Avalanche from a Flurry

Twilight Sparkle, upon reviewing the stallions she knew, came to the names of Flim and Flam. The revulsion she felt immediately threw her off track. Still, before moving on, she realized she hadn't seen them up to anything lately, and it might be more efficient to go after them before they got their next con going, rather than after. She inquired with the post office as to their current address. A few days later, she received a response and traveled to Las Pegasus to give them a visit.

When she walked in to their office, the one with the mustache and three quarters apple cutie mark jumped in shock, but recovered and greeted her. "Princess Twilight Sparkle! Welcome to our humble office, our workshop, our laboratory." He drew this last word out. Then, to the rear, he called, "Flim! We have a visitor!" As Flim swooshed into the room, Flam continued, with some degree of confusion, "To what do we owe the extreme pleasure of being able to receive your visit?"

Twilight forced a smile and recited what she'd worked out, "I was thinking back to the various times we've met. And usually you two had a good idea that could have made money, and you just decided to take it too far. You could have made decent cider at a decent price. Your medicine did appear to do something, at least before you replaced it with something cheaper, that didn't do anything at all." She glared at them, but relaxed. "You could have set up a branch campus of the friendship school - with oversight, I might have even approved it."

"Really." Flim seemed unconvinced by that last assertion.

"As I said, with oversight. Anyway, I haven't seen what you're up to lately, and if there's a chance that what you're doing could be a good thing, I'd like to… shall we say, intercede before your salesman instincts kick in and you oversell it and turn it into something… not so good."

Flim and Flam exchanged looks, eyebrow wiggles, shakes of the head, nods, and finally a sudden turn to look at Princess Twilight Sparkle. Then, speaking in turn, they said, "Your highness / We would be pleased to have you try our latest invention. We believe that this is just such a thing. It is a good machine. / And yet I can, regrettably, see a possibility in which our sales could get ahead of our quality controls. / So we would be quite happy to have somepony looking over our shoulders so we do not ruin things. / Again."

Twilight Sparkle took a deep breath, and her smile became a bit less forced. Still, caution would be prudent. "I would suggest you demonstrate it on one of yourselves, first. Also, my location and business are known."

Flim coughed in shock. "Seriously? You think we would…"

"By accident, perhaps."

Their mouths worked silently for a moment. Flim looked to Flam. "Give it a final check."

Flam asserted, "It's fine."

Flim hissed, "Check it anyway."

Flam glanced once at Twilight, and ran to the back room.

Flim led the way at a more restrained pace, and got into his sales pitch. "After a day of exhausting work…"

"Flim? Please do me a favor and just tell me its name and what it does."

Flim gurgled a little as they entered a room with a table with funny devices attached around its edge. "Well, we are still working out the name, but provisionally speaking, the name is just… what it does. It is the fully automatic modular neck, body, leg, wing, and horn massage table. Flam likes to call it the FAMoNBoLWHoMT, but I just call it the table. We are still thinking of a name, but it may please you to know that improving its operation is already a higher priority than naming it."

Twilight nodded. "It's certainly… imposing. What's your business plan?"

"What aspect do you have in mind?"

"Who will you sell to? Individuals? It's rather large for a home. What sort of organization would buy one? One of those Sillicolt Valley companies with lots of perks? Perhaps set it up somewhere public in Las Pegasus or some other resort, and let it be coin-operated?"

Flam pulled his head out from under the machine. "All excellent ideas! We will see what price point we can achieve while still retaining quality, and base our marketing accordingly." He pulled out the rest of the way and gave Flim the go-ahead.

Flim added, "For the bit-op market, we are hoping to have good enough quality that we can charge two thirds as much as a massage at a spa."

Flam added, "And there are a few things we can do that a spa cannot." Flim raised his eyebrows and gulped at that.

Then Flam hopped on the table belly down and put a hoof on the controls. "Dial to control overall strength of movement." He turned the dial, and after a click as it got off the zero position, a small fire lit under a tank mounted beneath the table. Momentarily, the attachments approached Flam and began kneading his back.

Flim put in, "The steer-yearling engine activates quickly and is very quiet."

Flam continued, "Multi-position switches to activate and control the relative strength of each module - disengaged, low, medium, full power. The overall power dial goes up to ten, but we don't recommend going beyond four."

Flim clarified, "We recently changed some internal workings, and haven't adjusted the dial's scale to compensate yet."

Twilight Sparkle nodded. "Thank you for the warning. I will be careful with the power."

Flam added, "Even at ten, it's merely… uncomfortable. It's still safe." He turned the dial up to ten, for a few moments, and he was squeezed rather hard. As he turned the machine off, he noted, "Turning off attachments doesn't make the remaining attachments get stronger, so you don't need to worry about focusing a huge amount of force onto one part by accident."

The arms retracted, and he got off. Twilight was about to get on when he held a hoof out. "Sanitizing wipe first, princess. We don't want to spread anything. We are working on doing this automatically as the machine shuts down, but, well, it's not so simple to do."

Flim said, "We are encountering enough difficulty with sanitization that for coin-op, it seems like we might need to provide gowns or have an attendant by to clean after each run. We would prefer to avoid this, for obvious reasons."

Twilight nodded approvingly as he cleaned every part of the device, somewhat ashamed that she hadn't thought of it. And another thing she hadn't thought of… "You do not have my permission to quote me or to photograph or otherwise record me. Do you agree not to do any of these things?"

Flim and Flam looked to each other, disappointment showing. "It would have been nice to have a princess's endorsement."

