbed in her.

Big Mac kissed his way down Sugar Belle's undercarriage, spending ample time on her belly, then around her outer thighs, and lingered on her inner thighs. When she involuntarily kicked, he planted a single sloppy kiss on her labia, then stepped forward to kiss her regular lips. After a deep kiss there, he walked back again, to settle in on fully eating her.

From behind him, Starlight and New Leaf stared, transfixed, at what they could see. New Leaf idly continued working his hoof, but they were otherwise still as could be in the rattling train car.

Sugar Belle arched her back downwards and her legs began twitching as she gasped out a ragged, prolonged orgasm. Big Mac moved up to kiss her on the mouth again, and she put a foreleg over his shoulder. After a minute, she got down from the crate, and they conferred briefly, then left.

Starlight and New Leaf let out a breath. Starlight pulled off the burlap and whispered, "Sweet Celestia, that was close."

New Leaf pointed out, "From the sounds, seems like they took the very back seat. We can't get back out without their realizing we were here. Looks like we're stuck until the next stop. Then we can go around. Unless you can teleport us straight to the second car safely?"

Starlight shook her head. "Yours is a good plan. But in the mean time…"

New Leaf understood and immediately began thrusting, their size difference making it very intense, and the show had kept him completely hard, as long as it was. Starlight braced herself on the floor and reciprocated the force. Still, it was a bit much, so she let her age slip a little older, loosening things up. He took the hint, and shrank down himself, until they were right around normal cutie mark age. To regain some intensity, she pushed a tiny bit smaller again.

Altering their sizes had required some concentration, so it took a few seconds to get back into the swing of things, but they were set up the way they wanted it. Starlight said, "A changeling from the front comes in. Asks if it's common for little kids to do this."

He added, "We say yes, totally ordinary."

"Changeling is unsure, goes and gets Big Mac and Sugar Belle."

"Sugar Belle is utterly appalled… that I never ever did this with her."

"Even though you wanted to."

He paused, and she paused to match. He raggedly said, "Er. Well, I actually kind of did, so that's not…"

"Oh. Umm. Well, you didn't actually, right?"

"Right. I never did."

"So why not go with it? She's appalled you didn't, and wants to make up for lost time."

He didn't resume. Starlight pumped herself on him twice, to get him started up, but he didn't, so she stopped. "What is it?"

He shook his head. "Sorry, got off target there. Can you be an adult? Seeing his generosity inspired me."

Starlight considered objecting that what she'd wanted was still in her, but she'd actually kind of had enough of that for now. She was actually beginning to wear out. So, she released her spell and grew to full size; he stayed little and walked around her, kissing here and there - mouth, cutie mark, and finally between her legs. His cunnilingus was slipping into a hot tub of butterscotch, and turning on the jets. She locked her knees and drooped he head and just let it happen. Waves of urge to twitch reflected back and forth. Waves of unreleased cries echoed inside her, not let out.

Until the train began braking - the vibration pushed her over the edge, and only the squeal of brakes masked her orgasmic scream.

She regained her wits when the car jerked to a halt. Through the side wall, they heard the conductor call out, "Aaapppplooosa!"

Starlight let them separate, folded herself shut, then teleported them out onto the ground behind the train, and then they walked around a bit to stretch their legs and grab lunch, as did the other passengers, except for the changelings, who just sat at the next table over. With some additional passengers also present, they sat together in the second car. Sugar Belle invited her father to sit next to her. He did, and she leaned against him, leaving Starlight and Big Mac next to each other, smiling at the cute family.

Starlight woke to the conductor calling out, "Pooonyville!", coinciding with the jerk of their halting. 4:00 already? Right on time, I guess. She got up, confused as to why she was leaning against Big Mac. She coughed out an excuse me and got up, followed by Big Mac and Sugar Belle. New Leaf's eyes went wide. "Wait, you're getting out here? The castle is in Ponyville?"

"Yup."

He swallowed and followed them up. As he headed out, he told Starlight, "I could use some rest. Can we head straight to the castle?"

Starlight nodded. "Follow me."

The castle door entered right onto the party for Bright Mac and Buttercup, finding it still in full swing. New Leaf shied away. "Loud."

Starlight nodded and led him to her room. "I'll let everypony know you're safe. I'll be along soon."

She headed back down and found Sugar Belle and Big Macintosh being welcomed in. Twilight in a party hat gave her a hug. "How did it go?"

"He was great. How are things here?"

"Good. When's a good time for us to talk?"

"Uh, well, I wanted to help him get settled in. He's a bit overwhelmed, tired, noise, trainsick…"

"What do you mean, settled in?"

"Oh, right. Uh, can he either have a room or is it okay if he just joins me in mine?"

Twilight blinked. "Was he that stallion you mentioned who…"

"Uh, yes."

Twilight facehoofed. "Okay, fair enough. Go to town. He's not too different from you in age, is he?"

Starlight blinked. "What? Not normally? I mean, he was a bit older than me to begin with but now he should be the same or I'm a little older. Why do you ask?"

"I'll explain later. And… it looks like Derpy would like a word with you."

Starlight turned and found the gray mare looking at her pensively. "Starlight?"

"Yes, Derpy?"

"I heard what they said happened. Can you also save my father, Rinky Doo?"

Starlight blinked. "Huh. Wow, I forgot. I guess so? I should be able to - I've succeeded on two out of two so far. But, ah, I heard he wasn't good to…"

"No!" Derpy slammed her hoof down, flared her wings, and shouted. "He shouldn't've done some things, but he didn't kill mother, didn't even neglect her, and the rest wasn't so bad he should've been murdered over it!"

The party ground to a halt.

Derpy continued, saying softly, "Save him, please."

Starlight took a deep breath. "I can't promise it'll work, but I can try."

Twilight added, "And if we save him, he will be safe in Ponyville, that I can promise." She looked over the party to detect anypony who might wish the contrary, but found only surprise.

Derpy rushed forward and gave them a hug with her wings, and began crying into Starlight's shoulder.

Starlight heard hoofbeats coming down the stairs behind her, and New Leaf softly said, "Muffins?"

Derpy jerked her head up in shock. "DAD!?"

Who we want to be

Sparkler appeared with a jangle of teleportation imperfection. As she staggered in disorientation, New Leaf, a.k.a. Rinky Do, regarded her and asked Derpy, "Is this…"

Derpy supplied, "This is your granddaughter." Everypony who already knew caught her slight emphasis on 'grand'.

Rinky grinned. "Teleporting! I never got the hang of that, though at times it would have been useful. My, my. I'm proud of you already! Both of you. How many ponies in Ponyville can do something as grand as that?"

Sparkler commented, "Considering half the pillars are at the party, including Starswirl the Bearded, and I did a terrible job, let's not get boastful."

He blinked. "What?"

"Starswirl the Bearded, Rockhoof, and Mistmane made it to the party. And the elements… even Spike… I'm decidedly third rank in this company."

"Well, teleportation is still something to be proud of."

She shyly looked aside. "I'm working on it."

Dinky managed to wriggle her way through the crowd and snuggled up to her mother. "What's wrong? What were you shouting about?"

Derpy gestured to her father. "This is my father, Rinky Doo. Starlight saved him too, just like the Apples."

"She saved the Apples too?"

"Do you remember what this party is about?"

Dinky blinked. "She saved Buttercup and Bright Mmm… oh, they're Apples." She looked around at the many apple-themed decorations in dawning comprehension.

Derpy turned back to her father, and gestured down to Dinky. "This is my other daughter, Dinky Hooves. And, ah, I go by Derpy Hooves now, mostly."

Rinky asked, "Mostly? Is it okay if I still call you Ditzy Doo?"

Derpy nodded. "And you can still call me Muffins, Dad."

Dinky put in, "No better name than that."

Rinky added, "And ever since we've… been parted, I've gone by New Leaf."

Derpy repeated, "New Leaf. That's a nice name. I think I'll call you that."

New Leaf softly asked, "And, should I expect to run into Dinky's father at some point?"

When Derpy didn't answer immediately, Sparkler supplied, "Deceased."

"Ah. I'm sorry to hear that."

Dinky frowned for a moment, and said, "My father's dead? That's what you were hiding all this time? I thought it would be something bad about him!"

Sparkler, sensing impending catastrophe, and also noting that he hadn't had to ask about her father, redirected onto a safer topic. "So, have you met the Apples?"

"Yes, but not recently. Did they get into trouble like I did and have to be saved?"

"Yeah. Starlight did something with Pinkie Pie and found them all turned to stone."

And with that, Buttercup and Bright Mac approached. They gave New Leaf an inscrutable look. "Hello", Bright Mac said tentatively.

New Leaf raised a hoof. "Nice to meet you again. New Leaf, now."

Buttercup smiled. "So we've heard. And if you raised Sugar Belle like she told us, then you must really have been innocent back then. I'm so sorry you had to go through that."

He blanched slightly. "Innocent would be putting it a little strongly. Dit–Derpy covered the level of my guilt pretty well earlier. I can work the rest out with her, to whatever extent she wishes me to make amends."

He looked aside, in shame, and suddenly caught sight of Sugar Belle standing right behind him. "So, Sugar Belle. I expect you already know your big sister."

Sugar Belle and Derpy shared a look, laughed, and hugged. Derpy said, "Yes, we met when I was carrying mail." A tiny frown crept onto her face. "Just to be clear, she's adopted, right?"

Sugar Belle nodded. "We don't know who my biological parents are. We'll see about saving them too, if they just disappeared."

Then Bright Mac asked New Leaf, "How did you survive? It seemed… hopeless."

Sparkler concurred, "Yeah, I only just heard that ponies tried to kill you today! It seems… interesting. Unless it's too traumatic to talk about?"

New Leaf looked around for Starlight, didn't find her, and sighed. "I need to figure out how much it's safe to say without tripping a strange magical trigger and destroying things."

"Whoa."

"I think I can explain everything to you, but I need to check with Starlight first."

Derpy said, "How about you come by in the morning and you can tell us over breakfast?"

New Leaf closed his eyes and swallowed, then reopened his eyes, crying a little. "That would be nice."

~~~~

Apple Bloom poked Applejack and gestured to their mother as she stood next to Derpy's family. "Which of us do you think is in there?"

"What?"

"Mom's pregnant. Gotta be. She threw up this morning."

Applejack considered. "After all those pies last night, not too surprising. But it could be. Why do you think she ain't carrying you?"

"I figure, if Big Mac isn't actually the oldest, it's all okay if he marries Sugar Belle."

Applejack swallowed. "And Starlight delivered us."

Apple Bloom nodded. "Which means we need to be looking out. I'm fine. Are you in any danger of getting knocked up by a non-Earth Pony?"

Applejack choked. "No."

Narrowing her eyes, Apple Bloom went on, "Actually, I've never seen you look twice at a stallion. Are you into mares? That'd be convenient, I guess."

Applejack choked harder. "What? No." Then she thought for a moment. "Well, not more into mares than I am into stallions, which seems to be not at all."

"Really." Silence fell between them for a minute as they nibbled on party food and watched the others. Apple Bloom continued, "You know, none of the other elements actually seem to have ever been attracted to anypony either. At least, not before this whole business started."

"What? Rarity was all over Blueblood, then Trenderhoof, and then…"

"Yeah, and do you know what each of those guys had in common?"

Applejack raised an eyebrow. "No. What?"

"She found them in magazines. She was told to be attracted to them, and I think it was all social. Name one stallion she ever became attracted to by meeting him, before this business. Or any of the elements."

Applejack looked to Spike and saw him reach up and kiss Rarity on the cheek. And she wracked her brains. Not me for sure. Twilight, Pinkie, Rainbow, Fluttershy… "Can't say I can think of one."

Apple Bloom added, "Isn't it kind of weird that the crusaders have gone out with literally twice as many ponies as the elements? Rumble, Tender Taps, Griswold, Button?"

"You dated Griswold?"

"Didn't go far. I'm judging by intent, here. But point is, we aren't even quite as old as you six were at the time you became elements and we already have four times the experience per pony than you do, and all of your real experience is since this thing got started."

Applejack swallowed.

"Ah think you were all under some kind of magic thingamajig that was keeping you from getting attracted to ponies, and this new thing is finally breaking it."

Applejack frowned. "Except for me."

Apple Bloom nodded. "Except for you."

Applejack looked around at the various ponies. "I… can see that ponies are good looking or not. Thunderlane cleaned up real nice. Got a suit on. He and Fluttershy are a good couple."

Apple Bloom looked them over. "Yeah, he's good looking. See how Fluttershy's looking at him? You aren't looking at him that way. Do you want to feel that way about any pony? Hay, just look how Twilight's checking out Rockhoof. Or better example still:" She slowly emphasized each word, "Mom and Dad." A deep breath. "Do you want to be that someday?"

Applejack blushed. "Ah. I… don't know? I mean, it's okay not to be interested."

"Yeah, it's fine. If it was just you I wouldn't make a deal out of it. But all six of you? 'tain't natural. And ah think you're still stuck in it. If you want to be that way, great. If you don't…"

Applejack looked down to the ground, then up. She intensely watched the couples and other ponies at the party, watching as she'd never done before, trying to see what was in their heads that wasn't in hers. In her fourth minute, she suddenly declared, "Ah don't."

"All right, then. Should we go visit Flurry Heart and have…"

Applejack cut her off. "No, want to solve this without layering on more magic. If we can."

Apple Bloom said, "All right, Twilight could at least take a…"

"No. Twilight's so wrapped up in that other magic it'd just end up with me in it too."

"At least should we check with the other elements to make sure we're interpreting it right?"

"Don't matter no more. I'm pretty sure there's something mucking around with me."

Apple Bloom took a deep breath. "All right. What do we have to work with? You're not attracted to ponies. Take it from the other end - do you touch yourself at all?"

"Just enough to clean."

Apple Bloom sighed. "Figured. Have you seen ponies doing things with each other? Porn?" Applejack shook her head. "Well, we could start with that. What do you think?"

Applejack took a few seconds to think it over, then chuckled. "Part of me says this is pointless, but I don't trust that part. And another part says it's inappropriate. Maybe it is, but I think this is serious enough for something inappropriate. I'm determined to see it through. If this was shoved on me, even if it was shoved by the tree herself, I want to go be who I really am."

"All right. My plan starts off by checking whether touching yourself at least feels nice." Apple Bloom looked around. "Party's still going. Want to put this off til later? Bit of a hike back to the house."

Applejack nodded. "'s not like we aren't sleeping in the same bed tonight."

Apple Bloom considered. "Well, maybe we will, but maybe not mine. Who do you know who has the most experience in plumbing pony's most personal identities and helping them realize what they truly want?"

Applejack saw it and buried her face in her hat. "No…"

"Cutie Mark Crusaders… …!" Fortunately for all, Apple Bloom stopped right there, the occupation they would be attempting left blank.

Scootaloo popped up, momentarily followed by Rumble and Sweetie Belle, then Button.

Scootaloo asked, "What's the case?"

Apple Bloom coughed. "It's a special case, a secret one. Kind of different from usual." She looked to Applejack. "Do you have any objections to their involvement?"

Applejack looked them over. "Including the boys?"

Apple Bloom nodded. "They're essential. It'd be a little lacking a certain something without them, right?"

Applejack took a deep breath. "Which of you haven't been hit by what's going around lately?"

Button and Scootaloo raised a hoof.

Applejack pointed to Button. "Button, I more trust that you're clear of this than Scootaloo, so I am appointing you sanity checker. If we do anything that seems crazy, you tell us and we stop. Well, crazier than the basic idea of this thing. I'm going to do my best to go along if you aren't objecting. And it'll be a lot easier to go along if you're there ready to say no… but ya haven't. If we get to the point where I'm sure it's too much and you haven't said anything… I'll be mighty disappointed."

Button nodded gravely.

Sweetie asked, "I don't get it. What's the job?" She looked Applejack over. "Surely you don't need help interpreting your mark, and 'this mess' wouldn't be helpful for that."

Apple Bloom nodded, then softly said, "Right. AJ is involuntarily asexual."

Scootaloo blinked. "Uh, isn't the kind of thing you don't change?"

Apple Bloom held up a hoof. "We suspect foul play. Somepony or something is suppressing her usual… self."

Sweetie slowly nodded. "So maybe we can un-suppress it. What's your plan?"

Apple Bloom swallowed. "I think we'll start with her watching you making out."

Button laughed, then clarified by asking, "How far? I mean, Sweetie and I haven't done a whole lot?"

Apple Bloom shrugged. "It was just a thought. I think it's more important to be sensual than sexual. Also, we can talk about the things we've been imagining. I wonder whether that effect was created specifically to counter what is hitting Applejack."

Rumble grunted and said, "If so, their aim is not great. I had no problems before."

Apple Bloom then asked, "Where would be good? I'm thinking, whichever guest wing of the castle the Pillars aren't roomed in. But it's kind of sterile, and it'd be rude to go without an invitation, and getting one seems awkward. Anywhere else?"

Sweetie offered, "Clubhouse?"

"We'd get pretty muddy getting through that low field, and there's nothing to wash with there."

Button offered, "My room? My mom doesn't bother us for anything short of a house fire."

Sweetie giggled. "And even then she knocked."

There were no objections, so Button told his mom he was taking the crusaders home (not mentioning Applejack), and they headed out.

As they approached his home, Applejack swallowed and declared, "This is already feeling weirder than I've ever felt."

There was a general murmur of assent, but Rumble added, "And hotter, too."

Button's room was dominated by his bed. It stood right in front of them, headboard against the wall at their left. At their right was a work desk with soldering iron, clamps, and electronic components. Next to it was a bookshelf with more components and manuals. Past that, next to the corner, was the half-disassembled pinball machine he had been modifying. Just past the player end of that was the screen and console, with a beanbag chair in front. His dresser took the corner, facing the pinball machine. Above the monitor was an up-to-date map of Equestria and neighboring lands, and over the dresser was an art-poster diagram of the fundamental magical and physical forces as understood circa year 250. Alongside the dresser, to the left of the foot of the bed, was a large wall-mounted mirror, then a bookshelf for school and general purposes, then his study desk.

There was just enough floor space for all six of them to file into the room and stand in a C shape around the bed. Button, in the lead, climbed onto the head of the bed. "I guess we won't all fit on here. Maybe four of us if we get really cozy? Or three on the bed, one on each of the other seats."

So Sweetie joined him in the middle of the bed, and Applejack got on the foot for the best view; Rumble sat upright in Button's work chair, and Scootaloo stood next to him at the door; Apple Bloom took the study desk at Button's left.

Button laughed and kissed Sweetie lightly.

Apple Bloom asked, "Button, do you have any porn?"

Button choked. "Umm." Looking around the room, and finally at Applejack, who was not looking stern but merely wondering, he finally answered, "Between the two tall manuals on the second shelf."

Rumble turned around and pulled it out. "Heat. This… this is vintage. 986? Wow."

Then he laid it carefully on the work bench and opened it so Applejack could see.

Applejack saw it and glared. "Put this away."

Apple Bloom, exasperated, said, "Sis… how are we going to help if…"

Rumble spoke over her, "No, she's right. This is that new guy. Derpy's dad. Think we should probably let him start over. Don't need to see him like this." He put the magazine back.

Applejack squinted. "Could you could tell what they were doing? It seemed… vague."

"Well, it was the first page. They didn't get closer than her hoof on his dong. Button, that seemed a little thin - was it just the one series?"

Button nodded, and swallowed.

Sweetie kissed Button. "Oh well. Thanks for sharing." He kissed her back, working through the embarrassment. While he was pulling back from it, she yanked his hips to put him on his back, then lay across him and put her head on his chest. "Sooo… you said we should talk about what we were imagining? One of the things I imagined before was sort of 'ignored sex'. We'd have a little orgy going in here, and your mom would knock and we'd say come in and she'd give us cucumber slices and juice and remind us to go outside later, and she simply wouldn't care what we were all doing." Apple Bloom and Scootaloo noticed what she didn't mention about that orgy (that Button was not a participant but also ignoring it), but didn't move to clarify. Button chuckled, and she continued. "But for the past few hours I've been imagining something different. I've been imagining that Princess Twilight determined that you were the perfect male, and she needed you to get her pregnant. But you only wanted to be with me. So, I blew you and spat it into her. Then she recommended that Pinkie also have your baby. So then we had sex, and then she got below me and I dripped into her. Then princess Twilight convinced all the other elements to also have your babies, and she cast a spell on me so that made me super stretchy, so you could go into me your cum would come out my belly button, where it went into this stone tube, and then we got them pregnant through that, and Princess Celestia carefully secretly monitored all of this through a magic mirror."

Button blinked. "We've kissed, and you were imagining all that?"

Sweetie shrugged. "A. I told you it was a magical mind whammy thing. B. We have also held our bodies together like this before, which as far as I'm concerned is beyond kissing. C. Imagination goes way ahead of reality, right? What have you imagined, totally unaffected by magic?"

Button took a moment to think. "Well, I have imagined doing all the usual things, I guess, but mostly just, normally. Except once I imagined that we were in a video game doing it, and the players were watching. And… once dreamed that I'd made a pinball machine of you. And it kind of was you. I got the ball up your chute."

Sweetie smiled. "Imaginative. How about we let Scootaloo do the talking next? She seems like she wants to share something?"

Sweetie shifted up a little on Button and they began kissing, and kept at it. Apple Bloom watched Applejack watching the two lying diagonally in front of her, their butts aimed right at Apple Bloom. Sweetie shifted her legs, widening her stance, and her pussy winked once.

Scootaloo, having gathered her thoughts, said, "Yeah, since I heard your stories I've been kind of working on my own, I guess. So, the crusaders were called in to help a stallion who worked with his forehooves. Like, road worker or something. Only his legs were broken. After a while it came out that the cutie mark problem would take care of itself when his legs got better, but in the mean time, he just wanted to see some road-laying action. So we made a small stretch of road in front of him. And the way we did it involved a lot of putting our forelegs close to the ground and our butts in the air. He liked that a lot. We noticed he liked it, and began trying to be sexy. He admitted that the real problem wasn't so much his cutie mark but that he couldn't hoof off. But then we were so sexy at him, he came, hooves free."

Rumble laughed, but the others were too concentrated on the way that Sweetie was grinding against Button, still kissing. She raised her body for a moment and glanced down.

Scootaloo observed, "Hey, got something down there, what do you know?"

Apple Bloom got off the chair and walked around to where she could see. She only got a glimpse of Button's elevated erection before Sweetie pressed it down with her belly and resumed kissing him.

Rumble coughed and said, "I guess it's my turn? So, before I was imagining that everypony loved my sperm. Used it for all sorts of things. But today, when I was waiting around at the party, I… I imagined that I came to Princess Celestia with some really stupid petition, and she told me that to make up for wasting her time, I should orally service her in front of the court during the next petition. I felt so embarrassed, but Scootaloo felt bad and to give me support came up and helped me with it. The next petitioner had this enormously complex thing about taxes, and we were edging Celestia the whole time, at least after the first few minutes. Eventually, she came and said 'yes', and for some reason that had to be interpreted as her meaning she accepted the proposal, and we should be punished for making her do that, so we…" he suddenly had a harder time speaking, as Scootaloo had begun tickling her feathers against his half-erect shaft. "… we had to sign into this group of ponies who royalty could call on to service them. Not exactly a harem. Any… way… hoooo. The first pony who took us was Prince Blueblood. And this is the weird part. Because I wouldn't normally interested, but the magic… anyway, he had us blow him, which we also did together; then once he was ready, he had me take him up the butt while he took Scootaloo that way too." He paused and shivered from the sensation.

Apple Bloom took advantage of the break to ask Applejack, "How are you feeling?"

Applejack frowned. "It's like I can barely see what's happening right in front of me. I can kind of see… well, it's not blurry, but it takes work to recognize it. I can understand what I hear better."

"Then we need more stories, or even just narration, and maybe we need to work on the physical side. Can you rub yourself?"

"How?"

Apple Bloom sat back in the chair, spread her legs, and demonstrated. "Like this. Maybe lie against the head of the bed?"

Applejack got off the bed; Button rolled Sweetie over and lay on top of her; Applejack took the vacated spot at the head of the bed. Apple Bloom got up next to her and used her right hoof to guide Applejack's left. "More like this. Maybe we can bust through that way." And they looked down upon Button and Sweetie rubbing their bodies, and at Scootaloo stroking Rumble.

Rumble continued his story. "So… the next princess to call upon us was Luna. She… ffff… oh Scootaloo this is so good." Scootaloo giggled, and he managed to continue. "So Luna cast a spell to give you a dick and I did her pussy while you did her butt. And it didn't go away after we went home, eith… ooooooh." Scootaloo had wrapped her wingtip around his penis and positively gripped it.

Button said, "Whooooa."

Applejack stopped letting Apple Bloom guide her motion against herself and sharply asked, "You said 'whoa' - is it too far? I, ah, think Scootaloo is touching his willie, right?"

Button gulped and described, "She is holding it. And, uh, I guess that's okay? Just surprising and, just, 'whooa' in general."

Apple Bloom added, "Also, sis? Willie is for little colts. Pick any of the other hundred words. What you're looking at is basically a fully-grown stallion's cock."

Applejack stared at it, frowning, trying to parse her visual field better. After a few seconds, she relaxed and Apple Bloom set her hoof in motion again. After a few more seconds, she figured that Applejack probably had that motion down. So, she began to withdraw her hoof. But Applejack put her right hoof over Apple Bloom's right and pulled it back in against her left hoof, making Apple Bloom guide her masturbation again. "Please - if you let go I'd probably just stop again. And, Rumble, Ahm sorry, but the beginning of your story was a lot better than the later parts. Maybe it doesn't need to be authentic, just make something up?"

Apple Bloom said, "I could take my turn. So, I'm imagining that Starlight's going to have a very busy time next year. She'll be not only carting me back, but all of the elements too. Turns out Twilight's real mom is Rarity. And Rarity's real mom is Pinkie. And Pinkie's real mom is Fluttershy. And Fluttershy's real mom is Rainbow Dash, and Rainbow Dash's real mom is you, and your real mom is me. But all of the fathers are right."

Button complained, "That didn't make any sense…"

Scootaloo said over him, "So you're going to bang your own father to conceive Applejack?"

Apple Bloom laughed. "I only met him yesterday. As far as most of my brain is concerned, he's just a hot stallion. So, which pair do you want to start with?"

Applejack said, "I'm sorry, Bloom, but that isn't working for me."

Apple Bloom cast around for another idea, looked around for help, then back to Applejack. Then she noticed Applejack was looking at the way Scootaloo's rear end wiggled as it pointed towards her. Applejack glanced to the mirror before shifting back to Scootaloo. Apple Bloom looked to the mirror. Though she couldn't see anything but Sweetie Belle's hoof there, she guessed that from Applejack's point of view, it would be looking up her leg a good bit further. Could I also have been right the first time? She's into mares?

"Rumble, I'm sorry to interrupt the most amazing thing that's happened to you, but can I borrow Scootaloo? And Button…" she gestured him off the bed.

The boys reluctantly disengaged, and the other two crusaders gathered on the foot of the bed.

Apple Bloom tried to work it out. "Okay, can each of you lean back against your boyfriend and, uh, do what I'm doing?"

Scootaloo and Sweetie shared a look. Scootaloo said, "You want us to hoof each other off."

"No, each hold the back of the others' hoof…"

Applejack moaned.

Sweetie gulped at the sudden appearance of progress. "Oh. I guess I can do that." As they slowly put their further hooves on themselves and snaked their nearer hooves over to the other, she recalled, "If this is what you want, then maybe a few more details about my old thoughts would help? So, the elements and crusaders were right here, but the bed was bigger. You're sitting where you are, and Twilight's where Apple Bloom is. Facing her, legs all tangled up and kissing, is Fluttershy. Rarity is at the foot of the bed, scissoring Pinkie."

"Whatting?"

"Uhhh, not sure how to describe that."

Scootaloo joked, "We could demonstrate." Sweetie glared at her.

Scootaloo laughed harder. "Hold on, Rumble. Yeah, enjoy the view Button." She swung her right leg over Sweetie's left. "Like this, see?"

Applejack squinted."That doesn't seem very intimate?"

Sweetie realized that Scootaloo wasn't aiming to actually scissor her, just give the idea, and rolled further over to improve how they were lined up, then shifted a little closer: their pussies lay around half a foot apart.

Apple Bloom said, "You see how they are?"

"I... I think they're hugging each others' hind hooves, with the other hind hoof on their back?"

Apple Bloom sighed. "Close your eyes, lean your head back, and visualize. I think your eyes are worse than useless here. Basic shape was right, but they're jammed up so they're rubbing pussies against each other." In reality, Scootaloo was slowly retreating to a neutral sitting position.

"What's it like? I can feel the bed shaking, so you must be doing something."

Apple Bloom blanked, confused that Applejack thought she was narrating what was happening instead of describing what scissoring was in general. Scootaloo dove into character and supplied, "It's soft, and damp, and warm, and special. There's this filly I've known for years and we've never done this before." She twitched her butt against the bed to make it shake rhythmically as if she was doing what she was describing. "It's like… it's suddenly okay to do this. We never realized we felt this way, but now that we're here…" She paused and sharply breathed in.

Sweetie took up the narrative. "It feels like love and acceptance, and wanting and getting, and I can't wait to do this with Apple Bloom too."

Apple Bloom laughed a little and ramped up Applejack's action. "Yeah, I can't wait to get in on that."

Scootaloo suggested, "Come over and kiss me."

Sweetie narrated, "I'm on your hoof now, since Apple Bloom went over to kiss Scoots." Having finished the true part, she proceeded to lie, "They're still at it, got some tongue in there. And Apple Bloom's spreading her legs apart, and pulling with one forehoof so she's wide open. I just want to bury my nose in it, mmmm..." Sweetie began writhing on the bed and making slurping sounds, while intensifying her motions Applejack's hoof. Rumble suppressed a snicker.

Applejack angrily said, "Button? You're not saying anything." She jerked her head forward, opened her eyes, and found the three fillies writhing but not touching each other. After a second, "Oh."

Button facehoofed. "Sorry, should have been granting permission for what they said they were doing."

Applejack blushed, then got off the bed. "Well, uh, I actually think that might have helped. I… have a lot to think about." She opened the door and rushed out.

There was silence until they heard the front door close, then Apple Bloom suggested, "Want to go back to you couples doing each other? That was nice."

Button coughed. "As the responsible party here, I'm declaring tonight over. How about we meet for lunch at the fountain at half past noon? Then we can decide what we want to do, when we aren't already massively, massively turned on?"

Rumble and Apple Bloom groaned. Sweetie nodded, used to this sort of thing.

Button continued, "In the mean time, I recommend you all go home and hoof off."

Scootaloo, Rumble, and Apple Bloom filed out, but Sweetie instead turned on the monitor.

Button gaped, then shook his head. "In case you didn't get the hint, I intend to hoof off right now too."

"'sokay, I won't watch. I'll just be over here playing."

Button froze.

After five seconds, he shrugged. "Okay."

