Spike and 'Shy: Super Sexy Spies!

~ II ~

Shy is Not so Shy

Liar. I never liked that word. I had been called many things in my life, both as an agent and an assistant, and by many ponies, from jerks to outright villains.

But none of them ever used that word against me.

Who was it that called me a liar incessantly?

Only myself.

And why was this the case?

Because during every perilous period in Equestria history, a letter would be sent to me, titled 'Royal Business.' It was the perfect excuse for me to spend a weekend away in Canterlot to complete whatever my duty as an agent required of me.

And the reason why I went? That's what I lied to Twilight about----all that so she would ultimately succeed as both a hero and a princess.

Even still.

I hated myself for it.

I walked across the red carted down the long, spacious hall. My claws were clasped together behind my head. I knew there was trouble when, upon reaching the tall, throne room doors that there were no guards posted.

There goes that idea! Would it be so hard, at least once, for Princess Celestia to use the royal summons letter as: 'Suprise! Here's a well deserved weekend vacation instead, Spike!'

But I only groaned as I pushed against the door. Another problem with having everything be hush-hush! I had to do everything everyone else was supposed to do for me.

"Who enters?"

"It's... your..." I threw my side against the bottom corner of the door, feeling every muscle in my body clench. The door slid forward... inch by inch. "...not so f-friendly..." By the time the door opened a crack, I had fell through the slit, colliding onto the red carpet, panting my every breath. "...and... and... doesn't live very close dragon..."

My tongue rolled down my chin. My eyes fell to the left, down yet another long carpet-----one that led to the throne which the snowy alicorn sat upon.

"It would appear you were able to make it after all." Princess Celestia smiled at the nearly dead me, flicking her muzzle to the tiny tea set next to the throne. "You seem parched. Would you care for some tea?"

I rolled onto my side, gazing across to Celestia. "N-No Cof-ffee?"

"You know how I feel about coffee, Spike." Princess Celestia shook her head while her majestic, prismatic mane continued to billow. "That is the vice of my sister. Do you work for my sister?"

I clicked his fangs. "Do you have sugar at all?"

"They're terrible for the very things your tongue just ticked against. Thanks for that, by the way." Celestia narrowed her eyes on the still panting me. "Despite my years, I still am in no need of glasses nor hearing aids. Remember that well."

"So long as you r-remember three sugars with my tea."

"Two sugars."

"As long as you use the big spoon----we have a deal."

"...very well."

I would have smiled, that was, if my lips weren't so set on drying out from my every, heavy breath. Rolling onto my stomach, I pressed my claws against the ground, straining my aching arms to push me up again.

And once I was standing, I then promptly dusted myself off, caught my breath, and took a step forward----only to hear Celestia clear her throat.

I blinked. "What?"

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

"That I left your 'How are you?' behind that heavy door?" Celesta's expression remained impassive at my words, causing me to narrow my eyes in sudden revelation. "You're kidding me! There's no way you want me to bow."

"All my subjects are subjected to at least one bow when in my presence." Celestia waved away a golden-clad hoof. "Even those close to me know to do the same."

"But you always tell them it's unessessary."

"Of course I do! We all have appearances to keep to, do we not, Mr. Inept?" Celestia rested her chin on the brought back hoof. "Despite my words, my little ponies all continue to do so. Do you know why?"

"Since I'm a little dragon instead, can I refuse to both answer and bow?"

"It's because my presence will always demand it for me. While my words may need to shift and change, the language of my body will always demand that which I truly desire."

I was one of the few that got to see the real Celestia. The level below what Twilight and her friends saw, though some of that character of the princess was for real.

And I liked the latter better.

"Can we count that fall and tumble as a half bow at least?" I scratched the back of his head, faint streams of moonlight cascading around me. "Or better yet, does your body accept tabs? Like I won't bow this time, but I'll do a double bow once the mission is done."

"Very well!" Celestia's horn lit gold, a sphere of magic appearing atop the table. It whirled a cup and kettle and tins all while she continued to face me. "I'll allow it."

I only held a digit in the air, confused as to how someone like Celestia could talk perfectly while making the perfect blend of tea----and without looking.

She's smug. And she has every right to be smug. Wait. Is that why I find her scary sometimes?

"Getting to see one of my top agents bow twice will make for quite the portrait on my wall!" Celestia then shot the glass of tea at me. I cowered, holding my arms over my face. "You don't mind holding a double bow for my painter, do you?"

The mug and shimmering liquid flung toward me. "H-How do you even hold a double bow!?"

Then it came. The hurdling objects of glass and liquid fire flew right into Me. In a second and with me flinching, the cup of tea smacked gently onto the extended digit of my left claw.

What in the heck was all of THAT about?

After a few seconds, the panic drained from my veins. With a few breaths of deep, cold air refreshing my lungs, I dared to open my eyes.