She amended, "You might be able to get one, but if so I will be doing so based on your final product, not a prototype, and I will do so intentionally. You may not steal this, but if you work honestly… good things can happen."

Flim gestured to the table. "In that case, your majesty…"

As she got on the table, she gently corrected, "Actually, for now, I'm just a highness. I'll be a majesty again in a week and a day, when I become the head of state again."

"My apologies, your highness."

She nodded. This may be the first time I've ever made that specific correction. Titles seem appropriate here. Her attention came to the control panel. There was the outline of an alicorn there. Various switches around the body were mostly pulled in to the second-to-closest setting, while others were in the outermost: the wings, and horn, and those for the lower legs. She left them in their settings, and turned the dial up to 1.

As the machine chuffed alive, Flim quickly advised, "Slip your wings out along here to give the body massager access? I'll pull out the tray." She complied, and moments later a very light massage began on her side and back. She put the dial up to 2. That was all right.

Flam suggested, "Perhaps you'd like to try the wings?"

Twilight reached out with a hoof and nudged the wing switch on the left inward from 'disengaged' to 'low'. A few seconds later, there was a very gentle rippling across her wings. "Wow, that's different. I've never had anything like it."

And so she activated the leg and horn attachments. When the foreleg attachment activated, the control panel swung within range of her nose. And she just lay there and relaxed. By changing up the settings and adjustments, she could get it to be nearly as good as the spa's massages, as they'd promised.

Flim happily said, "Well, you seem to be enjoying this. Do you think we're on the up-and-up?"

Twilight nodded. "You seem to still be in that phase, yes, which means I visited you at the right time. Now, this last switch... the one at the bottom of the diagram, under the center line, between the rear legs. What does that do?"

Flam nervously laughed. "Well, your highness, I, ah."

"Is this one of the things that spas cannot do? Legally speaking, that is?"

Flim coughed. "Er, yes."

"I see." Twilight considered. She deactivated the machine and slowly got up.

Flam gave her a moment before supplying, "But it is legal for a machine, I understand."

"Oh yes, no doubt about that. I was merely thinking about how this changes the market. Also, I was previously going to say I ought to get one for a friend - that is, Granny Smith, whom you may remember - but now that I know it does 'that' as well, that would sound… disingenuous. But no matter - it isn't ready for sale yet anyway."

Flim and Flam wiped their brows. Flim offered, "So we will put you down for two on preorder?"

Twilight Sparkle smirked. "No. You aren't far enough along to take preorders, are you? You don't have a repeatable production process, only a prototype under development. Do you even have a plan for production? Honestly, here. I am not trying to bust you. I am trying to save you."

Flim seemed to deflate. "We haven't gotten that far."

Twilight stretched. "Well. There are some things you can do to keep bits flowing in. The prototype appears to function well enough to be worth paying for, which is a good start even if it just helps slow your bleed while you're working out the production details. And once a professional machine shop is making it, they'll handle maintaining the quality, and that'll leave you two free to handle refinement of the design, and sales."

After sharing a look with his brother, Flam said, "I say, Flim. Going straight does sound like a possibility after all."

"What sort of scam were you planning, if you don't mind my asking?"

He immediately backpedalled, "Oh, nothing! Nothing at all! We always aim to. We just…"

Twilight narrowed her eyes. That seemed doubtful. "Well. I'm watching you. But if you can keep it together…" And with that, she pulled out fifteen bits. In response to Flim's appearing to be about to say something, she said, "Don't even think of haggling. I was on there for a few minutes. But you did me good, so there you go."

The brothers were taken aback, unsure what to say; she began to leave, and they saw her to the door. Turning and smiling, she cheerily said, "And if I get any hint of you claiming endorsement, using my likeness, image, or anything else that you would reasonably expect me to disapprove of… well, I believe there are no unoccupied cages in Tartarus. So you'd each have a new roommate! But if you run into trouble, as you well may, you have alternatives to cheating and getting to know Tirek a little better. I could employ you for something totally unrelated. I could buy the prototype."

Flam frowned. "How would we get it into production without the model?"

"You have drawings, don't you?" As she looked at them, she sighed. "You don't have drawings. No wonder. I'll lend - rather, the library I run will lend you a book about how to make mechanical drawings. A regular library loan, same terms as anypony else who asks. Also, if you are going to take more than a few months, I think you could do better to move out of the second highest cost of living area of Equestria. In the course of my being head of state, I've noticed that Vanhoover and Baltimare both have cheap warehouse space, affordable food and parts, and better access to a wider variety of parts than you have here. Yes, they're boring cities compared to Las Pegasus, no doubt."

Flim and Flam were crestfallen at all this telling-them-what-to-do, so Twilight added, "Look. You two are smart. You have talent. Isn't it good news if all you need to really make it, can be done so easily? Read a book, write down what you've done, and then work less hard than you were planning to work in the first place?"

Flim perked up. "Why yes, brother of mine, that does sound like a plan we can follow."

Flam, eyes narrowed, shallowly nodded. "Yes, I think we can."

"And if you can, you will find it very rewarding." She winked, and left.

Oh Celestia, why did I say it like that? They might think I'd want to screw them. Her wings did not freeze, but her brain did. Well. I could. I think I have them intimidated into not mentioning anything, and though I'm vastly superior to them in power, they're far from innocent, so somehow it seems less like I need to protect them. And if they can pull this off clean, then I might not find them repulsive, so… maybe? These thoughts finally surfaced onto her face as a grimace. No, this is a very stupid idea. Nope nope.