~~~~

An hour later, Cream Heart came into her son's bedroom. He was lying back, uncovered on his bed; a game was on the monitor, showing 'game over' superposed over a screen showing a character in a safe place but the timer having run down to zero. She went to turn it off, and found Sweetie Belle lying there, controller in hoof.

She whispered, "Sweetie?"

Upon receiving no response, Cream Heart settled onto her haunches, slipped her forehooves under the filly, gently picked her up, and placed her on the bed. Sweetie slept through the mare's gentle rearrangements that left her on her side next to Button. With a smile, the mare left.

Author's Note

Anyone notice a pattern in the stories?

Sorry about the delay - summer ate my time. Should be a bit better starting next week.

Horn

"What's wrong, dear?"

Twilight tore her eyes off of Starswirl dancing with Mistmane and glanced to Rarity, sitting on the bean bag chair next to her. "The solution we found yesterday didn't entirely work."

Rarity perked an eyebrow. "I thought it didn't work at all."

"Turns out the missing ingredient was age difference. But it wore off for me a few hours ago, and now I'm also obsessed with spreading my sperm all over everything."

Rarity observed, "You don't have that."

"Not until I've cast this spell I can't stop designing in my head. Anyway, I think the timing was suspiciously close to a day. I'm wondering - have you gone a day without kissing Spike?"

Rarity considered. "No."

Twilight nodded. "So, I guess we're fine if we just keep doing it more often than that. To check, can you two go a day without kissing? If you suddenly begin feeling the old thoughts again, that's important data."

Rarity nodded. "I'm sure we can do that."

"On the other hoof… I've spoken with one pony who appears to have been completely cured. I wonder how much she did. More than kissing, she said."

Rarity coughed. "Well. That raises the point I thought you wanted to talk with me about yesterday."

"Oh?" Twilight realized immediately after she said it what Rarity must mean.

"Well, Spike and I recently… advanced to more than kissing."

"I see. Is there any room at all for your physical relationship to become more intense?"

Rarity immediately nodded. "We haven't done anything which could risk conceiving a draconequus, if that's a thing we could do. What with the name and all, we were a little concerned. So, ah, do you know where they come from?"

"No, but I'm pretty sure it took some special magic, more than a dragon and a pony bonking. Don't fuck him on or while wearing any major magical artifacts, like, say, wearing an element or on the table. And don't get wrapped up in fertility magic within a few days after being with him unless you've used Sea Mane's Removal. Or you can petrify your eggs to be on the safe side, like I have. Hrm. No, that's a bit advanced for you, but I could do it for you. Other than that, go to town."

Rarity blinked. "That was simpler than I was expecting."

Twilight nodded. After a minute, she said, "Where are the kids, anyway? I'd like to renew my therapy."

"Well, there's Spike."

"That'd work, but… I think the thoughts leak. Where do you think I got the idea of getting my sperm all over everything?"

Rarity gulped. "Oh my. Now I'm not sure I want to go a day without kissing him."

"Please?"

Rarity took a deep breath and nodded. "I wonder what I'll be picking up from him…"

Twilight returned to her spell design for a minute, and had a sudden insight. "Oh my. This… I think I may have just figured out how to get Tempest a working horn. Have you seen her?"

Rarity shook her head. "Well, I'll leave you to that." She headed out to mingle again.

Twilight got up and headed upstairs. A knock on her door - "Come in." Twilight found Tempest lying on her belly on her bed, reading. She looked up and smiled lightly. "Twilight. To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?"

Twilight asked, "Have you been in here all day?"

"Not at all. I walked around town until it got dark. Saw the sights. Castle Everfree and the clubhouse there, Ghastly Gorge. Your school grounds are nice."

Twilight smiled. "Thanks. We actually designed that, unlike the castle and clubhouse. So, anyway, I had an idea on how to give you a working horn."

Tempest's eyes widened, and she held her breath.

"Years ago, I cast a spell to give Rarity wings."

Tempest nodded. "Butterfly wings. They weren't as strong as pegasus wings, and would have worn off after a day or so. Do you mean you can adapt the spell to give a horn, and greatly increase the duration?"

Twilight shook her head. "The main insight from that was, we don't need to repair your existing horn, just get you one that works. I was also working on another spell that is simpler, but similar. I think that if I get that working, I can then adapt it to making you a new permanent horn, that we'd probably put just in front of or just behind your existing horn. The mana pathways would reroute themselves over time, and your old horn would magically dry up. Unless you keep making lightning blasts, in which case you'd maintain both, I think. Very speculative, here."

Tempest swallowed, and sat up on the edge of the bed. "That is a very attractive plan. Is there anything I can do to help this along?"

"Well, you could be a test subject for the other spell."

Tempest nodded. "And what's that other spell?"

Twilight came close and put a hoof on Tempest's barrel, aiming back to her belly. "You'd grow a different highly sensitive vascular organ, which though not also bony, does get hard at times."

Tempest grinned knowingly. "You want to give me a cock. Temporarily?"

Twilight nodded. "There'll be a trigger to end the spell, like touching the back of your head with your hoof, or something else you wouldn't do by accident."

Tempest decided to needle her. "Did you want to give me a cock so I could fuck you with it?"

"I do need to do this test before I can give you a functional horn. That is the main thing. But if you want? Hmm." She stopped and considered. "Well, I like you and respect you and trust you, and I think you think the same of me. I don't think we're going to fall in love, and we don't need to interact constantly so if it does get weird there won't be a major problem, but if you drop by occasionally that won't be suspicious. So, we can be discreet. And you can't get me pregnant, so that's out of the way. So I guess the setup is pretty much ideal, so sure, if you want to. Do you?" She's the best except for my parents. They'd be better in every way.

As Twilight said that, Tempest had an increasing giggle. "I see you've thought this through. So, no question I'd do you. But as for this penis you say I'll have… If it's usable, and if I don't hate it? Sure, I can try. If not, I guess it'll just be the test."

Twilight nodded. "Sounds like I should just go ahead?"

Tempest blinked. "Here? Now? Do you need a circle or diagram or something?"

"Transformations are my specialty, and it's definitely under my power level, so a diagram wouldn't really help." Tempest shrugged. Twilight began casting, and noted, "You should start studying unicorn magic again, at least the theory. I think this is all going to work. Maybe not on the first try, but I think it will."

Tempest didn't say anything. She was focused on the tingling sensation between her legs. She lowered her head to look down, and saw Twilight's magic pulsing around her nethers. The tingling went away and she was left numb. "I can't feel anything."

"I anesthetized it. If I didn't, this would be unbelievably painful. Since I want it to last longer, I can't do the usual pop reform. Doing it slowly, it could last a month or longer per casting."

Tempest put her head between her forelegs and watched as her body's reshaping became visible. Her heart pounded - it was more freakily alarming than any fight she'd been in - she couldn't feel it happening, she couldn't react to what was happening properly if she couldn't feel it, and anyway, there was nothing she could do. She took deep breaths and fought down her fear, preventing panic from taking hold.

After twenty seconds, it was done. Her feeling suddenly returned. Her new highly erect penis grazed lightly against her legs. Her body mapping suggested to her that this was happening on her clitoris and her urethra. Which, she supposed, was probably the case, but part of her brain insisted that should be behind her, not under. But as she looked at it, matching up the sensation with what she was seeing, the feeling of displacement faded.

Twilight's head came into view under her barrel - she was examining her work. "How is it? How does it feel?"

Tempest shrugged. "I feel like I'm wearing furry underwear, but I'll probably get used to that."

"Can I lick it?"

Tempest blinked. "You're not even going to pretend to be scientific about this?"

Twilight gave her a flat stare. "I'll get to the science later. I learned this spell to have sex with, one way or another. So, can I lick it?"

Tempest was tempted to just say 'yes' but a grin crept across her face. She snarled, "If you ever want to see your friends again, princess, you'd better."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Come on, I think this is a me-dominant scene. I'm the mad wizard who's modifying your body."

Tempest ran with it. "Oh no! Anything but sucking me off!"

Twilight's eyeroll intensified. "Or we could have the scene be that we're doing this because we're horny and convenient for each other. This has the benefit of being true."

Tempest acquiesced, and Twilight reached forward with her left hoof and pulled Tempest's new cock to the side so she could reach it without poking her in the belly with her horn.

"Ow! What are you doing?"

Twilight released it. "Sorry, I thought hooves were safe."

"It felt like it was made of rusty nails." She stepped back and rolled onto her bed.

Twilight came over and looked at it closely. She'd followed the diagrams and what she remembered of the few penises she'd seen, and tapped as best she could into the abstract form she was pretty sure attached to pony penises. And as far as she was concerned, she'd done a pretty good job!

Tempest twitched, and it jiggled. "You're breathing on it."

Twilight giggled, then got up on the bed between Tempest's lower legs and looked up to her. "I'm going to do more than that." This. I made this. It's like having a penis as my son, attached to a grown mare. So maybe I can trick my mind into buying it as incest, scratch that itch too? I made this! And it's here for me!

Twilight put out her tongue and slowly lowered her head, and put it just above the transition from the sheath to the shaft. Mindful of the sensitivity, she didn't move her tongue, just placed it. It shifted under her tongue as its erection went from subsiding to increasing once more.

Tempest bucked. "That's so intense. I can barely take it."

Twilight backed off. "I wonder why… should I tone it down somehow?"

"I'll just get used to it, if you keep going."

So Twilight put her tongue back on Tempest; she stiffened, arched her back, and after merely seconds began spasming, and she produced a tiny dot of semen. They stared at it, and at the slightly-shrinking penis. I guess I neglected the testes in my focus on the penis.

Tempest declared, "Once, I made fun of a guy for coming early. I take it back."

Twilight cocked her head. "Wait, I thought you are interested in mares? If both, maybe I should…"

"Nope, females for me. Didn't say he was doing me." She shuddered again. "That was… intense. More!"

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "You just came."

"MORE!"

Twilight shrugged and gingerly licked the penis. Tempest gritted her teeth and grunted. Twilight erected a soundproofing field around them, and considered how to continue. She crawled up a bit on Tempest and rubbed her chest against it.

Tempest howled and writhed until Twilight gave her a break. She panted out, "Turn around. It'll get weird if I can see your face."

Twilight stood, reared up, and pivoted. Then she lowered herself to press her vulva against the side of the shaft. Tempest grunted as if kicked, and tensed up everywhere. Twilight pulled forward a little. Tempest shuddered as she had before, in orgasm.

"Again." Twilight pushed back, and Tempest emitted a high-pitched shriek, her whole body vibrating.

"Again! Do I have to tell you every time?"

As Twilight pulled forward again, she said, "Given your reactions, I'm not sure it'd be a good idea to keep going without your okay." Tempest's hind legs thumped against the bed as she sucked in air desperately.

After two deep breaths, Tempest said, "I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that."

Twilight repeated what she'd said with a wicked grin, as she pushed backward again. Tempest screamed, and this time as Twilight's rear came close, Tempest reached forward, pulled on her hips and pulled, pressing Twilight's vulva to her mouth.

Twilight gasped at the sudden manipulation, then stopped struggling and focused on what Tempest was doing. Tempest had not started subtly and gently like the books had suggested. She hungrily jammed her snout against Twilight, and with a feat of oral dexterity massaged Twilight's clitoris with her lower lip while licking around her vagina.

The books have a point, I think. I'm excited, but that was a bit abrupt. Anyway, I can't wait to see if I can do what she's doing, or if it's as hard as it feels like it is. Wish you were here, Mom. Oh wait! There's a penis here, but I didn't get rid of her usual equipment. Twilight lowered herself down, pressing down on the penis with her barrel, and leaned her head in to face Tempest's altered crotch. Urethra and clitoris and prepuce were gone, but the labia and vagina remained. Twilight tried to replicate the licking motion.

Her motions failed as Tempest squeezed her hip tighter and the sensation rose. Or maybe I can focus on receiving what she's sending me, and cover how to do it myself later. The waves of ecstasy reverberated through her, making her twitch, which with the penis pressed to her, was a perfectly adequate form of reciprocation - so adequate that she felt it pulse, and another splotch of liquid emerged against her belly, as Tempest let her head fall back; her only verbalization was a gurgle.

They lay still for a few seconds.

Tempest raised her head and said, "I think I've only got one more in me. Let's make it count. I want to fuck you."

Twilight gaped. "With your sensitivity?"

"It'll be glorious. This has been like a hard sparring match, but with no bruises. That'll be like only the good parts of being stabbed."

Twilight wasn't entirely sure what those might be, but she got up and carefully stepped off the bed. Tempest shivered one last time and rolled to her feet. Twilight looked over her shoulder. "Sorry about the face, but I want to see."

Tempest looked up from where she'd been focusing. "Didn't even notice. I've never done this before, and it's not so easy. I feel like I'm about to have to take some other taunts back."

"I could guide you."

"… yeah, that'd probably be a good idea."

Twilight made her telekinetic field as gentle as possible, pulling the penis on axis with her vagina. Tempest used it as feedback and did most of the moving herself. Then she slipped forward, making contact, then pressing into Twilight's soaking vagina.

This is it. I'm having sex with a pony. And nopony's going to figure it out. Or if they do, we can laugh it off. Oh yeah, holding a press conference about the rumors, and I get Tempest up there and show off her penis and then I lick it and she sends tiny spurts all over their notepads.

… you know, I might want to pay attention to how it feels. Okay… It's actually really nice! Not as if that's a surprise. I'd need an entirely new vocabulary to put it into words, though. It's just not comparable to other feelings.

Tempest gradually put more and more weight on Twilight's back, then stopped moving.

Twilight gave her a few seconds, then said, "Tempest? Was it too much, so you needed to stop to avoid coming too early?"

No response.

Twilight lifted the unconscious Tempest out and off of her, and put her on her bed. She suffused the entire room with Sea Mane's Removal, then released the soundproofing. She listened at the door - there were no hoofsteps in the hall.

Her heart was still going pretty hard, and she was dripping in the wrong places, so she went to her room and took a thirty second cold shower, and dried off.

Then back down to the party, such as it was.

Rainbow Dash zoomed up to her and poked her. "Hey, where've you been?"

"I had an idea on how to give Tempest a working horn. Turns out she's asleep."

Inception

Author's Note

All right! So, I've written the chapters out to the main climax of the story. There are a few epilogues still to go, but as long as I don't publish one a day I should have them done in reasonable time. It's a good stopping point, better than where I left you last time.

And more to the point, it's resolved to the point that I'm confident I won't need to go back and change anything here.

Inception

Buttercup nudged Applejack. "Jackie? We kind of need to use this bed, even if it is yours. It was what we agreed on, right?"

Applejack took the pillow off her head and rolled over. "Momma, can I sleep with you tonight?"

Buttercup giggled, then laughed. "Just like a little filly again… yes, Jackie, I'd love to. I think Bright Mac would like it too."

Bright Mac popped his head in. "What would I like?"

"Jackie wants to snuggle."

"Aww, that's…" He frowned. "Ah was going to say adorable, but it's been ages since she's held us, for her. Okay, kiddo, I'll just hop on in. And… you know… if Bloom really is our daughter, it's time we made her feel like one."

Buttercup giggled again, revealing perhaps a bit much salt intake for the evening. "Yes, that sounds good."

So when Apple Bloom got out of the bathroom, she was invited in and eagerly accepted, and they all crammed in together on Applejack's bed, with Applejack on the window end next to her mom, and Apple Bloom on the other end next to her dad.