A golden aura continued to surround the cup. More than that, a pool of floating liquid hovered above the rim, contain in place.

Then the magic ceased. The liquid fell in a swirl like honey from a comb-end of a stick. Once poured, there wasn't even a droplet to contrast against the white surface.

"You wanna know something, Princess Celestia?" I started to stroll across the carpet, toward the throne, the path lit faintly by cascading moonlight. "I think that you show off when you're around me."

"Oh? And why would I ever do such a thing?"

"Because I would if I were you." I reached the base of the ascending throne steps and, deciding to be kind, then bowed. I held the cup up still in a toast. "It must suck! Having all that tremendous amount of magical power... and only being able to show a fraction of it."

Despite my head being lowered, I brought the cup to his lips, drinking, no, nearly slurping from it. "Not only that, but every time there's something big going down, you gotta pretend to be weak and stuff. Always being saved by Twilight. Twilight the savior."

I then stood up and leaned to the left. "You're telling all that doesn't bite your pride just a little bit? Why doesn't Twilight just run the castle since she saves it every other week?"

But Princess Celestia only levitated another cup of tea to her muzzle. She peered into it was reflective water of a clear pond. "La Vin Senola Malay."

I shuddered like a bolt of lightning shook my spine from the inside out. Pulling away from my mug, I too peered at the liquid----seeing the purple of my chubby face... and nothing of the depths that lingered behind it.

"The strong must be weak," I said in hushed, nearly strangled voice, "so the weak can be strong."

"I am the helpless," Celestia continued for me. "And you are the jester."

I groaned. "I've always hated that codename."

"But it suits you well enough, doesn't it?" Princess Celestia sipped from her tea, closing her eyes while she did so, indulging in bliss. "Everypony around you thinks you to be inept and powerless. And while your weakness is that you are still powerless----"

"But I'm not utterly inept either. Thanks for the self-reflection."

But Princess Celestia continued anyway. "This next mission, Spike. There's a reason why I called you in so early for it."

Spike only drank from his tea, which was bitter and tasted like what something healthy was supposed to feel like. There wasn't enough sugar to mask it. "Ninety-nine successful missions so far. You throwing a surprise party for my hundredth?"

Princess Celestia smiled genuinely. "If all goes well, it may be your friends that throw you the party."

There was no stopping it. The other-worldly feeling of the night, mixed with the absurd and godly nature of the princes, climaxed into the revelation and possible reveal of my secret identity.

"You don't mean that," the words were slipping past my lips before I even had the chance to stop them. "But the whole point of my friends thinking that I'm this inept, helpless dragon----"

"Indeed. The course of your thoughts and feelings are rather easily able to be seen." Princess Celestia set down the cup between her forehooves. "It's because nopony suspects a thing about you, that you can do so much for them."

She gave me a small smile. "I fear you don't pride yourself enough on this fact. That if you had not set the pieces needed before conflict in their proper places... that your friends would not have won most of their battles."

I ended up looking at my reflection once more, of the dragon that everypony else saw, and nothing of the agent beneath it all. My whole life was spent pretending to be useless to those I cared for, to those I admired, and never gaining their true thoughts and feelings to how useful I really was.

It was that swirling conflict that tore my core apart.

"But this is your hundredth missions. And those of the small court have decided that it should be your final one."

I shook my head. "B-But... I'm the best agent you've got! I haven't had an unsuccessful mission yet!"

"And that's exactly the reason why your retirement is needed." Celestia bowed her head. "Despite it all, you're one of our best agents yet. You don't have a failed mission on any of your records. If such a streak is to be maintained for too long, what do you think will happen to that agent?"

"I can handle the strain!"

"I do not doubt it," Princess Celestia said, a golden aura appearing around her mug once more. "And that's all the more reason for it."

Before any more words could be said, or anything could be done in response, I felt a presence behind me. Slow. Small. Hidden. Their softest step wouldn't have been enough to pick up by pony ears; the slits of my eyes narrowed at once.

But before I could even hope to turn, it felt something soft, black leather sliding over my neck and across my neck----then pressing a wire against my scales.

At once, my right elbow flew back, trying to nail the offender in the side. But they only hopped to the left, dragging me by the throat along with them. Another try at the left only produced the same result----except strangling me more of what little air I had left in my lungs.

All those moves, of course, were to confirm the skill of my opponent. Slender, but quick. Light, but placing their forelegs correctly on my pressure points to subdue me.

Once I knew the kind of foe I was dealing with, I acted. Telegraphing that I was going for another jab with my elbow, the figure tried leaping again, only when they pulled the wire against my throat, I then brought claw to it----slicing through the tightness of the cord with only a single digit.

While figure behind me leaped, I turned instead, hurling my open claws straight for their now exposed throat.

Ironic.

"Aren't you the brave one?" I said while the tips of my digits pierced through the black fabric, pressing against the coat of fur beneath. "And you may want to stay still. A dragon's claws are one of the sharpest things in the world."

