Okay, who did it?

by Thylacine Nightmares

Rating: everyone
Tags: Other, Tirek, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Discord, Human, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1030

Twilight is on the hunt for a criminal.

A crime has been committed against the ponies of Ponyville.

A crime so horrific Twilight is unsure of who could do such a thing.

But...

She will find out!

Published 2019-05-22 00:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2019-05-22 00:00:02 UTC

The only one.

Okay who did it?

By Thylacine Nightmares

Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship, Alicorn of Magic, and general all around OCD sufferer, was at her wits end.

This curse on Ponyville had gone on for a week. Nopony could sleep, nopony could work, nopony could do anything with the curse active. She was determined to find the reason and the culprit behind what was happening.

With a loud snort she rose into the air outside her castle and took off towards Fluttershy’s house. It was Tuesday, and that meant her first suspect was there. She landed, growling at the horrific noise that echoed through the streets of the small town behind her, and tapped on the door.

Once Fluttershy answered it, Twilight stormed in, glaring around with a look that even made Angel Bunny whimper in a corner. “Where is he?” Twilight said with a snarl.

“W… W… Who?” Fluttershy asked in her timid tones.

“That ill-begotten bastard, Discord!” Twilight said, as she ground her teeth.

“Did somepony mention my name?” The Dracoequis asked as he appeared as a jam pot in the middle of the table.

Just before Twilight could speak again the horrible, ghastly noise came again. “That.” She said plainly.

Discord looked offended. “I can honestly tell you, despite being the God of Chaos, that I did NOT do…” Again the noise came, even making him shudder. “That.”

Twilight gave him a glare.

“Um… Twilight,” Fluttershy said as the purple Alicorn turned her glare on her, “I believe him, sorry but I do…”

“If you don’t believe me,” Discord said with a hurt expression on his face, “why not get dear Applejack here and ask her if I am telling the truth.”

“I might just do that.” Twilight grumbled before she marched out the door and was gone.

Thirty minutes later she returned with a sleepy, and grumbling, Applejack in her magic. She put the mare down and then looked at Discord and motioned for him to speak.

“I did not…” He started to say and the blast of noise coming from the town grew louder. “Have anything to do with that.”
Applejack looked at Discord with bleary eyes but nodded. “He’s *yawn* tellin’ tha truth.”

Twilight cried out in frustration.

“Twilight, I am not evil enough to do… that…” Discord shuddered. I can think of somepony who…” He didn’t get the chance to speak further as the Twilight disappeared in a teleport flash. “Oh, well, she’ll eventually figure it out I guess…” He turned his face to speak to Applejack and noticed the Palomino farm mare was asleep on the floor, he then turned his attention back to Fluttershy. “More tea?”

Twilight appeared in Tartarus, she turned and looked for one cage among the many, a cage belonging to one of the most evil beings she knew. It took her a few moments to discover it through the smoke and flames, and there she saw the shrunken and withered form of Tirek. She stomped towards the cage.

“Well if it isn’t princess Twilight Sparkle.” Tirek almost spat her title at her.

“Tirek,” Twilight said with a snort, “did you have something to do with this?” She then played a recording of the hideous noise back at him.

Tirek blanched. “I may be a sick and twisted Centaur, but some things are just too twisted even for me…”

“Are you sure?!” Twilight growled and replayed the noise again.

Tirek just whimpered and nodded his head as Twilight screamed ‘BUCK!’ at the top of her lungs making even Cerberus jump. She then thought of one being, one being so deceitful that she could do it. She flashed out of Tartarus like a mare on a mission.

A few moments later she appeared in a Changeling Hive, before Chrysalis herself, and glared at the Queen. “Did you do this?” Twilight then played the horrid noise for her.

The Changeling Queen screamed out in pain and writhed on her throne.

This surprised Twilight to the point of losing some of her ‘mad’. “You didn’t do this?”

Once Chrysalis had regained her composure she shook her head. “Twilight, I want to take over Equestria to take the love and give it to my changelings. How would this benefit me? I thought you were smarter?”

Twilight sighed and then glared at her. “Hey!”

Chrysalis gave a chuckle. “Sorry, old habits, but as I was about to say, I know of no being, native born to Equus, who could do such a horrific act.”

“Nopony, native born of Equus…” Twilight said to herself as she paced. Suddenly she stopped and looked at Chrysalis in dumbstruck awe.
“Worked it out, did you?” Chrysalis said with a sneering chuckle.

Twilight just nodded in a dumbfounded way before teleporting back out of the hive.

A short while later she stood, with a platoon of guards, outside a cottage to the north of Ponyville. She kicked in the door and strode in. “You… You did this… How could you, we offered you love and friendship and this is how you repay us?”

“I’m sorry,” the human male said, “I didn’t mean it…” He gave a soft whimper before jumping out the window behind him and running.

Twilight gave out an evil chuckle before turning to the guards. “Boys… Sick him.” She had the same evil smile as the guards ran off chasing the human.

Around fifteen minutes later a bound and gagged human was presented to Princess Twilight. “Oh what to do with you?” Twilight said with an evil smirk. “I should send you to Tartarus, but I won’t, that would be too easy on you.” She paced slightly. “No, I am giving you over to the ponies affected the most by this… crime…”

She then took a deep breath and raised her head to speak. “For what you have done there can be only one fitting punishment. You are sentenced to one thousand hours of community service to Ponyville for the crime of…” Just then the noise came again, it sounded like an elephant with bad gas trying to mate with a duck. “The crime of… Giving vuvuzelas to the Cutie Mark Crusaders.”