Apple Bloom's thoughts were furiously running around in the same circles - Don't feel up my dad. Hug like he's Big Mac or Applejack. Big Mac is just my brother now, not father too. Here's the real deal, and he's accepting me and that's all fine. Never mind that Applejack obviously did this to get out of what we were going to do together, because if I think that I'm going to end up molesting my dad and that would be bad.

~~~~

Applejack was bucking apples, and it seemed like she wasn't making any progress. The fields were endless. She looked back and saw that what she'd already bucked was endless, too. After a moment's thought, she realized that if she'd already bucked an endless supply of apples, that was good enough. But what else was she to do? She was tired and sore. Apple Bloom spotted her and led her to where Big Mac was mounted on Sugar Belle, next row over.

"Quite a sight, innit?"

Applejack took a moment to parse that, and couldn't quite muster a reply. She kept her eyes on Sugar Belle's enraptured face. Sugar Belle liked what she was doing. Sugar Belle spotted them and didn't know how to react. Apple Bloom waved happily, and Sugar Belle smiled back. Big Mac remained unaware.

Big Mac kept up their rhythm, and the whole earth swayed with it - they were now giant, vaulted over the trees. Curious, Apple Bloom walked under, eyes up towards the ceiling of their bodies. Applejack walked with her, confused.

"Sugar Belle, come have a look at this!"

Sugar Belle joined them down below, and looked up at the gargantuan herself and Big Mac's coupling. She nodded. That is what one expects that to look like, yes. Not like she hadn't seen it before.

"You ever been with a mare?"

Sugar Belle had. Our Town had been a commune, and they had experimented with housing - and with it, the loose expectation of sexual availability - being by rotation. That had been one of the reasons for the delay in getting married, when Big Mac suddenly had to deal with the idea that she'd been with twenty other ponies. And that even now she wasn't strictly against adding in another partner if he wanted. That had thrown him for a right loop, and had caused enough of a ruckus that it pushed back their wedding by a few years.

"What do you think of Applejack?"

Sugar Belle thought that Applejack was very good looking, but she hadn't really considered her in this light before. Applejack, for her part, feared what Granny Smith might say about her seeing a mare at all, let alone her sister-in-law.

It turned out that Granny Smith was there and she might say any of several things, but she wouldn't object to that, considering… Oh, when Cousin Crabby lived with them, the only reason they weren't tearing each others' throats out by day was nightly mutual orgasms. And after she left, cousin Goldie Delicious took her place, and then her little sister Apple Rose wanted in, and got her way. Cousin Pink Lady was a whore, but she would make it a square with the three of them from time to time, until she ran off with Grand Pear.

Buttercup, also present, asked, "So my mom was a whore?"

Only for a year or so, and not once she got hitched. Not that there'd be anythin wrong with making a career of it like aunt Cherry, so long as her husband didn't mind none. Anyway, while trying to raise Bright Mac…

Apple Bloom cut in, "So, where did he come from?"

Well he wasn't coming from fooling around with a mare, that's for sure. Granny Smith wasn't interested in stallions, so her strategy was to find one who was objectively good and get pregnant by him. So she went to the grand rodeo and fucked the highest ranking male. In the sixth year of that, the fourth place winner fell in love with her and to her great surprise she loved him back and so that was more or less the end of her time with mares until the Golden Horseshoe Gals trips. They'd brutally abused Applejack's obliviousness.

Apple Bloom noticed that Big Mac had arrived and taken up the synchronous actions with the large instance above. She asked him, "Hey, do you mind if Sugar Belle hooks up with Applejack?"

He wasn't quite aware enough to give a response. Granny Smith had had a similar arrangement with her brother Strudel in regards to his wife Collard Greens.

Then the dream disintegrated into individual participants as Luna arrived on the scene and broke it up. She started with Apple Bloom. "What are you doing?"

"Uh… hi, Luna. I guess I was dreaming?"

Luna stiffened. "Thou knowest this and thou knowest also that thy family's private matters are laid bare, and you persist. Even not being a dreamwalker, thou needs know this is wrong."

Apple Bloom nodded guiltily. "I have a reason I thought was more important, but I guess you're probably right. Also, I wasn't exactly lucid until way too late. Applejack's been hit with some magic thing that keeps her from thinking about sex at all, and it seems like it's been on her for a long time, and all the other elements too, until they were hit by this other magic thing that's been going around, and it hit me too. After trying some things, I thought this dream might be useful."

"Did it not occur to you to wonder how it occurred? Your 'magic thing' was attacking her 'magic thing' and dragging in the rest of your family. Except your father, who appears to be awake."

"I… like I said, not quite lucid."

Luna sighed, perplexed. No longer irate, her lapse into the old speech faded. "I see. Why tonight?"

"Well, it's the first night we knew she had her thing, and also the first night we're sleeping in the same bed."

"Then wake up and move to another."

"Yes, princess."

Apple Bloom woke and found herself snuggled up to Buttercup instead of Bright Mac, who wasn't in bed. She got up and headed back to her room, where she found her father lying, eyes open. He turned to see her. "Hey …" There was a gap where a pet name ought to have gone.

"… Blossom?", she suggested.

"Sounds good. Came back to your bed?"

Apple Bloom nodded. "I'm awake though. You don't seem like you're sleeping. Want to talk?"

He chuckled. "Sure." He rolled over and made room for her. "It's really weird having you suddenly here. I'm told you're my daughter but… you still just seem like a young mare to me."

Apple Bloom slipped in. "Well, you're my dad. I've missed you all my life, and now that you're here, I love you so much."

"So I just slotted in as dad?"

"I'm still working on it, but after this evening you're up to around 80% dad from around 50-50 dad and random hot stallion… er… forget I said that."

He chuckled. "I know what you mean. You're brand new to me so I… kind of feel about you the same way I felt when Buttercup got pregnant with Applejack, mixed with Jackie's birth and first words, only it's all shoved on top of each other and I feel cheated out of it all. The photo album really didn't feel like enough."

"It wasn't, but you'll be here to see me graduate and walk me down the aisle and all the rest. And hold me at night when I need it."

So he did.

Luna, meanwhile, had moved on to the other lucid member, Buttercup.

"Good night."

Buttercup jumped on top of a tree. "Yikes! You… you must be princess Luna? That was strange. Was it a nightmare?"

Luna nodded. "I am, Buttercup. Did you find the dream distressing?"

Buttercup frowned. "Well, embarrassing now that I think of it, watching my son and his wife… and hearing so much about my mother in law, and my mother. Whether or not it's so."

"I am not personally aware of the revelations you have had, and would prefer not to be unless you feel it is both your secret to share and important."

Buttercup shook her head.

"I am investigating the magic that made this occur and will make every reasonable effort to prevent it from recurring."

"Thank you, but it seems like the only real damage is going to be some embarrassment over the breakfast table, and that only if the others realize it was a shared dream."

"Most did not. Since you are all right, I will allow your dreams to resume their natural progression. I hope to have the opportunity to meet you in the flesh in a few weeks."

"Er… I have no objections, princess."

Luna nodded and released the dream. After checking the other dreams from the outside, she determined that they were best off without major disturbance, minimizing the risk that they would take the dream seriously. She introduced some additional elements to provide distraction, and left.

~~~~

Sugar Belle woke up early. That was a weird dream. Especially the part with the sorting machine. I've never seen one, but somehow watching myself get routed through the Equestrian postal system was… oddly satisfying. Though the way it had ended up, with my being delivered to Applejack's cunt, was a bit odd. Made sense as a callback to the earlier part of the dream where Apple Bloom and Granny Smith were trying to ship me with Applejack.

Big Mac groaned lightly and pulled her onto him, incidentally pushing the blanket aside. The chill will wake us up more in a minute. They kissed, then kissed some more. Sugar Belle humped the base of his morning-hardened shaft gently.

"When are we going to have proper sex again?", she asked.

"When we've sorted out… this business."

"Right. Well, that could be a while, couldn't it?"

"Granny said don't worry about it for two weeks from two days ago. So, twelve days?"

Sugar Belle sighed. "Well, it does give us an opportunity to branch out and try new things. Like this." She sat up and began rubbing her pussy against his shaft. It reminded her of when she'd scissored Night Glider that one time they rotated in together. That had been… good. Her body began undulating, waves moving up, away from Big Mac's shaft.

The door opened and Applejack walked in. Sugar Belle slowed; the blanket was nowhere near where it could be brought to cover them.

Applejack moved to the dresser and opened the drawer. Sugar Belle moved back a little on Big Mac. Applejack slurred out, "Huh. But. This isn't my room." She halted for a moment to collect her thoughts. Sugar Belle pushed forward again. "We changed plans agin, right. Didn't even notice I started in my room. Oh, hi, you're awake." As Sugar Belle pushed back again, Applejack gave them a smile and walked out. She didn't even close the door.

Sugar Belle looked down at Big Mac and giggled at his bulging eyes. She decided to see what would happen if she doubled down. "Honey, I think I have a new fetish." She resumed motion at regular speed.

"Guh… guh… getting walked in on?"

"And their treating it ordinary."

"Got lucky."

Apple Bloom's voice was audible a moment before she walked in. "Hey, you know where we're keeping Dad's second favorite hat?"

She waited for their answer, face schooled to neutrality. Sugar Belle, having paused, resumed moving. Apple Bloom successfully suppressed a smirk. Big Mac managed to grunt out, "Attic, over front window, box on top."

"Thanks!" She turned and left without a hint of acknowledgement.

Sugar Belle looked at her go. "I think she heard us."

Big Mac shuddered. "Eeeyup."

"And she's going along with it."

Big Mac lifted her off of him. "Next comes Ma, and that's a step too far."

She grinned. "And your sisters aren't?"

He didn't dignify that with a response. Rather, he didn't acknowledge that she had a point.

Sweetie Belle

Button had a feeling of excessive warmth. He tried to toss off the blanket and then startled fully awake when he bumped his leg on a hoof.

Sweetie Belle had been spooning behind him. This is not good. She promised she'd go home last night. She zapped my spunk away, kept playing. I asked her to go, and she said she'd just finish the level, then head home. Should have held out for a Pinkie promise. Damn. Can I trust this girl now?

She stirred, then mumbled, then spoke more clearly. "Hey."

"Why are you in my bed?"

"… because you changed your mind?"

"I didn't change my mind."

"Then why did you pick me up and put me in your bed?"

Button rolled over so he was on the edge of the bed and he could face her. "Sweetie, I did not do that. You got in on your own. Like you promised you wouldn't."

She jerked away. "I didn't. You put me here."

"Do you seriously believe that? I wouldn't!"

"Do you seriously believe I would make that up?"

"You're the one who was hit by mind control! You asked to stick around while I hoofed off! You stayed all night when you said you'd leave!"

"It was an accident! I fell asleep while recharging my magic meter. Next thing I know, you're putting me here!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

Button got up and walked around the bed, just pacing. "I feel like you're not yourself these past two days."

"The 'mind control' has been in place since around two days after we started dating, not just the last two days."

He gave her a hard look and continued. "Don't try to deny the last two days have been much more intense than usual, and that the mind control is at the heart of it. Like Applejack said last night, I'm the one who's unaffected. It's up to me to make sure we don't go off the rails."

"That was a completely different problem. She didn't want to want what she wanted. I do."

Button completed his second lap and continued pacing back and forth. "Ah, but would you if you were unaffected, and will you once you're cured? I wonder if…". His eye caught the pinball machine. "It's like if your tilt sensor were broken and you're telling me to just roll the ball up the chute with gravity."

She sat up and threw her hooves up in the air. "I'm not a broken pinball machine!"

"You're crossing lines you don't mean to cross and you can't even remember doing it. I think something's in the way."

"All right. First, I want some things I didn't want before, but things like that happen all the time at this age. If we get rid of it in the future, I'll be okay with having wanted that."

"You can't know that."

"It feels like it's me, here, and it's not like I want to attack Canterlot. It's like I want to… well right at this moment I don't feel like doing anything with my boyfriend, but in general it feels like I want to do things that it makes sense for me to want to do, and I fantasize about some other things, and that's pretty much normal for a mare. I don't think I was wrong not to want it before, and afterwards I won't think I was wrong to want it now."

"Okay, but you might later think I was wrong to go along with anything you said. If I'd been affected, maybe, but I'm not. You had stricter standards, you will have those standards again, and I have had my standards all along. We're taking this in a reasonable order and pace so we don't fuck this up because I don't think there's a way in Tartarus I can find another mare as amazing as you."

She didn't catch the compliment and rejoined, "Taking it too fast is not the only way to fuck things up, Button. You've got to also trust me! I did not get in bed with you. I was going to go back home and go to sleep because I was very, very tired. So tired that I fell asleep here. Next thing I know, I'm being carried into your bed. You don't remember carrying me."

"I don't think I can carry you."

"Then what, do you think your mom did it?"

Button stopped. He took a deep breath. "Maybe. She ships us hard. If you didn't, then it was definitely her. Come to think on it, that's not far-fetched. Sorry. It didn't occur to me."

Sweetie flopped back onto the bed. "Okay. I guess I can see how it wouldn't seem like a go-to explanation. But, Button? There's a second thing."

Button's wave of relaxation snapped back into mild terror.

"I… really, really want to have sex. I'd been hoping to just get by with accelerating our schedule, but if you're determined to take it slow… How long are you thinking?"

"I really don't know. I love you, Sweetie, and I don't think it'd be right to do that with you while you're affected, unless you're stuck that way permanently."

Sweetie groaned. "I'm beginning to come around to your way of thinking."

"How so?"

"We can't have sex while I'm screwed up like this. But if I don't, I'm going to explode."

Button frowned. "Were you okay for the day after Twilight kissed you?"

"Yeah! Can we take things like normal so long as I don't make any decisions when I haven't kissed Twilight in the last day?"

Button thought for five seconds. "Normal. A regular pace. No acceleration."

"Ugh. Well, then, want to head over to the castle for my daily treatment?"

Button chuckled. "This is going to be weird. Sure."

They set out side by side. Button looked about furtively; Sweetie held her head high. "Button, this is not a walk of shame. As if there ought to be such a thing. You did good last night, all around. And we did kind of all right this morning, in the end."

Button breathed deeply and nodded. Sweetie pulled the castle door open and they slipped inside.

As Sweetie led him purposefully, Button observed, "It's very early. Do you think she's up yet?"

Sweetie shrugged. "I think it counts even if she's asleep. I don't remember how I know which room is hers, but here it is." After checking… "She's not there. Library, probably."

They headed to the library; Sweetie softly asked, "Twilight? I think we need to kiss again."

There was no sign of Twilight other than a pile of notes.

"If she left notes out like that, she's probably still here. Maybe she fell asleep in the stacks." Sweetie glanced at the header of the paper on top of the pile. "It's about this mess."

Button looked alongside. "How can you tell? It's in some kind of code."

"What? Seems to me like perfectly clear Equish."

After giving it a second look and shaking his head, Button said, "Must be a magic code tied to the thing. That's a good sign! What does it say?"

She read:

Kissing Observations:
- Frequent intergenerational kissing keeps most symptoms at bay (Rarity, Spike) (so 9 years is sufficient? 3:2 age ratio? Hoofner rule??)
- Effect of kissing lasted precisely 1 day (Me, ~~Ru~~subject 1). Can gather more data easily.
- Possible: fantasies began to leak after kiss effect lapsed
I have begun to fantasize about subject 1 and 2's fantasies, and I have a suspicion that the other new one is from subject 3. No obvious import from subject 4, though could have had overlap. Since I heard subject 1 and 2's fantasies, this could just be my thinking about them and thinking of a new one on my own. Again, easy to gather more data.

Further treatment:
- Subject 5 reported total cure after 'more than kissing' with unknown (to me; probably not affected). Over a month has passed since subject 5 last had contact with subject 0, and cure has lasted since then.
- this was definitely intergenerational.
- Subjects 4 and 6, and now 7 and 8, have had same-generation sex, no effect. 4 and 6 have kissed. 7 and 8 have not (arguably).
- if vision is a guide, kiss and immediate intergenerational sex triggered spell's release effect.
- But 5 probably did not kiss: would have already known about kiss effectiveness
- Possibly need to have one participant under dark magic so it can be broken by effect?
-- Subject 5 and partner were probably not under dark magic effect.

Experiment:
- get affected volunteers for intergenerational sex. Try each step and be sure it did not work before proceeding.
- 1 simply make contact
- 2 slight insertion
- 3 full penetration
- 4 climax
- In any case, note exact time of start. Proceed slowly, until effect is noticed. Immediately withdraw upon feeling relief. Note exact time of finish. After, monitor thoughts for possible return on following days, especially at that time each day.
- If that doesn't work, go back and ask subject 5 just what the buck she did.
- Lesbian action sufficient? Same sex kisses seemed the same as mixed-sex kisses. Affected stallions in short supply. Or could go outside circle of affected. Or make more?
-- No other leads. All previous participants

Sweetie and Button shared a look. Sweetie swallowed.

Button closed his eyes. "That last line… I… if this is the only cure we can have… I suppose it's necessary."

She swallowed again. "I'm afraid that I'll enjoy it."

"Well, don't go out of your way to make it as fun as possible unless that's necessary, but if you do end up enjoying it… all right?"

"You're okay with me just bonking somepony else but not okay with me bonking you?"

"I'm kind of resigned here. But it's all in the reason for doing it, Sweetie. So you can be yourself again."

"I know why you'd think that, I'm just impressed it sounds like you actually feel it."

"If you just did it because you felt like it, that would be very, very bad. But… it'd help if it were somepony you don't know. So far it seems like everypony is. Also, I don't know of anyone outside our age range who's a guy. It might need to be… you know."

Tempest gently cut in, "I don't know you."

They spun in alarm and found her lying on a bench at the side of the library, a magic textbook in front of her.

Sweetie frowned. "Commander Tempest?"

"I'm afraid you have the advantage of me."

"I'm Sweetie Belle, Rarity's sister. This is Button Mash, my boyfriend."

"Ah. Would you like to attempt the first experiment, at least?"

Sweetie frowned. "That wouldn't be the first experiment, since it's listed lasss… huh." Tempest had rolled to sit upright, presenting her cock. "Have you always had that?"

"Twilight spent the evening working on replacing my horn. As a warmup, she gave me… this temporary addition. Unlike the horn is to be, this is not quite fully functional - I can't get anypony pregnant."

Sweetie pumped a hoof. "I knew she could make a penis. Take that, inaccurate fantasies!"

Tempest got up. "Shall we?"

Sweetie boggled and chuckled. "Like that? Just go?"

"Foreplay is for ponies who are making love. This is curing a disease."

Sweetie glanced to Button. He soberly nodded, propelling her laughter from chuckle to a single sharp laugh, then a giggle. "I suppose. All right, doctor." She spun around and flipped her tail up.

Tempest walked closer, but stopped short of making contact. "I will stand rigidly and you may press back. You are in control."

Sweetie nodded and noted that Tempest wasn't kidding about rigidity - she seemed to be at attention, and indeed gritting her teeth. She sidled backwards and made contact.

After three seconds, Sweetie commented, "I feel the urge to push back hard. Even though I don't think we're entirely lined up. Well, now we're lined up." After ten seconds, she added, "I don't think this is working. Shall we move on to step 2?"

Tempest jerkily shook her head, and Button relayed the 'no' to Sweetie. Tempest managed to grunt out, "I'm feeling… different." An intense grimace crossed her face, then she relaxed.

Sweetie simultaneously blinked, and after a few seconds commented, "As far as I can tell, the spell's gone from me."

Tempest took a few deep breaths, "Yes. Quite."

Sweetie sighed and looked to Button. "I think it's over. For me, at least. Take a few days to be sure."

Button shook his head. "That… that was so underwhelming that I can't even feel jealous. Did you even feel it?"

Sweetie shrugged. "She barely touched me. Didn't even enter, just got lined up and that was enough."

Tempest nodded. "Good!"

Sweetie took the quill and went to the page, and wrote under the bottom line: "Tempest - Sweetie - 1st test sufficient. Start: 6:49. End: 6:50." She sighed. "All right. How about we drop by the boutique? Rarity might be wondering what happened to me."

Author's Note

Apparent grammar error is in her text, not mine. What could she have been about to say, and why did she stop?

By the way,
subject 1 = Rumble
subject 2 = Sweetie Belle
subject 3 = Luna
subject 4 = Night Light
subject 5 = Celestia
subject 6 = Twilight Velvet
subjects 7 & 8 = Twilight Sparkle, Tempest Shadow

Specula

Twilight stepped out of the tunnel between the Crystal Empire and its train station, and unexpectedly found Cadence waiting for her. Cadence stepped up to her and asked, "What was so urgent that you hopped on the overnight train from Manehattan as it passed through Ponyville at 2 AM, but not so urgent that you would use the gateway?"

To avoid meeting you, frankly. But that's obvious enough. Let's get to the heart of it. "When you brought Flurry to me, just what were you doing? You had some… 'special' concern beyond simply what she was asking about, didn't you?"

Cadence swallowed, recognizing the validity of the accusation. After a deep breath, she explained, "There was a miasma around the Crystal Empire and she needed to get out of it."

"Well, she brought it with her and spread it to Ponyville."

"You didn't mention that when you visited a few days ago."

"I didn't know as much about it then. By comparing notes with somepony who dealt with it up here, I figured out what was going on down there was not normal. Did it at least get weaker here since her visit?" When Cadence nodded, Twilight added, "Flurry did still seem somewhat affected when I was here. Or perhaps it's her personality coming out, if she's simply a reincarnation of princess Skyla."

Cadence flared everything - eyes, wings, nostrils, and pulled out a pretty decent Royal ~~Canterlot~~ Crystal Empire Voice - "No! She is not, and she isn't going to be, either!"

Twilight thought for a moment, then mused out loud, "'Isn't going to be'? So, by 'miasma' do you mean the spirit of Skyla, that was trying to possess Flurry Heart, and you were trying to confuse it by taking Flurry away from it. It came to Ponyville, and has set up residence? Just how was that okay to not mention?"

"I broke it into hundreds of parts. Attached to an adult, they would barely do anything. I thought she would be absorbed into the populace as a few fragments of memory or inclination, that would fade away."

"That… isn't how it worked out."

"So I see."

"Why didn't you tell me? I could have put a ward around Flurry, or done something!"

Cadence fretted, but couldn't say.

Twilight guessed, "If I knew, I would be resisting. I wouldn't be absorbing it. It'd flow right back out and into Flurry, and I'm sure you, of all ponies, warded her already. But I personally didn't need to absorb it, did I? It could have been spread around town." I'm probably still missing something about that, but she can't share it, for whatever reason? Moving on. "Okay. Well, I think this is not a satisfactory solution in the long term. So maybe I should get on with the thing I came up to do, aside from meet you: meet one of Skyla's associates. What you said changes things, but maybe in a useful way."

Cadence boggled. "Useful? To have a malevolent spirit trying to possess ponies?"

"Not exactly. It's not malevolent, it's just trying to be reborn. It wants to be whole. How did you split it up?"

Cadence showed her the spell, holding it almost-cast. Twilight examined it for several minutes, commenting, "Interesting design. Been thinking how to fight Sombra? Or perhaps it's more against the Mycophantom? Creates temporary disruptions as it cuts, to prevent reintegration before the parts are even separated… and when its power level increases, that burns it again. Hmm. This can't be the main mechanism of suspension of effect, or Celestia would have had a recurrence on the same schedule as anypony else."

Cadence snapped in alarm. "Celestia?"

"Yes. It kind of got all over the place. So, we need to gather it back together."

"And then what, who will it take over? We can't just offer anypony up to it!"

"Perhaps it will move into my unborn foal."

Cadence gasped. "You're having a foal?"

"Not yet. If bearing her myself will get Skyla out of the ether and off of Flurry's back, and moreover alive and well again, I'll do it. Or some other volunteer."

Cadence considered. "I suspect that's what she was trying to do with Flurry Heart, but failed for some reason. If you can get it to stick… then we do have an option other than disperse it, after all."

After a few seconds of no further comments, Twilight asked, "By some strange chance, do you happen to know a crystal mare named Specula?"

Cadence cocked her head. "I know of a telescope store with that name on it. Shall we head over? Why are you interested in her?"

As they left the tunnel area and headed out into the not-yet-busy city, in the direction of the store she remembered, Twilight explained, "She knew Skyla and… worked with her against Sombra. She may remember something useful."

"The crystal ponies have never been able to remember anything useful."

"They remember their professions. I'm hoping to access something similar."

After a few minutes, they came to The Score Mark and Specula Glass and Lens Shop. It was not yet open, but the home above showed signs of life, so they went around to the back and Twilight knocked.

Twilight immediately recognized Specula from the vision when she opened the door. She blinked. "Princesses! To what do I owe the honor?"

Twilight swallowed. "I have need of a skill you may have. I do not suppose that you remember anything from… before. Do you?"

Specula shook her head. "I woke up and knew my name and how to make telescopes and binoculars. I had to deduce who my husband and foal were from where we were and how I felt about them."

Twilight nodded. "If you remember skills… perhaps there is a skill you had that I could definitely use. Imagine with me, please: you are in princess Skyla's resistance army, and you have managed to capture your father, who was held by Sombra. How do you free him?"

Specula boggled. "I was in a resistance army?"

Twilight nodded.

Specula looked down. "We lost."

"Not right away. You were able to fight. And you were able to free ponies from Sombra. So, think. Maybe don't try to visualize it. Just think of it as a problem to solve. You have a pony who is trying to free her father from Sombra's control. How do you do this?"

Specula frowned, and stared at the wall. She began to blush, and then swallowed. "Er. I haven't the foggiest idea. Sorry!"

Twilight laughed. "If you're blushing, then I think you know." Spying a pony walking by, she asked, "May we come inside?"