I grinned up at the figure, their head covered by a long hood, a thick shadow protruding from its opening. "Right now? It's safe to assume you have eight knives sticking around your throat."

I then felt something rise along the figure's throat: a laugh. "So you are capable of rougher backside massages then, huh?"

"W-Wha?"

The reveal took me by surprise. Wings shot out from the sides of the suit, sweeping a gust of wind and dust and dirt and sand into my eyes. Blinded for no longer than a second, the figure then lifted into the air, raising its hind legs while it did so----bucking them right into my chest.

Wind blew around my flying body. My claws shot up at once, pressing down on the carpet, then pushing me back up. With my balance restored, I twirled in the air, coming to land on my feet and into a defensive stance.

"So what? You keep a little sand in your suit for special occasions?" I gave a quick wipe to my eyes. "Or did you have a similar fight with the beach one time?"

"If you think the sand was strange," the figure continued while bringing its clothed forehooves to the front of its hood, "then imagine my face when I found dragoncum hardening on the strands of my tail."

I blinked, shuddered, and felt my claws drop out of the air. Shaking my head, my voice was even more shakey: "W-What? No. It can't be!"

But when the figure pulled back its hood, my fears were indeed true, and my shame burned alive across my cheeks. "F-Fluttershy? But how? W-Why?!"

"Aww! Aren't you the most adorable little dragon." Fluttershy came down onto her forehooves, but used one to cover the giggles spilling past her lips. "Oh my. Did I call you little again?"

I went to step forward, to speak my mind, to express my heart, to rid myself of the building confusion and embarrassment building and beating against my chest.

But the next words were not from me, or from 'Shy, not even from Princess Celestia, who kept still and silent during the events. Instead, it came from behind the creaking of the throne doors.

"Cease teasing my sister's agent, Agent Sunny." Princess Luna entered the room to a flash of lightning streaking across every window present. "It your reports meant to do those deeds. Nothing more."

Fluttershy stepped to the side of the red-carpet at once, bowing her head. "My apologies, princess. Finally getting to tease Celesta's favorite on the way here has... placed me in the mood."

For once in my life, I had no clue how to act, since it wasn't an enemy before me, but as close to one as the pony could get. Stepping back, I glanced over my shoulder to Princess Celestia----who was already rising to tall stature from her throne.

"Dear sister of mine, is this how you've planned to do this? Granting the retirement of my best agent by giving him a heart attack first?" Princess Celestia walked down the steps of her throne, but remaining the tallest one here. "And to think, I was going to give you one of my best cups of tea!"

Yeah. That was Celestia alright. Her point always ended with tea somehow. Even then, tired of being the only confused one out, I threw myself into the scene. "Somepony mind catching me up before the rest of this conversation goes on?"

Luna turned her muzzle away from me, but still gave me a sidelong glare. "You're the top agent of the Sun section. Are you telling me you don't have the wits to put all the bits together?"

I then glanced over at Fluttershy, who was giving me a sultry smile. My mind exploded in revelation. Blinking, I shook my head. "Wait. Out of all the ponies, Fluttershy has been my agent nemesis?"

I then glared at her. "So the train then... you knew then!" My claw curled into a fist. "You were teasing me then because you knew! When did you find out?"

"Please. You're the new fry that rose through the ranks quickly." Fluttershy's forehoof flew to the collar of her cloak, and with a swing, threw it off her body----revealing the skin-tight suit that clung to every inch of her body. "The reason why I live in Ponyville? It's because I knew, one day, Twilight Sparkle----and her assistant and agent----would be stopping by some day."

At once, I crossed my arms and glared to my right, up at the side of Princess's Celestia's muzzle. "Care to explain why you couldn't tell me my rival's name when we've spent most of my life together?"

Celestia didn't even bother looking back at me. "Agent Fluttershy is far more teasing and thrillseeking than what she appears. Hiding your secret is already too heavy a weight to hold. Having one of your closest friends tease you about it constantly would not have ended well for anypony between the two of you."

But Fluttershy laughed. "To think that my shy acting was enough to fool Celestia's best agent after all these years."

I quickly seethed underneath the surface. "You're good, alright. I would have never suspected a thing until you gave yourself away today. You knew we'd meet like this anyway, didn't you?"

"And it's been a long time in the making." Fluttershy walked on the other side of the carpet until she was directly across from me. "Not only that, but aren't you excited to spend more time around me and my ass?"

She gave a soft twirl to her body, like an innocent girl suddenly placed on a stage, finding her confidence slowly in the approval of the audience. The suit clung perfectly along the slope of her flanks, adding yet another layer of softness to the perfection that was her rump.

I shook my head with a cough. "And just what do you mean by that?"

Fluttershy only grinned. "Isn't it sweet? Our first mission together will also be your last!"