Specula raised a hoof to her face and held it for five seconds. Lowering her hoof, she frowned and said, "I don't know enough to be useful. I have a dim expectation of taking notes while a pony was meditating, dictating instructions. So I'd suggest that." A deep breath. "I, ah, have the odd feeling that it involved a gesture like this:" She sat on her haunches and pressed her forehooves together in front of her teats, then raised them high, then separated them and drew them down wide, then together again back where they started.

Twilight took a deep breath and nodded. "Thank you."

Specula frowned at her hooves. "This… I think it wasn't good. It was what we did, but I don't think we should have." After a few seconds, she added, "I don't have anything else."

Twilight nodded. "Thank you. If you do remember anything else, please convey it to Princess Cadence, and she'll forward it to me immediately." She backed away, and Specula re-closed the door.

Cadence gave her a serious look. "What's your plan?"

"Hopefully, enough of Skyla is in me that I can meditate and figure out what to do. It's certainly a big lead."

"Would you like to go to the palace to use the gate back to Ponyville?"

"No. I think a train ride would be good for meditation. Better than Ponyville. And I think I should avoid Flurry for now."

Cadence nodded. They hugged, and Twilight walked back to the train platform before heading up. She sat down and remembered what she'd read about meditation, and what Zecora had taught her. She'd barely ever attempted it, but she recalled the principles.

Emptying her mind… focus on something in her… quell distracting thoughts. Notice a distraction, discount its importance.

She was looking for instructions… but perhaps she couldn't receive them if she was looking for them?

"Ah, princess Twilight!"

Her eyes jerked open and she found Flim. There went her meditative mood. "What're you doing here?"

She figured out what it must have been just before he replied, "Well, we sold our prototype to a customer. But we underestimated the difficulty of three day delivery, so I'm here to stall for time. On top of that, we are having a hard time tracking this customer down. She's… well, that brings me to why I contacted you. I think she is a criminal."

Twilight closed her eyes and thought about how to handle it. "What happened?"

"She came in, acted very tough, and then like she might invest. Asked some questions about skirting the rules. We declined to entertain such notions, of course."

"Naturally."

"She didn't quite lean on us to pay protection money, but she definitely tried to be intimidating and push us into an exploitable position. She went by the name Bearytwist."

Twilight sighed. "Did she threaten you?"

"Not exactly."

"Did she actually break any laws?"

"No, but I really don't feel comfortable with the possibility that she or the organization she represents…" He trailed off, seeing her expression. He seemed about to ask something, then stopped.

Twilight sighed and explained. "She was an off-duty officer I sent to check on you. Not for criminality, but to see if I'd infected you with something. We have found that it is not contagious. While she visited… she decided to screw around with you."

Flim coughed and muttered, "You could say that, yes…"

"When she described what she'd done, I was not too pleased."

Flim took a deep breath. "I see. Then do you happen to know where we can deliver it? We only just found out that 'Bearytwist, the Crystal Empire', is not a valid address."

"Then address it to her, care of Commander Tempest Shadow, of the Arctic Rangers. I can ensure it is properly routed from there."

"Thank you." Flim began to turn, then stopped. "Your highness?"

Twilight forced a smile. "Yes, Flim?"

"Really, thank you. I… I think I have an idea of how to repay you in a way for what you've done for us. Not only giving us critical advice, but you also sent us our biggest customer in some time."

Twilight nodded hesitantly.

"It's how to spot a con."

"Please, I can spot a con. I spotted you."

"We were purveyors of at-times substandard goods, which is entirely different. Everypony knows to be skeptical of salesponies. A con artist doesn't come selling something. They seek to maneuver you, misleading you into feeling the wrong things so you let down your guard. And in many cons, the one who misleads is not the one who's taking your money. So look out for when somepony says or does something that reveals an opportunity or changes what you want, especially if it's quickly, be it a thing that suddenly seems…" Flim trailed off as he saw that Twilight had jerked back as if stung.

Changes what I want quickly.

"Your highness?"

"I… if you… What are some general ways of avoiding a con?"

Flim sat back. "Well, there's the saying 'you can't con an honest pony', which isn't true, but it definitely limits their options and changes their approach. Rather than dangling a quick bit in front of you, they have to appeal to wanting to save somepony, say." He stopped as she gulped visibly, then went on. "When you're checking things that seem suspicious, make sure you're not just asking somepony who's in on it, or been thoroughly fooled already. Flam saved us from being conned twice that way. Go through official channels if you can. Look up their business in the town hall."

Twilight waited expectantly, then as he took his time, gestured to urge him on.

After a few seconds, he chuckled. "Patience. I mean, don't rush into things. If somepony is rushing you, refuse to go along."

Twilight gulped. I've felt so rushed lately. I can explain it rationally, but I have to remember to take the time to think. "It could be on the up and up, but it's hard to tell. I… may… be being scammed by a thousand year old ghost?"

He cocked an eyebrow. "That's a new one. All right, princess. Lay it on me and we'll see what we can figure out."

Twilight closed her eyes and thought. I still can't really trust him. But what would he do with this information? Nopony would believe him. "I will think about it."

"Fair enough. Just explaining it to somepony else should help. It doesn't need to be me."

He's almost certainly not in on it. We went to him in an unpredictable way. So at least there's that.

Twilight was still mired in indecision when Flim asked, "A ghost, though? I thought those weren't real."

"Sombra did magical research into it, and made one. A few." Her and himself, at least. Others? What if this isn't Skyla herself? What if it isn't even a ghost? Why was I so sure there would be a ghost, anyway? Oh, right, the memory potion. So I do expect there ought to be one…

Twilight got up. "I… I need to go to think. And ask some questions. And go home and sleep."

"Before you go… there is one other thing I'd like for you to look out for."

"Oh?"

"A popular rumor is that the reason Princesses Celestia and Luna stepped down and then back up is… blackmail." Twilight laughed, but he pressed on. "Enough ponies had their dirty laundry that they had too many ponies they couldn't bring to justice. So they quit and brought on a fresh new face. Once they were just private citizens, they could hunt down their blackmailers and force them to destroy the evidence because now Equestria didn't depend on their being respected. After three years, they'd finished that and came back and requested the rotation you have now."

Twilight rejoined, "Orrrr they were just really tired of being in charge all the time and thought it was time to retire, but that was too much free time and I was happy for the help. You know, just because it's the official line doesn't mean it's not true."

"Fine. Doesn't change the advice - make sure that if anypony reveals what you've done in private, they look much, much worse than you do."

That goes against the 'fuck my whole family' plan.

Twilight said, emphatically, "Thank you. Now, I will be going." Screw it, I'm taking the portal back. I need sleep. And to hoof off.

Breakfast

Twilight shambled into the dining room carrying a plate of toast.

"Good morning. Though your appearance suggests you would not agree."

Twilight looked up and found Starswirl was the speaker; he and Rockhoof were leaning back in their seats, having finished eating. Mistmane was still picking at some flowers. Spike was halfway through eating his pancakes, at a fairly restrained pace of eating, especially for him.

Twilight plopped down into the seat two away from Starswirl, then addressed the table. "Have you spoken with Flurry Heart in the past half year or so?"

As Mistmane and Rockhoof shook their heads, Spike nodded. "Yeah, she got me too. Rarity told me about it."

Starswirl blinked. "Yes! Those results I mentioned to you the day before yesterday. It was most peculiar." Twilight perked up at that as she spread jam on her toast. "Immediately after I spoke with her, I had a number of insights into crystals and how to modify them. I wrote down a dozen half-finished ideas in a day. And some that weren't so half-finished."

"When was that?" Twilight took a bite.

"Shortly after Hearth's Warming."

Twilight hummed as she chewed. Upon swallowing, she said, "So, right before her visit here. Have you had any other intrusive thoughts besides those?"

Starswirl shrugged. "My mental ward has been more active than usual."

The toast dropped. "You have a mental ward?"

"Yes? It was only prudent for when we faced the sirens. Otherwise they would have seduced us just as easily as the townsponies."

Twilight stood up. "Teach me. But first, just put it on me."

Starswirl closed his eyes. "Give me a minute. I only cast it once, twelve years ago by my memory, and keeping it going is not at all the same as casting it."

After twenty seconds, he stood, faced her, lit his horn, and immediately stopped. "You already have it on, princess! Let's see… I'm node 1, the other pillars 2 through 6… and they… ah! It transmitted from us to the tree, and from it to you and the other elements, back to the tree, and presumably from there to the students, though I would need to examine one to be sure."

Twilight sighed. "Oh."

"What sort of mental effect do you fear?"

"After I spoke with Flurry Heart, I, and most everyone else, didn't get spell ideas. I got other sorts of ideas. Odd, unfamiliar ideas. So, it appears that Sombra made princess Skyla immortal as a practice run for himself, then killed her in various escalating ways. Her ghost is trying to come back, and princess Cadence fended it off from possessing Flurry Heart, and its bits and pieces got attached onto various ponies who spoke with her. Some got on me."

While the four were considering this, she considered. "Also, do any of you recognize this gesture?" Twilight pressed her forehooves together in front of her teats, then brought them up high, then spread them and brought them back to the starting point.

Rockhoof immediately pointed and jiggled his hoof. "That was that anarchist cult, wasn't it?"

Mistmane nodded. "Fertility, too."

Apple Bloom and Applejack trotted in as Twilight finished, "Skyla apparently had her forces perform this gesture. I wonder if she joined that cult. Yes, Apple… Bloom?" She had at the last moment noticed that Apple Bloom was taking the lead.

Apple Bloom hesitantly replied, "Twilight, we need your help."

Twilight took a deep breath while considering how to word it. "Is it that thing that's been going around?"

Apple Bloom shook her head, then shrugged. "Related, but not exactly."

Applejack came up close and said, "I, and I think the rest of us until this thing came up, were somehow kept from ever thinking about… that topic."

Twilight backed away from the table and thought back. Yes, that sounds right. I actively avoided learning about something! That doesn't sound like me. She narrowed her eyes on Starswirl. "Could your mental ward have interfered with natural libido?"

Starswirl perked an eyebrow. "I'm not familiar with that word. It sounds like it might be related to…"

Irate, she clarified, "Is the reason I never wanted dick for the first twenty five years of my life because of your anti-siren protection?"

"What's 'dick'?"

Rockhoof supplied, "Penis. And no, it doesn't have that effect on us."

Apple Bloom joked, "So, you still want dick?"

Rockhoof didn't take it as a joke. "I still want to be with ponies a way their dicks and cunts matter, yes. I don't know about Starswirl or Somnambula, but I've noticed the others of us noticing ponies that way, too."

Twilight, though, suddenly realized something else. "It gave you ideas about crystals and you didn't get any weird ideas. For us, it mostly gave us weird ideas and not so many skills, but that's assuming the spells I was obsessively thinking about didn't came from that too. Makes sense it would have since usually five hours of distracted thinking is not enough to create a functioning transformation like that, even a buggy one. I wonder, though, if we do have the ward up, why it affected us differently?"

Starswirl concentrated. "It appears that… though the mental domination facet of the ward holds firm, your subversion facet was completely destroyed long ago."

Twilight thought back. "Taking things in order… probably Discord broke through. Can you reassemble it?"

"Not without taking the whole spell down and recasting. And that seems unwise under the circumstances."

Twilight sighed. "Quite." After straightening, she told Apple Bloom, "Can you ask Zecora to come here around three in the afternoon? I might need some more vision potion and maybe an alteration to it for later, and I'd like everypony in for a bit of a strategy session afterwards." Her gaze fell on Applejack. "So, you're still blocked from ever thinking about sex?" She nodded. "So it came from somewhere else. Anypony know where Starlight is?"

Spike grimly said, "In her room, alternating extremely excited esoteric exegeses, and athletic sex. All night. While I'm on a kiss moratorium, in the next room over."

"Can you go ask her if she can design a spell to make certain ponies not think about sex that will last for years?"

Starswirl interjected, "I know such a spell. I am sure miss Glimmer could cast it. Are you suggesting that we add this to her tasks?" Rockhoof and Mistmane shared a confused glance.

Twilight nodded. "Yes. And, uh, I can think of another purpose she would have for that spell…" Making Sugar Belle safe from New Leaf since past-him is going to be raising her from just after he got his young daughter pregnant.

Spike got up. "So, should I go get…" Starlight and New Leaf walked in. "… never mind!"

Starlight observed, "I heard you mentioning me, mister Swirl."

Twilight asked Starlight, "Ever since Flurry Heart visited… I remember you said she said something to you that got you ruminating on a particular topic. It appears she had an ancient ghost bothering her, and that was possibly a fragment of the ghost flaking off onto you. Did it also give you the knowledge of any spells?"

Starlight blinked a few times. "An ancient ghost may have given me knowledge? Well, some ideas I've had could have have come from that. Ideas pointing towards some freaky stuff with embryos. Tribe selection! Chimeras to order! Fake alicorns! But maybe that was just after my mind was put on the track of fertility magic and my foal-age spell."

Starswirl jerked to his feet. "You have age-altering magic?"

"It's fake, relax. Polymorphs your shape using the historic resonance, but it's temporary and doesn't give you the health of youth even temporarily."

Starswirl frowned. "May I see it?"

Starlight cast it on him.

Rockhoof coughed. "Uh, are you Stygian's father?"

Spike offered, "More than that. He bonked his own genderswapped mirror universe double."

Starlight counteroffered, "Nah. Just cloned himself."

Starswirl, having been focused on the magic, finally registered what they were saying. "Perhaps closer to that than you think. After the unification, though the old stigma on interbreeding was inverted to the point that families which were pure faced opprobium, we still needed to maintain our primo-stemmaturgical lines in order to be able to raise and lower the sun and moon. So, we developed a number of spells for manipulating genetics, though we did not know the underlying mechanism at the time as you do now. Mixed parents could be guaranteed to produce a foal of one tribe or the other, for instance, though that was found to interfere with any stemmmaturgy. We tried outright cloning, of course, when I was a young stallion. I believe there are… were… a few of my clones running around, and Stygian may be one of the later ones. And like Stygian, they were magically nothing special. It appears that I claimed all of the magic reserved for my exact genotype, so any later clones would not be able to claim it."

Spike goggled. "That's a thing?"

"It normally doesn't come up because every natural genotype is different, and twins… I don't know how that works, but they avoid this issue. It just means exact clones aren't profitable to make, even by roundabout means, such as forcing meiosis to produce the same splits as it did for one child, and selecting the same halves again."

Rockhoof snorted. "Unlike you, I haven't been studying the latest sciences. Does all this mean, when your family tree came to more resemble a net, that wasn't a problem? You had magic to keep it under control?"

"I hadn't mentioned the spells for that, but in principle, yes. But all of that made unconventional arrangements much more… speakable. Which led to a variety of social ills. Removing one harm from incest opened up all the others. Much like how we had to ban even the forms of necromancy that aren't intrinsically evil."

Starlight asked, "I feel like I have these spells on the tip of my horn but I can't quite cast them. Can you write them down for me, please? Maybe then it'll stop bugging me."

After a quiet minute of Starswirl writing, New Leaf offered Mistmane, "Madam, would you like us to witness you in your youth?"

Mistmane replied, "I'm not old; I ritually sacrificed my beauty, and have had to work with stateliness ever since. I am curious what that spell would do to me, though."

New Leaf cast it on her, and she turned into a little filly. A wrinkled mess of a little filly.

Everypony, now seeing her, burst out laughing. Twilight picked her head up and asked, "What? What was it? Oh, hi, Stygian. We were just talking about y… oh." The laughter intensified, and she got up to slink off to bed.

After they released the age spells, Starlight said, "So, anyway, I guess we're off to breakfast with Derpy and family. Have a nice day, all."

~~~~

Sparkler answered the door and smiled. "Hi, grandpa." The odor of muffins intensified. New Leaf gave a tiny hug before moving in.

Derpy bent over and drew a batch of muffins from the oven. New Leaf, putting his scarf on the rack, completely missed that she flagged and winked as she did. Starlight mostly missed it, and though she caught a brief eyeful, it did not seem extraordinary. Sparkler, on the other hoof, had caught the whole thing and was floored. That did not seem like an accident. If it was just a twitch, a very odd one. Is Mom into Starlight?

"Watch it, mommy, you're going to get hair on the muffins!" Dinky exclaimed.

Derpy spun around and the muffin tray nearly went flying. While she caught herself and kept the tray under control, she backed up and bumped the oven door shut, and it swung up and caught the top, fleshy part of her tail in its side.

She emitted a sharp howl of pain; Starlight dashed alongside, already teleporting some snow in from the pile outside. She dumped it onto Derpy's tail, wrapping the affected extremity. "Are you all right?"

Derpy swallowed. "Been better. Ow."

"All right, or head to the doctor?"

"All right. It wasn't the really hot part of the door. Thanks for the ice, though."

Starlight sat next to Derpy where she was lying supine, held the snow in place, and fed her muffins.

Sparkler sat down and spoke to New Leaf, "So… have a muffin and tell the tale?" She began cutting a muffin into octants, buttering, and as she did, stared at her (grand)father expectantly.

The only untaken full-size seat not inconveniently up right next to the two mares on the floor was across the table from them, where he could only see the top of Starlight's head. So he sat down and tipped the chair back a little - no, he couldn't quite go far enough to be able to make eye contact with his older daughter. He came back forward to a moderate tilt and focused on Sparkler. "Where to start, where to start. Derpy's mother. We'd… worked together briefly. Long enough to get to know each other, and well enough to get Ditzy on the way. We were made for each other. But her family didn't approve of her work, so they shipped her off to the weather factory. In defiance, she named her daughter Ditzy Doo, taking on the Doo name."

"What was her work, that they didn't like?"

"… actress."

From his hesitation, Starlight (correctly) imagined that she was in porn, and between that and Derpy's splayed out condition in front of her, her imagination began to play.

Sparkler asked, "Were you an actor, or how did you work with her?"

"Sometimes I acted, sometimes I was… ah, in the crew. It wasn't my talent, but I enjoyed it. I enjoyed her."

Dinky scowled. "Mom? Your family was mean."

Derpy pointedly didn't object to that.

Rinky (for that was how he was thinking of himself again) shrugged. "A bit, but I can really see their point of view. Anyway, fast-forward a few years and your mother's condition had advanced and it wasn't safe for her to be in Cloudsdale anymore - not until she had some physical therapy. So they came back to Ponyville, I found out I had a daughter, we got married."

Sparkler blinked. "You didn't even know?"

Rinky shook his head. "Obviously mine, though."

"Well, yeah. Wait, what did grandma look like?"

"A lot like you. Very much your grandmother's granddaughter. Maybe it's as if you, Starlight, Sugar Belle, and Princess Twilight had a pegasus daughter between them, somehow, it'd be your grandmother."

Sparkler grimaced. "Thanks for that image."

Starlight didn't mind that image.

Dinky suddenly asked, "Wait, I thought you had to be married to have a kid. How did you make mommy if you weren't married?"

Rinky reached across the table and took her hoof in his. "Dinky, getting married is a good idea before you have a foal. It signifies your commitment to the family you are forming. It lets everypony else know that you are serious. It legally binds you together so neither of you can just leave without going to some trouble. It also gives some legal privileges. Many ponies get upset with ponies who have children without getting married. I strongly suggest you get married before having a foal. But it has nothing to do with the actual process."

"What's that, then?"

Rinky swallowed and released her hoof. "I think your mother would like to be the one who tells you that, mare to mare, in private. Isn't that right, Muffin?"

Derpy replied between bites of muffin, still supine on the floor, "Yes." Starlight definitely didn't miss it when her pussy winked that time.

"So anyway, here I was, raising your mother with her mother. Her family hated me. Said I was a disgrace, kept calling your mother by her birth name instead of the name she took for herself. Say… what were you told her name was?"

Sparkler said, "Mom didn't really use her name; she called her 'mama'. But her uncle Tinglespark said she was Mist Hooves."

"Yeah, she hated that name. How's Tinglespark doing?"

"Dead. As are his parents. There was an epidemic in 998."

"Oh. I wondered why I didn't have a confrontation with them already. That answers that. I guess I'm sorry to hear it."

"Thunderlane's fine, and they had another son before passing."

"Yes, I saw. And Thunderlane's hanging out with that bombshell of a mare."

Dinky put in, "She's not a bombshell, she's really…"

Sparkler cut her off. "Bombshell is good. So pretty it knocks stallions out. So, dad, I…"

Derpy choked on her muffin; Rinky cried out, "What did you say?"

Derpy's convulsion made her barrel shift so Starlight's hoof, holding the ice to the base of her tail, grazed against her vulva. They shared an embarrassed glance and Starlight shifted her hoof back slightly.

Sparkler frowned at his extreme reaction. "Oh. I meant, grandpa. You seem too young to be a grandpa."

Rinky said, "Having been petrified for a decade and having been rather young when your mother was born would do that, I suppose. But I am your grandfather."

Sparkler nodded. "Sorry. So, what was grandma's name?"

"Skinema", Rinky Doo said.

"Wait, was she a movie actress?"

Rinky froze. "Er… why do you say that?"

Sparkler cocked an eyebrow. "Because her name has 'cinema' in it?"

"Well, she wanted to be a movie actress. Never made it, though. When she came back to Ponyville, she was taking care of your mother full-time until she got ill herself. We lived off my work as the town's librarian and mage."

"Wait, you were the librarian? Mom never said she grew up in the Golden Oak Library!"

Rinky laughed. "Naw, it was a library, not a house. We did spend a lot of time there, though."

Derpy said, "When things were slow, he'd turn into a little colt and play with me among the stacks."

Rinky was confused by her nonchalance about what led to her impregnation. I didn't realize at the time that a playmate wasn't what she needed. I didn't realize that I was giving her a crush on me… does she still have it to some extent? That would complicate things. Maybe that's why she's so eager to forgive. "What happened to it, by the way? One of the more distinctive landmarks in town and it's just gone."

"Tirek blew it up."

Rinky had heard about the elements and some of their feats from Starlight, but she hadn't mentioned that detail. He sighed wistfully. For all that we didn't live there, that was where your mother and you were conceived, kiddo. But I'm getting ahead of - and behind, I guess, in the case of your mother - myself.

Meanwhile, Starlight's imagination had settled upon turning herself, Derpy, and her daughters into little fillies, and New Leaf tossing out his reformation and fucking all four of them in succession while they hugged and kissed each other.

"And why were you…" Sparkler's mind flashed back to her mother's anatomical reaction to his arrival, then his strong reaction to her calling him 'Dad'. She realized she had to finish the question some way even if it wasn't where she'd been going at first, and said, "…tossed out of town?", understating what had occurred considerably.

Rinky gave her a long glance, but answered, "Like she implied before, when your grandmother died, her family accused me of killing her so I could have your mother all to myself. The mayor said it was beyond ridiculous (and it was), so I wasn't charged. But I'd… worn out my welcome and generally… made myself untrusted in other ways, so nopony stopped them from taking matters into their own hooves when the mayor was out of town for a day."

Dinky, asking the important questions, said, "You can turn into a colt? Show me!"

Rinky coughed. "Well, it has some negative side-effects like reducing self-control, which is one of the main things that got me into trouble…"

Derpy said, "Go ahead. I… don't mind."

Starlight stared down at her in shock, this time not missing her wink at all. Am I not the only one imagining New Leaf fucking every mare in the room?

Rinky considered for several seconds, then reduced his age to the same as Dinky. The two girls awwwed, and he blushed. Then he slipped his head under the table and looked at Derpy and Starlight. "Hey you two. What you got going on down there?"

Starlight coughed sternly. "New Leaf…"

Sparkler's doubts collapsed, and she slowly began crying. So slowly that nopony else noticed before she covered it up by going to the stove to fry some onions as a supplement to their muffins. She heard Starlight extract a promise of total secrecy of what she was going to say, and managed to agree. She heard that Starlight was planning to use time travel to go back and save the Apples and New Leaf, and how Starswirl had validated the method. But she couldn't get over that she was the product of incest, that her mother still was attracted to her own father, and that Starlight was really planning on sending her back in time where she knew he would be raising another little filly… though… if they knew that had worked out, then it was merely an opportunity for him to prove that he was reformed. Which her mother was not helping, flirting, skirting that line of deniability. Her mother, who had later gone on to seek out and impregnate herself with a colt.

Sparkler left without a word and lay down.

Derpy came in a minute later and sat next to her. After another half minute, she said, "I meant to tell you this morning, but I guess you figured it out."

Sparkler nodded.

"I… he could have stopped me. He could have ended the spell and stopped me. But until he did, I was bigger and stronger. I thought I was in control. But I don't think either of us was."

Sparkler swallowed. Derpy almost said more, but didn't. They listened as Starlight and New Leaf figured it was time to go, and Dinky said they could. They called their farewells through the door.

Planning

Author's Note

I had this written, but it was tough to edit. Don't worry if you follow the math as well as Rainbow Dash - it's there for anyone who wants to treat it as a puzzle. If you're willing to just accept that what in the end works ought to work and that nothing far short of it would, you don't need to pay THAT close attention.

Planning

Twilight slept. Partway through a dream about a book where the binding was a möbius strip so there was not only no cover but no back either, which made it even harder than usual to put down, she remembered she was supposed to be meditating.

So she was meditating. Sooo meditative, nothing going on in that mind at all. Get rid of the stupidly designed ludicrously long book, get rid of the library, get rid of the awareness of emptiness.

There was the ghost. It couldn't have possessed Flurry anyway, because it was locked away by Sombra. Only Cadence's attack on it had allowed any part of it to break free and influence ponies. The lock was very weird. What kind of key do you take, lock?

I take ritual. Sex. Perverse.

How much perversion do you need? If you're the lock, have we been feeling you, not Skyla, this whole time?

It gave her the spiritual equivalent of a befuddled look as if Twilight already ought to know all of this. This gradually solidified.

Do what you know you must.

You're not alive, not thinking, you're just a lock. But yes, in a way, I do, don't I? I need to get more information.

~~~~

When Twilight woke up, she remembered this vividly. Looks like I was on the right track with wanting that second memory potion!

She flipped out of bed, then bounded downstairs to get into motion. As she was just about to head out the door, she spied the familiar erlenmare flask left waiting for her; a scroll lay next to it. A little low-security, but I suppose it's not like anypony else could use it or even get into trouble with it even if they were silly enough to drink things unchecked. She opened the scroll and instead of a note from Zecora, found it was a copy for her of the spells Starswirl had transcribed for Starlight. Twilight set it aside and zeroed in on the potion. A sniff… yes, it was the same as before.

She hefted it up, and focused her alicorn energy into it. Her funneling energy into it did not go as smoothly as either of the first two times. Must be just woken up, or maybe still exhausted, or maybe the energy cost increases as I get to more and more memories? If so, this had better be enough to figure it out! The potion eventually changed color, and she immediately chugged it.

She was in a dimly lit catacomb, watching Sombra inscribe a magic circle around Skyla, who was bound. He was carving it in stiff clay with a stone knife Twilight guessed was an athame. He kept chuckling. He glanced up to a chalkboard, and moved on to the next section. Twilight walked over to the chalkboard and examined it.

The chalkboard was hazy. What was written on it kept shifting. Skyla probably didn't get a good enough look at it to remember. And I'm probably filling in details where she couldn't. Now that I think about it, this particular chalkboard is from Celestia's school, and I don't think she looted it from the Crystal Empire a thousand years ago. I should get back closer to Skyla to keep that from happening.

As she came back alongside the bound, ringed, and gagged alicorn, Sombra finished. "Finally. Do you know what I've been building here?"

Skyla shook her head.

"A magical machine to keep you alive."

Skyla's skepticism was obvious.

"I would like to live forever. But it is very difficult to test this without putting myself at risk of dying, isn't it? And none of my other prisoners are high-powered enough for this to work. So it's you. I do have to thank you for coming here after all, it seems."

There was a blur of motion as he got back to work and the memory fast-forwarded. It slowed as he got back up and addressed her. "Now… so long as your body remains, you can get back into it. It's your body, after all. If there is no body, then how do you find where to be? That is the hard part. For now, and for you, the best solution I can see is a ritual. You certainly love your rituals, don't you? Great or small, many little perverted ponies, or just a few very perverted, very indiscreet ponies."

Skyla shook her head urgently.

"But yes, you can't take that back. It's who you are now." There was a brief flash of the black/purple eye wisps that he later had, and Twilight realized he hadn't had them up to that point.

"So if you ever want to come back, that is the beacon that will work. And how convenient for me as well! I will get an impression to determine just what to look for…" He leaned forward and touched his horn to hers. Twilight realized she had to gain access, and jammed her horn in the gap and filled it with blank magic. Is this going to work? Can I really get an imprint off of a memory?

The memory of the blast of magic passed through her field. Though it did not have a direct effect on her magic, she could feel it, and shaped her own field to match how it would have been affected. She solidified her field just before the vision could end.

~~~~

"With that indirect impression of the lock, I was able to locate the actual lock and get a proper impression. It is the reification of this formula." Twilight pushed a sheet of paper to the middle of the map table. She looked around the table starting at her left - Tempest, Starlight, the bearers on their thrones with the crusaders and the crusaders' boyfriends in between, Starswirl, and Spike. She did not glance behind her right side to princesses Celestia and Luna, or behind to her left, to her parents.

Dash hovered for a moment to take a look at the formula. "Is it just me, or is this long, even for you?"

Twilight shook her head. "This is absurdly long. Each part corresponds to one of the specific fetishes that we've picked up from her. For instance, there being more witnesses to an act gives a bonus." She highlighted a section. "That lines up well with what you were imagining, and what Scootaloo has reported to have started imagining after you shared your kiss, and a number of others as well." She glanced to Rarity and Pinkie.

Fluttershy gulped. "Are we going to have to do everything in there?"

"No, not all. That would be impossible. The formula is not only huge; parts of it are a total mess. There are terms that are there, but they'll never amount to anything, like a fixed plus one point if there is at least one alicorn participating. There are factors of one, adding things that are subtracted back off. There are unachievable thresholds that look like accidents, like requiring more than the factorial of the factorial of six ponies for a particular size bonus, or requiring that the number of ponies in a daisy chain be exactly the square root of seven in order to get another bonus. So no, we can't do it all, let alone need to.

"But it will be a lot easier if we do at least most of the bonuses that are possible. For instance, from what you were imagining, impregnation gets a high base score, and there is a modest bonus for married ponies doing things with ponies not their spouse, but we can easily do without that."

Starlight asked, "What is the formula's overall shape? Or is it too much of a mess? I mean, you've only had a few hours to look at it…"

"It's not that bad, actually. The overall structure is simple, and the parts that don't do anything are mostly identifiable from a cursory inspection. So, you have an orgy. At it, each attendee gets a score based on some things they do and attributes they have. Like, ponies with two sets of genitals, or urinating on or into somepony, or doing something for the first time, or just being married, or wearing semen for an extended period, or having a large number of partners. That won't add up to much unless there are a lot of attendees. Second, each act gets a score, but for each pair of participants, only their highest-scoring act gets counted. So if you have four ponies and they each do all three of the others, we score six times. Third, each contiguous cluster of ponies all doing things with each other gets a score based on the network size and shape, but each category of network only contributes its best score. You add all of those scores up from all three categories, then multiply it all with the sum of the largest cluster score and the largest act scores for each act category - this can 'see' acts that weren't the best for that pairing. This has to exceed a threshold of a million points."

"Can you give some examples?"

"A simple case, yes. It isn't going to be very efficient. Ponies come into a room and all watch each other as they do random sexy stuff with one partner. No clusters… four for observers times the sum of one for kiss plus one for humping or toys plus two for oral plus three for vaginal plus three for anal plus five for impregnation… is sixty… it looks like we'd get around seven hundred points per act, so around fourteen hundred pairs of ponies would have to participate."

Rarity spat, "Almost three thousand ponies?"

"Only if every pony does one other. If they all do all of the others, it comes out much less. If we keep the observers, it's pretty much the square root of that, which is around fifty."

Celestia put in, "That seems doable, though not without consequence."

Button noted, "I don't feel bad saying I don't think I have the stamina to fuck fifty ponies in one session."

Twilight nodded. "We can do better than that. One of the main strategies is improving the multiplier at the end with the 'best' acts. In other words, have a small number of very perverted acts."

Rainbow Dash asked, "What's the most perverted thing you can do?"

"Well, if when I am one hundred forty years old or so, I come back in time, impregnate my younger self then commit suicide and get a noticeable chunk of my body eaten by participants, with ten thousand witnesses, that would completely do it right there. Ritual complete. If I could somehow arrange that future me didn't consent to this, we could get away with just a hundred witnesses. Or we could send my father, mother, or brother back in time when they are a hundred forty and do the same thing."

Night Light coughed. "I would appreciate not being murdered, even at a hundred forty."

Luna just said, "And I am glad to have confirmed that my abrupt obsession with death in sex is exogenous."

Twilight laughed. "So yes, we'll want to do without the factor of 4 from death and cannibalism, and I don't see how to arrange lack of consent, but if I send you back in time to score with me in every category, that's a very large bonus that might be enough that we don't need to bring in anyone not in this room."

Starlight followed up, "So, the perversions that help multiply everything are incest, death, cannibalism, witnesses, lack of consent, and age difference? The time travel is just to get that age difference?"

Twilight nodded. "Right. Also, any act which causes pregnancy gets the highest possible base act value, 5, even if it's dipping your hoof in semen and dripping it into yourself, which wouldn't otherwise even get a score. Also, the age difference bonus is the age of the older over 3/4 of the younger, the ratio rounded down, and it caps out at a five-times multiplier. Death triples, and cannibalism adds one to that factor, for four times. Factor from incest is 4 for nuclear family, 2 for aunt or uncle, first cousin, grandparent, half-sibling. Step-relatives don't count. There's technically a times 5 bonus for incest, but the criterion seems unachievable. The factor from witnesses is one plus the log base ten of number of ponies witnessing the act, rounded down, uncapped except by logistics."

Button fidgeted; Twilight pointed to him in acknowledgement and he said, "Isn't that anachronistic? I mean, logarithms were invented by Neighpier in the 600s…"

Starswirl shook his head. "Continuous logarithm, yes. The notion of counting powers like this was known."

"Sorry."

Twilight shook her head. "Don't be - it was good thinking. If there's any reason to think this isn't correct, we need to be on top of that. But it checks out with what we've seen. Whenever we did a kiss that had a sufficient age difference outside of family, that got a single point. For some reason, instead of making us get more excited and push towards unlocking, it… relieved the pressure. I have three theories on that, but it's aside from the point. Anyway, after a day, the point wore off and the orgy fizzled. Those of us who have done something that would get more points, such as nonmarital sexual contact, have had a longer reprieve. Whatever Rarity and Spike were doing apparently wasn't more than one point, since the thoughts returned after a day. What was it?" She looked to Rarity, then Spike.

He swallowed, looked to Rarity. She nodded, and he replied, "I sucked on her nipples."

Twilight closed her eyes. "That isn't a scoring act - it might count as kissing - so it is not evidence against. Phew." She turned harder to her right. "On the other hoof, Princess Celestia, just what did you do, to have your orgy technically still be ongoing?"

Celestia swallowed. "I… I find it odd that I am not panicking at the prospect of telling you. I will, however, say that this is not to leave this room." After reviewing the nods from everypony, she said, "I went to a nursing home for retired guards and palace staff. I identified a number of interested individuals, including one on the brink of death. He expired while in me."

"Ah. Even if nothing else happened, that would be worth… three for sex times three for death times five for age difference: forty-five. Squared: two thousand twenty five points. With the escalating decay rate, that isn't enough to explain it still going after, what, fifty days?"

"Other things occurred."

"If you tell me exactly what happened, I can check to find exactly when your thoughts should return. That would be a strong prediction and verification that this formula is correct."

Celestia nodded. "Three stallions and two other mares were present. We mostly snuggled and kissed, then writhed against each other. One of the mares came from that. I performed fellatio on one of the stallions. Another stallion mounted me. The second mare got on my back and the stallion mounting me performed cunnilingus on her. He finished in me, and the third stallion took his place in both regards. The first stallion came in my mouth, and I kissed the mare who had already come. The third stallion died amidst our mutual orgasm, and things ended."

"Did the second mare come? Were any of them married?"

"Yes, and the mare on my back was married to the stallion who mounted me first."

"I see." Twilight wrote some figures down, then said, "Then, that would be 6,532 points. That would take…" She checked a table, then stopped and slowly asked, "How many days has it been since you did this?"

Celestia considered. "Seven weeks ago as of this Sunday, starting just after setting the sun."

Twilight smiled. "Then we have a test. I am writing down a prediction of when your thoughts will return. We will wait until the day after that. If your thoughts have not returned by then, or if they return early, I have reduced confidence in this formula. If my prediction is met, then we can go ahead and proceed with more confidence." As she said so, she held up a sheet of paper, facing away from Celestia, on which she had just written, "Next Monday afternoon or early evening."

"Any other questions?" She looked around and called upon Spike, whose claw was up.

He asked, "Does the cannibalism require death and digestion? I mean, you said this is based around what weird thoughts we've picked up, and ah… my… I imagine putting her leg down my throat but then regurgitating it whole."

Twilight stopped, grabbed the scroll, looked it over, then realized it wasn't on there, and focused on recalling the spell. She slowly said, "Good catch. We do not need to kill or even cause severe permanent injury in order to take advantage of the cannibalism part - on its own, it will double. However, I don't think any of the rest of us are equipped to actually get enough of a participant down our throats besides you. Any others?"

Tempest coughed. "Does petrified count as dead?"

Twilight thought it over. "That's a good question. I think… no. But we may be able to pull some shenanigans with consent using it. Minimize the amount we have to do."

Rainbow Dash looked around the room. "Who actually wants to minimize the amount we have to do? Honestly."

Half the hooves went up. Twilight half-raised hers, and answered. "I want to make sure we get the job done. It's not obvious that we can do this without an extraordinary degree of effort, or bringing in more ponies. That could cause problems. So I'd like to minimize it to the point we don't need to use anypony not in this room, only have one pregnancy, and nopony dies or needs to do something they didn't agree to."

A silence spread, and Starswirl finally asked the big question: "Why? Why would the lock require all this?"

"I believe the particular requirement for witnesses or large number of participants or death was designed so that her return could not evade Sombra's notice. He anticipated being in control, after all. The rest was apparently from Skyla herself. It is not just a lock. It is also an attempt to pull her spirit in, gather her together. Attract her." Twilight turned to her right. "Princesses, what do you recall of princess Skyla?"

Celestia took a deep breath. "She ascended mediating a dispute in the aftermath of the end of Discord's reign. We first met her when she was seventeen. She seemed normal enough then. Eager. When we met her again, a few years later, she seemed oddly fearful of us, and yet attempted to seduce us. I am of mixed feelings about her return. When you told me that Cadence was not Skyla despite her similar talent and overwhelming similarity in coloration if not overall appearance… I was mildly alarmed. I had hoped Cadence was simply her, as she ought to have been."

Luna laughed ruefully. "She only shares mane and coat with Cadence, no more, not even body type. And she did not merely attempt to seduce me - when we last parted, I was not sure she did not bear my foal. Though we parted on not the best terms, I would definitely wish her to live again. She was very…" Luna trailed off, then suddenly declared, "She would beat you over the head with the greatest subtlety. Her plans hid plans - even the plans like 'attack ten on one' would be carefully selected and aimed. Though she lost to Sombra, her plots still planted the seeds of his defeat. Yet she… there was definitely something wrong with her. I think in this time she could get better. I believe you would get along very well, and she could be happy."

Celestia nodded. "I very much hope so."

There was silence, and Twilight looked down at the formula. Her eyes broadened from considering the math and took it in holistically as a representation of her being subtle rather than innumerate. And she blinked - diagonally through the formula were written the Old Equestrian imperative verbs for 'outsmart', 'act in stealth', and 'maintain purity'.

She snorted at that last one, then halted. I wrote this down fresh. She must be active in my mind to achieve that. She stared more intently and read down more diagonals. Gibberish until… 'Spirits?' She snorted and sarcastically observed, "No, reall–" Wait. 'Spirits', as in more than one? Did Sombra attach something to her and she wants to get rid of it? He also said 'this is what you are now'. They just said something happened to her.

Celestia asked, "Twilight?"

Twilight's mouth remained open. Act in stealth. "Well, ah… I'll make a simplified version of this formula and get anypony copies so you can plan out what we could do, see if there's a particularly efficient way of choreographing our orgy. Then we can do a dress rehearsal, and run the math. If our plan appears doable, we can go ahead. Nopony do anything you haven't done before, so we can keep any first-time bonuses."

The way everyone was looking past her and Fluttershy was petrified made Twilight turn around… and found Thunderlane. "Hi. I thought the room was locked."

Scratching his head, he said, "Yeah, Discord let me in so I could warn you the game starts in five minutes and anypony still in will be players. So uh, I could have sworn you just said, 'choreograph our orgy'."

Twilight blinked and realized she couldn't improvise her way out of it. "Yes, I did. It turns out that that strange magic thing was that there's an ancient alicorn spirit locked up, with ritual sex as the key. I want them to figure out how little we could get away with if we follow its rules, while I try to figure out how to attack the magic and bypass it altogether."

"Oh. Uh. I see. If there's anything I can do to help Rumble get free… uh." Then, to Fluttershy, "If that's all right with you."

Giggles went around the room at the reversal. After a few more seconds, Fluttershy's mortification softened. "It is all right with me."

Visits

The Apple dining table was a bit crowded, though not abnormally so. The permanent additions of the missing generation had merely brought it up to a normal level, and the temporary additions of Sweetie and Tempest were not difficult to accommodate. They sat surrounding Sugar Belle, leaving the Apple siblings facing them, Apple Bloom across from Sweetie and Applejack across from Tempest. Granny Smith took the end next to Applejack, with Buttercup and Bright Mac at the slightly-wider opposite end.

Buttercup finally asked, "So, I have met Sweetie Belle, but I'm afraid…" She now had to look at Tempest and bravely attempted a neutral face to her wound. "We haven't been introduced."

Sugar Belle held her hooves out to each, and neutrally said, "This is Commander Tempest Shadow, of the Crystal Empire's arctic rangers. We just found out she is my father."

Bright Mac took in the rest of her appearance besides the glaring obvious lack of point. "I can see some resemblance. You have… strong jaws. Nice to hear you're accomplished."

Tempest grimaced slightly. "Accomplished. That's one word."

Applejack snickered.

Buttercup caught that and asked, "Is there another word you have in mind?"

"Penitent, perhaps."

Apple Bloom suggested, "'Accomplished' fits. Not just anypony could petrify three princesses in under half a minute."

Applejack added with a grin, "And Derpy Hooves."

Sugar Belle turned on her father. "You petrified my sister?"

Tempest wilted; Sweetie Belle reared up and faced diagonally across the table. "Applejack! That wasn't…!"

Granny chided, "Hooves off the table!"

Tempest turned across Sugar Belle to face Sweetie Belle and watched her back away from the table and reseat. "As I said, penitent. I found Applejack's comment amusing, not hurtful."

Bright Mac suggested, "A little clarification would also not be hurtful. Which princesses did you petrify, and why?"

"The princesses were Cadence, Luna, and Celestia. I commanded an invading army. Princess Twilight convinced me I shouldn't do that, so I switched sides, the princesses and Derpy got better, I was allowed to join the Crystal Empire's military. Much more recently, Twilight happened to come across a spell to temporarily grow a penis on a mare, and she thought it might be adaptable to growing me a new horn, so I let her cast it on me so we could see how long it lasts before the onset of magical problems I don't understand. Then I accidentally used the penis on Sweetie because of some misunderstood instructions, and here we are."

Sugar Belle looked at her quizzically, and began, "How do you acc…"

Granny spoke over her, "Accidental my tail! You just like 'em young."

Tempest gave her a level look. "She falls firmly into 'cute', not 'hot'. Maybe in five years. Anyway, I mistook a few important bits of information, and so did Sweetie, and it turns out my sperm are super-powered, so mere proximity was enough."

Sugar Belle edged away from her. "How close is too close?"

"Closer than this. Plus, I'm under Sea Mane's removal now."

Sweetie Belle cut in to ask her daughter, "I didn't entirely catch what you were implying with Starlight. Do you want to be the father of your children with Big Mac?"

Buttercup giggled as Bright Mac spluttered out, "What's this?"

Big Mac answered, "Princess has a spell to change your parts. Earth pony's got to be the mother. I'm an earth pony. So I can be the mother."

Buttercup's giggle intensified. "That's…"

Granny Smith pounded the table. "It's damned clever. Phew. Finally got that out of the way."

Apple Bloom asked, "Aww! Big bro, you're going to be a mommy! Can I call you Orchard Blossom?"

Sweetie Belle burst out laughing as Big Mac buried his muzzle between his hooves. A lengthy explanation about the sisterhooves social ensued.

Big Mac eventually replied to Applejack's ribbing, "You got second place in a rodeo, so you ran away from home and got a job, and you call me 'overcompetitive'?"

"That wasn't about losing, it was about not coming up with the money. 's what the job was for!"

"Eeeyup. And you'll cheerfully admit that Tempest could beat you up."

Tempest stiffened, too shocked to ask to be left out of it before Applejack replied, "In hoof to hoof fighting? Aw, you're funny, Big Mac."

Bright Mac tried to interject, "Applejack…"

It was too late. Tempest replied, "And that's why when I came after the six of you with two yetis, you fled."

Applejack really could have said that where there were two, there would be (and were) more behind. But instead, she said, "Yeah, you and two yetis."

"I've beaten them up before."

"Using your lightning…?" She managed to make it a question at the last moment after seeing Tempest's expression.

Tempest shook her head. "I developed my lightning so I wouldn't need to. Look. I've studied fighting. You attack like your opponents are trees. Fine on bandits, buffalo, month-old changelings, and whatever else you've been fighting, for the most part. But you haven't actually tried to face opponents who actually know how to fight, have you? I mean, you fight to a standstill with Rainbow Dash despite being somewhere around twice as strong as she is. Even Rarity might be able to get more than one good kick in before you nicked her and ended the fight. But I'm stronger than Rainbow Dash, and fighting is my job."

Applejack put a hoof across the table.

Tempest stared at it quizzically. "Is that for hoof wrestling? I concede that you would cream me in hoof wrestling. I would win in a fight."

Buttercup pushed Applejack's hoof back towards her. "We're farmers!"

Apple Bloom shook her head. "Should I go make popcorn?"

Sugar Belle stood up. "Applejack, no beating up my father. Tempest, no beating up my sister in law."

Tempest shrugged in unconcern. "Okay."

Applejack took a deep breath. "How about after dinner, you show me what you mean. What I could be doing better."

Tempest smiled. "Sure!"

~~~~

Tempest helped the thoroughly dusty Applejack back to her feet. "You're improving!"

Applejack shook her head. "The problem is, for a proper buck, you need your head facing forward."

Apple Bloom facehooved. "She's told you six times now to…"

Tempest cut her off with a sharp wave. "Three times, but yes. Don't give a proper buck. I've been showing you how to… you know what, how about we switch to forehooves. You'll get the idea faster."

Applejack shook her head in shame, glad that her ancestors at least had found somewhere better to be rather than watch her embarrass herself, but her siblings and the Belles were still watching, forehooves on the fence. Big Mac shook his head and also headed away.

Tempest reared up and put her forehooves up, then bounced back and forth a little.

Applejack looked at her quizzically. "What are you, a minotaur, or Pinkie Pie?"

"You can do it for a few seconds, I'm sure. It's very useful."

Applejack reared up, teetered, and lunged forward. Tempest caught her and shortly had her pinned face first in a full nelson, with her hind legs twisted uselessly one in front of the other, wrapped in Tempest's. "First, you didn't wait for instructions. Second, stop struggling - I could snap your neck. Third… unh." She whispered, "Seriously, stop struggling or I'm going to come all over your back."

Applejack did not stop, and soon it was too late to insist.

Sweetie Belle swept over them with a crackle.

Sugar Belle giggled, then looked to her mother. "If it's that easy to get her going, I can see how I happened."

Sweetie Belle nodded, then had to clean them again.

After six times, Tempest weakened and Applejack broke free. "Ha! Got out!"

Tempest glowered at her. "Sure, if you want to win by humping your opponent until they need to drink to replenish fluids. I told you to stop."

Applejack froze in confusion, but Tempest went on, "Seriously. I'm feeling a bit violated, here. You're a very attractive mare, but this wasn't the way to get to lie with me."

Applejack frowned. "This… has something to do with sex, doesn't it? Aww horseapples. Did we just have sex?"

Tempest cocked her head in confusion. "No? How could you not tell?"

"I have a magical mental block that keeps me from thinking about sex. I don't know how far it goes. What I know is, I was just wrestling, and you told me you were going to get on my back, but you were already on my back."

"No, I told you I'd come on your back. Ejaculate. Orgasm."

"Oh. I never heard anypony mean 'come' like that."

Apple Bloom idly corrected her, "You forgot."

Applejack shrugged. "Okay, I forgot."

Tempest took some deep breaths.

Applejack slowly asked, "Were you really worked up before? Because that seemed awfully quick. I mean, I'm the furthest from an expert, but I understand it takes longer than that…"

"Twilight screwed up and put me on a hair trigger, all right? That's what the experiments are for, so when she does it to my horn, we get the right sensitivity and all that."

Applejack nodded slowly. "I see. Well, I'm sorry for, uh, what was it you called what I did?"

"Humping. Also, violating. Humping can be nice. Violating, no."

"I'll try to remember that."

Apple Bloom idly spat out the hay strand she'd been chewing on. "Good luck."

"Well, I'm sorry for, uh, violating you. I'm guessing that's doing something with you that you don't want?"

Tempest nodded. "Don't worry. Even if it hadn't been an accident, it wouldn't be in the top ten worst sexual things that happened to me. Just surprising to get it from you. But it was an accident, so we're fine."

In the silence following that statement, Sweetie vaulted over the fence and approached her. "Do you… Are you okay?"

"What?"

"You have a top ten worst things to happen to you?"

"Well, only two were actually bad. Just, there was a bunch of awkward sex with this clingy Diamond bitch I dumped as soon as I could. And this… I mean, as unwanted as it was, it didn't occur to me that she was trying to assault me, just annoy me, and physically? It was… extremely pleasurable."

Applejack swallowed. "You… liked that."

Tempest laughed for a few seconds. "Yeah? Multiple orgasm is really nice, so long as you aren't being raped. Whew. I wasn't kidding about needing water. And it seems about time to head back to the castle. Do I need to head back to the house to formally say goodbye, or can I just go from here?"

Applejack gestured for her to go if she felt like it; she left with Sweetie.

Applejack looked to Apple Bloom. "Do you think I should try to break this block by hitting it head on, before the thing?"

Apple Bloom shrugged, and glanced at Sugar Belle, who didn't know about the upcoming orgy. "Nah. Once Twilight or Starlight is free, we can attack it from the magic side, if it hasn't worn off yet."

Sugar Belle waved her hooves. "So… wait. When you've been walking in on Big Mac and me regularly in the mornings, it's because you didn't even notice?"

Apple Bloom fielded that. "The first time, yes. I've been sending her your way to try to expose her to more, since you didn't seem to mind at all the first time." A frown. "Have you been getting weird…"

Applejack stopped her. "You mean every morning when I'm in your room, you're having sex?"

Sugar Belle thought back. "Sexual things, yes. We haven't actually had sex since finding out about… ancestry issues."

Apple Bloom boggled. "Why not? Sea Mane, plus it's not like you were getting pregnant before."

Sugar Belle admonished, "Not perfect protection, and we'd been using it all along."

"I thought you wanted a baby."

"Absolutely. But we thought we'd try to avoid it in the first year. At least, until this came along. Then it got more serious."

"Oh. Well, next time, do you mind if Applejack just outright watches?"

"I… I'll have to run that by Big Mac."

Applejack counteroffered, "Or I could do something with Tempest. I'm pretty sure she said I was very attractive."

Apple Bloom froze. "Are you interested?"

"… yeah, I think I am."

~~~~

Fluttershy gulped. She knew exactly why this was her job, but she wasn't looking forward to it. A knock on Thunderlane's door. Maybe no one's home. But I really haven't waited long enough and how silly I'd look if I turn around now and they come to the door. I'll wait to the count of…

Rumble answered the door. Fluttershy opened her mouth and was unable to speak. After a moment, Rumble suggested, "Thunderlane's in. Do you want to talk with him?" Fluttershy nodded. "Do you want me to step out for a bit?"

Please. "If that's all right with you."

Rumble took off, leaving the doorway clear. Fluttershy slipped in. "Thunderlane?"

He trotted out of the kitchen and smiled. "Fluttershy! What brings you over?"

"Well, we… Twilight and Starswirl and… the others, they tried, they really did, but they couldn't find out how to get that lock off by cheating. So it looks like we're going to need your help."

Thunderlane coughed. "With…"

Fluttershy nodded. "With the orgy. We're going to have a spoken practice run on Saturday. To see if the spell would be satisfied."

"Spoken?"

"They made another lock that doesn't care if we do the things; we just have to say them. If that lock comes off, then we know the real one would if we do the things."

Thunderlane chuckled, embarrassed. "I see. So, choreographed. Do you know what we're supposed to do, yet?"

Yes. But I can't say. What if he is disgusted? Fluttershy nodded, pulled a slip of paper out of her saddlebag, and spoke from behind it. "We each have nine partners." She put the slip down on the table. Then she forced herself to recite what Starlight had prepared with her: "The reason I am here is because you might not want to do some of these things, and if so, we need to find out early so we can make some other plan."

Thunderlane came along her left side and put a wing across her back in a loose hug. "In other words, if it's all right with me. Well, thank you and thank them for asking instead of dumping it on me at the last minute. That was very thoughtful. How about we take a look at it together?"

Fluttershy nodded and shivered. She moved up to read from the slip, when he kissed the side of her face. She steeled herself and read out, "You have to stick your dick in Twilight Sparkle's petrified butt until you're nearly coming. Then, you have to give Rumble a hoof or wing job."

Thunderlane balked. "What other options do we have?"

"If we don't do this plan, we might have to do twice as many things overall. I'd have, say," Her voice faded to a whisper, "twenty other partners instead of nine."

Thunderlane swallowed. "I see. What else?"

"At the same time as you do… that, Tempest will give you a hoofjob. We're in a circle, you see, so there isn't a lot of doing only one pony at once."

"Okay…"

"Then you need to give her one while Pinkie gives you one. Tempest will, ah, have a penis, but you don't need to use it."

"Okay…"

Fluttershy swallowed and blushed. "Then, ah… I hope this is not a problem, I hope it's the opposite of a problem, actually, but then, you use your mouth on me."

Thunderlane took a deep breath. "The other things I can just set aside as something for this thing. This… okay, we can jump ahead for this and then jump back."

Fluttershy, barely audibly, said, "Or we could just keep on doing that after. I think I'll like it."

Thunderlane's blush rivaled hers. "Or we could do that."

Fluttershy coughed and added, "While you're doing that to me, Rumble will be doing it to you."

Thunderlane slowly turned to her. "I thought we got him out of the way."

"Well, that was the end of you and him this time."

Thunderlane took a deep breath. "I'm going to have to think about this."

Fluttershy nodded. "Do you want to stop and think, or keep going?"

Thunderlane gestured forward. "May as well think after I know all of it."

Fluttershy read off the next line. "I think the next thing won't be a problem. I use my mouth on you."

Thunderlane giggled like a little filly who'd choked on her lollipop as she was teasing a colt with a crush on her, then cleared it up and laughed more normally. "That helps, yes."

Fluttershy took a deep breath and took the plunge, rushing to the end. "You have to also use your mouth on Pinkie at the same time. Then, you fuck Scootaloo. Then Sweetie Belle. Then Rarity. And that's it."

Thunderlane swallowed. "And not you."

"Not in the orgy, no. Maybe after."

"We'll all be using protection?"

Fluttershy nodded. "Only Twilight is getting pregnant."

"I… guess I'd want to meet… each of the last three at least, and talk it over."

"If you'd like, we can visit the boutique right now. I saw them in when I was walking over."

Thunderlane hesitantly asked, "Fluttershy, if you don't mind saying… what will you be doing?"

"Oh, Sweetie Belle will rub me while I rub Starswirl, then I rub Sweetie while Spike rubs me, then you and I do our things. While you're licking me, I lick Spike. While I'm licking you, Starswirl licks me. Then I hump Twilight's statue until I nearly come. Then I fuck Rumble, Button Mash, and Spike."

Thunderlane swallowed. "Uh. Do you know what Rumble's doing?"

Fluttershy looked down at the paper. "Aside from you… Scootaloo, Applejack, Starswirl, then me, Rarity, and Sweetie Belle. And Twilight's statue."

"Shit. These're kids."

"If it makes you feel better, Celestia and Luna have already approved the plan. And Celestia will be licking Scootaloo and Apple Bloom. So she clearly doesn't think it's wrong under the circumstances."

Thunderlane suddenly found himself unable to breathe. He finally managed to gasp out, "What's going on here."

The urge for this to bubble out overcame her and she gently said, "I had a fantasy. Would you like to hear it?"

Thunderlane, still stunned, nodded.

Fluttershy swallowed. "We have a son. When he's three, you have him mount me and conceive my daughter. When she's born, she first suckles on our son - her father's - penis before making it to my teats. In the mornings, instead of giving you a wingjob, I rub her belly against your penis until you come on her and on my teats, and she laps it up with her milk. Our son watches that and thinks it's normal. When we have sex, you and our son do me at both ends. He also has sex with his daughter while we watch and advise them. We aren't sure whether our third is yours or his. And then they all grow up to be happy, well-adjusted adults with no psychological problems or regrets or anger, and they bring their special someponies home for us all to fuck, and nopony thinks any of this is at all strange."

Fluttershy gave Thunderlane to absorb that, which he was pretty much totally unable to do in the five seconds before she added. "I didn't have thoughts like that until the ghost came. We each get different things, but this is more or less what is popping into our heads from time to time until we get this taken care of. Including Rumble's."

Thunderlane coughed. "And we're sure that'll get rid of it?"

Fluttershy nodded. "Pretty sure."

Thunderlane sighed. "I didn't realize it was that bad."

Fluttershy sighed back. You didn't realize it was that great. "It's not like I'll do any of that. I can still tell right from wrong." But it's fun to imagine.

Unlock

Twilight looked back to Rumble and solemnly lied, "I now have a dildo up my butt. Note that I can't acknowledge further acts done to my body, as I'm now petrified."

Starlight, the director, nodded: the simulation spell had marked that Twilight had made that declaration.

Twilight addressed the room. "All right, I have to run over to Canterlot to cover something for Luna. See you all later. Let me know how it goes! Don't forget to do the hoof motions!"

Twilight ducked out the door, sealed it, and jogged to the portal room. Celestia and Luna hadn't used the Canterlot portal to get here, thankfully. She stepped through and headed to the throne room.

"Hello, Plumbers' Guild representatives. I am so very, very sorry, but it has become urgent that I save princess Skyla right now, and princesses Celestia and Luna are required to provide spell support. I assume you know what I'm talking about? Right. I will be able to help you with your issue later tonight if all goes well."

~~~~

Thunderlane looked at the 50%-scale fuckable Scootaloo plushy that Rarity had made and set it down next to Rumble. "I, uh, guess I can use this on you."

Starlight coughed. "You're going to have to be more specific. That didn't go through."

"I, uh, take this doll and, uh, put it around his dick and move it up and down until he tells me to stop, which is supposed to be just short of his coming?"

Starlight frowned. "'Please wait'. What for? Did it go through or not? I get that this version of the lock is supposed to be more like the real one, but does that actually have… okay, there we go. Sheesh. Rumble, you're up next."

Rumble faced Scootaloo. "I'm going to rub my wings across your body, everywhere, building, teasing…"

Starlight coughed harder. "Rumble, we're going to be here all night if you take as long to say it as you would to do it."

"Sorry, I'm just… really feeling it. But if you insist… Scootaloo, I'm giving you a hoof and wing job."

"Scootaloo?"

Scootaloo blushed as she stammered out, "Rainbow Dash! I'm…" She trailed off, staring into Rainbow Dash's splayed out privates. Not so private at the moment.

Dash winked. "Speechless before my awesomeness?"

Scootaloo nodded.

Dash prompted, "Aaand you are…"

"Gg. Gi…"

Starlight coughed so hard it actually hurt her throat a little. "Rainbow, put your legs together? We want to avoid doing things in rehearsal so we get the first time bonus in the actual event. So quit teasing."

~~~~

Twilight stood in the square in front of the palace, black board with diagrams of genes. A round region had been cleared of snow and warmed to a comfortable temperature, attracting attention and passers-by. Her horn was aglow. On a projection screen was a greatly magnified live view of what she was doing in vitro right in front of them.

"So, there are my parents' cells splitting. And because of the special spell I cast earlier, it's splitting the same way it did when it made me. When it's done, the two on the left - each of them will have one of my two 'bookshelves' of 'instruction books'. If you put them together, you'd get a cell that's just like my cells." She took a sip of water. "This'll take a few minutes, so it's a good time for some questions."

A colt raised a hoof, and she called on him. "What about the ones on the right?"

"Each of them has the half of the instruction book that that parent didn't give me. And hold on to that thought."

A filly raised her hoof. "Why are you a ball and a snake?"

Twilight blinked. Does nopony listen?. She held back a frown before she remembered seeing the filly arrive after the start. This is the drawback of making it free to walk in at any time. "It's a great time for a review!"

As she repeated herself, Twilight checked the progress of the orgy team…

~~~~

Thunderlane faced Tempest Shadow's rear end and gulped as the other participants read out their actions. Something had gone a little awry with the spell and it required them to go around the circle twice before it would register that they were actually doing it all at the same time, not just one after another. He saw Fluttershy put her forehooves together, raise them up, then spread them apart and lower them, and remembered to repeat the gesture himself.

It was something to break up the tension. Thunderlane could sense that the party really wanted to start, somehow. A definite feeling thrummed through the air. Thunderlane briefly made eye contact with the other guests - those not actually affected by the magic at all: Button Mash, who turned back to Sweetie Belle's flicking tail; Applejack, who was momentarily ignoring Twilight Velvet's silent gestures indicating she should keep staring at Night Light's penis in front of her; and Maud, who looked up from Boulder's harem, as if she'd sensed something pass by. Or maybe it was the way Pinkie was breathing on her back side.

He resumed listening to the proceedings.

Rainbow Dash announced, "I'm still eating you out, Luna. And you're coming, right?"

Luna glanced back at her and deadpanned, "Oh yes, I'm coming so hard. Sister, my tongue is still in you, as it never ever has been before and never will be again, so you'd better enjoy it while it lasts."

Starlight interjected, "Such an over the top denial, I begin to doubt it! Also, you ran those two together, so it might not take. Hold on… proceed."

Luna and Celestia shared a look and a roll of eyes; Celestia declared, "The heavens shake with my climax. It would be unsafe for the world for us to repeat such a wonderful night. And my dear little pony, Scootaloo. I believe my tender ministrations to your most private place may have achieved results?"

After awaiting a nod from Starlight, Scoots replied, "Yup. I came."

Starlight Glimmer sighed. "Okay, that's the third circle complete. Now, everypony get in position for the fourth circle…"

~~~~

"Okay, but how do mommies and daddies do it?"

The colt's mother shushed him. "She's a princess! You can't badger her like that!"

Twilight replied, "When I'm on the throne or otherwise acting as a princess, you are correct. Right now, I am a teacher, and asking the teacher questions is fine. There are some physical differences between mares and stallions. Trill, that wasn't a question, and I think we all know what they are. Thank you. The mares keep the eggs up in their parts, and the stallion keep the sperm up in theirs. The sperm, as you may recall, can swim a short distance. When the stallion's body releases the sperm, the stallion just gets it as close as it can to the egg and the sperm swim the rest of the way. Yes, Trill?"

Quiver Trill asked, "Is on the outside of the belly far enough you can't? My mommy always makes her boyfriends go on her belly."

Even in her state, Twilight blushed. She really hadn't expected a filly to be talking like that. "The belly is easily far enough, but if he was… substantially closer immediately before, that could be a problem. Some overeager little swimmers can get going well before the crowd. So I'd like to speak with your mommy afterwards about how to be more careful." She used a transparently fake smile on the parents around the edge, communicating to them that she would take care of the other aspects that were concerning. Several nodded, satisfied. Those who'd seen this as totally inappropriate had already left, and the rest might have been affected by Skyla.

"All right! So, we have the left set of cells. Who's that like? Yes, that's like me. Is it actually me? That's correct - no, it's not me. If we let this one grow, it would be like my identical twin - a clone. A funny thing is, this spell was originally supposed to make duplicates of powerful wizards like Starswirl the Bearded. But it didn't work well, because eggs carry most of the magic, and they need to be real. So afterwards, I'm going to just bring it in and put it with its twins. That is, I'll put it in my body and just make it part of me. It'll fit right in. Now, let's focus on the one on the right. Who is this? Chip?"

"It's your brother!"

"Is this one on the right a twin of my brother Shining Armor, like the one on the left is a twin of me?"

"No, it's a new brother!"

"Why do you say that?"

"Uuuh. Well, I thought it would be…"

"Oh, you were totally right, but can you explain how you knew it?"

~~~~

Thunderlane looked down at Scootaloo, who was lying flat on the ground under him, head propped on a forehoof. Night Light was arguing with Starlight Glimmer. "I don't think any of you are going to come from anal stimulation, so I'm going to need to come to make this work. And I need to do it three times in a row? How long are we going to need to stay in this formation?"

Starlight repeated, "We can take a break in between each of these last three frames. How long is your refractory period?"

"I'm not as young as I used to be."

Twilight Velvet offered from in between Applejack and Apple Bloom, "An hour would be enough."

"Sure, the first time of the night, but the fourth?"

Starlight assured him, "The break can be five hours long. Hay, we could break and come back the next day if we need to, though that would be cutting it fine before we begin facing penalties."

~~~~

"So, since it was chosen as everything that didn't go in to me, this 'brother' is only as related to me as my parents are related to each other, which is, not at all. If you were to flip the bottom and top rows of this…"

She applied a little magic to the chalk board and it swapped them. "There's only one little difference. What's that? Toasty?"

Milk Toast said, "You took your whole left bookshelf and gave it to your dad, and then he shuffled it into his bookshelves, but that's backwards. You're supposed to shuffle and then give it!"

Twilight nodded happily. "Yes! If we were doing it right, it would be like this." She drew the alternate pattern in a different color. "I'd be having a foal with this 'other stallion', and I'd do the shuffling and he'd do the shuffling… and with a little luck, we could end up with our parents. In fact, if we had a foal, it would be as if it was a brother or sister to my mother, and to my father. Even though they aren't at all brother and sister to each other. Yes, Trill?"

"I have two half brothers and half sister. Is this like that, but harder?"

"No, this foal would be like a full brother or sister with each of my parents. And I really do need to talk with your mother afterward. Not immediately… can you ask her to drop by the palace at or after ten? Thank you." Twilight glanced to one of her guards, who had quickly taken down a note, presumably to admit her. "Anyway, how about we do that and see how it works out?"

Of course, she wasn't just starting now - she already had one of his two cells undergoing meiosis at a magically accelerated pace. She surreptitiously took the other cell out of the magnifying frame, then picked up her glass of water. Quickly passing the cell up through the place her two auras conjoined, she put it into her cup of water. Then she took a drink.

~~~

Thunderlane looked down into Rarity's baby blue eyes as she said, "You were my first crush, did you know that, Thunderlane?"

He chuckled awkwardly. "I guess you didn't imagine us like this."

"I was too young to imagine us at all. I just really liked you. So anyway, time to finish what your brother started."

"Right. Uh, to be clear for the benefit of the spell, I'm having sex with Rarity now. Next?"

Starlight and Starswirl suddenly gasped. Starlight shouted, "Now what?" She growled, "Twilight…"

Starswirl vanished in a flash of light, only to reappear a moment later. "The room's ward against teleportation is keeping me in? What's she up to?"

Starlight groused, "Twilight's gone off and deactivated the lock manually. Now how are we supposed to finish the… what… what?"

A dark gray swirl of ghostly energy coalesced around them, gathered together, and shot out of the window, making a hard right turn as if to head across Ponyville towards Canterlot.

Rainbow Dash raised a hoof. "Should I, uh, chase that?"

~~~~

Ten seconds earlier, Twilight Sparkle took the zygote made from one of her eggs and her unnamed, unrelated brother's female sperm, and attached it to her uterine wall. It wasn't a proper attachment yet, but close enough for the lock.

Five points for impregnation, times four for brother, times five for maximum age difference, times two or three for around a hundred witnesses, times two for lack of consent from my partner, times four for his death plus cannibalism since I drank all of him that wasn't turned into sperm, equals at least sixteen hundred. After squaring, well over a million. Come on, lock… Just to be ready, she manually released the practice lock. She pulled out a pre-written letter to Spike and prepared to send it.

The original lock's abstract gears turned and released. A swirl of bright light that Twilight really hoped was Skyla coalesced around Twilight and settled in her belly. Even before she was in, Twilight started casting again, and once the light was settled in her, she finished a new lock on the remaining spirit, that could be unlocked by a second recitation of the orgy, but in between the first two acts, somepony would have to recite the first ten digits of e.

To her great shock, this new lock grabbed onto nothing and failed.

"Oh ffffiddlesticks."

~~~~

Sparkler got a headache.

Search

Spike felt a letter coming, and jerked his head up and clear so he wouldn't singe Fluttershy's tail. Twilight's letter appeared in a familiar flash. Starlight snatched it out of the air.

She read out loud, "I freed Skyla myself while you were… distracting the second ghost? There's a second ghost? Anyway. Please have a real orgy right away and get somepony pregnant, preferably incestuous, but it doesn't need to be highly organized. The other ghost needs to be embodied too. It isn't locked, but you still need to draw it in."

Everypony in the orgy room stared at each other for a few seconds.

Then Celestia coughed and declared a largely-shared sentiment in the room. "This no longer seems like it ought to have seemed to be such a good idea."

Starswirl pointed out, "It was a good idea. Miss Sparkle seems to have pre-empted us, though. I suspect that smoke was the spirit being drawn off to her in Canterlot. Hopefully, she has warded herself against it in time to keep it separate?"

Celestia clarified, "Regardless of the actual value of the strategy, actually doing things with you no longer seems silly and fun, but very unappealing."

Starswirl's eyes widened. "But why would removing Skyla make you less interested… unless she was the one who was perverted and the other is ordinary? We have no clues what to do to draw that spirit in."

Starlight added, "There is a whole raft of possibilities, yeah. But, Twilight seems to know what was going on better than we do and she told us to have an orgy. So, uh. Who's feeling up to doing something?"

Applejack raised a hoof. "I'm not excited - I haven't been excited by any of this yet, but this needs to be done to save somepony, so I'll do it! Same reasons as before!" She looked around. Maud joined her.

Rainbow Dash and Button Mash hesitantly raised hooves, and then Starswirl. Thunderlane kept his eyes on Fluttershy. She looked back at him, paralyzed. Everypony was very quiet, stunned, introspective.

Rarity wriggled out from under Thunderlane, diverting his attention. He stepped away from her, and went to Fluttershy. He softly asked, "What's going on? What do you feel?"

"I feel… drained. But also, normal. I… don't think I'm going to get those thoughts anymore."

"That's nice, but there's still that second spirit out there."

Starswirl added, "Yes, and it is fully gathered and seeking a host. If we don't cause it to conceive as a foal, it could possess somepony already existing."

Applejack called out, "I'll do it."

Apple Bloom objected, "We already have three foals coming in the family! Well, one coming soon, but still."

Applejack roared, "We can hire a surrogate later! Haven't you been paying attention the past week? This isn't going to be an Apple, it's going to be some Crystal pony victim of Sombra, or something. We need to save 'em and whoever they would possess if we don't!"

Tempest approached. "I am very not-turned-on, but I suspect I can inseminate you anyway, if needed."

Applejack looked to Starswirl. "Will this work?"

Starswirl, however, wasn't listening. He was almost sniffing the air. "Fluttershy was correct. Something is draining you. That's why there's almost a perfect match between those who can still act and those who weren't affected by spirit to begin with. If the pull on my ward is any indication…" He held up a hoof, preparing to point.

As he was thinking, Spike burped up a second letter, and read it. "P.S. Applejack, you repel it, so stay away."

Applejack nodded. "Well, there goes that plan."

Starswirl finally pointed and declared, "… it's pulling that way. It's not moving as much anymore."

Starlight gasped. "It's found another target?"

Starswirl nodded. "I suspect the second spirit is draining out your sexual thoughts so it can feed them into somepony else. Somewhere else, somewhere outside of our control."

Now that the issue was general rather than delegated to a specialist, Celestia took command. "Guide us. I will carry you."

~~~~

Derpy wasn't sure why Sparkler had insisted on snuggling right after dinner, but that was all right. She wouldn't have that many more chances to snuggle with her little daughter before she found some stallion - or mare, Derpy supposed - and settled down on her own. Warm breathing on her neck.

Kisses on her neck. Well, that was a little different.

And Sparkler wasn't all that big, really. More like… a filly? Derpy looked down her body at her daughter, who had noticeably shrunk. Her horn was aglow as her head came to rest on Derpy's teats. Derpy looked more carefully - Sparkler hadn't shrunk that much - she had also lowered herself along Derpy's body. She looked a year or two over cutie mark age.

Oh. She figured out the foal-age spell. Good for her. If she needs a hug so much she wants to regress to childhood, I guess she can do that for a while.

Sparkler gently kissed her mother's teats, and began suckling.

Uh, all right, simulated nursing is, umm. Fine, I guess?

Derpy's mind wandered to Maple Turner. That little colt, not much over cutie mark age, with the crystallizing blood. The one who'd tearily let out his heart about what he'd never get to know. About what he'd never get to see, or do, or feel. And how she'd helped him see, and do, and feel a little portion of that. How he'd… How she'd recreated what she'd had with her father.

She was lost enough in her thoughts that she didn't particularly notice as Sparkler's suckling shifted from simulated nursing to a lover's kisses.

She became aware of what she was doing as she brought Sparkler back up her body, and rolled over so she was on top. But her continuity of consciousness was centered on her afternoons with Maple Turner, not her current evening with Sparkler. So, it wasn't too surprising when she reached down and found a penis. She stroked it and guided it into herself.

They lay there and rocked gently, eyes closed.

The door opened, and closed.

Derpy opened her eyes, and focused. "Dad…"

New Leaf froze. He'd felt he needed to come here. He'd been drawn in. But his immersion was sudden, and he had perfectly clear context. Eventually, he managed to speak. Betrayal bubbled through. "How… how long have you been doing this? How?"

Derpy frowned in confusion, then looked down at Sparkler. She realized where she was, and who she was doing. She was about to panic when another thought occurred to her. "A few minutes, and it's high time we did. You did fine by me. It was their taking you from me that made the trouble!" That sounded true, and though it left out some important things, it felt like the right thing to say.

New Leaf was stunned to hear that. Something seemed off, and he felt the air press in on him. "Sparkler? What do you feel…" He was interrupted by sharp knocks on the house's front door. "All right, we can talk over what's all right later, but how about you disentangle and we deal with whoever's here?"

Sparkler moaned, "Hurry, mama."

New Leaf scowled and tried to levitate them apart. Sparkler's horn flashed and she flung him back.

~~~~

A loud clatter and grunt of pain came from upstairs, so Celestia teleported in with Starswirl. Luna popped in a moment later with Starlight, leaving Rainbow Dash, Thunderlane, and Fluttershy to enter through the front door.

Celestia found Derpy and her sister/daughter fucking on the bed, ignoring the commotion around them.

She asked the two mages, "Do you think it's safe to separate them? They're clearly under mind control."

Starswirl observed, "Whether or not it's safe for them, it would definitely divert the ghost somewhere else, and it will be difficult to contain."

Starlight said, "If the ghost likes what I think it does, these would be its preferred parents. I think we can divert it elsewhere, but it'll want to come right back at the first chance."

While Celestia digested that, Luna added, "Additionally, I will attempt to trap it. Starswirl?"

He nodded, and they set up a glowing sphere around themselves, containing the room and a bit of space beyond.

Celestia nodded in acceptance, and pulled the sisters apart and set them down on opposite sides of the bed. A gray mist oozed out of them, and filled the space within the ball. Luna and Starswirl began to wonder if leaving themselves on the inside had been the best idea, but Celestia addressed the smoke. "Ghost. We would like you to live again. We will even provide you with parents. But we will not let you take without asking, nor may you make them agree. If you can understand us - if you have any ability to choose - let us find you some parents who agree to it. I am sure we can."

The smoke finished pouring out of Sparkler, who shook her head. "What?"

Celestia softly explained, "This smoke is a ghost who possessed you to try to be reborn into a foal."

Sparkler looked down at her penis and mildly panicked. Derpy just lay back spread-eagled and blinked.

Sparkler glanced at her mother. "But why us? Why go to the trouble of…" She looked to her father. "Oh no."

Starlight finally noticed New Leaf, and quickly rushed over and cast a diagnostic spell. "Oh good, it's not too bad."

New Leaf stirred and grunted, then opened his eyes. "Hey. What… What the buck is going on here?"

Starlight reiterated, "Ancient ghost created by Sombra wants to be reborn. It's trying to finish gathering itself up so it can make a new body for itself and dive in."

New Leaf looked to his daughters. Sparkler was wringing her hooves. "And to make a new body, it decided it needed… them to make babies."

Starlight nodded.

"Does it, uh, really like, umm."

Starlight nodded. "Incest, pedophilia, coercion, and general weirdness."

"Oh."

Sparkler began crying; Celestia came alongside and spread a wing over her. Sparkler looked up. "How long has it been doing this to me…? Did I bring it here? Did I…"

Celestia pulled her closer against her body. "Sparkler, I think you should hear this before you say anything else. Less than an hour ago, to save this ghost, I planned to have sex with my sister and a foal. At the same time. This ghost has affected us strongly. We are trying to get it all into a body so it can stop doing this to other ponies." Looking up to the smoke, she said, "I'm afraid it might feel that we were trying to cheat it, when Twilight Sparkle tricked us all. But we were serious. If it calms down and doesn't force ponies to go along, we will go do what we said we would do."

Starlight, observing that she was done, added, "Sparkler, to answer your question? It's been going around for two months now, but I don't think you were affected until about five minutes ago."

"So…" Sparkler's fears faded, and a few hopes too.

Derpy sat up. "Sparkler, I love you. You're a good daughter. It was just a ghost."

Luna interjected, "It is still a ghost, and if it loses patience here it might try to escape. Our bubble may be more of a help to it in holding together, than a hindrance to its exit should it make the attempt."

Sparkler nodded, then shook her head. "It wasn't just the ghost. I…" She looked to her mother. "I've been thinking about you and Dad. Trying to understand it. And it's…" she took a deep breath. "I don't know why, but I'm… If the ghost likes incest, it came to the right pony. I'm made of it. I… if it needs somepony and it chose me and… my sister…" She looked up to Derpy, then New Leaf, then Derpy again. "Mom? What… Do you think we should?"

Derpy was speechless and stared back at her, but New Leaf looked away and said, "I… no. I can't think."

Starlight put a hoof on his shoulder. "Do you want to leave?"

"And let them… this is wrong!"

"She's not a child, she's just small at the moment."

New Leaf heated up. "You massive hypocrite! You gave me this lecture after you saved me…"

Starlight stuffed a hoof in his mouth. "I'm sure I did, but I haven't given it to you yet so when I decide what to put into it, I'll make sure that if you were listening carefully it's consistent with doing the right thing as we are in this case."

As soon as she released him, he said, "Unless you've decided by then that this isn't the right thing to do."

"I'll make that judgement at that time. Anything else would bring too much acausal information for the loop to be stable."

"Maybe this loop shouldn't have happened!"

"You'd be dead, and the Apples, too!"

"I'd die to save my daughters from more of what I did to them!"

Derpy outright tackled him and shoved her hoof on his nose. "Dad? Do. Not. Break. This. Loop."

Starlight coughed. "If he's trying to break the loop and I don't want it to break, I just have to say something else…" The lid of Derpy's wandering eye narrowed in her general direction, so she shut up.

The rest of Derpy's gaze focused on her father again. "I sacrificed my life to save something bigger than myself before, remember? I got better, but you wouldn't. And you'd be doing much, much less than saving a princess. And I want you alive. If it'll save somepony else's life, I'll have your foal again. Or my daughter's, if it comes down to that. I'd rather do that than you die. Especially since if you break the loop, the ghost would still be here, and we could end up having to do this anyway!"

New Leaf looked to Celestia and Luna, and swallowed, unable to figure out what to say.

Celestia nodded. "It's okay. We might even need to get your daughter a second medal."

New Leaf threw up his hooves. "All right, fine. Can it not be me? I spent a lot of effort on not wanting to fuck her, and I'd like to not throw that way."

Derpy looked to Sparkler. "Umm. Sweetie, would you?"

Sparkler crossed her hooves in front of her penis self-consciously. "I… guess I should, but I really don't want to?"

Luna spat, "Fuck. And we were this close. The ghost's about to give up."

A knock on the bedroom door. All eyes turned to it. Derpy hovered off of her father, who rolled out of the way of the door's path and stood up. Derpy sat on the edge of the bed, cleared her throat and said, "Who is it?"

"Uh, it's your little uncle Thunderlane. We've, uh, kind of overheard everything. And Fluttershy's shoving me toward the door."

As if to emphasize the point, it suddenly opened and he tumbled in, followed by Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash.

Thunderlane addressed the smoke. "Is an uncle good enough for you?"

Starlight glanced around at it. "I don't think it'll answer. Just, uh, try?"

Thunderlane scratched the back of his head and looked awkwardly at Derpy. "Uh, so…"

Derpy swallowed and looked him over. "I… er… okay, works for me?"

Luna's horn flared for a moment and she gritted out, "We're losing it…" Starswirl brought his horn closer to hers.

Thinking quickly, Starlight cast the foal-age spell on Thunderlane, sending him down to toddlerhood, and said, "Get in her lap."

Thunderlane saluted and hopped up onto Derpy's lap where she sat on the edge of the bed. Derpy hugged him. "Oh, my baby uncle. Mama's little brother. I… this isn't working."

Luna's horn began sparking from strain. "Sister, help…"

Celestia looked at the smoke, and Luna, then trotted over and jammed her muzzle under Luna's tail.

As her sister's tongue barely missed her vulva, Luna yelped and her horn fizzled out, but the relaxation of the strain on the bubble the action brought was so sudden that Starswirl felt an easing rather than shouldering the full burden.

Luna turned her head and glared. Celestia gave her an innocent look. "I'm helping." She put her muzzle in and this time her lick's aim came more true.

Luna gasped and looked out the window through the smoke. A number of ponies were dimly visible. "Privacy bubble… we'll be too loud…"

Fluttershy said, "Rarity said she'd make sure we aren't heard."

Luna collapsed forward onto the bed. "Good."

Meanwhile, Fluttershy joined Derpy on the side of the bed, and accepted her boyfriend from the mare. She cradled him. "Isn't this a cute little thing?"

Rainbow Dash snickered. "Yeah, little and helpless…" Starlight de-aged Rainbow as well with a roll of her eyes. "Hey!"

Fluttershy held Thunderlane up. "He's such a good little boy. Volunteering to save somepony. So brave. He deserves a reward. Do you want a reward, Thunderlane?" Getting the idea, he nodded. And she pulled him up to her face and gave his toddler penis a long lick. Derpy goggled.

Sparkler's eyes darted between that and Luna, now sprawled across the floor on her back as Celestia tonguefucked her.

New Leaf scratched the back of his head. "Uh, honey? Can I go now?"

Starlight Glimmer nodded. "Yeah, I think we got this. I think I'll be able to avoid fucking anyone, but I need to stick around to keep an eye on things."

He nodded and hurriedly moved to exit. Starlight interrupted him, pulling him into a deep kiss. After a last nose-to-nose boop, she released him and he scrambled out of the room and to the stairwell. Where Dinky was standing.

As Night Light and Twilight Velvet climbed up the stairs past them and headed into the room, Dinky asked, "What's going on, Grandpa?"

"Uh, what does it look like happened?"

"I dunno. There was a crash and some ponies rushed through and there's a glowy wall with smoke in it. Is the house on fire?It doesn't smell like it."

"Right, it's not. Stay out of the smoke. It's a ghost. They're taking care of it. How about we head out for, uh, some hayfries or something."

"Aren't you a wizard? Shouldn't you help?"

"I… they don't need more help." Hearing a creak, he added, "Actually, we should get away quickly." He gestured her down the stairs, which she hesitantly did, and herded her out the back as Scootaloo and Rumble made their way in. "How about ice cream?"

"Are mommy and Sparkler going to be okay?"

He nodded. "They're going to be fine."

She narrowed her eyes. "You're worried about them."

A sigh. "Worried isn't really the right word. Let's clear out and let them do what they have to do."

Recursion

Sparkler sat to Rainbow Dash's left, both perched on the dresser in reduced-age forms, watching what was going on on the bed: Thunderlane had been equalized with Rumble in age, and they stood reared up, hugging, hanging breathlessly on each others shoulders - for Fluttershy and Derpy stood on each side, alternating giving each of the brothers blowjobs. Sparkler looked to Rainbow. "Is that… actually fun to do? They seem… concentrated."

"Making somepony squirm and groan? Yeah, it's great." Rainbow, as bad at subterfuge as ever, was entirely unable to hide that this opinion was not based on experience.

Scootaloo slipped in front of them, squeezing around Twilight Velvet's rear end, and slipped her muzzle between Rainbow Dash's knees. Glad for an excuse to look away from Sparkler's withering glance, Rainbow greeted her. "Hey, squirt. Want a bit of me?"

Scootaloo just gave her a look, and Dash opened wide. "Enjoy the view, take a taste."

As Scootaloo began kissing her inner thighs, Rainbow looked to her other side, to where Twilight Velvet was helping Night Light get lined up to mount Celestia. "Yo, Twimom! Where's everypony else? Maud? The other kids? Tempest?"

Twilight Velvet choked on the appellation, but replied, "Maud, not being needed, left. Rarity and Spike are guarding the front, Sweetie and her colt the back. Do you think there aren't enough ponies in this room?"

"Y-y- wow, Scootaloo, have you ever done this before? Gotten frisky with the crusaders?" Scootaloo shook her head without stopping nuzzling Rainbow's thighs, approaching but not quite kissing her pussy. After a moment, Dash glanced around. "So, where's Pinkie?"

Twilight Velvet just shrugged and gave her husband a lick, and he gently pushed forward into Celestia. Rainbow Dash glanced over to Sparkler and spotted her erection. "Want a hoof with that?"

Sparkler gibbered. "Uh." A noise of rearrangement attracted her attention to the bed. Her eyes went to her mother, who looked up and made eye contact with Sparkler as she waited for the colts to settle down: the brothers soon lay side by side on the bed, heads toward the dresser Sparkler and Rainbow Dash were sitting on. The mares settled between their hind legs, and resumed sucking. Derpy never lost eye contact with Sparkler, even her lazy eye close enough to count, for a time.

Sparkler broke that eye contact herself, trying to get free of her fascination, and took stock of the rest of the room: behind Fluttershy stood Starswirl in the corner, discreetly keeping the bubble going. Luna's forelegs were visible over the side of the bed as she lay back and accepted her sister's tongue. Night Light was perched on a footstool, slowly sliding in and out of Celestia. Next to the door, Starlight Glimmer was focused intently on the proceedings, horn alight. Twilight Velvet was close in to Sparkler, her cutie mark up against Sparkler's feet, her rear end offered to Thunderlane to eat out, which he was intermittently able to do between waves of distraction from what Fluttershy was doing to him. To her right on the dresser was Rainbow Dash, Scootaloo still darting in and giving a lick and nuzzling her thighs instead of sucking solidly. And she too had moments of pause, as her rear was planted directly over Rumble's face. And that brought her back to her mother, who was giving Rumble a momentary break.

As Sparkler watched, Derpy locked eyes with her and licked up Rumble's shaft, then gestured with a wing for her to join them.

Sparkler hopped down off the dresser and made her way over to the gap between the brothers lying side by side. Thunderlane lifted his splayed-out wing, and she carefully rolled onto her back in place, ending up lying head-to-tail between them. She looked first to her right where Thunderlane was wincing in pleasure from his girlfriend's attentions, then to the left where Rumble was jerking spasmodically as Derpy let him wind down from edging.

That left Derpy's mouth free. She began crawling over the colt as if to mount him, but then stopped part-way, moved her head to the side, and gave Sparkler's shaft a solid lick. This came as a shock since she'd completely forgotten she had it, she was so wrapped up in watching other ponies.

Sparkler's surprise made her miss Rumble saying, "I'm supposed to come in you. Now good?"

Derpy nodded, and shifted to the side off of Rumble; this put her in a 69 with Sparkler, and she got to work on her daughter. Sparkler looked down her body to the blowjob, but her having a penis was just too wrong in her mind, so she looked away. She stared up at her mother's teats which she had lately been licking, and glanced back towards her mother's tail, and Rumble approaching to mount. Once her eyes' signals weren't being registered, the feeling on her penis was enjoyable, and strong. It may have looked wrong, but it felt very, very right.

Rumble pressed forward and groaned. Derpy's front collapsed forward onto Sparkler; she abandoned the blowjob. Rumble's penis slapped against Sparkler's face, but her attention fixed on her mother's cunt, right in front of her. Sparkler levitated Rumble's penis into position, and he slipped in. Their sex was too close to her face for her eyes to focus on the closest parts.

She stuck her tongue out and Rumble slid against it, his slow inward strokes pushing her tongue to her mother's clit. Then he pushed harder, and the pressure pushed Sparkler's head down and back - she couldn't face it any more. She moved her head to the side and watched Night Light pounding away on Celestia, while Twilight Velvet sat back and accepted head from Rainbow Dash.

She squirmed her head around to the other side, where she could see enough of Scootaloo's legs that she figured out that Scootaloo was sitting on Derpy's shoulders, facing Rumble, where they were presumably kissing. Past that, Thunderlane had Fluttershy pressed up against the head of the bed, kissing her chest and belly frantically, working his way down.

Rumble's motions shifted to pressing upward, allowing Sparkler to look up at the fucking again. His penis throbbed, and then he was still. "Uh, sorry if that was quick. Don't know if I got more than twenty thrusts in."

Derpy shook her head. "It's all right. I have more coming. Bigger uncle, it's your turn."

After a moment, Thunderlane recognized that she was referring to him. He glanced at her, then looked back to Fluttershy. She nodded, and he disengaged from her. Rumble slowly pulled out. A spattering of semen dripped onto Sparkler's face, then more came as his tip slapped her cheek. She straightened her head, looked into his eyes, and opened her mouth.

He leaned forward and let her clean it off.

It tastes… really, really neutral. Like tofu tapioca, or something. I was expecting at least salty, but not really? I guess a little. But that look on his face… I can see what Rainbow Dash meant, even if she was just relaying what she's read or heard, just like I have.

She enveloped Rumble's penis in her mouth for a moment. In contrast to the semen, her mother's scent was strong. Another drop of Rumble's semen landed on the outside of her throat, dropped from her mother.

Rumble pulled away, and as Thunderlane slipped into place, Sparkler leaned forward and gave her mother's vulva a lick. But then she backed off and opened her mouth for Thunderlane's cock. He allowed it to slide in to her mouth. Nothing really new there. Sparkler gently spat it out and smiled at him. He crawled forward and did not need any assistance to begin fucking his older niece.

Once he was in, Starlight let him resume full size. That gave Sparkler the room to move her head, and she took full advantage, sucking on that point of joining, on her mother's clit, on Thunderlane's shaft.

Thunderlane pulled Derpy up with one hoof, pulling her body up against his and tightening his legs, pinning Sparkler's head in place between his thighs. She lost the angle to do what she'd been doing, so she settled for licking Thunderlane's balls.

Given the room to act, somepony began kissing her inner thighs. With her severely constrained view aiming almost directly away, she could only see that it wasn't Luna or Starswirl. She could hear Twilight Velvet coaching Rainbow Dash on eating her pussy, and the sound of Night Light's rhythm on Celestia hadn't let up. A softer murmur was probably Scootaloo talking with Rumble. What does that leave? Fluttershy and… whatever.

She melted into a puddle of enjoyment as whoever that was between her legs made it to the outside of her right labia majora. She spread her legs as wide as she could. Momentarily, a second tongue joined in on her left labia majora. Not sure who the other is. Like I thought earlier, whatever.

Focused as she was on what was happening to her, she was unprepared for Thunderlane's squeezing her head as he came.

The pressure on her head amplified the effects down below and she gasped. Thunderlane withdrew, letting her bring her face back up, just in time to catch a stream of his and Rumbles' spunk spewing out of Sparkler's mother, and onto the bridge of her nose, up across her eyes (hastily shut), and into her mane.

When Sparkler figured her right eye hadn't been touched, she opened it and looked up into her mother's face. "Hey." she said, uselessly.

Derpy licked the closed eye clean as she rocked back and forth gently, pressing her weight down onto her daughter, grinding hips. "Want to?"

Sparkler nodded.

Her mother drew herself forward. Somepony helped them line up, and Derpy pushed backward.

Sparkler realized with bizarre burst of memory that she'd been fucking her mother earlier, too. But before it was just… this ghost in control. And now, she was. She pondered the irony that maybe if the ghost had just finished things right there, then her mother and she could have just gone back to normal afterwards. But with this choice being made, there was no way. But that wasn't bad.

Plus, it felt amazing. Part of that could be attributed to Scootaloo and Rumble having been - and continuing - eating her pussy out. Part of that could be having Luna moaning in ecstasy at her right. But the bulk of it was her mother's cunt around her penis. She wasn't sure how long that was going to last, and it still felt strange and bizarre, but the sheer pleasure overwhelmed the awkwardness.

Fluttershy approached from the side, and Sparkler looked to her instead of her mother's face above her. Fluttershy asked, "Are you fertile right now?"

"What? Uh… I haven't been tracking?"

Starlight commented, "She isn't."

Fluttershy nodded and continued, "Can my boyfriend fuck you? Starlight thinks that'll help attract the ghost better."

"Uh, okay. I can cast Sea Mane's Removal…"

"Don't! We're trying to get your mother pregnant, and it could… do too much."

"Oh, right."

After a bit of shuffling, Thunderlane was lying on his side past her rear end, and with a bit of a levitational assist from Starlight Glimmer, he got his cock lined up.

He pushed. He pushed Sparkler several inches up the bed in the attempt to enter, but her vagina did not open for him. Recognizing the problem, Starlight shrunk him down, and he tried again. Unfortunately, his initial failure had made him lose his erection. Rumble slid into place and Sparkler nodded to him. He slid right in.

Sparkler's bizarre displaced feelings from her penis took on a new form, as she attempted to interpret signals from her vagina. It felt if she was un-pooping his penis. She clenched her anus… yes, Rumble had not gone in the back door - she was just confused about her body layout. As he gently thrust and Scootaloo licked where they were fucking, Derpy matched their rhythms, moving strictly contrary. Then she sped up for a moment and had a little bit of a phase lead - she pushed back just before Rumble pushed in, and pulled up just before he pulled back.

Sparkler heard an argument elsewhere in the room, but paid it no mind. This was heavenly. She heard a loud creaking as Luna got up, but didn't register that that was what the sound was from. She did register that Rumble paused in fucking her. He even pulled out, and she let out a deep breath.

She finally listened in. Starlight was saying, "You didn't object to anything else going on here. Lots of mares on mares…"

"Yeah, but…" Thunderlane whined. Derpy stopped, impaled fully, and looked over her shoulder at her uncles.

Rumble said, "You haven't been affected long like us or hard like those two, so you're still straight. Makes sense. So you go in front. I'll take up the rear."

"That's my butt you're talking about!"

"But you don't have to perform, just let it happen."

Rainbow Dash taunted, "After fucking your niece with your brother's sperm in her and getting prepped by your grandniece, you're worried about your butt. Sheesh, what a pussy. I mean, you'll be balls deep in your grandniece at the time. It's not like you need to worry about our thinking you're gay."

Fluttershy added, "Not that that would be a problem. If you were bi, I mean. Gay would be a biit of a problem, since I'd like to keep dating you and if you were gay you wouldn't want to. But I know you aren't."

Thunderlane nodded. "Yeah, I'm not. I guess on top of everything else this isn't so big. Especially what everypony else has done. Is doing. All right. Sparkler, take a break. Starlight, make me little."

Thunderlane was momentarily much smaller. Derpy moved a little up and down on Sparkler before pausing again to let Thunderlane line up sideways behind Sparkler again. This time Thunderlane slipped in easily. His penis felt much like Rumble's had - at least, until Starlight released the spell and he returned to full size.

That… was a major stretch. Sparkler felt quite uncomfortable, and tapped him with her rear hoof. He stopped, and softened some, which helped.

Then Rumble got into position. His brother's butt was over the edge of the bed, which was a bit high. Starlight moved over the stool Night Light had used to mount Celestia. Thunderlane grunted, and there was some fumbling.

Rumble finally got a good angle, and with some help (including a lube spell from Night Light) and encouragement (though that was mostly aimed at Thunderlane), he managed to get into his brother.

The rhythm was hard to settle down. Eventually, Rumble drove, starting a wave - he'd push Thunderlane, who'd push Sparkler, who'd push Derpy. Sparkler noticed that with the distractions, she was getting a little numb. It was going to be hard to come, perhaps.

Starlight carefully warned them, "This is going to be the hard part. The ghost is going to leave you. Keep going anyway."

Sparkler wondered what that would imply until Rumble came in his brother. The smoke cleared so suddenly she finally noticed that it had been clearing for minutes. Then Thunderlane paused.

Starlight growled, "Keep going."

Thunderlane hesitantly resumed, and picked up the pace, and after half a minute, came in Sparkler. All of a sudden, Sparkler's mind cleared further, and she no longer thought all of this was her fetish. It was just a weird thing they were doing together against all rules.

She looked around in a panic until she found Celestia's face. That warm, comforting, approving face. Sparkler gathered her wits and fucked her mother with the urgency the task deserved.

Her mother came, hard, screaming, flailing, flapping. And at the last moment before Derpy collapsed and ruined the angle, Sparkler followed her over the edge.

Her cum mixed with her uncles', and she could feel something snap into place. The ghost was there, near the tip of her penis.

Derpy rolled off of Sparkler. "Oh Celestia."

"Yes?", asked the invoked individual.

"Thanks. That was good."

"You're welcome, though I think somepony else deserves more of the credit."

Starlight coughed. "We're nearly done."

Thunderlane pulled out of Sparkler as he asked, "There's more?"

"No more sex. We need to go for a walk without cleaning up. Escorts are fine. We don't want to attract attention, so we'll leave the princesses behind?"

Sparkler felt the semen trailed across her face, and dripping from her cunt. She rolled around to face Starlight, and asked, "You want me to go out like this?"

"Precisely. It's late evening now, and I'll make sure you aren't brightly illuminated, and we'll all surround you while you're foal-sized."

Sparkler coughed. "What happens if we don't?"

"Ghost doesn't get glued down. We have to do it all again."

Sparkler groaned and got up. "All right."

The walk was very straightforward. Sparkler barely saw anything through the dense formation. She noticed Spike put a claw gently across her shoulder, walking alongside. She felt peculiarly dizzy, drained. She focused on that claw, until the walk was over and it wasn't there anymore. She was in the kitchen. For a minute, all she could do was blink. Partway through, she noticed she didn't have a penis anymore.

But her mother gently got her moving, guiding her up. She was surprised to find as she passed by it that her mother's bedroom was spotless and did not smell at all. Princesses as maids?

She headed straight to the bath, and her mother went in with her. They washed each other simply, with neither a hint of sex nor awkwardness nor shame. They went to sleep in their own beds. Starlight dropped by to drop off Dinky, who visited them both and asked how it went.

Sparkler considered this very carefully in far more detail than she could report. She finally said, "It was good."

Author's Note

There is more - the story is not done - but I think this is a good point to set it aside for a time, so I can get the shape of the next arc nailed down, and work on other stories.

So as not to give the wrong impression of how things have been left, I'll call this story done and what follows from here a sequel. After all, the avalanche itself is over.

Thunderlane

Author's Note

Taking care of some details before proceeding…

Thunderlane

Thunderlane answered a knock at the door and found Rumble and Scootaloo. "That didn't take too long. Good. Rumble, get back to work."

Scootaloo held up a wing. "About that. Twilight seems to have cured him. I don't think there'll be any more of… what he was probably doing in there."

Thunderlane gave her a level look. I suspected they might say something like that. After four seconds, he said, "He did this because of magic?"

"It was a, what do you call it… where's Sweetie Belle when you need her?"

Rumble suggested, "Significant contributing factor?" Scootaloo nodded.

Thunderlane shrugged. "At the very least, he ought to clean up after himself."

Scootaloo offered, "If this is what I think it is… unicorns are much better at that. Sweetie Belle would be very unsurprised about whatever she'll find here, and I know she can help. If the main point is getting it clean, I think asking her a favor would be more effective."

Thunderlane facehoofed gently in thought. I remember the lessons. Freaking unicorns with their super convenient powers. Now, as for the excuse… It's not like I can't remember when Sombra took me over, and there was the incident with that doll… under that kind of influence I couldn't blame him. But there are weaker influences, and we can't just be off the hook if we've been nudged. "How does this rate on a scale from 1 is a shot of hard cider to 10 is Sombra?"

Rumble coughed. "Three or four? I should have restrained myself better. It seems like everypony else did."

Scootaloo put in, "Sweetie didn't, and we never asked what Apple Bloom did, but given what she probably would have done, I wouldn't be surprised if she tried it… and we don't know anything about the others."

Rumble swallowed and nodded. "Okay, maybe they just didn't get caught."

Thunderlane asked Scootaloo, "What about you?"

She grinned puckishly. "I wasn't affected in the first place. Got nothing to hide, nossir." Her gaze shifted away from him, suddenly nervous. Of course a kid that age has something to hide. Outside the scope of the spell, though.

Thunderlane took a deep breath. "All right. Let's see how clean Sweetie Belle can get this. As long as you understand this was–"

Rumble supplied, seriously, "Absolutely unacceptable."

Thunderlane gauged his look, then nodded. "Okay."

Scootaloo and Rumble ran off, and Rainbow Dash immediately dropped off of a cloud. "Hey."

Thunderlane raised an eyebrow. "Were you listening in?"

"Yeah, I was hit too, I'd say it was a four myself. Say, are you single?"

Thunderlane's eyes widened. "We can't date. We're both Wonderbolts."

"Not me, I'm just the go-between."

"Umm. Go-between? Like in the early chapters of the kamare sutra? Ponies actually do that?"

"They do if they're really timid and they have an awesome friend like me. So, are you single?" To his nod, she replied, "Great. So, want to date Fluttershy?"

He gulped. "Wow. Umm. She asked you to approach me?"

Rainbow Dash nodded. "Yup, you lucky dog, you."

He blinked, then exclaimed, "Yes! Uh, shall I go over and arrange it, or does she want you to keep ferrying messages for us?"

"I'll ask her. Dinner after tomorrow's practice?"

Thunderlane considered. "Works for me."

"Sweet!" Rainbow Dash exited at mach 0.8.

Thunderlane goggled. "Fluttershy asked me out. Sweet Celestia. That's one heck of a groupie."

He turned and found that Discord was standing in his front door, coiled up so as to take up the whole frame. "Gah! Oh no. Do you not want me to?"

Discord held up his paw. "I want her to be happy. If you stay together and you are good to her, that's good. If you end up breaking up, and you are thoughtful and decent about it, that's all right. I admit I will be a little jealous of her attention, but I, the spirit of chaos, am about as interested in sex as your toaster is, so I'm going to have to let some other pony in to her life at some point or watch her being miserable."

Thunderlane nodded, controlling his terror.

Discord unwound a little. "That said, it'd be best if we got along between us. I'm not going anywhere, and it just might make me less jealous. Do you play… Ogres and Oubliettes?"

Thunderlane blinked in confusion, then shook his head. "I could." To get the Lord of Chaos on board with my dating Fluttershy? Definitely.

"All right. Come by the castle at 7 in two days." He snapped his talon and vanished.

Thunderlane tensed, then relaxed. A deep breath. This has been a completely insane day.

Then, of course, Sweetie Belle trotted up. "Hi! Ready for me to clean up?"

Thunderlane shuddered. It's not over yet. "I guess so?"

She nodded and slipped in past him. "All right, where is it?"

Thunderlane pointed to the sofa, which had a fairly broad sudsy spot. Sweetie zeroed in on it. "That's all? I was expecting him to have turned the room into a Jackson Fetlock painting." Her horn lit, and there was a slight crackling sound. Then another spell, and the soap lifted off. As she carried the soap glob off to the kitchen, she said, "Too bad I can't tell if it worked. Practice on casting that properly is good, but it's a lot less helpful if I can't tell if I did it right. Let's check to see if you missed any spots…" She lifted the cushions. "Aha! Found one!" She put the cushion down, focused, and the small spot disappeared with a small crackle. She hoofpumped, then set about searching the area. "Got it after all. Thought that sound wasn't just soap bubbles popping."

Thunderlane looked on, mildly stunned. She seems to be taking this… with an unexpectedly low level of embarrassment. A side-effect of… whatever it was? "So, Twilight said it was cured?"

Sweetie Belle nodded without interrupting her search for stray bits of Rumble's spooge. "Yup. Still not sure how it happened, but at least we can get rid of it if it crops up again. Okay, looks like this is all clean." She looked back at it, then pulled a cloud of dust, hair, and feather fragments out of it with her magic. "Well, now it's all clean." She looked to the door. "I have some other things I need to get done, so…"

"Yes, you can go. Thank you." After a minute, Thunderlane finally relaxed, convinced that nothing else dramatic was about to happen. And this time, he was correct.

Announcements

Author's Note

Something just felt off about this and I couldn't put my finger on it, so I held it and tweaked. Sorry for the delay...

Announcements

The rest of the week passed as various ponies tried to hack at the math and otherwise find options. Most of the guests had dispersed back to their various origins, only Starswirl remaining to monitor the time loop, participate in planning, and help Twilight with the lock. The Apples returned to normal dreams, and with Applejack having agreed to participate in the orgy, Apple Bloom no longer felt the need to push her. Fluttershy and Thunderlane continued dating, but things did not progress between them at a lightning or even an accelerated pace. Even Twilight calmed down, now that she had a plan. Indeed, it outwardly seemed that everything had returned to normal.

On Monday afternoon at 4, Celestia sent a letter to Twilight announcing the return of her intrusive thoughts. And with that confirmation, Twilight felt it was time to hold a press conference, which she scheduled for the next day. This was unusual for a princess in her time off, and as such there wasn't much of a press pool in Ponyville, but several reporters came down from Canterlot anyway.

Spike directed them to the library, and once they were seated, Twilight walked in and set up the recording spell.

"Thank you for coming. I have made a discovery which it would be best to share immediately. Due to various unusual events - visions, inadvertent ambient mind control, personal interviews, examination of ancient magic, et cetera, we have discovered that long ago, King Sombra turned Princess Skyla into a ghost. Eventually, she made her way to Ponyville, which she has lately been haunting. The best solution is to bring her back into the world. Therefore, I shall shortly be conceiving her."

The reporters interrupted their shorthoof notes to share astonished looks. Twilight gave them a short period to finish before continuing.

"That is, I will arrange for a foal to gestate within my womb, but there will be no 'lucky stallion' involved, as I imagine you were stumbling over. I must artificially optimize conditions for her return. There is a magical lock holding her back, and very specific conditions must be met. I will be doing this during a public demonstration that could well double as a foals' lecture on genetics." Her face betrayed a little eagerness as she added, "Yes, actually, that sounds like a good addition to the proceedings."

Her visage returned to placid blankness. "I expect to have the spells ready in around ten days, while I am assisting princess Celestia. I would like to do this before I spend two weeks as reigning princess, but if I have to delay until afterwards that will only inconvenience those affected here in Ponyville. Are there any questions? - Byline?"

Byline asked, "You can raise the dead?"

"I can reasonably attempt to restore any pony who died under a very specific spell only ever cast by Sombra at great length under laboratory conditions. So far as I can tell, Skyla is the only pony ever to be affected. If we discover others, I will arrange for their restoration as well." Twilight gestured that he could ask his followup question.

"What about the other three recently restored ponies?"

"I was not closely involved with that; it is, as far as I can tell, completely separate. It, too, is opportunistic and though it may be more widely applicable, is definitely not raising the dead. You may direct questions to Starlight Glimmer, Starswirl the Bearded, or Pinkie Pie. Buried Lead?" She was careful to pronounce her name properly, as in the metal.

Buried Lead asked, "What are you going to name the foal? Or have you not picked out a name yet?"

Twilight blinked. "It's a bit late to name her, as she's already named Skyla. Grapevine, you first."

"Will she remember that she's Skyla?"

"I don't know, and neither did Sombra. I suspect she does; certainly, it will be a lot more convenient if she remembers her earlier life. And hello - it's nice to meet you. If you would be so kind as to introduce yourself before your question?"

"Thank you, princess. I'm Pyramid Form, from the South Equestria Sun-Times. Two questions. How do you plan to work through your pregnancy?"

Twilight shrugged. "With a gradually escalating level of difficulty? I imagine the other princesses will provide additional help. In the event of catastrophe, I will be a bit less mobile toward the end. Princess Cadence managed it; I believe I can as well."

"Second - Do you think this will give you a greater appreciation for mothers and parents when making law and judgements? Especially single mothers?"

Twilight thought for a moment. "I already appreciated that quite a bit. As for being a single mother, I would be very hesitant to use myself as a model for their situation - most do not hold press conferences after deciding in advance that they will be single mothers, for instance. Additionally, I have a wide circle of strong friends, I could requisition servants at a whim if I desire them, et cetera. If I need a single mother's perspective, I will ask one the single mothers I know."

Pyramid followed up, "How many is that?"

Twilight considered. "Hmm. One jumps to mind. If you count widows with foals, a fair number. Hmm. Oh, another, yes. I have the feeling I'm forgetting somepony. Yes, Byline?"

"What do you say to the inevitable suggestion that you are already pregnant?"

"My eggs are petrified for use later in my hopefully-long life. As a side effect of this preservation, I will not get pregnant by accident. And before doing it on purpose, I would, at the very least, hold a press conference." She gestured to the reporters.

"'Later use'? You intend to have additional foals?"

"Eventually, after finding a special somepony, courting, marrying, and determining that's a thing we want to do, yes. Until then, no. Presto?"

"Can you give any diagrams of the magic involved?"

"Hmm. I suspect not; being based on Sombra's work, it's both fiendishly difficult and his end of it is simply fiendish. I would rather not publish a torture execution method, even if it's one that is more recoverable than most; and the recovery is based on that earlier part, so… no. Sorry!"

He nodded, and Pyramid raised a hoof. Upon Twilight's nodding at him, he asked, "Could you provide more details about how this situation was discovered?"

Twilight synopsized everything, describing the sexual thoughts only as 'thoughts seeming to belong to somepony else' and leaving out the orgy aspect of the unlocking procedure, instead describing it as a magical procedure requiring the efforts of three princesses, six elements, and additional support.

When the reporters finally left, Twilight found Sweetie Belle and Button Mash waiting outside.

She welcomed them and sealed the room after letting them in. Without explanation, she relaxed and declared, "I'm almost sorry they were so cooperative; I had such takedowns prepared as would be whispered-of for generations. But maybe they sound better in my head than they would be in reality. So, how are your plans, Button? I've been very pleased with your ideas on geometry. It might even be publishable work in the mathematics of directed graphs."

"It's not that, princess."

"'Princess'? Come now, Button. Once I've provisionally accepted a plan that involves our exchanging several bodily fluids, I think you can use my first name, at least in private." Her giggle faded as she saw how serious they were.

Sweetie fidgeted and finally said, "I'm pregnant."

Twilight frowned. "I thought you two were saving up for the big event."

They shook their heads, and Button explained, "It was Tempest. Before the meeting, we did test number 1 with her, and apparently her precum was… well, she didn't even go in, but it was enough. It's the only explanation we can think of. Tempest said she wasn't fertile, but…"

Twilight frowned. "Why would she say that? It's a barely-modified fertility spell. Well. I never told her it was. Actually, I didn't realize it at the time. Oh… oh no."

Sweetie urgently said, "What?"

"I must have told her she couldn't get me pregnant, but I would have meant just me. I really hope she hasn't been sleeping her way around the Crystal Empire." Twilight began hyperventilating. "Come on!"

She headed for the portal, barely remembering to go the way the reporters hadn't just left through and might still be lingering in. Sweetie and Button followed, barely keeping up as she made her way to and through the portal, taking them to the Crystal Empire, and from its portal straight to the ranger post. Twilight inquired - Tempest had just returned from a stint afield, and had declared her intention to spend the next day in bed. Twilight trotted in place while the clerk fetched her home address.

As they ran, Sweetie faltered. Button offered, "I can carry you."

After recovering, Sweetie rolled her eyes. "I'm only a week in. We only noticed because I was practicing the magic."

But they were falling behind, regardless the reason, so Twilight levitated them both and took off flying. A minute later, they'd come to the correct house. Twilight set them both down and knocked gently. Silence. Then, from the upstairs window, a deep moan. Twilight opened the door and ran upstairs, shouting, "Stop!"

She burst into Tempest's bedroom, discovering the mare surrounded by the Super-Seedy Spider-Squeezy 6000, a dildo pistoning in and out of her cunt while she plied the side of her penis with a feather. Her face was already plastered with her own semen. Twilight calmed and took a few deep breaths.

Tempest languorously eyed Twilight. "Well, are you just going to stand there?"

Sweetie slipped in after Twilight and giggled. Button gulped as his gaze fell upon her.

Tempest looked on this in confusion, then alarm. "What… oh no."

Twilight nodded. "When I said you couldn't get me pregnant…"

"You meant you couldn't get pregnant. Crap. Sorry, kids. So… so… sorry." She reached over and turned off the squeezy. It smoothly pulled out of her and she sat up on her haunches. "So. I understand there's a spell to move the kid from her to me, right?"

Twilight blinked. "Y-yes, actually. It's a lot easier to perform if you're the one accepting the embryo, but I've been working on a third-party version for other reasons, and I might be able to pull it off. So… have you, ah… maybe gotten any other mares pregnant?"

Tempest shook her head, then again more vigorously to clear it. She pitched forward onto her hooves and headed to the kitchen. "I was on assignment, and the only use I got out of the penis was aiming my pee. I don't have tea. How do you take your coffee?"

"Dark, sweet, and strong." Twilight grinned as if to convey that she was holding back 'like my mare' but Tempest wasn't facing her. Just as well. I don't really want an enduring relationship with her.

Tempest wearily said, "Good. I'll be switching to decaf soon, might as well use up the strong stuff up." She emptied the pot into a cup. "Should still be hot. You two? Pot's empty, so I can make whatever you want."

Button said, "Color of my coat, decaf."

Sweetie nodded. "Same. Er - his coat, not mine."

A glance at her milk-white coat, and Tempest chuckled. "You're lucky I have any. It's an Abyssinian blend. Really got used to the loot the army was carrying when I joined. When I found it in the market, I just had to get it."

Twilight offered to grind it for her, and Tempest nodded. A moment later, the beans had become a brown cloud from which she allowed a rich flavor to leak, quickly filling the room. She drew some water into the air from the tap, pulled out unwanted minerals, instantly heated it, passed the brown cloud through it, then split the blob into the two mugs Tempest had drawn forth, with the rest going into the coffee pot.

Tempest gave Twilight an incredulous look as she fetched a tin of cookies. "Dang, girl. If that princess gig doesn't work out, you could run a performance-art coffee shop."

Twilight smirked at her, but Tempest was already focused on Sweetie, who was adding milk.

"So, Sweetie Belle, was it? Good. What's your family's naming convention? Mine is to combine parents and grandparents' names somehow. That's how you end up with a monstrosity like 'Fizzlepop Berrytwist'. I think we could tone it down, use just two names. Who are your parents? Or do you not want to acknowledge your role?"

Sweetie looked to Button. "As long as I don't have to bear the foal myself… I think I can deal with it. My parents are Cookie Crumbles and Hondo Flanks."

Twilight leaned the chair back and held with her coffee in her hooves. Her heart was still slowing after finding that Tempest hadn't been busy increasing the population by more than one.

"Hondo Flanks, the hoofball announcer? Huh. Must be rough, with him traveling so much."

"Yeah, I was mostly raised by my sister Rarity - once I was big enough, Mom went with him rather than staying with me."

"Hmm. Maybe mix my father Sugar Pop, and your mom, to get Sugar Cookie? Meh. Hmm. How about Sugar Belle?"

Twilight's collapse to the floor combined with spit take and throwing the coffee mug out the window, followed by a minute-long coughing fit was, regrettably, not caught on camera.

~~~~

Sugar Belle gaped. "You're my mom and … dad?"

Starlight nodded. "Yup, once I relaxed the requirement that the father had to be a stallion and the mother had to actually bear the foal, it came out immediately. Your genetic parents are Sweetie Belle and Tempest Shadow."

Sweetie nervously glanced down at her feet.

Starlight grinned maniacally. "And guess who the gestational mother is?"

Sugar Belle shrugged. This revelation is turning out to be a bit underwhelming. My parents didn't have some tragic story behind them after all, just a weird magical accident layered within another weird magical thing.

Starlight poked her with a hoof. "Come on. Who would you want it to be?"

"Uh… Tempest seems better suited than Sweetie?"

"Be more creative. Could this solve a problem of yours?"

"Hmm. Solve a problem… Wait a moment. If Tempest could be a father, then could a stallion be a mother? Could I get Big Mac pregnant?"

Starlight was not to be deterred. "Sure, but you'd still… well, I guess that would solve your problem, probably."

Sugar Belle didn't stick around to hear anything past 'Sure', instead galloping off to the orchard. Starlight chased after her. Tempest looked to Sweetie. "You know, if she does that, then they're going to realize how much of it was a magical mistake and how much was the usual kind of mistake."

Sweetie looked up to her. "I'm sure we could cook up some excuse. Or just take our lumps."

Tempest nodded. "Used to that."

Granny Smith walked in and sat down creakily on an even creakier chair. "All right, so, welcome to the family, you two. Applejack! Come meet your brother's mother and father in law!"

Applejack's hoofbeats were immediately audible.

Sweetie Belle groaned. "How long have you known?"

Applejack skidded in. "What was that you said?"

Granny Smith pointed to Sweetie and Tempest. "I just found out these two are Sugar Belle's long lost parents."

Applejack raised an eyebrow. "Seriously? Uh, how."

Granny leaned forward in the chair, and eyed the subtle bump Tempest's flaccid cock was retracted into. Applejack followed her gaze. "Well, ain't that something. You two get drunk?"

Sweetie shook her head. "It was actually a magical experiment about that thing, you know which. It involved simulating sex. Our simulation was a little too good. But still, she didn't even go in! Just, super powered sperm or something."

Granny shook her head, softly laughing, then coughing. After recovering, "Wish it were that easy for me. On the other hoof, if it had, I'd a never met my husband."

Applejack slowly turned her head. "Because you were going to the grand rodeo? That was real?"

Granny nodded.

Applejack swallowed.

Granny sat back in the chair. "Well, get over to the kitchen and tell your ma to add two plates for supper."